Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
30 Secrets From Former FBI And CIA Agents That Common People Aren’t Supposed To Know About
For most of us, intelligence agencies are extremely mysterious. They’re kept that way on purpose, of course, but it only increases our fascination with them. There are catalogs of popular films revolving around FBI, CIA and NSA agents including the Bourne movies, Argo, Snowden and Zero Dark Thirty. As much fun as it is to see Hollywood’s spin on the secretive lives of intelligence agents, it’s even more exciting to hear stories from the actual people inside the system.
Last year, Reddit user mr_squirrell reached out to Ask Reddit with the question, “FBI/CIA agents, what’s something that you can tell us without killing us?” The question received over 10,000 comments from readers, many of whom have either worked in intelligence agencies or know someone who has. We’ve gathered some of the most fascinating stories and juicy bits of information, so you can live vicariously through these agents. And after you’ve finished this list, continue your investigation into the world of the FBI with this Bored Panda piece.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My spouse is an FBI agent. One of the things they had to do at the FBI Academy was going to the Holocaust Museum in D.C. The lesson was what can happen if you blindly follow orders without ever questioning the morality/intent behind them. I found that pretty compelling, and I was glad to hear that it's part of their training.
MilaFi 3 years ago
This reminds me of an online test I once took, it was "do you have what it takes to be a spy" or something like that...anyways, one of the questions was "Would you be willing to do absolutely anything for your country?" And apparently the correct answer is no because they do not want that type of ppl for spies. Sometimes it's about morals and questioning what's right.
Marek Čtrnáct 3 years ago
After all, what if your boss becomes compromised or a traitor? Their subordinates must be ready to stand against them when necessary.
Load More Replies...
Sarah Rose 3 years ago
Grateful that this is being done. I wish this was a museum to record the genocide against the native population in the Americas as well
Paul Davis 3 years ago
It will be interesting the reactions of the new generations who are now going through Republican state schools teaching them that the Holocaust "wasn't a bad thing". Will they giggle as they go through, or express pride at the efficiency of Nazis?
Irene Bucior 1 week ago
Republican state schools? What the hel* are you talking about?
Load More Replies...
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Except they forgot to mention unless we tell you too then its ok. Snowden said no and everyone should watch that movie
CaptainDinosaur 3 years ago
This the same FBI that orchestrated the assassination/murder of Fred Hampton and other American citizens? Must have added the ethics training after that I guess.
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
You have to draw the line *somewhere*. In this case apparently en route between one murder and six million. /s
Load More Replies... Pink Milk 3 years ago
Like those MAGA idiots who believe something just because "Trump said so".
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
what has trump been saying recently? i thought they removed most of his social media outlets.
Load More Replies...
Jeffrey Diehl 3 years ago
Everything from stairs, railings, exhibits, windows and doors is designed to be just a little bit off centre to give a sense of unease. Too small to notice consciously, but small enough to register.
To understand these stories a bit better, let’s first discuss the differences between various intelligence agencies. The United States currently has 16 active intelligence agencies, but we’ll focus on the 3 most famous: the FBI, the CIA and the NSA. UnitedStatesNow breaks down the responsibilities of each agency on their website: “Each agency has a specific area of focus, although they do occasionally cooperate on cases to share information which could lead to a breakthrough.”
The FBI, or the Federal Bureau of Investigation, is focused on domestic law enforcement. They assist local police in handling certain cases, such as major murder cases, crimes which have crossed state lines and kidnappings. According to their jobs website, the FBI currently consists of “more than 35,000 special agents and professional staff who work across the globe to protect the U.S. from terrorism, espionage, cyber attacks, and major criminal threats.”
RELATED:
#2
Not an FBI or CIA officer here, but my sister is a district attorney, and over the years she has prosecuted a number of animal-cruelty cases. This led to her having an ongoing partnership with the FBI for the last several years. It turns out the FBI started tracking animal cruelty cases about 10-15 years ago due to the incredibly high correlation between harming animals when you're young and becoming a serial violent offender as an adult.
MilaFi 3 years ago
Well, it is obvious one would have to be seriously disturbed human being to hurt an animal. JFC I despise those ppl!
Zenozenobee 3 years ago (edited)
There used to be a serial catkiller in my town. More than 70 cases of killed or severly injured cats linked to the case (so, likely a lot more of poor furballs involved). Seems like the dude loved to break as many bones as possible. The case was solved by a former cop (his cat was among the victimes). I heard in various occasions that it was a waste of money to judge the catkiller or to send him in jail. 1) people saying that lost my respect. 2) even if you have no empathy toward animals, would you trust this man around your kids, grand parents, or anyone vulnerable ?
Load More Replies...
DC 3 years ago
The animals themselves deserve that this is seen and treated as serious crime. Also - hurting my cat is the most dangerous thing to do because authorities, even in the furthestly developed countries in this regard, fail to even come close to sufficient punishment. They feel the same pain we do. Causing them pain is no less wrong than causing us pain. After all, we're just animals ourselves.
Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
Every. Single. Serial killer was an animal abuser when they were young. It escalates from pulling wings of flies to not having the "power rush" to hitting a dog to feel "good" when it licks you and wants your love anyway, to breaking legs, setting on fire, strangling much worse (I will spare you as I don't want to be overly graphic). They escalate to humans. As Erika said, not all mental illnesses are curable. This is far past a "mental illness" as categorized by things that are not shameless or carry blame like having depression or ADHD or such. That is a burden people can't help, and it can be very much better with therapy and meds. People who mutilate and abuse are sick f*cks. Period. Like pedophiles, they do not, ever, get "better"
Eucritta 3 years ago
Right? And yet it took decades to convince them to start tracking animal abusers.
Load More Replies...
Harrison Miller 3 years ago
Fun fact, if you wet the bed even into your teens, you have a higher chance of becoming a serial killer.
I Just Changed My Name 3 years ago
Add fire starting combined with animal abuse and you've the trifecta of a serial killer.
Load More Replies...
The FBI is also in charge of domestic surveillance. For the CIA to access intel on individuals within the United States, they have to request that information from the FBI. On their website, the FBI has a list of topics under “what we investigate” including terrorism, counterintelligence, cyber crime, public corruption, civil rights, organized crime, white-collar crime, violent crime and weapons of mass destruction.
In the Frequently Asked Questions section of their site, the FBI even addresses how accurately it's portrayed in books, shows and movies. “Any author, television script writer, or producer may consult with the FBI about closed cases or our operations, services, or history. However, there is no requirement that they do so, and the FBI does not edit or approve their work. Some authors, television programs, or motion picture producers offer reasonably accurate presentations of our responsibilities, investigations, and procedures in their story lines, while others present their own interpretations or introduce fictional events, persons, or places for dramatic effect.”
#3
Somewhat unrelated but my great uncle was an FBI agent. Every time we would ask him if he had any interesting stories but he would say he was sworn I to secrecy. After 10 years of hearing this, my sister asked “Really?” and he responded with “No, I just don’t remember anything interesting happening.”
#4
When the government shut down hooker sites on backpage and Craigslist the section responsible for hunting human traffickers got pissed. I perused backpage/Jacksonville for six months flagging individuals that matched the description of missing persons. Found a lot of missing girls.
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
The CIA trained hookers in slight of hand and then built brothels with tax payer money. Trained the hookers to spike the John's drink with liquid lsd and then behind a 2 way mirror agents would watch choas unfold. Its true declassified information.
Dee 3 years ago
I just learned about that on the oldest profession podcast!
Load More Replies...
DrGirlfriend 3 years ago (edited)
I was trafficked at barley 16... No one looked for me I was labeled a run away. Please don't ever stop looking for them, most of the time no one else cares where we are
Queen Jackson. 3 years ago
Wait pause what this gotta do with Jacksonville, (Jacksonville Native.)
Ki Li 3 years ago
The person was checking the Jacksonville back page site
Load More Replies...
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
My phone number was incorrectly listed for some tranny sex worker. I got some REALLY weird text messages. I always responded asking if they had a personal relationship with Jesus and when was the last time they called their mother?
Amanda Hunter 3 years ago
Many 'hookers' are in fact sex slaves making some sick bastard rich.
