Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Family Left In Tears 30 Years Later After Realizing They Kicked Out Their Son Because Of A Lie
1.3K

Family Left In Tears 30 Years Later After Realizing They Kicked Out Their Son Because Of A Lie

ADVERTISEMENT

When the people who are supposed to always have your back betray you, your entire life can fall apart. Learning to let go of the anger and hate can be one of the most difficult things you’re asked to do. It can take years of dedicated therapy to finally move on. Sometimes, the past is best left in the past.

Redditor Fancy-Anywhere-4733 went viral after sharing the story of how his family threw him out on the streets with the ‘Two Hot Takes’ podcast community. Decades after this happened, they finally wanted to reconnect and apologize. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author of the post, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

You May Also Like:

It can take years of therapy to reframe the traumatic experiences you had in your childhood

Image credits: djoronimo (not the actual photo)

One man opened up about how his loved ones threw him out when he was just a teenager

He started the story by sharing some context about his family

ADVERTISEMENT

Everything took a dark turn when his stepbrother felt envious and decided to frame him

Image credits: prathanchorruangsak (Not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

After three decades of silence, the man’s family tried to reconnect with him after the truth came out

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Navigator (Not the actual photo)

Image credits: Fancy-Anywhere-4733

The author was unwilling to dredge up the past. He had already moved on with his life

Everything started because the OP’s stepbrother got envious and decided to set him up. The repercussions of that decision echoed through the decades. The author was left on the streets by his own family.

“Well, I lived on the streets for 2 years, doing what I had to in order to survive. No kid should have had to do what I had to do, in order to just live, just saying. There were some really dark days,” he wrote.

ADVERTISEMENT

However, he adapted, survived, and later thrived. He got a stable job, found a loving wife, and has 4 daughters he’s proud of. His life has been a success.

He has moved on from what happened in his youth and doesn’t want to revisit the past. According to the author, therapy has been extremely helpful in unpacking and reframing his life experiences.

Some people feel very aggressive toward their siblings which can lead to profound problems down the line

While sibling rivalry is fairly common, it is very different from sibling aggression. Some siblings might feel resentful toward each other because they’re jealous, their parents treat them differently, or they have an axe to grind due to being mistreated earlier.

Rivalry is mainly all about competing for the parents’ attention and resources. Meanwhile, aggression between siblings has the goal of causing physical or emotional harm.

“Rivalry is about finding unique successes or developing personal qualities that make a person different from their sibling to capture parents’ attention. Too much rivalry can lead to aggressive behavior,” Corinna Jenkins Tucker, Ph.D., C.F.L.E., the director of the Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative, explained to Bored Panda during an earlier interview.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Before that happens, parents can help with perspective-taking skills and using mediation techniques to help settle conflicts,” she said.

“When the behavior has an intent to harm, then a line is crossed. When the aggression becomes severe, one-sided, and part of a pattern, that is abuse. The harmed sibling may feel tormented,” Tucker told Bored Panda.

“Others (e.g., parents, other siblings) and professionals may need to help with recognition if the harmed sibling does not realize what is happening. In the case of abuse, outside professional help is needed, and reconciliation may not be possible,” she said.

Safety should always be your priority. When there is actual aggression or abuse going on, it can be safest for the victim to stop all contact with their sibling.

Even with a good therapist in your corner, it will take a lot of hard work to reframe your past experiences

There is no ‘requirement’ that someone has to ‘forgive and forget’ the people who wronged them. They might do so, but once they’ve moved past their anger and resentment, they’re not obligated to bring the people who hurt them back into their lives.

At the end of the day, whether or not to speak to your estranged family after so many years is a very personal decision. Some people hope to reconnect to make up for lost time, like their family members. Others have a great life and do not want to dredge up past trauma. There are no wrong answers here, only what you feel is right and healthy for you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you can take a while. Ideally, you may want a professional who specializes in the type of life experiences that befell you. Someone who knows what family trauma looks like and how it affects you may be a better fit than someone more generalized.

