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Therapist Tries To Open Parents’ Eyes By Sharing What 28 Teenagers And Kids Have Told Her
It’s only after you become a parent that you realize raising your child has a lot more hidden challenges than you could have foreseen. And we’re not just talking about how tough it can be to help them out with their homework and what to pitch to Santa for this year’s Christmas gifts. Good parents take the time to look after their kids’ mental health, not just their physical well-being.
A roof over their head and food on their table is absolutely essential, but how you communicate and how you treat them is absolutely vital for their welfare. There are various fears and anxieties to tackle… though the sad reality is that traumatic experiences can’t always be avoided. Nobody is perfect and all parents make mistakes.
Trauma counselor Courtney, who has 18 years of experience in her field, filmed a series of emotionally impactful videos on TikTok that we weren’t prepared to see. She shared the things that her child and teenage clients told her about their parents, by writing them on sticky notes. It just goes to show how insightful and smart kids really are, and how vital it is to actively listen to them. Scroll down to see what she revealed in her three incredibly powerful TikToks, and to see how the internet reacted.
More info: TikTok | YouTube | Podcast
Trauma counselor Courtney revealed some of the most heartbreaking things her kid and teen clients told her during therapy
Image credits: ask.courtney
You can watch the first part of her video series right over here
@ask.courtney They gave permission to share #teens #teenthoughts #parentsoftiktok #parenting #parenting101 #familiesoftiktok #therapy #familymatters ♬ Einaudi: Experience - Ludovico Einaudi & Daniel Hope & I Virtuosi Italiani
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#1
Powerful Musk Ox 2 years ago
Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes they use "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority" and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say "if you won't respect me I won't respect you" and they mean "if you won't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person" and they think they're being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay.
Bluebrains 2 years ago
something I'd like to say to a lot of the people in this thread's comments, I'm so sorry that any of you can relate to these posts, and I'm sending love and support. <3
Bryn 2 years ago
Reminds me of when my mom used to get mad at me for saying "okay". So, then what else am I supposed to say? "I understand." "Message received." "Communication understood."
Haley Sterne 2 years ago (edited)
People seem to think that if you are not blindly obedient you are disrespectful. I am 34 and told my dad I disagreed with him, and he yelled at me saying I was not respecting him, that I had to respect him because he is my father, and tried to kick me out of my moms house. I did not insult him, I did not raise my voice, and I did not demean him in any way. Simply stated facts and disagreed with him. He and so many others also think that you have to respect someone due to their position in your life. So blind obedience because they demand it. Poor kid.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
My dad thought like this it was awful ......because I had opinions
Bad Ass69 1 year ago
It did not matter what I said. My mother was a complete bit©h no matter what. I could run into a burning building and save dozens of babies. And could never do anything right! My brother on the other hand could rape and kill a station wagon full of nuns and not only be wrong. But somehow it would be the nuns fault!!!
Bad Ass69 1 year ago
Not be wrong! Where did that word disappear to spell check?
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Kaye Nicole (Nikki) 2 years ago
This. I’m autistic and was always told the ‘tone’ I had was an attitude.
Bad Ass69 1 year ago
I got that from my mother regularly without any explanation. I remember one time I was 12 years old and she told me to rake the yard! I told her. It's raining cats and dogs out there! Slap! Right across the face. Don't talk back to me you miserable ingrate! I'm lucky I didn't catch pneumonia being soaking wet in the cold weather. I have not even spoke to the b***h in over 20 years!
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Nathaniel Moore 2 years ago (edited)
As a parent I can listen to opinion. No is not an opinion it is a response. Generally speaking I have already weighed your "opinion" and decided you have to clean your room anyway.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
Yeah, as a parent I must say that context is necessary. Saying "no" to a request to clean your room? That's not a "difference of opinion".
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DuckDuckGooseberry 1 month ago
Yep. The only way an opinion won't cause offence is if it matches theirs. 😑
Michelle The Zombey 9 months ago (edited)
Same if I ask why is something or why do i have to do something. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm trying to understand!
Ryan Griswold 1 year ago
Then say something besides "no", because that by itself, is disrespectful whether you want it to be or not.
Someone Somewhere 1 year ago
I hope there’s one further down that says that my short, one-word answers aren’t me being rude, they’re me being a tired introvert at the end of a long day.
Lisa Whipp Myhre 1 year ago
I didn't write this, but I could have. And the only time I said No and stuck to my guns, I was kicked out of the house, three weeks after I graduated from high school.
Alexandra Sanders 1 year ago
like gramma i just wanna be left alone, and i dont le all the time..YOU DO!!!!!!!!! (shes the reason i cry over the sallest things...worst part is im only 12 almost 13 and still live with her :´) )
naylene hess 1 year ago
Don't worry one day youll be able to make your own choices and she cant do s**t about it :) stay strong i know its tough but youll make it ❤️
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Andrea Kehe 2 years ago
This entire post is so sad... I am hoping the situation has changed for many of these kids
Sardonyx_3 2 years ago
My mom always says to "stop talking back to her". I'm just adding things to whatever shes talking about, or responding in slight annoyment.
sovy marcia 2 years ago
over the years my mom forgot the difference between arguing and a conversation, she tells me not to talk back, what do u want me to do, talk forward? how else do you want me to engage in our *your* conversation.
Jules Marten-Feldmann 2 years ago (edited)
This makes me think of how I got in trouble once when I was "asked" to do something and I said no. They didn't like that and they liked it even less when I pointed out that if saying no wasn't an option, they wasn't really asking, they were ordering.
Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
“No” is something I never said. The consequences would have been brutal.
just another teen 2 years ago
same that's how I feel I also wish my mom wouldn't use her childhood to influence mine. She grew up raising her brother(my uncle) and never got to do anything so I am also not allowed to hang out with my friends. my dad is trying to help as much as he can but it doesn't always work
Noname 2 years ago
I'll contest this one-I ask my teen to clean up their dishes, the pots/pans they use to cook and get told "no". I don't care that they don't agree with me, they need to do this. So I I've learned how to shut off the electricity to the house so my teen can't use the wifi, or the TV, or the video game consoles or much on their devices. It's then that they clean up their cooking mess. Some of this advice from this "professional" is bs. Kids and especially teens, need to be held accountable and learn hygiene and respect community living spaces.
Mauricio A.Rivera 2 years ago
OK, as a former 15 year old , this not doesn't sound that out of character. It's time to rebel the hormones are raging.
#3
Harley Lee 2 years ago
Amen. Killing and threatening to kill my pets, loved ones, my animal friends does not motivate me to follow ur rules.
The counselor notes that her clients all gave her permission to anonymously share what they had told her during their sessions with her.
Combined, the three videos got over half a million likes since being posted. The things the clients told Courtney are absolutely heartbreaking, and they had some TikTok users in tears.
#6
over it already 2 years ago
Oof... sounds like how I felt with my mom growing up. I try hard now not to be that parent, but should and will actively check in with each of my kids after school today.
Counselor Courtney told Scary Mommy that there is no such thing “as a perfect parent.”
“We've all been on our phones too much because we've needed to zone out after a long day or were stuck so deep in our own minds that we didn't give our children the attention they needed, or simply bailed out of a tea party because we were too overstimulated. It's okay—learning to take responsibility, showing accountability, and repairing are the ultimate goals,” the expert said.
#7
ForThePeople 2 years ago
But when the kid gets a phone, the parents will freak out about it whenever he/she/they/ are on it.
#9
MellonCollie 2 years ago
6 years old and they don't say goodnight anymore ... I don't know why this one in particular stuck out to me, but I find it very telling about how much the parents care. Poor kid :-(
The trauma counselor mentioned that while it’s perfectly normal to want to know what happened during therapy sessions, “it's equally as important that the relationship between child and counselor remain safe and that means that parents won't always be privy to what is said.”
