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40 Things Said On A First Date That Absolutely Ruined All Chances For A Second
Interview With Expert
It takes a while to truly get to know someone. After all, gaining an accurate understanding of a person's values, dreams, and quirks usually requires more than one conversation. Usually, but not always. Sometimes, people have such incompatible traits or beliefs that we sense it right away.
So when Reddit user Velcroshell asked everyone on the platform to share the things they'd heard on a first date that prevented a second one, the responses started pouring in. Continue scrolling to check out the submissions, and don't miss the chat we had with therapist Jourdan Travers. You'll find it in between the stories.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
We went to a club where there were lots of dancing. There was a woman there who was clearly trashed and blacked out on the dance floor. I don't know how she was still standing upright as she looked like she shouldn't be. I said to my date (I was 30, F) that I wanted to find her friends and make sure she got home safe and that that made me sad and worried for her. And my date said, "Well most girls have fantasies about being r*ped, so she probably would like it."
Needless to say, I rejected his offer to stay over that night, and braved the NYC subway at 2am instead. There was no second date.
Kristiina 1 year ago
Where did this delusion about women wanting to be r*ped began? Bad p*rn, incels or something else.
TheElderNom 1 year ago
People can have preferences that only apply to fiction. Like in fiction they like more forceful guys including stuff that in reality would at the very least border on rape, but it often does not translate into reality. Most reasonable people would understand the difference.
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Lena Flising 1 year ago
Horrible nightmares, boy-o, not positive fantasies! How many girls has he interviewed to get this info? P*rn is not documentaries, silly boy.
To gain a better understanding of the dos and don'ts on a first date, we got in touch with Jourdan Travers, LCSW, a licensed clinical therapist and clinical director of Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching to individuals, couples, families, and organizations in over 40 countries worldwide.
According to her, if you want to know if things are going well, ask yourself if your date is genuinely interested in learning more about you and if they ask questions and answer the questions you ask them.
"First dates are meant for getting to know a person and seeing if there's a connection or the potential for one," Travers told Bored Panda. "Do you share similar interests, hobbies, or a sense of humor? It's an opportunity to keep things casual, without the pressure of a fancy dinner or adventure followed by an expectation of intimacy."
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#2
For context, I have cerebral palsy. I am well-adjusted so it's not always obvious but I needed tons of OT and PT growing up, and I currently have a hard time with balance, spatial perception, and muscle control.
I landed a date with this very hot girl; ticked off all the boxes I liked and she was very sweet to boot. By all accounts the date was going perfectly. We were both having a great time, we held hands briefly, and the time seemed to fly by.
Towards the end though we decided to take a subway to a bar I really liked across town and she saw a sign that stated seated passengers would need to surrender their seats to elders and/or disabled people who need them. She blatantly said that she hates disabled people getting accommodations, said disabled people are drains on society, and expressed her view that if someone is disabled enough to need a special parking spot or a seat then they should commit themselves to "homes". Her tone did a 180 and I couldn't believe it, she became like a different person for a minute.
I finished the date but in my head I realized that no amount of external sexiness could make up for internal nastiness. An hour-ish after I got home she texted me saying she had a wonderful time and asked me on a second date, and I apologized and said no, not interested. She asked why and I told her that I was in fact a disabled person and was hurt by her comments on the subway, and she never responded. One of my friends was annoyed that I turned down such a hot girl, until I explained all of what happened. That was that.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
What an absolutely repulsive human being that girl is. Disabled people are people. They are not “drains on society”; they are just as human as the able-bodied. It is true that some disabled people are unable to work, and some need specialized care, and some need accommodations, but they absolutely DO contribute to society. And they DESERVE to get the accommodations, care, and help that they need. My dad became fully disabled after an accident in 2000 - apparently, according to this girl, I should have tossed him into a Dumpster instead of spending the next 21 years caring for him and then holding his hand as he died.
Jihana 1 year ago
You don't even have to be disabled to be a drain on society. That girl, for example, lowered the IQ of the whole train.
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Stacy Jones 1 year ago
The funny/sad part is that almost all of us end up disabled if we live long enough, and when it happens to her, she will greedily demand priority access to services because "[her] tax dollars have supported people like this all [her] life, now it's [her] turn!" That's just how people like that think.
Vinnie 1 year ago
If she continues with that attitude, may she never get old.
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nm (he/him) 1 year ago (edited)
Even the primitive Neanderthals were taking care of their sick or disabled. F.U. heartless biitch!
Regina Holt 1 year ago
I had a temporary plackard that gave me disability parking rights. Because of having difficulty breathing after a lung collapse and some other issues. OK, so people with respiratory issues (that can be resolved) should be put in a "home". Um, I think she was mentally disabled.
Teddy O'Malley 1 year ago
But mentally disabled people tend to be much nicer than her, so not really a fair comparison. She was just an a*****e.
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Karina 1 year ago
Lets see her handle anything close to what oop went through.. oh yes, she couldnt even see a Seat without failing.
Vinnie 1 year ago
Imagine someone being triggered by a sign or a parking spot requesting consideration for others.
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Little Bad Wolf 1 year ago
My daughter has CP due to a stoke at birth. I hope she never dates a person like this 😞
#3
He told me he didn’t feel comfortable that I was pursuing a doctorate because he didn’t like women who thought they were smarter than he was.
HighNMightyBigshotBossOfWorld 1 year ago
Dead women wouldn’t even date him. He should stick to silicone
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Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I think I'd rather date someone smarter than me. Keep me out of trouble.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
I like the way you think - as long as you listen to their advice/warning (note: I didn't say "follow it blindly")
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BrunoVI 1 year ago
Sounds like OP was already turned down, not that he blew his chances. Seems like a stupid-as-f reason to reject a woman, but I wonder if there were other ways he felt intellectually belittled. Then again, there are plenty of idiot men out there and I've read where similar intelligence is the biggest make-or-break characteristic for relationships.
Quantifiable data supports these sentiments. Last year, social and behavioral health psychologist James Moran examined dating behaviors using the Netflix show "Dating Around" as a basis for his analysis.
Together with his team, Moran conducted two studies. One looked at the actions used on a first date and the other determined how effective they were. For the first study, participants were asked to list behaviors they believed would lead to successful first dates. The second involved coding the dating behaviors from the Netflix show "Dating Around" to rank their power in landing a second date.
#4
"I'm posting everything we say on Instagram. And I'm getting suggestions on what to ask you from my followers".
Went "to the toilet" and left.
Tony Trílex 4 weeks ago
tell your followers that I think you are kinda an attention w***e, I have to go to the bathroom and I'll be in the bathroom forever.
michael naretto 1 year ago
Who relies on Instagram to carry a conversation? Anyway, if all you do is go on social medial while on a date, it's time to leave.
#5
”Poor people shouldn’t get any help. They should just stop being poor.”
I can’t believe I went on a date with an actual Meme.
Nichole Harris 1 year ago
If I had only known!!! Wait, imma go get right on that🤣
Load More Replies... Danish Susanne 1 year ago (edited)
What do you mean? How could he lead the way, when he cannot even see past his own nose?
