Well that escalated quickly

OMG lol

Neeeeear, faaaaar, whereeeeever you areeeee 🎶 And the chicken sinks like the Titanic

Savage

As an expat in Albania I can guarantee that she didn't get it 100%. Post services are s****y here. Do your research next time and choose more advanced country to send your flowers to 😂

brilliant

Flowers on women's day. Sigh. Come on, peeps, this is about POWER not decoration. Ask for higher wages, not fcking flowers!

You're. If you have to say "you are" it's "you're". This is so simple and yet intelligent people get it wrong all the time. Drives me crazy.

You're*

Oh this dude is gonna get a visit from 3 or 4 Roman Legions, dude's barbaric lol.

CHAUVINIST D**K!!!

SHOTS FIRED!!!

This is amazing hahahahaha

Ahahah!

shame he must be at least 80 to not know it.

i like this mom.

it really do be like that tho

from what I can see of it, burn it at the stake

What I tell myself everyday lol. Good advice to live by I think

"Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!"

Bar is low with this Momma.

I also wear two different shoes, way too hard to fit into one anymore

I thought this was quite funny.

🙋‍♀️

Ouch.

Maddie woke up and chose violence.

Might be a joke between them, i hope lol.

What does it mean?

Shamy-shamy.

**sizzle**

I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in the right order, like they should be!

Why have you forsaken me?

Poor racoon 🥺

Well Jesus turned water into wine right? So clearly he's okay with the drinking thing!

oooo bad dad

boundaries. Set boundaries.

"Mothership"....I love contact names like that.

How could you joke about this matter?

When I got my first tattoo my mum didn't speak to me for 8 weeks... it was very peaceful

Too much effort for too little return.

^I quack myself up

I'd ask too but just because I need to see the menu before actually going there otherwise I take way too long to decide 😅

The awkward silence between Friday and Saturday is palpable... LOL...!!

Pretty sure, the news would let you know if their plane didn't land.

Proud kid of a great parent who is sometimes an a*s hole... And works overtime at it.

Oddly wholesome, and now I want tacos

I love the passive-aggressiveness

Yeah... I'll get right on it Mom!

Couscous

*Waves wand* ...poof..."You're a dentist."

I tend to say bugger when things go wrong and I think I said it a little too often when, years ago my 5yo niece was staying with me for a week. Thank God my brother has a sense of humour LOL

Legend had it dad's still typing.

I too would like a rich husband....or a rich wife, I'm not picky. I'll clean the house every day and cook every meal if it means I don't have to work anymore!