Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“You’ll Be In Other Pictures”: Wife Gets Defensive After Husband Asks Why He’s Not In Family Photos
You know the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words”? Well, in this case, it might just be worth a thousand passive-aggressive dinner conversations. Family photos are usually a parade of smiles, hugs, and matching outfits. But every now and then, someone gets accidentally left out. And when that happens, it’s less “Aww, how sweet,” and more “Wait, where’s my face?”
A Redditor recently found himself scratching his head after discovering he was conspicuously absent from a family photo collage celebrating his in-laws’ 30th anniversary. And let’s just say his wife’s reaction didn’t exactly make him feel any better.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Photos are supposed to capture memories and freeze time, not erase important faces from history
Image credits: Lisa Fotios / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One man discovers he is the only one missing from a family photo collage, so he confronts his wife about it but is accused of being self-centered
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The wife and her brothers prepared a photo collage for their parents’ 30th anniversary, including wedding photos, but the poster is missing from all of them
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Grow up. You’ll be in other photos in the future”: the wife dismisses the man’s feelings, saying the gift is not about him, but about her family
Image credit: MaximumReflection886
The man feels hurt for being left out of the family photo collage, but he is even more frustrated with his wife’s reaction to his feelings
The OP’s (original poster) in-laws were gifted a sentimental photo collage featuring all the usual suspects – wedding photos, childhood snapshots of their kids, and a recent group photo from the couple’s wedding, all carefully selected by the OP’s wife and her siblings. Seems sweet, right? Well, it should have been.
But, the thing is, the collage also included pictures of the wife’s married brothers with their wives and kids, plus a glam shot of the newly engaged brother and his fiancée. The one thing missing? A single photo of the OP, including from his own wedding!
When the OP realized he was the only one missing from the photos, he brought this slight oversight to his wife’s attention, but she didn’t take it well and accused him of being self-centered. Her immediate response? “It’s not about you. It’s about my family.” Ouch!
But our guy wasn’t ready to let it slide just yet. He calmly pointed out that other spouses made the cut, even the ones without grandkids in tow. So, why not him?
Not having an answer for this question, the wife got annoyed at this point and told the OP, “Grow up. You’ll be in other pictures in the future.” Double ouch.
She also argued that the collage was focused on the in-laws and their legacy, particularly the grandkids. Fair enough, but if that’s the case, why include the engaged couple, who haven’t added any grandkids to the roster yet? And let’s not forget: the family group photo from their wedding somehow managed to leave the OP, aka the groom, out entirely. That’s a pretty big detail to miss, don’t you think?
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, the OP admits he’s not trying to make it “all about him,” but he does feel hurt, especially by his wife’s dismissive tone. And honestly, can you blame him? Feeling excluded in any capacity stings, especially when it comes from your spouse’s side of the family. It’s like showing up to a group dinner, only to realize you weren’t on the reservation.
Sure, they might not have meant to leave you out, but it still stings when everyone’s raising a toast and you’re left holding the breadbasket. The pros say that feeling left out, whether it’s intentional or not, hurts because our brains interpret rejection as physical pain. Plus, when we are excluded in any sense, our self-worth takes a big hit.
But, what stings even worse is having your feelings dismissed by your spouse. It’s like handing someone your heart on a plate, only for them to shove it aside and ask what’s for dessert. A good partner should be your sounding board, not the “mute” button on your emotions.
Experts say that when your partner brushes off your emotions, it sends an unspoken message that your experiences don’t matter, making you feel unheard and, worse, unimportant. Over time, this emotional dismissal can create cracks in the relationship, as you start to bottle up feelings instead of sharing them, which can lead to resentment, a sense of isolation, and even anxiety.
What do you think of this story? Was the husband overreacting, or was his wife being unfairly dismissive? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens sided with the man, saying he is entitled to feel hurt for being left out of the family photo collage
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Tams21 10 months ago
Yeah, something is amiss here. Him not being in the photos is odd enough but her extremely defensive reaction to a perfectly reasonable concern would set alarm bells ringing with me. Maybe her family is upset with op, maybe she's planning a divorce (which would almost appear to be set up if it were) or maybe it's something totally different. Either way, I'd be getting an answer or packing my stuff.
Major Harris 10 months ago
there was an update to this. no racism or homophobia. later that night, they talked and she apologized. when she sent in photos, she did not realize that she sent photos with him not in them. she reached out to siblings to see if the photo could be redone with the spouse in them.
Carrie de Luka 10 months ago (edited)
It is still odd. She didn't choose photos that included her fairly new husband, I don't see how you miss that. No one else spotted it either? She then got snappy when he pointed it out, instead of being surprised. Why wasn't there a 'realisation moment' when he told her and why be so unkind? OP said this about his parent-in-laws "they have even stood up for me a few times when she acted up while we were visiting them". If they've had to defend him, over their daughter, what is she like in private? In his shoes, I'd take the apology at face value for now but I'd be wary.
