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The first day at a new job can be extremely overwhelming. Remembering names, learning protocol, trying to keep up with a new, fast-paced environment and maintaining your cool while simultaneously convincing your boss and yourself that you’ll be able to juggle all of your new responsibilities is a lot.

But not everyone can handle the pressure of starting a new job, and unfortunately, some people manage to lose their positions just as quickly as they earned them. Redditors have recently been sharing stories of the fastest ways people have ever been fired, so we’ve gathered some of their most shocking and entertaining anecdotes below. Enjoy reading through and feeling grateful that you’ve managed to hold down a job, and be sure to upvote the stories you can’t believe actually happened!

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#1

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired First day at work he took one look at his would-be boss and declared "I won't work under a woman". So he was shown the door.

huiscloslaqueue , Edmond Dantès Report

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#2

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I saw a coworker once make a "big boobs" gesture as our boss' wife walked past....with our boss walking right behind her.

He was packing his s**t within 5 minutes.

BrokkenArrow , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
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#3

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Hired a bunch for temp workers for data entry. Friday a young woman (21+yo to work for this agency) no shows to work, so I call temp agency and they send a replacement at noon.

Monday morning the young woman shows up and tells me that Friday her friends were going to the beach and she thought it was unfair that they had day off while she had to work. So she "Skipped". That is a real quote, "Skipped" like ditching school.

Told her she was already fired on Friday, to go home.

Then she says her mom dropped her off and she had not ride till 5pm. (In a city, so there was public transport available)

Told her "Sorry, in the adult world you have to clean up your own messes. bye."

MrRGG , Mizuno K Report

Final score:
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María Hermida
María Hermida
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago I had a thirty-year-old flatmate with similar ideas. She had a good job with a good salary, but she decided to resign mid-summer because all her friends were having a good time, going to the beach and the swimming pool every day, so it was not fair she had to work.

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#4

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I worked IT in a high school. We hired a new HS tech. He came to shadow me for a few days. I told him don't f**k with money or kids and you're golden. Two weeks later he was dating a high school senior. Fired on the spot.

Brett707 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
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Mayra
Mayra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They need to capitalize ‘IT’, that first sentence was a little misleading 😂

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#5

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot.

walkingknight , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:
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#6

New vice president of HR was introduced to company on Monday's morning meeting.

He went to the head of the room, said he was going to tell a little joke to break the ice...and told a racist joke.

Jaws were hitting the floor and dead silence followed.

He said oh I guess you didn't get it, let me tell it again.

Before he was halfway through the second sentence of the 'joke' another VP got up, put his arm around him, and walked him out of the room.

Never seen again.

JewsEatFruit Report

Final score:
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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like most racists are Schrodinger’s doûchebags.

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#7

I did the firing.
I was sous chef of a large reception hall, meaning serving food to hundreds and hundreds of guests.

One party had a big seafood display. Shrimp, oysters, crab legs & vodka, all in a giant decorative box of ice.

When that portion of dinner service was finished, two new waiters were tasked with returning the big ice box + leftovers to the kitchen and dish pit.

**They dumped the ice back into the ice machine.**

The contaminated ice. It even had some discarded shells.

I saw it happen. I had to show them the door immediately and have a serious talk with their head waiter. They lasted 2 hours, tops.

Those idiots could've killed someone.
Imagine you have a severe shellfish allergy and the ice in your glass of water is lethal.

GhettoSauce Report

Final score:
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kissmychakram
kissmychakram
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy Hannah! My sister is deathly allergic, that would kill her. We check everything, but would never think of worrying about her gin and tonic!

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#8

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 mins later and wants to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denies it. I just look at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man..

BigNotGay420 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:
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CatWoman1014
CatWoman1014
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I truly don’t understand people who eat others leftovers. You have no idea how clean their kitchen and cooking habits are and seasoning. I often lick the spoon when I cook so if you eat my leftovers you’re also eating my saliva. Bon appetit!

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#9

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I used to work at a small business. A new hire made a comment in passing that he didn’t support gay marriage. Somehow he failed to realize that the two women who owned the place were a lesbian couple.