The CIA, or Central Intelligence Agency, “provides objective intelligence on foreign countries and global issues to the president, the National Security Council, and other policymakers to help them make national security decisions”. On their website, they describe what they do in 3 steps: collect foreign intelligence, produce objective analysis and conduct covert action, as directed by the president. They also note that they do not make policy or policy recommendations, and they are not a law enforcement organization.
#5
Two family stories:
1)My father's uncle told everyone for his entire life that he worked at a button factory. It was only revealed after his death that he, in fact, worked at a missile factory and assembled the gyroscopes for guidance in missiles.
2) We always knew my grandfather worked for the government at the pentagon. We never knew exactly what he did but every 6 months or so he would call up to talk to my mom. The conversation was pretty much always the same. My mom and grandfather would catch up for a few then the it would turn into..."So I have another clearance upgrade coming up, you will probably get a call like always. Just wanted to give you a heads up." Surer than sh*t, a week later some government agency would call up (it was always a different one) and ask for my mom. They would ask a bunch of questions and that would be that. When he died from Alzheimer's, at his funeral, 4 men in black suits attended, and no one knew who they were. After the burial, they approached his widow and handed her a plaque with 17 government agency symbols on it. Turns out he was responsible for inter-agency cooperation and training. He basically got everyone to talk to and teach each other. Now his son works for them, doing what? We don't know and don't ask.
Analyn Lahr 3 years ago
The alphabet soup folks should communicate and cooperate. Some of those TV crime dramas have too much unrealistic drama, I think.
Amanda Hunter 3 years ago
When I lived in the DC suburbs men in black would knock on the door annually and ask questions about a couple of neighbors who worked for the over government. One even followed me to the supermarket and back.
#6
A friend applied to work at the FBI. He was required to tell them anything illegal he had done so he told them he had illegally downloaded a bunch of media and they laughed and said if that disqualified you, no one would work there
John L 3 years ago
Yep, nothing will disqualify you faster than lying about something and they find out. They really don't care about your "secrets", they just want to know if you will lie about them.
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
that and , if you disclose everything up front, it removes any possible blackmail potential
Load More Replies...
I'm Kid A 3 years ago
At this point, everyone on earth can break out into "Yo, ho, ho, it's a pirate's life for me" and (almost) no one will bat an eye.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
On citizen applications (I have some family members who are naturalized), there is a question "were you ever a member of the Communist Party?" Writing "yes" likely would not have changed anything, but they could lose their citizenship later if it was discovered that they lied.
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Yeah we wouldnt have a government They are a illegal pos i hate them so much.
Possibly the most secretive and least understood intelligence agency in the US is the NSA, or National Security Agency. (The NSA is actually combined with the Central Security Service, but we’ll just refer to it as the NSA for brevity.) The NSA maintains an extremely high level of confidentiality, and their website describes their responsibilities as collecting, processing and disseminating “intelligence information from foreign electronic signals for national foreign intelligence and counterintelligence purposes and to support military operations. The NSA is also tasked with preventing foreign adversaries from gaining access to classified national security information.”
#7
Met an old, retired, CIA spook at a wedding reception. Spitting image of Col. Sanders, he was amazing.
So I asked him "I don't want you to tell me anything you can't, but I'd love to know when Kennedy got killed, what was the talk around the water cooler in the office?"
He didn't halt, or pause to think.
"Hell, we all thought Johnson did it."
Dave P 3 years ago
When this happened the KGB and GRU each thought the other one did it and both had internal investigations to see if either had such an operation (especially since Oswald has been a former defector to the USSR with a soviet wife and had spent time at a GRU training facility while there) and cleared themselves in their investigation and shared the information with the US right away. General Pacepa, (who from 1971-1979 ran Communist Romania's foreign Intel service the DIE) said that all the senior people in the Eastern Block intel services at the time were 100% either the KGB or GRU did it. No one beleived them when they said they didnt. Pacepa till the day he died in 2020 still through the Soviets had done it.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Almost as great a mystery as to who killed Kennedy was why Johnson didn't run for a second term. Given how clearly power-hungry he had acted all the way up to then, it makes you think somebody had something on him or that he was next on the hit list after the Kennedys and MLK.
Paula Carr 3 years ago
No surprise at all. He knew he would lose due to the quagmire of Vietnam. I was alive then, so I was not terribly surprised.
Load More Replies...
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Absolutely no fan of LBJ, but subsequent events make that idea rediculous. He basically quit the office, when it was highly likely he would have easily been re-elected. The Great Society and Equal Rights legislation of the time are LBJ's legacy, not JFK's as many people think... but so was the Viet Nam war.
Casey Payne 3 years ago
That makes more sense. LBJ was a good ole boy from Texas. Mighty coincidental that the shooting and investigation took place in Dallas. Of course, LBJ was the nicest human being and wouldn't stoop to using his network of power to become president. Idea is laughable.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
From things I’ve learned about LBJ and how ruthless he was, I wouldn’t put that completely outside the realm of possibility. I understand that, even though he was Kennedy’s VP, he did not like JFK. Also, LBJ won the the first office he ran for—-not because more people supported him, but because his backers stuffed the ballot box with votes for him.
Thomas Ewing 3 years ago
I've always thought LBJ had something to do with it. Houston was too convenient.
#8
My SIL is involved in these organizations. She can't tell us much about what she does, but she has a large backpack with a radiophone on top. If the phone rings she's told us you don't answer it. You just drop everything and get out of town faster than ASAP.
Zach Miller 3 years ago
This is probably false. Even the less high-tech options use more conventional methods of notifications, and the operators for these systems want confirmation of contact.
Anyone-for-tea? 3 years ago
Exactly, because they’d have to test the line periodically to ensure it’s still working, and also so you know what it sounds like.
Load More Replies...
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 3 years ago
" This is Papa Johns What can I get for you?"
Load More Replies...
David Timmons 3 years ago
It's the "s**t has hit the fan" phone, like in the event of mass civil unrest or something major happening within society, you get away from civilization to somewhere secluded, especially out of the cities
#9
While in College (1978/79), this textbook in my Poli Sci class told of a time when Nixon was in office and demanded to leave the White House to go to a musical. Unplanned no prep for anything. Major s**t storm for the Secret Service. Eventually, They got Nixon to calm down and they never went out.
One of our close new neighbors happened to work for the Secret Service. His family came over to our Family home for dinner one evening. Eventually, it came out he worked on the Nixon Detail a few years back that's when I shared the story I read in my textbook.
He actually almost dropped his fork and say there with his mouth wide open. Apparently, the story was not only true but was supposed to be a secret. I showed him my book and he notated the author. I have no idea the outcome but it made the night more interesting.
Hedgeh og 3 years ago
It may not be that specific story but simply knowing that someone is leaking confidential info. If one story is out there maybe others are.
Load More Replies...
Liam Farranree 3 years ago
Nixon just wanted to see The Rocky Horror Show to honor the memory of Herbert Hoover.
Andy Zbinden 3 years ago
every nonsense declared to be secret just because. no wonder it's leaking.
Julieandthephatones 3 years ago
woah! i would not have guessed that reaction honestly. Wonder how it made it into the book??
The NSA actually came under fire in 2013 after a former employee, Edward Snowden, stole 1.7 million NSA documents and leaked 200,000 of them. Snowden, a self-proclaimed whistleblower, revealed all of this information to make the general public aware of the NSA’s illegal surveillance activity. Publicly, the NSA had said they never knowingly obtained data from private phone records, but Snowden exposed the truth. In 2020, the US court of appeals deemed that “the warrantless telephone dragnet that secretly collected millions of Americans’ telephone records violated the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act and may well have been unconstitutional”.
#10
I have a relative that retired from the NSA a few years ago. She has talked about a few things in generalities, nothing specific. Among them:
You will see things that entirely change your view of the world. People go in there all the time with lofty goals of changing things and within months those goals are mostly gone. Still, if you want to change things, you work for the agency. If you just want to make money, you work for a contractor. No one cares what contractors have to say.
