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People Tear This Dad Apart Online After He Seeks Support Because Wife Won’t Forgive His Prank
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People Tear This Dad Apart Online After He Seeks Support Because Wife Won’t Forgive His Prank

People Tear This Dad Apart Online After He Seeks Support Because Wife Won’t Forgive His PrankDad Scares His Son To Death, Tells Wife To Get Over Being Upset With Him About ItMan Finds No Forgiveness After His Prank Leaves Son Shaking And Crying, Plays The Victim“Get Over It”: Man Demands Wife Forgive And Forget The Prank That Sent Their Son Into A PanicMom Refuses To Forgive Husband After Prank Leaves Son Traumatized, Is Told To “Get Over It”Wife Barely Talks To Husband After His Prank On 8YO, He Doesn’t Think It Was A Big DealDad Prank Scares His Son, Is Upset With Wife Still Being Mad About It Days Later“Complete Mama Bear”: Dad Annoyed With Wife Staying Angry At Him For Prank That Scared Their Son“I Fully Admit I Messed Up”: Dad Jump Scares His Son, Can’t Take Wife Being Mad At Him AnymoreMom Is Furious Husband And Daughter Decided To Scare Son:
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Many people—young and old—absolutely hate practical jokes and jumpscares; typically for a reason, be it simply not finding them amusing or having a personal experience that was disturbing at best.

This redditor’s son might grow up to be one of said people. When his 10-year-old sister suggested pranking him, the dad did not realize how big of a shock it would be for the child and how big of a fight with his wife it would put him in.

Seeking to learn more about how pranks can affect children, Bored Panda turned to the founder and director of the Child’s Play, Learning, and Development Lab, a professor in the School of Education at the University of Delaware, Dr. Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

Many people hate practical jokes, usually not without a reason

Image credits: choreograph / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

This dad got into a huge fight with his wife after pranking his 9-year-old son

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Image credits: nd3000 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Small-Elephant9195

Parents should provide their children with support, not with a traumatizing event to recover from

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Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / pexels (not the actual photo)

Discussing the occurrence with Bored Panda, Dr. Roberta Michnick Golinkoff emphasized that the child did not need to expend all his energy and emotion on recovering from the prank. “Parents are there to support their kids and not to increase their fears and trauma. I repeat: Parents are protectors not torturers. And anyone who says, ‘Oh, that kid will recover’ fails to see the depth of that child’s reaction and how he will be afraid for longer than he needs to be when he enters an empty or dark room,” the expert said.

Whether or not parents find pranking kids funny, the latter most likely don’t. “Not only are they not able to cognitively understand the humour, but they’re also the butt of a joke. And there’s a violation of trust,” developmental psychologist at York St John University and expert in how children develop humor, Paige Davis pointed out in a piece for BBC, discussing the mixed feelings pranks evoke in children.

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Another expert, a child psychotherapist and spokesperson for the Association of Child Psychotherapists (ACP) in the UK, Rachel Melville-Thomas, added that pranking your offspring might not necessarily make them hyper-vigilant, but it can result in them thinking that the parent can do it again, because of the way our brains are wired.

Pranking children, especially seeking online fame, is needlessly cruel

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

Children losing trust in adults or being frightened they might scare them again are arguably two of the main reasons some individuals would never consider pranking kids. A survey on potential April Fool’s targets found that more than half of pranksters—56% to be exact—would never joke around at the expense of a young child. Unfortunately, some people would; and to make matters worse, they might do it “for the likes”.

“My sense is that parents prank on just what they know will trigger their children. If that sounds cruel and heartless, it is because it is,” Dr. Michnick Golinkoff said, adding that pranking kids has apparently become a new trend and it is awful.

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“Before you prank a child, consider whether that is the best way to generate a few laughs,” the expert suggested. “Posting the child’s reaction on social media should be prohibited because I think in some cases, this is the parent’s motivation in hopes that it will go viral. Please, no. Please think about how you would have felt as a child to have the rug pulled out from under you.”

Dr. Michnick Golinkoff continued to point out that there’s nothing wrong with lightly teasing your child—only if not in a cruel way!— or using humor with them. But, according to her, people who care about kids should recognize that pranking does not come from a caring place; which is arguably why quite a few netizens in the comments criticized the OP for his behavior.

Quite a few netizens believed the dad was in the wrong here

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Some people, however, shared a different opinion

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Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

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Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Insomniac
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never comprehend why terrorizing children is amusing to adults. Kids look to parents to feel safe, secure, loved. The world is harsh enough. Home should be a place of peace and sanctuary. The kid is only nine. His mental capacity is limited, and it could take him months or years before he feels really safe at home again. Childhood experiences, even sometimes minor ones, can stick with a kid. It happens often enough by accident. It's beyond me why the dad would deliberately inflict one on his child. How is that amusing? You scared a vulnerable human who depends on you for safety and security. People may say I'm overreacting, but read up on the neurobiology of childhood development and what traumatic experiences do to that. The dad is a big time AH.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can tell you from personal experience that negative/bad stuff that our parents do to us/say to us in single-digit childhood can stay with us - and hurt and harm us - for DECADES. I'm not going to get into all of the actual abuses my mom did to me when I was a child (one example to set the tone though: she pressed a real gun to my throat when I was 6 and said she would unalive me) but I am 42 now and I still have nightmares about a lot of the incidents, including the one I mentioned. I still remember them all clearly. I still think about them. They still affect me. I still have not forgiven my mother (who is now 80 years old) for any of the abuse. OP obliterated the trust his son had in him as a parent, a protector, and a safe adult. OP's son may literally NEVER trust OP again. You are 100% correct and not overreacting at all in what you said. Thank you for saying it <3

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Linda Lee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where's the part where the dad apologized to his son? Oh, that's right, he didn't mean any harm so no reason to apologize for traumatizing his son. Because you only apologize if something bad happens ...on purpose?

Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm thinking the same thing. He's stuck on intention. But bluntly, it means zip. If you hit someone with your bike, you hurt them, whether you meant to or not. What matters is how the injured party feels, not whether or not the person who hurt them meant to do it. Same thing here, except that Dad DID mean to scare him (just not so much, in Dad's opinion). OP is completely invalidating his son's feelings with the "I didn't mean to!" defensiveness. He scared him. On purpose. The son was traumatised. Dad needs to apologise. That's it.

