The order of interest is very, very clear here, biologically, psychologically, and morally. 1 Baby and mother on a shared first place, 2. father, 3. everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people). The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile. The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever.

As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA. It was the first baby of our generation. Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born. I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done. It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad.

WHY WAS HIS MUM AND SISTER'S PRIORITY HOLDING A BABY??? THE MOTHER IT UNCONSCIOUS! WERE THEY NOT UPSET ABOUT THAT AT ALL???

After 28 hours of labor, I had an emergency C-section. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist missed the epidural and went too deep, and I was paralyzed from the neck down and struggling to breathe. I got one look at my son after he was pulled from me and on his way to the NICU, and then they sewed me up and stuck me in a nurse's office to let the anesthesia wear off. I listened to my son crying in the NICU for at least two hours before I could move my arms enough to hold him. Everyone saw and held him before me, but that kid didn't stop screaming until he got back to me and got a boob in the face, then he was immediately asleep.

If covid had one good effect, it was making those kind of issues go away. No visitation rules in the hospital are good rules for newborns. 4 days of bliss!

Someone said you robbed your son of having early interaction early on..? He’s 4 days old!! I don’t think whatever happens in the first 5 days of a baby’s life will have much effect on them in the future…

How sad that they are bitter about a husband respecting his wife's wishes.

I'm so effing sick of parents who think that the only reason their kids are around is to give them grandkids. I am child free and likely to stay that way. My mother never seems to miss a moment to comment about how she's never going to be a grandma. That only made me not want to have kids even more. "Robbed you of time with your grandson/nephew" GTFO with that nonsense. The baby is not yours. You do not have a right to that child just because it's a grandchild or a nephew. JFC.

It would have broken my heart to know my inlaws were bonding with my baby before I was able to. It sounds like this poor woman had a really rough time and the last thing she needed was to hear her mother in law tell her stories about the baby's first few days of life. The baby probably got plenty of love and affection from his father and didn't suffer fo it.

I think what you did was a very thoughtful and heartfelt thing for your wife. It's too bad your family is so selfish.

"You should have thought of your son before your wife's feelings". Uh excuse me asshole?! SHE is the one who carried him for at least nine months and gave birth to him. SHE is the one who has number one priority over everyone else. Also they're acting like the newborn baby is actually going to remember everything and be traumatized or something. Lmao. That family is a bunch of clowns and they clearly don't care about the mother or her health.

This is unfortunate because it is clearly going to be a pattern of behavior. They are going to put their feelings above the needs of the wife. good for him for standing his ground. Its a very difficult position to be in.

They should support the father emotionally and take care of the mother struggling after OP instead of starting fights about the baby. Having a baby and a complicated surgery on someone beloved are already stress enough.

I'd feel the same. After a C-section I had been home less than 24 hours and the in laws were hounding us to hold him. So much so the following day they made me meet up with them at a local park so they could do so (this is last year during covid rules). I actually cried with pain and had to get my husband to pick me up in the car as i couldn't walk home. Looking back now, as a first time mum, I think they should have been more understanding and let me recover before demanding their right to see him.

I'm the aunt to my only sibling's children and I couldn't even imagine trying or wanting to wedge myself into this situation to any degree. So entitled. Let mom, dad, and baby be.

A newborn needs to be connected to the mum and dad and nobody else. Baby can be confused from all the different people insisting on holding him. When my babies were born, only my husband and I held the baby for the first days - and that did not mean that they didn't later on get connected to the rest of the family. It is mindblowing how much the maternity wards have experienced much calmer babies and parents during these last 1.5 years of Covid19.

My daughter had her first baby in April 2020, just after a total lockdown because of COVID. I didn't get to see my little granddaughter until she was over 2 months old! I didn't complain (well - I did privately, LOL!) and my daughter said she was devastated that I couldn't be with her and help either. Damned COVID!!!!

It's their child their rules ffs

I don't understand why family suddenly thinks they have the right to push their demands on others. It's not your kid. You didn't have the baby. Be f*****g patient and wait.

As long as you were holding your son while waiting for his mum to be conscious. Absolutely no reason for extended family to be entitled like this.