ThisIsMy2ndA , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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Panda Kicki
Panda Kicki
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, it is very convenient when the trash takes itself out.

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#10

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Dude's first day, on a team next to mine gets an assignment, as soon as the lead leaves the area he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn't do his work for him he's going to "kick his a*s after work".

I got up to the managers, we walked over and escorted him out. He was there all of 2 hours.

On his way out he's knocking over chairs and screaming that he'll be "waiting for us in the parking lot". F****n nuts.

Marmoticon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
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#11

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register.

DudebroggieHouser , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
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#12

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Working security at a concert venue. Coworker confiscated a mini bottle of Fireball that someone snuck in, and then he drank it in front of everyone. Instantly went from confiscation (part of the job) to stealing and also drinking on the job.

Red-Dwarf69 , Wendy Wei Report

Final score:
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#13

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Dude sent out a company-wide email at the start of pride month including bible verses about how all gay people need to be murdered.

ginger_ryn , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
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#14

First day at work for this new dude. We pick him up at 07:00AM... He hops into the car and goes : "Ahhhh, Jeez...when are we finishing work today? I'm beat. Can you guys buy me a pack of cigarettes? Oh, and just so you know, I only eat Meat for lunch..." The boss stopped the car, and told him to get out. It was like 07:03...

TheDogtor-- Report

Final score:
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#15

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!

Useful_Exchange3583 , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:
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80 Van
80 Van
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is difficult not to picture Otto from the Simpsons in that story.

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#16

I am a former medical professional, I was a manager of two buildings. One a nursing home and the other a high security mental facility. Our place was short staffed as they all are and my job duties consisted of wearing many hats. I trained, did narc count, worked the night shift and day shift on top of being a manager. My trainee, we will call her Nancy, was shadowing me about my monster and coffee fueled day (I was 3/4 through a 24 hr shift) and I was explaining the steps to giving someone insulin (she was fresh out of CMA class) so she decided to grab the needle and stab the patient in the neck without even getting the insulin and stared at me and says “So … um like.. like that?”

I was flabbergasted and, I know this is surprising, I fired her.

LittleDahlia_ Report

Final score:
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#17

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I was a police instructor. I was driving down a road to deliver some stuff (mid shift) and I saw headlights in the opposite lane not moving toward me. I slowed down, then noticed it was a marked unit. I stopped next to it and the officer was asleep...in the middle of the road, unit in park, mouth open asleep!

Chasing_Lisa , Leoohigh Report

Final score:
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#18

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired A guy got fired at my bar for shaving his head in the beer cooler.

Why? His kids had lice.

He even sang a song about how he was high and shaving on the boss man's time.

There's a video too, you can see the GM staring in wtf shock in the background.

Island_Maximum , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
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#19

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Came out from the back and joined us while we were talking about work related stuff, and he had a beer can in his hand. I immediately stopped talking about what I was talking about before and asked him: "Dude. What the f**k are you doing?" Him: "uh...drinking juice? What does it look like?" My boss: "That's not a f*****g juice dude, that's a spiked seltzer. It's alcohol." Him: "pfft, ok so?" *Takes another sip* He was 16. He was fired on the spot and had to be dragged out because he was adamant it wasn't a big deal and threatened to stab me with his pocket knife when I tried taking it from him. 

Supersaiajinblue , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:
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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where are they now? Municipal jail, state penitentiary or federal prison?

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#20

I was quality assurance for a place that evaluated operations involving explosives. I was leaving soon, so my replacement was hired (I recommended against his hiring because I'd heard bad things and he seemed shady..... but they hired him anyway).

So on his first day, I was tasked with training him on the job. He was already highly qualified on explosives (more qualified than I was, in fact).

Anyway, as we're evaluating a couple of guys working on the internals of a live AIM-120 missile. This clown's CELLPHONE goes off in his pocket. To even get into the bay we were in, you have to walk past about 4 signs that say to leave all electronic devices outside because even tiny amounts of EM emissions can set off the explosives, especially when the covers are removed/dissassembled.