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Zoe Vokes
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA simply because he didn’t mention how his son is feeling. Is the son over it? Is he still upset? OP is annoyed that his wife is upset with him, but maybe that’s because the son is still upset. Plus anybody who enjoys pranking people is automatically an AH

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ‘good’ kind of pranks are hiding little rubber duckies everywhere or switiching out a photograph in a frame for something silly and seeing how long it takes for somebody to notice! The ones that aren’t hard to clean up and that don’t make a person the butt of the joke.

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Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's interesting that at no point does OP say he apologised to his son for scaring him. As others have pointed out he definitely should be talking this out with the kid, but a very heartfelt "I'm so sorry I scared you." is in order. Intention means zip, it's the kid's feelings that matter. Think of it this way: If you run over someone's foot with your car, you hurt them, whether you meant to or not. It's the feelings of the injured party that matter, not whether or not the person who hurt them meant to do it. Same principle here, except in this case OP DID mean to scare the kid. I'd still be pissed if I was his wife too, and I'd stay that way until my partner made it right with our son.

Fembot
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When kids are around that age, they know real from pretend. They may not be easily spooked by monsters under the bed but they will begin to fear things that could happen in real life: from heavy storms to burglary to things they see in the media. And losing loved ones. So coming home in the dark to find scary people in your house instead of dad and sis: very frightening! Dad needs to get some parenting 101

Deborah B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude. Letting his sister jump out and say "boo" would have made him jump, and been funny to your daughter, and startled and irritated your son, and he would have been okay. But that's not what happened. You took her idea and ran with it. Masks, dimmed the lights, phone call set up. Instead of being the responsible parent and keeping chaos in check, thinking about consequenses, your son's reaction etc, you acted like a teenage prankster. You betrayed your son's trust, and scared him into crisis mode. Your wife is pissed off, because instead of having a co-parent who shares the responsibility of parenthood, she has an emotionally immature a*****e making things worse. You get to be the fun parent for your daughter, she gets to take on the emotional labour of reassuring your betrayed son who's having a panic attack. She's upset because you are abdicating all the mental and emotional labour and parenting to her, instead of a partner to share the load, she has another kid, who's a jackass.

Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure they yelled in the jump scare. If kids had pulled the pranks, high voices. A grown man yelling or growling is terror.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he be forgiven when he hasn't don't anything to earn forgiveness? Recognising you sxrewed up is a necessary first step, but an apology isn't action to address the concern. Saying sorry, even feeling sorry isn't enough, it's what changes after that counts. He hasn't mentioned how his interactions have been since with his son, or what he's don't to make up for being a d**k. He's keen to talk about cold shoulder, but doesn't even seem to notice he should be doing something other than say oops

Phillip Moderow
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny Home Videos on TV showed a boy take his pet white mouse outside. He placed the cage on a stand, opened the cage, and was handling his mouse when BAM!!! A hawk swooped in and snatched it right out of his hand. The video camera, on a tripod, caught it all including the shock and horror on that poor boy's face. I'm not sure if the boy got over it, but I haven't because it traumatized me. That was the last TV I ever watched. The video camera on the tripod told me that it was a setup by the parents just to get on TV. They should go to prison for doing that. And the audience laughed. It really hurt.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's probably upset that you don't know your son well enough to know if he would find it funny or not.

Ivona
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor boy thought these two scary creatures were burglars. It's a miracle he didn't run out of the house or dial 911.

Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the comment that 'it's not normal to hold a grudge for so long'. Who exactly gets to decide that? What is the normal time-span for holding a grudge? The same with 'she should be over it by now'. And you're the one who decides that? Of course you want your wife to get over it asap because that benefits you but not her. OP appears to have no empathy at all when it comes to his actions and their effect on his wife and son.

Colby DeYoung
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, the mom should totally keep making her daughter feel guilty because it was her idea to scare the son. How is holding a grudge helpful in any way? Mom feels bad, treats Dad badly which makes daughter feel bad. In no way does this help son feel better. But sure, hold a grudge as long as you want. Focusing on negative things as long as possible is always the best move.

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Broad Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm gonna guess the Mum is still pissed off because this is only the latest in a string of dumb things. She's probably totally fed up. This might be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'm gonna guess the Mom is still pissed because the Dad robbed the 7/11 the weekend before, and this is just the latest in a string of totally violent and criminal acts. Of course, my guess is also a stupid guess, and has no information to back it up either. Fun game.

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R Dennis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I probably would have just told the sister to do it, but wouldn't have done it myself. Nine is awfully young to do something like that. I did scare my teen daughter and her friends when they had a sleepover - they were in her room and I told them to be careful of monsters or something like that, so they figured I was going to scare them. I put on a s Halloween mask and stood at the door. I heard one of her friends say "Watch me not get scared" and they opened the door... they did get scared. They all shrieked and slammed the door in a fit of laughter. 20 years later and they still talk about it. They were teens, I would never have done it if they were 9 or 10.

Jenna Kay
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom jumped out at me from inside my closet when I was a young teen. I fell down, but I am a graceful person, so didn't spill my glass of juice. So I stood up, and poured the entire contents of my cup on her head. I said I was graceful, not sweet.

Weasel Wise
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents used to pull "pranks" on me all the time, especially my dad. Come adulthood, I've learned that this was just another trait of their codependent narcissism and it's one of the reasons I don't talk to them. Parents scaring the shìt outta their kids isn't fukcing funny!

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think he made an honest (and terrible) mistake and I'd almost say he regrets it but OP doesn't think too hard, as we already know. Like hello, are the lights up there on OP? Take the initiative on the next step and take your son out for a fun dad-son day and genuinely apologize and tell him you're here to protect him, always. No wonder Mom is a "mama bear," she has to do all the emotional labor.

Alexandra Nara
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why worrying about the woman, he should rather take care that his son is okay .. Not mention this part of " being sorry" is kinda red flag.. like a kid that cries about,it didn't meant to make a mess ,but still not help to clean up

Panda Bear
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first rule of pranks is know your audience. If the person you’re pranking gets scared easily, don’t prank them!

Tams21
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If op didn't know how his kid would react then he should have, or at least some idea. Even if not, anyone using a bit of common sense would know that the prank could backfire. And even then, I'd have to ask myself what the motivation was, having a laugh at the expense of a child? It might have not been malicious but after all that, as his wife I would be seriously reconsidering his suitability as a father and it certainly sounds like that's exactly what she's doing. If I were in her shoes and saw this post then my mind would be made up.

