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“You’re so mature for your age.”
I remember being told this so many times when I was a teenager. I took it as a compliment from older coworkers who meant that I fit in with the adults, but from my peers, this sentence stung. I knew coming from them it meant, "Lighten up, have some fun.”
While we all aim to be mature, we don’t all fully understand what that means. To a teenager frustrated with the rules and regulations of living with their parents, maturity might mean going to parties, using curse words and beginning to experiment with alcohol. To others, it might mean landing a job with a steady income, so they can fully support themselves and invest in a home. But the thing about maturity is that it does not magically appear with age or children or financial stability.
Recently, Reddit user CrispP_bacon started a conversation asking people to share things that are often perceived as false signs of maturity, and many readers shared their opinions in the replies. We’ve gathered some of the most honest and thought-provoking responses down below, so you can read them and decide if your idea of “maturity” has shifted. Be sure to upvote the replies you agree with, and feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments below. Keep reading to also find interviews we were lucky enough to receive from Vanessa Frazer, LCSW, of Modern Therapy, and Hanan Parvez, the man behind PsychMechanics, to hear his thoughts on the topic. Then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article examining what it’s really like to be an adult, check out this story next.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
As someone who was tormented by parents and bullied at school.
People think that i 'built character ' and got matured due to my sufferings..
All that happened that i lost my childhood and i gained nothing other than PTSD, anxiety, lack of recognising character, being friendless..
No ,you can't become mature just because you had a tough childhood
Jan Rosier 3 years ago
Whenever i hear people stating 'What does not kill you makes you stronger', I reply 'tell that to a person who lost a leg in a car accident'... usually gets them thinking.
Robert B 3 years ago
What doesn’t kill you may just cripple you and make your life an existence of only pain.
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AnxiousEmby 3 years ago
I wish I could upvote this more than once! Got bullied at school and abused by my brother. The amount of times I got told that it would build character and that my suffering would make me stronger is insane. It didn’t make me stronger, it made ma paranoid, distrustful adult who believes they’re never good enough…
Maria Mandjik 3 years ago
It is so weird but a lot of times don’t know any better they are continuing what they learnt as children, forgive them and your soul might heal.
heather7d@yahoo.com 3 years ago
Going through tough times can make us stronger to an extent. Anything above and beyond that is just trauma.
Scipio Africanus 3 years ago
It can make you stronger to an extent but a lot of the time it doesn’t
Marvin HoG 3 years ago
This is my exact story. I don't have character, I have crippling depression and anxiety
To learn more about the idea of maturity, we reached out to Modern Therapist's clinician Vanessa Frazer, LCSW. Modern Therapy is a group mental health practice that offers online talk therapy, coaching, mental health courses, and business services, and Vanessa works there exclusively as a talk therapist. When asked what maturity means to her, she told Bored Panda, “Maturity means being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually developed. This occurs over the course of one’s lifetime and requires a high level of self-awareness,” Vanessa explained. “Mental, emotional and spiritual maturity is an ongoing process that requires an open mind & a willingness to learn. It involves engaging in a state of deep reflection to understand who you are. We need to continually grow and evolve in all areas of our life in order to gain true maturity.”
We also asked Vanessa about things that are often falsely perceived as maturity. “Society often dictates what maturity means, in the sense of accomplishing adult goals,” she said. “Therefore, people often falsely equate completing high school or college, becoming established in a career, getting married, having children and becoming financially stable as signs of maturity. Although these are accomplishments to be celebrated, they do not equal maturity.”
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#2
When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.' - C S Lewis
"True adults are secure in their love for whatever they love - be it action figures , fairy tales , video games .Those who ridicule these people for their interests are actually the childish ones
DrBronxx 3 years ago
That last sentence of the CS Lewis quote is one of my favourites. It's also a strange source of pride that it comes from another Belfast man.
Patrick Linnen 3 years ago
Found that I repeated someone else's comment. Great minds.
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SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
In this day and age, I think majority of us could use a fairy tale ending, even if it's just from a book.
deanna woods 3 years ago
I still watch cartoons and I have lots of toys in my home. There is nothing wrong with liking so called childish things.
Dawnieangel76 3 years ago
I am 46 & am obsessed with Nightmare Before Christmas, and collect everything I can find, gleefully, and show new acquisitions off shamelessly.
Jane Dorothy Warner 3 years ago
I will always remember from my childcare coursework: "There are no adults, only children of varying ages."
Patti Vance 3 years ago
c s lewis was my first love of stories and it continues to this day....and i just turned 65
David Sandiford 3 years ago
"When I was a child I thought as a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things because, wow, I could afford much BETTER childish things!" Terry Pratchett
#3
I need folk to understand working 60+ hours, and being proud isn’t the flex they think it is…
Nea 3 years ago
Thats glorified slavery, lets not celebrate it. Spend time with family, friends, yourselves and be proud of it
Yukon Charlie 3 years ago
If they choose to do extra work, let them be. You might not want to but maybe they enjoy being productive. And who doesn't enjoy extra money? There's no reason to be ashamed that you work hard. Funny this is right below an entry about not judging other's interests
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Jennifer Lee 3 years ago
Overtime should be illegal. And no industry should be exempt from the 8 hour workday. So many bright people have avoided a career in medicine because of the horrible shifts that can go on for three days. It's outrageous.
Rider 3 years ago
60 is a slow week. I've been averaging 70-90. Honestly if I didn't work I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Hoard cats maybe, oh wait I already do that. I had to pick up more hours to afford my overlords lifestyle.
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
But working that many hours don't the cats miss you
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Anna Chase 3 years ago
It’s a flex that shows you are physically and mentally healthy enough to do it. It has nothing to do with maturity.
wifeofweasley 3 years ago
I'm proud of working a lot but not because I'm working a lot. I'm proud of myself for getting out of bed every day to earn money I can spend on things I enjoy. I'm privileged enough to be able to put some money on the side to spend on travelling, eating out, treating myself and treating others.
Richienotsorich 1 year ago
No one on their death bed ever said they wished they'd spent more time at work!
Allen Packard 3 years ago
Or my favorite. Have PTO, still call into meetings and answer phone calls. When I'm off. I'm off.
“I always believed that once we hit a certain age, life falls into place & maturity soon follows. What I’ve realized is that age has nothing to do with maturity,” Vanessa shared. "Your own self-awareness, confidence, sound decision making skills, judgment and ability to examine your own inner self is what leads to maturity and growth.”