Therapists do not do the work for you. All the emotional heavy lifting is your responsibility, but the mental health experts help guide you through the entire process. You are supposed to feel challenged to a certain extent, as they reframe your experiences. Your therapist isn’t there to support your every single thought and feeling like a friend would.

However, if you fundamentally feel like your therapist isn’t a good fit for you, there’s no shame in seeking another specialist’s help. It’s very important that you feel a mutual sense of trust and comfort so you can fully open up.

The author shared some more context in the comments of his post

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Andrew Neel (Not the actual photo)

He later posted an important update to his story

Image credits: Fancy-Anywhere-4733

Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

He shared the letter that he received from his stepsister ‘Emily’

ADVERTISEMENT

Then, he posted what he wrote back to her

Here’s what some internet users had to say after they read the entire story

ADVERTISEMENT
Ic_polls

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Share on Facebook
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

Read less »

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
Kirsty Y
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t get why all the ire is focused on Mark? Mark is a douche, no doubt about it, but he was 14 at the time this happened. OP’s OWN DAD tossed him out, and sided with his new family over his flesh and blood. His Dad should have been the adult in all of this and he failed as a father and a human being. That is where the blame really lies in this story

WonderWoman
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mark was a child, but as he aged, he never told the truth about what he did - that is what makes him evil. The father - he is next level evil. To throw your child out, to have your parents not be there for their grandchild - hell is too good for him.

Load More Replies...
Alexandra
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think OP deserves a standing ovation for his approach to this tragedy. He made the best out of a very bad situation and he's absolutely right in leaving those who hurt him, behind. He has his priorities right. Well done!

Bernd Herbert
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

couldn't agree more. I too wouldn't want to reconcile in his situation, but I probably would have chosen more graphic words. btw: First red flag was, when "Dad" said something about the 14-year old being the "man of the house". yeah...no, f**k that s**t.

Load More Replies...
Red_panda
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTH!!! Even IF (I know it says he didn't, I'm being hypothetical here) he did steal his stepsisters underwear, he was a freaking kid. And at that point should have been given support and therapy. Not shown the door. What an ah family.

Jocelynn Schreiner
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also who never accidentally had someone else's clothes mixed in with theirs? Plus the fact that they just took what Mark said as fact with no proof beyond underwear in OP's room. It kind of feels like they just wanted a reason to get rid of OP so they could have their "perfect family". That's what they got and they can all go f**k themselves

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
Kirsty Y
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t get why all the ire is focused on Mark? Mark is a douche, no doubt about it, but he was 14 at the time this happened. OP’s OWN DAD tossed him out, and sided with his new family over his flesh and blood. His Dad should have been the adult in all of this and he failed as a father and a human being. That is where the blame really lies in this story

WonderWoman
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mark was a child, but as he aged, he never told the truth about what he did - that is what makes him evil. The father - he is next level evil. To throw your child out, to have your parents not be there for their grandchild - hell is too good for him.

Load More Replies...
Alexandra
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think OP deserves a standing ovation for his approach to this tragedy. He made the best out of a very bad situation and he's absolutely right in leaving those who hurt him, behind. He has his priorities right. Well done!

Bernd Herbert
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

couldn't agree more. I too wouldn't want to reconcile in his situation, but I probably would have chosen more graphic words. btw: First red flag was, when "Dad" said something about the 14-year old being the "man of the house". yeah...no, f**k that s**t.

Load More Replies...
Red_panda
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTH!!! Even IF (I know it says he didn't, I'm being hypothetical here) he did steal his stepsisters underwear, he was a freaking kid. And at that point should have been given support and therapy. Not shown the door. What an ah family.

Jocelynn Schreiner
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also who never accidentally had someone else's clothes mixed in with theirs? Plus the fact that they just took what Mark said as fact with no proof beyond underwear in OP's room. It kind of feels like they just wanted a reason to get rid of OP so they could have their "perfect family". That's what they got and they can all go f**k themselves

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda