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“Am I The Jerk For Expecting My Daughter To Stick To Our Chores-For-Rent Deal?”
It’s not easy to make it in this economy as a young adult. Especially on your own.
Soaring rent prices, student loan debt, the increasing cost of living, and other challenges demand strategic planning and, in many cases, help from others.
However, father and Reddit user NoDivide4576 thinks instilling resilience in his daughter is more important than accommodating her now that she is of age.
The man took to the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ to explain his stance, but, to his surprise, many disagreed, sparking a heated debate on parenting, responsibilities, and support.
RELATED:
A father insists on his daughter taking care of his home in exchange for rent-free living
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
But many people believe that he’s being too strict
Image credits: Unseen Studio / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freestocks / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NoDivide4576
Bored Panda’s parenting expert, as well as award-winning TV broadcaster and author Vicki Broadbent, believes the man behind the Reddit post could take a step back.
Image credits: Joseph Sinclair
“I think the dad in question should compromise and not expect daily childcare i.e. cooking and cleaning of him and his younger children,” Vicki Broadbent, who runs the acclaimed family lifestyle blog Honest Mum told Bored Panda.
The author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) said “While teaching his daughter an important money lesson, he chose to support her through college, and as parents we make sacrifices and support our children where possible.”
But “College is stressful and a part-time job might not take as much time as what is requested of her from her father. Perhaps cooking and cleaning collaboratively would seem more fair. If I were her, I would prefer a part-time job in this scenario.”
“I think it’s wonderful to live with relatives but you all require boundaries to succeed, compromises must be made and regular communication is key so problems can be aired and ideally solved so relationships stay healthy and strong,” Broadbent, who is a mother of three herself, added.
While the practice is widespread, living with your parents is still frowned upon
Image credits: Joshua Rawson-Harris / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In many places, multigenerational living has been on the rise in recent decades.
For example, as Americans cope with rising student debt and housing costs, a quarter of U.S. adults ages 25 to 34 resided in a multigenerational family household in 2021, up from 9% in 1971.
The growth has been especially pronounced among those without a college degree. Multigenerational living has tripled among this group, compared with doubling among young adults with at least a bachelor’s degree.
(In 1971, the prevalence of multigenerational living among young adults was similar regardless of educational attainment, but by 2021, 31% of young adults who had not finished college were in a multigenerational arrangement – almost double the share of their peers who had completed at least a bachelor’s degree [16%].)
As was the case with this Reddit story, financial issues are a major reason why adults live in multigenerational households — young adults who have not completed at least a bachelor’s degree tend to earn substantially less than those who have, if they even get the opportunity to work.
And while over a third of Americans (36%) say that more young adults living with their parents is bad for society (only 16% claim it’s good), young adults in much of Europe are even more likely than their U.S. counterparts to live in their parents’ home.
In 24 European countries studied, more than one in three adults ages 18 to 34 were staying at their folks’. That includes more than seven in ten in Croatia (77%), Greece (73%), Portugal (72%), Serbia (71%), and Italy (71%).
Moving out and living on your own is often seen as a marker of adulthood, but what to do when you’ve been dealt a bad hand, with pandemic lockdowns, inflation, soaring student debt levels, and a shaky job market?
Temporary “staying behind” — living with your parents and saving up — is what many young adults need to get ahead.
As his post went viral, the father clarified a few things
Still, he was condemned by virtually everyone who read his story
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What do you think ?
Carol Culhane 10 months ago
8 and 10 is old enough to make themselves cereal or toast for breakfast. They may need a bit of help occasionally but you are absolutely disadvantaging those boys from learning life skills.
Kate 10 months ago
I guarantee that if the younger siblings were girls, they'd be making their own breakfasts.
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Alro 10 months ago
"A lot of people would rather be in this position"... Ha, the good old argument that some people are having it worse, so you should be happy with bad. NOPE
aniszondrauk 10 months ago
She doesn't have to pay anything for her studies. As far as I know many, many, many people would love to be in her place. You can clean the house on the weekend easily, and don't even have to cook every day only half the week.
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Caro Caro 10 months ago
Cook and clean. Not a few meals a week but a whole household and cooking. Yes, he is the A Hole. Give her some slack ffs. He doesn't want to pay for a housekeeper and a babysitter as well. I bet he's at work when the young boys come home from school so she has to babysit as well. A Hole is too nice but other words I want to use will get me banned. grrrrrrrrrr
Yettichild 10 months ago
I feel it's very telling that he is single. He basically made his daughter take over his late wife's household duties. He just doesn't want to take care of his other kids by himself. His reasoning is bull. I was in the worse situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just because I suffered through having to put myself through college with no help (spent 4 years in the military to pay for it), work a part time job and volunteer at an animal shelter (needed since I was pre-vet) doesn't mean I think others should have to suffer the same way.
Load More Replies... Carol Culhane 10 months ago
8 and 10 is old enough to make themselves cereal or toast for breakfast. They may need a bit of help occasionally but you are absolutely disadvantaging those boys from learning life skills.
Kate 10 months ago
I guarantee that if the younger siblings were girls, they'd be making their own breakfasts.
Load More Replies... Alro 10 months ago
"A lot of people would rather be in this position"... Ha, the good old argument that some people are having it worse, so you should be happy with bad. NOPE
aniszondrauk 10 months ago
She doesn't have to pay anything for her studies. As far as I know many, many, many people would love to be in her place. You can clean the house on the weekend easily, and don't even have to cook every day only half the week.
Load More Replies... Caro Caro 10 months ago
Cook and clean. Not a few meals a week but a whole household and cooking. Yes, he is the A Hole. Give her some slack ffs. He doesn't want to pay for a housekeeper and a babysitter as well. I bet he's at work when the young boys come home from school so she has to babysit as well. A Hole is too nice but other words I want to use will get me banned. grrrrrrrrrr
Yettichild 10 months ago
I feel it's very telling that he is single. He basically made his daughter take over his late wife's household duties. He just doesn't want to take care of his other kids by himself. His reasoning is bull. I was in the worse situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just because I suffered through having to put myself through college with no help (spent 4 years in the military to pay for it), work a part time job and volunteer at an animal shelter (needed since I was pre-vet) doesn't mean I think others should have to suffer the same way.
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