Michael MacKinnon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think prankster has to promise to ***never again*** prank (and stick to it). And apologize to his son and wife. Then, maybe, he can get out of the doghouse.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA . Pranking is infantile and mean. I just don't get why peeps find it funny. It's up there with videos of peeps accidentally hurting/injuring themselves, and their friends/family post them for laughs - much worse when it's kids & animals.

Space Invader
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's asking the wrong questions. The son's intense reaction hints at a deeper anxiety being triggered, and he should sit down and talk with him to find out what it is. It might be the particulars of one of the masks. But more likely it was his perception of his place of comfort and security being compromised - suggesting something out there scaring or worrying him so he longs for safety - or the fear of not finding two people he deeply cares about where he expected them to be - hinting that he has some reason to fear loss or abandonment. Or he was scared because he thought the whole family lied or ganged up on him (he couldn't have known the mother wasn't in on it at the time). Help him discover his true fears by talking to him, and do your best to allay them. Then your wife can forgive you. Don't ask AITA, ask HCISBTA (How can I stop being the a***)

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has nothing to do with the masks. It has to do with being a young child and coming home to your safe home, where you expect to be safe with your family, who will also be safe forever. Then - the house is dark and suddenly two complete strangers (as far as you can tell, they're strangers) LEAP OUT at you and yell. A child of 9 will think his family got murdered while he was at his friend's house, and these people are the murderers who stayed in his house in order to murder him as well. Kids aren't rational or logical. The kid didn't have any underlying anxieties or complexes - it does not imply he was already scared or worried for his safety BEFORE the "prank". It just means he's a NORMAL CHILD who knows his home is a safe place where nothing bad will ever happen - that's how kids THINK if they're not already being abused/mistreated. There's no "true fears" here. There's only a mean a-hole of an adult who thought it would be funny to scare his 9-year-old son.

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Watermelon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okayyyy, so this man-child had zero idea his son would react that way. Doesn't sound like he has even taken the time to get to know his own kid.

Juanita Sullivan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of stuff makes my blood boil. I had so called pranks pulled on me as a kid and it really messed me up. If this man's son ever trusts him again it'll be a miracle. In this day and age where just about everything is scary in society, with all the school shootings, bullying, and so on, kids are on edge even if they don't say much. Home should be a safe space. I don't mean kids should be coddled, not at all. I'm with the wife on this one all the way.

Charlie Haase
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s nine, you d**k. You’re a major league a*****e, and I’d be surprised if he or your wife ever truly forgive you. Go screw.

brookeannsimmer
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who think scaring children is 'harmless fun' are the same people that think hitting them is 'discipline'. Abuse against children is something they've already normalized.

Damned_Cat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People don't realize how they harm the child's trust in their parents when they do this stuff. My mom used to pull a lot of pranks on me and then get mad if something went wrong. Like one time she talked me into blowing up a big balloon until it burst. A piece of the latex went down my throat and we ended up in ER to get it removed. Another time we went to the mountains in late winter when the snow was mostly hard mush. She caught me off guard with a hard snowball that split my lip and loosened my tooth. Another trip to the ER. Of course, it was all my fault for ruining everyone's good time. My mom could never understand why I always questioned her motives later in life.

Child of the Stars
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pranks in any form are cruel and it doesn't matter the intention. My dad played a relatively harmless prank by borrowing some Disneyland tickets from some friends who had just returned and told us we were going. I was really disappointed and frankly hurt when I found out we weren't actually going. Pregnancy pranks, scare pranks, it doesn't matter they're all horrible and anyone who engages in them or defends people who do them are horrible people who I want nothing to do with.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad needed to be reamed out for this. He + daughter went overboard: scary masks, dim lights, hiding behind furniture, etc.

varwenea
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like OP isn't telling the whole truth. The wife repeats the words - you should have known better, which implies there's an underlying sensitivity about their son. Worse, if OP and daughter both knew and used it against the son anyway, then that's just f'd up.

Lily
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear dad, you have now scarred your child. You think it was a prank, haha. YOU scared the hell out of your child, and they were traumatized. You don’t get to write this off as a joke. You’re a fecking idiot and deserve the silent treatment until that child recovers.

Beak Hookage
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had the "jump out at someone" prank pulled on me more than once as a kid and the perpetrator didn't seem to understand why I always reacted by getting angry and shouting at them.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA a grown man wearing a scary mask and jumping out from behind a couch in the dark to scare his young son after the son has been away all day? WHAT could possibly go wrong? Next time? Leave the pranking? Up to your daughter you ahole. Did you even immediately comfort your son and apologise? No wonder you are still in the doghouse. Your son was tired and most likely emotional after a long day.

Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some more details from the reddit post: he did apologize to his son and so did the sister, he and the sister comforted the brother immediately, he thought the son would laugh, he said the son "seems over it".

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I needed to read was he pulled a prank.. and YTA, full stop. No compromise, period. F**k that guy.

Iyelatu
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was viral yesterday in my country: husband pranked his wife - send her video or something about him bringing his 'affair partner' home. The wife was at the office, rushed back home (while crying i imagine) got into an accident and died on the spot. It was her birthday. Prank? That was just cruel joke. I hope her husband will rot!

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad doubling down makes him the a*****e. Pranks are meant to be funny not traumatise. No apology from dad, or sister, I note.

Ephemera Image
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frightening and terrorising a nine year old? 'But it was a PRAAANK!' The battle cry of stupid vicious people who enjoy seeing other people humiliated and hurt. Ugh. So sick of them.

AD Sully
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't really think this story is a great example of what I'm about to say, but my personal experience with pranking (observing or being the butt of one) is that the person who comes up with the idea is usually, on some level, a sadist who enjoys other people's discomfort/fear. And the people who go along are too wary of the sadist to protest.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh, the one place in the whole world where your son should feel safe, and you f****d that up. Well done.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of jerk-face-Jimmy on late nite tv who tells parents to take ALL their kids Halloween candy + tell the kids the parents ate it. Are you TRYING to get your kids to hate you? Hope you don't plan on living with your kids when you get old + sick cuz they're going to say, "My parents are *dead*."