“People tend to assume that achieving a level of success or behaving in a certain manner is a sign of maturity. This is not necessarily true,” Vanessa went on to say. “Achieving success is an accomplishment, but does not indicate that someone is mentally or emotionally mature. It’s possible that a CEO of a very successful company is immature in nature, but has figured out a way to climb the proverbial ladder to obtain success."
"This can be confusing because the CEO is financially successful, however emotionally, mentally & spiritually they may be lacking," Vanessa noted. "It’s important to remember that career success does not equate to maturity. Real maturity is defined by your relationship with yourself & others, your capacity and willingness to grow and ability to examine yourself to make positive personal changes.”
#4
I was dating a girl recently, and I showed her my PSP. I have it since 2007, original battery and everything, and I play PSX games from time to time. When I showed it to her she said 'What are you, 12?'"
"I felt very small and childish. But maybe I shouldn't have. Thank fully we are not dating anymore."
Lula Leigh Fae 3 years ago
What a cruel thing to say! He was obviously proud of that and she ridiculed him. I'm a 41 year old woman that still has a Nintendo ds and my switch is my favourite thing. People that ridicule things that others are proud of are scum and cause those people to be embarrassed to enjoy their hobby / interest
Jessany Trotter 3 years ago
I love my Switch! Can travel around with it and not be tethered to a wall and PowerPoint!
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Duane Ringlein 3 years ago
I'm 70 and still love to play video games, I was first introduced when PONG came out, and have enjoyed playing them ever since. My grandson is amazed that his grandpa loves them.
bob van wijk 3 years ago
Pong was awesome. We played it on the tv. Wow! We can play tennis on the tv! This is amazing!
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Michael Largey 3 years ago
Her remark was highly ironic, since she was the one being immature.
Joshua Moon 3 years ago
Proud gamer here. And very proud that I can play video games with my children and enjoy the time together. I'm not good at Minecraft but I'm very proud of my Bender from Futurama statue I made in one of my kids worlds.
1 3 years ago
57 here. My parents wouldn't buy me an Atari in the 80s and later on I was in a long term relationship with someone who thought video games were trash. Now I do what I want, and that includes a LOT of gaming!
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Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Playing videogames is as valid a hobby as any other, and statistically, your typical gamer is an educated person in their 30's.
Jp@nda 3 years ago
Where did that stat come from? Maybe as an average of ages but I would trend more towards forties
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Biliegh Berrie 3 years ago
I wish I still had my psp. I colour. I love crayons and colouring books. I draw and use colour pencils as well.
Emma Pitkin 3 years ago
What a tnuc, better off with out her. Find someone that’ll geek out with you 😊
#5
Having toxic positive outlook towards life.
saying things like “there’s always somebody with a worse problem thans yours”
YES i know that but that doesn’t make my sadness any less painful.
I hate it when people try to compare the depth of issues. If X is drowning in a lake and Y is drowning in an ocean, they’re both still drowning!! stop comparing problems!
GirlFriday 3 years ago
My therapist once told me "Just because someone's ankle is broken doesn't mean yours isn't sprained. You should seek help when you need it." That stuck with me because I don't often ask for help because others may need more help for bigger issues.
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
ooh I've got to keep this in mind- that's a great quote
Load More Replies... wifeofweasley 3 years ago
no my problems are minor but that's okay. I can be sad about something and still know that other people have it way worse because they have. I need a second job to pay rent - sucks but some people can't even find somewhere to live. I have to eat cheap noodles - sucks but other people have nothing to eat. I'm in a sad phase - sucks but other people are depressed and have no accsses to therapy or help.
Diana Pahule 3 years ago
I had to learn not to do this, but it was a personal coping mechanism I've used most of my life. Knowing that things could be so much worse, and will eventually pass like all the other personal crises before them.
Amy Burke 3 years ago
I actually find this reassuring ... there's always one worse off so you should count your blessing
Sonja 3 years ago
It's absolutely ok to do it for yourself. But it's condescending and rude to say to others
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Bubs623 3 years ago
Comparing Illnesses is also very unhelpful. Just because someone else is suffering in pain, even perhaps worse pain, does not magically make my pain any less. Not only do I still hurt, but now I feel guilty and weak from you making that statement.
TurquoiseTzarina 3 years ago
Or I may feel bitter or resentful that my pain is being diminished or trivialized.
Load More Replies... #6
Boobs. Some girls start developing early and a frightening amount of men think it's fine to hit on "young women" aka girls as young as 9 years old as soon as they show even the tiniest hint of breast development because "she's grown now".
No, boobs are not necessarily a sign of maturity, you are just being a creep towards minors.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Ask any woman when she was first catcalled or sexually harassed. You will not like the answers you get. (For me, I was 12 when a truck full of adult men hollered and catcalled at me out the windows. And I was very clearly NOT an adult.)
DrGirlfriend 3 years ago
When I was growing up the adults that took advantage of me said sht like if it's old enough to bleed it's old enough for me ect....I spent so much time ashamed of what they did, because it still feels like I did something wrong
Mrs. EW 3 years ago
Not just boobs, but also maturing early. I haven’t grown an inch since I was 12. At 11, I looked like I was 18. I dont have large breasts, by any means. But catcalling started with me around age 10. When camping as an adolescent with my family, my dad had to inform a grown man commenting on me, that I was only 11 and his daughter. Just because I looked older, did not at all mean I wasn’t still just a young girl.
Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
And if an adult woman is flat-chested, that's not a sign of immaturity - or anything else.
Zwiebel Suppe 3 years ago
That's also a very annoying movie and literature trope: The girl with the biggest boobs is also magically the most sexually experienced, the most flirty, and the one with the most knowledge about sex. Male gaze and stuff.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Amen!. I "matured" early as well. In 6th grade my measurements were 36/28/36. Yeah, having grown men stare at your boobs when you're ELEVEN is creepy AF.
We also asked Vanessa how people can become more mature without feeling pressured to do the things society perceives as mature. "In order to become more mature, the best thing that anyone can do is learn who they are as a human," Vanessa told Bored Panda. "Find your identity and embrace it! Learn to love yourself so you can share your love with others. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and then use your strengths to your advantage. Learn to be independent but also acknowledge that at certain times in life, you will need help. Become your biggest advocate and act assertively to ensure that your needs are met."
