Hi from a child all the way to mid 50's, I was/am the one who " fixes/saves" the family members. As a child it was my mother that I was weekly saving from beatings from my alcoholic father partly because she was running around with other men, and he was obsessed with her and wouldn't let her or the marriage go. Then it was my father who needed saving from himself after they finally divorced when I was 15, he went to prison and I was subjected to mom's new drunk "man" and had to clean up after him and his "friends" after coming home from summer school where I chose to go to avoid the situation at home. I voluntarily went to a group home for teens after being denied medical care with double pneumonia by mom's boyfriend ( she was told she COULDN'T use OUR CAR to take me to the doctor). Then was sent to live with an aunt on my dad's side who had mental trauma issues and was verbally & mentally abusive on a FARM 35 miles away from ANY town. Where I was forced to work on the farm many many hours after school unless it was a day of church activities which I was FORCED to attend EVERY ONE OF if I wanted to spend even 1 hour a week with a friend from school. If I skipped a church event I was grounded for 2 weeks to the farm with extra chores. Finally turned 18, took a HORRIBLE nanny job to escape the FARM, The male adult in the house TRIED to visit my ROOM at night while his WIFE worked, but I locked and blocked the door EVERY NIGHT. Then was " fired" for " incompetence & NOT doing my duties" ( husband wanted me gone because I wouldn't agree to his advances), NO choice but to move back in with mom and her " new " man.. this man was the most WONDERFUL man, he treated me like the daughter he never had for 30+ years and I loved him like a father until his death. Mom thought I was " AFTER" HER MAN... so she put a AD on the local radio station and listed me as homeless, able to cook & clean & provide care for someone in exchange for a place to live. She drove me and all my few belongings to a 65-75 year old Russian man's hovel above an old gas station and told me as she unloaded my stuff in the driveway " be nice to him and he will take care of you" ... Then drove away without looking back.

My bio- Father was out of jail, and RESCUED me from there within 24 hours. But Dad still had a very unhealthy obsession with my mother... She became pregnant by this wonderful man which infuriated my dad. He eventually found her and nearly beat her to death and almost caused her to lose the baby. So back to Jail for 15 years he went. I finally MET a man I felt safe with and fell in love with who was 6 years older than I, We married and had 2 children, after 18 years together of amazing happiness he died suddenly of a massive heart attack. I nearly died with him, I was beyond devastated and heart broken. I continued functioning simply because of our children, I went through the motions every day and raised our children but stayed in a state of shock, loss & mourning for about 4 years. Later I accepted the step of spending some platonic time with a male friend who I had known for about 10 years who had a very spoiled, diva, manipulative daughter the same age of my oldest child from a previous marriage ( ironically a cousin of another dear friend). We married and had a child together. This man I know adores me and has been a wonderful husband to me and 2nd parent ( I hate the word stepparent) to my adult children. He is a 2x honorablly discharged veteran, he has PTSD and as the years have passed has developed memory issues and I and our son are his 24/7 caregiver's. Life hasn't been smooth sailing, easy or simple. But I can say that I have been BLESSED to have 2 wonderful men love & accept me even with my mental scars and issues beyond belief. There's so much more that happened during my childhood and youth and young adulthood but these are the LEAST of the issues. Anyone else out there who has dealt with these issues ?