Good communication is about trust and respecting boundaries. Some of the ways that parents can talk to their kids about their sessions, however, include asking them about their favorite part of therapy that day. If they see that their kids are tense and don’t want to open up, parents ought to point out that they’re not upset about this.
#10
ForThePeople 2 years ago
Teens should get some independence, it should not be either a whooping whenever the kid has an opinion or helicopter parents.
#12
barn owls ️ 2 years ago
i want to hug this kid and tell them it isn’t their fault. i was raised like this and it’s very detrimental to the rest of your life
“You can say, ‘I get it, you feel safe talking to [Counselor Name]. I like that, and I am happy that you have them to talk to. I want you to know that I, too, am working hard and when you are ready, I'd love to be a safe place for you where I can listen’—the best thing to do is respect that emotional boundary that's popping up for them,” she told Scary Mommy.
She added that a way for parents to start an honest conversation with their kids is to ask for their permission. Here’s an example of what a parent might say: “I realize that we need to communicate more and I think that starts with me becoming a better listener. Like you, I am still growing and learning new things each day. Thank you for being patient with me. I know sometimes I haven't listened to you. I know how frustrating that is. So, I'd like to ask you a couple of questions. Are you ok with that?”
Some other things that parents can ask include: “If there was one thing at home that you could change, what would that be?" and "What is one thing in your life that you'd like to have more control over?”
“The more we know about ourselves, our childhood, and what we need now as adults the better we can heal and the more emotionally present we can be for our children. As parents, we mustn't strive for perfection but for growth. Be gentle with yourself as you grow and keep showing up…it truly takes a village,” Courtney said.
A while back, single mom Ariane Sherine told Bored Panda that the difficult years of parenting are just phases, and that there will be plenty of shifts and changes along the way. She highlighted the fact that, just as parents need to take care of their children, they also need to take care of themselves.
“See if you can get some help each week, whether that's grandparents doing a bit of childcare or paying a childminder. Use the extra time to exercise self-care and pamper yourself, whether that means having a massage or just a soak in the bath—do things you wouldn't be able to do while looking after your child,” she noted that if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can try talking to a friend or consider reaching out to a counselor.
#19
ForThePeople 2 years ago
I know I will get downvoted, but is is a fun relaxing game. No need to prioritize it over a kid though.
#20
a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago
this is how it was with my sisters for a lot of my life… it just led them to disliking me and ignoring me even more for a very long time
Previously, psychologist Lee Chambers shared his thoughts with Bored Panda about traumatic experiences and resilience.
"As human beings, we have a desire for certainty and routine that keeps us feeling safe and able to plan what lies ahead in an organized manner. When unpredictable situations or accidents impact us, it can be traumatic, and we will likely feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, and loss," the expert told us.
#22
Tracy Butler 2 years ago
No, they definitely shouldn’t. I have so much respect for my father bc he’s never talked s**t on my alcoholic mother, ever. I called her an idiot once and he said, ‘well I won’t fight with you on that one’…that’s the worst 😝❤️
"It is important however that we embrace the fact that the world can be unpredictable and uncertain, and become more tolerant of this being a reality. Understanding that things are sometimes out of our control helps us to accept that not everything goes to plan, and accept when things happen to us that are negative. This acceptance allows us to embrace the change and difference, and manage our expectations so we can become more resilient to the ups and downs that all our lives lead,” the psychologist said.
#25
2 years ago
My mom lies a lot to. "I miss you!" She says over the phone. Just seen me for the first time in 4 years l:(
"Post-traumatic growth isn't always simple to explain or utilize, but often the adversity we face can create a precedent for what we can overcome, help us to see what we need to be grateful for, and give us an understanding of the support we do have. A big part of opening the door to grow from our struggles is finding acceptance and taking ownership over what you can control and finding healthy ways to express the negative emotion that comes with challenges that test us," psychologist Lee told Bored Panda.
He revealed that he himself had to learn to walk again. Here’s what he said helped him during that difficult time: “Using journaling and talking about how I felt played a significant part in my recovery when I had to learn to walk again, and gave me the space to grow to become mentally stronger as a result. It is also important to reflect on all the hurdles you've overcome, so you can see what skills and lessons you've learned to apply in the future, and adversity often helps us to see what really matters, and gets us closer to knowing our values and purpose."
Here's how some internet users reacted to the extremely emotional videos
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What do you think ?
Cami 2 years ago
Many people say I'm selfish because I don't want children. Now, to have kids and don't give all the love and attention they need, that's selfishness.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I love kids, but I don't want to have any myself. But same, @Cami
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Happy_Pandalover 2 years ago
This is sad and reminds us to listen to children/teens more. Most of the comments suggest that the parents take them for granted and/or think that they are too young to understand.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
So many mention parents being on their phones all the time. One wonders what will become of children who get scant attention because Dad is texting all the time and Mom is playing Angry Birds.
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foxgirl158 2 years ago
I cried in my classroom reading this. I relate to a lot of these. My friends have been saying for a while that stuff I thought was normal, isn’t. This just confirms what they’ve been telling me.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I just reread this with a friend during lunch and I was internally hurting while procrastinating in class.
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CP 2 years ago
The hard part for me as a parent is that I learned from my parents and they weren't the best. I told my seven year old that. I yell too much sometimes and I know it is wrong. I let him know daddy did a wrong thing and that I am trying to unlearn the way I was raised. We are lucky in a sense though. My son gets services because he had a stroke in utero (you can't tell because an infant's brain is pliable and can overcome it). We have a behavioral therapist and I have learned so many positive good ways to parent from the therapist. The therapist even says it is tough to unlearn what your parents taught you about parenting, but the good thing is I realized it and have become a much better parent since. I still have work to do, but everything is getting better.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
It speaks volumes about you that you have not only listened to the therapist, but have used that to grow as a parent. I've seen way too many parents who instantly react to whatever a therapist says as criticism and being attacked. You are doing a phenomenal job!
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
They are people. Treat them as people, not pets. (My mom on children/teens.)
Buren 2 years ago
Why pets deserve less? They are family too, I know you meant well, but please don't indicate that pets deserve less, I have to strongly disagree.
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L Johnson 1 year ago
I once gave advice to a guy at the casino, I know he just didn't want to hear it but I had to. As he was playing slots, his phone rang every 5 minutes, and I heard him say "I'm leaving right now" every single time. I finally asked "who's calling you?". He said his kids. I asked him " how old are they?" And they were pretty young. I told him "I wish I could go back to those days and play with my kids and ask them what's going on in their life". "I am 70 years old and my kids live about 5 hours away. I can drive there without a problem but I can't do it every day. Sometimes I miss them because of that and I can't afford to move closer to them. I just didn't realize when I was younger that we wouldn't see each other as much. ZOOM is not the same as hugging them." He got up and left. A little while later he came back and said he was headed home and that what I said shook him up. I hope so! And I have no kids. I made it up.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
I was in a Barnes and Noble parking lot one day and a woman was standing there with her 2 year old in her arms, the child was screaming and crying while the mom chose to stand there and shoot the breeze with a friend of hers. Later that day, I saw a woman gossiping on her phone even while her 9 year old daughter tried to get her attention. My son, 22 and autistic, asked why the kids were upset. I told him because the parents were ignoring them. Now my son is blunt, so when we passed by the little girl and her mom, he stopped and told the little girl "I'm sorry your mom is ignoring you." The woman looked shocked and annoyed, but it had the desired effect because she got off the phone. She gave me the stink eye throughout the store, but I've never been so proud of my son as I was at that moment.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Its a 2year old. They scream when you won't let them do stuff that will literally kill them. They are in the boundary testing stage
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Whitney Anderson 2 years ago
My parents think every wrong thing I do deserves punishment. They take away the car so I can't get to practice, they take away all electronics and T.V, they have a lock on the pantry and they lock it when they are mad so I can't get food out of there. They also lock the treat box and soda fridge. And so many other things. My mom sometimes doesn't talk to me to weeks at a time (like right now) and I am consistently in my room for days (like I am right now) not talking to them, both us of being rude to each other, and I cry every single night, silent crying to the point where I can barely breath, because I know how much they wish they had never had me. My dad is alright but I know my mom truly hates me. I hate it and I feel so sorry for her that I'm in her life but I hate her as well at the same time, its so confusing. I'm 16.