So I wrote up my replacement with a Direct Safety Violation and he didn't have a job by the time he got back to the office. Quality Assurance's reputation was in the crapper for months. That idiot could have gotten 5 people killed, including himself.

trigrhappy Report

Final score:
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Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah... Whoa... People need to heed the no cell phone thing around explosives and such. That's pretty scary.

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#21

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Within two weeks a new hire was found sleeping in the middle of a fort of inventory he made. They walked him out immediately.

DoubleShoryuken , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
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#22

My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: “I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.”

Boss says “Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!”

Selios2112 Report

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#23

I worked at a movie theater as a teenager. Some suits from corporate office were at the theater doing stuff, including a really beautiful young woman in her early- to mid-twenties, who was in the group wearing a short jacket and a knee-length pencil skirt.


We all had radios, and I was taking tickets near where the suits were hanging out talking to my boss when my radio crackled and I hear, "Holy s**t, guys, did you see the a*s on that chick from corporate office?"


She blushed very red, my manager went very pale, and my coworker got very fired.

Jaevric Report

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Milady Blue
Milady Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alas, you could not reply, "Holy s**t, dude, your timing sucks so bad that with the right attachments, you could probably vacuum the whole theater all by yourself!"

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#24

I was training a new manager at a hotel on the midnight shift almost 20 years ago. She'd literally been working with me for 5 minutes when I decided to show her around. Opened a boardroom door and caught our lead bartender plowing a guest on the granite conference table. He was out the lobby door holding his pants up within 90 seconds.

He was immortalized as a legend forever though. 😂

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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family hotel, here. I cannot even begin to tell you how much sex happens in secluded places. Thing is, they’re never as sly as they think. Cameras will attest to this. Best tho, is the married men who sneak out for Grindr trysts in the bushes. There are a couple of locals who were regulars, sometimes even hooking up on property with more than one guest per night. We’ve had to ban them. Pictures up in security office. Now, had they been sex workers dealing with their transactions behind closed doors, we’d be gentile & accommodating as long as they’re discrete.

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#25

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Restaurant opening. His first day on the job. Smacked a server’s a*s and said “Thanks toots”.

I think he maybe lasted 2 hours that day max. I can’t think of anyone else I fired faster than that.

mistrwzrd , Titouan Henry Report

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing in this day and age that anyone would think that type of conduct would fly.

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#26

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Hitting on the boss's 13-year-old son.

ARoaminGnome , Christina Morillo Report

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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Y’all hear the news this week about the teacher & the 13yo whom she sexually assaulted, texted with 2200 times (including sending noods) and bought him a Glock semi-automatic for his 14th birthday? At the end of this school year he asked her to get him a second one. When she said no he totally came clean and ratted her out. The sicko had to know this ended with prison. And if she didn’t, how was someone that dumb hired as a teacher.

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#27

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. Next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down.

Beestung , cottonbro studio Report

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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s now sitting in his poor mother’s unfinished attic, covered in Cheeto dust & varying pathogens, trolling away in Warfare & LoL.

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#28

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired He filmed from under the door of the women's bathroom. I don't understand how it’s possible to do this.

Some_Ad_8070 , Max Rahubovskiy Report

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Freaking creep. Deserves more than just fired.

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#29

Annual promotion season. HR rep at my previous employer was sending her boss the salary/raise calcs for everyone in our office. In sending she accidentally Cc’d our offices contact group.

No one worked that day, many people left angry, she left as she was no longer employed. But one thing she did do was help a LOT of people negotiate better and fair pay.

imusto74 Report

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Sonja
Sonja
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how 'accidental' that was. I wonder if ahe might have had another job already lined up

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#30

Manager introduces new co-worker to us and asks one of my colleagues to train him on the machinery we use, which he accepts. 20 minutes in training the new guy picks up a large, metal piece and the trainer shows him the proper way to handle it. The trainer demonstrates by gently grabbing the piece, to which the new guy reacts by violently grabbing the piece away from the trainer then attempted to back-hand smack the trainer... right in front of the manager.

New guy got hauled off faster than an Amazon van driving on same-day shipping, metaphorically. Our manager was really hard on workplace violence.