"Don’t give in to peer pressure, and be aware that social media is a fake reality that you should not compare yourself to. Engage in healthy relationships with boundaries and effective communication skills. Be open to constructive feedback and view it as an opportunity to grow. Learn to understand your emotional triggers so you can process and express feelings in a healthy manner. It’s important to take accountability for yourself, acknowledge mistakes and learn from them. Most of all, live authentically and be true to yourself and maturity will follow."
If you would like to gain more wisdom from Vanessa or any of the team at Modern Therapy, be sure to visit their website right here.
#7
Not acting childish. Sounds so strange but the most mature people usually have no problem tapping into their childish or silly sides. Immature people overdo it trying to be „cool“.
J 3 years ago
I like to think there’s a difference between childish and childlike. Childlike wonder and humor are well worth not growing out of.
Yukon Charlie 3 years ago
That's a perfect example. I think acting childlike has it's place and time though. A grown person shouldn't be clowning around like me in middle school during a meeting or serious affair.
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Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
"There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes" - Doctor Who
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
I will totally chill with the kids and build marble towers and legos but I’m not gonna go acting like a five year old for laughs infront of my friends.
James016 3 years ago
My wife and I were being really silly a couple of nights ago by getting our Amazon Alexa to make different fart noises. Our son told us off. For a brief moment he was the most mature in the house 😂
Jp@nda 3 years ago
I didn't know she could do that. Guess who has plans tonight??!!!
Load More Replies... wifeofweasley 3 years ago
I loce doing "childish" things - I don't see what's wrong with doing fun stuff as someone who isn't 6 anymore
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
I loathe crowds, and I'm not overly fond of queues, but drop me into an amusement park, and I'm a stress-free kid.
Danish Susanne 3 years ago (edited)
I cannot help loving when grown people dare to act like children at times. Like my stepfather in his fifties jumping around to show a grandchild how a monkey behaved.
#8
Being too old for something you consider "juvenile". Games, cartoons, toys, whatever. Nothing screams immature to me like ignoring something you love or putting someone else down for what they love because you think it's for kids.
DrBronxx 3 years ago
My boss sat me down years ago to tell me that my interest in animation and things like Star Wars, as well as the fun/funny t-shirts I wore (outside of work) did not give our company a good image. At the time, I took it seriously. Changed what I spoke about in public, and what I wore. Since then, I have met and married a fellow nerd, and I came to the realisation that what I wear and what I'm interested in should not be hidden away. Ordered The One Ring last week. Should arrive at the end of this week.
Robert B 3 years ago
He was concerned about what you did outside of work? I don’t know who you worked for but the words “a**l” and “repressed” come to mind.
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
My dad died a few years ago-he'd been getting palliative care and was admitted to hospital for pain relief. He had two walking sticks that he needed to move, so they were sat by his bedside table. His older brother came to visit, and the two of them started having a sword fight with the sticks-dad aged 75, on his deathbed, and his older brother aged 80. The pair of them were giggling like 5 year old boys. And then their olde sister, aged 85, told them off for making a racket and they had to behave otherwise she'd fetch the nurse to shout at them. Dad died a few days later, but just seeing him having fun for a moment was lovely.
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
I love that story, a great memory. I bet your aunty was the boss of those two brothers all their lives, but they all loved each other to bits. I've a daughter and two sons , she's the oldest, I can see them doing that in another 30 plus years, long after we're gone.
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N Miller 3 years ago
On the topic of cartoons, if we skip over the fact that many were actually written for adults originally, the ones which are aimed at children also include what's called Parental Bonuses - the little jokes that will deliberately (or otherwise) sail over the heads of the little ones and give mum and dad some enjoyment and giggles. And why should that be kept solely to parents? Why shouldnt I, as a child free 42 year old, not get a proper giggle fit going at Kristoff's ballad in Frozen 2?
Caroline Edink-Koppelaar 3 years ago
it's like playing with Lego... ppl from all ages and all walks of life do it... never mind that it's classed as a kid's toy... you should see the AFOL community (Adult Fan of Lego)... ppl build Rivendell to humongous scale!!!! I don't see a kid do that...
AMaureen Dance 3 years ago
When I was younger, I had a circle of friends who did stuff together, as friends will do. This one friend, the Queen Bee, started reacting to all our activities with "Oh, I outgrew that." in a bored tone. So, of course, everybody had to outgrow 'that'. Eventually, I said I outgrew the affectation of maturity.
Desiree Cretan 3 years ago
I play videogames, love sci-fi stuff and love anime and cartoons, if that makes juvenile then I will never be old. buahahahaha p.s. I'm 37, female and play fortnite with my 11 year old son.
Hobistapioka 3 years ago
As a kpop fan of BTS i collect album/merch etc, i'm 29. This is the age i CAN afford things.
#9
Girls getting their period. A lot of people think girls "become women" when they start their period. I was 10 when I started mine and still a literal child.
Shagun Srivastava 3 years ago
i heard on another post that a girl that has gotten her period is not a woman, but a menstruating child.
Böb Schüster 3 years ago
There is physical maturity and psychological/emotional maturity. They don't go hand in hand.
Liz Orr 3 years ago
Plastic chemicals now known to cause early puperty, as early as 6. The chemicals mimic natural hormones. So no, not related to physiological age or fertility thanks to plastics in drinking water.
roses are red 3 years ago
Also emotional abuse and trauma...you are force to be older sooner than your years, and your body compiles
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Upstaged75 3 years ago
I was 11. And I though blood and pee came out of the same place! Definitely not mature.
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Lene 3 years ago
I was also 10 when mine started. I remember my mom was super excited about it. I was just a bit "*sigh* so this is what I'm gonna do every month for the next 40-50 years. It will be soooooo annoying*. I just hope that my daughters will be at least 12 when their periods start. 🤞
Lena Flising 1 year ago
"She's ovulating now, she's ready to be a mom!" Er, most definitely not! Number one, her hips are probably not wide enough yet to give birth. Number two, her brain is not mature enough to care for and raise a child yet. The brain isn't fully developed until age 25-30. Number three, she's not old enough to give informed consent yet, she doesn't know all the consequences of having s*x, having a child, even just smiling at an older teenager or a young man.
Elizabeth Butler 3 years ago
Girls are getting their first period MUCH younger than they did 50 years ago due to all the estrogen-mimic chemicals in our environment and food today. This is very unhealthy.
We also reached out to author and blogger Hanan Parvez to hear his thoughts on this topic. Hanan has a MA in Psychology, and explores a wide range of topics on his site PsychMechanics. When asked what maturity means to him, he shared, “Maturity is behaving in an age-appropriate manner. Maturity comes down to being socially smart in the society you find yourself in. That consists of conforming to social norms to some degree,” he explained. “When you behave in ways your society considers mature, you are mature.” He also noted that most societies consider responsibility and wisdom to be mature.
When asked about things that are often mistaken for maturity, Hanan told Bored Panda that there’s not a lot of gray are on the topic. “I don't believe you can falsely see anything as maturity. You're either socially smart, or you're not. Some behaviors are universally seen as mature, and other behaviors are widely seen as immature.”
#10
Moving out of your parents house. Some kids I know moved out so they could just binge drink and smoke weed non-stop without their parents knowing. Other people I know stayed with their parents (seen as a sign of immaturity) because help was needed at home. Moving out doesn't always mean maturity. Sometimes understanding the advantages it may give you long term financially are worth it.
John Ambrose 3 years ago
Financial advantage or not, many people are trying to get away from toxicity and abuse, NOT because they want to smoke and drink all day. Though, coincidentally, those are common coping skills.
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
Many but not all, not even a majority. Some people are just deadbeats.
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Diana Pahule 3 years ago
I moved out a couple times, and moved back. Once I realized I wasn't able to support myself without room mates my mother seemed like a good choice.
Sarah Monk 3 years ago
My son still lives in my house he is 37 but he is now my main carer as I am now disabled and he is a Wonderful human without whom I could not exist in my own home.
Böb Schüster 3 years ago
"because help was needed at home", That is the definition of maturity, taking responsibility for your actions and the welfare of others.
Mrs. EW 3 years ago
Word. My son can stay here as long as he has a job, doing well in whatever school and helping around the home. I don’t at all doubt he would be any other way. Being open with your kids, their needs and parents needs, goes such a long way. As a previously highly restricted child, I’ve learned that’s not how you mature your spawn. Communication, seeing them as individuals and being there for whatever their concerns are is key.
Caroline Edink-Koppelaar 3 years ago
my husband lived with his parents until he was around 27 (by that time he'd earned enough to be able to straight up buy his own house)... he already owned his house 10 years when I met him and married him (I lived with my parents until I married, was still studying and universities don't have campus or dorms where I live, plus commute was just an hour)... nothing wrong with moving out early, nothing wrong with staying with your parents...
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I was put in juvenile detention for running away when I was 13. Yeah - I was tired of being the live in helper taking care of my 3 younger siblings. Mom's the one who chose to have 4 kids, not me.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
I moved out at 17yo because of the years of abuse that I could no longer tolerate. I was terrified, but I managed to survive. Trust me, had I had a 'home', I would've stayed there indefinitely.
#11
Having a spouse and kids.
Nea 3 years ago
Oh my god- here in India, if a man has behaviour issues (just bcos he is an a*s) the common advice is to get him married and if he is marred, force his wife to have kids because that will ‘mature’ him. Have seen many a women’s lives get destroyed because of this.
lauralett50 3 years ago
Nope. My son left his wife & three kids , because he didn't get his way in everything. Mantrum.
Maria Mandjik 3 years ago
Not every person matures just because they got married and had children, mostly the end is divorce.
James016 3 years ago
My wife said that in Turkey, if you are not married with kids then you will be judged by everyone else
Channon Doughty 3 years ago
You can get judged pretty often here on the USA too. I've had multiple male acquaintances lecture me on my duty to procreate. So glad it's off the table now, thanks to my partial hysterectomy a decade ago.
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Thomas Ewing 3 years ago
Having kids should be like getting a driver's license. You must have permission, not desire.
#12
The whole "men don't cry" thing is pretty immature as a concept
Baali Venomax 3 years ago
Dad told me tears were a sign of weakness(whether male or female), so if you cant block them, just dont cry in front of people because they will take advantage of you. Sad thing is, the last part is absolutely true. If the bullies think they've gained a reaction out of you, they do it again and again and again and again, until you lose control though usually by that time, they should run because when I cry, I'm about go berzerk.
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JJ 3 years ago
Saw my now-husband crying for the first time three days after I moved to him. One of the two guinea pigs I took with me had to be put to sleep. He knew the little guy for three days and was as sad as me. This plus the fact that we spent the entire next day visiting multiple shelters to find a new partner for the left piggy is one of the reasons why I married this guy three years later.
Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
Whether you're a man or a woman, sometimes the pain inside you is so intense that it shuts down everything inside you - including the ability to cry.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
I bawled in a cybercafe when I was 15, in front of staff and peers, when news just came in that Eddie Guerrero had passed on. Didn't have the wherewithal to feel embarrassed back then, don't regret it now either. We will all get news that brings sad or happy tears to our eyes so I'd tell my fellow men, let the waterworks flow. Bottling it up won't help you now or later.
John de Vos 3 years ago
Luckily I grew up with a dad who had no problem showing his emotions and tears. I also have brothers who have no problem kissing each other on the cheek while hugging. I do it too. It's very liberating. I really pity the ones who are inhibited....
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I'm a 36-year-old man, and I cry like a baby wiped with onions, My mother always told me "Crying is how you clean the soul" for someone that had a childhood of being called "demon", this meant a lot to me, I have one of the cleanest souls~
Jacob Stone 3 years ago
Like dude, I just got hit with a baseball bat, broke 7 bones, and can't walk because of said bat, so let me cry just a little bit!(note: this was just an example, this never happened)
Kay Christensen 3 years ago
My father was an Iwo Jima Marine & I saw him shed tears more than my mother ever did. Imo he had the perfect balance of toughness & sensitivity. And no one I ever saw had the balls to call him a sissy.
Hanan does not necessarily agree with all of the responses on this list. “There are good reasons why society equates certain behaviors (getting a job, getting married, having kids, etc.) to maturity,” Hanan explained. “Careers, relationships, and having kids come with a lot of responsibility. These things can potentially turn anyone into a significantly better human being. That's ultimately what society wants: You becoming better so you can make others better. You becoming a valuable member of society. I'd go as far as to say that wanting to act maturely is what drives human progress,” Hanan added.
“Developmental and evolutionary theories in psychology tell us that there are different needs that we ought to be meeting at different life stages,” he told Bored Panda. “If you're in your 20s and 30s and ought to be fulfilling the need for intimacy but are doing what children do, your psyche is bound to be distressed.”
#13
Putting others down. Acting like you're above it all.
Susan Green 3 years ago
That doesn’t make you seem mature, but it does make someone look like a huge a$$hole.