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Sprouted Tater 1 year ago
Let me write that down, yet another suggestion on how I can not be poor.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I wonder how she found such an intellectual who could solve the issue of the ever widening poverty gap....
Cari Owens 1 year ago
Should have come back with "Give me all your money and I probably wouldn't be poor."
The results of Moran's work also revealed that:
- Men reported that deep conversation was the primary technique they would use, while women focused mostly on telling jokes and being funny. Other popular behaviors were complimenting, listening, and trying to be kind.
- Women were also the ones who said that they would consider kissing on a first date and that getting too drunk during a first date is a bad idea.
- Women thought that men would be more successful on the first date if they followed traditional etiquette norms, such as being attentive, polite, and kind.
- Men claimed that women who engaged in "involvement" behaviors, such as flirting, holding hands, complimenting, and drinking alcohol, would generally do better on a first date.
#6
"Are you sure you want to eat that?"
I wanted some fried banana peppers in addition to my small salad.
I was also 118lb and exercised regularly.
Good thing that dude was a jerk because I was on the fence about canceling my drinks date with another guy if this one went well. Luckily Mr. Judgy McJudgerson was not it, and the man I may have canceled became my husband. Thank you, Bachelor Number One, for being an a*s.
Kel_how 1 year ago
I love that response. Anytime someone is rude, just ask them to repeat or clarify.
Load More Replies... Regina Holt 1 year ago
Not the same thing exactly, but one time I was sitting out in a mall, eating this really decadent chocolate ball of decadence. This dude came out from the gym and sat near me. He told me that was gonna kill me. I just told him that at least I would die with a smile on my face. Why comment on what some stanger is eating?
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
I did ask a girl that question when we on a date once, but the food in question was green bird's eye chili salsa on fries (fusion food joint and for those who may be wondering, the green ones are way spicier than the red ones and the red ones are already spicy in general - speaking through unfortunate experience). She gave me the weirdo side-eye thing and proceeded to order them and got through less than a quarter of the fries before she started sweating and downing water. Before I could get up and try to help, she had already made a beeline for the washroom. Safe to say, it was pretty awkward for the rest of the one and only date.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Aren't banana peppers really spicy hot? Maybe he was referring to that aspect. js
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Banana peppers are extremely mild and are sometimes actually sweet XD
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
I saw "peppers" and thought "Maybe they have a high scoville?"; that might be one VALID reason to say "Are you sure you want to eat that?", if it was like Carolina Reaper (1,5-2 MILLION scoville), or so. But no, when I googled, they were more like red peppers, around 500 scoville. :D So no, the only "reason" to say that is to be judgmental, and to escape a second date... Good for both these people to not have to engage further.
#7
Bro yelled at our uber driver for being a couple minutes late. I was mortified to be on a date with someone who treats service workers like s**t.
Cora Van der Gaag 11 months ago
Perhaps girl dating him didn’t like into a car driven by him while he was drunk. 😁
Load More Replies... Regina Holt 1 year ago
Geez, the uber driver might have been delayed by something like road construction, or just bad traffic.
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
you called your date bro. he does not know what he's missing out on.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
A couple of minutes late? I wouldn't even have started being worried yet. My grandmother was four hours late to her first date with my grandfather, and when he was still there, she knew he was The One. Lucky for me, or I wouldn't exist... (She didn't have a habit of being that late, it was a series of minor accidents.)
#8
She said something to the effect of, "I have two kids. Don't waste my time unless you plan to be a father to them." I'm ok with kids but not with that approach.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
I mean, that just sounds like someone who has trauma.... as a stepdad to two kids who married their mom who has PTSD and chronic anxiety. Sometimes you just have to be blunt because you literally do not have time or emotional energy to deal with anyone who wants anything less than what your situation is. Getting it out quickly is certainly a choice, but my wife did something very similar. Sometimes the bluntness weeds out the people who can't handle it, which is usually the point.
My O My 1 year ago
I appreciate the bluntness too. As long as it isn't said in a b****y attitude!
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Charles McChristy 1 year ago
I had a woman asking me to babysit her daughter after knowing her a week. The next week she said I needed to start disciplining her daughter. I ran fast.
Vinnie 1 year ago
Wow. What was next, date #4, you raise the kid yourself??
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Karen Krause 1 year ago
My sister wouldn't introduce her kids to anyone unless they were serious. She's looking for a father for her kids not anything else.
Jojo on the Gogo 1 year ago
I have “don’t have or want kids” my dating profile. I’ve lost count of how many matches have not had that, but instead wait until Matching to drop the subtle, “oh btw, I have x kids, is that ok?” Like helllllo
Paul Jayne 1 year ago
Same. I was dating a guy and it was going well (I thought). After about 2 months he fesses up to having adult kids from an earlier relationship and 2 youngsters (under 12 yo) from last relationship. I couldn't run fast enough.
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Joy Chapman 3 months ago
My kids were teens when I started dating after the divorce. I said to them, "If my dates are disrespectful to you, tell me immediately. However, I am not looking for a father for you. You have one. I am looking for a husband for me." I told my dates, "You don't have to love my children, but you need to understand that I do."
Lena Flising 1 year ago
Don't the kids have a father already? Being a fun Stepfather every other week is one thing. Being a full time dad, as the Real Dad has skedaddled, is something completely different.
However, "it's best to avoid deeply personal topics when going on a first date," added Travers, who also contributes to the website Therapy Tips, a news and publishing division of Awake Therapy.
"The purpose of a first date is to get to know the other person and see if there's potential for a connection. While discussions about money, sex, religion, and politics are important, they're not necessary during the initial meeting." You can delve into these subjects later, after the two of you have already established some rapport.
#9
"You're not Black enough for me."
When my date told me this, I excused myself to the bathroom and dipped out the side door of the restaurant, leaving her with the check.
Spidercat 1 year ago
What does that even mean? Like did she have a colour chart? Or was it a "You're not behaving Black enough" kinda racism? Because that's even more strange.
Dre Mosley 1 year ago
As a black man, I can tell you it could mean one of two things: Either it meant his complexion wasn't dark enough or more likely, he didn't act like what she expected a black man to act; Some black people get accused of "acting white" because of nonsense like how they dress or what music they may like(like a black person who is into heavy metal for example) or if they don't use a lot of slang when they speak.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
Stuck with the check, the date ended up in the red and the OP in the black. Black enough.
MonicaChicagoGal 1 year ago
I've been told this before I'm a fair skinned black woman all I could do was sit there speechless. How do you even respond to something like this?
Lena Flising 1 year ago
Did you say you were 87 percent black but turned out to be only74 percent? Just kidding, you ought to like people for their personality, not JUST for their skin-tone.
