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Parents know, that there are some quite big differences between having your first and second children. From different approaches to pregnancy, to slightly different ways the kids are raised once born. And these changes were beautifully illustrated by Weng Chen - an incredible artist, VR game designer and a mom from China, currently living in the US.
Weng Chen was always close to the world of art. "When I was about 2, 3 years old, my mom drew me a little mermaid and told me the story," she wrote on her website. "I was fascinated, it was like magic that the most beautiful picture just came from my mom’s pen. I believe that was when I fell in love with drawing and storytelling."
Now she focuses on drawing comics about her dreams and daily lives raising her two daughters, Electra, the firstborn, and Ali, the secondborn, together with her husband. "Messycow comics were started with an impulse. I didn’t spend any time designing anything, just dove in and started drawing."
Her latest series of comics explain the differences between the firstborn and the secondborn children and the strips are hilarious. What do you think?
More info: wengchen.wordpress.com | Facebook
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Tiari 7 years ago
Why on earth would somebody think that low carb is especially healthy for a fetus? Low carb in a pregnancy increases the risk of obesity for that child later in life.
Matthew Hyder 7 years ago
These comics make me wonder if everyone should be an only child or something. :p Maybe it's just hyperbole but they don't seem like the most responsibke parents, and I'm in a family of 7 so meh. :p
Rina KingofDuck 2 years ago
20 weeks in, I’m actually much healthier wt the second on cuz I saw the consequences from the first preggy high carb diets (Candida I m staring at you). The second one is harder on the morning sickness too and consequently I have more aversion to oily greasy food.
This Lil Raccoon 7 years ago
My mum are chips dunked in chocolate when she was pregnant with me
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#2
Angie Chan 7 years ago
If it is any consolation, I got this as the daughter of a Korean woman because the son was valued much more.
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Sophia Sarai Mazoli 2 years ago
It's like that one scene in Despicable Me with gru and the Macaroni rocket
Marie Françoise Di Moro 7 years ago
and when my third child learn chess alone through pictures at the age of three...I was asking myself if he would play a game against his grandfather without cheating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMIEN GARZA 7 years ago
Second one is Gru from Despicable Me all over again (except this one has hair)
#3
Lenka Čábalová 7 years ago
Exactly the same situation here with my first born toddler... am I a bad mother? :D
Beth Arriaga 7 years ago
Nope. Not a bad mother at all. Realistic. My grandma used to often say, 'God made dirt. Dirt can't hurt.' Not sure if the scientific evidence, but it made sense. Lol
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Michael Kondakov 7 years ago
There's this joke... When your dog took the first kid's pacifier, you wash it with detergent and boil for an hour, then give it back to the kid. When the dog took the second kid's pacifier, you lick it thoroughly and give it back to the kid. When the dog took the third kid's pacifier, it the kid's problem to get it back.
Mike Allen 7 years ago
You know it's wrong because parents take basically zero pictures of their second child
Heather Bateman 7 years ago
BECAUSE THERE'S NO TIME!! By then the first born is a toddler and acting like a lunatic, so it's all you can do to keep them from committing suicide 5,124 times a day! Or at least that was my humble experience... ;D
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COton Channel 7 years ago
It's healthy to expose your child to germs and dirt because it strengths their immune system, also to flowers and such. Taking the kids to a farm periodically can help as well.
KismetTheFox 7 years ago
Actually, when I was younger I didn’t have a lot of boundaries concerning germs because my mom was a nurse and she knew that contact with germs strengthens the immunity towards it
#4
#5
MEB 7 years ago
I am currently pregnant with our first, which is also gonna be our last because of my age. Yesterday, Dear Husband and I have seen baby on the ultrasound and since then, he's been floating on a blissfull cloud, telling everyone he meets (even strangers!) about his unpreceded and boundless happiness. Guess who gets to wear a crown for the next 5 months? :)
Kawaii Panda 7 years ago
Congrats! I bless you and your family, and I wish for your baby to be happy and healthy!
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Lillian Sommers 7 years ago
OH hell no my husband will be treating me like a queen each and every pregnancy if he values his life.
