We somehow magically socialize women to simultaneously be responsible to prevent sexual assault, responsible for the feelings and needs of men (in particular, but others and general) and to somehow blame themselves when they can't do both. This starts by teaching all little children that their body is not theirs. That no doesn't mean no of I'm bigger or more important or *really* need it... Good for you OP, I wish I'd done a better job of this when my child was small (I managed some)

I was always forced to hug and even allow people to kiss me. It made me feel like I was supposed to let people do it and didn't have a say/was always supposed to be "polite", which led to a lot of bad moments with men later on in life.

I'm so glad that whole "you better give Auntie Bertha a kiss right now!" phase of my life is over. I'm 45 years old and I can remember how many times my Mom MADE me hug people or sit on people's laps, when I didn't want to. And I was told I was being rude if I didn't comply too. For some reason THAT generation doesn't or didn't take no for an answer so I raised my 3 kids [26+19+7] to have complete rights over their bodies. And I don't let anyone near my youngest, who is Autistic. Heck, even his older sister asks BEFORE she hugs him. And when he says no, she respects....

Holy christ. This should never have been an issue. If someone pulled that kind of c**p with my daughters they'd have more to deal with than a no-contact order..

My grandmother was widowed very young and had a succession of gentlemen friends. When I was about 5, she was seeing someone we were told to call "Uncle Bill." Looking back, he was an absolute creep. He didn't even live with my grandmother, but every time we saw him he insisted on hugging and squeezing, and he had slobbery wet lips, and I remember him leaving wet patches on my face when he kissed. It was always a 'joke,' he'd aim for your cheek and "whoops, I missed and got your lips!" My aunt still lived at home, she was much younger than my mother, and she had trouble fighting him off-he had wandering hands, but grandma wouldn't believe us. He died suddenly of a heart attack a couple years after he'd started seeing grandma, and all of us were relieved. My siblings brought their own kids up with the same ideals as this mother-forcing your child to hug or kiss someone against their wishes isn't appropriate, regardless of age.

When my grandma came to visit my family recently, I told her I wasn't comfortable being hugged by her. The day after that, she hugged me without my consent. I ran away from her, I guess she thought I was being playful or whatever, she chased me down and hugged me and I did not feel at all comfortable with her hugging me, and my dad said I was being a brat for not hugging her even thought it made me really uncomfortable to be hugged by her. She didn't listen and it made me feel terrible. I'm so glad that this parent is making sure that their daughter knows that she is allowed to say no. I learned that family had to respect my boundaries from school. We watched a video in health class about consent and it was only then that I realized that family had to respect my consent. I feel so sad that I put up with 13 years of things that made me feel so uncomfortable because my parents didn't tell me I was allowed to say no to my family's affection.

This is awesome. You go Mom!!! ❤❤❤

60 years ago, we went to the doctor who, at the conclusion of the exam, asked for a kiss. I looked at my mother and asked her if I had to. She said no. I told him no. I was 6. Sad that anyone has to go through this. All my best

As someone with autism and sensory issues, i had several years of not wanting to be hugged and had hugs forced upon me by my sister. Not fun. You should never be forced to do such a thing... and that guy is probably on a list somewhere.

I introduced this idea to my parents when my eldest was a baby so they has time to mull it over before it became something they had to deal with. Weirdly my mum thought it was "a bit over the top" but my dad,who's in his mid 70s, completely agreed with it straight away, totally understood it.

You are an amazing mother! My mom is the exact opposite, she makes me hug people despite my discomfort. I'm sure your daughter will grow up to be a good person who has and respects boundaries!

That's weird af. My stepdaughter has an 18 month old. Sometimes I get a hug, sometimes I don't... it doesn't mean anything other than if she wants a hug or not based on what's going on/how she feels... what kind of creep want to force physical contact on anyone, child or not?

What tf did I just read? This is upper POS level and a predator in the making at least... Get out of this hellhole of a family. Fast.

I do make my kids say hello and good-bye because that is just manners. They don't have to touch anyone though and I will jump in people's faces if they try to force the issue. Even when it's just through whining or making them feel guilty.

We are living in a hugging society. I have always been a non-hugger, especially as a child. Because of this I have become a pariah to my husband's family. Hugging makes me feel trapped and smothered and I feel uncomfortable and nervous for sometimes hours later. Recently I lost my mother, I feel like I'm being violated and assaulted constantly everyone who knows feels the need to hug, it's always and uncomfortable and it only helps them, not me. IfI say "no thank you". I'm made to feel like a horrible ice queen and shunned. I'm in my 40s and can't stand up to that kind of pressure, how does a child feel?

I feel comfort reading all the comments here. I felt normal not wanting a hug. I finally felt that there are people like me too who dont want it and it doesnt make me a bad person. I thought something is wrong with me for not wanting a hug and for not wanting to kiss. When i was a kid, I was forced to do those even If I dont want to and I was punished if I dont do it.

It's always interesting to me how something bad can happen to someone, especially as a child, and different people can internalize it in such different ways: "this happened to me, it was horrible and my kids will never have to go through that if I can help it," or "this happened to me, I turned out all right/it's the way things are supposed to be/it's not fair if I can't do it to you too." OP 100% did the right thing

Only about 7% of all sexual assaults on young children are committed by strangers. The other 93% are done by relatives, family friends, and neighbours. A relative who *demands* a hug from a small child is definitely one to avoid like the plague and keep a close eye on.

I wish my parents didn't force me to hug relatives. Most I wanted to hug anyways but some I did not. I'm just not a big touchy feely person and I never have been.

That's a great mom! My parents never forced me to hug anyone I didn't want to, but I was never aware I was *allowed* to say no until about high school. I'm 26 now and I often still feel like it would be rude to say no, especially if it's someone I've always hugged in the past, so I just suck it up and deal. But my mom is very aware of my issues with physical contact now and tells people I don't like to be touched or hugged without warning or consent and she herself now always *asks* if it's ok before she hugs me. Even my own mother knows she's not entitled to hug me just because she's my mother. I'm so glad this little girl's mom stood up for her boundaries and I hope the little girl never wavers, and continues to enforce them whenever she feels like it, rather than suck it up like me just so she doesn't offend anyone. If you *force* a child to hug you instead of accepting their "no", you're the problem.

Add to this the fact that most of the time when kids get molested it's an extended family member who does it... Yeah she's absolute right to tell her family to F off if her daughter doesn't want to hug them.