30 Times Friendships Ended Because People Realized They Were Fake, Shared By Folks Online
Finding friends can be really hard as at the beginning, you’re complete strangers and people can portray themselves to be completely opposite of what they actually are and you wouldn’t even know. Only after some time, you may notice some traits that you don’t agree with and that you haven’t noticed before.
And maybe those traits come through because that person is not really your friend and was just pretending to be, but because they can’t pretend forever, their deception is starting to be clear. People will learn that their so-called friends were fake all along and it is always very hurtful when a person you felt close with doesn’t really have a connection with you.
There is a subreddit in which people came to tell their stories of when they found out that their friends were actually fake. Reddit user VexAndStuff asked on AskReddit “When did you realize your 'friends' were actually fake friends?” and the thread was upvoted 67k times with almost 20k people joining in with their hurtful realizations. At least they know the truth now.
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Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we're used to have this "group chat" where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things. After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let's just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they're talking smack behind his back. And the "unofficial leader" of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.
I know what it feels to be left out, I experienced that in Middle school and it's really awful. I stopped hanging out with them and I started hanging out with Randy. He's quite eccentric but a very good person at heart. We've been friends for more than 6 years, and he still got my back
Happened to me on my 21st birthday- all my "friends" made up excuses why they couldn't come. Then the 3 friends that did met some guys and we went back to their house and awkwardly sat around.
Happened again for my 25th birthday- I had moved across the country and found new friends, but they all bailed at the last minute. I called my roommate at the time who came out when he got off work, and he called some of his friends who came out and I had the best night ever. Those guys are now my real friends, and I married that roommate
I was at a party, really depressed after a bad breakup and got drunk. My abusive ex showed up, caught me somewhere alone and hit me. I begged several friends for help since I was too drunk to drive home alone and they ignored me. My ex best friend was there, completely sober and refused to drive home with me because she didn't believe he would do that. There's no Uber or anything in my country btw. The whole thing escalated, one guy I didn't know ended up finding me alone in a field crying and throwing up, brought me back to the house, build a bed out of blankets for me and sat guard all night to make sure my ex wouldn't do anything again.
When I traded in my truck for a smaller more eco friendly vehicle. Communication plummeted now that i can’t haul furniture around, assist with moving as much, dispose of garbage.. etc.
Shortly realized after quitting cocaine that a majority of my "friends" only kept me around so they could feel better about their own cocaine habits.
I was heavily addicted and setting myself down a path I never once thought I could or would take. Stopped for my own benefit and health, and was treated like a selfish piece of s*** for doing so. The next months ensued and not one of them checked in to see how I was doing, but instead my high school best friend started sleeping with my ex highschool girlfriend (I was with her for 5 years and actually thought I was going to marry her at one point) who dumped me for doing cocaine and is now an honorary member of the group I was cast out of.
Replaced with the person who partially fueled my substance abuse, who dumped me for substance abuse, by the group that didn't like me stopping my substance abuse, so they could all abuse substances together.
It's now been over a year since I quit, and honestly couldnt be happier. Got rid of a cocaine addiction and about 1000lbs of dead weight. But it was an eye opener to say the least.
Middle school. I hung out with a group who treated me like dog s***. I was always the one getting made fun of, the group punching bag, that sort of thing. I hung out with them because they were the only "friends" I had. Then I woke up one day and realized they all sucked. So at lunch I went up to them, told them they were all d*** heads. I got laughed at, but I went and sat alone. I was alone all the way until junior year of high school when I told my parents that the big city wasn't for me. So my amazing parents sacrificed everything and moved up to Montana. I showed up to a small school and didn't know a soul. I decided to join the football team. That was the best choice I ever made. I met all new friends, who I'm still friends with 15 years later.
First of all I’d like to say good for you for standing up for yourself, that’s a hard thing to do, especially at that age! Secondly I would like to thank your parents and I hope that you let them know how much they mean to you every single day they’re alive not only did they do you a solid by moving but they basically picked up and moved everything to keep you safe and sane. Not a lot of parents would do that.
I was invited to the bachelorette party for one of the friends in this group. While at the party, I figured out that I was the only person not invited to the wedding. I had been invited to the party because they needed another person to chip in for expenses.
When my phone got stolen and I lost their phone numbers. Mine stayed the same, but we just never talked again.
My old phone's battery did that thing they do, and the store couldn't get my old info to copy over. I put a notice to my Facebook friends ( a limited circle) that I lost my contacts. That was over a year ago, still haven't heard from anyone.
Went to pick up my xbox 360 a friend was borrowing, and our whole group of friends were there. They had spent the entire day playing games with snacks and pizza, and I had not been invited. And now I was in the situation of being the douche who takes the ball home and ruins the fun for everyone. I took my xbox and never spoke to anyone in that group again.
When I got sober. 7 months today!
The group made plans to meet and hang out. I was getting ready in the salon. A couple of friends had to back out for some reason. The other friend then made excuses of his own, and I could tell. I tried cajoling him and offer ways for him to go but he basically decided to cancel the entire group meet up.
It was my birthday.
When I realized I was the one always calling. Then I stopped and "friends" disappeared.
I get what you mean / feel. But in my experiences, friendships vary in inertia. With some friends, i am the one calling. With some other, they are the one calling. It is a dynamic, it is not necesarilly bad. In the long term, if you have people you value, it is worth the effort.
When you try to open up and try to share a genuine conversation about something going on in your life and all they can do it crack jokes and try to get you to go out drinking with them. Made me realize how surface level many “friendships” really are.
Then you have the opposite of that - 3 guys I’ve known since I was a freshman in high school. Been friends for over 15 years. Have stayed in touch through all of us getting married, having kids, and moving to completely separate areas or the country. Yet whenever we’re within an hour of each other we always make a point to get breakfast and catch up (this usually turns into 3+ hour conversations). This may only happen once or twice a year, but I consider those guys my best friends. That’s real friendship and I’m fortunate to have them.
Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but i'm the only one not in it
This was quite a few years ago. My ex and I were really friendly with another couple. Did a ton of stuff together. Then they moved (not far) and fairly shortly after my ex and I separated. They hung out with me for a few months but then stopped calling.
A few years later, I ran into both of them at a race (an ultramarathon) and they both pretended like they didn't know me. That was actually a really painful moment.
One friend stopped replying to my texts right after we graduated from college. Like the same week we graduated. So... I was pretty much just a study buddy that they kept close to keep me helping them.
When I went through a divorce and was down to $700...most difficult period and weeded out all those who “friended” me for my generosity because I was well settled. Started over and have like 2 true good friends.
Two true good friends is more than adequate. You are luck to have them. Forget the jerks.
They would invite each other to places in front of me and not include me in the slightest. When I ditched them they didn't know how to take it, lol.
No offence but why did they care if they weren't nice to you anyway
When I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, the guy I thought had been my best friend of 3 years gave me 2 weeks before saying "is it my turn, yet?" F*****g garbage.
I wouldn't say I have fake friends but I am definitely the periphery friend. The majority of the time if there isn't enough tickets or space in the car for everyone to go do something, I'm the one who gets cut out. It doesn't bother me much but I wish they would be more mindful when talking to me about "things we have done." "Remember when we went to see XXX? Wasn't that fun?" Well, no because I wasn't invited. In those situations it usually gets awkward or they say "Hey, we would have invited you if we had the tickets, space, etc."
Find friends that appreciate you. Those are using you for laughs. Cruel and then some.
Like I suspect for a lot of people, getting divorced was a real eye opener. I started with a core group of close friends who had all met in our late teens/early twenties and one of them introduced me to the woman who I would ultimately marry. Well into our 40s they were what I considered to be my family but when the divorce happened things spiralled.
My best friend stuck with me, but his wife was the one who orchestrated things in our group and she was best friends with my ex. I was expecting the two of them to insulate for a while and I knew it was painful for my ex to be around me, so it was no surprise when I stopped getting invitations to cook outs etc..
But then I noticed that the other members of the group were also avoiding/ignoring me. I'd see on facebook that one of them came into my town to go to a concert for a band that they knew I liked and hadn't so much as texted. Birthdays rolled around and nobody would call. When my parents both died within a few months of each other and not a one of them reached out I knew where I stood.
My best friend needs to get credit though. Alone from all of them he made a consistent effort to stay in touch and see me regularly. He was there when my parents died and through everything else even though his wife clearly disapproved. I think finally after this nonsense had been going on for several years he told her how ridiculous it all seemed and that entire friend group tried to reconcile. I made it clear right from the start that there was no guarantee that I'd ever find space for them in my life again.
This is all very apropos right now because they are having their first big post-covid party in a couple weeks and I'm invited. People are coming in from all over the country and the only one I give a s*** about seeing is my buddy.
This friend, I'll call her Mary, had kids the same age as mine. We got together for play dates pretty often and our kids would sleep over at each others' houses for weekends. I liked Mary. We would often visit and talk while our kids were playing. One weekend, her kids had stayed at my house. The older one called her mom to see when she was coming to pick her up. I was in the room, and the kid put the phone on speaker for some reason. Mary told the kid what time she would be there and added, "You had better be waiting outside. If I have to go in and spend the next hour talking to rivertam, I'm going to be really pissed."
We didn't spend much time together after that.
Here's what happened after I overheard my friend say that to her child:
I simply stopped initiating contact and wasn't as available to do stuff for her. When we dropped off or picked up the kids, I smiled and waved. I let the kids make the plans for play dates. I no longer had time to help her with her garden or watch her kids while she went out with another friend (they were into long distance running, which is not my cup of tea). She never contacted me unless she wanted something. This had always been true, but I had not realized it. The "friendship" eventually fizzled out on its own. So, I guess it had never been much of a friendship to begin with. I just didn't realize it until she opened my eyes.
When I was in school, all my friends and I did different A levels.
Despite us all having different lessons to each other, they would wait for each other to go to lunch together, but they would always always forget me. Like I'd come out and they wouldn't be there, so I'd have lunch by myself.
And then they'd come back and tell me they thought I was with them.
I was the only one they didn't wait for.
I've only seen one of them since we left school. She had forgotten my name.
So that sucked.
You need to find some solid people in your life don’t be satisfied with crumbs you’re worth more than that. It’s obvious that you’re intelligent and that you care about others. Go find a passion that you’re interested in some sort of hobby and go meet people with the same likes that you do or go volunteer because it’s a good way to meet new people in a non-threatening environment
When they ghosted me after 17 years of close friendship. I still have no idea what I did wrong, and for extra salt in the wound, it was right after I spent a week eating instant noodles because I donated every cent I had to one of them for her cancer treatment GoFundMe.
Hurt more than any relationship breakup.
Edit: for all those asking, yes she definitely has cancer, no she didn't die, and given that it was more than 1 person who ghosted me and that the cancer friend still maintains an active social life with everyone else but me, it's probably not for reasons related to her ordeal.
One "friend" at university tried to steal my Animation coursework, claim it as his own and get me kicked out for stealing his work.
However I had help setting things up by one of my Tutors/Professors, for me to film the coursework, so he instead got expelled and blacklisted from the University and any other University in the UK doing the same subject (The people running all the Animation degrees in every University in the UK, back then, knew each other and talked to each other regularly as it a small community. I think there were less than half a dozen Universities with Animation degrees back then)
This was 20ish years ago now.
Once high school ended, I heard about all the rumors they made up about me.
