i feel this in my bones. my mom thinks like this person’s parents.

The dog isn't the one who'll be picking out their nursing home.

Amen. Killing and threatening to kill my pets, loved ones, my animal friends does not motivate me to follow ur rules.

for the past year I have been stuggling to make my parents understand this as well.

❤

Oof... sounds like how I felt with my mom growing up. I try hard now not to be that parent, but should and will actively check in with each of my kids after school today.

But when the kid gets a phone, the parents will freak out about it whenever he/she/they/ are on it.

Hits hard.

6 years old and they don't say goodnight anymore ... I don't know why this one in particular stuck out to me, but I find it very telling about how much the parents care. Poor kid :-(

Teens should get some independence, it should not be either a whooping whenever the kid has an opinion or helicopter parents.

I'm still growing up (just turned 18) these are some of the rules I have/have had from my parents: No phone At all. No social media. Everything must be watched with them No sleepover All friends must be watched at all times (and judged) Will get rid of friends for you, if they disagree with the slightest thing No swears Must finish all food Because your female you must have long hair and wear skirts, and also eat 3/4 less food than your siblings (we are literally the same weight+height) Must ask permission for Everything (including food and bathroom) You can talk to us!!(but we will act like everything doesn't matter) Favorite kids is normal. If my brother is depressed- let's get icecream! If im depressed- you can t be because your childhood was perfect! :) We will yell at you and tell you you are worthless. No dating is allowed ever. Must be your moms personal maid, and your brothers caregiver (because your a girl) This isn't even half of them! :D

I had a revelation at age 13, and discovered I could form my own opinions and not just parrot my mother. She REALLY hated that.

I’m scared to be an adult because I need to learn so many more social things, and I can’t learn these things when being controlled, I’m scared that I’m going to end up in a bad place without meaning to, or I’ll get hurt and not know how to fix it, I’m scared that I’m going to make mistakes and be stuck with it, I know as an adult I won’t be able to go to my parents, I need them to let me go out and make mistakes now when they can be here to help me through them, cause whenever I try to go to them for a mistake I made they get really mad at me and blame me, and I chicken out if I make a different mistake cause I don’t want that fear and guilt again, why don’t they understand it took so much for me to go to them for help and they made me feel worse and now I don’t know what to do

my parents were over protective so i get this so much. im still figuring out to live life based on my terms and conditions.

Sigh. Yes, but. A kid going through puberty is having their entire brain rearranging itself, their executive function is messed up, and their abilities at empathy are only marginal. This only is fully over by 24 or so, so no, most teens cannot be trusted to make the right decisions. That being said, they should mostly be monitored, not controlled, and parents should only step in when the actions of the teens are such that they can cause irreparable damage. Teens should also have discipline and boundaries, rather than punishment and parental control.

Tell that to MY parents. They are literally keeping PARENTAL CONTROLS ON MY PHONE until I'm LITERALLY 21. That means even after I'm an adult I'll still have them.

I’m 25, and my parents still do this to me.

I clash with my mom all the time cause she tries to control everything about me and has repeatedly started crying about me being trans to try and get me to not get a binder or something. She needs to accept that I'm not constantly in danger and even though our neighborhood is dangerous, I feel way safer wandering around alone without any weapons or s**t (that she doesn't let me have anyways even when I asked for a bulletproof thing to put in my backpack cause school shootings) than I do anywhere near her.

Yep. So many people disrespect/disregard what teenagers have to say/do but then say "you're an adult now start acting like one" as soon as graduation hits. Make up your minds folks! A diploma isn't a magic paper!

ftp... you just said what i keep trying to tell my whole family...i appreciate that (12 yo here)

i agree

EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD!

In school the students are told what to think. They are not coached how to think and evaluate information. Parents who think they are protecting their child are crippling them on HOW to think and evaluate. Teaching a child how to, you teach him how to live. Feed a hungry man you feed him once. Teach a man how to feed himself, you feed him for life.

some parents will Always control.....I was 42 years old the first time I openly defied my mother. ....she tried to control me until her death.

This

yes, just yes

Hmmmmm. At 18 you are permitted to move out.

We parents trust our kids to make decent choices and be honest with us parents as far as they show respect and responsibility as teens. Under 13, you're going to be on a leash, over 13 to 16, you've got to prove you aren't a complete idiot, over 16, well, I'm sill responsible for you legally for another 2 years, but if you show me, your parent, that you're not a complete idiot, I'm going to trust you more but expect you to be complicent with a few rules.

So true, especially for an oldest or only child

i want to hug this kid and tell them it isn’t their fault. i was raised like this and it’s very detrimental to the rest of your life

This hots me hard

I'm so sorry kid. I can relate

this breaks my heart

Danm

not fair

9 years old..... I think I hate this entire post

I know I will get downvoted, but is is a fun relaxing game. No need to prioritize it over a kid though.

this is how it was with my sisters for a lot of my life… it just led them to disliking me and ignoring me even more for a very long time

So heartbreaking