Lisalisa 1 year ago
Whitney -- withholding food (not sodas or treats, but real food) is abuse categorized as neglect. Tell your.teacher!
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sarah downer 2 years ago
This felt like a knife in my heart. I realize I'm not doing the best for my children. I try to show them I'm proud of them and they're loved, but I think I need to give them more attention than I do. I don't think I'm a bad parent, but I think I can be better and I will be better.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Hey its Better learned late rather than not all right? Tomorrow is another day and you can always improve ❤️
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Himory TheDreamer 2 years ago
"If you don't believe I'm in pain why would you believe me if I said I was being beaten". I said that to my mom not that long ago about what happened in my childhood, I had horrible headaches since around 3yo and I knew back then she didn't believe it. When I was 6 and my grandmother started beating me she said if I told no one would believe and the memory of my mom not believing my headaches confirmed that for me, so I never told any of the horrible stuff that happened to me to anyone and took it all alone. I'm still heavily hurt and incapacitated by a mix of my trauma and my late diagnosed diseases.
Melissa 1 year ago
I'm so sorry that you had to experience such disregard from your mother and especially the trauma from your grandmother 🙏 I wish you all the support you need to heal from all of it 💜
Load More Replies... crow_commits_murder 2 years ago
I related to too many of these. I think I might need a therapist as well
Cheeky chicken 2 years ago
Well, I've saved this page and I'm going to re read periodically. I think I'm a doing ok parent but there's always room for improvements and learning and this list will help me remember how NOT to parent. Each and every one of these broke my heart x
Ana Gabriela Borbolla 2 years ago
My parents treated me like this. Then they complained about how I was tired all the time, and never interacted with anyone. Please, before you have kids, be honest with yourself. Will you be able to give them the love and attention that they deserve?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I wanted children, but had miscarriages instead, plus can’t afford adoption. Having grown up in a bad home environment myself, I definitely learned what NOT to do. Yet, so many people who could and did have children don’t even act like they wanted them. Tell you what, instead of abusing and/or neglecting your children, just bring them to my house. You can ring my doorbell and run if you’re that much of a coward (and it’s pretty much a sure bet you are a coward), but leave your kids on my front steps. Believe me, they’ll be better off with me, someone who actually wants them and will be good to them, than they ever could be with you. (In other words, either don’t have kids in the first place, or at least find someone who would be a much better parent than you are, and have them raise your kids—-so much better for everyone all around than you keeping, abusing/neglecting, and therefore totally f*****g up, your kids. Admit you can’t do it, and find someone who can step up to the plate and be great at it.)
Lauren S 2 years ago
I wish you big hugs! What about fostering kids? Is that an option?
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Magda_lena 2 years ago
Okay but.. isn't that info like confidential? Yeah she did not say their names or anything but still.. if I went to a therapist I wouldn't want her to talk about stuff I said to them with someone else (unless they're also professionals in that area)
setsuriseikou 2 years ago (edited)
On the one hand, I get your point. But on the other... as long as reading what I told my therapist might make people think "oh, I'm not the only one going though that, kinda makes me feel just a little bit better" or "I probably should think about going to therapy too" or "oh, I do that too and apparently it might hurt people, didn't know that, will stop doing that", then please, dear therapist, by all means tell what I told you to as many people as possible. I was hurt and I know how much it hurts and I don't want any more people to get hurt like this.
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Autistic apricot 2 years ago
This is really sad, but I related to lots of this without knowing until I read it
Kylie Mountain 2 years ago
I struggled horrendously with 'executive function' skills all the way through school despite being 'smart.' As an adult looking back at this, I'm pretty sure I'm either on the spectrum or ADD; never actually diagnosed, despite seeing a specialist who told my parents in front of me that I was probably on the spectrum. It's like after they found out I didn't have ADHD, they just gave up and decided it was all intentional. The screaming and punishment did not make me more motivated or more organized. It made me a better sneak and liar, and left me with a permanent fear of my mother.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
Oh my God, I'm so sorry for you! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 even though I love my parents i have to deal with my dad not understanding how my autism works and gets angry at me for crying because I'm 'a teenager and should try harder to regulate my emotions normally bc tantrums are for toddlers', which makes me cry harder. I love him dearly and I wouldn't trade him up for any other dad but I wish he'd try harder to understand sometimes
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
I’m just sick to my stomach, which is how I felt most of my childhood. I don’t have kids. I’ve never had a “mom” instinct. I wish I could hug every one of those kids, take them out somewhere and just listen and give them some freedom and joy. “What would YOU like to go do?” Then go do it to the max. But then I’d have to return every single one of them to all I just read. 😔😔😔
naylene hess 1 year ago
I mean wishing you could hug those kids to make them feel better is definitely a maternal instinct if that makes you feel better. Doesn't have to be your own kids to be mom instinct:)
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Giovanna 2 years ago
These post its are sad and some of them, I am shocked to hear due to their age. However, I believe the younger generation/kids are getting smarter these days. Now, that being said, there are 2 sides to every story. We aren't knowing what is going on with the parents. Kids feel this way all the time, even if it was a perfect household. " The Brady Bunch" household doesn't exsist at all these days. Those times never have existed even back in the gold old days too. The good thing to know, is that these times when these kids feel this way, will pass in due time. Depending on the age, they will go through all different types of emotions. If they don't have these emotions, then that is when we should get worried. I'm not saying that their feelings aren't real or they are invalid, but parents go through a lot too with the different stages of their kids lives. I am a parent myself and I have a 19 year old and a 9.5 year old and I tell you what, they are so different from each other and my younger child's emotions are different than what my older child's emotions was at the same age but we raised them the same.
similarly 2 years ago
One thing that parents have to understand is that teenagers rebel. It's a NECESSARY part of growing up. We want them to be independent ... but then crush them when they deviate in the slightest from what WE want them to do and be. Kids will go through a time when they will rebel against everything their parents stand for. It's a re-evaluation process as they move from being a child under their parents' control to an adult who has to think and act for themselves. It's a natural part of identifying and defining themselves as an individual, and figuring out what their motivations, goals and foundations are. Most of these kids will actually fall back pretty close to their parents. But at the same time, this rebellion is a kind of social evolution that allows each generation to modify behavior and thinking to adapt to changing circumstances. A lot of good leaders were rebels as kids.
DancingPanda 2 years ago
I wasn’t ready to cry over this, I wasn’t ready to feel these on a personal level (I’m 16)
Crunchy Chips and Queso Dip 2 years ago
This break my heart like a hammer and glass im so sorry for them😭😭
Lizzy James 1 year ago
I can’t even cry reading these bc my mom is in the room with me while I’m reading and my heart is broken for all of these kids
UltimateSwiftie 2 years ago
i relate to all of this because when my friends asked me if I was ok when I was emotionally abused, I always lied and said I was fine even though I was hurting horribly because my parents stopped paying for therapy. I didn't know how to confess.
Little Miss Annie 2 years ago
This saddens me more than I can put into words. I could see myself in so many of these. Please, listen to your kids. Sometimes even the kid who seems to be the happiest kid around, always wearing a smile on their lips, sometimes that kid is the most lonely and saddest of them all. I can't have kids, so if you have them, please check what you're doing and make sure they know you love them no matter what.