Layla Layla 1 year ago
Next time she should ask for a color to save everyone trouble. Anyone who responds would be perfectly suited to her
Kaedyn Walsh 11 months ago
Every person has their personal preferences but it's HOW they go about handling it that makes it respectable or not. And her way was not respectable.
michael naretto 1 year ago
Not black enough? What does that even mean? No droopy drawers? No Side Show Bob hair style? Doesn't listen to gangster rap? Went to college and now has successful career? No arrest record? This is really confusing....
robin aldrich 1 year ago
Would the proper response be: you're too black for me"...sorry I'm white, that was inappropriate
#10
As I exited my car in the parking lot to meet up for dinner:
“OMG! YOU LIED!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE 5’8”!!!! YOU ARE AT LEAST 5’10” IN HEELS! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME?????”
I immediately got back in my car and drove away…
We hadn’t even greeted each other yet. He just angrily screamed this at me from 20 feet away… He is 5’10”. I had no problem with him being 5’10”, but apparently he does? It was a weird interaction.
Papa 1 year ago
This is one of the many things in the world I will never understand. Height doesn't matter to me at all.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Agreed! A couple guys with whom I have been on at least one date were an inch or two taller than me , give or take two each way. So what? His heart is more important than his height for any guy I’d want to date and/or marry!
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Gwyn 1 year ago
These guys will act like mean idiots because they are insecure about their height, then totally blame the woman for not liking them because they are too short. 🙄
Happy to be a wallflower 1 year ago
Exactly, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of being insecure --> lashing out bc of insecurity --> justifying that person leaving you bc of whatever they're insecure about --> becoming more insecure
Load More Replies... Gwyn 1 year ago
Well, if you are 5'8" and wearing two inch heels then you'd be 5'10". How does he think she lied about this? Is this some weird short guy syndrome math?
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I'm still absolutely puzzled about people worrying about heights.... Who cares?
R Dennis 1 year ago
I'm 5'9", is that short? Am I supposed to feel less than? Somebody help me out, because it doesn't mean anything to me...
Papa 1 year ago
You are pretty much exactly average height for an adult male.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
My boyfriend is 5’9”. Neither one of us have ever had any insecurities or issues with his height. Height-bros baffle me. As a complete aside, when I was a kid, I wanted to be 5’8” when I grew up, because that was the height of my favorite X-Man, Rogue XD But I was a literal child and didn’t become super-insecure when it DIDN’T happen (I’m 5’5”.)
The Abe 1 year ago
I dated a girl who was taller than me for a bit. It was a little odd that putting my arm around her or holding hands ended up the opposite angle than I was used to, and I had to look up instead of down to kiss her...but I don't see how it would be embarrassing or emasculating. If you're that insecure about your height, I think there are other things you need to work out for yourself.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
I always found dude's dating taller women to be a flex, while recognizing that judging someone on their height is pretty asinine.
Papa 1 year ago
I wouldn't have minded dating a woman taller than me back when I was single, but I'm 6' tall (183cm), so there weren't many out there.
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Frozengeckolover 1 year ago
I've experienced this kind of immature behavior. I'm a 5'8" woman. Apparently, there are a lot of insecure, immature men running around unsupervized in society. I don't care about height, and I'm not going to give up wearing heels because of some guys ego. Also, guys, please stop lying about your height online. Many women do not care how tall you are, but we do care that you lied to us; which results in a first date becoming the last date. Don't be ashamed of who you are, and don't make women feel ashamed of who they are either. Weirdly, I understand what it's like to be teased for being short. I'm the only person in my family below 5'10" in generations. Then I started dating, and now I get teased for being to tall. Height does not matter! Everyone is fine the way they are.
#11
“Don’t call me. My husband checks my phone”.
BossyHossy1 1 year ago
I love getting contact instructions. It's like Tom Cruise is about to pop up and drag me on a dangerous, impossible mission. Something like: 1) no calls/texts to this phone; 2) no emails; 3) I will text you from my other phone at exactly 3 am - 2 #'s and you know to call me back at that number. If you are texting me at 3 am, coffee had better be made, biscuits in the oven and I better here the sizzle of bacon or this will not end well.for you (or your ability to hear out of both ears).
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Is texting okay then? No, in all seriousness that is beyond messed up. That'll end up like a Lifetime movie if things move forward.
Lene 1 year ago
I honestly think it is some caveman-behaviour. I saw an interview with some scinetist who'd looked into the phenomenon of women wanting taller men. I can't recall the results exactly but it was something assumed to go back to hunter-gatherer societies. It is certainly not an excuse but it is an explanation why so many ppl have this weird idea.
#12
Within seconds of my arrival, he mentioned that he needed the Medical Examiner to hurry up and release his wife's death certificate, because he needed the insurance money for a business he was starting. She "drowned in the bathtub while drunk."
His first wife allegedly died in an accidental fall.
The major airline he flies for has a serial k*ller in its ranks.
Karina 1 year ago (edited)
Forensic evidence eta its often based on a true story. If you watch forensic evidence, you will see csi, castle, bones and more
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Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Dude might as well have been wearing a t-shirt saying "I AM A DANGEROUS PSYCHOPATH"
#13
We walked into a bar and most of the people there were Black. No big deal, I live in a southern city that’s mostly Black, segregation might exist here, but you’ve got to work for it.
She had just moved to my city, so wasn’t accustomed to this I guess, she took one look around and said “do you want to go somewhere where there’s more people like us?” I thought she meant lesbians, so I said sure, and suggested a bar a lot of lesbians go to.
We get to the bar, lo and behold it’s roughly 50/50 split between Black and white folk. She said “there’s still so many of them”. I *finally* asked what she meant.
Bold as day she said “Black people. There’s so many Black people”. Date over.
Strings 1 year ago
This is why I actually support the use of racial epithets. Sorts out the idiots right away
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Gregory Mead 4 weeks ago
It always amazes me when a member of a discriminated minority discriminates against another discriminated minority.
Karen Nanan 1 year ago
I have the opposite problem...I feel weird/uncomfortable being somewhere that's overwhelmingly white...And I'M WHITE....
Lena Flising 1 year ago
Humans originated in Africa. We are all descendants of Black people. Besides, weren't you on a date? What does it matter how OTHER people look?
michael naretto 1 year ago
A friend and I went to an all black bar in Seattle. Yep , we were the only two white people in the whole place. We were welcomed and we had a blast.
#14
"I have to live with my Mom because all three of my baby mama's insist that I pay child support".
NopeNopeNopeNopeNope!
ETA: I think I need to add that, he wasn't mentioning it, he was COMPLAINING about it. Like "if these women didn't insist on child support, I would be able to move out" and "I have to put dinner on my credit card because I'm always broke because I have to pay child support"...I paid for my own meal, BTW. Which I don't mind doing, I always insist on the first date so they don't think I "owe" them something in return, but he had to out his $12 Denny's meal (yes, he insisted on Denny's) on a credit card.
BoredBranzino 1 year ago
Sooooo many thoughts: 1) Does your mama know how you *really* treat women??, u can get condoms for free, 3) u should have learned after #2, AT LEAST, and if you have nothing positive for a date - don't go on one
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
People like this think they’re ALL positives for someone else. Absolutely massive egos. He probably thought OP was LUCKY to go on a date with an amazing dude like him.