Marianne
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. Should he have known better? Absolutely. Would I be mad at him if I was his wife? Absolutely. But would I stay mad for days? Probably not. It seems that he realized his misjudgement and he is sorry. I do hope that he apologized to his son and tried to reconnect to him. There is no good in making this an ongoing conflict.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the wife is overly sensitive, and you're raising an overly sensitive future man-baby.

Just stopping by
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but this is an overreaction. My dad did pranks like that all the time and yes with the mask and all. I think I'd need more information about the son. Like does he have anxiety? Panic attacks? Prone to big emotions? Regardless he needs to apologize and talk to his son during some one on one time to make it up to him. Let him know it was bad judgement on his part and limit those types of activities to his daughter since they have that type of humor.

London Paris
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn but people are overly precious and sensitive today, y'all need to ditch the cotton wool and live a little. A 9 year old overly precious child got a fright and had a melt down and I'm getting that the casual reference to "mama bear" got missed by a lot of people. Overly protected can lead to just as much anxiety as "left to feral", especially if the kid is wrapped in cotton wool and not allowed to experience normal life. He got a fright? Awww, get over it kid and tell momma bear to back off so you can experience interacting with people. Btw: the kids not traumatized, he got a fright and apparently had no taught resilience and then got babied by an overly protective parent. The kid wasn't "terrorized", he wasn't chased around the house by the father pretending to carry a chain saw, he wasn't hung over a pit of fake snakes, he just received a fright . . . . . NTA but needs to have a long conversation with his partner about parenting styles and goals in bringing up the kid.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you serious? A young child was expecting to come home to a house with lights on. Instead? He came home to a house in darkness, and his older sister and father were wearing scary masks jumping out at him and yelling. His father didn't apologise for scaring the c**p out of him, and you think the child is over protected? He would have been tired after being away all day. Seriously. Of course, he had a meltdown. The father should have apologised and comforted his son. He didn't. He ignored his son until his wife came home. Then, he became a concerned parent.

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Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NAH. Depending on how much care they took to make it scary, the prank itself isn't all that bad. (Tho with the caveat that if he knew his son was sensitive, that would make him TA.) But it sounds like he didn't do much to apologize to/ comfort his child, and of COURSE his wife his mad at him! Especially because it sounds like, instead of accepting his guilt and working on it, he's making excuses and blaming her for being mad at him. I think it was an honest accidental screw-up that WAS a pretty basic, mild prank, but I also think his wife is totally justified in being mad at him, and he needs to take accountability and really connect more with his son.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? So, you think it is acceptable to scare a child who has been away all day and is very likely tired? Grow up.

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Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh FFS. Dude messed up and admitted it. There's a lot of self-imagined perfect people casting judgment. The mother is being unreasonable.

Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet mom gets the kids to prank dad back. That would make it more even. Or the son and her are plotting a prank on dad an sis. That's the fun family way to handle it so the little boy isn't scared forever and mom needs to lighten up.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If mom pranks them back after acting like a shut-in the past week, she needs some serious readjustment herself.

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The Big Bad
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He admitted it went bad and too far. It just wasn't the right prank for this kid at this moment. At the same time it sometimes is fun to do scary pranks and I'm saying this as the youngest sister who got pranked monthly by two older brothers. They scared the schnitzel out of me. They'd unexpectedly came to our cabin for instance. I was staying there with friends when we were 12 or something. And in the dark they went around and in the cabin with Halloween masks scaring the c**p out of us. We all laughed and talked about it for ages. Difference being we were all in the mood for scary stuff. And knowing my brothers, I'd seen it coming... For the mum in the story, Yes it went wrong and you were right to blame your husband, he should've known better. BUT if your boy is still scared after days, there are probably underlying issues he needs help for. Maybe something that happened in school that your husband didnt even know about. Talk with your husband and try to forgive him.

whiterabbit
Community Member
1 month ago

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Lol. Jesus christ people are so overly sensitive nowadays. It was a joke. I'd never marry somebody who would give me the cold shoulder for days over something so minor. I was borderline obsessed with scary movies at that kid's age and my siblings/parents and I were constantly trying to prank/scare eachother. We all somehow managed to survive.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life spans tend to go down SIGNIFICANTLY for these people who choose to live their lives with a stick firmly planted up their anoos. That's not healthy.

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tracy black
Community Member
1 month ago

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both the mother and the kid should suk it up and get over it geez no wonder we are a country of whiney crybabies it was a prank the world aint gonna sugarcoat everything there is some very scary s**t out there grow up

Roberta Schrote
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wonder we are a country of entitled bullies who, among other things, can't write a grammatically correct sentence. Like the father, you don't recognize that the intention ('it was a prank') doesn't matter more than how it was received. There is some very scary s**t out there and now this child's home is included. Grow up? To be an indifferent, callous, a-hole who enjoys seeing kids so scared they soil themselves? Who decided that was the goal?

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sofacushionfort
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

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Little girl manipulated daddy to prank brother. He was legitimately terrorized but milked it until mom came home, so he could manipulate her own dissatisfaction at having to work late hours into leverage against dad and sis. Kids really are selfish devious little actors. This is a household run by the kids

similarly
Community Member
1 month ago

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Okay, maybe I'M the a-hole here, but they jumped out and shouted. It's not like dad revved up and chainsaw and chased him around the house or pretended to be a burglar and mugged him. They hid behind the sofa and then jumped out. Maybe it's because I had older brothers, but my brothers and I did this too each other all the time growing up! My parents never did jump-scares, but my Mom would throw a blanket over her head and pretend to be a ghost, and when I was little, I thought THAT was scary. But the Mom is giving Dad the silent treatment? Weaponizing communication in a marriage? I'm mad at you so I'm cutting you off? No. Just no. Never do that. Punishing your partner doesn't belong in a marriage. To me, that's WAY more immature and dysfunctional than Dad's jumpscare.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When burglars, murderers, or crazy people break into a house, they generally hide when they hear someone coming home/coming into the house. And I imagine a hypothetical someone who broke into the house and murdered the kid's dad and older sister would probably, you know, JUMP OUT and YELL at the kid as well, and then proceed to grab him and murder him as well. Bit of a stretch of the imagination? No, it's not. People get murdered in their own homes every single day. You're a complete a-hole if you think it's acceptable that the dad hid in a dark room and then leapt out at his son while shouting at him. The son IS A CHILD. He doesn't have logic down pat yet, but probably has plenty of imagination, like children tend to. He probably thought it was a murderer or a monster. Punishing your partner doesn't belong in a marriage, but terrorizing your nine-year-old child DOES?

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FluffyDreg
Community Member
1 month ago

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I... don't think any of the YTA read the post or the question. "Hey I f*cked up and tried to play a prank on my son... but it absolutely terrified him. I get I was wrong but should I be punished for over a week with my family being mean to me even though I've apready accepted I was wrong?" "YTA how dare you scare your son"

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t think you understand context. If a nine year old’s first reaction is to run off in a fit of terror that doesn’t stop until mum gets home to comfort him, and the dad ‘only’ accepts that he’s in the wrong but doesn’t explain if or how he tried to make it up to his son (get him icecream, sit down and apologise, et cetera), then yeah, the YTA people have a right to say ‘YTA’; it’s not ONLY the prank they’re upset about, they’re mostly upset that the dad doesn’t seem to have SHOWN that he was apologetic. Nine year olds often need more than a ‘sorry’.

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Ben Aziza
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

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What was the guy thinking? Sure the kid wanting to scare her brother is ok but the dad? A full on adult agreeig with it? I dunno man he is an a*****e for that. But yeh staying angry so long you also make the daughter feel bad... It is bad but not weeks of anger bad... i dunno. If he apologied to his kid and had the daughter do the same then it sould be enough.

John Harrison
Community Member
1 month ago

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Wow, this is actually a rational AITA, and not the usual contrived, click-baity outrage fest. Maybe BP is turning over a new leaf? HA HA HA HA HA HA , juuuust kidding. NTA, btw.

_-DungeonKeeper-_
Community Member
1 month ago

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NTA, if you think this guy is horrible for not seeing the future to see if the child would be scared you can just stop replying to these posts. Sometimes you'll be scared, sometimes you'll laugh it off

Insomniac
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child is a child. WTF kind of adult finds amusement in frightening a child? If you don't know what will scare your kid, you're a terrible parent anyhow. If you decide to do something for your own amusement that even has a chance of scaring your child, you're an even worse parent. Kids need to feel safe at home with their parents.

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Insomniac
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never comprehend why terrorizing children is amusing to adults. Kids look to parents to feel safe, secure, loved. The world is harsh enough. Home should be a place of peace and sanctuary. The kid is only nine. His mental capacity is limited, and it could take him months or years before he feels really safe at home again. Childhood experiences, even sometimes minor ones, can stick with a kid. It happens often enough by accident. It's beyond me why the dad would deliberately inflict one on his child. How is that amusing? You scared a vulnerable human who depends on you for safety and security. People may say I'm overreacting, but read up on the neurobiology of childhood development and what traumatic experiences do to that. The dad is a big time AH.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can tell you from personal experience that negative/bad stuff that our parents do to us/say to us in single-digit childhood can stay with us - and hurt and harm us - for DECADES. I'm not going to get into all of the actual abuses my mom did to me when I was a child (one example to set the tone though: she pressed a real gun to my throat when I was 6 and said she would unalive me) but I am 42 now and I still have nightmares about a lot of the incidents, including the one I mentioned. I still remember them all clearly. I still think about them. They still affect me. I still have not forgiven my mother (who is now 80 years old) for any of the abuse. OP obliterated the trust his son had in him as a parent, a protector, and a safe adult. OP's son may literally NEVER trust OP again. You are 100% correct and not overreacting at all in what you said. Thank you for saying it <3

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Linda Lee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where's the part where the dad apologized to his son? Oh, that's right, he didn't mean any harm so no reason to apologize for traumatizing his son. Because you only apologize if something bad happens ...on purpose?

Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm thinking the same thing. He's stuck on intention. But bluntly, it means zip. If you hit someone with your bike, you hurt them, whether you meant to or not. What matters is how the injured party feels, not whether or not the person who hurt them meant to do it. Same thing here, except that Dad DID mean to scare him (just not so much, in Dad's opinion). OP is completely invalidating his son's feelings with the "I didn't mean to!" defensiveness. He scared him. On purpose. The son was traumatised. Dad needs to apologise. That's it.

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Zoe Vokes
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA simply because he didn’t mention how his son is feeling. Is the son over it? Is he still upset? OP is annoyed that his wife is upset with him, but maybe that’s because the son is still upset. Plus anybody who enjoys pranking people is automatically an AH

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ‘good’ kind of pranks are hiding little rubber duckies everywhere or switiching out a photograph in a frame for something silly and seeing how long it takes for somebody to notice! The ones that aren’t hard to clean up and that don’t make a person the butt of the joke.

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Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's interesting that at no point does OP say he apologised to his son for scaring him. As others have pointed out he definitely should be talking this out with the kid, but a very heartfelt "I'm so sorry I scared you." is in order. Intention means zip, it's the kid's feelings that matter. Think of it this way: If you run over someone's foot with your car, you hurt them, whether you meant to or not. It's the feelings of the injured party that matter, not whether or not the person who hurt them meant to do it. Same principle here, except in this case OP DID mean to scare the kid. I'd still be pissed if I was his wife too, and I'd stay that way until my partner made it right with our son.

Fembot
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When kids are around that age, they know real from pretend. They may not be easily spooked by monsters under the bed but they will begin to fear things that could happen in real life: from heavy storms to burglary to things they see in the media. And losing loved ones. So coming home in the dark to find scary people in your house instead of dad and sis: very frightening! Dad needs to get some parenting 101

Deborah B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude. Letting his sister jump out and say "boo" would have made him jump, and been funny to your daughter, and startled and irritated your son, and he would have been okay. But that's not what happened. You took her idea and ran with it. Masks, dimmed the lights, phone call set up. Instead of being the responsible parent and keeping chaos in check, thinking about consequenses, your son's reaction etc, you acted like a teenage prankster. You betrayed your son's trust, and scared him into crisis mode. Your wife is pissed off, because instead of having a co-parent who shares the responsibility of parenthood, she has an emotionally immature a*****e making things worse. You get to be the fun parent for your daughter, she gets to take on the emotional labour of reassuring your betrayed son who's having a panic attack. She's upset because you are abdicating all the mental and emotional labour and parenting to her, instead of a partner to share the load, she has another kid, who's a jackass.

Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure they yelled in the jump scare. If kids had pulled the pranks, high voices. A grown man yelling or growling is terror.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he be forgiven when he hasn't don't anything to earn forgiveness? Recognising you sxrewed up is a necessary first step, but an apology isn't action to address the concern. Saying sorry, even feeling sorry isn't enough, it's what changes after that counts. He hasn't mentioned how his interactions have been since with his son, or what he's don't to make up for being a d**k. He's keen to talk about cold shoulder, but doesn't even seem to notice he should be doing something other than say oops

Phillip Moderow
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny Home Videos on TV showed a boy take his pet white mouse outside. He placed the cage on a stand, opened the cage, and was handling his mouse when BAM!!! A hawk swooped in and snatched it right out of his hand. The video camera, on a tripod, caught it all including the shock and horror on that poor boy's face. I'm not sure if the boy got over it, but I haven't because it traumatized me. That was the last TV I ever watched. The video camera on the tripod told me that it was a setup by the parents just to get on TV. They should go to prison for doing that. And the audience laughed. It really hurt.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's probably upset that you don't know your son well enough to know if he would find it funny or not.

Ivona
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor boy thought these two scary creatures were burglars. It's a miracle he didn't run out of the house or dial 911.

Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the comment that 'it's not normal to hold a grudge for so long'. Who exactly gets to decide that? What is the normal time-span for holding a grudge? The same with 'she should be over it by now'. And you're the one who decides that? Of course you want your wife to get over it asap because that benefits you but not her. OP appears to have no empathy at all when it comes to his actions and their effect on his wife and son.

Colby DeYoung
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, the mom should totally keep making her daughter feel guilty because it was her idea to scare the son. How is holding a grudge helpful in any way? Mom feels bad, treats Dad badly which makes daughter feel bad. In no way does this help son feel better. But sure, hold a grudge as long as you want. Focusing on negative things as long as possible is always the best move.

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Broad Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm gonna guess the Mum is still pissed off because this is only the latest in a string of dumb things. She's probably totally fed up. This might be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago

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I'm gonna guess the Mom is still pissed because the Dad robbed the 7/11 the weekend before, and this is just the latest in a string of totally violent and criminal acts. Of course, my guess is also a stupid guess, and has no information to back it up either. Fun game.

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R Dennis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I probably would have just told the sister to do it, but wouldn't have done it myself. Nine is awfully young to do something like that. I did scare my teen daughter and her friends when they had a sleepover - they were in her room and I told them to be careful of monsters or something like that, so they figured I was going to scare them. I put on a s Halloween mask and stood at the door. I heard one of her friends say "Watch me not get scared" and they opened the door... they did get scared. They all shrieked and slammed the door in a fit of laughter. 20 years later and they still talk about it. They were teens, I would never have done it if they were 9 or 10.

Jenna Kay
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom jumped out at me from inside my closet when I was a young teen. I fell down, but I am a graceful person, so didn't spill my glass of juice. So I stood up, and poured the entire contents of my cup on her head. I said I was graceful, not sweet.

Weasel Wise
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents used to pull "pranks" on me all the time, especially my dad. Come adulthood, I've learned that this was just another trait of their codependent narcissism and it's one of the reasons I don't talk to them. Parents scaring the shìt outta their kids isn't fukcing funny!

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think he made an honest (and terrible) mistake and I'd almost say he regrets it but OP doesn't think too hard, as we already know. Like hello, are the lights up there on OP? Take the initiative on the next step and take your son out for a fun dad-son day and genuinely apologize and tell him you're here to protect him, always. No wonder Mom is a "mama bear," she has to do all the emotional labor.

Alexandra Nara
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why worrying about the woman, he should rather take care that his son is okay .. Not mention this part of " being sorry" is kinda red flag.. like a kid that cries about,it didn't meant to make a mess ,but still not help to clean up

Panda Bear
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first rule of pranks is know your audience. If the person you’re pranking gets scared easily, don’t prank them!

Tams21
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If op didn't know how his kid would react then he should have, or at least some idea. Even if not, anyone using a bit of common sense would know that the prank could backfire. And even then, I'd have to ask myself what the motivation was, having a laugh at the expense of a child? It might have not been malicious but after all that, as his wife I would be seriously reconsidering his suitability as a father and it certainly sounds like that's exactly what she's doing. If I were in her shoes and saw this post then my mind would be made up.

Michael MacKinnon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think prankster has to promise to ***never again*** prank (and stick to it). And apologize to his son and wife. Then, maybe, he can get out of the doghouse.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA . Pranking is infantile and mean. I just don't get why peeps find it funny. It's up there with videos of peeps accidentally hurting/injuring themselves, and their friends/family post them for laughs - much worse when it's kids & animals.

Space Invader
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's asking the wrong questions. The son's intense reaction hints at a deeper anxiety being triggered, and he should sit down and talk with him to find out what it is. It might be the particulars of one of the masks. But more likely it was his perception of his place of comfort and security being compromised - suggesting something out there scaring or worrying him so he longs for safety - or the fear of not finding two people he deeply cares about where he expected them to be - hinting that he has some reason to fear loss or abandonment. Or he was scared because he thought the whole family lied or ganged up on him (he couldn't have known the mother wasn't in on it at the time). Help him discover his true fears by talking to him, and do your best to allay them. Then your wife can forgive you. Don't ask AITA, ask HCISBTA (How can I stop being the a***)

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has nothing to do with the masks. It has to do with being a young child and coming home to your safe home, where you expect to be safe with your family, who will also be safe forever. Then - the house is dark and suddenly two complete strangers (as far as you can tell, they're strangers) LEAP OUT at you and yell. A child of 9 will think his family got murdered while he was at his friend's house, and these people are the murderers who stayed in his house in order to murder him as well. Kids aren't rational or logical. The kid didn't have any underlying anxieties or complexes - it does not imply he was already scared or worried for his safety BEFORE the "prank". It just means he's a NORMAL CHILD who knows his home is a safe place where nothing bad will ever happen - that's how kids THINK if they're not already being abused/mistreated. There's no "true fears" here. There's only a mean a-hole of an adult who thought it would be funny to scare his 9-year-old son.

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Watermelon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okayyyy, so this man-child had zero idea his son would react that way. Doesn't sound like he has even taken the time to get to know his own kid.

Juanita Sullivan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of stuff makes my blood boil. I had so called pranks pulled on me as a kid and it really messed me up. If this man's son ever trusts him again it'll be a miracle. In this day and age where just about everything is scary in society, with all the school shootings, bullying, and so on, kids are on edge even if they don't say much. Home should be a safe space. I don't mean kids should be coddled, not at all. I'm with the wife on this one all the way.

Charlie Haase
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s nine, you d**k. You’re a major league a*****e, and I’d be surprised if he or your wife ever truly forgive you. Go screw.

brookeannsimmer
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who think scaring children is 'harmless fun' are the same people that think hitting them is 'discipline'. Abuse against children is something they've already normalized.

Damned_Cat
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People don't realize how they harm the child's trust in their parents when they do this stuff. My mom used to pull a lot of pranks on me and then get mad if something went wrong. Like one time she talked me into blowing up a big balloon until it burst. A piece of the latex went down my throat and we ended up in ER to get it removed. Another time we went to the mountains in late winter when the snow was mostly hard mush. She caught me off guard with a hard snowball that split my lip and loosened my tooth. Another trip to the ER. Of course, it was all my fault for ruining everyone's good time. My mom could never understand why I always questioned her motives later in life.

Child of the Stars
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pranks in any form are cruel and it doesn't matter the intention. My dad played a relatively harmless prank by borrowing some Disneyland tickets from some friends who had just returned and told us we were going. I was really disappointed and frankly hurt when I found out we weren't actually going. Pregnancy pranks, scare pranks, it doesn't matter they're all horrible and anyone who engages in them or defends people who do them are horrible people who I want nothing to do with.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad needed to be reamed out for this. He + daughter went overboard: scary masks, dim lights, hiding behind furniture, etc.

varwenea
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like OP isn't telling the whole truth. The wife repeats the words - you should have known better, which implies there's an underlying sensitivity about their son. Worse, if OP and daughter both knew and used it against the son anyway, then that's just f'd up.

Lily
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear dad, you have now scarred your child. You think it was a prank, haha. YOU scared the hell out of your child, and they were traumatized. You don’t get to write this off as a joke. You’re a fecking idiot and deserve the silent treatment until that child recovers.

Beak Hookage
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had the "jump out at someone" prank pulled on me more than once as a kid and the perpetrator didn't seem to understand why I always reacted by getting angry and shouting at them.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA a grown man wearing a scary mask and jumping out from behind a couch in the dark to scare his young son after the son has been away all day? WHAT could possibly go wrong? Next time? Leave the pranking? Up to your daughter you ahole. Did you even immediately comfort your son and apologise? No wonder you are still in the doghouse. Your son was tired and most likely emotional after a long day.

Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some more details from the reddit post: he did apologize to his son and so did the sister, he and the sister comforted the brother immediately, he thought the son would laugh, he said the son "seems over it".

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I needed to read was he pulled a prank.. and YTA, full stop. No compromise, period. F**k that guy.

Iyelatu
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was viral yesterday in my country: husband pranked his wife - send her video or something about him bringing his 'affair partner' home. The wife was at the office, rushed back home (while crying i imagine) got into an accident and died on the spot. It was her birthday. Prank? That was just cruel joke. I hope her husband will rot!

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad doubling down makes him the a*****e. Pranks are meant to be funny not traumatise. No apology from dad, or sister, I note.

Ephemera Image
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frightening and terrorising a nine year old? 'But it was a PRAAANK!' The battle cry of stupid vicious people who enjoy seeing other people humiliated and hurt. Ugh. So sick of them.

AD Sully
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't really think this story is a great example of what I'm about to say, but my personal experience with pranking (observing or being the butt of one) is that the person who comes up with the idea is usually, on some level, a sadist who enjoys other people's discomfort/fear. And the people who go along are too wary of the sadist to protest.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh, the one place in the whole world where your son should feel safe, and you f****d that up. Well done.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of jerk-face-Jimmy on late nite tv who tells parents to take ALL their kids Halloween candy + tell the kids the parents ate it. Are you TRYING to get your kids to hate you? Hope you don't plan on living with your kids when you get old + sick cuz they're going to say, "My parents are *dead*."

Marianne
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. Should he have known better? Absolutely. Would I be mad at him if I was his wife? Absolutely. But would I stay mad for days? Probably not. It seems that he realized his misjudgement and he is sorry. I do hope that he apologized to his son and tried to reconnect to him. There is no good in making this an ongoing conflict.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the wife is overly sensitive, and you're raising an overly sensitive future man-baby.

Just stopping by
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but this is an overreaction. My dad did pranks like that all the time and yes with the mask and all. I think I'd need more information about the son. Like does he have anxiety? Panic attacks? Prone to big emotions? Regardless he needs to apologize and talk to his son during some one on one time to make it up to him. Let him know it was bad judgement on his part and limit those types of activities to his daughter since they have that type of humor.

London Paris
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn but people are overly precious and sensitive today, y'all need to ditch the cotton wool and live a little. A 9 year old overly precious child got a fright and had a melt down and I'm getting that the casual reference to "mama bear" got missed by a lot of people. Overly protected can lead to just as much anxiety as "left to feral", especially if the kid is wrapped in cotton wool and not allowed to experience normal life. He got a fright? Awww, get over it kid and tell momma bear to back off so you can experience interacting with people. Btw: the kids not traumatized, he got a fright and apparently had no taught resilience and then got babied by an overly protective parent. The kid wasn't "terrorized", he wasn't chased around the house by the father pretending to carry a chain saw, he wasn't hung over a pit of fake snakes, he just received a fright . . . . . NTA but needs to have a long conversation with his partner about parenting styles and goals in bringing up the kid.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you serious? A young child was expecting to come home to a house with lights on. Instead? He came home to a house in darkness, and his older sister and father were wearing scary masks jumping out at him and yelling. His father didn't apologise for scaring the c**p out of him, and you think the child is over protected? He would have been tired after being away all day. Seriously. Of course, he had a meltdown. The father should have apologised and comforted his son. He didn't. He ignored his son until his wife came home. Then, he became a concerned parent.

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Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NAH. Depending on how much care they took to make it scary, the prank itself isn't all that bad. (Tho with the caveat that if he knew his son was sensitive, that would make him TA.) But it sounds like he didn't do much to apologize to/ comfort his child, and of COURSE his wife his mad at him! Especially because it sounds like, instead of accepting his guilt and working on it, he's making excuses and blaming her for being mad at him. I think it was an honest accidental screw-up that WAS a pretty basic, mild prank, but I also think his wife is totally justified in being mad at him, and he needs to take accountability and really connect more with his son.