Caroline Driver 7 years ago
I only had the one, but this, I do not recognise. I was doing the washing, housework etc whilst he was playing Diablo non stop on his paternity leave.
V-V 7 years ago
The image shows how the mom was treated like a queen when she was pregnant with the first child but she has too much work with having a child already and one coming
Load More Replies... #6
Rebekah 7 years ago
My first born has an actual baby book, with locks of his first cut hair, growth stats., etc. My second... well, he's fine.
BoopityBooptiyBooper 7 years ago
I don't think my parents changed the baby photos that much when I was born cause I'm basically a clone of my sister. I look EXACTLY like her in every stage of my life so far and she's 9 YEARS OLDER
Silver Margaret 7 years ago
My older brother, heaps of baby photos, my little sister quite a few baby photos, me 3 photos before I reached school age and they were taken by my grandfather
Adrienn Kellnerné Németh 7 years ago
I have three children and all of them have baby books and photobooks
Teddy O'Malley 7 years ago
I'm third born and I'm lucky I found any baby pictures of me. My oldest brother has an album full of like...thirty almost identical pictures of him. I think there like five of me. And I'm the only girl!
#7
Ande H 7 years ago
I have two older sister 🙄🙄 got hand me downs a lot The clothes weren’t bad ghey were awesome the sisters well j think you know
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This Lil Raccoon 7 years ago
I'm the first born but in my family you don't get away with not wearing hand me downs. I have clothes from my aunts, uncles, cousins and even my Nana. And we have a baby grow that's been passed down five generations
This Lil Raccoon 7 years ago
My old baby grow went through 8 kids before being handed down to me, another 4 after that, and it's still in perfectly good condition
Gillian Black 7 years ago
the hand me down syndrom (cant spell) and it sticks I was one of tree girls last born fashion ment nothing when it comes to HAND ME DOWNS
#8
Kjorn 7 years ago
parent didn't realise that often kids prefer the simplest toy. my older one got 1 plastic with truck we bought in in a dollar store... he kept it almost 4 years
Daria B 7 years ago
That's sweet. But if I have children, I already decided, I'll use them as an excuse to buy toys for myself. ♥
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Jodi Ellis 7 years ago
Kids were prefer the box the toy came in! So much imagination can go into a box!!
KismetTheFox 7 years ago
I didnt play with half the barbies I was given... I colored my Barbie dream house black to be a battle hideout... I used my uncles old army toys... the soldiers wild animals that helped sabotage the barbies won XD
Teddy O'Malley 7 years ago
I was a thrift kid, but I got a lot of cool stuff that way. ^_^ I was always begging my mom to take me to the thrift store to "treasure hunt".
#9
John Stackhouse 7 years ago
I was lucky, I guess. My 2 daughters (3 years apart) never argued over single thing! They're adults with their own children, now, and none of their children argue, either! (Their mother was an alcoholic, so I was their father and mother)
Load More Replies... Kjorn 7 years ago
yep! when you have 3 kids, put something in tv it's the only way to get few min of peace to prepare dinner
BoopityBooptiyBooper 7 years ago
When my sister was little: "Ok, you can watch Spongebob." When I was little: "AVERT YOUR EYES, MY CHILD!!!"
Rina KingofDuck 2 years ago
Preggy wt the second now. Not sure how will we able to do no screen time in the next two years ish as now the first one is really into Bluey and Monster truck shows (he gets to see it 2-3 times a weeks but there’s some other kid song MV too.). Any tips on managing the first one expectations (or mine!)?
#10
Sofie S 7 years ago
This happened to me, and I felt worthless as a mother for not being able to breastfeed. You can only try so much, and in the end what really counts is that the baby is being fed somehow and is healthy. I had to bottle feed him for his survival. I do think it's great when you can breastfeed your child, but sometimes you have to let go of some of your beliefs. Even though I had never thought about it, apparenltly, I as a new mother believed that a real mother has to breastfeed her child, or else she is not a "complete" mother. But now just see it as a true mother does what is best for her child, which in this case is giving the child enough nutrition no matter if it comes from a breast or bottle. Nobody wins a special prize for being able to do it the "natural" way. I'll never say I'm "pro" this or that. It hurt to be reminded by people that breast was the best when it didn't work in my situation even though i really wanted it to.