WhoTheHeckWasThat Report

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#31

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired A co worker came to work drunk, and when his supervisor started reprimanding him ,he (co worker) threw up on him.

November3422 , Ekaterina Belinskaya Report

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#32

I fired a woman who showed up late on the first day, in an inappropriate dress, a customer asked her something simple, she replied "how the f**k am I supposed to know that". I gave her a payroll check for 3 hours work and sent her out the door. She was a sweet, intelligent woman when I interviewed her, what happened, I don't know.

drawnnquarter Report

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#33

New Guy had a habit of watching YouTube instead of working. Manager walks by his desk and sees this, and says, “hey less YouTube and more work, yeah?”

The New Guy messages another colleague, “dipsh*t boss is creeping on me again”

Except he sent the message to the manager by mistake.

cant_sleep_on_planes Report

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Captain McSmoot
Captain McSmoot
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not "creeping" if the manager is... you know... MANAGING the productivity of the office!

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#34

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Saw someone in a customer service/intake position gone in about 15 minutes. They had specifically been hired to take Spanish speaking calls, and had told the company she was bilingual im English/Spanish.

She couldn't actually speak any Spanish. Not sure how she faked her way through the interview.

IsilZha , picjumbo.com Report

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SCamp
SCamp
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s on the company. No one asked her a question in Spanish? Serves them right

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#35

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Work for a large big box. We brought on a new hire last week. Three days into the workweek, we noticed either he didn’t have a radio or he just didn’t know how to operate it. He was clocking in for work, out/in for lunches, & clocking out for the day. It turned out he was arriving to clock in, leaving until lunch, clocking out & leaving again, returning to satisfy the clock again, leaving, & then returning yet again to clock out for the day. Three days he did this. A new hire. His lead was also given a meeting as they weren’t doing due diligence & trying to find him.

jackapplecore , IDenticardImages Report

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#36

In my gym one of my instructors had an argument with a customer. The customer was being a smart*ss but the instructor (quite a muscular man, like a badly built bodybuilder) waited for him outside where there were no cameras and assaulted the guy, breaking an orbit and knocking him out. He then proceeded to go back in, intimidate the receptionist into not calling an ambulance and going around the gym telling everyone that they had "seen nothing" and that he knew where everyone of them lived or worked. I called him and told him to pack his stuff go home Immediately. Next day he received a letter from our lawyer not to show his face again.

Tramonto83 Report

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#37

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Worked in a restaurant and when the table wanted to return their Mai Tai the server chugged it right in front of them and said “it tastes fine.”

ThatsRubbishMate , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Sue Denham
Sue Denham
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With all the bad behaviour that servers have to put up with I reckon there should be one day a year - no, let's make it a month - when they're allowed to do stuff like this.

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#38

Worked in a sales call center about 10 years ago, real braindead work. New guy starts on a Monday morning, after he gets trained up on the basics (which takes about an hour), he gets assigned a desk and sets off to work.


30 minutes later, it looks like little puffs of steam are rising up from his computer monitor. Turns out he was vaping on one of those disposable ecigarettes, the kind that sort of tried to look like real cigarettes. He gets told by the boss that we can't vape indoors, and if he wants to, he'll have to go outside to do it on a smoke break. We were pretty liberal with those, you could basically just go whenever you wanted.

About 30 minutes later again, the same thing happens. He gets caught again, and is told in no uncertain terms that if he wants to keep his job, he'll stop vaping at his desk.


An hour later, he gets caught hiding beneath his desk, still vaping, and is promptly fired, all before lunch time. Dude could have just gone outside.

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#39

Someone idiot made a racist "joke" about a black lady during orientation. HR immediately kicked him out.

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Min
Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do appreciate when racists let you know what they are right off the bat so that you don't waste any time thinking they're decent human beings. That way you aren't disappointed when you find out later.

