30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace

People get sacked for all kinds of reasons: poor performance, lateness, violation of policies, ethical breaches, whatever. But have you ever thought about the record time some folks were shown the door?

"What’s the fastest way you’ve ever seen a new coworker get fired?" – this netizen took to one of Reddit's favorite communities, inviting its members to share instances of new hires getting axed faster than lightning. The thread garnered over 15K upvotes as well as 8.2K comments.

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace A coworker sent an email to a female team member that he had a dream the night before that they had gotten married and he "impregnated her".

She sat across from me and I literally saw her face as she read the email. A strange look came across her face, then she walked into the managers office.

She left the office and he got called in and less than a minute later was packing his things.

I believe from start to finish it took less than 5 minutes for him to send the email and get fired.

CruelHandLuke_ , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:

137points

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

No. Just no. Ew.

47points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Pizza delivery gig:

New guy on his first shift. Claims he's got previous experience, so doesn't need training.

Clocks-in. Grabs a few pizza orders ready for delivery. Leaves with his car to deliver. An hour later, the calls start coming-in about the status of their order. They haven't been delivered.

The guy just grabbed himself a bunch of free pizzas and left!!!

I secretly admired him!

Sunless_Tatooine , Norma Mortenson Report

Final score:

136points

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TruthoftheHeart 1 year ago

Pretty dumb considering at most Pizza jobs you are going to end up with free pizza all the time, without the possibility of jail.

49points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Worked for startups the past couple of years before I recently took a new gig but we had to hire about 100 people in the span of 2 weeks which I told my boss was a bad idea but the CEO insisted

Hired a young lady, she had a spotty resume but was very cheerful and friendly in the interview and my boss's instructions were if they are nice and friendly "pass them on to me"

we oversaw the customer service relations for this company

On her first day she came in 15 minutes late, got into an argument with a customer on her first training call and took the mic and farted into it as loud as I've ever heard a human being fart

We paid her for the full day

Best hire ever

_Nolofinwe_ , iram shehzad Report

Final score:

119points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

This is the type of stuff that keeps me going, I long to see an employee execute this beautiful scenario...

35points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace We hired a director for our office. About a week later the women in the office were complaining about him, saying he was sexist.

Turns out he was in a meeting and a woman tried speaking and he told her that her opinion didn’t matter.

He was gone within a couple days.

Burrito_Loyalist , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

117points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Hopefully he learned his lesson. I'm betting not...

28points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace We hired a woman who turned out to be pretty abrasive. How she got hired, I have no idea. Our secretary was the sweetest lady in the office and never complained until this new hire talked with her for a few minutes. Right after talking to this horrible person she approached the boss and said she would walk off the job if this new worker stayed on with us. By lunch half the office was ready to walk off the job because of this abrasive person. She just had an utterly horrible way of talking to people that made them feel degraded and enraged. She was let go at the end of the day.

saltnotsugar , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

109points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

A boss that listens to their employees?? That's rare

51points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Day 1, delivering pizzas. I was the trainer.

Dude wasn't familiar with the town at all (this was before GPS was a thing).

Second delivery, he gets in the car, and proceeds to floor it in the parking lot, showing off all 80 horsepower for the 30 feet before slamming on the brakes to turn onto the main street, nearly hitting a customer and her young child.

I say whoah, slow down in the Parking lot, you almost hit that kid.

"F**k em" was his response.

That was his last delivery, lasted all of about 90 minutes.

talontd92tsi , Oleksandr Canary Islands Report

Final score:

108points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Thank goodness...What a cool guy, putting a mother and child in danger /S

24points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Worked 2nd shift at a factory. Late in the evening, we would prop open the doors along the side street to try to catch a breeze in the summertime. One night, this drunk guy stumbles in through the side door and just start striking up conversations with everyone like he owns the place. I run over and try to tell him that he can’t be in there, and he starts telling me he’s supposed to start work that night. We kind of argue for about 5 or 10 minutes about the fact that I didn’t have anyone new starting that night, and I finally tell him that he needs to contact someone in the office the next morning.

