If parents had to name one thing kids are notorious for, it’s likely most of them would choose their ability to turn any place upside down. Doesn’t matter that the mess they make can look kind of cute and unpredictable (just like the kids themselves), resembling an unfinished post-modernistic art piece made of Legos and crayons; it’s always moms and dads who are going to be picking up after their little ones.

Or so you would think: after Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Anthony Bass recently tweeted that a flight attendant made his pregnant wife “get down on hands and knees” to pick up after their hungry 2-year-old, an age-old debate about who’s responsible for keeping such places tidy was dusted off yet again.

Garnering more than 45.8 million views in less than 48 hours, both parents and child-free travelers joined the discussion, offering arguments in favor of and against this dad’s outrage.

This dad was furious when a flight attendant told his wife clean up their children’s mess

Image credits: AnthonyBass52

Image credits: AnthonyBass52

Ever since United Airlines’ fiasco in 2017 when an unsuspecting, innocent passenger was forcibly removed from his seat by airport security, most airlines try to be on their best behavior. Of course, when you’re dealing with over-exhausted parents and their restless munchkins, there’s always some room for a viral disaster. That’s especially true when 62% of millennial parents tend to bring their little ones along on the trip, according to a recent report – a steady increase from 44% since 2018. Some of them (22%) even say it makes their vacationing more enjoyable.

With one camp of internet citizens agreeing that the flight attendant could have handled the misunderstanding better, and another who thought this dad might be overreacting – Anthony Bass’ situation is a curious one. Although, not as common as one might think.

While it’s clear that the internet has things to say about the matter, with more than 15,000 people already speaking their minds on Twitter; Bored Panda has reached out to Jacqueline Whitmore, an international etiquette expert and former flight attendant, to get her professional take on this situation.

“Flight attendants are accustomed to seeing a lot of debris on the plane after people get off. That’s why they come around the cabin to collect trash periodically and especially at the end of the flight,” Whitmore told us, recognizing that times have changed since she was in the uniform back in the early ’90s. “For a flight attendant to ask one person to get on her hands and knees to clean up, you almost have to ask everybody to do that. You can’t single out any one particular person. You don’t demand that a passenger do anything.”

Many readers criticized the flight attendant saying what they did was unprofessional

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Of course, the best practice in such cases is to hear out both sides – just ask any parent of two. But since we only got to witness the Bass family’s perspective, it’s only appropriate to give the whole situation the benefit of the doubt. “Flight attendants generally don’t ask passengers to get on their hands and knees,” she reasoned. “That is almost unbelievable.” We can imagine Meryl Love, author of the recent Guardian piece titled ‘As cabin crew, I’ve had enough of pushy parents demanding special treatment’ saying the same thing.

But let’s go back to the main issue: who’s responsible for cleaning up after kids at dining establishments or 36,000 feet in the air? It’s hard to know exactly where this conundrum falls between 67% of parents who believe dining places could accommodate families better. In any case, Whitmore thinks it’s important to teach kids from a young age to clean up after themselves. If not to help avoid similar misunderstandings in the future, then at least to raise an offspring who is tidy and respectful of others.

“I think as soon as children can understand, parents should start teaching them what’s right and wrong, including cleaning up after themselves,” she explains. Of course, as a reminder, Whitmore adds that some kids might not be physically or mentally able to do that, in which case parents should take responsibility.

While others thought the dad was no perfect role model either

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Cara Goodwin, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in child psychology and a mother of three, shares Jacqueline’s sentiment that it’s important to teach children to tidy up after themselves as soon as possible. Although, in the beginning, it may seem that the messy effort may not be worth the payoff. “In my own experience, it can be frustrating [at first]. Initially because sometimes it creates more work rather than less work for you as a parent,” she explained. “It is a lot easier to just put your child’s laundry in the bin than to direct a toddler to do it themselves and fix any mistakes it makes.”

One of the ways to get your little ones into the habit of picking up after themselves, Goodwin believes, is to get them involved with chores at home. “Young children have a natural desire to help others and imitate the actions of adults,” she told us. “The approach I used is explaining to them exactly how to help and encouraging their help (without undue pressure) and then praising them and giving them a lot of positive attention after helping.” And if nice words and compliments don’t seem to work their magic, a cookie or two won’t do any harm.

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