Most people that stay long enough will do a tour in counterterrorism. Many people transfer out after a few months, and the average stay is two years because of the visuals. Those who stick around for a long time often change for the worse, and many struggle with mental illnesses, become alcoholics, get divorced, and generally lead miserable lives with their work their only reason for continuing.
Alcoholism in general is rife in the agency. When you cannot speak to anyone outside the agency about your work, it becomes nearly impossible to confide in anyone close to you. Even if you have close work friends or family, you have to be careful what you say because not everyone is read into every program. Two people can sit next to each other in the same office, working on the same subject for months, and never talk about it with each other even though they’re close friends outside the agency. So people turn to the bottle. Her husband worked for a different government agency and also had a Top Secret-SCI clearance, but she couldn’t talk about her work with him (nor could he with her, but he didn’t involve the intelligence community).
The agency employs psychiatrists who are cleared to be read into almost any program. Going to them, though, is often seen as a mark of shame among other agency employees, so they are not used nearly as often as they should be.
She told me most of these things while trying to recruit me. She believed that I should go in knowing what to expect. I eventually declined to apply.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
If there is a problem getting agency employees to see mental health professionals, they should be required to do so on a regular basis. It should simply be a requirement of the job. That will get rid of any "shame".
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
seeing a psychiatrist should be mandatory. Unless it turns out that everyone with good mental health leaves the job, or something sad like that.
D. Pitbull 3 years ago
... a mark of shame to see the psychiatrist. Wow. That in itself needs serious addressing. That kind of 'culture' encourages disaster.
Albo alt 3 years ago
I spent my last six months of the USAF at the NSA. I was a linguist with a Top Secret /SCI clearance as well. I eavesdropped on the East German Air Force. Under the rules we operated at the time (early 80s), the NSA could only listen in to foreign communications. However, "foreign communications" was any call with one terminal overseas. So if you were in the USA and called your grandpa or friend in Europe, be sure the NSA was listening.
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
The author James Bamford has written several books about our intelligence services, and particularly the NSA ("The Puzzle Palace"). Highly recommended reading.
KG324 3 years ago
I live near NSA and the vast majority of people around here work for NSA (though technically, you're supposed to say you work for Fort Meade). This statement above isn't really true though it probably depends on the department. My uncle works there and my sister's friend and neither are alcoholics. Our local high school even has year long internships there.
Amanda Hunter 3 years ago
Same with any high-stress job, firefighters police officers prison guards.
#11
I negotiated huge deals with the Russian government. I was tailed 24/7. One time I didn't like the room the hotel gave me (I knew it faced the noisy side bc I stayed there all the time) and instead of just giving me a new room it was a 90-minute wait while they bugged a new room for me. Twice I had bizarro run-ins with very pushy, very "hot" women who allegedly wanted to f**k me so bad... Even if I was straight, "hot" in Russia is a mix between a Bratz doll and a hooker, so no thanks.
#12
My dad worked for the government, and he told me that anytime he had a meaningful interaction with someone who wasn't American (ie going over to my friend's house for the lunar new year, or going on vacation to Canada) he had to report it all and if he saw anything suspicious.
third molar 3 years ago
Sir, reporting a very suspicious pie i ate on my new year party .... burp!
blahd zhahd 3 years ago
Actually this applies to anyone with DoD clearance. You're supposed to report any foreign travel, big purchases (car, house, boat, etc), marital status changes, etc. Any major changes in your life really.
Lisa Shaw 3 years ago
My son in law has a top secret security clearance with the US government, he and my daughter are separated by a border due to the pandemic. My daughter had to have the baby here, due the border issues. All he has ever told me is that to come here for the birth and/or visit he has to do "paper" for it, fill out a form detailing why he is going to another country and be approved. He did say that we are a "friendly" so getting approved has never really been issue. So, he did get to be here for the birth of his daughter.
Todd Plackers 3 years ago
I have no idea why, but I read the last part as "he had to report any suspicious moles." Always check for abnormal moles, I guess? Hahaha.
tirebiter 3 years ago
My dad worked for a defense contractor and had top secret clearance. His best friend was the family dentist. They both loved to travel. The dentist got great travel deals for dental conferences, including Russia and China. My parents went on both trips, much to the dismay of his company and the government. He had to go through long and tedious briefings and debriefings for each trip.
Parmeisan 3 years ago
I wonder if this is mostly about the reporting on his own activities. If someone in that situation was having regular meetings to divulge secrets, they would either have to 1) get creative in reporting those meetings, or 2) hide (some of) the meetings and not report. The agency can look for patterns and also if someone is found to be lying about their activities that would be something they very much need to look into.
Snowden fled the US before leaking the information in 2013, to avoid being prosecuted, and he likely won’t ever return. As of 2020, Snowden has been granted permanent residence in Russia. He planned to only transit through Moscow years ago, but as he was traveling, the US canceled his passport. Apparently 27 countries denied Snowden asylum, so he has no plans to leave Russia any time soon. He is now the president of the Freedom of the Press Foundation and an advocate for freedom of speech and rights to privacy.
#13
No full stories to tell but when my grandfather passed away we found a box of very official IDs including passports with his picture, different names, and different countries.
We'll never know. The only thing we know is he was a bada** motherf**ker who knew how to make knives and spoke 6 languages.
#14
This is anecdotal and years old, but our family still gets a kick out of it...
I had a great uncle who was in construction years ago, he did high-quality rendering and plasterwork - he did some jobs for some security stuff in Australia.
In his later years, he would rave about the CIA and FBI and Australian secret services being in the country, with technology we'd never seen nor would see for decades.
In so 60s and 70s, we're talking about in-ear communication devices, wristwatches with video and audio, small portable computer tablets, and super small/thin screens in full high-quality color, delivering information worldwide in seconds.
His ramblings got to the point where it was conspiracy theory level, and was before smartphones and pads were really a household item... now though, what he described was VERY accurate.
Amy Pattie 3 years ago
I wonder how many people sounds like raving lunatics who in 50 years we’ll look back on them thinking,”hot damn, they were right!”
Julia Mckinney 3 years ago
But none of the "Qanon/deep state is real" lunatics will be proven to be right in 50 years. In 50 years, heck in 25 years, (if the planet is still habitable) people are STILL going to be asking how Trump/Qanon/Fox but mostly Fox, were allowed to promulgate their bat-s**t crazy lies for so long.
Load More Replies...
Chich 3 years ago
Most of those things were on TV and in movies/comic books/novels in the 60s and earlier. D**k Tracey, Start Trek, James Bond etc.
M O'Connell 3 years ago
I'm still waiting for my Lotus Esprit submarine, damnit.
Load More Replies... Leodavinci 3 years ago
Pretty much all that stuff was shown in D**k Tracy comic strips of the early 60s.
survivalrhino 3 years ago
You would be very surprised-- plus there are facilities in places you would never dream of
Kisses4Katie 3 years ago
My father was in some more than secret units in the military, the one thing he told me is that the government is 30 years ahead of us technology wise. And this was in the 80’s, I’d imagine due to Moore’s law it has gotten even more futuristic
David Timmons 3 years ago
General rule of thumb is, for the technology that matters, what they have is roughly anywhere from 30 to 40 years ahead what the general public has and is aware of.
natalie cohen 3 years ago
A family member of mine was with one of these agencies. Basically everyone wanted to know if the organization really had the kinds of things they saw on the TV series “24”. He said that Hollywood tended to think up better equipment than the agency, and that they were playing catch up.
Holvnn Olive Ntivuguruzwa 3 years ago
Everything arrive to the public after like more than 50yrs in the intelligence. Don't think the technology we're using today is the same these people are using, they're more ahead of us.
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Yeah kind of like the people against the COVID shot and the fact that COVID was genetically engineered. But no they are crazy people. Well we shall see.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
We don't need to wait to see the idiocy of not getting the Covid shot. It's still unfolding. The majority of people dying from Covid are unvaccinated. There's not going to be some great unveiling of some grand conspiracy, nor hideous side effects that get revealed a few years from now. Just a lot of stubborn, fearful people who died when they didn't need to, and spread the virus when they could have avoided it.
