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In-Laws Go Behind Bride’s Back And Invite Banned Guest To The Wedding, She Cancels The Whole Thing
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In-Laws Go Behind Bride’s Back And Invite Banned Guest To The Wedding, She Cancels The Whole Thing

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Admittedly, weddings and ex-partners don’t seem like a compatible or exciting pairing. But if the previous relationship ended on peaceful terms, the future married couple may consider inviting them to celebrate the special day together for the sake of their friendship.

When this groom and his family decided to extend an invitation to his ex-girlfriend, the bride wasn’t exactly pleased about it. After telling them many times that she didn’t wish to see such a guest at the wedding and getting ignored, she took action, and not the good kind.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Chelsey Morin, wedding planner and coordinator at Double Blessing Events, who kindly agreed to tell us more about weddings and ex-partners.

The combination of weddings and ex-partners seems like a disaster waiting to happen

Image credits: Trần Long / pexels (not the actual photo)

This special day even got canceled when the groom insisted on inviting his ex-girlfriend

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Image credits: Nadtochii / envato (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: SuperbTarget9054

“Are you both okay with the ex attending your wedding?”

Image credits: Jeremy Wong / pexels (not the actual photo)

One of the most trusted experts on etiquette, William Hanson, says that it’s pretty much a hard and fast rule not to invite an ex-partner to the wedding. “It’s just going to be awkward for them and you.”

But there seems to be an exception. “Unless, that is, it was so long ago and you have moved well into the ‘friend’ zone and there are, hand on heart, no feelings towards them from your side then perhaps it is acceptable.” If the breakup was recent and still quite a raw subject, the couple may want to avoid it for the sake of both of them.

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Meanwhile, Chelsey Morin, wedding planner and coordinator at Double Blessing Events tells Bored Panda, “This truly depends on each and every couple and what they are comfortable with. Someone else’s future husband or wife might not care in the least if you invite your former significant other, but your future husband/wife might prefer you don’t. Open, honest, and clear communication with each other is key.”

She also urges partners to think about several other factors. “Number one, are you both okay with the ex attending your wedding? Number two, is the ex unhealthy or toxic? Number three, would them not being there affect how much you enjoyed your special day? Would you miss them if they weren’t there? Number four, why are you wanting to invite them? Is it because there’s a genuine friendship with healthy boundaries? Or is it another reason that might not be a good one?”

“It is normal to feel a little weird or uncomfortable if your future spouse wants their ex at the wedding”

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Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)

In case a future spouse insists on inviting their ex, it’s important to speak up and explain why it makes you uncomfortable. A wedding is supposed to be one of the most special days of your life, and having a reminder of your partner’s previous relationships can really put a damper on it. 

“It is normal to feel a little weird or uncomfortable if your future spouse wants their ex at the wedding, especially if it was a serious relationship. The biggest thing here is to understand why they want to invite their ex to the wedding,” says Morin.

“Then, after you’ve listened and heard why, you can say, “I understand you want to invite your ex because _____. When I hear this, it makes me feel _______. I’m not going to force you to make a certain decision either way, but I just want to let you know where I stand and how this makes me feel.” And then trust that they will make the best decision for them. The only thing you can do is listen, understand where they’re coming from, share how you’re feeling, and leave their actions up to the,” she concludes.

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If you’re a former partner who is invited to the wedding, it might be a good idea to take a breather and think through it. “Assess the ‘weird’ factor for yourself based on your individual situation,” suggests Alexandra Denniston, owner and lead planner at Eventlightenment Planning.

“If you’ll be an outlier guest…maybe consider declining the invite. Everyone’s relationship with their ex is different, so ultimately it depends on your unique situation as to whether it is appropriate or comfortable to invite an ex (or attend an ex’s wedding)!” 

The author provided more information in the comments

Some readers thought that the cancelation was justified

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

Read less »

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Nina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, they totally miss the part where he reacts to her. The fact in itself he is still in good contact with his ex is not the problem, it's the complete dismissal of her feelings and the fact he puts his families' and ex's feelings first.

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arthbach
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing how often selfish people call others selfish if they don't get their own way.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! It's amazing attempted camouflage, isn't it? I call it "squid ink". Just throw any old rubbish out there, hoping people will be so busy dealing with that that the outrageous behaviour gets forgotten.

Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the only exception to this would be if the ex was the parent of your child and even then it would still be a maybe.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen where the brides invited the ex because of the child/Ren to be a part of the ceremony because they understood the need to include and make the children feel a part of the new union, this was not such a situation.

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Nina
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, they totally miss the part where he reacts to her. The fact in itself he is still in good contact with his ex is not the problem, it's the complete dismissal of her feelings and the fact he puts his families' and ex's feelings first.

Load More Replies...
arthbach
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing how often selfish people call others selfish if they don't get their own way.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! It's amazing attempted camouflage, isn't it? I call it "squid ink". Just throw any old rubbish out there, hoping people will be so busy dealing with that that the outrageous behaviour gets forgotten.

Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the only exception to this would be if the ex was the parent of your child and even then it would still be a maybe.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen where the brides invited the ex because of the child/Ren to be a part of the ceremony because they understood the need to include and make the children feel a part of the new union, this was not such a situation.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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