For me it was when I got in some deep trouble and they all just cast me aside without even giving it a second thought, I realized this when I invited all of them to go to the movies with me and they all said they couldn’t go, I then found out through one of them that they went to see that movie the same day and when I asked then why they didn’t tell me they were going they said: “We just wanted to go together” s*** broke my heart
After my divorce. We were couples friends not individually.
Be careful how much you judge people that let you down. Odds are that in someone else's live story, you are the asshole, even if you don't realize it and didn't really mean to be.
I've been the asshole. One of my friends tells me off about once a year. We're still friends, in part because I apologize and put the bad behaviour on the no-no list. The rest comes down to sharing a sense of humour and being there.
Load More Replies...Just before I deactivated facebook I put a post up every couple of days telling everyone to PM me of you want to keep in contact. Out of 70+ people, I had approx 8 people that I exchanged numbers with. Out of the 8, I keep in contact with one. I was the only one that made any effort with the others but wasn't reciprocated so I just stopped. The end.
For fb,i think that 8 is pretty good,especially if you are introverted like me.Don't feel bad
Load More Replies...I cut out the person who had been my "best friend" since grade school when I was 21 because when I called her to tell her I was engaged to the love of my life and asked her to be my maid of honor she replied "If you really get married this time." She was referring to the fact that I had been quasi-engaged to my previous long term boyfriend who had been so mentally and physically abusive that I did not date anyone for several years after we broke up. The fact that she couldn't be happy for me and had to bring up the darkest time in my life just shattered me. My sisters were dual matrons of honor, it was a beautiful wedding where I married my best friend, I have been married over 28 years, I have wonderful people in my life now and the rest is history.
I’m glad your story has such a happy ending! 💜
Load More Replies...When in high school I had a group of friends that were the "it" girls in school. We hung out every day. Wore the same kind of clothes, etc. I was the one who walked away. They had asked me where I liked to shop. As an art person I said a leather store I knew where you could get supplies and finished items like purses. They went with me to check it out. When we got home they emptied their pockets and purses on the bed of all the stuff they had stolen. Nothing but a bunch of thieves. That is when I walked away. My parents divorced then and we moved into town. They tried to get in touch with me but I declined involvement. Thing is you move on when you have life changes. Change schools, divorce, graduate, change jobs... those people were your friends while it lasted. You then have the chance to find new friends. Rarely do you keep the same friends your whole life. Bloom where you are planted. Be open and caring to making new ones. If you do have lifelong ones count it as a rare blessing.
Good idea to walk away. Apart from the moral issues, they could have caused you legal problems.
Load More Replies...I never had friends in school and to this day I still don't have friends and from reading this I'm kind of glad.
No these are just bad friends. Good friends or even just ok friends are great to have, so go make some!
Load More Replies...My friend said I was a simp cause I have friends who are girls. Walked away from him and hung out with my real friends
When I got sucked out to sea while cliff jumping in Jamaica. I finally swam back to shore and had to climb back up the rocks to get out of the water. I was laying panting on the ground and my "friends" came over with fresh drinks. They hadn't even bothered asking anyone for help when I didn't resurface. I was gone for over 30 minutes.
Wow, wow, wow. That is about worse than all these stories combined! Glad you're okay and hope you found some better friends! Just wow....
Load More Replies...Well friends come and go. Someone said it doesn't make them a bad person. It just means their story/part in your life is over.
Yeah,not everyone is automatically a jerk...People separate for various reasons,don't always has to be some bad person involved
Load More Replies...I’ve known several people ever since college 40 years ago. I’ve stayed in touch with them because I’ve always taken the initiative to contact them. One day my gf asked what would happen if I stopped contacting them. Would they make the effort to check on my well being? We decided to find out. Its been over five years & I haven’t heard a single word from any of them. I guess you’re never too old to learn. But glad to know the truth.
It dawned on me just this past week that if I moved from the town I live in without telling anyone, no one would notice. Edit: I do have friends, lifelong, who live in other states. We call and visit regularly.
Load More Replies..."Friends from work". Your coworkers are not your friends. Learned that hard way. Same as my "college buddies" who disappeared from my life as soon as we graduated, as soon as I changed the job, my "friends" coworkers ditched me completely. At current job I didn't even try and now everyone hates me because they think I am conceited and think too much of me to hang out with them. I just don't want to be hurt anymore. I want at least one friend, but real, who will not be with me just because we work desk to desk and it's convenient.
This happened to me when I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 45. People in my life I would have sworn would never leave my side disappeared in an instant. It's like they thought my cancer was contagious. A select few stood by me. If you want to know who your real friends are, they're the ones who will hold your hair while you vomit in a trash can after that first chemo treatment, the one's who will sit at the hospital with you for 11 hours during a chemo treatment, and will make time to drive you to 3 months of Monday through Friday radiation treatments because you can't drive yourself because it's painful to move because your skin is peeling off in big weepy patches. When I found a new job, I was able to hire this friend for my team, which provided the income she and her husband needed to buy their first home.
When you let others treat you badly it let’s them know it’s ok to do it. It’s better to be alone by yourself than alone in company
Got cancer. Went through 8 months of treatment and two years follow up. A few who I thought were good friends ghosted me, maybe made one call or sent a short text. Fortunately others were with me through all of it.
Same. One said they'd visit me in hospital but never did and we haven't really spoken since. Another one just disappeared.
Load More Replies...A few back-up information, for a better understanding: In the middle of 2000 my father died of cancer. About 6 months later, my mother also died of cancer. 6 months after my mother died, my husband and I split. Turns out he had a new girlfriend for some time ... which my sons told me, after they came back from a fathers weekend. I kind of expected something like that. What I didn't expect however, was that I would gradually lose all of "our friends" in a span of another 6 month. At some point, none of them came by anymore, or even called. I was probably not very enjoyable ... after these one and a half "entertaining" years.