Mirabelle Skyrim 3 years ago
The title says “What Is Falsely Seen As A Sign Of Maturity?” Note the word FALSELY
#14
"Ridiculing others' interests is the real childishness."
"Love what you love, life's too short for this sh*t."
In too many fandoms 3 years ago (edited)
Replying so people can see the picture (nice comic!)
Load More Replies... AMaureen Dance 3 years ago
When I was 39, I had a favourite Backstreet Boy. Still do. Kevin is Heaven.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
Honestly, people need to learn the phrase "You do you, not my cuppa tea but it's all good" when you don't share someone's interests. I know you may not share hobbies but no need to put someone down as a result.
kitten levels tokyo 3 years ago
The letters in “ridiculing other’s interests” can be rearranged to spell “Chiseled terrorists uniting “. That pretty much says it all.
#15
Not snickering when someone says 69.
Böb Schüster 3 years ago
How about not getting upset at foul language? Children go Ooooooooo when they hear foul language, adults do not. So, not just 69.
We then asked Hanan how people can manage actually becoming more mature without feeling pressured to do the things that society perceives as mature. “It's hard,” he says. “If you're not going to take much responsibility in life, why be mature? Why bother? Why improve yourself? You can only improve yourself for yourself so much.”
“When you improve yourself for others, your self-improvement can skyrocket. Hang out with people who're wiser and more responsible than you. You'll learn maturity by osmosis. Or simply take up more responsibility,” Hanan added.
“It's interesting how aggressive people can get when deciding what's mature and what's not. Aggression is often a sign of underlying frustration,” he noted. “For instance, they'll do a childish thing and call it mature while bashing others who do another childish thing. Thankfully, you don't get to choose your brand of maturity. Society has already drafted the rules for that.”
If you’d like to hear more from Hanan, be sure to check out his blog PsychMechanics right here.
#16
I have seen many examples of people mistaking arrogance with confidence. Confidence, of course being a sign of maturity. I have been there myself when I was younger. Incredibly arrogant and I thought I was being confident. But confidence is someone who is secure in themselves and who don't feel the need to prove themselves to others all the time. Arrogance is the opposite of that.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Confidence is not knowing that you'll win. Confidence is knowing that you'll be ok if you don't.
Danny Phantom 3 years ago
Confidence is knowing you’re good at something. Arrogance is assuming others think so too.
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KnightOwl 3 years ago
There are also huge cultural differences when it comes to this. For example in the uk being overly confident is seen as a bad thing and very off-putting. British people should aim to be humble and down to earth. This is particularly noticeable with attitudes to celebrities and anyone in the public eye. A lot of American celebrities can be seen as arrogant and 'fake' often labelled as 'trying too hard' to be liked or to be perceived a certain way by British people but adored and seen as genuine and down to earth by American audiences. Americans seem to be a lot more tolerant and seem to even encourage overt confidence whereas brits tend to prefer self depreciating humour and using insults to stop people from getting 'too big for their boots'
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
Real confidence is only worth something, when you have the skills (or the ability to learn them) to back it up. Believing in yourself can be good thing, but when it comes with not a drop of ability to evaluate what it is realistic that you can achieve it is downright dangerous.
D. Pitbull 3 years ago
This is an interesting one - and I totally agree. Understanding that difference is - rather... difficult... for many people? It causes conflicted feelings too... because friends who think they're being complimentary... I know they're trying ... but it's like... I have to explain that just because I'm choosing not to 'sell and advertise' my abilities doesn't mean I lack confidence. I remember applying for something and one of my friends was all like "You gotta BELIEVE in yourself and LET THEM KNOW..." etc. etc... and I was so confused... I was like "If I didn't think I could *do* what is being asked of me.. I wouldn't have applied to do it. It feels unnecessarily arrogant to keep talking about it. Why do I need to talk myself up?" Or if I know my limits - just trust I know what is unreasonable... it's not a sign of 'lack of confidence'. Trust me... when I'm feeling unsure and with a lack of confidence.. that is literally what I say: "Eh.. not sure about this... not confident"
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
If you're doing most of the talking, that's arrogance. If you're willing to allow others to shine, that's confidence.
Patti Vance 3 years ago
yes! if there is one lesson i am grateful for learning in my 20s is that i do not have to validate myself or my interests to anyone.
#17
Conversely, telling someone they're a stick in the mud because they aren't comfortable acting a certain way. I'm a naturally reserved person. I like quiet music, peaceful settings, and spend a lot of time in quiet contemplation. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with me."
"Not feeling required to 'be a certain way' is probably the best all around for this
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I wouldn't smoke pot with my friends (when I was TWELVE) and they made fun of me. So, I got news friends. Simple choice, really.
#18
When the eldest child is made to be a third parent and is good at it, it does not mean they’re mature. They’re still children…children forced to raise their siblings.
Cookies3687 3 years ago
Omg yes. Hearing “you’re so mature for your age” from the women at church and not being able to tell them “thanks it’s because my parents are never around so I gave up my childhood so my siblings could have theirs” 100 upvotes to this one.
ObsidianAce_ 3 years ago
Had to raise myself a lot as my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was busy supporting us by working. Being shuttled to/from their houses was exhausting, and I had this idea that being a kid would make me a burden. News flash: that doesn’t help you mature, just makes you need therapy.
Charley128 3 years ago
Or if you don't get much attention because your the good one and you'll be OK. Your brother is the one we have to pay attention to because trouble follows him. No he looks for it.
Karen Lyon 3 years ago
A teacher I work with had a meeting with parents about a child in her class. I can't remember if the issue was behavior, academics, or poor attendance. I do remember that she mentioned the parents referred to their 17-year-old daughter as "the nanny". GRRRRR. I wanted to hunt that girl down, yank her out of that house and adopt her. As the oldest of five, I had a lot of responsibility, and when I was 17, my parents and I had a minor blowup because they were definitely taking me for granted. Even so, NEVER did my parents refer to me as "the nanny"! Plus, to their credit, they felt horrible (for a long time) that they didn't realize how much I did to help out. I was livid that some other young girl was being treated as the help, not as a part of the family. That's definitely a trigger for me.
Jacob Stone 3 years ago
I agree. I have to haul a**e to get home and make pb+j for my little bro's snack, while ma and pa do their work for the next 15 or so minutes
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
And then being considered a delinquent when they run away because they weren't old enough to be a parent yet.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
As the eldest who had major child-rearing responsibilities of the youngest, I concur.