When I came into work the next day, the first shift supervisor told me that he was supposed to have a new guy start that day but he never showed up. I told him that the guy had actually shown up… 12 hours early and staggering drunk.

In a way, he was fired before his first day on the job.

Phrobowroe , Life Of Pix Report

Final score:

107points

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Captain McSmoot 1 year ago

Absolute gold!

15points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace In high school I worked at a clothing store as a cashier. Guy next to me has his sister come through with a huge pile of merchandise.

He scans one item that was on clearance for like $2 over and over again for everything she had, which was likely hundreds of dollars.

Didn’t realize the manager was standing right behind him.

“Go clock out and give me your name tag, you’re gone.”

He didn’t argue or anything, just put his head down and walked off.

The manager jumps on the register to clear the transaction out and the sister takes out her card, “This is gonna be a credit.”

Manager says “Not for $2 it’s not, get out of here.”

The sister actually tried to complete the purchase like nothing had happened lol

Plantayne , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

105points

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Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago

"Can I get a discount? I just found out my brother lost his job."

57points

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace When I was in college working at Walmart (cashier), I trained a girl on the register one evening. Maybe a week later, she comes through my lane buying groceries. I ask her how she's been, since I haven't seen her since the day after I trained her, and she tells me, unprompted, she's waiting on her court date.

One of her friends went through her checkout lane, but she only actually scanned about a third of the items. About $1,500 of merchandise went out the door free of charge.

My response out loud was, "oh". My response in my head was, "did you seriously not see the camera mounted above *every single register*???"

Queasy_Box_3869 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

99points

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Blatidae 1 year ago

I'd have thought the ex-cashier would've been banned from the place!

43points

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#10

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I know someone who was hired as a manager of some retail store Being the manager he thought he could show up whenever he damned well pleased on his fist day since he’s the boss He showed up around noon and found the store closed. Turns out as the boss only he had the keys so the staff couldn’t open the store Big boss man didn’t have to worry about opening the store the next day. He no longer had a job

lazynlovinit , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

94points

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Captain McSmoot 1 year ago

He didn't exactly have the "keys to success", did he? Eh?... eh?... (I'll show myself out.)

43points

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#11

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace New guy offered to pull a semi trailer to a dock for unloading. Said he did it in the Army all the time. I told him, nah, you gotta get tested out by the safety guy first, someone else will handle it.

5 minutes later, I see him pulling the trailer around anyway. OK, I gotta go tell this dude he's fired 2 hours in.

Before I could advise him of his updated employment status, the damn trailer came loose of the tractor. Slid right off the back.

He *did* know how to drive a semi. He *did not* know how to check the trailer was locked in.

ginger_whiskers , Quintin Gellar Report

Final score:

90points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Not quite a semi. Did see a semi-new hire lose a trailer with a boat on top of it down a steep hill and into the lake. It was epic, getting the boat/trailer combo out of the lake, not so much since the trailer somehow turned around and speared itself into the sediment...

14points

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#12

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Hopped on the forklift with no one else around. "Been doing this for years," he'd told us.

Lift started leaking hydraulic fluid. Dude just goes about his business unloading a truck, handling orders and so on. Told no one. Sprayed that oily mess all over the entire warehouse until there was none left, went to lunch. There was literally a lake of it.

Had to shut down the warehouse for a week to clean it up. Tens if not hundreds of thousands in damaged product and late/cancelled orders. We asked him if he knew it was leaking. "Yes." We asked him why he didn't stop or tell anyone. "I wanted to get my work done so I could go to lunch."

Even after being fired, he still didn't think he had done anything wrong.

bottletee0 , National Cancer Institute Report

Final score:

85points

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Spocks's Mom 1 year ago

NOTHING gets in the way of lunches!!!😱😡

10points

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#13

In fast food. A guy who thought he was a real ladies man (21?). Groped a few of the female coworkers butts. Then groped the boss lady’s butt. He was gone.

Edit: Forgot to mention, that was his first day.

Revo63 Report

Final score:

83points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Wow, multiple in one day...