Linda Lee 2 years ago
Even adults want to feel loved by their parents. My mom left when I was 12. Fast forward 35 years and I brought my elderly mother to live with me. I was hoping to have a relationship with her, get to know her, feel what it's like to have a mother. Turns out she didn't like me.
Chlyri 1 year ago
i second this. at 28 I'm just now getting over my mother's failure to be a mother. now i don't need her, but i still want a relationship. the thing is that she'll never be my mother in anything more than blood. if we have a relationship, it'll be with the same closeness i have with my distant aunts.
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Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago (edited)
Where did this come from? No need for the downvotes. I'm genuinely curious as to where you might've come to this conclusion after reading this post. Was it in the article?
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gingerbaehner 2 years ago
I left the father of my children because all we did was fight. 20 yrs later tgey still blame me. I keep telling them that I felt tge fighting would set a bad example for them. I wanted tgem to see a loving family but they still blame me.. there is no winning
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
I know an upvote won't ease the pain, but have mine 🖤
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Bri Lancaster 2 years ago
It's ridiculous how SOME women like having children because they feel they get a lot of attention when they're pregnant. Really? Such a want or need for attention?, that you bring a new life into this world plus your life changes forever.
naylene hess 1 year ago
I know someone like this and the older kids are treated like janitors. Its b******t and upsets me greatly
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Ely Brettaigne 2 years ago
There is such a lack of context in some of these: taking one thought without any knowledge of how, when, where, frequency etc. is not the ‘truth’. Some of these could be temporary situations. Further, they are clearly interpreted words paraphrased by an adult, particularly those of the very young children. While it’s no doubt true these children are going through something negative, it is not clear at all what real context they are in. Yes, it’s a wake up call to parents, but it’s also inaccurately presented.
Solidhog 2 years ago
As someone working in primary education and dealing with children with problems I am dubious of some of these answers. A lot of the answers use words and phrase sentences that a child of that age would not. Unless she has reinterpreted what was said to her.
Vishy 2 years ago
I love kids but there should be line that they should not cross. Let them make mistakes, we all do even now. But some of them may be really harmful. Listen to the kids and make them understand why the 'NO' is all about.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Yes alot can be solved when they know why you say no.
Load More Replies... DancingPanda 2 years ago
Whoever is downvoting every single comment under this, please stop, people are opening themselves up and trying to help each other and being supportive, this is helpful and I appreciate this community, don’t downvote posts you disagree with, unless it is genuinely harmful, this is all good stuff, a downvote is not a disagreement, it is a ban
Natassja Moore 2 years ago
This whole post broke my heart. I recognized myself in a lot of these... evern at those young ages... some people don't deserve to be parents.
Ramirez rachael 2 years ago
Currently on a positive mental health journey with my 14yo. Its an uphill battle daily but this I was good! I need to listen more and spend more quality time with him before it’s too late
LMr 2 years ago
As a forgotten and unloved child by an entire family, while my other two siblings had relationships with the entire family. It still sucks. I feel these words to my core. I tell my son EVERY SINGLE DAY that he is Loved, Needed, wanted, smart, capable and creative and beautiful. It's hard for me to be a parent b/c I only had one who was always working to provide for us. But I'm honest with my son. I've told him this is my first time being a parent
Michelle E Parker 2 years ago
Absolutely heartbreaking- we NEED to do better- they deserve the best lives
Maya Baggins 2 years ago
This post is heartbreaking, I agree, but she is showing to the world things her patients told her in confidence. I'd be pissed if I saw my therapist using my traumas to get her 15 minutes of fame
Chlyri 1 year ago
it's anonymous, trying to show people what children are saying. it's not about fame.
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Strontium Dog 2 years ago
At least a 3rd of those are b******t. The ages absolutely do not match the way those kids supposedly expressed themselves. 2/3rds however I can believe are near enough true... and that's sad.
Debbie 2 years ago
I doubt kids said it that way, but it was the message that the therpist picked up. I'm not sure if it says anywhere that these are quotes.
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Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
As the mom of an amazing, intelligent, empathetic, creative adult daughter, I wanted to cry reading these notes. Why are you having kids if you don't want to spend time with them, teach them, love them, foster their interests, etc.? I promise that if you do, you'll have a friend for life. Yes, my daughter is still my child, but she's not *a* child...and she is my dear friend. Every single day, I'm incredibly proud of the person she has become. I'm so sorry that some of you have experienced this heartbreak.
Jay Cox 2 years ago
I couldn't bring myself to upvote any of these. Thank you for sharing. Every single one of these just breaks my heart. Not everyone should be a parent. I just pray these kids get away from all that toxicity as soon as they can. Hopefully they find someone that shows them there self worth and don't repeat the cycle. Break the cycle kids. That's what I was always told by my adolescent counselor. Break the cycle!
Carla Phillips 2 years ago
I feel these so much because I know my daughter feels these things, I just don't know how to fix it
ForThePeople 2 years ago (edited)
I am so glad I do not have these kinds of parents. I can only imagine what it must be like to be yelled at for every small thing.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago (edited)
The older I get, the more I appreciate what my Mom and Grandma have done for me. Things haven't always been perfect between us, I made mistakes, they made mistakes, but never in my life have I ever felt neglected, unimportant or unneeded. So let's appreciate all the good, kind and caring people we have in our life and never take them for granted!
Load More Replies... That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
Another big problem is accepting neurodivergency but not understanding how it works and not being compassionate enough. My dad understands I have autism but he doesn't get that I get upset and frustrated bc that's the way it works, I always get told to stop crying bc I'm a teenager now and don't need to throw tantrums. I'm throwing that tantrum bc I was stressed and you shouted at me for expressing my feelings in a normal way, which upset me.
Mary Goldie Smith 1 year ago
It is things like this that help me to realize that communication is key and to treat your children better than you were treated and to put them first. That's just me. Not saying it applies to anybody else.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
I couldn't read all of these. Too many hit too close to home and I'm crying now. I'm 68 years old and sometimes, things stick with you.
CORGI QUEEN 1 year ago
The worst thing is, when my mom just texts me "I love you" Out of nowhere I think something bad happened
Melfina Bynum-Solis 1 year ago
As a child reading this, I can relate. All of the parents on here say: "I wanna help my son! Oh I have children and i don't do this to them!" Why don't you spend your time helping your kids instead of just commenting on the way others treat their kids! ITS SIMPLE!
Idiocy Incarnate (she/her) 1 year ago
You know what the worst part is? I relate to every part of this post
RachyLou92 1 year ago
Wow. Single mum to 4 kids. It's made me realise I need to be more present. Going on. Phone ban other than emergencies. No games or messaging. Play with them more and spend quality time.
flashy 1 year ago
This is just horrible. My mom always wonders why I'm on my computer, but maybe if she paid attention to how I am, she'd know. I'm always on here, just looking away for things to make me feel happy. But no, just no. I can't do that while she's in the room or with me, because she makes it about her. And it's not!
Rachel Smith 1 year ago
Proof that not everyone should have kids. Having a kid doesn't make you a parent, being good to your kids does. Kids are smart, stop treating them like they're dumb.
Spannermonkey 1 year ago
Once again for the ones up the back: Just because you can breed, it doesn't mean you should. Biological functionality is not a reason to create a person.
Barbara Vandewalle 1 year ago
Teachers should this to the parents of their students. Lessons on how to improve communication and letting child know how they feel when they are ignored.
anime girl 1 year ago
When my (adoptive) parents were still together, my family was happy and I didn’t have any mental problems at all. Then they got divorced, and now I have depression, panic attacks, and severe anxiety. My dad thinks that I have this because of the divorce, but it’s actually because when he’s sad, he gets angry when I’m not, and I have developed emotional insecurity due to this. I’m not lying when I say that I’m fine. By a 14 yo
Pamela Blue 1 year ago
I am SO glad that I raised my children in the 80s, when cellphones weren't a thing yet. We actually communicated with each other.