Load More Replies... robin aldrich 1 year ago
Wow those "terrible" women insisting upon support for the babies that he helped make
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
If I had four kids with four different women and was living at home, I'd be re-evaluating my life.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
Musk has 11 with 3 different women. Nick Cannon has 12 with 6 women. Both of them should seriously take this advice.
Load More Replies... Joy Chapman 3 months ago
At the restaurant, the server brought back the credit card and said "Thank you, Mr. Robinson." I waited until the server left and said, "That's not the name you used on the dating site." He smiled and said, "Neither one is my real name. I'm hiding from Child Support Enforcement." I waited for him to laugh like it was a joke. It wasn't. I dug out my share for the meal, put it on the table, and walked out. Irresponsibility is not s**y.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
What a piece of trash, who sounds like he's already looking for more baby mamas
#15
"I expect my women to be shaved from below the eyebrows".
StrangeOne 1 year ago
"MY women"?! Just the possessive, objectifying language is a red flag, alone. But that would look very odd. Would that mean he expects women to have them have friar tuck style hair, too?
I_need_a_nap. 1 year ago
Technically, your eyelashes are below your eyebrows. Ladies, do y’all shave y’all’s eyelashes?
Familie Schmidt 1 year ago
Well I will from now on! Can't miss my chance on a catch like this wonderful specimen of a man...
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Spidercat 1 year ago
I'm confused... Does this dude want to date a mannequin or does he just have an issue with eyelashes?
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Incel's best chance of a date IS a mannequin, Spidercat. And he can keep it in his mom's basement with him, so it's handy.
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Colleen Glim 1 year ago
And I expect my men to have more than a single digit IQ but I don’t think either of us are getting what we want
TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Fine. I'll opt for the "Not one of your women" queue (particularly appropriate for a tribble)
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I’ll join you! Just think how strange a shaved wolf would look, after all! As an aside, as a tribble - AFAIK y’all don’t HAVE eyebrows, so would you interpret this guy’s “instructions” as “shave nothing” or “shave everything”? XD
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#16
I had a dude do nothing but monologue about his ex the entire date. He kept repeating the same “but I’m totally over her” line. It got so bad he even started showing me pictures and her social media (showing me that she was dating someone new now)
I kinda just realized this dude needed someone to talk to in that moment and I really had nothing better going on so f**k it, speak your truth man.
The date was 2.5h long.
Anagram margana 1 year ago
Oh, this is just sad. Hope he realizes he needs some professional help.
Debbie 1 year ago
Or maybe just some time to grief and heal? Setbacks, heartache, disappointments, loneliness, death and adversity is part of life. You should be able to manage those things on your own. Real life is not an instagram of facebook or tiktok story with only extremes. Yes ofcourse for extreme things you might could use some professional help, but otherwise, not every negative emotion or depressed thought or grief needs therapy right away.
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Charles McChristy 1 year ago
Poor guy. I hope you were upfront with him instead of letting him think he had a chance after 2.5 hours. Guys in that state of mind are not rational.
robin aldrich 1 year ago
Kudos to you for recognizing he wanted someone to talk to and he wasn't ready to move on and not getting huffy or angry or whatever but actually being a nice person... that's amazing
The Other Guest 1 year ago
I went out with a guy who was still in love with his ex. Had pictures of her in his apartment, talked about her constantly, he sang part of a song for me that was "his favorite, because it reminds me of her" (the only thing I remember about it is it featured the repeated line "you abandoned me"). He never caught on to the fact that I was being facetious/sarcastic when I started referring to her as "Joan the Perfect." He actually thought it a very fitting nickname for her.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
That was really sweet of her to listen to him for 2.5 hrs. He may need actual counselling though 😶
Antonia 1 year ago
Been there, done that. He even kept compairing me to his ex. She was wearing skirts, stockings and heels. I wore jeans. He was 5+ years divorced. Short date.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
This comment is confusing as hell. You met his ex on your date, and remember what she was wearing?
Load More Replies... #17
He was going on about a boys trip he took with his old college buddies, and I started tuning out. Then he said **"and my friend, Rob, was like 'wait until these b***hes figure out we're not choking them because they like it!' hahaha!"**
It took me way too long to fully comprehend what he was saying. Like dude, you're telling me you hate women (or your friend does, and it amuses you) on our first date. Are you aware I am in possession of a v*gina? That was the end of that.
Lena Flising 1 year ago
Which b***hes like what, exactly? If someone tried that, I’d probably claw his eyes out, because what guy doesn’t like that, right? (Normal guys don’t, of course, but this idiot was clearly abnormal.)
#18
She called her ex boyfriend "cheap" because he would only take her out to eat 2-3 times per week and cooked the other days.
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
She already is broke if she depends on someone else to pay for her meals or cook them
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BoredBranzino 1 year ago
I'd just be thrilled he cooked for me. My two favorite foods are: 1) Italian, and 2) Anything I don't have to cook.
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
So agree! I have days when I’d damn near eat dirt provided I didn’t have to cook it
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Frozengeckolover 1 year ago
He cooked for her 4-5 times a week? Is he still single? Send him over to my place!
#19
Had a date with a guy who interrupted me several times and then told me "I just really love interrupting you because you make this word face when I do." I ended the date about 5 minutes later.
Edit: I did mean "weird" not word 😅.
Damned_Cat 1 year ago
I dated a guy that just kept jumping from one subject to another. When I tried to build a conversation on a topic, he would go off on something else. Finally, he told me to stop interrupting him. He said that it took him a long time to think of stuff to talk about on a date and I just needed to let him run through it. I was out of there.
#20
We had a great time at bar 1 and proceeded to bar 2. Immediately arriving at bar 2 music was playing and people were dancing. She started making fun of a woman just dancing enjoying herself. She even got other peoples attention around us and pointed at the dancing lady. I skipped out when she wasn’t looking.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Heck, I would have just gone up and started dancing with the woman who was enjoying dancing. Leave that date in the dust.
#21
The date went really well. I was only looking for something casual and so was he. The chemistry and connection were good. The kiss goodbye was meh. The last thing he said on top of that sealed it for me: “great, it’ll be a few weeks but I’m sure I’ll be able to fit you in my rotation.”
I don’t expect to be the only one you see, but if your rotation is so big that it’ll be weeks before I’m *blessed* with an opening- I have a feeling that my enjoyment is not going to be the focus, and that’s a hard pass.
Spidercat 1 year ago
Ha... In other words he was not going to be blessed with your opening🙄.. I'm so sorry Pandas. I could not resist. I'll get my coat
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Ewww... You'd end up with a social disease if you stayed in the "rotation"
Heather Evans 1 year ago
This is a man-o-sphere/red pill guy. It's part of his life strategy to try and make you feel unimportant in his life in the hopes that you will put forth extra effort to garner his affection (which will always be mitigated and strategically offered because he's pathologically manipulative)
Teddy O'Malley 1 year ago
I briefly talked to a guy who was "too busy" to make time for me. We both worked during the week but were off on weekends. But his schedule was fully booked during the weekends. He ended up only seeming interested in sex (which he didn't really seem to have time for) through chats anyway, so I just deleted him.