Load More Replies... #15
My dad works for a 3 letter organization, and to this day I have no idea what he does It’s so funny, growing up not knowing what my dad did, it felt normal. My dad would leave for a week. Be home for a week. Leave for 2. Home for 3. He ALWAYS had a present for me from whatever country he was in. All in all it never struck me as odd as a kid. It wasn’t until I was an adult did it really stick out as abnormal. But to answer your question, he has only told me one thing. Every so often he’ll send me a text, even now as a grown 30-year-old, “Change your passwords”. I always do, without question
Kelli Girouard 3 years ago
The Colonel is serious about keeping those 11 herbs and spices secret.
Load More Replies...
Marco Conti 3 years ago
My Father did too, but I knew he was an agrarian specialist. Or was he?
In 2016, Insider published an interview with former CIA employee Brian Goral to satiate readers’ desires to understand the intriguing lives of intelligence agents. Goral decided when he was only 15 that he wanted to work for the CIA, and he accomplished that goal by the time he was 22. During his 15 years in the service, Goral was taken to over 30 countries, even visiting 4 continents within a week at one point. He mentions that one of his favorite aspects of the job was how much of the world he was able to see. “On one [day] I witnessed the worst poverty I'd ever seen in my life, and a day-plus later, I was seeing some of the most opulent luxury I'd ever encountered… Those memories and contrasts separated by mere hours definitely left an impression and reminded me how fortunate I was to serve — and to serve with my eyes open. These sorts of experiences help a lot of agency personnel move past national biases and prejudgments and understand their work in the bigger context.”
#16
Polygraph tests are bulls**t, and they only really ’work’ by convincing you—the subject—that they can tell when you’re lying, so you’ll be more inclined to tell the truth. A machine cannot tell if you’re lying. Period. It isn't the polygraph that usually gets you, it's the post-poly interview that nails people into the ground.
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
That they're not used as evidence in criminal trials tells you how credible they are.
Dave P 3 years ago
It can work to a degree, but they are also able to be tricked. There are two versions, the mobile (can be trained in under 2 hours on how to fool) and the proper machine. It has a very high false positive rate but a very low false negative rate. So it has its uses in exonerating people but not in finding out guilt. But also can be trained to beat
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Doesn't work with delusional people. Take someone who thinks they are Napoleon, hook them up to a polygraph, ask them if they are Napoleon, and it will indicate they are speaking the truth. Also, anyone who believes something is true but is actually false... or believes something is false but is actually true.
Load More Replies...
Samuel Goodin 3 years ago
It was described once that's like detector doesn't detect lies, but rather emotional responses.
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
That's why the machine is so complicated. They have cameras that will catch people lying if they feel bad about it based on changes in your pupils. But if you lie a lot, you don't feel bad or even feel like it is abnormal! So the whole set up makes you start out nervous and they helps to cause those reactions.
Jeffrey Diehl 3 years ago
The man who invented the polygraph was also the creator of Wonder Woman and lived in a polyamourous relationship with his wife and their lover.
#17
Worked with a woman who was a former NSA. We would always beg her to tell us s**t, but she never did. The one thing she did say, though, was that during training they show them a video of a bunch of things they've found out about and stopped. She said she hardly slept for two weeks after watching that.
MilaFi 3 years ago
Even knowing this gives me anxiety, must be really bad stuff. And what have they failed to stop/know about.
Phil Vaive 3 years ago
I mean, the ones they failed to stop are kind of all over - the rampant school shootings, domestic terrorism, 9/11...
Load More Replies... Mickie Shea 3 years ago
Dated, for years an ex, something or other, who was constantly in fear of being spied upon, perhaps even life threaten.
#18
There is a book called Moscow Rules. It was written by 2 CIA people, all about, well, disguise.
The CIA had all these agents in Russia, but the Russians were insane about following literally every single American in Russia, 24/7, looking for spies.
So a huge part of their job was trying to shake off the KGB. They had crazy quick-change disguises, all sorts of stuff.
The movie Argo was based on one of the writers somewhat.
The IRS 3 years ago (edited)
The Moscow rules are good for general life rules when e.g. walking home late at night- Assume nothing. Never go against your gut. Everyone is potentially under opposition control. Do not look back; you are never completely alone. Go with the flow, blend in. Vary your pattern and stay within your cover. Lull them into a sense of complacency. Do not harass the opposition. Pick the time and place for action. Keep your options open.
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 3 years ago
ARGO gave me terrible anxiety, even tho i knew the ending beforehand....
When asked what the biggest challenge of working for the CIA was, Goral told Insider that it was actually walking away. “Certainly throughout my career there were scary moments in the field and painful ones while working back home, particularly when I'd hear news of friends and colleagues who wouldn't be coming home… However, in a way, those moments were expected and part of the job. Leaving wasn't. During the last 15-plus years, many of the people in the agency became my best friends and family. I was leaving the job security and the mission for complete unknowns, certainly. I also knew that most of those amazing friends and colleagues who helped me to reach the points of success I attained in my career I would probably never see again.”
#19
My high school girlfriend worked for the National Reconnaissance Office after college. At the time, they were responsible for analyzing the nation's spy satellite photos. She told me two things.
There's a special garbage chute for classified materials. It's in the hallway. When you are new, as a hazing ritual they tell you you have to shout your badge number down the chute before throwing in any materials. This is hilarious.
She wouldn't tell me anything about the resolution quality of the spy photos, of course, but she did let it slip that because Russian sailors will sunbathe nude on the decks of their submarines in the Black Sea, several women in the office would pin those photos up in their cubicles as beefcake photos. So a few decades ago, US spy photos could resolve Russian penis.
Chich 3 years ago
Well that explains why they took so long finding bin Laden, too busy expanding their collection of russian d**k pics.
John L 3 years ago (edited)
You know this is something I find interesting. christiane amanpour (works for CNN) said a few years before they got Bin Laden (in a televised interview), that everyone was looking in the wrong place. He's not hiding in a cave, but in plain sight (in a house) on the Pakistani border....she was absolutely right. Did the gov't already know (it wasn't "convenient" at the time to do something) or were they really incompetent?
Load More Replies... 
guesswho2who2 3 years ago
the remote viewer group found bin ladin first... it took a while for photo-intel to confirm it...they don't act without confirmation
Dianellian 3 years ago
Hang on, sunbathing on their submarine deck? Hopefully it was on the surface!
Paula Carr 3 years ago
Submarines spend the vast majority of their time at the surface.
Load More Replies... Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Like who does not know this stuff pay attention. Snowden said the technology you have thats "new" the governments had for 15+ years.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
It really depends on what took those photos. There are hard limits to resolution of satellite photographs. First, because the farther an image is, the wider the view, and the fewer photon that can be captured. Then there is the basic fact that the atmosphere causes some pretty serious distortions, which is why the stars look like they are twinkling. The higher the resolution, the more severe the distortions. So no, even if there were cameras that were large enough and good enough to capture a photo of a penis a distance of 150 km (the height of the old satellites - today they are much farther away). On the other hand, once there were quiet drones which could evade radar, these can fly close enough that they can get a decent Russian d**k pic.
#20
Not CIA or FBI related. My grandfather was a career navy officer. His specialty was in electronic communications. I grew up across the country from him and never gained a close relationship with him. He traveled to many different duty stations but we found out about 2 top secret stations before he died, he had while he was out at sea. He was given the work with one other officer to further develop LORAN, a radio precursor to modern GPS that could track your position accurately to 10s of miles. (Not super impressive by today's standards but it was a hell of a thing back then.) Bikini Atoll, he told me a few years before he passed that he took part in the nuclear testing that took place and felt the heat of an Atom Bomb. He said nothing has ever been more impressive, but nothing has scared him more than the power of a nuclear weapon.
BarBeeGirl 3 years ago
My dad worked in the military as a communications expert. Turns out he was a spy listening to Russian transmissions up in northern Canada
#21
We are all told never to use sites like this and social media, in general, is pretty much a no-go.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
My aunt who was in the Agency used AOL. Cracked me up, she trusted that it was secure.
Mickie Shea 3 years ago
You can meet the most interesting people on social media, and it's not even secure.