I can relate to this. About a year and a half after I had been in a coma for a month and almost died I was starting to repair and rebuild my life. I had spent two stretches in a nursing home during this year and a half. Once for a little over two months and once for nine months. I had broken up with my partner of six years. I was finally doing better though. I had just gotten a new apartment. I was able to walk and swim again. Progress was definitely being made. Out of the blue one day my best friend called me up and told me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I was struck dumb. I hadn't really been bothering her because she had a new boyfriend and was in that honeymoon phase so when she called I don't think we had spoken for about two weeks. I asked her why and if she maybe just wanted to take a break. She said no to the break idea and that I just "wasn't fun" anymore. I think I said if you had been through this, you wouldn't be much fun either. Good riddance.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of my old friend, Bill. Not a friend, but a girlfriend. He really loved her. She broke up with him. Then a few months later, she wanted to get back together and he was thrilled. She had broken her leg, and he was driving her around. Then on his birthday, he get laid off. Goes home and that night, she broke it off with him (knowing he had just gotten laid off on his birthday). She straight up told him that she only got back together with him so he'd drive her while her leg was in a cast. But the cast was off now. I will hate that woman until the day I die.
Do what I did to avoid losing friends....just don't have any! I prefer acquaintances as there's less pressure to meet any unknown expectations.
Looking at these through my own experiences with people I thought were friends and even though it seems universal, it still makes me sad. I used to think 'friends' meant something. It was a big deal to call someone a friend but now I have none because the ones I thought truly were either rejected me or we've just drifted apart. In the decades since graduation, the people (mostly coworkers) who I've come close to calling friends have left so now it's like ... eh what's the point getting to know anyone. Even today, someone who I thought was a good worker and didn't mind being around I find out is leaving. And now, I've reached an age where I feel it's getting impossible to start new friendships.
This is very sad. I understand but it doesn't make it less sad to hear. I hope that you are at least open to the possibility.
Load More Replies...in the US & other countries where northern European culture is the dominant culture, friends are sort of treated like socks. Think about it: you buy a pair of socks to meet a need like matching the color of your dress slacks or the sport you are playing. The same way, people enter into friendships based on current needs. When the sock gets old, the elastic fails so it won't stay up, it fades so much so it looks pathetic, or the original need goes away, it gets thrown out. The same way, people get rid of their "friends" when the relationship gets old, fades, or the original need goes away. Yes, if you wear high top boots, you can use them for boot socks. The same way, some friendships continue long-term but are never seen again publicly. This includes all long distance relationships. Folks, wise up: you are dealing with human beings here with souls, not cheap fashion accessories. Treat people like human beings for a change, okay? Don't throw away a true friend since they are so rare. You may only have one or two genuine friends in your lifetime, so cherish them. Don't end a genuine positive relationship for a frivolous reason. Forgive and forget if they hurt you, okay?
Yeah, I've been the giver and receiver in this situation. Not sure why it occurred in either case, perhaps always looking for something better to come along without realizing how good you have it at that moment. At this time in my life, my one and only friend is my husband, I moved to his state knowing no one and while I do have work friends, I don't socialize with them outside and would not want to. I am very uncomfortable in large group settings and prefer to be close to home. I know my previous friendships have affected me, making me feel self conscious and have no confidence in creating relationships.
It was my family for me, and it sucked. My father and I never had a good relationship, and when I was leaving the state, he refused to allow me to keep and pay for the car he had cosigned on. He shared his side with the rest of my family and they all turned their backs on me. On her deathbed, my mom asked my side of the story. After she heard my truth, she asked why I had never told them the evil s**t my dad did to me. The only response I had was "because you never asked, you all just assumed it was all my fault". She cried and apologized but I lost my family at age 25 thanks to my dad the narcissist.
A non-crazy parent would never want his child alienated from the rest of the family. Family members with decency would ask for your side before turning their backs on you.
Load More Replies...My mothers friends left her while she was divorcing my abusive dad. They sided with him and not me. That was recently.
I jokingly said to a woman I considered my closest friend that when we get old, if we're not married or something, that we should get a house together. She laughed and said, "You know I couldn't live with you." I didn't know. I didn't end our 'friendship,' but her comment hung over like a cloud until years later, I cut her loose. Why? Because she and her husband moved to my state, 3 1/2 hours away, lived here for 10 years and never once invited me to her house or accepted an invitation to mine, or even agree to meet halfway. Then when they decided to leave the state, she called out the blue to announce that she and hubby were going to stop by before they hit the road. I asked her why and told her not to bother. We've not spoken since.
I often think it would be nice to have at least one friend to talk to and do things with, but I've learned the lesson well over the last 50 years that in most cases the idea of a friend is an illusion. I would much rather be alone than be used over and over by people that can't even find the time to text just to say hello.
I decided I didn't want to go out with the aim to 'get drunk' anymore, I wanted to pace myself instead. I was told I was boring and got dumped by most of my friends o.o
As in a once popular, but now very old Dutch song (80s): friendship is an illusion, a packet of rust with a thin layer of chrome.
Ok, I need to share: ~16yo, my best friend (a little bit older) just ghosted me. No reason, no explanation. One of the biggest trauma in my life. ~few years ago I was struggling with anorexia, and one evening, out with my crush I drank too much (I was drunk because anorexia, wasn't able to handle my "normal" amount of alcohol) and he told me he had a girlfriend. I just remember I left, crying, and figured out I was wayyyy too drunk. I grabbed a random guy near subway and told him "man, I don't feel good. Can you help me please? I need to go back home" and he just brought me home, safe !! Faith in humanity restored.
Girl, that should be faith in luck. You were lucky.