#22
She went on an anti-immigrant rant in a crowded donut shop. She had her back to everyone, so she couldn’t see that people were looking at her. But I was facing them and saw everyone’s stares. Fun times.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago (edited)
This past Sunday, I had a guest loudly go off on the same anti lgbt+ rant, two times. He tried to "apologize" later (I think his wife made him cuz she could see how unhappy I was and how quickly I excused myself) and insisted he wasn't a bigot because he knows a gay woman. A coworker (one of the cooks) asked, "How do you deal with people?!" "I'm usually really high!" 😅
Vinnie 1 year ago
Now that begs the question: "Does the gay woman know you? And does she regret it?"
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 1 year ago
I recently had a chick ask me mid-date, "So where do you stand on mixing races?"
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I have no problem with betting on both a trifecta and the daily double.
Load More Replies... Shaunn Munn 1 year ago
I live in a home surrounded by immigrant families. I hope l'm as good a neighbor as they are.
#23
Went on a date with a guy once who had to share multiple times on the date about something Andrew Tate said about women and dating.
It’s like we couldn’t have a conversation about modern day dating without him quoting what this guy said about it.
1) Andrew Tate is terrible.
And 2) please formulate your own opinions rather than just adopting them all from someone else. I’m on a date with you, not Andrew Tate.
Ace 1 year ago
I think in many cases his dates' lives have indeed depended on it.
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Scott Rackley 1 year ago
Au contraire. For every sadist there is a masochist.
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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago (edited)
Ew, that is cringey af. Anyone who idolizes Andrew Tate has to be a total butt horn.
robin aldrich 1 year ago (edited)
I'm so glad things like this and other horrific examples listed here come out immediately on the first date so there's no time invested in a relationship where it would come as a complete shock. Not to mention might have led to violence
DrBronxx 1 year ago
I've stopped listening to a few podcasts when the hosts mentioned that they like Andrew Tate. One in particular was going on about the "injustices" against him, and that was a major red flag.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
oh no he can't rape women and actually gets punished? INJUSTICE!
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#24
I went on a date with a guy and brought him to an Italian resturaunt I really liked. It was a family owned operation and while not the most presentable, the food was amazing. Upon sitting down he remarks "Pfff, salt and pepper in shakers, ha, where are we, Waffle House?" basically insinuating that this place was trash based on this.
I know its a tiny thing but I just couldn't shake it that he would make such a comment after I said how much I liked the place.
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
Should have responded with: "No one's stopping you from leaving..."
Erika Suydam 6 months ago
You're free to go. The salt& pepper shakers are better company.
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Fire Singer 1 year ago
That's not a tiny thing. If he's that judgmental about a pretty standard restaurant staple item for whatever reason I can't even begin to imagine how insufferable he'd be going just about anywhere. He'd criticize every little thing, and then he'll criticize you most likely. Good to know early on so you can not commit to this!
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
Seriously! And forget about ever going to Waffle House with him!
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RagDollLali 1 year ago
Good to know salt and pepper shakers are considered white trash now, I'll be throwing mine out immediately /s
Lemaire 1 year ago
Only if it's himalyan pink rock salt and ethically sourced, organic peppercorns.
Load More Replies... Kaedyn Walsh 11 months ago
Those little paper packets is all I can think of lol
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
I wouldn't go on a second date with that guy either. He sounds like a spoiled snob.
Two Cat Studio 1 year ago
Hey, ''beartheminus!'' I can fully sympathize with you! I went on a date with a guy, inviting him a an Italian restaurant I loved, too. I ordered my favorite: Angle Hair Pasta with Marinara Sauce, Portobello Mushrooms & their wonderful Beef meatballs. He orders same without mushrooms. As soon as I started to take a bite, he yelled, "Oh no, another woman who doesn't know how to eat spaghetti," because I didn't twirl it onto my fork using a spoon! I know how to do it that way but it is not the ONLY way to eat spaghetti. I asked him to show me what he meant as if I didn't know what he was talking about. No second date with that guy.
Amy Force 5 months ago
i went out with a guy like this once. It didn't matter what it was, if I mentioned how I liked something, it's like he would go out of his way to make a derogatory comment about it. Finally, I was like, "DUDE, do you even LIKE ME??" It didn't last very long needless to say. *Absolute* D-bag.
#25
25M
Girl (26F) I went on a date with: "I work two days a week and it's soooooo draining (normal 8 hour days mind you). I just work to pay the minimum on my debt. I live with my parents otherwise, but they want me to find someone so I can move out."
She had zero ambition to do anything besides get a boyfriend to take care of her.
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
At least a lot of these red flaggers show their true colours on (mostly) the first date.
Ruth Watry 11 months ago
Response - too bad, I need somebody who can contribute $1K a month to rent and expenses.
michael naretto 1 year ago
Two days a week? If it was a part time job for some extra cash or if she was a full-time student, OK. I can dig it.
nm (he/him) 1 year ago
Declaring from the first moment that she's looking for someone to pay her expenses. What she will put in the deal? Her golden c**t?
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
Yea I had a GF like that she rotated, mums, then dad's place when both parents got tired, grandma, grandad. Never held a job, never tried. Shame because she was fun and interesting. She wanted to bea screen writer.
#26
Not the first date but the first time we had sex- I forgot I left my NuvaRing in so it hurt when he tried to penetrate me. I couldn’t understand why it was sore and was actually really worried, but he looked unbelievably smug and proud that his d**k had hurt me (maybe cause it was validating as to his size) and said “don’t worry, you’ll learn to get better at taking it”.
(My ability to take it is fine, for the record).
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I used the NuvaRing as birth control for years. It is not normal to have pain upon penetration with the NuvaRing. It’s possible OP didn’t have it inserted properly or that they have a condition that causes pain during penetration. NOT excusing the guy’s comments or actions in the slightest - just stating it isn’t “normal” for penetrative sex to hurt while using the NuvaRing. And since it’s a continuous-release hormonal form of BC, it’s not really recommended to remove it except for very short periods of time (it is designed to stay inside of you for 3 to 4 weeks.) It’s also translucent and VERY easy to lose :p I didn’t remove mine, but it, uh… let’s just say an internal form of the game “ring-toss” happened and the NuvaRing got stuck on the, ahem, “peg” and flew across the room when said ring-toss peg was withdrawn from the playing field. It was VERY difficult to find on light gray carpeting XD
R Dennis 1 year ago
Your story was better. I actually snorted in laughter.
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Parmeisan 1 year ago
I upvoted you for funny, but to be fair: I've heard those also hurt
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago (edited)
What's a NuvaRing? Ah, okay. Just googled it, and the NHS/UK also supply them. But if they hurt on penetration, why would you use them? Are you supposed to take them out before sex (which sounds like it would defeat the object? Weird). The arm implant is much better, and lasts for 3 years.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I used the NuvaRing for years and it never hurt to have sex with it in. My partner never even “felt”/noticed it. It is not normal to have pain upon penetration with the NuvaRing. It’s possible OP didn’t have it inserted properly or that they have a condition that causes pain during penetration.