When asked what the biggest misconception about working for the CIA is, Goral said that there is really no “stereotypical agent”. “For every gun-rights activist at the CIA, there is a coworker who wants reform right now. For every devout Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu in the building, there is someone who prefers the scientific exploration of the universe. While I've heard political discussions in the halls and cafeteria, I don't think I'd ever seen a hot-button political issue of the day that actually influenced the work or affected cooperation between colleagues working together on a project.”
#22
My dad worked for GCHQ in the 80s doing voice recognition and he can't say anything more for a decade more.
The way they can recognize you by Siri/Google today was being used in the 80s... Just a bit slower...
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
Scotland is exempt, voice recognition technology still struggles with Scottish accents, it really is ridiculous in this day and age.
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Heck I speak in a fairly generic southern England accent, not quite as posh as RP but to a non-English speaker it'd be damn close, and telephone voice recognition systems still can't get me to the right department half the time. I don't know if my local hospital system is tuned for Yorkshire accents but the delivery phone line for my supermarket can't either and that's national. If they can't understand me they've got no hope for Glaswegian.
Load More Replies...
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
I call BS. The computer technology in the 1980s could not deal with the amount of data required for this. The people making this s**t up really have no idea what computing power is required for this, and just how quickly technology has advanced in the past two decades. Even today voice recognition is pretty crappy, as is facial recognition. Also, I am skeptical of any Reddit user who claims that their parents were working for the government in the 1980s, since so few Reddit users have parents who are that old.
#23
I worked with the Australian Federal Police with the spider squad doing "computer stuff" for them in regards to pedos and finding trafficking victims - it is the most heartbreaking work but when you get them the office looked like NASA after the Mars landing
Edit; left 3 and a bit years ago but do get called up to lend a hand every now and then
Hedgeh og 3 years ago
"Rock spider" is slang for "pedophile" in Australia, hence the name of the squad.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
That’s a great name - they’re loathsome and sneaky.
Load More Replies...
#24
My grandfather was CIA.. we all knew better, no one asked. Over time as his assignments became unclassified, he would slowly tell little stories. Was eating dinner. He asks my mom you remember that time y’all dropped me off at Dulles airport? I actually flew to Camp Perry. And was then helicoptered overseas. My mom replied which time. Turns out he was a demo expert. Defused bombs. Spent 30 years all over the world. His claim to fame Toyko Rose used to call him personally. Every time he landed in Japan. Man never traveled under his real name.
Dave P 3 years ago
The woman who was Tokyo Rose (even though the US later would call all English Language Japanese propogandists during WW2 that name later) was an American patriot who was visiting family in Japan when war broke out, she was forced against her will to do broadcasts for the Japanese. She caved in after a while under the condition she would not say anything anti-American or to demoralize US troops. Japan agrees (they had other English speakers for that), so she was a music DJ for the Japanese propoganda station and also gave US sports scores. It later came out she would try to sneak subtle messages to boost US sailor moral by using cultural references the Japanese govt wouldnt understand. Post war she became very involved in US politics and was an official with the Goldwater Campaign, trying to help revive her reputation from the media slander that attached all the negatives from the other English Speakers under her moniker. She would go attend WW2 veteran event to loud cheers from sailors
Michael Starr 3 years ago
Um. Bomb squad said the only guy who can do the job is just having dinner then we’re going to fly him by helicopter from the US so he can defuse this. He’ll be here in about 30 hours. But sir, the bomb is going to go off in 26 minutes. 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
A bit more BS. Tokyo Rose (Iva Toguri D'Aquino) came back to the USA, was convicted (wrongly and based on false evidence) or treason, was in prison until 1956, and lived in the USA for the rest of her life. So why she should call this dude long-distance when he travelled to Japan? Then there is the "CIA demo expert"? While the CIA know how to set explosives, why would they be needed to defuse bombs, when there are special forces who are far better trained. Also, it is "Camp Peary", not "Camp Perry" - one would think that a person making up such stories would know how to use Google and Wikipedia. As for "grandfather". Worked 30 years for the CIA, and supposedly "knew" Tokyo Rose. The CIA was established in 1947, and Camp Peary has been used as a training facility for the CIA from around 1962, and Dulles Airport only opened in 1962. Would have been late 20s at youngest in 1945, and would have been in his late 40s/early 50s when Camp Peary was active. So he was in his late 40s or early 50s, and the OPs mother would have only been around for two or three years before she went off to college and/or got married. Then there is "helicoptered overseas". LOL. The longest range that a military helicopter has is 770 miles, and the speed of those is around 170 MPH. That means that the only place outside the USA that they could have taken the OP's grandfather is Toronto, since it would never even have made it to Cuba. If they stopped to fuel, it would have taken them at least 7 hours to Cuba. Even the slowest military transport would do that in 3 hours without stopping. So. Much. BS.
Lastly, Goral addressed the real question everyone wants answered: how accurate are depictions of the CIA on TV shows and in movies? “I like a good adventure story as much as the next person. However, besides missing badly on the ratio of excitement to preparation, most of the movie and TV versions I've seen have sold short the diversity of personalities and complexity of emotions encountered within the work we do, or they overcompensate with completely ridiculous elements.”
#25
Not either of these, but I've had a clearance so I can weigh in a little.
Two things:
Firstly, most secret s**t happens right in front of people's faces under the guise of being normal everyday stuff.
Secondly, properly secret programs and operations are never named in any way that indicates what they actually are about. They're generally just two words chosen at random and that would rarely come up in normal conversation, stuff like "Cracked Gorilla" (which I just made up off the top of my head.)
So when people talk about classified stuff and its name is super topical, it's either very very old or a nickname at best. Only public programs and operations have topical names as a PR motive, like "Desert Storm."
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
It's ironic that one of the ways to blend in to the background is to be wearing a hi viz vest.
M O'Connell 3 years ago
A jacket from the gas company works well too. A plain white hard hat. Blue coveralls.
Load More Replies...
Shelli Aderman 3 years ago
But you can ALWAYS tell the undercover NYPD on the NYC subways! Baggy sweatshirt, (covering the vest and gear), sneakers, NO backpack (for running, ‘natch), and a hat of some sort. Either a baseball cap, or a knitter hat. EVERY ONE! 🤣🤣🤣🤦🏽♀️
Paul Davis 3 years ago (edited)
In the military I did experience that occasionally a senior officer will name something and you know they did it because it was too much on the nose. But nobody's allowed to talk back to those people so they get to be idiots and reveal too much with their "clever" naming
#26
Any gadget with a microphone that connects to the internet is always listening. Odds are good a human won't ever hear anything said because they are collecting data to sell to other companies. But they are listening, cataloging, and collating it all into databases. I won't get in trouble for that because you already gave permission for your devices to do that. You just clicked accept without reading your terms of use.
MarioRossi 3 years ago
...except that you can actually snff the data packets coming out of your phone and see that this is not true (see for instance this article: https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-49585682 )
Chris 3 years ago
you ever talk about buying something, then log into FB or other websites and see ads for it? Or talk about something, and open Google and IT"S the first suggested search. Yes, they listen. yes they are sent for data mining.
Load More Replies...
Ashen Rayne 3 years ago
Not true. Today you can easily root your phone and access nearly every possible line of code in it. Plus, can you imagine how vast would be the amount of audio data that gets sent out every second, from every phone on earth? The trouble are those who don't know how s**t works. It's why Nigerian prince scam emails still rob people of thousands and social media accounts get "hacked" (almost always easy passwords or someone you accidentally shared in the past). This conspiracy of "they're always listening to everything" is BS.
Tami 3 years ago
I've also read this is not true, but companies do track your location to discover your interests. They can match up where you are with what you're interests might be. Also with who you are with, since you probably have common interests. For example, we visited a friend who'd recently installed a Murphy bed. A couple days later, we started getting ads for Murphy beds.
M 3 years ago
That's the power of Big Data. They don't need to listen to anyone, they already have enough information about you to build an eerily accurate profile on you. Turns out humans are pack animals and we do tend to conform to stereotypes
Load More Replies... Eric Forman 3 years ago (edited)
This is still not as bad as shadow accounts. Big tech like Facebook is always building a profile on you whether you use their platform or not. They collect everything about you "in case" you want to use them. They collect everything.