Load More Replies...was told they were only friends with me because they thought i had Downs, im fat and wear glasses. fun times
They were gaslighting you; they didn't think you had Downs. Mean, mean people and BTW half my country is fat and wears glasses:-)
Load More Replies...Had a few ... I moved a lot as a kid and got attached to the wrong people : - Stopped talking to me when i graduated and not her (we were in our mid 20's) - Basically told my bf (not even to my face) i was unreliable and someone you can't talk seriously because i'm the clown during parties (i don't party much so i relieve pressure), but they'd never engage in serious talks in or out of party - She used me for cash, booze and try to avoid me confessing to my crush so she could have a backup lover (she was in a shady relationship and liked my crush) - She constantly belittle me, the last straw was when she insulted me for wanting to recontact my family, for buying a brand new ikea couch (mass produced so many people have it so makes me having no personnality...); for being confident in my body even though i was a bit overweight at the time... ... And so on...
When I was twenty, my “friends” found out that I was a virgin, and after that they stopped giving me the time of day. It’s one of the reasons I feel so hesitant to trust women again.
This girl and I were 'best friends' in primary school for 4 years, but then the summer holidays after Year 6 came along and she began cyberbullying me.
My list of fake friends 1. Best friend started hanging out with first wife and her girlfriend while we were still married and new that they were moving in together 2. When I was in junior high I found out my "friends" only hung out with me to get closer to my brother 3. When a "friend" RSVP'd to my wedding (2nd marriage) but told me that morning she could not make it because a friend was visiting from out of town (out of town was 20 minutes away) 4. When a friend rooted against my team during superbowl for a team she has always hated-this is a silly one but I was very annoyed but we are still friends i just dont watch football with her any more :) 5. When a person kept making comments about me being bi-racial but mostly saying shitty things about me being half white and always referring to everything I did as some white girl s**t My list can go probably on and on but now I have about 3 close friends, which works for me.
I remember back in Grade 6, I was (supposedly) the second most popular in my class (as voted by the class). Everyone hung out with me, played games with me, and even just chilled with me. My cousin/best friend was always with me, and we were pretty close. But this story has 2 bad endings in one, first: My cousin/best friend was very manipulative. She would always make me feel guilty and make me do everything for her. I invited her to my house almost every day, and she accepted. But when she got to my house, she would just eat my candy and hop in the pool. She also tried to butt in on EVERYTHING I did, like even four corners (if the younger children still play that lol), I would win, and the teacher allowed me to be it after I won. Simple right? Wrong. My cousin/best friend argued and yelled and stayed put, even mocked me and copied me. I eventually gave up because I was so fed up. Second: I realized my ‘friends’ only stayed because of her. Not me. They ignored me.
I hope you've distanced yourself from this extremely toxic person. xo
Load More Replies...When I lost my job and was starting a new business, I desperately needed a first client. A close friend of 15+ years from grad school said he would introduce me to his VP so I could make a pitch - and then ghosted me. No reason given, no contact, no nothing. That sucked. FYI I survived financially, but I've never spoken to him again and don't expect I ever will.
when i moved away from my hometown to attend university, some of my "friends" suddenly moved to the same city shortly after, had a few good months before i noticed that they were hanging out with the people i had become friends with and tried to cut me out. met some decent people that didn't care for my "friends" and were friends with me bc of me.
I was in an incredibly abusive relationship and the moment I ended it, my ex was invited over for a three-way with a couple I'd known for a long time. One of the people in the couple told me he was in love with me but since he thought I was better than him, he'd hurt me by f*****g my ex with his husband. That's like thinking you're going to hurt me by stealing my fries when I've been done with my shitty burger. We have never spoken since and I'm not sad about it.
Yep, had "best friends" since grade 2. Fast forward to when we are in college. My live in boyfriend proposed to me and that's when things went to s**t with the friends. My friend Rhea told me my bf didn't propose to me and it never happened even though i had the ring on my finger. A few days later my 2 "besties" were gnna come over for dinner and they did show up, handed me a written note and walked away laughing. In the note were the cruelest things accusing me of things i'd never said or done and that's when I realized they were lying to each other about me and making s**t up because they were mad jealous I was doing well in college and had a nice home and soon a husband which they had serious trouble coping with. Rhea had once said before I'd met my husband, that i would probably be last to get married. Ha! First to get married and live the best life ever and that is the best revenge
I never really trusted anyone I came across, except for a stray few who I connected with. Two of them are from jobs I held and I regularly talk to one of them (wonderful person too). A couple others are people I met online in a larger group, again it's another regular contact. I don't ask for much at all from them, their company is more than enough for me everyday. 🦊 The quality of your friends should matter more than the quantity.
My sister's high school best friend got married after they graduated. Their entire senior year, she made her husband seem like this horrible controlling guy and my sister didn't like him. My sister is one of those people that protects anyone she cares about. After they she and my sister cut off contact and they eventually divorced, my sister learned from the now ex husband that he had never liked my sister either. The reason was because her best friend told him that my sister was a lesbian and obsessed with her and that's why my sister didn't like him. TLDR: my sister and her best friend's husband hated each other because best lied about them to each other.
For most of my life I would make a big deal about all of my friend’s birthdays, planning surprise parties, group dinners, trips and such. When it came to my birthday, Nada. It’s as if I didn’t even exist. My birthday is on December 20th and year after year everyone would forget my birthday, so I chalked it up to it being so close to Christmas (hello, denial, I know you all too well). The last time anyone of my so-called friends acknowledge my birthday, was for my 30th…in 2002. For my new year’s resolution, going into 2020, I decided that I was to no longer going to acknowledge the birthdays of any one that I know. This has upset almost 99.9% of the people that I know…or rather knew. When confronted about missing someone’s birthday, I simply explained my reason for not acknowledging their birthday, and surprise, surprise, I never hear from them again. Good riddance!
When I had appendectomy, the one friend from the supposed BFF circle that living in the same town, had car and it only takes less than half an hour to reached my hospital, knowing that I'm alone, far from my family but didn't even bother to showed up. That was the last stroke. It was me who think that they're my friend. There were too many signs that I've ignored. Fortunately I have other circle of friends that taking turn accompanied me voluntarily, and we're still taking care of each other even until today, and expanded to their new family.