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SkippyJohnJones29 6 months ago
NuvaRing is one of the worst forms of BC. It gets lost or comes out or implants on your insides and you have to have it surgically removed. You have to keep the unopened ones in the fridge, if you don't then they don't work. 0/10 do not recommend! (former pharmacy tech here)
#27
"I don't want to be in a relationship with a cripple".
I wear an ankle support which you would never know unless I showed you. I don't wear shorts as I'm a bit insecure about it. The only reason she found out was I loosened it off while we were sitting at the table as having it tightened up for long periods of time makes my ankle ache.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Better to know ahead of time - NOT to waste any more time!
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
I do love it when people show you who they are on a first date. It saves so much time and money, plus I usually get a drink out of it when telling my friends afterwards! First date with a bloke and he referred to someone as a very racist slur for someone who comes from India. There was no second date, however I did point out to him exactly why that was not appropriate, which he took surprisingly well and apologised.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Soooo, if someone has something temporary, like a broken leg or ankle, they are not date-worthy? Well, she will never date a lot of athletes. Those dudes get injuries more than the average person.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Looking down on someone due to disability or infirmity is a dealbreaker!
Michael Largey 1 year ago
“Gee, if I felt that way, I would never have asked you out in the first place, would I?”
#28
I told him I don't drink due to substance abuse issues in the past; he suggested we go back to his place and do shots.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
OMG, it is NOT that hard to be sensitive to someone that's had substance abuse problems. My ex is a recovering alcoholic, wanna know what we didn't have in the house? Wanna know what I didn't even do in front of her? I could have, but I chose to be accommodating, and it didn't hurt me ONE bit.
Marcus Lynch 1 year ago
Flu shots, shingles shots, measles shots, tetanus shots and COVID shots.
#29
"I was a suspect in the m*rder of my third wife. They never caught her m*rderer."
It was then that I realized he had positioned himself so that the exit was behind him, and the bathroom was behind me. I.e. I could not excuse myself to the bathroom and then make a run for it. I sat through the rest of the date and made sure I got safely home, then ghosted him. Only time I've ever ghosted anyone.
BossyHossy1 1 year ago
Or said window is high and tiny - like there isn't enough Crisco to get me thru that.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 1 year ago
Suspecting someone of having murdered a past partner and being unrepentant about it is a good enough reason to run for sure!
Dan Holden 1 year ago
Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong. But wouldn't the spouse be a suspect in almost any murder case where the victim was married and the reason for the crime is not immediately obvious? I can understand how this would make someone uncomfortable, but nothing in the statement "I was a suspect in the m*rder of my third wife. They never caught her m*rderer" implies that this person murdered their wife.
Load More Replies... Strings 1 year ago
This is why all my single female friends would let me know when they were going on a date: cavalry on call
Michelle C 1 year ago
Yup. I have a guy friend whom I’ve known for over a decade now, such that we’re basically siblings. He is as protective of me as I am of him and we will check in with each other in situations like this, especially since both of us have had some painful experiences…
Load More Replies... Regina Holt 1 year ago
If I drove there, I would take an uber home (or somewhere else). I would not want that guy to see me get into my car and follow me home.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
To be fair police will always suspect the husband, if the movies know anything about it. But third wife ? What happened to the others (there must have been two before her, and there may have been a forth, so better run.
#30
I asked what her hobbies were or what she liked to do for fun and she said "netflix and talking to boys". I was like, "oh i like netflix too.. what shows". She responded with, "i just like having something on and sitting there. I dont really have favorite shows, I dont like doing anything that makes me sweat, and I dont like 'hobbies'".
BYEEEEEEEEEEE. I noped out of that date in like 25 minutes. You like nothing? Not only am I the complete opposite of that but she admitted to not liking "liking" something to do. F**k outa here.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Probably social pressure from people who don't understand that not dating is also valid.
Load More Replies... RagDollLali 1 year ago
Not really sure what this picture of an orthodox jewish woman smiling at the camera really has to do with the story, BP needs to start working better on the pictures it pairs with its stories
Me Oh My (He/They) 1 year ago
Yes, but isn't she gorgeous! I quite like the picture. She has stories in her eyes.
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Katharina Sei. 1 year ago
Maybe she was suffering from a form of depression or other mental illness. No interest in anything is quite a symptoms of depression as far as I hear.
Heather Evans 1 year ago
I find this kind of relatable because I don't define activities that I like as hobbies nor to I delve deep into skill based hobbies - like playing piano or sculpting - so most of my life I have had a hard time answering the question, "what are your hobbies" Sometimes just being happy is a hobby, narrating your dog's weird expressions, painting rocks at dawn and taking road trips 5 times a year.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
BP chose an off-topic photo. This is from an Orthodox Jewish couple having a meal, as can be seen from https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-wearing-white-top-4038214/ and in particular the 'similar photos' which show many others clearly from the same photoshoot. I know it's not important/uncommon but it bothers me.
Mario Clouâtre 5 months ago
You still have her number? Doing nothing is my favorite hobby. For everything else I have a full time job.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago (edited)
Reminds me of a time I was sitting in a bar and this very handsome guy comes in. To my delight he sat down next to me, and I tried chatting. I asked if he had read a certain book. He said no. Then I tried asking if he had heard a certain piece of music and the answer again was no, and he never asked me anything at all. He was nice but soo boring. That was when I remembered I had to get to bed early because of an "exam" tomorrow, and got up and left early that night.
#31
Went out with a women who talked about herself the entire time. Like not a single question about me. I'm a decent conversationalist and want to get to know someone so I'll ask questions but apart from that I didn't really talk. The only person that seemed to ask me any questions was the server.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
So, that's enough talk about me, let's talk about you. What do you like the most about me?
Pheebs 1 year ago
Went out with a guy that refused to answer questions about himself, even though he kept telling me to ask questions - always responding with “that’s too personal” or “I don’t want to talk about that”. Your favorite color?? Hobbies you like?? I was also expected to carry all conversations, or be comfortable with him just staring at me silently. Last conversation, he said I had to talk constantly or I’d explode. So glad he went away. I think he was trying to use me for a psychology study (he wanted to study psych in school). Saw him a few years later, very much not studying psych.
Ronald 1 year ago
I had a kook who was beautiful. Long black thick hair, 5'8", slim and large breasts. Her friend fixed us up. We went to a nice small restaurant. She had a LARGE scotch and Soda. On sip, then she could not shut up. She tried to tell me her complete life: all 40,000 books, page by page. Three hours later, I dropped her off. heard from her friend she has not had a second date in decades
#32
This is me telling on myself. I don't date much, but my first time meeting a girl we were hitting a lull in the conversation. For some reason I tried to fill the lull with a discussion about what she wanted her wedding to be like. Maybe a little too soon for that discussion.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
I mean if you said 'her wedding' and not 'our wedding', it can be an interesting topic
Cat Houston 11 months ago
I don't like the assumption that she dreams of getting married. I certainly didn't.
#33
2 fun stories.
The first, I was talking about my experience going to Chicago; I said it was a cool place, but too easy to end up lost somewhere. The guy immediately said "Yeah there's too many black people there".