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#40

I was a manager for a cosmetics store at the mall. On my day off I get a call from one of my long time employees that our new hire had tried to fight a girl who came into our store, because she was the ex GF of the new hire’s fiancé. I had to come in on my day off, pregnant and starving cause I hadn’t had time to eat yet, to deal with this absolute middle school nonsense. When I got there the new hire and her mom were just chilling by the register, like fighting people while you’re working is a totally normal, everyday occurrence. The mom had the audacity to say to me “she didn’t have no business coming in here!” I had to inform her that our store was open to the public, so she had every right to come in, regardless of her motives. Then I had to fire the new hire. The crazy thing was, in her deluded red neck mind, she thought I was coming in to check on her! That I was there cause I had her back! I actually hate that I missed the fight, because my long time employee said she threw the weakest, saddest, little punch. She looked like Mr. Burns trying to fight.

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#41

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I work at a local grocery store and one day we had a new hire in the bakery department. Her first day comes around and she no-called and no-showed for her first day…then a few days later comes in and shops like nothing happened 💀

LonelyDragonborn , Lisa Fotios Report

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she forgot she had a job? Or just didn't care.

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#42

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Was caught stealing money out of the register in the first hour of him even touching the damn thing.

On a related note, had another co-worker get fired for the same thing within the last two hours of his final shift.

$50 in small bills and loose coins really brings out the worst in some people.

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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Desperation is blind to morality. We hired a (hotel) housekeeper. On her first day, $100 cash tip went missing. Supervisor checked on her & her lead, noting the cash tip in one room. When all tips were accounted for, the $100 bill wasn’t there. Mngr came to me & I cut her final check, brought her into office & terminated her. She broke down in utter remorse. She could have taken other tips but only took the one so I asked her why she stole, but didn’t get a little greedier. She could have gotten away with much more had it not been the only $100 bill. She accepted her termination & explained that the onboarding took so long & she’d been unemployed for so long that she wasn’t even sure she had the gas to make it to nearest station. Also, she had no diapers, no food and her mobile was turned off. She even feared she’d miss us trying to call her prior to her start & lose the job. Had garden team put gas in her car, gave her the $100 back & rehired her. This was 1998. She’s a supe now.

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#43

A mate many years ago started a part time job at pizza hut. First customer he took a pizza out to asked for him to be sacked and he was. To be fair to the customer, my mate had a string of cheese all the way from the pizza dish to his chin. He thought no-one would notice one slice of pepperoni missing. He was wrong.

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's kind of comical. I chuckle just picturing him with the long string of cheese thinking no one will notice.

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#44

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I work with special needs individuals. A coworker of mine who had started 3 days prior got fired for getting into a fistfight…with one of the special needs individuals.

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Con O Cuinn
Con O Cuinn
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work with special needs adults and this is a real fear of mine. I'm not a carer, just a driver so I've never had any training in this regard. And a lot of the clients are completely able-bodied big grown men, if they went at me I don't know how I would defend myself without fighting back.

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#45

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside.

Guy was fast asleep, under his desk.

He was gone before you could say hangover.

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#46

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired I worked at the head office of a well known retailer. One day we had a temp on the reception desk and no one realised that the bottle of water on her desk was, well...not water.

As the day went on the tannoy announcements got worse, just stumbling through names and slurring. Needless to say everyone thought this was funny, not realising that she was bladdered and not just c**p at the job.

Come the end of the day though, she gets into her car and attempts to drive out of the car park, bouncing off cars and eventually coming to a halt on a grass verge.

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ॐBoyGanesh
ॐBoyGanesh
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the F did you all let her get behind the wheel? Have you no self-preservation at the least?

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#47

Got yelled at for being late. Said some insane s**t to the boss over it, got sent to talk with HR, threatened HR with his gun, then the police showed up and I never saw him again.

You'll never guess what career he really wanted, but got 'scammed out of'.

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#48

I watched a guy at a really high end restraunt bring out a steam ship round roast beef for a huge brunch celebration. He was trying to set it up and dropped it on the floor. We all saw. As did his manager. He set it right back up and started cutting. She ran his a*s outta there in minutes.

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#49

Dude showed up to his first day after taking acid. Told the boss his acid kicked in.

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#50

I was told this tale by my boss at the time.

