Everything points to the fact she didn't want to go to that wedding to begin with. Understandable, especially if she isn't close to anyone at the wedding and just tags along because her parents are invited. The way she handled it, of course, is unacceptable. She could just say she doesn't want to go.

I think he made the right choice.

I don't think dad would have thought any differently if she'd decided to wear sweats and slippers. It's about dressing appropriately for the event.

Semi formal does not mean you have to wear a dress these days but it does still mean you have to dress up. No leggings and not a lot of skin.

The really messed up thing about this is that, as an invited and accounted for guest, whoever paid for the wedding probably spent around $120 for her plate of food. If she didn't want to go, she should have been honest.

Eh. I think the mom was right. She didn't make derogatory statements about the choice of dress itself ("she was hitting the club" attire), just pointed out that the dress code said it was semi-formal and that outfit wasn't appropriate for that venue. It was a diplomatic way to handle it that wasn't shaming her outfit choice in general, but in that specific situation. The dad wasn't wrong, per se, but he could have handled it better, and the daughter should have known in the first place, so neither of them handled it well.

Baby girl here needs to grow up and stop being a brat.

Change the premise to a job/work environment: if there is a dress code at work, employees need to dress according to that dress code otherwise, they won't have a job. No different for a wedding where the "dress code" is explicitly stated on the invitation. NTA

Ehhhhh....the girl is 19. She's responsible for her own choices. If she didn't live with you and showed up in that outfit, what would you do then? I think the mom started out right, offering to help her find something better suited for the occasion. Telling the daughter the outfit isn't appropriate, here's why, and then let the consequences fall. She'll probably feel uncomfortable at the wedding. If anyone says anything to the parents, say "she's 19, I don't control her clothing choices."

The only situation where OP would be the AH in my opinion is if they weren't going to a formal event. If it was something like going shopping, yes OP would be the AH (at least from my view). If I wasnt told the daughters age, I would think she was a 12/13 year old, but nope, She's 19

This has all the hallmarks of an ongoing battle of wills between the two. I imagine this is only one battle, and it was put in a pretty frame by the dad. I imagine they were both being butts.

Sounds like her intention was to upstage the bride and draw attention to herself perhaps.

Usually I respond to these NTA, but, seriously, this time YTA. Your daughter is 19, you have no right to police what she wears, take your high and mighty "i'll tell a woman what to wear" attitude and shove it. You going to tell her to choose pads over tampons next? That she needs to become thinner, vegan, a ballerina? If she chose to dress like an idiot, she would have been turned away from the wedding, then she would have just looked like an immature child, but your actions have trumped your daughter's immaturity, you were the absolute child here. My grandfather did this to me when I was 16, I wore a dress down to my ankles that had my shoulders bare ONLY. He refused to leave the house with me, to this day that still cuts me. You damaged her self confidence and made it clear a man should make a womans decisions for her. Get over yourself and grow up. Your wife is also a wimp in not standing up to you. I'd have slapped you the moment I heard you speak to our daughter like that.

Dad was within his rights, but it's kind of a shame he stuck to his guns. Weddings are incredibly boring, and he deprived everyone of a good conversation starter. I mean, you're stuck at a table with some relatives you haven't seen in years and some people from the groom's side, and you don't dare mention politics or religion, so what is there to talk about except the girl in the inappropriate outfit?

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In a way, I can see the girl's point. If you expect me to wear a suit and tie, don't invite me.

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Am I the only crazy one here who thinks this isn't something to start a family fight over? I really think the dad should have dropped it and not let her miss the wedding over such a silly thing. Jill was right when she said nobody was going to care what she wore because everybody would be looking at the bride, anyway.