The fact that this dude is essentially like "I don't want to talk about this anymore, so the problem is now over" is a red flag to me.

There was a documentary I watched recently that ran tests on jewellery sold on temu, and they often contained illegally high levels of lead that is dangerous to human health. So I would be returning the ring.

I hate the insinuation that she only cares that it’s not “valuable” enough. I mean, no, the ring doesn’t have to cost tens of thousands - I saw mine in the window of a jewellery store in town and it was something like €138 - but there’s a difference between that and a piece of junk that will likely break within a year, especially when there’s no financial reason for it. As for telling her she can ‘buy her own ring and pay for it [her]self’ and his dismissal of her issues with it, he’s not exactly showing her how much he values her or her feelings. I’d be worried about marrying someone like this too.

People seem to forget that buying from Temu means that you support the use of forced labour from the Uyghur minority under terrible working conditions. The same goes for Shein. Also, Temu products are more often than not hazardous to your health. Why buy the woman you profess to love a ring that might be poisonous and that's made by someone in fear of their life? Also, him dictating that the problem is over is a red flag the size of China.She did well not to marry this man.

Even putting aside the whole thing that it's from Temu, I think what actually hurts isn't the low cost. It's the fact that he tried to cover it up. He got a 40$ ring, and tried to pass it off as something much more valuable. I think the part that actually hurts is that he lied. And each time he was pressed on his lie, he fled the conversation. Trust takes a lot of time to be built, and a moment to be broken. And his avoidance is rapidly breaking that trust even more. That's what's hurting her, not the value of the ring.

Buying an engagement ring on Temu is the quickest way to suck the romance out of a proposal. He didn’t even have the sense to tell her it was simply a placeholder. Silly man

So she can pick her ring and pay with her own money and then he skips off all happy like? I'm sorry, but he is a con man. The recent development high paying job is a ruse to make her comfortable about marrying him and he is being defensive and constantly turning himself into the victim to divert the discussion because his bull.s.hit is catching up with him to the point he is constantly doing a runner to stop the discussion before he gets caught. Also, I would reject absolutely anything from TEMU and his claim that he did research and it was a quality ring at $38 is transparently bull pizzle. There is no such thing as TEMU and quality in the same sentence, none. She is being love bombed into a chasm of future despair.

The problem here is not her disappointment over the ring's cheapness, but her realization that he doesn’t care for her feelings. An engagement ring is an extremely symbolic, sentimental thing. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does need to be selected with thought, care, and meaning. This man made no effort to select something that would please her. Now she’s disappointed because the message the cheap ring and his behavior conveys is that her emotional needs are unimportant. I hope she ends to relationship.

I wonder if his friends and family would be okay with him spending $38 on the ring. I'd be okay with fake diamonds, but would insist on real gold (so that it doesn't tarnish). I'd be willing to bet that one of his friends has already pulled off this stunt, and he's just seeing if he can get away with it (not realizing the ring will tarnish in a year).

this aint right. my husband makes 55k a year and got me a $1k ring not caring about the price. he chose the ring bc the band was unique like vines crossing over each other and amethysts placed on it. my favorite color is purple which is another reason he chose it. the diamond is actually the diamon from my mother in laws original engagement ring so that adds love and memory to the ring. he put so much thought into the ring. if he told me the ring cost $50 i wouldnt care bc of the amount of thought he put into it. he told me it took him a year to find one that would b perfect for me. i was honestly shocked he spent $1k for a ring that didnt have a diamond but there is 6 real amethysts and its real silver so i guess it makes sense idk. but its the thought that matters most. he even went so far to cater to my pokemon maniac side. he set up a pokeball to b a ring box. wen he propsed he said "i choose you will you choose me?". he couldve put a candy necklace in there and i still wouldve said yes. taking me to where we met to propose was the icing on the cake too. took him a year to find the ring and 6months to think of how to propose in a way ill never forget. wat my husband did is the proper way to find and buy a ring. think about the woman and wat she is to u and then consider things she may like. u dont need to break bank. hell u dont even need to buy the diamond if ur able to do wat my husband did. like wen i have kids im totally gonna offer to do the same. hell the diamond i have may end up being passed down thru generations. its really not hard to put thought into things. the OP's fiance put no thought at all into this and if he cant put thought into one of the most important gifts to a significant other then hes not worth it. it means he has no meaningful thoughts

I once knew a girl who told her boyfriend she'd refuse to marry him if he spent less than 3 months salary on a ring. I've always done the judgy side eye at women who insist on expensive engagement rings. I was ready to judge OP as a shallow, materialistic person with her priorities all wrong. However, the whole Temu thing feels wrong. Like, I understand wanting a deal, and not wanting to spend a fortune. But $38 from Temu? Even he knows that's kind of crappy because he tried to hide it. If he was comfortable with his purchase he would have been up front about it when she asked. And now his refusal to even discuss his choice---this all just feels really off. I think the boyfriend saw a bargain and jumped on it.There was no thought or care put into it beyond the price. I think that is the problem. My ring was less than $300. It still came from an actual jewelry store. And my husband took me to pick it out because he wanted to be sure I liked it.

This is him testing you, his buddy put him up to it. I hate it, he should trust you.

Dump him and move on.

The ring is breakup bait. He doesn't want to get married, but feels pressured to do so, and likely fears he won't find anyone better, considering her earlier sacrifices for him. So now he's picking fights to get out of it.

What a cheap skate! "You pick a ring and use your own money to pay for it"?!!!! His is showing you who he is. You say he's not lived with you long, that's why you're noticing different behaviour? Because he's got what he wanted! He in your home and showing you your future. I thought he would have took you to pick one and paid for it! Omg! When he said he looked into that ring, he meant he'd read the reviews. Most people would like it as a dress ring and maybe more for those who can't afford a real ring, but not a permanent engagement ring of a man who earns 200k a year? When someone shows you who they are, believe it. He tried to hide looking it up? Because is shameful. You deserve better OP!!

Trouble with getting it on temu is it’s almost certainly not what it says it is. Glass “diamonds” will chip and the band will wear. You can get decent quality rings for less than $100 elsewhere and know what they are made from at least. What a careless thing to do.

Cons: Not putting an effort into the ring. I guess in no other gifts to her. Her feeling confure inbtge relationship is an important 🚩. Deflecting and getting passive agressive in not healthy partner behaviour. Telling her to get her own ring instead of going together to buy a better one is simply nasty. She is right: not someone to spend the rest of your life with.

You don´t buy a 38 dollar ring if you are serious... My father proposed to my mother in 1961 with a tiny 4 set cubic zircona gold ring, which was all that he could afford at the time.Ten years later he bought a spectacular diamond ring for her, but I still cherish the original ring.

I usually laugh at ring shaming posts but an engagement ring from Temu?? No.

Ok, I was leaning towards his side because of what sounded like materialistic but the comments here have now enlightened me as to the materials used, so ESH. And this is a major hurdle they will need to overcome if this wedding is going to go ahead.

Are you looking for a real engagement ring? look at finesse jewelry haha https://www.finessefinejewelry.com/engagement.html

I refuse to buy from Temu, just like I refused to buy from Wish. Terrible site, no standards and terrible treatment of workers.

Well, what is the point to be engage, The committed or the big luxury stone the mark you as unavailable? If you were happy who cares? Walmart, Temu, shein or Cartier yo got the man you dream with all your life. He doesn't want to talk about because he is embarrassed, you caught him. He maybe planned other thing or not but the point is, he has the intention to settle down with you! Jesus, women vanity sometimes is out of the world

I think your the idiot. Sorry, but you loved it, when you thought it was expensive. Be happy. Jeez.