For many brides, picking out a wedding dress is a dream come true. Not only is it important to choose one that will make you feel confident and beautiful on the big day, it’s also wise to keep in mind that you’ll be looking back on photos from the wedding for years to come. In a way, that dress will stay with you for the rest of your life!

But when one woman decided that the dress her fiancé’s daughter chose to wear to their wedding was inappropriate, the teen decided that neither of them could have their dream dress. Below, you’ll find a story that a concerned parent recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit wondering if they should call off their wedding altogether due to this dress drama, as well as a conversation with Ginger Ogle, Founder and Director of the Berkeley Parents Network.

This parent was excited to help their daughter find a dress to wear to their upcoming wedding

Image credits: Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo)

But their relationship quickly started crumbling after their fiancée decided that the dress wasn’t appropriate

Image credits: ohpolly

Image source: ElegantFile5415

1,300 new stepfamilies form every day in the United States

Every wedding has complications. No matter how old you are or how supportive your family is, you’ll be unable to keep everyone happy. But when you’re getting a new spouse and stepchildren on the same day, it’s important to try to be on good terms with your partner’s kids. And thankfully, nowadays, anyone who enters into a blended family is far from the first person to do so.

According to the Pew Research Center, 16% of kids in the United States live in blended families today. And the U.S. Census Bureau reports that 1,300 new stepfamilies form every single day. 50% of kids under the age of 13 also live with one of their parents and a stepparent or their parent’s current partner. Over half of American families are remarried or re-coupled, and three quarters of divorcees end up tying the knot again at some point.

But just because it’s common to be in a blended family doesn’t mean that it’s always easy. Navigating a new relationship can be challenging enough, but adding children and the responsibilities of parenting into the mix can make it even harder. Kids may be resistant to change and uncomfortable with the idea of having a stepparent, which can certainly take a toll on their parent’s romantic relationship.

It’s common for stepparents to have rocky relationships with their stepchildren in the beginning

To gain more insight into this situation, we got in touch with Ginger Ogle, Founder and Director of the Berkeley Parents Network. Ginger was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share that, unfortunately, parents and their stepchildren don’t always get off on the right foot.

“Parents have described their kids being resentful of the time their parent spends with the new partner, because it takes away from the kids’ time with their mom/dad,” she noted. “Kids may be holding out hope their parents will get back together, so the new partner is unwelcome.”

Relationship dynamics can also depend on whether or not the stepparent has children already. “A new partner who doesn’t have kids of their own may not know how to relate to kids, might be awkward around them, or impatient,” Ginger added. “Or if the new partner does have kids of their own, the children may feel they are competing with other kids for their own parent’s attention.”

As far as this specific situation, Ginger says that it sounds very distressing but also really odd. “I’d have a lot of questions for the mom about what’s really going on. The couple has been together for 4 years, but the parent doesn’t know why their daughter dislikes their fiancée? It sounds like there are some communication problems between the parent and their daughter. That’s what the parent should focus on.”

Parenting teens is always a challenge, but it can be even harder for stepparents

Teens are notoriously difficult to parent, period. With their growing sense of independence, hormones raging from puberty and desire to defy authority, their behavior can often be amplified when stepparents enter the picture. And according to Kristen at StepMomming, stepparenting teens can be compared to “surviving a minefield.”

To navigate this delicate situation, Kristen recommends that spouses be on the same page as their partner. Enforce the same rules and consequences, and try to be there for your stepchild in the same ways that their parents would be (if they’ll let you, of course). It’s also important to be realistic and prepare yourself for some uncomfortable moments.

Whether the teen hurls cruel words at you or ignores you completely, try not to take it personally. Another important tip that the woman in this story certainly could have benefitted from is: remain calm. At the end of the day, you’re an adult, and they’re not. Immature behavior can be excused in teens, to a certain extent. But as the stepparent, you should know better. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Would you have called off this wedding too? Then, if you’d like to check out another story from Bored Panda featuring stepparent drama, we recommend reading this article next!    

Readers had plenty to say about the story, so the parent provided a bit more information on the situation

Many called out the parent for ever thinking this wedding was a good idea in the first place

However, some thought that the author hadn’t done anything wrong

And others believed that all parties had acted immaturely

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