Ynta. I think it's really nice and good that you let your wife be the first holding your baby. My son was also born with an emerengy c-section. I was awake when they got him out. At some moment I knew he was born, so I just waited to hear him and that the nurses would give him to me. That didn't happen en they asked my mom (who was with me) to come with them. My mom got back crying and my phone with photo's of my son on it. My mom was holding his hands and he was laying on his back with an oxygen cap on his face. I thought he was dead and no one would say something. I met my son a few hours later, all cleaned, dreads coming from everywhere and laying in an incubator. All this time I didn't know what was happening with him. After 3 days I hold my son for the first time. I understand the medical needs my son had that time, but it still bother me that my mom saw and hold my son hands before me. She can be quit proud of that. So I understand you completly

How on earth is *this* a real scenario?? Of course NTA! The mother takes precedence over extended family, to suggest otherwise is just backwards! I wonder why his mother and sister think they're more important than the woman that baby just came out of. I'm experiencing levels of anger that I've never felt before and I don't even like children.

Talk about an inappropriate entitlement syndrome... Non-parents get to do exactly what the parents say they can do. I feel sad for this little family. They are going to be at odds with these 2 for the rest of this baby's childhood. Beware and take care.

Sooo NTA... I'm pregnant right now and would be DEVASTATED if everyone got to see and hold my baby before me. The family doesn't carry the baby for 9 months, I do. The family doesn't take care of me for nine months, my husband does. They can wait.

It's your baby. You owe relatives nothing; it's a privilege, not a right, to be included in that experience.

it's never a good idea to make someone the "bad" or "wrong" one. all is ok. what you want to do is ok--no need to justify it by making someone else wrong. just love yourself, love your baby, love your wife, love your mom, love you sister. it's gonna be ok. <3

The husband shouldn't feel conflicted, guilty, confused or any other feeling whatsoever! IT'S THEIR BABY and they can have whatever wish or wishes they want with their baby. F**k! What the hell do the family think to feel like they have a right to the baby before the mom was able to see to hold the baby!? This world has such an entitlement attitude and thinks they have rights or whatever other shitty reason. Smh!! This dad needs to not worry about about it and let this get to him ( hopefully it's been resolved and drama done.) I would so appreciate if my husband fulfilled my wishes ( especially if I was unconscious) to be able to hold my own baby before anyone else, other than the das of course. The dad did the right thing, to honor his wife's wishes out of love and respect and not carrying about whatever or whoever wanted. You did good daddy!

If Mamma and Baby are being cared for Medically, Then Daddy's in charge.

All I can think of when I read how the grandmother and sister acted is "not the mama, not the mama". They're not the mama so they don't have a right to get all high and mighty, because its NOT! THEIR! CHILD!

Even in non Covid times in our hospital there was a rule that allowed only 1 person with the childbearing women. Also visiting times and amount of visitors was very restricted. I got an emergency c-section by myself. Luckily they only paralised my lower half and U did see the baby soon after they retrived it. They even put a kind of big sock on my upper body where they put the baby inside while sewing me up. I can not image how upset I would have been with this kind of family.

Come next week my daughter will turn 42 having been born 7/9/79. My wife did get to hold her for a brief time after her birth but then the nurse took her, wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me and said "Come on Dad, lets go weigh and measure her and clean her up" My wife said she could have shot us both if she had had a gun. When my first born was born at Hillcrest Baptist Hospital in Waco Tx in 1973 only the father was allowed up stairs in a little room to wait the birth and had a button pinned to his shirt, we we allowed in to hold our wives hands during contractions but ushered out when they checked progress. Not long after my son was born the nurse rolls him out in a baby bed thing, says " you have a son" reaches over and snatches the pin off my shirt and says "now get out of here. I'm not sure that I was even allowed in the room when he was in the room and my mother in law, father in law or I didn't get to hold him until later. My mother was 2000 miles away then

The day after the birth of my daughter, my step MIL came to the hospital just to say hello. FIL, wouldn't come as he felt that as he had various conditions, he didn't want to infect the baby. They went on holiday 2 days later so didn't get to see her until a fortnight old. My parents lived a distance away, so didn't see her until she was almost a week old. Sorry, but your family are out of order.

OP is a proper husband. NTA. You looked out for the feelings of the one woman that should come first in your life. I hope you dad as well as you husband.

He was NOT the asshole THEY WERE. Dickheads.

I wish all partners would be so supportive and protective. I do not think I would like your mother and sister very much. Bravo for doping what you did!

These two twats have their selfish heads so far up their own ass, seriously!!!!!!!!!!!

So personally, this new Daddy deserves "Husband Of The Year", for honoring his wife's wishes/fears. As for the Mil & Sil, shame on them! To be so worried about holding the baby, when the mother is still unconscious & unable to hold/care for her baby & bond as a family with her husband & newborn son..I couldn't even imagine my family behaving this way. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, on SO MANY levels. Good job, Dad!!