Be careful how much you judge people that let you down. Odds are that in someone else's live story, you are the asshole, even if you don't realize it and didn't really mean to be.
I've been the asshole. One of my friends tells me off about once a year. We're still friends, in part because I apologize and put the bad behaviour on the no-no list. The rest comes down to sharing a sense of humour and being there.
Load More Replies...Just before I deactivated facebook I put a post up every couple of days telling everyone to PM me of you want to keep in contact. Out of 70+ people, I had approx 8 people that I exchanged numbers with. Out of the 8, I keep in contact with one. I was the only one that made any effort with the others but wasn't reciprocated so I just stopped. The end.
For fb,i think that 8 is pretty good,especially if you are introverted like me.Don't feel bad
Load More Replies...I cut out the person who had been my "best friend" since grade school when I was 21 because when I called her to tell her I was engaged to the love of my life and asked her to be my maid of honor she replied "If you really get married this time." She was referring to the fact that I had been quasi-engaged to my previous long term boyfriend who had been so mentally and physically abusive that I did not date anyone for several years after we broke up. The fact that she couldn't be happy for me and had to bring up the darkest time in my life just shattered me. My sisters were dual matrons of honor, it was a beautiful wedding where I married my best friend, I have been married over 28 years, I have wonderful people in my life now and the rest is history.
I’m glad your story has such a happy ending! 💜
Load More Replies...When in high school I had a group of friends that were the "it" girls in school. We hung out every day. Wore the same kind of clothes, etc. I was the one who walked away. They had asked me where I liked to shop. As an art person I said a leather store I knew where you could get supplies and finished items like purses. They went with me to check it out. When we got home they emptied their pockets and purses on the bed of all the stuff they had stolen. Nothing but a bunch of thieves. That is when I walked away. My parents divorced then and we moved into town. They tried to get in touch with me but I declined involvement. Thing is you move on when you have life changes. Change schools, divorce, graduate, change jobs... those people were your friends while it lasted. You then have the chance to find new friends. Rarely do you keep the same friends your whole life. Bloom where you are planted. Be open and caring to making new ones. If you do have lifelong ones count it as a rare blessing.
Good idea to walk away. Apart from the moral issues, they could have caused you legal problems.
Load More Replies...I never had friends in school and to this day I still don't have friends and from reading this I'm kind of glad.
No these are just bad friends. Good friends or even just ok friends are great to have, so go make some!
Load More Replies...My friend said I was a simp cause I have friends who are girls. Walked away from him and hung out with my real friends
When I got sucked out to sea while cliff jumping in Jamaica. I finally swam back to shore and had to climb back up the rocks to get out of the water. I was laying panting on the ground and my "friends" came over with fresh drinks. They hadn't even bothered asking anyone for help when I didn't resurface. I was gone for over 30 minutes.
Wow, wow, wow. That is about worse than all these stories combined! Glad you're okay and hope you found some better friends! Just wow....
Load More Replies...Well friends come and go. Someone said it doesn't make them a bad person. It just means their story/part in your life is over.
Yeah,not everyone is automatically a jerk...People separate for various reasons,don't always has to be some bad person involved
Load More Replies...I’ve known several people ever since college 40 years ago. I’ve stayed in touch with them because I’ve always taken the initiative to contact them. One day my gf asked what would happen if I stopped contacting them. Would they make the effort to check on my well being? We decided to find out. Its been over five years & I haven’t heard a single word from any of them. I guess you’re never too old to learn. But glad to know the truth.
It dawned on me just this past week that if I moved from the town I live in without telling anyone, no one would notice. Edit: I do have friends, lifelong, who live in other states. We call and visit regularly.
Load More Replies..."Friends from work". Your coworkers are not your friends. Learned that hard way. Same as my "college buddies" who disappeared from my life as soon as we graduated, as soon as I changed the job, my "friends" coworkers ditched me completely. At current job I didn't even try and now everyone hates me because they think I am conceited and think too much of me to hang out with them. I just don't want to be hurt anymore. I want at least one friend, but real, who will not be with me just because we work desk to desk and it's convenient.
This happened to me when I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 45. People in my life I would have sworn would never leave my side disappeared in an instant. It's like they thought my cancer was contagious. A select few stood by me. If you want to know who your real friends are, they're the ones who will hold your hair while you vomit in a trash can after that first chemo treatment, the one's who will sit at the hospital with you for 11 hours during a chemo treatment, and will make time to drive you to 3 months of Monday through Friday radiation treatments because you can't drive yourself because it's painful to move because your skin is peeling off in big weepy patches. When I found a new job, I was able to hire this friend for my team, which provided the income she and her husband needed to buy their first home.
When you let others treat you badly it let’s them know it’s ok to do it. It’s better to be alone by yourself than alone in company
Got cancer. Went through 8 months of treatment and two years follow up. A few who I thought were good friends ghosted me, maybe made one call or sent a short text. Fortunately others were with me through all of it.
Same. One said they'd visit me in hospital but never did and we haven't really spoken since. Another one just disappeared.
Load More Replies...A few back-up information, for a better understanding: In the middle of 2000 my father died of cancer. About 6 months later, my mother also died of cancer. 6 months after my mother died, my husband and I split. Turns out he had a new girlfriend for some time ... which my sons told me, after they came back from a fathers weekend. I kind of expected something like that. What I didn't expect however, was that I would gradually lose all of "our friends" in a span of another 6 month. At some point, none of them came by anymore, or even called. I was probably not very enjoyable ... after these one and a half "entertaining" years.