Jackie Nettleton 1 year ago
I’m child free and have always been that way because I know that I would be a terrible parent and I will not subject myself on to a defenceless child. I’m a good uncle and love my niece and nephews but I’m never going to be the sort of person that can raise a healthy child and I would hate myself if I had a child that ever felt like these children do even though I don’t know what I would do to stop it. It’s better for everyone that I’m not a parent
Skittle-chanWan 1 year ago
all of these are so painful. i feel so bad for those kids. i'm not a parent yet, but i will be, and i won't be like those parents. If i ever meet one of those selfish parents, i will say, "You and I are going to have a LITTLE TALK."
Richard Delmonte 1 year ago
Extremely worthwhile article. Need more like this. Amazing how the smart phone is taking parents attention away from children.
Richard Delmonte 1 year ago
Very worthwhile aricle. Need more articles like this. Amazing how many issues deal with 'smart phones ' and computers.
Pet_Person 2 years ago
My parents work over eight hours a day. They have not played with me since I was close to five or six.
Evelyn Haskins 2 years ago
It seems to me that most of the kids here are single children. When I was a kid we wanted to get away from our parents!
Mya Lugar 2 years ago
YOU made the decision to bring them into a family by having unprotected or voluntary sex (and you knew what makes babies) so you asked for responsibility for a baby and chil who is dependent on you for all needs: food, shelter, clothing,, medical, social, emotional etc. If you don't think you can (and want to) do it, use birth control!!
Magpie 2 years ago (edited)
If you're a teenager relating to a bunch of this, & wondering how you'll get out, save your money. If you have a savings account, do your best to add to it & refrain from spending. Let it accrue interest. When you turn 18, look into something called a certificate of deposit, which has a higher yield, but you agree to not dip into it for a year or more. You might need $500-$1000 to get started. Ask about it at your local credit union. Granted, this is mostly for teens in the US, but if you're not, there may be something similar you can do in your country. It won't be a ton of money, but can help you get out when you're ready.
Lea Panthera 2 years ago
My sister found me sobbing as I was reading this post because I related to so many of these. Hope these children get the love they deserve ❤️.
Anna Nilsson 2 years ago
I know a couple that really need to see this - but they won't. We already had this talk with them and they still won't change because in their eyes they're not doing anything wrong. It's so sad and my heart is breaking for the kids.
2picklesinabun 2 years ago
Put down the damn phone!! If you have a loved one in the same room as you, get off the phone. There is nothing more important on this stupid electronic device. Trust me.
Gabby M 2 years ago
When I think of a 7-8 year old, I don't really think of them as full sentient beings. They're "just kids." But kids are a lot more aware and insightful than adults give them credit for. I hope these kids still learn to love and care for themselves, despite how their parents treat them.
Jeremy Oliver 2 years ago
As much a$$ whippings me and my sis received growing up....seeing every argument, being forced to pick sides etc. Our parents did make time for us and still make us feel loved and important. With all of todays distractions the time outs instead of whoopings....without the 1on1 attention being given currently. I'm thankful my parents made us feel important and loved the most. Our upbringing even with different negative aspects was still better overall than what our youths are going through imho.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago (edited)
I know no one asked for mine, but in reality, I’m hurting much more than I let most people believe. In the future, I want someone/something to end me before either/both of my two diagnoses do it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford even just existing at some point in the future, and the side effects of taking levetiracetam and lamotrigine for my epilepsy don’t always seem worth it.
Lisalisa 1 year ago
I don't know your situation, but some medical issues and the situations they create can cause depression. Please talk to your parents, doctor, or therapist. You are not alone.
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Lucky2BAlive 2 years ago
Most children, even adults, need not just to be heard but listened to. Adults who experienced a lot of negativity in their early years spread that outwards. That is their current norm. With some added therapy, not just for their kids, can learn meaningful and more over impactful ways of communicating. Or you could try giving them a safe space to express themselves without fear or regret. But, eh, what do I know. I made a few major mistakes of my own so I can’t judge.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
I want to hug and hold all these kids and teens (if they're okay with it) ... And then arrange for their parents to have a chat with me and go into therapy. Relax. I just want to talk to them ⚾ bat
Okatango 2 years ago
In previous generations, I'm sure many children felt similarly but they also had a greater number of siblings, extended family members and friends, so there was more overall support and parents were more in the background as authority figures. In today's tiny bubbles and total control of every moment of their lives by the parents, any misstep by a parent has amplified repercussions.
Nea 2 years ago
I know i am inviting downvotes here but as an Indian, i dont relate to either these children or their parents. I had a regular childhood and my parents and i love each other but all of these posts didnt speak to me at all.
Dude 2 years ago
Isn't every kid different??? I got "punished" as a kid when I did something I was told not to do or did something I should have known better than to do. I didn't "feel bad" about getting punished. I just remember thinking, "Okay I won't do that again." I learned that every action has consequences. Sometimes unforeseen consequences.
Rat Of The Swamps 1 year ago
there's a line between punishment and abuse and neglecting them
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The Radio Demon 2 years ago
I call bullshot on your comment. You can't dictate what someone else says/thinks. These could very well all be true. Feel a little pity
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Seb Benson 1 year ago
Wow... found a troll... I refuse to believe that anyone is truly that stupid and out of touch.
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Mark and Elmo 2 years ago
She wrote in a way that people can better understand how they feel.
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Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago
So, kids expressing how they feel about themselves and their families is negative? Got it.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
Because no parent has EVER treated their kid like s**t? Come on, Andrew. Get a grip.
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Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
What a disappointing comment. These are children. CHILDREN. A 6/7 year old should not feel neglected or treated like s**t by their parents and the fact that you chose to make such a ridiculous comment on a post like this says a LOT about you.
Load More Replies... Cami 2 years ago
Many people say I'm selfish because I don't want children. Now, to have kids and don't give all the love and attention they need, that's selfishness.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I love kids, but I don't want to have any myself. But same, @Cami
Load More Replies... Happy_Pandalover 2 years ago
This is sad and reminds us to listen to children/teens more. Most of the comments suggest that the parents take them for granted and/or think that they are too young to understand.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
So many mention parents being on their phones all the time. One wonders what will become of children who get scant attention because Dad is texting all the time and Mom is playing Angry Birds.
Load More Replies... foxgirl158 2 years ago
I cried in my classroom reading this. I relate to a lot of these. My friends have been saying for a while that stuff I thought was normal, isn’t. This just confirms what they’ve been telling me.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I just reread this with a friend during lunch and I was internally hurting while procrastinating in class.
Load More Replies... CP 2 years ago
The hard part for me as a parent is that I learned from my parents and they weren't the best. I told my seven year old that. I yell too much sometimes and I know it is wrong. I let him know daddy did a wrong thing and that I am trying to unlearn the way I was raised. We are lucky in a sense though. My son gets services because he had a stroke in utero (you can't tell because an infant's brain is pliable and can overcome it). We have a behavioral therapist and I have learned so many positive good ways to parent from the therapist. The therapist even says it is tough to unlearn what your parents taught you about parenting, but the good thing is I realized it and have become a much better parent since. I still have work to do, but everything is getting better.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
It speaks volumes about you that you have not only listened to the therapist, but have used that to grow as a parent. I've seen way too many parents who instantly react to whatever a therapist says as criticism and being attacked. You are doing a phenomenal job!
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
They are people. Treat them as people, not pets. (My mom on children/teens.)
Buren 2 years ago
Why pets deserve less? They are family too, I know you meant well, but please don't indicate that pets deserve less, I have to strongly disagree.