Then a different guy told me in the middle of the date, "you're overweight and you have bad posture, you should go back to the gym".
I said nope to both, although the first one still tried for a while to get me to go back out with him until I blocked his number.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Don't racists know that there are plenty of people who are not racist, and thus would be turned down for another date?
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
Usually they get really suprised, shocked or angry when someone disagrees with them. Makes me wonder if they were living under a rock or something.
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KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
That is what is knowing as "negging" - insult the girl to make her insecure, then pull some dumb move on her.
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago
What is it with this post? They hate black people and people who are differently abled. I still can't believe people say this stuff out loud.
Ronald 1 year ago
I am white, dated a pretty black woman. I really liked her. I was married and she knew it. On our third outing, I held her hand. She asked if I would ever marry a black woman. I said no, there are few Jewish ones. I am Jewish. She blew up! You would have sex with me, but not marry? I am not a whore. Last date, never saw her again
#34
He came 2 hours late (without any message in between). When he arrived he said "I"m late but that doesn't matter because I'm here now.".
Regina Holt 1 year ago
I might wait out of concern that something bad like an accident had happened. But as soon as you show up saying stuff like this, the accident was you agreeing on the date in the first place.
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Nizumi 1 year ago
20 minutes. That's how long you wait for someone. If there's no contact at all in that time, you're good to leave if you choose. Be polite - Send them a text that you waited 20 min without any sign of word from them and now you're done.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
And the answer: Yeah, it doesn't matter indeed, because I'm gone now -_-"
Suck it Trebek 1 year ago
Oh ...no, no mr. Fabulous. I'm here now doesn't erase the previous two hours you in considerately made me wait. And can I just say to the gal... never wait two hours for anyone ever.
#35
He was a lech the entire date. At the end he told me he'd pray for me. The next day I got a 4-page letter requesting I excuse his behavior, but after all, I'd encouraged it.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
Send him an 8-page letter declining to excuse his behavior instead, because after all, we all know you wouldn't be encouraging it -_-
antoinette maldari 1 year ago
Probably. They tend to blame women for their own bad behavior.
Load More Replies... #36
I had a bumble date a few years ago, and within literally 2 mins of meeting her, she started b*tching about her ex, referring to him as "c*nt-bucket".
Instant red flag. Leave the ex talk until at least date 3. I didn't wanna risk becoming a future C*ntBucket!
ArodTheHorrible 1 year ago
I only date girls that call their ex a twat-basket. Much more civilized
#37
Within the first few minutes "I've been going to AA meetings and have been able to limit myself to only six beers a night".
john doe 1 year ago
Hey, I gotta say I used to be an alcoholic after I got out of the Marines, I was drinking a 1.75 liter of cheap vodka a day, it's hard to stop something like that cold turkey. I did something similar and cut back slowly, switched to beers and then cut those down. Now I only drink maximum of 2 drinks 1 day a week, I'm super happy about it, but it was hard and took like 4 years to get there, I don't think AA really helps anyone more than just doing it alone, but if that guy was happy about it it probably means he has made some improvement to his drinking, you don't have to date him, just maybe understand that alcohol is harder to kick than opiates.
Load More Replies... Emma S 1 year ago (edited)
To be fair that is progress for many people. Even getting someone to drink beer instead of spirits can be a huge achievement. If they're alcohol dependant then they can't just stop drinking. However, it's probably not a good idea to begin a relationship with someone experiencing d**g and/or alcohol issues.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago (edited)
Progress looks different for different people. Going to meetings is a step in the right direction. That doesn't mean he's ready to date. He's got a lot of work to do on himself first.
#38
“Your a*s is nice, can I see it?”.
michael naretto 1 year ago
If he would have been patient and dated for a bit, he very well could have gotten to see it.
#39
I was on a date with a girl and she said she hated Nickelback. I didn't even wait to finish my fries or McNuggets. I just got up and called my mom to come get me.
Ace 1 year ago
I dunno. The "I called my mom" and the nuggets and fries implies a certain youthfulness, so maybe he just thinks they're old fuddie-duddies.
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Yordan Ivanov 4 months ago
so what? they had 1, maybe 2 decent songs and were over... "didn't even wait to finish my fries or McNuggets" ?!?! "got up and called my mom to come get me"?! what is that? a 14 year old????
#40
"I still live with my ex" ......... I'm out.
maka paka 1 year ago
This is more common than you think and can be for many reasons. I stayed with my ex on and off when i had some major money issues
The Dusty Rhino 1 year ago
I lived with my ex for over 20 years. We're still besties. Oh, and his wife loves me, and I love her.
Load More Replies... Momma Jess 1 year ago
Pffff, until last Thursday I still lived with my ex. She's still my best friend. Hell she and her son are coming to stay with me next week, if I start talking to someone and they can't handle her being in my life as my friend then they don't need to be in my life.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Well, I have a friend who is letting his ex-wife live in his house as a paying tenant. He is not happy about it, but it gives him money and she stays upstairs all of the time except to use the kitchen.
Suck it Trebek 1 year ago
I made this mistake. Thought I was being grown up and mature but it wasn't bearable. It was obviously difficult for them to operate as just roommates and I felt pushed onto her to be like best friends. I'm not a jealous person but this was more than I could handle. She was constantly there, always answering the phone and at the end of the day I really didn't like her. They al so shared a car and I had to work around "their" schedule. Should've got out sooner but like I said I thought I was being a mature adult.
#41
He insisted on ordering my food for me and got it wrong.
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
Ugh, don't like that at all. Like i don't have an opinion or he just don't care.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
I would have just told the server to ignore his choice for you and order what yiou want, or just walk away.
#42
Not said to me, but the fact that he took a casual phone call from his dad and talked to him for 10 minutes about nothing important while I just sat there nursing my beer and feeling awkward as f**k. He probably thought it made him seem super laid back lol.
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
Wow, ok. Maybe there is more to the story this person didn't put, or wasn't told. Maybe they only get to talk to their dad at certain times or very rarely. I think if he apologized and explained, then it would be fine. Now if he was doing it just because and didn't say anything about it then yea, I would be pissed.
#43
“I cycle through my friend groups about once every three weeks when they get boring.” Ok. Cool. So you’ll bring in a new filly when you’re bored of me.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Uh, OP referred to herself/other women as “fillies”? That feels really… odd to me, for some reason.
Strings 1 year ago
Maybe she was just horsing around? Sorry, I'll see myself out
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#44
He told me that he lost his drivers license for driving drunk. Instant nope.
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
Huge deal breaker. My bff was killed by a drunk driver. You're an inconsiderate a*****e, bye.
Niki A 1 year ago
To be fair on this one, sometimes that snaps people into behaving more responsibly. It took a non-fatal accident for my SO to get the drift.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
The issue (for me at least), is that there is no space in my head where drink driving is acceptable. That behaviour is in total conflict with my moral code. Great if the ban changes their future behaviour, but they’ve demonstrated that we’re not compatible.
Load More Replies... #45
Lunch date asked me what I’d do if I had a million dollars - stated status qua stuff (pay off debt, invest..) I asked him what would he do and his reply was
“I’d buy my mother a house.”