I can relate to this. About a year and a half after I had been in a coma for a month and almost died I was starting to repair and rebuild my life. I had spent two stretches in a nursing home during this year and a half. Once for a little over two months and once for nine months. I had broken up with my partner of six years. I was finally doing better though. I had just gotten a new apartment. I was able to walk and swim again. Progress was definitely being made. Out of the blue one day my best friend called me up and told me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I was struck dumb. I hadn't really been bothering her because she had a new boyfriend and was in that honeymoon phase so when she called I don't think we had spoken for about two weeks. I asked her why and if she maybe just wanted to take a break. She said no to the break idea and that I just "wasn't fun" anymore. I think I said if you had been through this, you wouldn't be much fun either. Good riddance.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of my old friend, Bill. Not a friend, but a girlfriend. He really loved her. She broke up with him. Then a few months later, she wanted to get back together and he was thrilled. She had broken her leg, and he was driving her around. Then on his birthday, he get laid off. Goes home and that night, she broke it off with him (knowing he had just gotten laid off on his birthday). She straight up told him that she only got back together with him so he'd drive her while her leg was in a cast. But the cast was off now. I will hate that woman until the day I die.
Do what I did to avoid losing friends....just don't have any! I prefer acquaintances as there's less pressure to meet any unknown expectations.
Looking at these through my own experiences with people I thought were friends and even though it seems universal, it still makes me sad. I used to think 'friends' meant something. It was a big deal to call someone a friend but now I have none because the ones I thought truly were either rejected me or we've just drifted apart. In the decades since graduation, the people (mostly coworkers) who I've come close to calling friends have left so now it's like ... eh what's the point getting to know anyone. Even today, someone who I thought was a good worker and didn't mind being around I find out is leaving. And now, I've reached an age where I feel it's getting impossible to start new friendships.
This is very sad. I understand but it doesn't make it less sad to hear. I hope that you are at least open to the possibility.
Load More Replies...in the US & other countries where northern European culture is the dominant culture, friends are sort of treated like socks. Think about it: you buy a pair of socks to meet a need like matching the color of your dress slacks or the sport you are playing. The same way, people enter into friendships based on current needs. When the sock gets old, the elastic fails so it won't stay up, it fades so much so it looks pathetic, or the original need goes away, it gets thrown out. The same way, people get rid of their "friends" when the relationship gets old, fades, or the original need goes away. Yes, if you wear high top boots, you can use them for boot socks. The same way, some friendships continue long-term but are never seen again publicly. This includes all long distance relationships. Folks, wise up: you are dealing with human beings here with souls, not cheap fashion accessories. Treat people like human beings for a change, okay? Don't throw away a true friend since they are so rare. You may only have one or two genuine friends in your lifetime, so cherish them. Don't end a genuine positive relationship for a frivolous reason. Forgive and forget if they hurt you, okay?
Yeah, I've been the giver and receiver in this situation. Not sure why it occurred in either case, perhaps always looking for something better to come along without realizing how good you have it at that moment. At this time in my life, my one and only friend is my husband, I moved to his state knowing no one and while I do have work friends, I don't socialize with them outside and would not want to. I am very uncomfortable in large group settings and prefer to be close to home. I know my previous friendships have affected me, making me feel self conscious and have no confidence in creating relationships.
It was my family for me, and it sucked. My father and I never had a good relationship, and when I was leaving the state, he refused to allow me to keep and pay for the car he had cosigned on. He shared his side with the rest of my family and they all turned their backs on me. On her deathbed, my mom asked my side of the story. After she heard my truth, she asked why I had never told them the evil s**t my dad did to me. The only response I had was "because you never asked, you all just assumed it was all my fault". She cried and apologized but I lost my family at age 25 thanks to my dad the narcissist.
A non-crazy parent would never want his child alienated from the rest of the family. Family members with decency would ask for your side before turning their backs on you.
Load More Replies...My mothers friends left her while she was divorcing my abusive dad. They sided with him and not me. That was recently.
I jokingly said to a woman I considered my closest friend that when we get old, if we're not married or something, that we should get a house together. She laughed and said, "You know I couldn't live with you." I didn't know. I didn't end our 'friendship,' but her comment hung over like a cloud until years later, I cut her loose. Why? Because she and her husband moved to my state, 3 1/2 hours away, lived here for 10 years and never once invited me to her house or accepted an invitation to mine, or even agree to meet halfway. Then when they decided to leave the state, she called out the blue to announce that she and hubby were going to stop by before they hit the road. I asked her why and told her not to bother. We've not spoken since.
I often think it would be nice to have at least one friend to talk to and do things with, but I've learned the lesson well over the last 50 years that in most cases the idea of a friend is an illusion. I would much rather be alone than be used over and over by people that can't even find the time to text just to say hello.
I decided I didn't want to go out with the aim to 'get drunk' anymore, I wanted to pace myself instead. I was told I was boring and got dumped by most of my friends o.o
As in a once popular, but now very old Dutch song (80s): friendship is an illusion, a packet of rust with a thin layer of chrome.
Ok, I need to share: ~16yo, my best friend (a little bit older) just ghosted me. No reason, no explanation. One of the biggest trauma in my life. ~few years ago I was struggling with anorexia, and one evening, out with my crush I drank too much (I was drunk because anorexia, wasn't able to handle my "normal" amount of alcohol) and he told me he had a girlfriend. I just remember I left, crying, and figured out I was wayyyy too drunk. I grabbed a random guy near subway and told him "man, I don't feel good. Can you help me please? I need to go back home" and he just brought me home, safe !! Faith in humanity restored.
Girl, that should be faith in luck. You were lucky.