Load More Replies... L Johnson 1 year ago
I once gave advice to a guy at the casino, I know he just didn't want to hear it but I had to. As he was playing slots, his phone rang every 5 minutes, and I heard him say "I'm leaving right now" every single time. I finally asked "who's calling you?". He said his kids. I asked him " how old are they?" And they were pretty young. I told him "I wish I could go back to those days and play with my kids and ask them what's going on in their life". "I am 70 years old and my kids live about 5 hours away. I can drive there without a problem but I can't do it every day. Sometimes I miss them because of that and I can't afford to move closer to them. I just didn't realize when I was younger that we wouldn't see each other as much. ZOOM is not the same as hugging them." He got up and left. A little while later he came back and said he was headed home and that what I said shook him up. I hope so! And I have no kids. I made it up.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
I was in a Barnes and Noble parking lot one day and a woman was standing there with her 2 year old in her arms, the child was screaming and crying while the mom chose to stand there and shoot the breeze with a friend of hers. Later that day, I saw a woman gossiping on her phone even while her 9 year old daughter tried to get her attention. My son, 22 and autistic, asked why the kids were upset. I told him because the parents were ignoring them. Now my son is blunt, so when we passed by the little girl and her mom, he stopped and told the little girl "I'm sorry your mom is ignoring you." The woman looked shocked and annoyed, but it had the desired effect because she got off the phone. She gave me the stink eye throughout the store, but I've never been so proud of my son as I was at that moment.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Its a 2year old. They scream when you won't let them do stuff that will literally kill them. They are in the boundary testing stage
Load More Replies... Whitney Anderson 2 years ago
My parents think every wrong thing I do deserves punishment. They take away the car so I can't get to practice, they take away all electronics and T.V, they have a lock on the pantry and they lock it when they are mad so I can't get food out of there. They also lock the treat box and soda fridge. And so many other things. My mom sometimes doesn't talk to me to weeks at a time (like right now) and I am consistently in my room for days (like I am right now) not talking to them, both us of being rude to each other, and I cry every single night, silent crying to the point where I can barely breath, because I know how much they wish they had never had me. My dad is alright but I know my mom truly hates me. I hate it and I feel so sorry for her that I'm in her life but I hate her as well at the same time, its so confusing. I'm 16.
Lisalisa 1 year ago
Whitney -- withholding food (not sodas or treats, but real food) is abuse categorized as neglect. Tell your.teacher!
Load More Replies... sarah downer 2 years ago
This felt like a knife in my heart. I realize I'm not doing the best for my children. I try to show them I'm proud of them and they're loved, but I think I need to give them more attention than I do. I don't think I'm a bad parent, but I think I can be better and I will be better.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Hey its Better learned late rather than not all right? Tomorrow is another day and you can always improve ❤️
Load More Replies... Himory TheDreamer 2 years ago
"If you don't believe I'm in pain why would you believe me if I said I was being beaten". I said that to my mom not that long ago about what happened in my childhood, I had horrible headaches since around 3yo and I knew back then she didn't believe it. When I was 6 and my grandmother started beating me she said if I told no one would believe and the memory of my mom not believing my headaches confirmed that for me, so I never told any of the horrible stuff that happened to me to anyone and took it all alone. I'm still heavily hurt and incapacitated by a mix of my trauma and my late diagnosed diseases.
Melissa 1 year ago
I'm so sorry that you had to experience such disregard from your mother and especially the trauma from your grandmother 🙏 I wish you all the support you need to heal from all of it 💜
Load More Replies... crow_commits_murder 2 years ago
I related to too many of these. I think I might need a therapist as well
Cheeky chicken 2 years ago
Well, I've saved this page and I'm going to re read periodically. I think I'm a doing ok parent but there's always room for improvements and learning and this list will help me remember how NOT to parent. Each and every one of these broke my heart x
Ana Gabriela Borbolla 2 years ago
My parents treated me like this. Then they complained about how I was tired all the time, and never interacted with anyone. Please, before you have kids, be honest with yourself. Will you be able to give them the love and attention that they deserve?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I wanted children, but had miscarriages instead, plus can’t afford adoption. Having grown up in a bad home environment myself, I definitely learned what NOT to do. Yet, so many people who could and did have children don’t even act like they wanted them. Tell you what, instead of abusing and/or neglecting your children, just bring them to my house. You can ring my doorbell and run if you’re that much of a coward (and it’s pretty much a sure bet you are a coward), but leave your kids on my front steps. Believe me, they’ll be better off with me, someone who actually wants them and will be good to them, than they ever could be with you. (In other words, either don’t have kids in the first place, or at least find someone who would be a much better parent than you are, and have them raise your kids—-so much better for everyone all around than you keeping, abusing/neglecting, and therefore totally f*****g up, your kids. Admit you can’t do it, and find someone who can step up to the plate and be great at it.)
Lauren S 2 years ago
I wish you big hugs! What about fostering kids? Is that an option?
Load More Replies... Magda_lena 2 years ago
Okay but.. isn't that info like confidential? Yeah she did not say their names or anything but still.. if I went to a therapist I wouldn't want her to talk about stuff I said to them with someone else (unless they're also professionals in that area)
setsuriseikou 2 years ago (edited)
On the one hand, I get your point. But on the other... as long as reading what I told my therapist might make people think "oh, I'm not the only one going though that, kinda makes me feel just a little bit better" or "I probably should think about going to therapy too" or "oh, I do that too and apparently it might hurt people, didn't know that, will stop doing that", then please, dear therapist, by all means tell what I told you to as many people as possible. I was hurt and I know how much it hurts and I don't want any more people to get hurt like this.
Load More Replies... Autistic apricot 2 years ago
This is really sad, but I related to lots of this without knowing until I read it
Kylie Mountain 2 years ago
I struggled horrendously with 'executive function' skills all the way through school despite being 'smart.' As an adult looking back at this, I'm pretty sure I'm either on the spectrum or ADD; never actually diagnosed, despite seeing a specialist who told my parents in front of me that I was probably on the spectrum. It's like after they found out I didn't have ADHD, they just gave up and decided it was all intentional. The screaming and punishment did not make me more motivated or more organized. It made me a better sneak and liar, and left me with a permanent fear of my mother.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
Oh my God, I'm so sorry for you! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 even though I love my parents i have to deal with my dad not understanding how my autism works and gets angry at me for crying because I'm 'a teenager and should try harder to regulate my emotions normally bc tantrums are for toddlers', which makes me cry harder. I love him dearly and I wouldn't trade him up for any other dad but I wish he'd try harder to understand sometimes
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
I’m just sick to my stomach, which is how I felt most of my childhood. I don’t have kids. I’ve never had a “mom” instinct. I wish I could hug every one of those kids, take them out somewhere and just listen and give them some freedom and joy. “What would YOU like to go do?” Then go do it to the max. But then I’d have to return every single one of them to all I just read. 😔😔😔
naylene hess 1 year ago
I mean wishing you could hug those kids to make them feel better is definitely a maternal instinct if that makes you feel better. Doesn't have to be your own kids to be mom instinct:)
Load More Replies... Giovanna 2 years ago
These post its are sad and some of them, I am shocked to hear due to their age. However, I believe the younger generation/kids are getting smarter these days. Now, that being said, there are 2 sides to every story. We aren't knowing what is going on with the parents. Kids feel this way all the time, even if it was a perfect household. " The Brady Bunch" household doesn't exsist at all these days. Those times never have existed even back in the gold old days too. The good thing to know, is that these times when these kids feel this way, will pass in due time. Depending on the age, they will go through all different types of emotions. If they don't have these emotions, then that is when we should get worried. I'm not saying that their feelings aren't real or they are invalid, but parents go through a lot too with the different stages of their kids lives. I am a parent myself and I have a 19 year old and a 9.5 year old and I tell you what, they are so different from each other and my younger child's emotions are different than what my older child's emotions was at the same age but we raised them the same.
similarly 2 years ago
One thing that parents have to understand is that teenagers rebel. It's a NECESSARY part of growing up. We want them to be independent ... but then crush them when they deviate in the slightest from what WE want them to do and be. Kids will go through a time when they will rebel against everything their parents stand for. It's a re-evaluation process as they move from being a child under their parents' control to an adult who has to think and act for themselves. It's a natural part of identifying and defining themselves as an individual, and figuring out what their motivations, goals and foundations are. Most of these kids will actually fall back pretty close to their parents. But at the same time, this rebellion is a kind of social evolution that allows each generation to modify behavior and thinking to adapt to changing circumstances. A lot of good leaders were rebels as kids.