15points

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#14

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace How about getting fired *before* you start working?

Our boss hired a new person - as a contractor, and he was available to work immediately, so he was scheduled to start work the day after his interview.

Next morning my boss turns up, very annoyed, and shows me his phone. The new hire had sent several rambling and confused SMSes that could be summarised as "had a few drinks last night, won't be able to come into work today, you know how it is".

My boss told him the contract was cancelled.

BeerPoweredNonsense , picjumbo.com Report

Final score:

81points

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Bored Potato 1 year ago

Wow. Fired before starting the job. That's gotta be a new record on this post.

4points

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#15

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Worked in a sales call center about 10 years ago, real braindead work. New guy starts on a Monday morning, after he gets trained up on the basics (which takes about an hour), he gets assigned a desk and sets off to work.

30 minutes later, it looks like little puffs of steam are rising up from his computer monitor. Turns out he was vaping on one of those disposable ecigarettes, the kind that sort of tried to look like real cigarettes. He gets told by the boss that we can't vape indoors, and if he wants to, he'll have to go outside to do it on a break.
About 30 minutes later again, the same thing happens. He gets caught again, and is told in no uncertain terms that if he wants to keep his job, he'll stop vaping at his desk.

An hour later, he gets caught hiding under his desk vaping, and is promptly fired, all before lunch time. Dude could have just gone outside.

Mr_Itch , Jill Burrow Report

Final score:

79points

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Red Reilly 1 year ago

Had this girl start when I worked in fashion, seemed to be alright, nearing the end of the day and she sparks up a cigarette in the middle of the open plan office with all the fashion directors a few desks away. After the total shock she was whisked into a room with her things and fired.

30points

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#16

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace We hired a new guy locally to help us do an audio/video system installation on a Navy base. We were a government contractor located near DC, and this installation was near New Orleans, so hiring some locals was commonplace for us.

The equipment had been delivered to a Navy warehouse downtown. All of it on pallets. We needed to break up the pallets and load everything into a couple of vans that we'd rented, so we could take it to the job site. Because it was the Navy's warehouse, protocol was to wait for one of their guys to drive the forklift.

New guy didn't want to wait, and jumped into the seat of a forklift. Said he had plenty of experience with forklifts. Proceeded to ram one of its forks through a very expensive new 80" diagonal plasma display. Panicked, and backed the forklift into the rear of one of the vans, smashing it in and destroying a taillight. Hopped off the forklift and said "Cool!"

All of this within the first fifteen minutes of his first day.

ferddo , Tiger Lily Report

Final score:

67points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago

Plenty of experience, just not positive experience.

16points

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#17

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Guy lost his job before he even had it.

Opening in an entry-level position. Nepotism was big in this company. Current worker got his friend a job...all he had to do was go through the motions of the interview and check all the boxes.

Standard interview question: ***"What would you do if you had a disagreement with a coworker that you are unable to resolve"***

Acceptable answer is: ***"I would take it to my manager or HR."***

His answer: ***"I'd take him out back and beat the s**t out of him."***

GrimSpirit42 , Sora Shimazaki Report

Final score:

66points

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Jesse Setliffe 1 year ago

Honesty isn't always the best policy

10points

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#18

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I was training a new hire for a large online retailer who, at the time, focused on books CDs and DVDs. One of the books we shelved was on Germany's U-boats. He suddenly felt the urge to tell me about all the wonderful and misunderstood ideas der fuhrer had. He never even made it to his lunch break.

Youse_a_choosername , Lilly Rum Report

Final score:

64points

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Ugh. Should have told him to take a flying leap.

11points

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#19

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I worked maintenance on a golf course. The owner hired this really hot girl to be the beverage cart girl. She had no experience, but I guess it doesn't matter when you're really hot. After about an hour of training, she gets sent out on the course in a cart full of booze. Later on that day, we start finding random trash across the golf course, consisting of empty airplane bottles and both full and empty bags of chips. We follow the empty airplane bottles like Hansel and Gretel until we find the beverage cart half submerged in a pond. By time we figured out what had happened, she had jumped in her car and left.

startinearly , THIS IS ZUN Report

Final score:

63points

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ArodTheHorrible 1 year ago

Not long after that, we found her car in the same pond!