Chris Pitch 7 years ago
It is amazing the reasons as to why mothers possibly can not breast feed and the grief they cop. The mother of my children went through similar circumstance and people would judge. Our kids love us. No difference made to them.
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Claudia Lorenz 7 years ago
I did not breastfeed both of my children and never felt bad about it. Never. It is unbelievable how many seemingly sane people buy into every breastfeeding myth there is.
Catherine Marcelo 7 years ago
Sophie, don't feel worthless because you can't breast feed....You do everything for your child, and that does not lessen your role. You bond with your baby the same way when you bottle feed. Sure, breast feeding is good, but your baby loves and counts on you not one less bit!! Keep your chin up buttercup!
Shannon Moore 7 years ago
I had a ton of issues with my 1st born bf-ing...mastitis, trouble latching, etc. We ended up nursing for 2 yrs. My 2nd did amazing with nursing, but he weaned himself way before I was ready. I had to remember, it's a nursing RELATIONSHIP. By my 3rd kid, I thought it would be smooth sailing again. I was dead wrong. She had reflux and often fought me when it came to nursing. Yet, we somehow made it to almost 3 yrs. Point is while nursing is natural, it is rarely easy. It's a shame, however that 1 person has to be responsible for the manufacturing of all breastmilk. If donor milk were less expensive and wet nursing wasn't stigmatized, maybe it could be easier for a lot of moms.
Monilip 7 years ago
I'm sorry you didn't find all support and help you needed. When mother wants to breastfeed and has problems (most of women have) and don't get all support and help they need (to overcome problems) it's just really sad, in my opinion. Doctors and nurses should help women breastfeed (if women wants to breastfeed, if they don't want too it's their choice, obviously)
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Andrea Koelling 7 years ago
I have 3 children and none of them wanted to breast feed. To tell the truth, I didn't care for it either, They were all bottle-fed and were strong, healthy children who grew into strong, healthy adults.
Paula Richey 7 years ago
I could only manage for 6 months with either of mine... but I felt much less guilty about it with my second! :) Breast is best but bottles save lives.
Jewell Starsinger 7 years ago
Disgusting normalization of the flawed nuclear family in all its dysfunction. Not funny.
Laura Harvey 7 years ago
Bf baby 1 for two and half years. Despite the agony I experienced for months at the beginning. Managed a few months bf with baby 2. I didn't want to torture myself any longer . I decided I deserved to at least not put myself through agony any longer. Whereas 1st baby I didn't think about myself once.
#12
Pull King 7 years ago
A baby will love y our food.. a toddler will hate u even if it is a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meal
ArtistclyAutistic 7 years ago
I’m the first born, and my mom only made all my sisters food fresh. I got the weird fridge stuff. Thanks mom
Heather Bateman 7 years ago
That's hilarious!! I did go through the baby food stage with my second where I steamed and puréed frozen fruits and vegetables and refroze in ice cube trays. That was so much more a cost saving measure than anything though!
Ilona Z 7 years ago
Idk, I'm pregnant for the first time now and i dont find it funny... I know (hope) it's a exaggeration and maybe it's just my hypersensitivity, but it seems too unfair to me, sorry messycow :-x :-)
Cherie Wallace 7 years ago
you wouldnt see the humor if you dont have a second born
Load More Replies... Mika N 7 years ago
I'm sure she's exaggerating to be funny, as with most of these :) that's part of what makes a joke.
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#13
Donna Rose 7 years ago
Most comfortable breastfeeding position I ever learned came from watching a gorilla.
Loraine MacGinness 7 years ago
What happens with the third ? Brother and sister's are their Mum and Dad !!
