We might imagine that bullying only happens to kids in middle school or high school, but in reality, it starts happening as early as kindergarten. The statistics are pretty grim: 20% of kindergarteners said they experience bullying often. What’s worse, the numbers even go up in elementary school, where 33% of students report getting bullied.

When you’re a parent, you might often feel helpless. Your kid is experiencing psychological torment every day, but the school doesn’t seem to be addressing the problem. This one dad tried to protect his son from a bully, but unfortunately, he picked the wrong method. One that cost his son his place at the kindergarten and the dad his reputation.

Bored Panda got in touch with this Redditor, and he was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Read his comments below!

Kindergarten social dynamics can be hard on the parents as well as the kids

Image credits: elmedoks / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

This dad’s knee-jerk reaction to his son being bullied caused his son’s expulsion and outraged other parents

Image credits: photobac / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Image credits: perfectlab / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Andrew Neel / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: anonymous

The dad tells Bored Panda he wishes he pushed for the school to take more action

Image credits: elmedoks / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

“I’ll start by saying that I was uneasy about the number of commenters who thought it was justified or that the boy deserved it,” the author wanted to make something clear right off the bat. “It wasn’t, and he didn’t.”

“I’ll also push back against the people calling me a monster and unhinged, etc. I know Reddit isn’t known for its nuance, but the majority of comments, regardless of siding, made it black and white. Overall, it’s an unfortunate situation that culminated in a horrible mistake that I’m now paying for,” the Redditor said.

One thing he wishes he had done differently was to ask the school to do more regarding his son’s bullying. “I should have been more assertive. I took a backseat and expected the school to do the right thing,” he says. “That didn’t [happen], and it ended in regrettable fashion. Had I advocated more in the first place, the circumstances that led to that afternoon probably [wouldn’t have happened].”

The father doesn’t take pride in what he did and feels remorseful. “It takes a split second to ruin a reputation that took 13 years in a community to build. What I did was wrong, and without context, it seems even worse, split-second reaction or not. Hopefully, one day, people will remember me for something other than this, but in the meantime, I’ve done this to myself,” he adds.

To other parents whose children experience bullying, the Redditor advises not to take “no” for an answer. “Never assume that just because people have the authority to do something, they will.”

“I always considered myself a huge advocate for my son, but this has been a wake-up call to the fact that I need to be the one to get things done for my children and not rely on anyone else. Emails and pleasantries aren’t enough sometimes. I won’t be making that mistake again,” the author says.

What parents can do to help their children deal with bullying

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)

Parents often feel helpless when they know their child is being bullied. The kids, in turn, don’t always come to their parents for help. They can feel embarrassed, thinking that their parents might get angry at them, be disappointed, or get upset.

It’s not uncommon for children to blame themselves for getting bullied. They might think that if they looked or acted differently, the bullying might have never happened. They also fear what might happen if they tell on the bully. The bullying might get worse, and the parents might not believe them. In some cases, they’re afraid their parents will tell them to fight back, which they might be scared to do.

Experts say that it’s important for parents to tell their children they did the right thing by telling them. Knowing that their parents will help them get through this can make the kids feel safer and more self-assured.

What should parents do upon finding out their child is being bullied? The first step should be to talk to the teachers and the school administration. When bullying occurs at school or kindergarten, parents can consult their state’s anti-bullying laws. There are also federal laws that require schools to take action against harassment based on race, sex, color, national origin, and disabilities.

VeryWell Family advises parents not to minimize what a child says about bullying. As this is a very delicate situation, a child needs to feel validated if they feel hurt and afraid. Role-playing is another strategy parents might employ: teach them how to act in one situation or another. The most important thing is to let the child know this isn’t their fault.

Some people in the comments showed support for the father, and others questioned the school’s passivity

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