Laura Capshaw 3 years ago
Yep. And sometimes I see commercials on TV that are related to searches I have recently done on the internet.
#27
My Brother is an FBI Agent. Doesn't talk about work much. The two biggest takeaways I got from him over the years is that the media is a joke and he doesn't say anything on phone calls.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Phone calls are ok if you're not using GSM... use encrypted VOIP only.
While many of us have a laundry list of questions for the FBI and CIA that we’ll never know the answers to, it sure is fun to hear agents reveal the information that they can. I’m certainly not cut out for working in any of these agencies, so I’m very thankful for the people that do. Be sure to upvote the stories you find most fascinating, and let us know in the comments if you have any personal or second-hand stories from the intelligence community!
#28
I talked with some CIA recruiters towards the end of college and almost applied earnestly after a large group Q&A and then a much smaller one.
The thing that stuck out to me was that the guys said most CIA agents are out of shape and have limited combat training with guns or hand to hand. They made it clear that it’s the military that uses force. If confronted they were trained to immediately surrender or to drop their bags and run if possible.
Dave P 3 years ago
less than 2% of CIA agents ever serve in an undercover role, and in those roles their job is to blend in, not always is being fit what is needed. And the rest are desk people. Only really the Special Activities Division is where the fit hollywood types are, they are the CIA's black ops wetwork teams
Gregg Bender 3 years ago
If there are Secret Service agents around, you'll never spot most of them. You're meant to focus on the guys in suits and sunglasses...
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
The best lesson I learned about the CIA is that “nothing is like the movies.” It’s not constant crazy hunting down psycho terrorist bombers with a sick Danny Elfman soundtrack, it’s just a lot of small cases and paperwork. The exciting movie stuff doesn’t happen very often.
#29
If you apply for a job at GCHQ/MI5/MI6/Fylingdales/etc. they will talk to every member of your close family and if any minor red flags come up you might not get the job.
And also if you are Chinese/Russian/North Korean/etc. (I think that it probably goes to a grandparent or great grandparent being from that country) you will not even be able to apply.
Source: Stepdad was in MI6 and fun-fact; if he wants to go to certain countries (eg. Israel) he has to ask permission from the MOD to travel there
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
I was interviewed due to having one relative in CIA, one in Pentagon and one at NASA. I'm the dull one in the family.
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
Please tell us as the dull one in the family you are actually "The Jackal".
Load More Replies...
Erin Shaw 3 years ago
I work with police services as the court admin... and when I applied it was months of process and they too talked to everyone. I was shocked when they even talked to my neighbors lol. All good. Understand the clearance, but I never would have thought exactly how thorough it would be.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
It's too bad though that their stupidly xenophobic approach keeps them from getting insight into their enemies. It's not like the security-through-bigotry approach has helped keep them from frequently being betrayed by double agents who come through as British blue-bloods.
Renegade 3 years ago
I've been interviewed by the FBI three times once when I was still in college and my now husband was thinking about interning at the jet propulsion laboratory and twice for my BFF who worked for the department of defense and when she had to update her creds from r her current job at DOJ.
#30
I applied for a job as a computer programmer for the CIA in the 1980's which required a top-secret clearance. The application was 17 pages long and wanted to know the exact dates of any illegal drug use, your sexual proclivities as well as every place you have ever lived as well as other things. The second interview would be conducted while taking a polygraph test. I noped out on that one.
readingthequibbler 3 years ago
They obviously don't remember the exact date they accidentally ate a weed brownie.
Load More Replies... 
Nolgoth 3 years ago
I applied for a position at my sheriff dept as an IT guy for the county prison and my process so far has been the same. Like literally same questions. As for places lived and worked they only asked for last 10 years.
Renegade 3 years ago
The feds ask for every place you've lived and the name of someone who can verify the information.
Load More Replies...
kkathleen517 3 years ago
The exact date? I'm supposed to remember the exact dates I smoked weed 20+ years ago? Yeah right! Who the hell remembers something like that?
#31
I was an analyst at the NSA, AMA.
Most of the time when people see on my resume that I worked there, they want to know what I did or what it's like to work there. (btw, if you're HR and you see someone with this on their resume, please don't make it everyone's business)
What I tell people is that no matter how smart you think you are, or what your view of what's possible is, working there will redefine both of those concepts. There are offices there that worked on unimaginable things--literally stuff you would never think of.
Obviously, I can't share anything about what I learned, but I always tell people to imagine an office so specialized that their job is to measure the grease spots on satellite photos outside of foreign military bases. By analyzing the size, shape, color, and position of the grease spots, they can extrapolate all kinds of information about what goes into and out of the base (ops tempo, manning, equipment, etc.).
People talk about the 'uberization' of things, like making use of untapped assets (spare room for Airbnb, downtime for driving for Uber, etc.), but intel agencies mastered it long ago. The world around you is absolutely brimming with collectible intelligence that if leveraged and analyzed smartly, can tell you (or an adversary) a ton.
I am not special. I worked in a very compartmented area of the intel side, but I also did a night job where I cleaned up offices (because they couldn't just hire any old janitor, they needed people with clearances to empty garbage cans, etc.), and often I would talk to the people in the offices about what they do, or you'd just see it since, well... it's an office and some workspaces it is impossible to not have an idea of what's going on.
steven mayes 3 years ago
Obviously you have to clean your own office because you can't trust just anyone. But in the films where the president is shown going into some super secret area where only they have access, does this mean they would of had to clean this area, changed the dead light bulbs and taken out the rubbish of said super secret office?
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
That’s in films. Just because they’re president doesn’t mean they have access. And SCI clearance doesn’t allow access other than what one is read into. It’s so highly compartmentalized that even people within the same agency but from coming from different programs cannot share information on the same project. He’s taking about other than his Zoe I fix job, he gets a glimpse of others simply by emptying trash & cleaning. He’s still not officially privy to that info and neither is the president. This is why congress has intel committees.
Load More Replies... Uber Mensch 3 years ago
For an example, learn about 'traffic analysis" on phones. It's how Nazis learned about a lot of Jews, and why many (most?) European phone systems don't do the kind of detailed billing common here in the U.S.
Davo gifman 3 years ago
For someone who couldn't talk about what they learned; you sure did talk a lot. 🤔😑
#32
I work in the federal goverment and a lot of ex intelligence use the agency I work at as a "cool off" or transitional job before actually retiring (since my agency works with very little amounts of sensitive material) . I remember meeting a person that told me that their entire job with the CIA was to own amd manage a small advertising company that specifically worked with billboards all while being an average joe civilian. They told me that they would constantly ask what was the whole point and that all they would get as an answer was "if you get an order for an Ad to be posted on that billboard... post it, that's all you have to do" They told me they never received any particularly strange or weird requests for what to post on the boards, and that was what creeped them out the most.
Arwen 3 years ago
Presumably the specific ad displayed was some kind of code. Even if it was a normal ad, it could be a message - if an agent sees a McDonald’s ad at that location, do X. If it’s a perfume ad, do Y.
Load More Replies...
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Nice extrapolation to post #26 about most "secret stuff" happening right in front of people.
#33
Sometimes they hold fire drills just to go around and see who doesn’t lock their computer/workstation or take care of physically locking up classified materials/hard drives properly before exiting the building. And then, those people are all fired. Edit: was an intern in college.
Virginie Michaud 3 years ago
This reminds me of the fire in the Russian consulate in Montréal in 1987. They didn't allow the firemen to enter because they were destroying documents. https://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/history-through-our-eyes/history-through-our-eyes-jan-14-1987-soviet-consulate-fire
Michelle Brandt 3 years ago
I'm sorry, I was told when the alarm goes off you get out of the building. Don't turn off your computer, don't finish up that paperwork. Grab your coat/keys if you can and find the nearest exit. Who cares if you didn't lock your computer if the building is going up in flames? *drill or not, I'm not taking the time to lock my computer. I'm going to save my own hide*
Bored Panda 3 years ago
Well, apparently, you don't have the responsibility of working with secret data.
Load More Replies...
#34
Not CIA but have worked with and know guys in intelligence. Most of the intelligence we get is from OSINT (open source intel. ie news articles, press releases, news networks, and government announcements)
Most people think that everyone in intelligence is some James Bond/ Jason Bourne type of individual when in reality, the majority of analysts sit at a desk and go through news articles all day.
That said, that’s not the only method we have to gather intel, but it is where most of it comes from. Even analysts that are using other methods such as GEOINT, IMINT, and SIGINT spend their day cropping images for minute details or replaying and monitoring the same signal over and over again.
#35
I was raised by someone who worked for the FBI and grew up around a lot of people who worked there. As a kid, I was pretty surprised to learn how many of them believed in Aliens. I was even more surprised to learn how many of them believe in Angels.
John L 3 years ago
"I was even more surprised to learn how many of them believe in Angels." I can believe that, with what they know (IE horrible things). There is the old motto, "there are no atheists in foxholes."
Marek Čtrnáct 3 years ago
A motto which is rightfully disliked by actual atheists, though. Sometimes, the horrible things you see make you STOP believing.
Load More Replies...
Donna Ingram 1 week ago
This doesn't surprise me. My step-father was a flight engineer in the USAF and he said every one who flies has seen a UFO.
#36
An ex-company man once told me Get Smart was more accurate than James Bond.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
You mean the agents aren't world-famous people who walk around wearing tuxedos and getting in their targets' faces and making witty banter and sleeping with their women before "sneaking" into their top secret base and karate-chopping every guard they come across? I refuse to believe it.
#37
I was an analyst, not an agent/officer. 85% of all classified material is classified because of how it was collected, not because it is juicy/useful. Yes, your boss and co-workers said that s**t about you.
#38
Intelligence work is really boring most of the time.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Chilling in your car eating chili cheese dogs and watching a house? Sounds fun for about 5 minutes until I have to poop and my wifi runs out
#39
We have full access to google's ad network. If we really want to track someone, we use that. Not a federal agent, but like c'mon there's literally an API in the source code for it, and you think it's NOT being used?
#40
I wasn't FBI/CIA, I was NSA. But was integrated with both for a few assignments and the biggest thing is that it's all way more Office Space than Tom Clancy. Also, every cafeteria has a buffalo chicken salad day, and it's usually the best thing they serve.
#41
In college one of the store management staff that I worked with had spent several years in the Naval Intelligence group, and worked heavily with the CIA. Their mission was to monitor for potential security leaks from within the Navy, and sometimes other branches. Anyways, he told me one story that took place before the Berlin wall came down, and an NCO was trading some lower level secrets for hookers and extra spending cash. But the story was really about a Naval Intelligence super-newbie that they were training on this observation operation. They had secure channels already while they were watching one of the drops, and were talking normally over their hand-held radios from within their cars and assigned locations. This newbie, feeling full of himself, was making up code words and phrases on the fly without running them by anyone. Threw the whole operation into chaos and nearly destroyed the observation and evidence as all sorts of intelligence resources were running around, responding to this guy's nonsense, afraid that they had missed something. He was not brought along for any more observation operations. He became REAL good at handing everyone's paperwork for them.
#42
I had a customer years ago that worked for the FBI in a support role. Tech stuff, he wasn’t an agent or anything. He signed up to coach peewee soccer for his 5-year-old and met his assistant coach at the first game. Monday morning he got called into his supervisor’s office to meet with some agents. Apparently, his assistant coach was a well-known mafia boss, and they wanted to know everything he talked about. He was shocked because A) He had no idea, and B) They did.
#43
I’m not but my friend is. She’s told me she’s not allowed to have anything like Alexa, Google Home, etc. because of the security risk. Food for thought.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I don't have any type of security job, just handling files all day, Even I won't have those things in my house, I don't even like my phone on Mobile Data.
Jenny Pugh 3 years ago
I had an Echo Dot as part of a promotion. I lasted about a month before I just had to disconnect it and sell it on.
Davo gifman 3 years ago
Funny because that's why I don't have have all those. Especially Google, and Ring.
David Hartman 3 years ago
Perhaps it is food for thought but odds are your friend would be a much more interesting target for someone to listen in on than the average human
#44
The CIA Case Officer/Operations Officer job is one of the most paperwork-intensive jobs that I am aware of. And also not sure why the CIA gets rolled into so many US conspiracy theories because the agency has basically zero interest in US domestic politics unless a foreign entity is involved.
Leodavinci 3 years ago
Although there have "reportedly" been CIA black ops within the U.S., the legislation that allowed the creation of the CIA prevents it from engaging in domestic activities.
#45
95% of individuals can be uniquely identified using as few as 4 spacio-temporal points
MarioRossi 3 years ago
...even dust particles can be uniquely identified with four spatio-temporal coordinates, so what's your point?
Ikonye St. Jude 3 years ago
Wanted people to know they know the term spacio-temporal coordination
Load More Replies... #46
I have a few friends that are CIA officers. First thing is that the people that work for the CIA are not CIA agents, they are officers. The people they recruit to spy for them are agents. Also, going on a tangent, I am 90% sure I have been one of those agents when I was dealing with a Mexican logistics company while working at General Motors. The logistics company we were dealing with was owned by a multi-billion dollar Mexican clan, and all the ultra-wealthy clans in Mexico all have ties to various cartels... so some federal agencies got involved. Mainly FBI and I believe a few DEA, but one guy was specifically not wearing any badges, was not willing to identify what agency he was working for, and questioned me on a lot of specific details of what the company's capabilities were. Though getting back on track, anyone who is a US Citizen can apply to join the CIA, it isn't that hard. If you have any kind of degree in computer science, statistics, engineering, or accounting and don't have anything that would f**k up you got a clearance, and getting a job would be relatively easy there. And as implied in that previous comment, working at the CIA is far more boring than you would think. Lots of tracing manufacturing capabilities - from what I described with that Mexican logistics company to finding out how China sources the components they use to manufacture their satellites.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
I was just listening to an American podcast today like “are you willing to do anything for your country?? Yes??? Congrats, you can’t be a spy because they don’t want those kinda people that follow orders without questioning morality and intent” and I thought that was interesting
#47
U-2 spy planes flying along the DMZ between North and South Korea aren't allowed to turn towards North Korea directly. They have to perform complicated turns towards South Korea and maneuvers in flight to pull this off.
#48
My father was in the Navy and ended his career working at the pentagon. When the war started in Iraq he'd flip out every time the news pushed the weapons of mass destruction narrative. Low and behold there were none.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
People need to read more books. So many English spelling and grammar errors come from English speaking people just hearing words and phrases and never seeing them written before because they just don’t read, they were never taught to be readers because their parents don’t read. (Not including people with learning disabilities here)
Load More Replies... #49
True story: a close friend of mine had been dating this guy for a few weeks, but was getting fed up with his frequent unavailability. Sometimes he'd answer the phone and respond to texts promptly. Other times he'd go radio silent for days. He finally told her that it was because he was a special agent, and he could get them both in hot water by telling her this but, he'd been out of contact because he was on a secret mission in South America. She was suspicious but obviously wanted to believe it was true. I told her, he's either lying or he's a really s**tty secret agent spilling all this "top secret" info to someone he's just met. She gave me her phone and I texted him, "say hi you your wife for me." She never heard from him again after that. We assumed he must have been KIA.
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
Anyone that tells you they're a "spy" or other such nonsense is lying.
Jnm Genius 3 years ago
You assumed he was KIA but not that he ghosted if he was having an affair and you guys called him on it?
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
I think the comment was meant to be dark humour, implying that the wife in question killed him.
Load More Replies...
#50
FBI family members here. The tests they take aren't as driven at finding high brilliance, but brilliance with a moral center. So, if you think you are going to fool or charm them into accepting you on spec, then you're the mark. They will let a few of these personality types in for training then the degree of training will weed them out. Everything is a test, every day is a test. If you take that approach, you'll do well in the FBI.
#51
In the 80's/90's with marginal seismometers and a little computing power, people in Australia tracked nuclear explosions. That's the cover story. Think about what people with today's seismometers and supercomputers can do.
#52
My father works at NSA and doesn't tell me s**t. So I wouldn't know, but I do have one thing to say, NSA is spying on you, not the FBI.