#14
Daniel Sipes 7 years ago
I am a middle child and this is PAINFULLY relatable. I had walking pneumonia once and could barely breath one night due to all the congestion in my lungs. My parents didn't believe I was actually having trouble breathing and assumed I was just panicking. If my grandfather didn't have an oximeter on him, my family probably would have let me stay at home and I would have died of oxygen deprivation. :|
Farnaz Khoshbakht 7 years ago
i almost died twice, because of food poisoning and sting bite reaction and both times they didn't care all day and i remember I hear myself dr telling my dad, "If you brought her 10 minutes later she would have died" . They thought I was unconscious talking above my bed . I am a classic case of middle child.
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A S Koziol 7 years ago
It's a good thing Mother Nature made babies as resilient as they are! :) (Because you can't always do everything "right" and you don't aways catch them before they get hurt..)
I Love My Dog 7 years ago
I'm the third child and this happened to me. When I was 7 I got The mumps. Mum thought it was a heat rash or something and she sent me off to school. My teacher thankfully knew exactly what it was and sent me home. Unfortunately though I still managed to spread it around and 8 girls in my class got it. My mother was not popular.
Jodi Ellis 7 years ago
All about experience. Once you have learned not to freak out over the smallest things, life changes.
floof lover 7 years ago
See, as the oldest, I'm supposed to suck it up. My 16 year old brother has always been pampered. My mother took him to the ER for constipation when he was 7. CONSTIPATION! Just make him drink prune juice- that's what she made me do
KT Trondsen 7 years ago
Yep true. I was #4, I almost died of blood poisoning. Showed my mom the line going up my arm, she was like eh you'll be fine, next day wake up it's at my chest. Dr said if it had reached my heart things would have become fatal fast
Katharine Lancaster 7 years ago
With my 1st child, it was right to the doctor or ER. But that’s because she had so many medical problems when she was young. With my 2nd child, I just waited to see how he responded to his injuries. There were times when he’d get up and shake it off, so we’d forgo the hospital. Then there were the times when he’d broken something and tried to hide it so he could still play... Broken arm, “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt that bad. I can still play, right?!” Nope! I draw the line at broken bones. And dog bites. And puncture wounds. Sometimes I wonder if he even feels it.
Teddy O'Malley 7 years ago
I thought 102F was dangerously high. My mom ( a nurse) would have taken me to the hospital if my fever was that high. I could see taking a wait and see approach if it was 99 or less, maybe.
Owl Payson 6 years ago
I’m always at a hundred, if I’m 101 take off your jacket and I’ll re-check later
Load More Replies... #15
Daria B 7 years ago
What's with all those "English language" comments? Ms. Understood was clearly talking about the attitude of the people depicted in the comic.... *sigh*
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emily p. 7 years ago
Trying to understand the reason (and tone) behind her friend's comment... Is it a sin for a woman to continue carrying postpartum weight? I have yet to experience a pregnancy, but if a friend spoke to me like that, I would feel hurt, judged, and ashamed.
La Petite Morte 7 years ago
People often feel, when you have your 2nd+ kid, that you should have known better and it will be so much harder on your body and everyone should have one kid. Remnants of the zero population growth fad.
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#16
Joannie Goulet 7 years ago
My third baby is 2 months old and I'm guilty of still having this old photo of my first 2 in my wallet dating back to 2014...
BoopityBooptiyBooper 7 years ago
In my family, that could be me, it could be my sister. No one knows
J T 3 years ago
Actually I was laughing all through the comics.. 😂 because I have a 1year old and I am seriously that particular with him! If he doesn't eat I go into depression 🤣 but I don't know what I'll do with 2nd kid. I guess by that time I'll be fine with everything. But then I read the comments sections.. and phew... I remembered that I am a second child and having an elder sister with 32 years of long mental health issues and her issues with my parents... This had actually left me feeling like an orphan... I actually went to therapy because my parents never had time for me. She was always always always into some kind of trouble. Even today her marriage is going through a divorce... She just cannot live a peaceful life, i just feel very very sorry for my mum and dad.. they never received any love, respect and care from her inspite of all that they did for her... It's her tendency to kick and hurt the people who love and support her.. and we have all have our butts kicked... Really sad.