Karalee Trapp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? So, you think it is acceptable to scare a child who has been away all day and is very likely tired? Grow up.

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Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh FFS. Dude messed up and admitted it. There's a lot of self-imagined perfect people casting judgment. The mother is being unreasonable.

Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet mom gets the kids to prank dad back. That would make it more even. Or the son and her are plotting a prank on dad an sis. That's the fun family way to handle it so the little boy isn't scared forever and mom needs to lighten up.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If mom pranks them back after acting like a shut-in the past week, she needs some serious readjustment herself.

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The Big Bad
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He admitted it went bad and too far. It just wasn't the right prank for this kid at this moment. At the same time it sometimes is fun to do scary pranks and I'm saying this as the youngest sister who got pranked monthly by two older brothers. They scared the schnitzel out of me. They'd unexpectedly came to our cabin for instance. I was staying there with friends when we were 12 or something. And in the dark they went around and in the cabin with Halloween masks scaring the c**p out of us. We all laughed and talked about it for ages. Difference being we were all in the mood for scary stuff. And knowing my brothers, I'd seen it coming... For the mum in the story, Yes it went wrong and you were right to blame your husband, he should've known better. BUT if your boy is still scared after days, there are probably underlying issues he needs help for. Maybe something that happened in school that your husband didnt even know about. Talk with your husband and try to forgive him.

whiterabbit
Community Member
1 month ago

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Lol. Jesus christ people are so overly sensitive nowadays. It was a joke. I'd never marry somebody who would give me the cold shoulder for days over something so minor. I was borderline obsessed with scary movies at that kid's age and my siblings/parents and I were constantly trying to prank/scare eachother. We all somehow managed to survive.

Thanos'Fingers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life spans tend to go down SIGNIFICANTLY for these people who choose to live their lives with a stick firmly planted up their anoos. That's not healthy.

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tracy black
Community Member
1 month ago

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both the mother and the kid should suk it up and get over it geez no wonder we are a country of whiney crybabies it was a prank the world aint gonna sugarcoat everything there is some very scary s**t out there grow up

Roberta Schrote
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wonder we are a country of entitled bullies who, among other things, can't write a grammatically correct sentence. Like the father, you don't recognize that the intention ('it was a prank') doesn't matter more than how it was received. There is some very scary s**t out there and now this child's home is included. Grow up? To be an indifferent, callous, a-hole who enjoys seeing kids so scared they soil themselves? Who decided that was the goal?

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sofacushionfort
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

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Little girl manipulated daddy to prank brother. He was legitimately terrorized but milked it until mom came home, so he could manipulate her own dissatisfaction at having to work late hours into leverage against dad and sis. Kids really are selfish devious little actors. This is a household run by the kids

similarly
Community Member
1 month ago

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Okay, maybe I'M the a-hole here, but they jumped out and shouted. It's not like dad revved up and chainsaw and chased him around the house or pretended to be a burglar and mugged him. They hid behind the sofa and then jumped out. Maybe it's because I had older brothers, but my brothers and I did this too each other all the time growing up! My parents never did jump-scares, but my Mom would throw a blanket over her head and pretend to be a ghost, and when I was little, I thought THAT was scary. But the Mom is giving Dad the silent treatment? Weaponizing communication in a marriage? I'm mad at you so I'm cutting you off? No. Just no. Never do that. Punishing your partner doesn't belong in a marriage. To me, that's WAY more immature and dysfunctional than Dad's jumpscare.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When burglars, murderers, or crazy people break into a house, they generally hide when they hear someone coming home/coming into the house. And I imagine a hypothetical someone who broke into the house and murdered the kid's dad and older sister would probably, you know, JUMP OUT and YELL at the kid as well, and then proceed to grab him and murder him as well. Bit of a stretch of the imagination? No, it's not. People get murdered in their own homes every single day. You're a complete a-hole if you think it's acceptable that the dad hid in a dark room and then leapt out at his son while shouting at him. The son IS A CHILD. He doesn't have logic down pat yet, but probably has plenty of imagination, like children tend to. He probably thought it was a murderer or a monster. Punishing your partner doesn't belong in a marriage, but terrorizing your nine-year-old child DOES?

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FluffyDreg
Community Member
1 month ago

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I... don't think any of the YTA read the post or the question. "Hey I f*cked up and tried to play a prank on my son... but it absolutely terrified him. I get I was wrong but should I be punished for over a week with my family being mean to me even though I've apready accepted I was wrong?" "YTA how dare you scare your son"

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t think you understand context. If a nine year old’s first reaction is to run off in a fit of terror that doesn’t stop until mum gets home to comfort him, and the dad ‘only’ accepts that he’s in the wrong but doesn’t explain if or how he tried to make it up to his son (get him icecream, sit down and apologise, et cetera), then yeah, the YTA people have a right to say ‘YTA’; it’s not ONLY the prank they’re upset about, they’re mostly upset that the dad doesn’t seem to have SHOWN that he was apologetic. Nine year olds often need more than a ‘sorry’.

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Ben Aziza
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

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What was the guy thinking? Sure the kid wanting to scare her brother is ok but the dad? A full on adult agreeig with it? I dunno man he is an a*****e for that. But yeh staying angry so long you also make the daughter feel bad... It is bad but not weeks of anger bad... i dunno. If he apologied to his kid and had the daughter do the same then it sould be enough.

John Harrison
Community Member
1 month ago

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Wow, this is actually a rational AITA, and not the usual contrived, click-baity outrage fest. Maybe BP is turning over a new leaf? HA HA HA HA HA HA , juuuust kidding. NTA, btw.

_-DungeonKeeper-_
Community Member
1 month ago

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NTA, if you think this guy is horrible for not seeing the future to see if the child would be scared you can just stop replying to these posts. Sometimes you'll be scared, sometimes you'll laugh it off

Insomniac
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child is a child. WTF kind of adult finds amusement in frightening a child? If you don't know what will scare your kid, you're a terrible parent anyhow. If you decide to do something for your own amusement that even has a chance of scaring your child, you're an even worse parent. Kids need to feel safe at home with their parents.

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