A guy is hired as a federal government contractor, and after a lengthy approval process, he is finally cleared to start working. The guy is really excited and shows up to the government building 2-3 hours early. Neither his boss nor his co-workers have arrived yet, so he goes to the cafeteria, grabs a coffee and the day's paper, and sits down to read it while waiting.

This early in the day, there are very few contractor staff around, it's mostly government workers. One of them walks into the cafeteria with a colleague, talking about how lazy contractor staff are, and they don't deserve the salaries they are paid. He immediately spots the new guy, seemingly relaxing and reading the paper when he should be working, and completely loses his mind, screaming at the new guy and threatening to have him fired immediately. This wasn't an empty threat, because the government guy actually had the authority to follow through on his threat.

The new guy didn't get a chance to explain himself and was immediately ordered to go to security and wait for his boss. The boss finally comes in to meet a very pissed-off customer and a very bewildered new guy. After many calls and emergency meetings, they explained things to the government guy and got him to calm down. However, he refused to back down on having the new guy fired (I guess he didn't want to lose face) and to keep him happy, they had to let the guy go.

So, the new guy was fired before he even started.

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Patently unfair and not surprising for government.

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#51

Co-worker got fired within a week of being hired (I was still helping train him) because he bumped someone else's car in the parking lot and then lied about it. It was barely any damage to either car, but he didn't say anything when it happened and when the other car's owner reported it, he lied, apparently forgetting about the security cameras.

Dude could have just gone to the front desk and "Hey, I just bumped someone's car, can we find out whose it is and I'll pay to fix the damages" - and again, it was less than fifty bucks of damage to the other car. Or he could have owned up to it when confronted about it.

But instead he got tossed out on his a*s and lost a job that started at $60k, and since he was on an H1-B visa and couldn't find a new job soon enough he had to move back to India.

The company was totally in the right, though - in his job role, he'd have the ability to make the sort of mistakes that could be fixed very easily if reported right away, but could cost the company days or weeks of lost productivity if ignored or hidden. And he just demonstrated that he'll not only fail to report his own mistakes, but will lie about them when caught.

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Florence O'Grady
Florence O'Grady
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The company's HR should have had a sit down meeting with the gentleman, holding the H1-B Visa, from India and explained the differences between how stuff like this incident is handled in the USA , compared to India. He should have been given a second chance. If you have never visited India (I haven't. Do read and talk to people.), you would never understand the pressure put on children to make good, so they can have a better life than their parents. They have pressure to make money, so they can get married, then have children, help their siblings and maybe some extended family to get educated, to take care of their parents in their old age, and to send money home, on a regular basis. There is a lot of effort and time put in to get an H1-B Visa or any work visa for the USA. The time, work, effort, and money, pput in by the company to get this one individual from India, should also be in consideration, before they kick the guy to the curb. My whole English class had to do a paper about Immigration for our college professor, in the 1990s. I did a lot of research and found enough Information for 3 papers. People do not go through the process of getting a visa for any country without a lot of planning and angst.

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#52

New hire showed up, it's a physical job and was described as such. I started to show him how to 'rake a floor' in a malthouse, he said it made his back hurt and he wanted to do something else. Proceeded to show him out to empty the kiln and he said he was too hot and wasn't going to do it. This was 1 hour into the 10 hour shift....boss sent him on his way.

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#53

Hired a new dude, he tried to slip a co-worker drugs within 10 minutes of being there. Fired on spot.

Genuinely curious if he just goes from job to job to collect unemployment while growing his drug enterprise. Hate the game and the player I guess?

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Con O Cuinn
Con O Cuinn
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tried to sell them drugs or slip them a roofie? An important piece of information

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#54

50 People Share The Fastest Ways They’ve Ever Seen Someone Get Fired Worked at a grocery store a few years ago. A new guy was hired and on the second day on the job, he was caught stealing food.

He would grab items off the shelves and walk to the break room and eat them.

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Xenon
Xenon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that may happen ore than people realize.

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#55

I've had a lot of guys get fired on the first day. My industry attracts all the wrong people. One guy kept showing twerking videos to his female coworker (who's dad was the manager) then started asking her to try it.

Had a guy throw a customers bathroom sink out a 2nd floor window and obliterated the deck below.

I've told this one before but one guy came in with a bad attitude so the trainer said "wash this window like your job depends on it." He did very badly so she sent him home. Total of 20 minutes he was clocked in.

We had a sub contractor show up to a job with new shirts that said "Don't worry we speak English" and immediately went into a racist rant about how funny he thought they were.

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María Hermida
María Hermida
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could somebody please explain what's so racist about the shirts? I don't get it. I'm not saying we Spanish, or European in general, are not racist, but it is perhaps less obvious? I think racism in the USA is everywhere, extreme, or perhaps people are more aware of it. I don't know. I don't understand why some people think there's some "superior value" in whiteness.

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#56

She fell asleep in the lobby in front of a camera and slept through a code blue.

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Florence O'Grady
Florence O'Grady
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A code blue, in a hospital, means someone has gone into respiratory/pulmonary arrest and is no longer breathing. If they have gone into cardiac arrest, their blood flow has stopped, meaning their heart has stopped beating. It means be ready to flatten yourself against a wall and get out of the way of whoever is running to save that life.

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#57

We had a new guy and he lasted for 2 days. Guy was writing a book about government spending and said he was being watched by the FBI. The manager said he was crazy and they got into a shouting match. Manager put up with him and let it slide. On the second day he called another co-worker a racist for not letting him do things his way when they were just trying to show him how the work is done. So he walked out. Manager was like "Thank god" and fired his a*s.

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#58

Onboarding employee fell asleep multiple times over her first week in training sessions that were presented in person by a VP who had flown over to the US from the UK.

She must have been fearless.

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#59

I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we present to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in and says he’s tired from the drive in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans. He comes back a few minutes later and when asked to present he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up.

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#60

New IT guy at a (small—20 employees) newspaper I worked at.

I showed up early and opened the office. New IT guy showed up next for his first shift. He was totally, utterly drunk off his tits: lurching, stumbling, reeking, giggly and slurring… at 8:15 AM. **Way** beyond a hangover.

Confessed that he’d had a “couple of drinks last night” to celebrate his new job.

Managing editor came in and paged IT Guy into his office to talk about the job. I hadn’t said a word to anyone about him. “Give him enough rope” and all that.

He was finished by 9:15.

I walked home through downtown around 5:00 that afternoon. Ran into IT Guy outside one of those old men dive bars (he was maybe 28). He was all f****d up again. Told me he’d had a couple of drinks to mourn the loss of his new job.

Don’t remember his proper name: I’d like to find his LinkedIn to see what became of him.

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#61

Co worker showed up to work drunk. Was told to go home. She mouthed back and started screaming insults at the President of the company. Fired!!

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#62

During drop-off hours, our preschool receptionist decided she needed to have coffee asap. Instead of heading down to our staff room and making a pot, she decided to leave our whole school unlocked and left to go down to Biggby Coffee.

That was a big no no. She was fired as soon as she came back.

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Jessica SpeLangm
Jessica SpeLangm
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she was brand new, did nobody explain the rules to her before firing her?

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#63

3 of us starting a job where we managed call and email volumes and scheduling in a call centre. We had the ability to flash messages on an LED board to a couple hundred people about call volumes etc. On the second week my genius colleague typed out something to go on the board ending in "f**k faces" with the intention of deleting the last bit before hitting enter. Unfortunately backspace is very close to enter and there was no way of cancelling it. It even beeped loudly to get everyone's attention.

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#64

New person got access to medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was Walked out and gone the second week.

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Kim
Kim
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My BIL ex did something like that, checked out familymembers and boyfriends in the municipal hospital reccords, then told a boyfriend about via text, he screendumped and sent to her boss. She was fired and can find work anywhere now.

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#65

At one job I had, within 10 minutes of being hired, a guy was called into the boss' office. Boss held him for a bit. I can hear the boss yelling at the guy about how they discovered that he immediately started searching the internet for C.P. The police show up and the guy is arrested and hauled away. Turned out he didn't want the job, just a place where he could surf the internet for free for CP. Apparently, he could beat the adult blocking software that was standard on most work networks.

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#66

I'm an insurance agent. I had a client once, young kid who just graduated college. He and GF and both families went out for a nice meal to celebrate him landing a dream job.

He got pulled over on the way home and given a DUI. Lost the job before he even started...and not to mention my insurance company non-renewed him for getting a DUI.

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#67

I had a job that used a temp agency for customer service phone reps for awhile. I started at the company when it was very early stage so the department management was essentially just 2 supervisors who had been there for a year or so.

There was like a 2 month period where we just kept getting the strangest assortment of people from the temp agency, and they'd only last a day or two. People who smelled so bad you couldn't be in the same room as them, people that were so socially awkward they could barely form a sentence. One guy fell asleep in his chair like 20 minutes after he got there. Another guy got fired on the spot because the supervisor had to ask him like three times to just wait in a room but he kept getting up and wandering around the building and going into people's offices. They found out another guy was just continuously picking up the phone and immediately hanging up. One girl was smoking weed in the bathroom (and this is just a normal office building) on her 2nd or 3rd day -- not even a vape, but just ripping a bubbler pipe... you could smell it throughout the whole floor.

There were a couple of good employees that came in through that agency and stayed, but half the time it felt like a prank.

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#68

I was a concrete truck driver. Some new guy on his first day of work, a couple hours into his shift backed into a water tower and knocked it over. Luckily nobody was hurt. It flooded the jobsite and shut it down for the day. The manager drove to the site to drive him to the clinic for the mandatory drug test we all take when an accident happens. When they got to the clinic the dude just ran. Busted out running and disappeared.

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sharyn turnicky
sharyn turnicky
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently the results of the drug test arrived before the actual test!

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#69

Used to work for a Telco and on day one we took a defensive driving course. During the test towards the end of the day, this idiot (who's old man was in management at the company) said "buckle up" and drove like an absolute maniac, assuming he was untouchable. The following morning he was escorted out.

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#70

I had a co-worker who showed up totally high like she made absolutely no sense high. My boss had to drive her home because she was messed up high and this co-worker was never seen again.

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#71

At a restaurant, a server had a horrible table that also stiffed her. Anyways, they had started to leave and asked for to go coffees. Soooo she went and got two extra big*ss cups, filled them with coffee, went outside where they had pulled the car up to the entrance, and slung that s**t all over them.

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#72

On the guys first day, watching training videos, CEO walks buy and sees him with feet up and on his phone...gone before 8am.

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#73

I had a friend who managed a bar. She got caught on camera staying behind with a male customer after closing, drinking bottles of Cristal without paying for them and f*cking him in the bar area. The owner saw it on camera the next morning, went to the bar, found the main door unlocked and open, money still in the till and her asleep in her room upstairs. He banged on the door until she woke up, they had an argument and she walked out and went to her parents house. She never went back, not even to get her clothes etc. She later admitted she didn't go back as she knew he'd find several thousand in pilfered takings under her mattress. I don't hang out with her any more.

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#74

I owned a hair salon with my husband. We hired a guy and during his very first shift, he worked for an hour or so then said he had to leave for some reason...an appointment or something like that. A meeting? I don't remember, but when I said he couldn't leave he became indignant and mopey.
Then, it turned out that he literally only had one comb with him. For a 6 hour shift.
When asked how he expected to work with one comb and meet state sanitation standards (soaking combs in barbecide & water for at least 10 minutes) his response was "I dip it" as he made a dipping and swirling motion with his hand.
I showed him the door.
He was clearly not acting "right" and was going to be nothing but trouble.

That happened over a decade ago, but to this day we still say "dip it" or a word that rhymes with dip to make a joke.
He made an impression.

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Sonja
Sonja
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did he bring even one comb? Why doesn't a hair salon have it's own combs?

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#75

I worked at a non profit and they had hired a new admin assistant. The first half of the morning she did some mandatory trainings and then sat with me to do some more in-depth trainings second half of the morning. It was then lunch time and I said we’d continue after lunch.

When lunch was coming to an end I saw HR walk her to her desk and walk her out of the building. Turns out she asked our CEO if she could leave early. There was so reason attached just, because.

Lasted a total of 4-5 hours

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