Ruth Beaty 7 years ago
My husband carried around a picture of our four kids when they were between 9 and 3 until the day he died. The oldest is almost 40 now.
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What do you think ?
Daria B 7 years ago
I see some first-borns here speaking up about how their younger sibling seems to have been given more attention. Now, I don't know your personal family life, so please, don't think I'll be lecturing you, I'm just going to offer you a different outlook that might (or might not) help you out. 1.) The thing is that very likely you were given a similar amount of attention, it's just that you were too young to remember or even notice. It's always easier to see things in 3rd person. 2.) It's very human for new parents to be extra careful with their first born, because they're still learning. With the next children they get more relaxed because now they have some knowledge and experience, and this is what these comics are all about.
Echo 7 years ago
And 3.) Raising kids is a lot of damn work. Your parents may also just be worn out. I know I am.
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Jeanie Kwon 7 years ago
This made me kinda sad actually. I'm a firstborn and my brother is the secondborn and I think he struggled with being compared with me all the time and feeling like he wasn't as appreciated or "needed", I suppose, than me. This entire comic makes it really evident to me that my brother's grief isn't unbased and that it probably is a wider issue among secondborns or middle childs than expected. Downvote :(
Monilip 7 years ago
Well, I have difference experience. I'm firstborn and I have younger brother. My mother's focus was always on him (for as long as I can rembember) and well, she cares more about him than me. Maybe it's mama's boy thing, I don't know. I'm still bitter about it sometimes and I'm grown women now. So it's not always "firstborn is the best" thing
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Zori the degu 7 years ago
That's why I've always thought having 1+ kids is a bad idea. I suffered exactly the same problem, even though I was the firstborn in the family. I just felt as though I was treated unfairly. Always having to clean up after my sister and yeah, it was always my fault, even if it was obvious she was the one who messed everything up. Fortunately, at some point my mom bought a couple of books on children psychology and soon all was fine and my relationship with my parents was greatly improved. And, no, it wasn't just the fact that I grew older and already had more brains in my head.
COton Channel 7 years ago
Some parents think that they know so much about parenting and they avoid any advice of people who have lots of experience in that field. I guess we, as humans, we love to reinvent the wheel.
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Jewell Starsinger 7 years ago
Not funny. Sad, really. Our culture sees these travesties as normal events instead of symptoms of a terrible system - The nuclear family. Why is it considered normal for one under-trained young woman to train a new person, all by herself? Where is her extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors! She is alone in her house raising children, w***y-nilly as she pleases. WTF?
Daniela Spireva-Ivanovska 7 years ago
I did not do most of the things for my child (I have only one) and I find this too exaggerated. And I would not allow myself to treat my children unequally (don't give me that "Wait until you have second child"). My mother treated me and my sis the same and I don't see why I shouldn't do the same.
Ntosh 7 years ago
I have 2 kids, the first born is a boy, second is a girl. I could not relate at all to all these. It may be because they are of different sexes. I still fuss about what my second eats, what she wears, what she is exposed to, and so much more. She is a year old but she is still my baby, I don't want her to grow :(. And the big one is still mommy's boy
stellermatt 7 years ago
yep, you think your 1st child is soo fragile, turns out not so much and you probably didn't need to worry THAT much, so 2nd child gets benefit of the doubt.
Just a Purpler 7 years ago
Oh the joys of being the second born... I wish she'd at least included some of the cons of being the first born. This is actually a rather one sided views comic. I feel depressed now, not amused...
Ehren Thomsen 7 years ago
Of course it's a rather one sided view, because the comic is not about the children, it's about the mom.
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Donna Rose 7 years ago
I think a lot of this is so true, but some of how the kids are treated has to do with whether the parents were first borns or later. My mom was a second child and my dad was a youngest. The day my younger sister was born, she became the princess who could do no wrong. What she wanted was law, what she said was always true. They were so focused on making sure she didn't get the short end of the stick that they forgot it could go the other way. Now as a parent, I often find myself relating more to my oldest, and I have to be careful because I don't want them to be treated unequally.