What do you consider mature? We hope you enjoy reading through this list and that you’ll keep an open mind as you make your way through it. You might realize that some of these actions are often done by very immature people and that you’re not required to check any of these things off your to-do list to be considered mature. Keep upvoting the responses that resonate with you, and then feel free to share your own thoughts on the topic in the comments. What makes a mature panda? I would love to know!
#19
Age
Katelyn Cole 3 years ago
Now my fav quote! “Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.” -Buren
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lauralett50 3 years ago
Caron died at 12. Never got to grow up,much less be a child. Died from AML leukemia. Lost his 6 years long battle this past July.
ben woskje 3 years ago
46 - was wondering when i was going to feel like an adult.... recently i realised that im never going to be an adult, mature or grow up.... and its a good thing... pew pew pew.....
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
No matter how old you are, inside everyone is still about 12. We just learn to act more mature than that little self centred kid who'd rather be reading a book or doing other fun things than work, or caring for loved ones, or getting up on time to be where you need to be to ensure the future.. I'm inclined to think maturity is on a par with altruism, doing what's right and kind rather than what's greedy and selfish. Having some empathy helps.
Diana Pahule 3 years ago (edited)
I've never understood people freaking out when they reach certain "milestones" like turning 30. As they say, it beats the alternative. I love saying things like "30 years ago I was still an adult." Or "It's been decades since I did that." "I quit smoking tobacco over 20 years ago."
Michelle C 3 years ago
Yep. I thought of a certain family member instantly and he is in his 60s. He is one of the most immature people I know, sadly, and I wish I could think differently of him. However, his patterns of behavior behavior towards almost every one of our mutual friends and family members have been anything but mature in all the years I’ve known him!
#20
My dad in a nutshell. 'Stop being happy with your steady job that pays enough so you can afford whatever you want and leaves you with tons of free time, life and work need to be a grind and a fight or you're not doing it right!.' I guess that's my gift to him, so he can have something to be angry about, the only thing that makes him happy.
Maddymoocow 3 years ago
Reminds me of my dad. He was happiest when he was miserable, but ecstatic if he could make everyone else miserable too.
Emma Pitkin 3 years ago
My 19yo is at uni, I’ve told him not to worry about getting a job and to fully experience life before the harsh realities of life hit. He studies hard but also makes time for himself and for socialising, he is happy and I’m happy and proud 🥹
John de Vos 3 years ago
Yes, the old "you can't be happy with what you got if you didn't have to fight for it"....
Bart 3 years ago
Sounds like my dad 15 years ago. Impossible that you can live a full life while working 4 days a week, you need to find a "real" job. Now I'm 38, married, 2 kids and since 7 years a proud homeowner of a fixer-up that took us 2 years to put back in shape. But guess what, still working 4 days a week...
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
Some people shouldn't be dads because they will just bring their kids down. Case in point, Exhibit A...
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Dad's anger sounds like it stems from jealousy. I've always lived by, work smarter, not harder.
#21
Having a career requiring very specialised expertise.
I know doctors and lawyers who are incredibly emotionally immature.
Their kids are usually good evidence of this “hidden” secret.
Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
Having a sense of humor is NOT the same as being immature.
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Keley Babs 3 years ago
I am a physician. Emotional maturity and empathy are NOT taught or rewarded in medical school or residency. I can't stand doctors who have inflated senses of self with NO bedside manner or common sense
#22
Protestant work ethic and its idea that you need to be constantly working, even in your free time, has always been a huge mystery to me, specifically why a lot of people are so stuck up with it
Baali Venomax 3 years ago
because of the proverb: Idle hands are the devil's playground.
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Pamela Blue 3 years ago
"Protestant" work ethic? That's the first time I've ever heard that term. I just call it the Capitalist work ethic. The US Freedom work ethic. The freedom to work yourself to death to fill someone else's bank account, and get nothing for yourself except a basic wage and an early death.
Scipio Africanus 3 years ago
You need to find the healthy balance where you have a good work ethic but still focus on being happy
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
If you enjoy your free time, then you're not wasting time; you're spending time. Time is the currency of life.
bob van wijk 3 years ago
If you do it to help the poor, great, very christian. Smith Wigglesworth worked 60 or 80 hours a week as a plumber and fed a lot of poor families. But if someone only works and then buys a big fat house and car and spends it on whatever, what's christian about that? They'll also talk to you like you're bad, since you don't work as hard and play with your kids. Well you don't give me a cent, so shut up. If you want to work work work to live in luxury, good luck.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Idle hands are the devil's playground, or however that goes. When in reality, it's good for soul to raise a little hell every now and again.
Barbara Vandewalle 3 years ago
I had a boss who was a work-acholic and he expected everyone else in the office to be the same. He could not seem to understand we had lives outside of work.
Error 404 (He/They) 3 years ago
I'm not even considered an adult yet and my parents already put me down for doing something that isn't "homework".
#23
Taking yourself too seriously.
Carsten Petersen 3 years ago
Oh - you were fast compaired to me ;-) But I eventually learned that you'll miss a lot of good laughter if you can't laugh at yourself :-)
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Jesus Ortiz 3 years ago
I recently woke up, and my eyes are still adjusting, and I swear I read "Talking to yourself too seriously".
kitten levels tokyo 3 years ago
As a friend, please consider giving your pals who take themselves too seriously a nuclear wedgie. This is often the key to “loosen them up”.
#24
It’s more responsible to choose not to take on a responsibility that you don’t want.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Just saying NO, period. I have a niece who INFORMED me that she would be staying with us during Oregon Ducks games because we'd just bought a house a few miles from the stadium. Didn't ask politely using her big girl manners (I still would have said no. I'm not all that crazy about her, but mainly my husband & I just don't like guests). Apparently no one ever does that (she's 44 btw). She was shocked and started trying to manipulate me, etc. I just kept repeating NO. She finally pushed it too far and I just said, "B, I understand that you're used to just bulldozing your way over people to get want you want & it usually works for you. Honey, you may be a bulldozer, but I'm a motherf*cking freight train. So instead of just repeating NO, let me specify - Oh, f*cking HELL no". Finally shut her up.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
The ability to say no is quite impossible for some people and, unfortunately, most of them are women.
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
Especially if the reason you don't want it is, that you are not sure you can deliver
Michael Largey 3 years ago
I once had a boss (and he was a very good boss) who came to me and said "I know you won't want to do this, but I'm asking you to do it because I know you'll say yes". Immediately, a little on-the-job training took place.