DancingPanda 2 years ago
I wasn’t ready to cry over this, I wasn’t ready to feel these on a personal level (I’m 16)
Crunchy Chips and Queso Dip 2 years ago
This break my heart like a hammer and glass im so sorry for them😭😭
Lizzy James 1 year ago
I can’t even cry reading these bc my mom is in the room with me while I’m reading and my heart is broken for all of these kids
UltimateSwiftie 2 years ago
i relate to all of this because when my friends asked me if I was ok when I was emotionally abused, I always lied and said I was fine even though I was hurting horribly because my parents stopped paying for therapy. I didn't know how to confess.
Little Miss Annie 2 years ago
This saddens me more than I can put into words. I could see myself in so many of these. Please, listen to your kids. Sometimes even the kid who seems to be the happiest kid around, always wearing a smile on their lips, sometimes that kid is the most lonely and saddest of them all. I can't have kids, so if you have them, please check what you're doing and make sure they know you love them no matter what.
Linda Lee 2 years ago
Even adults want to feel loved by their parents. My mom left when I was 12. Fast forward 35 years and I brought my elderly mother to live with me. I was hoping to have a relationship with her, get to know her, feel what it's like to have a mother. Turns out she didn't like me.
Chlyri 1 year ago
i second this. at 28 I'm just now getting over my mother's failure to be a mother. now i don't need her, but i still want a relationship. the thing is that she'll never be my mother in anything more than blood. if we have a relationship, it'll be with the same closeness i have with my distant aunts.
Load More Replies... Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago (edited)
Where did this come from? No need for the downvotes. I'm genuinely curious as to where you might've come to this conclusion after reading this post. Was it in the article?
Load More Replies... gingerbaehner 2 years ago
I left the father of my children because all we did was fight. 20 yrs later tgey still blame me. I keep telling them that I felt tge fighting would set a bad example for them. I wanted tgem to see a loving family but they still blame me.. there is no winning
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
I know an upvote won't ease the pain, but have mine 🖤
Load More Replies... Bri Lancaster 2 years ago
It's ridiculous how SOME women like having children because they feel they get a lot of attention when they're pregnant. Really? Such a want or need for attention?, that you bring a new life into this world plus your life changes forever.
naylene hess 1 year ago
I know someone like this and the older kids are treated like janitors. Its b******t and upsets me greatly
Load More Replies... Ely Brettaigne 2 years ago
There is such a lack of context in some of these: taking one thought without any knowledge of how, when, where, frequency etc. is not the ‘truth’. Some of these could be temporary situations. Further, they are clearly interpreted words paraphrased by an adult, particularly those of the very young children. While it’s no doubt true these children are going through something negative, it is not clear at all what real context they are in. Yes, it’s a wake up call to parents, but it’s also inaccurately presented.
Solidhog 2 years ago
As someone working in primary education and dealing with children with problems I am dubious of some of these answers. A lot of the answers use words and phrase sentences that a child of that age would not. Unless she has reinterpreted what was said to her.
Vishy 2 years ago
I love kids but there should be line that they should not cross. Let them make mistakes, we all do even now. But some of them may be really harmful. Listen to the kids and make them understand why the 'NO' is all about.
naylene hess 1 year ago
Yes alot can be solved when they know why you say no.
Load More Replies... DancingPanda 2 years ago
Whoever is downvoting every single comment under this, please stop, people are opening themselves up and trying to help each other and being supportive, this is helpful and I appreciate this community, don’t downvote posts you disagree with, unless it is genuinely harmful, this is all good stuff, a downvote is not a disagreement, it is a ban
Natassja Moore 2 years ago
This whole post broke my heart. I recognized myself in a lot of these... evern at those young ages... some people don't deserve to be parents.
Ramirez rachael 2 years ago
Currently on a positive mental health journey with my 14yo. Its an uphill battle daily but this I was good! I need to listen more and spend more quality time with him before it’s too late
LMr 2 years ago
As a forgotten and unloved child by an entire family, while my other two siblings had relationships with the entire family. It still sucks. I feel these words to my core. I tell my son EVERY SINGLE DAY that he is Loved, Needed, wanted, smart, capable and creative and beautiful. It's hard for me to be a parent b/c I only had one who was always working to provide for us. But I'm honest with my son. I've told him this is my first time being a parent
Michelle E Parker 2 years ago
Absolutely heartbreaking- we NEED to do better- they deserve the best lives
Maya Baggins 2 years ago
This post is heartbreaking, I agree, but she is showing to the world things her patients told her in confidence. I'd be pissed if I saw my therapist using my traumas to get her 15 minutes of fame
Chlyri 1 year ago
it's anonymous, trying to show people what children are saying. it's not about fame.
Load More Replies... Strontium Dog 2 years ago
At least a 3rd of those are b******t. The ages absolutely do not match the way those kids supposedly expressed themselves. 2/3rds however I can believe are near enough true... and that's sad.
Debbie 2 years ago
I doubt kids said it that way, but it was the message that the therpist picked up. I'm not sure if it says anywhere that these are quotes.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
As the mom of an amazing, intelligent, empathetic, creative adult daughter, I wanted to cry reading these notes. Why are you having kids if you don't want to spend time with them, teach them, love them, foster their interests, etc.? I promise that if you do, you'll have a friend for life. Yes, my daughter is still my child, but she's not *a* child...and she is my dear friend. Every single day, I'm incredibly proud of the person she has become. I'm so sorry that some of you have experienced this heartbreak.
Jay Cox 2 years ago
I couldn't bring myself to upvote any of these. Thank you for sharing. Every single one of these just breaks my heart. Not everyone should be a parent. I just pray these kids get away from all that toxicity as soon as they can. Hopefully they find someone that shows them there self worth and don't repeat the cycle. Break the cycle kids. That's what I was always told by my adolescent counselor. Break the cycle!
Carla Phillips 2 years ago
I feel these so much because I know my daughter feels these things, I just don't know how to fix it
ForThePeople 2 years ago (edited)
I am so glad I do not have these kinds of parents. I can only imagine what it must be like to be yelled at for every small thing.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago (edited)
The older I get, the more I appreciate what my Mom and Grandma have done for me. Things haven't always been perfect between us, I made mistakes, they made mistakes, but never in my life have I ever felt neglected, unimportant or unneeded. So let's appreciate all the good, kind and caring people we have in our life and never take them for granted!
Load More Replies... That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 1 year ago
Another big problem is accepting neurodivergency but not understanding how it works and not being compassionate enough. My dad understands I have autism but he doesn't get that I get upset and frustrated bc that's the way it works, I always get told to stop crying bc I'm a teenager now and don't need to throw tantrums. I'm throwing that tantrum bc I was stressed and you shouted at me for expressing my feelings in a normal way, which upset me.
Mary Goldie Smith 1 year ago
It is things like this that help me to realize that communication is key and to treat your children better than you were treated and to put them first. That's just me. Not saying it applies to anybody else.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
I couldn't read all of these. Too many hit too close to home and I'm crying now. I'm 68 years old and sometimes, things stick with you.