Load More Replies...was told they were only friends with me because they thought i had Downs, im fat and wear glasses. fun times
They were gaslighting you; they didn't think you had Downs. Mean, mean people and BTW half my country is fat and wears glasses:-)
Load More Replies...Had a few ... I moved a lot as a kid and got attached to the wrong people : - Stopped talking to me when i graduated and not her (we were in our mid 20's) - Basically told my bf (not even to my face) i was unreliable and someone you can't talk seriously because i'm the clown during parties (i don't party much so i relieve pressure), but they'd never engage in serious talks in or out of party - She used me for cash, booze and try to avoid me confessing to my crush so she could have a backup lover (she was in a shady relationship and liked my crush) - She constantly belittle me, the last straw was when she insulted me for wanting to recontact my family, for buying a brand new ikea couch (mass produced so many people have it so makes me having no personnality...); for being confident in my body even though i was a bit overweight at the time... ... And so on...
When I was twenty, my “friends” found out that I was a virgin, and after that they stopped giving me the time of day. It’s one of the reasons I feel so hesitant to trust women again.
This girl and I were 'best friends' in primary school for 4 years, but then the summer holidays after Year 6 came along and she began cyberbullying me.
My list of fake friends 1. Best friend started hanging out with first wife and her girlfriend while we were still married and new that they were moving in together 2. When I was in junior high I found out my "friends" only hung out with me to get closer to my brother 3. When a "friend" RSVP'd to my wedding (2nd marriage) but told me that morning she could not make it because a friend was visiting from out of town (out of town was 20 minutes away) 4. When a friend rooted against my team during superbowl for a team she has always hated-this is a silly one but I was very annoyed but we are still friends i just dont watch football with her any more :) 5. When a person kept making comments about me being bi-racial but mostly saying shitty things about me being half white and always referring to everything I did as some white girl s**t My list can go probably on and on but now I have about 3 close friends, which works for me.
I remember back in Grade 6, I was (supposedly) the second most popular in my class (as voted by the class). Everyone hung out with me, played games with me, and even just chilled with me. My cousin/best friend was always with me, and we were pretty close. But this story has 2 bad endings in one, first: My cousin/best friend was very manipulative. She would always make me feel guilty and make me do everything for her. I invited her to my house almost every day, and she accepted. But when she got to my house, she would just eat my candy and hop in the pool. She also tried to butt in on EVERYTHING I did, like even four corners (if the younger children still play that lol), I would win, and the teacher allowed me to be it after I won. Simple right? Wrong. My cousin/best friend argued and yelled and stayed put, even mocked me and copied me. I eventually gave up because I was so fed up. Second: I realized my ‘friends’ only stayed because of her. Not me. They ignored me.
I hope you've distanced yourself from this extremely toxic person. xo
Load More Replies...When I lost my job and was starting a new business, I desperately needed a first client. A close friend of 15+ years from grad school said he would introduce me to his VP so I could make a pitch - and then ghosted me. No reason given, no contact, no nothing. That sucked. FYI I survived financially, but I've never spoken to him again and don't expect I ever will.
when i moved away from my hometown to attend university, some of my "friends" suddenly moved to the same city shortly after, had a few good months before i noticed that they were hanging out with the people i had become friends with and tried to cut me out. met some decent people that didn't care for my "friends" and were friends with me bc of me.
I was in an incredibly abusive relationship and the moment I ended it, my ex was invited over for a three-way with a couple I'd known for a long time. One of the people in the couple told me he was in love with me but since he thought I was better than him, he'd hurt me by f*****g my ex with his husband. That's like thinking you're going to hurt me by stealing my fries when I've been done with my shitty burger. We have never spoken since and I'm not sad about it.
Yep, had "best friends" since grade 2. Fast forward to when we are in college. My live in boyfriend proposed to me and that's when things went to s**t with the friends. My friend Rhea told me my bf didn't propose to me and it never happened even though i had the ring on my finger. A few days later my 2 "besties" were gnna come over for dinner and they did show up, handed me a written note and walked away laughing. In the note were the cruelest things accusing me of things i'd never said or done and that's when I realized they were lying to each other about me and making s**t up because they were mad jealous I was doing well in college and had a nice home and soon a husband which they had serious trouble coping with. Rhea had once said before I'd met my husband, that i would probably be last to get married. Ha! First to get married and live the best life ever and that is the best revenge
I never really trusted anyone I came across, except for a stray few who I connected with. Two of them are from jobs I held and I regularly talk to one of them (wonderful person too). A couple others are people I met online in a larger group, again it's another regular contact. I don't ask for much at all from them, their company is more than enough for me everyday. 🦊 The quality of your friends should matter more than the quantity.
My sister's high school best friend got married after they graduated. Their entire senior year, she made her husband seem like this horrible controlling guy and my sister didn't like him. My sister is one of those people that protects anyone she cares about. After they she and my sister cut off contact and they eventually divorced, my sister learned from the now ex husband that he had never liked my sister either. The reason was because her best friend told him that my sister was a lesbian and obsessed with her and that's why my sister didn't like him. TLDR: my sister and her best friend's husband hated each other because best lied about them to each other.
For most of my life I would make a big deal about all of my friend’s birthdays, planning surprise parties, group dinners, trips and such. When it came to my birthday, Nada. It’s as if I didn’t even exist. My birthday is on December 20th and year after year everyone would forget my birthday, so I chalked it up to it being so close to Christmas (hello, denial, I know you all too well). The last time anyone of my so-called friends acknowledge my birthday, was for my 30th…in 2002. For my new year’s resolution, going into 2020, I decided that I was to no longer going to acknowledge the birthdays of any one that I know. This has upset almost 99.9% of the people that I know…or rather knew. When confronted about missing someone’s birthday, I simply explained my reason for not acknowledging their birthday, and surprise, surprise, I never hear from them again. Good riddance!
When I had appendectomy, the one friend from the supposed BFF circle that living in the same town, had car and it only takes less than half an hour to reached my hospital, knowing that I'm alone, far from my family but didn't even bother to showed up. That was the last stroke. It was me who think that they're my friend. There were too many signs that I've ignored. Fortunately I have other circle of friends that taking turn accompanied me voluntarily, and we're still taking care of each other even until today, and expanded to their new family.