#25
My family thinks its a travesty that I don’t ever want children, my mom always thought I was just being young and angsty and would change my mind. Now that im in my 30s shes given up on that. I truly don’t understand how most people can even afford to have children anymore and provide them anything else except the bare a** minimum to sustain life. Everything is sooooo much more expensive than it was when I was a kid, and the wages are about the same. Money just doesn’t go as far as it used too, and its getting harder and harder to build up and acquire credit to actually own a house or anything like that.
Sandra Morison 3 years ago
Both of my sons do not want children, I completely respect THEIR decision
Sardonyx_3 3 years ago
And I thank you for that. Thank you for being a good parent. (Also have a nice day :) )
Load More Replies... Maria Mandjik 3 years ago
I am in my 70’s no children, I kept telling people later, finally realized I really didn’t want it. I still think I would have been a lousy parent and unhappy.
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
that and (i know they have always said it) look at the pile of s**t world you would be bringing them into. Damn near every aspect of nature and society has gone fucky.
Lene 3 years ago
I have 3 kids and I still understand why many people do not want any. For the financial aspect I can say this: I have been lucky enough to be able to breastfeed all 3 kids fully for the first 4-6 months and after that introduced them to normal food little by little and when my kids were between 13 and 16 months old I finally stopped breastfeeding them. We were also very lucky to find a lot of clothes 2nd hand or get some for free by friends and family. The same goes for nearly all furnitures and other equipment for babies. The only things I insist we ALWAYS buy from new are shoes (I don't want to ruin my kids' feet because they wear shoes that were shaped by other ppl's feet) and car seats (I need to know 100% that they have never been in any accidents or near-accidents). On top of this both my bf and I have a lot of toys from our childhood. And luckily our kids are not too obsessed with getting new stuff. They can spend a whole afternoon coloring or solving jigsaw puzzles. :)
Lene 3 years ago
My point is that yes, kids are expensive.... but you have plenty of opportunity to make it less expensive if you want. :)
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I have 2 of my own, so this may seem hypocritical, but to be honest there are very few children I've ever met that I actually like. And these days, they're all such whiny, disrespectful, entitled little sh*ts. That's their parents' fault, I realize. But I still don't want to be around them.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Whenever someone would question my childless life, I would turn it back on them and grill them about their sex life, because that's essentially what they were asking of me.
Marvin HoG 3 years ago
Oh man yes. I love my kids dearly but the financial burden is so much worse than when I was a kid. Not to mention how worries I am for the world they will inherit My teen told me he never wants kids and I'm like "Cool, I'll spoil your fur babies. The world's too populated anyway."
Lore Bobadilla 3 years ago
Thinking that’s the way I am and I don’t need to change for anyone. I get not changing to please others, but using it as an excuse for your awful behaviors or being rude is so immature, but is used as a facade for maturity because you are “above” peer pressure and trying to be liked and popular.
Marlene Ricker 3 years ago
Now that I am old, I sincerely regret having children but I felt like I needed to do so at the time. My kids are borderline abusive to me and certainly no comfort to me in my old age. They resent that I can no longer do all the things I used to do. Think long and hard about having kids while you still have the choice.
#26
Trauma. Too many teenagers think because they had a hard childhood that they’re somehow more mature than every other 18 year old. You aren’t. You’re traumatized and was forced to act like an adult for survival and was never given a chance to actually mature normally.
heather7d@yahoo.com 3 years ago
Going through trauma and just trying to survive as a child actually stunts your growth in ways. You’re so busy getting by you miss important developmental steps. I spent my teen years trying to keep my mom safe and taking care of my younger sisters. I didn’t have time to cultivate friendships, develop my own interests, and learn how to date and manage romantic relationships. I’m doing fine now, but I’m still socially awkward and feel like I missed out on a lot.
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
I hope you can feel pride in the things you did for your mother and your sisters
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Alexander Smith 3 years ago
And let's not forget the expectation of the world saying "well you were doing so well as a young adult. Why can't you be that mature now?" Because I'm breaking at the seams and worse trauma has made me revert!
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
It's difficult differentiating between survival skills and maturity. Some of us never quite figure it out.
Michelle C 3 years ago
I definitely missed out on a lot as a kid in spite of my mom and her family giving me the best childhood they possibly could. My dad and his parents were physically and emotionally abusive and enabling. That, as you can imagine, messed me up for many many years after my parents divorced especially! I’ve had a lot of work to do in terms of healing and only now am I figuring out some of what I wish I had known as a kid!
#27
Dating older men in high school and middle school.
In highschool (late 2010s) we used to think that these girls that bragged about having boyfriends in their early 20s-30s were so much more mature than us. I remember being jealous since we had to deal with idiot hs boys instead of older men that seemed like the ideal men for us. In reality those girls were being manipulated and groomed into thinking that they wanted these relationships. It breaks my heart knowing that so many young women will have to heal from the damage done to them by men that they think love them when really they are just attracted to the control and power they have over these girls who don't know better.
I recently looked up one of the girls and it turns out that she had got married to the same man that had groomed her all those years ago. They met when she was 14 and he was 26. It made me feel phsically ill.
Editited for clarity
Lara Verne 3 years ago
Some people never realize this. There was 16 years old girl in my town, who was dating guy in his 30s. Her mother was bragging about it, like it was a great thing, because that guy was apparently really rich and if he married her daughter she would not need to work. Technically, it was legal, because age of consent is 15 here, but it's creepy anyway.
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
If a 20+ year old can't find someone closer in age than a high school student, the high schooler is dating a loser. I never saw a situation where it was different when I was that age.
Caroline Edink-Koppelaar 3 years ago
there's nothing wrong with age-gaps (my husband is 9 years older than I am), only if everyone is comfortable with it... but it's all kinds of wrong when the youngest of the pair is still a minor...
AMaureen Dance 3 years ago
I was watching a talk show, where this teenage girl was dating a man twice her age. Her mother was trying to get her to stop. The girl said it was okay because "He's very immature" I think that makes it worse
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
Certainly worse because she must have spoken the truth about him.
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Scipio Africanus 3 years ago
When someone is in high school I think 2 years should be the maximum age gap
Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
Did you perhaps mean the *minimum* age gap? I sure hope so.
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Kay Christensen 3 years ago (edited)
Any grown man dating jailbait is a criminal. He can't handle a woman of any age. I've had several men describe me as 'terrifying'. I told them all it's because they aren't a real grownup.