CORGI QUEEN 1 year ago
The worst thing is, when my mom just texts me "I love you" Out of nowhere I think something bad happened
Melfina Bynum-Solis 1 year ago
As a child reading this, I can relate. All of the parents on here say: "I wanna help my son! Oh I have children and i don't do this to them!" Why don't you spend your time helping your kids instead of just commenting on the way others treat their kids! ITS SIMPLE!
Idiocy Incarnate (she/her) 1 year ago
You know what the worst part is? I relate to every part of this post
RachyLou92 1 year ago
Wow. Single mum to 4 kids. It's made me realise I need to be more present. Going on. Phone ban other than emergencies. No games or messaging. Play with them more and spend quality time.
flashy 1 year ago
This is just horrible. My mom always wonders why I'm on my computer, but maybe if she paid attention to how I am, she'd know. I'm always on here, just looking away for things to make me feel happy. But no, just no. I can't do that while she's in the room or with me, because she makes it about her. And it's not!
Rachel Smith 1 year ago
Proof that not everyone should have kids. Having a kid doesn't make you a parent, being good to your kids does. Kids are smart, stop treating them like they're dumb.
Spannermonkey 1 year ago
Once again for the ones up the back: Just because you can breed, it doesn't mean you should. Biological functionality is not a reason to create a person.
Barbara Vandewalle 1 year ago
Teachers should this to the parents of their students. Lessons on how to improve communication and letting child know how they feel when they are ignored.
anime girl 1 year ago
When my (adoptive) parents were still together, my family was happy and I didn’t have any mental problems at all. Then they got divorced, and now I have depression, panic attacks, and severe anxiety. My dad thinks that I have this because of the divorce, but it’s actually because when he’s sad, he gets angry when I’m not, and I have developed emotional insecurity due to this. I’m not lying when I say that I’m fine. By a 14 yo
Pamela Blue 1 year ago
I am SO glad that I raised my children in the 80s, when cellphones weren't a thing yet. We actually communicated with each other.
Jackie Nettleton 1 year ago
I’m child free and have always been that way because I know that I would be a terrible parent and I will not subject myself on to a defenceless child. I’m a good uncle and love my niece and nephews but I’m never going to be the sort of person that can raise a healthy child and I would hate myself if I had a child that ever felt like these children do even though I don’t know what I would do to stop it. It’s better for everyone that I’m not a parent
Skittle-chanWan 1 year ago
all of these are so painful. i feel so bad for those kids. i'm not a parent yet, but i will be, and i won't be like those parents. If i ever meet one of those selfish parents, i will say, "You and I are going to have a LITTLE TALK."
Richard Delmonte 1 year ago
Extremely worthwhile article. Need more like this. Amazing how the smart phone is taking parents attention away from children.
Richard Delmonte 1 year ago
Very worthwhile aricle. Need more articles like this. Amazing how many issues deal with 'smart phones ' and computers.
Pet_Person 2 years ago
My parents work over eight hours a day. They have not played with me since I was close to five or six.
Evelyn Haskins 2 years ago
It seems to me that most of the kids here are single children. When I was a kid we wanted to get away from our parents!
Mya Lugar 2 years ago
YOU made the decision to bring them into a family by having unprotected or voluntary sex (and you knew what makes babies) so you asked for responsibility for a baby and chil who is dependent on you for all needs: food, shelter, clothing,, medical, social, emotional etc. If you don't think you can (and want to) do it, use birth control!!
Magpie 2 years ago (edited)
If you're a teenager relating to a bunch of this, & wondering how you'll get out, save your money. If you have a savings account, do your best to add to it & refrain from spending. Let it accrue interest. When you turn 18, look into something called a certificate of deposit, which has a higher yield, but you agree to not dip into it for a year or more. You might need $500-$1000 to get started. Ask about it at your local credit union. Granted, this is mostly for teens in the US, but if you're not, there may be something similar you can do in your country. It won't be a ton of money, but can help you get out when you're ready.
Lea Panthera 2 years ago
My sister found me sobbing as I was reading this post because I related to so many of these. Hope these children get the love they deserve ❤️.
Anna Nilsson 2 years ago
I know a couple that really need to see this - but they won't. We already had this talk with them and they still won't change because in their eyes they're not doing anything wrong. It's so sad and my heart is breaking for the kids.
2picklesinabun 2 years ago
Put down the damn phone!! If you have a loved one in the same room as you, get off the phone. There is nothing more important on this stupid electronic device. Trust me.
Gabby M 2 years ago
When I think of a 7-8 year old, I don't really think of them as full sentient beings. They're "just kids." But kids are a lot more aware and insightful than adults give them credit for. I hope these kids still learn to love and care for themselves, despite how their parents treat them.
Jeremy Oliver 2 years ago
As much a$$ whippings me and my sis received growing up....seeing every argument, being forced to pick sides etc. Our parents did make time for us and still make us feel loved and important. With all of todays distractions the time outs instead of whoopings....without the 1on1 attention being given currently. I'm thankful my parents made us feel important and loved the most. Our upbringing even with different negative aspects was still better overall than what our youths are going through imho.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago (edited)
I know no one asked for mine, but in reality, I’m hurting much more than I let most people believe. In the future, I want someone/something to end me before either/both of my two diagnoses do it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford even just existing at some point in the future, and the side effects of taking levetiracetam and lamotrigine for my epilepsy don’t always seem worth it.
Lisalisa 1 year ago
I don't know your situation, but some medical issues and the situations they create can cause depression. Please talk to your parents, doctor, or therapist. You are not alone.
Load More Replies... Lucky2BAlive 2 years ago
Most children, even adults, need not just to be heard but listened to. Adults who experienced a lot of negativity in their early years spread that outwards. That is their current norm. With some added therapy, not just for their kids, can learn meaningful and more over impactful ways of communicating. Or you could try giving them a safe space to express themselves without fear or regret. But, eh, what do I know. I made a few major mistakes of my own so I can’t judge.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
I want to hug and hold all these kids and teens (if they're okay with it) ... And then arrange for their parents to have a chat with me and go into therapy. Relax. I just want to talk to them ⚾ bat
Okatango 2 years ago
In previous generations, I'm sure many children felt similarly but they also had a greater number of siblings, extended family members and friends, so there was more overall support and parents were more in the background as authority figures. In today's tiny bubbles and total control of every moment of their lives by the parents, any misstep by a parent has amplified repercussions.
Nea 2 years ago
I know i am inviting downvotes here but as an Indian, i dont relate to either these children or their parents. I had a regular childhood and my parents and i love each other but all of these posts didnt speak to me at all.
Dude 2 years ago
Isn't every kid different??? I got "punished" as a kid when I did something I was told not to do or did something I should have known better than to do. I didn't "feel bad" about getting punished. I just remember thinking, "Okay I won't do that again." I learned that every action has consequences. Sometimes unforeseen consequences.
Rat Of The Swamps 1 year ago
there's a line between punishment and abuse and neglecting them
Load More Replies... The Radio Demon 2 years ago
I call bullshot on your comment. You can't dictate what someone else says/thinks. These could very well all be true. Feel a little pity
Load More Replies... Seb Benson 1 year ago
Wow... found a troll... I refuse to believe that anyone is truly that stupid and out of touch.
Load More Replies... Mark and Elmo 2 years ago
She wrote in a way that people can better understand how they feel.
Load More Replies... Mrs.Pugh 2 years ago
So, kids expressing how they feel about themselves and their families is negative? Got it.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
Because no parent has EVER treated their kid like s**t? Come on, Andrew. Get a grip.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
What a disappointing comment. These are children. CHILDREN. A 6/7 year old should not feel neglected or treated like s**t by their parents and the fact that you chose to make such a ridiculous comment on a post like this says a LOT about you.
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