Inigo Montoya 3 years ago
I don't really think this is all that much of a ground breaking statement.
Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
Right, pretty sure that was common knowledge already….
Load More Replies... #53
I have a former Marine friend who used to do decryption work at the Pentagon. He doesn’t talk about it much but he did say that there were a lot more friendly fire incidents than are widely reported.
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
I have heard that most deaths in war nowadays are from friendly fire. Perhaps that is slightly exaggerated, but it is very common
#54
I don't know if I'm allowed to say it but a mentor who definitely wasn't supposed to tell me used to be a white hat for the FBI. Apparently, all he did was search for pedophiles by tracking child pornography.
He said he didn't stay for very long because it was messing with his mentality
Edit: if you guys were wondering, he left to join the Navy. Became a nuke EM but they pulled him out of the program because of his cybersecurity skills and before I left our command, he was helping our CMC connect his computer to a projector. Sorry to put you in the spotlight EM1
#55
When I applied for a (clerical) position with the FBI, someone on the subway unaccountably sat next to me and asked if I’d write her son and persuade him to apply to a school for the deaf (I’m deaf myself—how could she have known I was?). so I wrote a letter, she and I met for dinner, then we went our separate ways. I’ve always wondered about this.
#56
One of my old gym buddies was the head of the FBI office in a major metropolitan city, and this man knew EVERYONE. Politicians, major gangsters, you name it. We’re about 52 years apart in age, but he’s gotta be one of the nicest dudes I’ve ever met.
#57
A professor at my college was a former CIA officer. One thing he said was that "The Year of Living Dangerously" was pretty accurate. Take that for whatever it's worth
#58
My parents’ neighbor is an FBI agent. He thinks he's above the law and can park in front of the stop sign at the end of the street. Local cops wouldn’t ticket him despite numerous complaints. Played beer pong with him at a block party. He’s an accountant. He did not like me calling him anything more than a forensic accountant with a badge.
#59
Fun fact: it’s actually pretty dirty inside the CIA. There’s a pretty decent rodent problem. Also just about anyone can visit what is called the “Hollywood” interest which is used for TV and Movies like the show Jack Ryan.
#60
The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister
Wednesday 3 years ago
Nice. There are so many people who will not get that. Etymology, my friends...
Load More Replies... 
#61
If I can trust that she's telling the truth, there's an old lady in town who was in the FBI back in 50s/60s. She said Nikita Khrushchev was a short man.
What do you think ?
Barbara Gibson 3 years ago
My Trans Asexual Wiccan college student applied for an internship. They were denied. Of all the things up there only one disqualified them. Not being interested in adult fun time. That is apparently deviant according to the FBI? Seems to me it would make you incorruptible but whatever.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I suspect they are not familiar with it or find it incredible. I get the same reactions. Since I lost interest, people just cannot believe it.
Load More Replies...
Nolgoth 3 years ago
I was a radioman on the uss providence ssn 719 during operation iraqi freedom. Had a top secret sci clearance. I filled out the background investigation stuff but they never spoke to any references listed. The cool thing about being a radioman is getting to know everything going on while a majority of the crew is in the dark. Also, just fyi, *all* incoming traffic comes through radio including emails (to the sailor's .mil address). Not sure if they still use the same program but the one we used scanned for specific words we flag and all emails were read. Both to make sure no classified info was being talked about like capabilities, location, mission but also for things that can upset a sailor while out to sea like family member dying and such. Had to hold on to some of those death/illness emails and give to the captain for him to speak to the crewmember himself at his discretion.
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
A few years ago I was on holiday with my family in Florida and at the check in desk at Sanford International on the way home I mentioned to the clerk that we had some toy guns in our cases that we had bought the kids in Disney World, he looked super pissed off and told us we should have notified the airline four weeks in advance to which I testily replied, "How am I supposed to do that when we only bought them last week?". My BIL then mentioned we had souvenir "brass" from the shooting range in our luggage also (we had kept them in chlorinated pool water for a few days so they wouldn't attract any sniffer dogs). Lo and behold, at the departure gate I was "randomly" stopped and swabbed, so I reckon I'm on a watch list somewhere, I may find out for sure if I ever try to go back.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I am confused, I thought second amendment made carrying a gun basically the same thing as carrying a bible in the States??
Load More Replies...
Nolgoth 3 years ago
My grandfather worked at the lawrence livermore national laboratory as a non degreed computer/electronics engineer. Mostly did programming. Worked on clementine (deep space program science experiment) back in 94. He set up some programs for one of the cameras on the craft. Remember him bringing home amazingly detailed lunar pictures. The whole family has asked him over the years (especially since retirement) to talk about some stuff and he would just start smiling. But as things become declassified, if he worked on them he talks about them. In more detail than any the science channel documentary could ever provide.
Ronnie Beaton 3 years ago
A friend of a friend was - officially - a medic with the Royal Marine Commandos. Unofficially - the only way his wife was able to work out where he was in the world while on deployment, was to watch the news and see where the latest "hotspot" was.
Bruce Leibee 3 years ago
Yea, because people are going to post top secret information on BP; NOT.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Nah, it's accurate. Source: me. Can't say where I work.
Load More Replies... Barbara Gibson 3 years ago
My Trans Asexual Wiccan college student applied for an internship. They were denied. Of all the things up there only one disqualified them. Not being interested in adult fun time. That is apparently deviant according to the FBI? Seems to me it would make you incorruptible but whatever.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I suspect they are not familiar with it or find it incredible. I get the same reactions. Since I lost interest, people just cannot believe it.
Load More Replies... Nolgoth 3 years ago
I was a radioman on the uss providence ssn 719 during operation iraqi freedom. Had a top secret sci clearance. I filled out the background investigation stuff but they never spoke to any references listed. The cool thing about being a radioman is getting to know everything going on while a majority of the crew is in the dark. Also, just fyi, *all* incoming traffic comes through radio including emails (to the sailor's .mil address). Not sure if they still use the same program but the one we used scanned for specific words we flag and all emails were read. Both to make sure no classified info was being talked about like capabilities, location, mission but also for things that can upset a sailor while out to sea like family member dying and such. Had to hold on to some of those death/illness emails and give to the captain for him to speak to the crewmember himself at his discretion.
Mr Zipperface 3 years ago
A few years ago I was on holiday with my family in Florida and at the check in desk at Sanford International on the way home I mentioned to the clerk that we had some toy guns in our cases that we had bought the kids in Disney World, he looked super pissed off and told us we should have notified the airline four weeks in advance to which I testily replied, "How am I supposed to do that when we only bought them last week?". My BIL then mentioned we had souvenir "brass" from the shooting range in our luggage also (we had kept them in chlorinated pool water for a few days so they wouldn't attract any sniffer dogs). Lo and behold, at the departure gate I was "randomly" stopped and swabbed, so I reckon I'm on a watch list somewhere, I may find out for sure if I ever try to go back.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I am confused, I thought second amendment made carrying a gun basically the same thing as carrying a bible in the States??
Load More Replies... Nolgoth 3 years ago
My grandfather worked at the lawrence livermore national laboratory as a non degreed computer/electronics engineer. Mostly did programming. Worked on clementine (deep space program science experiment) back in 94. He set up some programs for one of the cameras on the craft. Remember him bringing home amazingly detailed lunar pictures. The whole family has asked him over the years (especially since retirement) to talk about some stuff and he would just start smiling. But as things become declassified, if he worked on them he talks about them. In more detail than any the science channel documentary could ever provide.
Ronnie Beaton 3 years ago
A friend of a friend was - officially - a medic with the Royal Marine Commandos. Unofficially - the only way his wife was able to work out where he was in the world while on deployment, was to watch the news and see where the latest "hotspot" was.
Bruce Leibee 3 years ago
Yea, because people are going to post top secret information on BP; NOT.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Nah, it's accurate. Source: me. Can't say where I work.
Load More Replies... You May Like 52 Things That Can Result In An Introvert Hangover 50 Wholesome Internet Moments That Prove The Online World Isn’t All Doom And Gloom “Her Scream Has Been Imprinted On My Heart”: 40 Moments That Left Hospital Staff Shaken
Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė
Mariia Tkachenko
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