18points

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#20

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace First day, her grandmother died. Understandable. Second day, her car broke down. Bad luck. Third day she had no electricity and couldn’t blow dry her hair. She was told not to bother coming in at all.

exitzero , Los Muertos Crew Report

Final score:

61points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Oooo we had a guy who's grandmother died once a week

27points

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#21

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace New guy came in to work hammered out of his mind and started trying to operate a forklift right in front of the regional safety manager.

A *lot* of forklift certified and "right in front of my osha handbook" memes were shared that day.

Generico300 , ELEVATE Report

Final score:

59points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

Part of my job is hopping into a forklift every once in a while. Forklifts are near the top of machinery you do not want to operate while hammered :)

18points

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#22

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace A guy at my work was caught playing World of Warcraft for hours each day. Boss called him in and told him that was wholly unacceptable and he had to stop immediately or he'd be canned.

Less than an hour later, IT calls the same boss and says the guy is back in his office playing again. He was let go that day.

jpiro , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

58points

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PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago

I lost my bff to this game, it’s like heroin I swear

21points

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#23

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace 6 hours. Call center job. She showed up to orientation on day 1 about an hour late. Hey stuff happens. Then we go on a 15 min break. She goes out to take a phone call, comes back in after about 45 min. We go to lunch, it's 30 minutes. She comes back over an hour later. We go on afternoon break, when the 15 min break is up, one of the trainers gets up and steps out in the hall and closes the door behind him. We hear her arrive and argue with him about 20 minutes after that. He comes back in and gets the stuff she left at her desk and we never see her again.

misoranomegami , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

58points

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Abby Palmer 1 year ago

Who wants to bet she was late to leaving 🤔

2points

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#24

transferred to my pharmacy from another store and acted like she was the best thing that ever happened to that place. bossing everyone around, being condescending and disrespectful to everyone including those with doctorate degrees when she failed out of community college, being loud enough you could hear her outside (even with patient info which is a major hipaa violation) making mistakes constantly, refusing to accept the correction, lying about both important things and irrelevant stuff no one asked her about, you name it she did it. she lasted just under three weeks before she got caught for stealing controlled drugs. she’d take 1-3 bottles in varying quantities of different [medicaments] home with her every couple days and act like the distributor messed up. she’s in federal prison now :)

FarOrganization8267 Report

Final score:

58points

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ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago

“medicaments” the predicament that comes from stealing controlled medication.

27points

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#25

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace A coworker grabbed my a*s, and when another employee confronted him about it, the first guy called the second a "lying [n-word]."

BorkieDorkie811 , Jason Strull Report

Final score:

58points

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R Dennis 1 year ago

Was the first guy named Donald?

28points

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#26

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I work in software engineering and a couple of times I've seen people let go after like two weeks because they just couldn't do the job at a all.

Not me personally, but a former coworker told me about an incident at a prior job where the person who showed up to work was *not* the same person they interviewed. Obviously they were immediately let go.

Renmauzuo , nappy Report

Final score:

55points

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GirlFriday 1 year ago

This happened at my job, too. Accounting hired three new employees, and one of the people who showed up was not the person who was interviewed three times by the department heads. It was explained to me that the person who showed up thought that because the interviews were done via Zoom, the interviewer would not be in the same location as the job. She had her sister was older and more experienced go through the interviews for her.

10points

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#27

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Got a speeding ticket, 20+ mph over, in the company car picking up lunch for the staff. Day 1.

TuPacSchwartz411 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

55points

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El Cucuy 1 year ago

LOL on the picture

13points

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#28

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I used to work night audit/front desk at a motel adjacent to major highways. It was a super chill job, I loved my boss, and it was cool by me.

