Where's the part where the dad apologized to his son? Oh, that's right, he didn't mean any harm so no reason to apologize for traumatizing his son. Because you only apologize if something bad happens ...on purpose?

It's interesting that at no point does OP say he apologised to his son for scaring him. As others have pointed out he definitely should be talking this out with the kid, but a very heartfelt "I'm so sorry I scared you." is in order. Intention means zip, it's the kid's feelings that matter. Think of it this way: If you run over someone's foot with your car, you hurt them, whether you meant to or not. It's the feelings of the injured party that matter, not whether or not the person who hurt them meant to do it. Same principle here, except in this case OP DID mean to scare the kid. I'd still be pissed if I was his wife too, and I'd stay that way until my partner made it right with our son.

Dude. Letting his sister jump out and say "boo" would have made him jump, and been funny to your daughter, and startled and irritated your son, and he would have been okay. But that's not what happened. You took her idea and ran with it. Masks, dimmed the lights, phone call set up. Instead of being the responsible parent and keeping chaos in check, thinking about consequenses, your son's reaction etc, you acted like a teenage prankster. You betrayed your son's trust, and scared him into crisis mode. Your wife is pissed off, because instead of having a co-parent who shares the responsibility of parenthood, she has an emotionally immature a*****e making things worse. You get to be the fun parent for your daughter, she gets to take on the emotional labour of reassuring your betrayed son who's having a panic attack. She's upset because you are abdicating all the mental and emotional labour and parenting to her, instead of a partner to share the load, she has another kid, who's a jackass.

Why would he be forgiven when he hasn't don't anything to earn forgiveness? Recognising you sxrewed up is a necessary first step, but an apology isn't action to address the concern. Saying sorry, even feeling sorry isn't enough, it's what changes after that counts. He hasn't mentioned how his interactions have been since with his son, or what he's don't to make up for being a d**k. He's keen to talk about cold shoulder, but doesn't even seem to notice he should be doing something other than say oops

She's probably upset that you don't know your son well enough to know if he would find it funny or not.

I love the comment that 'it's not normal to hold a grudge for so long'. Who exactly gets to decide that? What is the normal time-span for holding a grudge? The same with 'she should be over it by now'. And you're the one who decides that? Of course you want your wife to get over it asap because that benefits you but not her. OP appears to have no empathy at all when it comes to his actions and their effect on his wife and son.

Pranks are stupid. Don't do them to anyone, especially children.

My mom jumped out at me from inside my closet when I was a young teen. I fell down, but I am a graceful person, so didn't spill my glass of juice. So I stood up, and poured the entire contents of my cup on her head. I said I was graceful, not sweet.

I think he made an honest (and terrible) mistake and I'd almost say he regrets it but OP doesn't think too hard, as we already know. Like hello, are the lights up there on OP? Take the initiative on the next step and take your son out for a fun dad-son day and genuinely apologize and tell him you're here to protect him, always. No wonder Mom is a "mama bear," she has to do all the emotional labor.

The first rule of pranks is know your audience. If the person you’re pranking gets scared easily, don’t prank them!

I think prankster has to promise to ***never again*** prank (and stick to it). And apologize to his son and wife. Then, maybe, he can get out of the doghouse.

He's asking the wrong questions. The son's intense reaction hints at a deeper anxiety being triggered, and he should sit down and talk with him to find out what it is. It might be the particulars of one of the masks. But more likely it was his perception of his place of comfort and security being compromised - suggesting something out there scaring or worrying him so he longs for safety - or the fear of not finding two people he deeply cares about where he expected them to be - hinting that he has some reason to fear loss or abandonment. Or he was scared because he thought the whole family lied or ganged up on him (he couldn't have known the mother wasn't in on it at the time). Help him discover his true fears by talking to him, and do your best to allay them. Then your wife can forgive you. Don't ask AITA, ask HCISBTA (How can I stop being the a***)

This kind of stuff makes my blood boil. I had so called pranks pulled on me as a kid and it really messed me up. If this man's son ever trusts him again it'll be a miracle. In this day and age where just about everything is scary in society, with all the school shootings, bullying, and so on, kids are on edge even if they don't say much. Home should be a safe space. I don't mean kids should be coddled, not at all. I'm with the wife on this one all the way.

People who think scaring children is 'harmless fun' are the same people that think hitting them is 'discipline'. Abuse against children is something they've already normalized.

Pranks in any form are cruel and it doesn't matter the intention. My dad played a relatively harmless prank by borrowing some Disneyland tickets from some friends who had just returned and told us we were going. I was really disappointed and frankly hurt when I found out we weren't actually going. Pregnancy pranks, scare pranks, it doesn't matter they're all horrible and anyone who engages in them or defends people who do them are horrible people who I want nothing to do with.

This is a year old. Any divorce updates?

Dear dad, you have now scarred your child. You think it was a prank, haha. YOU scared the hell out of your child, and they were traumatized. You don’t get to write this off as a joke. You’re a fecking idiot and deserve the silent treatment until that child recovers.

YTA a grown man wearing a scary mask and jumping out from behind a couch in the dark to scare his young son after the son has been away all day? WHAT could possibly go wrong? Next time? Leave the pranking? Up to your daughter you ahole. Did you even immediately comfort your son and apologise? No wonder you are still in the doghouse. Your son was tired and most likely emotional after a long day.

17% psychopaths hanging out here, I see.

This was viral yesterday in my country: husband pranked his wife - send her video or something about him bringing his 'affair partner' home. The wife was at the office, rushed back home (while crying i imagine) got into an accident and died on the spot. It was her birthday. Prank? That was just cruel joke. I hope her husband will rot!

Frightening and terrorising a nine year old? 'But it was a PRAAANK!' The battle cry of stupid vicious people who enjoy seeing other people humiliated and hurt. Ugh. So sick of them.

I HATE pranks.

Janelle Collard

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This reminds me of jerk-face-Jimmy on late nite tv who tells parents to take ALL their kids Halloween candy + tell the kids the parents ate it. Are you TRYING to get your kids to hate you? Hope you don't plan on living with your kids when you get old + sick cuz they're going to say, "My parents are *dead*."

Sounds like the wife is overly sensitive, and you're raising an overly sensitive future man-baby.

Damn but people are overly precious and sensitive today, y'all need to ditch the cotton wool and live a little. A 9 year old overly precious child got a fright and had a melt down and I'm getting that the casual reference to "mama bear" got missed by a lot of people. Overly protected can lead to just as much anxiety as "left to feral", especially if the kid is wrapped in cotton wool and not allowed to experience normal life. He got a fright? Awww, get over it kid and tell momma bear to back off so you can experience interacting with people. Btw: the kids not traumatized, he got a fright and apparently had no taught resilience and then got babied by an overly protective parent. The kid wasn't "terrorized", he wasn't chased around the house by the father pretending to carry a chain saw, he wasn't hung over a pit of fake snakes, he just received a fright . . . . . NTA but needs to have a long conversation with his partner about parenting styles and goals in bringing up the kid.

These ''YTAs'' are yappy c***s

I bet mom gets the kids to prank dad back. That would make it more even. Or the son and her are plotting a prank on dad an sis. That's the fun family way to handle it so the little boy isn't scared forever and mom needs to lighten up.

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Lol. Jesus christ people are so overly sensitive nowadays. It was a joke. I'd never marry somebody who would give me the cold shoulder for days over something so minor. I was borderline obsessed with scary movies at that kid's age and my siblings/parents and I were constantly trying to prank/scare eachother. We all somehow managed to survive.