Daria B 7 years ago
I see some first-borns here speaking up about how their younger sibling seems to have been given more attention. Now, I don't know your personal family life, so please, don't think I'll be lecturing you, I'm just going to offer you a different outlook that might (or might not) help you out. 1.) The thing is that very likely you were given a similar amount of attention, it's just that you were too young to remember or even notice. It's always easier to see things in 3rd person. 2.) It's very human for new parents to be extra careful with their first born, because they're still learning. With the next children they get more relaxed because now they have some knowledge and experience, and this is what these comics are all about.
Echo 7 years ago
And 3.) Raising kids is a lot of damn work. Your parents may also just be worn out. I know I am.
Load More Replies... Jeanie Kwon 7 years ago
This made me kinda sad actually. I'm a firstborn and my brother is the secondborn and I think he struggled with being compared with me all the time and feeling like he wasn't as appreciated or "needed", I suppose, than me. This entire comic makes it really evident to me that my brother's grief isn't unbased and that it probably is a wider issue among secondborns or middle childs than expected. Downvote :(
Monilip 7 years ago
Well, I have difference experience. I'm firstborn and I have younger brother. My mother's focus was always on him (for as long as I can rembember) and well, she cares more about him than me. Maybe it's mama's boy thing, I don't know. I'm still bitter about it sometimes and I'm grown women now. So it's not always "firstborn is the best" thing
Load More Replies... Zori the degu 7 years ago
That's why I've always thought having 1+ kids is a bad idea. I suffered exactly the same problem, even though I was the firstborn in the family. I just felt as though I was treated unfairly. Always having to clean up after my sister and yeah, it was always my fault, even if it was obvious she was the one who messed everything up. Fortunately, at some point my mom bought a couple of books on children psychology and soon all was fine and my relationship with my parents was greatly improved. And, no, it wasn't just the fact that I grew older and already had more brains in my head.
COton Channel 7 years ago
Some parents think that they know so much about parenting and they avoid any advice of people who have lots of experience in that field. I guess we, as humans, we love to reinvent the wheel.
Load More Replies... Jewell Starsinger 7 years ago
Not funny. Sad, really. Our culture sees these travesties as normal events instead of symptoms of a terrible system - The nuclear family. Why is it considered normal for one under-trained young woman to train a new person, all by herself? Where is her extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors! She is alone in her house raising children, w***y-nilly as she pleases. WTF?
Daniela Spireva-Ivanovska 7 years ago
I did not do most of the things for my child (I have only one) and I find this too exaggerated. And I would not allow myself to treat my children unequally (don't give me that "Wait until you have second child"). My mother treated me and my sis the same and I don't see why I shouldn't do the same.
Ntosh 7 years ago
I have 2 kids, the first born is a boy, second is a girl. I could not relate at all to all these. It may be because they are of different sexes. I still fuss about what my second eats, what she wears, what she is exposed to, and so much more. She is a year old but she is still my baby, I don't want her to grow :(. And the big one is still mommy's boy
stellermatt 7 years ago
yep, you think your 1st child is soo fragile, turns out not so much and you probably didn't need to worry THAT much, so 2nd child gets benefit of the doubt.
Just a Purpler 7 years ago
Oh the joys of being the second born... I wish she'd at least included some of the cons of being the first born. This is actually a rather one sided views comic. I feel depressed now, not amused...
Ehren Thomsen 7 years ago
Of course it's a rather one sided view, because the comic is not about the children, it's about the mom.
Load More Replies... Donna Rose 7 years ago
I think a lot of this is so true, but some of how the kids are treated has to do with whether the parents were first borns or later. My mom was a second child and my dad was a youngest. The day my younger sister was born, she became the princess who could do no wrong. What she wanted was law, what she said was always true. They were so focused on making sure she didn't get the short end of the stick that they forgot it could go the other way. Now as a parent, I often find myself relating more to my oldest, and I have to be careful because I don't want them to be treated unequally.
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