Load More Replies...
dandylilah 10 months ago (edited)
I be damned if my spouse speaks to me this way....but ya know, to each their own. lol
Bookworm 10 months ago
All these family photos, and he's not in any of them just by random chance? It really stretches belief that they didn't pick at least one or two that OP happened to be in, especially the wedding pictures, unless, as seems to be the case, they were actively trying to exclude him. You have to work at that kind of thing. I'm with OP - this is less about needing to be in a collage, and more about 'this says something really bizarre and hurtful about your family's behavior.'
Wondering Alice 10 months ago
My SIL, who lives with her dad, my FIL, made a large and rather beautiful collage of family pictures for their living room wall. I am not on it, I know she does not like me so I was not surprised. Most weird is a fairly central picture of her and her brother (my husband) which looks a little like they are getting married, and mimics a pose of their parents marriage. The original picture this was taken from had a number of people in between, including me and was in fact our wedding day. I have never mentioned it, but it seriously wierds me out. She did once mention I had no pictures of her on display in our living room - I do not have a single photo on display there. I do have some photos on the landing, my husband chose the ones he wanted, most of his family choices are clearly childhood ones. She also commented I did not display her graduation photo - I was not invited, and neither mine nor my husband's is up, but my nephew's are (she is mid 40's, they are like 18 and 20). It's sad.
Schmebulock 10 months ago
Provide her a picture of divorce papers and then send the real ones - problem solved.
Wang Zhuang 10 months ago
The fact that she was immediately so defensive after he asked makes me think it was indeed intentional. She needs to give a better answer than "grow up".
Tams21 10 months ago
Yeah, something is amiss here. Him not being in the photos is odd enough but her extremely defensive reaction to a perfectly reasonable concern would set alarm bells ringing with me. Maybe her family is upset with op, maybe she's planning a divorce (which would almost appear to be set up if it were) or maybe it's something totally different. Either way, I'd be getting an answer or packing my stuff.
Major Harris 10 months ago
there was an update to this. no racism or homophobia. later that night, they talked and she apologized. when she sent in photos, she did not realize that she sent photos with him not in them. she reached out to siblings to see if the photo could be redone with the spouse in them.
Carrie de Luka 10 months ago (edited)
It is still odd. She didn't choose photos that included her fairly new husband, I don't see how you miss that. No one else spotted it either? She then got snappy when he pointed it out, instead of being surprised. Why wasn't there a 'realisation moment' when he told her and why be so unkind? OP said this about his parent-in-laws "they have even stood up for me a few times when she acted up while we were visiting them". If they've had to defend him, over their daughter, what is she like in private? In his shoes, I'd take the apology at face value for now but I'd be wary.
Load More Replies... dandylilah 10 months ago (edited)
I be damned if my spouse speaks to me this way....but ya know, to each their own. lol
Bookworm 10 months ago
All these family photos, and he's not in any of them just by random chance? It really stretches belief that they didn't pick at least one or two that OP happened to be in, especially the wedding pictures, unless, as seems to be the case, they were actively trying to exclude him. You have to work at that kind of thing. I'm with OP - this is less about needing to be in a collage, and more about 'this says something really bizarre and hurtful about your family's behavior.'
Wondering Alice 10 months ago
My SIL, who lives with her dad, my FIL, made a large and rather beautiful collage of family pictures for their living room wall. I am not on it, I know she does not like me so I was not surprised. Most weird is a fairly central picture of her and her brother (my husband) which looks a little like they are getting married, and mimics a pose of their parents marriage. The original picture this was taken from had a number of people in between, including me and was in fact our wedding day. I have never mentioned it, but it seriously wierds me out. She did once mention I had no pictures of her on display in our living room - I do not have a single photo on display there. I do have some photos on the landing, my husband chose the ones he wanted, most of his family choices are clearly childhood ones. She also commented I did not display her graduation photo - I was not invited, and neither mine nor my husband's is up, but my nephew's are (she is mid 40's, they are like 18 and 20). It's sad.
Schmebulock 10 months ago
Provide her a picture of divorce papers and then send the real ones - problem solved.
Wang Zhuang 10 months ago
The fact that she was immediately so defensive after he asked makes me think it was indeed intentional. She needs to give a better answer than "grow up".
You May Like Woman Excludes Her Daughter-In-Law For Years Then Acts Surprised When She Goes No-Contact Someone Asks People To Share The Harsh Truths About Marriage, And 43 Deliver Man Can’t Handle How Grotesque And Horrifying GF’s Book Is, Calls The Police On Her
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
44
24