I replied “wow, that is very kind.”
He said “Nah, I hate my mother & if I buy her a home maybe she will then stay the f**k out of my life.”.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
I see nothing wrong with his idea. But I come from a very disfunctional family.
Lene 1 year ago
Me, too. I thought that the guy would say something like "yeah, I'll buy her a house somewhere at the other side of the country" or "... at least 2500km away" or something. I am from a dysfunctional family as well and I have often thought about this house-stuff for my mum... so I could easier avoid contact. Lol.
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Michelle C 1 year ago
I’d be asking why he hates his mom, though. What if she was abusive? If he didn’t have a legitimate reason for wanting low to no contact, I’d walk away.
#46
This guy took me to his house and walked me through it, explaining that everying was mine, I could do anything I wanted, and he could provide it all.
#47
Something I said on a first date. I had a nightmare the night before and it was on my mind still so I talked about it on my first date with this chick. Bad idea. Never heard from her again.
Catastrophe and cats 1 year ago
OP is a lobster butcher and his nightmare was where the lobsters had been switched. For cut animals.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago
That's just cold. Why can't people be able to relate to each other like we're all human?
Ace 1 year ago
Telling people your dreams is rarely a good idea, even if you think you can remember the details they're not going ro sound like they felt to you. Nightmares really should stay in your head.
Load More Replies... #48
Not what he said, what he did. Took out his teeth and put it on a napkin to eat his steak. When I looked horrified, he said, “m*th f***s ya teeth up, but I’m thankful I’m clean now.”
Brother, I’m thankful you are too, but I am a vain and terrible person and that’s why I never called you back. I have always wished nothing but love and success in my heart. I’m sorry.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I can understand the shock, but I'm sure everyone has some flaw that would horrify someone else. My current bf doesn't even have his false teeth anymore since before we got together. The first time I saw his barely toothed grin I almost shrieked. But then I thought about the things I'm self-conscious about that people have judged me for. It doesn't feel good at all. So, I gave him a chance. We've been together for 6 years and I don't really notice his lack of teeth as much.
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
My husband barely had any teeth when we first started dating, which I noticed but he explained why. He had gotten into a bad accident and lost most of them. He had been in the process of getting them fixed and lost insurance a while before. He did get the rest all pulled a few months after we got together and he didn't want me to see him till he got his false teeth, which would have been a month. I told him I didn't care and still wanted to see him. We've been together 7 years, married for 5.
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Peter Trudell Jr 1 year ago
as a denture wearer, why do you take your teeth OUT to eat a steak??? Don't you... like... CHEW?
Deeelite 1 year ago
I think it was the lack of decryption and just ploping them on the table. Also, yes, if it was false teeth due to an accident - fine. Due to m*th? I'm out too.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah, you are a terrible person, OP. What if it wasn’t meth, but an accident or illness that damaged his teeth? Would you have been more “sympathetic”, or is a guy’s appearance all that matters to you? BTW - “vain” means you’ve got an overblown sense of your OWN appearance. It has nothing to do with others’ appearance. (I know OP isn’t going to see my comment; I’m speaking rhetorically “to” them.)
RagDollLali 1 year ago
The lack of teeth wouldn't be a problem for me, but pulling them out and just setting them down on the table like that without warning, on a first date especially, would definitely throw me off. Agreed that the "vain" comment just makes OP seem like an a*s though!
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#49
For me its rarely about what is said, more about what ***isn't*** said. I can't believe how stupid hard it is to find people who know how to carry on a conversation without me doing all the work. Like when two of these people meet do they just blankly stare at each other till they bang? Boring.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
If you can be comfortable with each other in silence, nothing wrong with that. It's draining to feel like you have to entertain company every second you're together.
Kangaroo 1 year ago
True, but that’s a bit of a different situation than OP’s describing
Load More Replies... Suck it Trebek 1 year ago
I'm terrible at small talk. So one my first date with the man who would become my husband I made a bunch of questions. Cut them up individually and put them in a container so that if the conversation lulled I'd have one of us pick a question. It also had an ulterior motive. I needed to make sure he was cool with how quirky I am. The questions were a hit. He loved them and we were interacting so well together that I even brought out some of the "blue" cards to start to see if we could be compatible that way too. He loved the idea and that's when I knew he was something special. He keeps the cup of questions in his nightstand to this day.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
It'd be funny if OP was the girl who couldn't stop talking about herself from above.
detective miller's hat 1 year ago
Reminds me of the last guy I dated. You could have a better conversation with a brick.
liam newton-harding 1 year ago
You seem to be the only common denominator is all these “bad dates”.
Charles McChristy 1 year ago
You obviously haven't dated in the past 10 years.
Load More Replies... Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
Omg. I met this guy on POF once. We hit it off talking online and through texts, but when we met in person, crickets. I tried asking questions and talking, but he was just so shy. It sucked cause he was a nice guy. I get being shy, but at least try to talk some when you meet up to get to know each other.
#50
"This is my aunt and nephew"
She brought her aunt and nephew on our first date.
I'm like cool whatever. Had a few margs and some Mexican food. I payed for everyone of course.
I've never seen a chick clean a plate like that on a date.
I f****d the aunt that night.
What do you think ?
BookFanatic 1 year ago
First date was going very well. He showed me a picture of his dog and I cooed over it and said what a sweet puppy-dog. Showed him a picture of my two cats and he said "I don't like cats, they can burn in Hell as far as I'm concerned." This date is over, as far as I'm concerned.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
But...that's...like...IS HE TRYING TO BE A CARTOON SUPERVILLAIN OR SOMETHING?
Load More Replies... Myoviridae 1 year ago
I actually appreciate when people show me they are a horrible person up front. Saves so much time and emotional investment.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
"When somebody shows you who they really are, believe them"... This saying I've heard before, but finally learned how to recognize and apply to real life. That and "you should give people a second chance, but never give them a third"
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Roberta Surprenant 1 year ago
With 22 years of marriage (and counting), glad I'm out of the dating scene!.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
Tinder date, She picked bar. When we where leaving she went to the WC I got chatting with the owner who was gay. When she came out she said..why where you chatting with that fagg****
BookFanatic 1 year ago
First date was going very well. He showed me a picture of his dog and I cooed over it and said what a sweet puppy-dog. Showed him a picture of my two cats and he said "I don't like cats, they can burn in Hell as far as I'm concerned." This date is over, as far as I'm concerned.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
But...that's...like...IS HE TRYING TO BE A CARTOON SUPERVILLAIN OR SOMETHING?
Load More Replies... Myoviridae 1 year ago
I actually appreciate when people show me they are a horrible person up front. Saves so much time and emotional investment.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
"When somebody shows you who they really are, believe them"... This saying I've heard before, but finally learned how to recognize and apply to real life. That and "you should give people a second chance, but never give them a third"
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 1 year ago
With 22 years of marriage (and counting), glad I'm out of the dating scene!.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
Tinder date, She picked bar. When we where leaving she went to the WC I got chatting with the owner who was gay. When she came out she said..why where you chatting with that fagg****
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