"Borrowing" means asking to temporarily use an item belonging to someone else. "Stealing" is taking that item without asking. "Assholism" is stealing, then ruining that item. The cousins are both thieves and assholes, and it's clear where they got it from. OP is definitely NTA, but he needs to have a talk with his wife. If she's siding with her brother over her own daughter, y'all have bigger problems.

NTA. Good for him for standing up for his daughter. They need to leave. I grew up homeless for the majority of my childhood. I had nothing. If I treasured something, my cousins broke it. Example? I received a toy keyboard for my 9th birthday. They came over to see our new rental house. A converted garage where I finally had my own room. I was so excited to show them my room and my Lizard Hercules that I'd caught in the back yard. I left the room to take the littlest cousin to the bathroom and when I returned they had poured juice on my keyboard and squished my pet Lizard with his sunning rock. They killed my pet. They broke my keyboard. When I began crying and told my mom, my uncle backhanded me in the mouth and called me a selfish bitch. Rinse and repeat my whole life. This man hated me. The whole family did. My mom did nothing and I was expected to let it go. Don't do this to your kids. Stand up and speak up.

so like the uncle is expecting his niece to get $15 makeup from Walmart....cuz she doesn't 'need' something that expensive...but fine with his daughters vandalising the expensive makeup???? like cant his daughters get d $15 makeup??????

18 is old enough to know to ask before you borrow. Sure, we all took our sisters stuff without asking at times, but those times either we had a sisterly understanding or they ended in conflict. Doesn’t seem like these girls have that type of relationship so naturally it ends in conflict. This is obvious and the OP and BP both know that.

Huge red flag! I left home because my Stepmom and stepsister got whatever and I had holes in my clothes, no food, last straw was when I came home and stepsister was using my pc that my mum got me for present. I ran away and never returned. I have no relationship with my dad or his side of family. When children grow up and don't keep in touch with you remember your wife is to blame. Caring more about his brothers and his daughters feelings rather her own underage daughter. Just wow. I would lock then out of house, put wife out as well

How come the BIL didn't have a problem with the defects his daughters had by wearing adult makeup. He should have gotten on their butts for taking anything that didn't belong to them. Parents may have been through this and aren't willing to risk the three into their home again

Friends borrow items from each other with their permission. Not random relatives. If a cousin of mine would take my stuff without ever respecting me saying no, and i have no other option to do anything about it, it'd end in a physical fight.

Absolutely NTA! I understand that Zoey's family is being super magnanimous by letting Sammy and his girls move in after they have been kicked out of their home. However, this kindness and magnanimity displayed SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! I totally support Zoey's father and Zoey. Those girls showed utter and complete disrespect for Zoey and her belongings. No one would like it if they had their own room ransacked and their belongings destroyed right?Besides, they didn't even have PROPER MANNERS AND COMMON COURTESY TO ASK ZOEY FOR PERMISSION BEFORE TAKING HER STUFF :( like excuse me that's the most basic thing a decent human being can do. And I would like to debunk the belief that "all teenage girls share stuff and therefore it's alright to take another girl's stuff without her permission". This perspective is extremely flawed. As a teenage girl myself whos the same age as Zoey, I hate it when people take my stuff without my permission. Kudos to Zoey's dad whos an amazing parent!

I always had a lock on my door. My kids had one on their doors. Whatever someone needs to feel control over their environment. Kids get so little control over so little of theirs lives, is it so bad to let them have control over one room of the house?

NTA at all! People understand boundaries only when their properties are involved. Lock is an awesome idea!

NTA. Plenty of doors have locks. It's no big deal. The thieving twins and their dad are only taking it personally because they're losing their access to free stuff.

The cousins must be taught some manners.

If it is a defect to wear high end makeup, then aren't the cousins defective as well?

Wow. As a teen myself I can say that privacy is very valuable to me. I'm very happy that the dad is sticking up for Zoey but I'm also mad at the rest of the family for not knowing what boundaries are. As for the makeup kit, I LOVE makeup, so I completely understand how hard it is to spend $60 on a good kit just to have someone mix everything up (especially since it took her over a month to save up!). I hope this gets resolved, but what makes me mad is that not even the mom can understand the situation her daughter is in. This is not "normal teenage behavior". The fact that Zoey has to hide valuable items now is saying a lot. I'm hoping the uncle and cousins can move out ASAP.

The wives side of the family would not take them in. That in itself would have been a red flag, and I would have asked them why before even making a decision. They knew what they were like and thought "Hell no!" straight away. Kick 'em out and wash your hands of them. Make sure they know that if anything goes missing or gets damaged the police will be involved

NTA. BIL needs to teach his children (idc that they're 18, they are acting like children) that a) you don't go into other people's rooms without their permission, b) you don't take their stuff without their permission, and c) you definitely don't RUIN their stuff without their permission. That's not 'being a teenage girl', that's being an a-hole. And I bet the girls don't do that to each other's stuff.

What the father did was right for his daughter! He's a great dad..in fact, if someone should actually live in another's house, they should respect the rules of that family because they're just visitors in that house either by blood or not..they should give respect!! I don't like the wife' s reaction...she doesn't really understand what true family is..what she lost here is her own daughter and husband and that's her very own family!! She should know the role of being a mother to her daughter, a wife to her husband, a sister to her brother and an aunt to her nieces..ergo, she should prioritize her very own family then helping others...😇😇

First-when I first read it, I missed that the cousins were 18! I thought maybe they were younger!! Is there a plan for the BIL and his adult daughters to get back on their own? There needs to be a goal for this arrangement to end. Rather than being grateful for a place to live, he tells them how to treat their kid!! The lock on daughter's door is none of his business. Seems like one or all of the these adult freeloaders should spend their time working hard to get back on their feet and less time judging how he raises his daughter. This is going to implode their family if this continues. Wife seems more concerned about keeping family peace than about her daughter's well being!

If OP needs to regard the cousins as daughters, shouldn't he start with disciplining them? House arrest for using other ppls stuff without consent. Because stealing is very bad. To be fair, dad could install locks on everyone's door and demand everyone keeps their own room in order (weekly checks) and make a household chore roster for everyone. Because, if you live there as "family" you chip in with work and finances. Do they pay rent? For food? Electricity and gas? Because at 18, the cousins are adult and should help paying bills, just like b-i-l.

"That's just what girls do." As an older sister, let me tell you something. I used to try to "borrow" things from my sister who is three years younger than me. She thumped my skull for my troubles! My parents told me that's what happens when you steal from your sister.

No one should be forced to share and no one has any right to use something of someone else's without asking. Since the 18 yr olds aren't responsible and honest enough to give the 16 yr old her privacy, she had every right to have a lock on her door. BIL, twins, and wife are completely out of line. I'd be extremely upset if one of my parents didn't respect, defend, and protect my right to privacy.

Don't get why people always fail to see the most simple solution for a problem. In this case that would be kicking out the brother in law, his crotch gremlins and if need be the wife too.