But God, trying to hire and train someone to take over my hours - once for maternity leave, and then when I was moving away - was a nightmare. One lady claimed to be computer literate, and then tried to use the mouse to physically touch the correct spot on the monitor when I asked her to click on a field. Another got extremely confused when I mentioned that sleeping with a guest was completely out of bounds. A guy got arrested (and fired of course) for selling drugs to someone out the night window. It was just an absolute s**t show.

Before I moved, I gave my boss a 2-month notice, because I knew hiring and training was gonna be a nightmare. About a week before my final shift, we finally got someone in place. She was more than a bit strange and could certainly have used a spot of mental health care, but hey, I can't throw stones. She showed up, grasped the basics of the job, etc. About a week after I left, I learned that she had quit because she didn't realize that night audit was a purely overnight job.

Idk.

50EffingCabbages , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

52points

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TheGoodBoi 1 year ago

🤷‍♂️

6points

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#29

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace I was working as a stable boy, and I was showing the new girl around the stables. As I introduced her to the horses, she was very apprehensive to come near them, refusing to even step into the stall (she signed on to help care for the horses.)

Later that day, she admitted that the horses terrified her, so the boss let her go.

AlternativeFilm8886 , TheOther Kev Report

Final score:

49points

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Jaguarundi 1 year ago

I've seen this. People that think that all horses are like the horses in the movies, no poop, no pee, no horsie-hysterics. Sorry folks, they're just not.

13points

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#30

30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace Day 1 shot up right outside the building. Clocked in, went to work, was found an hour later slumped over a table slowly munching on stolen muffins like an elderly dog Clarification. Shot up, as in they injected [illegal substances] with a needle.

Aetheldrake , Inzmam Khan Report

Final score:

47points

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Drugs. The word is drugs. Ffs.

31points

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Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

What do you think ?

GoGoPDX 1 year ago (edited)

I was a server some nights and weekends on top of my nursing job when I was pregnant to save as much money I could to stay home with my son as long as I could. I was about 6 months along, very visibly pregnant. We hired a new dish washer, who was freaking out from the time we started the lunch rush. Getting annoyed easily, throwing things, just really pissed about every aspect of the job. I knew he was going to get let go after the lunch rush ended, but, when delivering some dishes to the bar, the bartender asked if he could grab the dirty dish tub while he was walking out. I was standing besides the bar entrance, and he turned around in anger for being asked to do his job, stormed over to the bar, and then pushed me while saying "get out of my way". Well, I fell with a tray full of full drinks, back, into the chairs, and then on my butt. One of my managers was close, and was so mad that he chased the guy out of the restaurant right then and there, in the middle of a full dining room of customers, and since some saw what happened, a couple of the customers went after the guy too. The cops were called, and an ambulance because I was bleeding everywhere from a nasty laceration on my arm. Me and my son were ok in the end, but it was a really s****y and scary experience.

9points

Elizabeth Tayler 1 year ago

He should have been criminally charged for that, pos.

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Deanna Crichley 1 year ago

I was an international telephone operator in one of only two centers in the US in the early 80's. Our building was as bomb proof as it could be at that time, and we were advised upon our hiring, that we could be locked into our positions in the case of national emergency, we did military callout telephone trees, and handled high seas traffic. We handled regular international traffic, but it was impressed upon us from day one of training that national security was job one. Stupid kid during first week of training came in, sat down, and threw a hand grenade on the training table. Building security and local cops were there in a heartbeat. He was in cuffs before we even knew what happened. He was crying "it was a joke! It's a toy!". It was a toy. It was obvious though, that this kid's judgement could not be trusted.

3points

Mabelbabel 1 year ago

My ex was a management consultant and an independent contractor. He started a contract with a company who assigned him two members of staff (the company's full time employees) to assist with the programme. After the first morning, my ex went to the director and said he couldn't work with one of the staff that had been assigned-she had no understanding of the project, and he found that frustrating and annoying. He demanded she was sacked and said it was her or him. The director choose him-he was asked to leave after less than a day. He could have just asked if there were other staff that could help, but he had to be all dramatic about it, and it misfired.

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30 Of The Fastest Lay-Offs Due To The Insane Things That People Actually Did In A New Workplace

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