Janice - Hazeldine 3 years ago
Not always, some people do mature early so they date at their maturity level. I was at school with a girl who acted like she was 30 when we were all 17. She was more like my Mom than one of my friends. Not surprising she dated a 30 year old and they fit together perfectly.
MiaOokami 3 years ago
Even if she acts mature, her brain is still developing. And any 30 year old who dates anyone under the age of 18 is a HUGE red flag. No harm might have come from it, but it still isn't a good thing.
Load More Replies... Diana Pahule 3 years ago
Strangely I've been super attracted to one guy that was older than me, and that was because he gave the best back massage of my life, still 40 years later. I tend towards guys 2 years younger than me.
#28
My family thinks I am skirting responsibility by not having kids. I know a lot of people who had them thinking they were obligated to, and neglect them."
"I remember telling somebody I know from college I don't want them ever, and she said, 'My boyfriend's not afraid to take responsibility and have kids,' as if I wasn't a real man for not having them lol."
"For some, it's a sign of virility and maturity.
Luke Branwen 3 years ago
Kids deserve to be actually wanted, not only seen as some mandatory life milestone.
Maria Mandjik 3 years ago
Yes like Eddie Murphy and Nick Cannon, this world doesn’t need men that keep spreading their seed all over the place.
Nicki 3 years ago
It was weird for me...I didn't want kids, until I did. I got married pretty young (20) and I wanted to finish college and have fun with my husband. Then it just hit me about eight years later. Both kids were super planned (think ovulation kits) three years apart. My kids don't want kids and I'm okay with that, and if they change their minds, I am okay with that too. I just want them to be happy, well adjusted adults 😊
Jack Holt 3 years ago
The world is overpopulated and the population that already exists is ruining it. If you don't have a strong desire to have children, don't. That's responsibility. No offence to the people who do have those desires, that's human nature. But those who don't shouldn't be expected to, just to save face.
Caroline Edink-Koppelaar 3 years ago
for the love of all that's holy & unholy in this world... DON'T get kids when you can barely keep your own life together.. and please please don't use kids as a way to try to fix your relationship...
Thomas Ewing 3 years ago
It's very sensible to be celibate and not desire kids. Young people are great; I don't need to raise any.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
My Catholic mother felt obligated to have children and considered herself a social failure for only having 4. Her obligation resulted in child abuse and life-long trauma.
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
If someone does not want kids, perhaps they had better not have any. It might be a sign, that they are mature enough to know that they would not be good parents.
#29
Not partying. You can still be an adult and have fun.
Caroline Kimber 3 years ago
I'm in my 30s and I like to have fun....as long as it doesn't interfere with my bed time.
Caroline Edink-Koppelaar 3 years ago
some ppl like to party, others don't... simple as that... what does get immature if you're already in your thirties with a baby and you still live (and think) you're 20, and don't understand that you've got more important things to deal with: aka a baby that's completely dependent on you making the right decisions...
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
I've never been into the bar and party scene. Didn't make me mature or immature, just wasn't something I was into. Ever.
#30
Silence. There is a good difference between listening to process and listening mindlessly.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
And thank goodness for protection and comfort afforded by the second type!
Rylosalex 3 years ago
Not thinking of anything, just enjoying the moment......untll your dad blasts his classical music really loud.....
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Tangent: is this some guy doing an impersonation of Donald Trump Jr. in that infamous flannel shirt/stump photo?
#31
Not apologizing to younger people...
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago (edited)
In Sourcery, Terry Pratchett said something to the effect of "some adults believe children aren't really people, and therefore don't deserve good manners."
Michelle C 3 years ago
I work in education and I will always apologize if I’m wrong, even to my students!
Karen Lyon 3 years ago
Right? I teach 4- and 5-year-olds. I have very clear boundaries, and they know I am the grownup, but if I mess up, I always tell them I'm sorry for it.
Load More Replies... #32
Giving up things you enjoy because they're childish. Imo giving up or belittling adults for enjoying what they like IS childish!
#33
As a man, Holding your tears or asking for comfort & company when you feel burdened or sad. It shouldn't be like that, grownup or not when you need consolation and time-out you should get it.
squid eric Haney 4 months ago
Exactly, we should be helping and supporting one another, not just "proving ourselves."
#34
How much you travel. Traveling a lot doesn’t magically make you a well-rounded person with plenty of seasoned perspective. Plenty of trust fund babies and people withdrawing from the First National Bank of Mom and Dad that stay in luxurious hotels and treat locals like zoo animals to be hand fed and photographed. You aren’t better than people who don’t have the time, money, or health to hop on a plane every few months and take pictures of landmarks for Instagram.
#35
>"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” ― C.S. Lewis
#36
Talking about sex, drinking.
I had a coworker who was two years older than me constantly call me a kid because, unlike her, I don't talk about how much I need a good f*****g from my boyfriend while at work.
Bish, we are at the exact same point in our lives, these two years of difference between you and me would've mattered if we were in highschool, but we're at work and I honestly don't care to hear how unsatisfied you were with that f*****g while I'm peeling freaking watermelons.
Lara Verne 3 years ago (edited)
Ooh, When I started working (my first job), I had two coworkers in their 40s, man and woman, who were constantly talking about sex. Other topic didnot exist. Like first thing what they told to everyone who had misfortune to be in hearing distance was what they did with their spouses in bed. They were mocking me and other coworkers, calling us children, for not describing our sexual lives like they did. Very mature, these two.
Michelle C 3 years ago
I’ll never forget one of my coworkers doing that in great detail at a previous job some years ago and I’m so glad I only overheard the conversation between said coworker and another coworker who was clearly uncomfortable with the situation like I was! Once the coworker who stopped talking about her sexual relationship with her then-partner left the room, The other coworker and I expressed relief that we did not have to hear anymore of that talk!
Load More Replies... #37
working yourself to death for a company that couldn't give less of a s**t about you. okay Tony, glad you put in 6 12s this week. I read my favorite book and ate delicious homecooked meals
#38
Buying a home or having children would be my top two. Neither require maturity just going through a process.
#39
"afraid" is a terrible word for it that has been said to me as well.
"I'm not afraid of having kids, I would just prefer to do literally anything, including nothing at all than have kids."
"I would rather sleep all day every day."
squid eric Haney 4 months ago
We are overpopulated and we still expect everyone to have kids for some reason.
#40
Career position. Met a lot of people in high positions that were just children outside of work
#41
Taking s**t to “keep the peace,” to seem “respectful,” or to be “the bigger person.”
squid eric Haney 4 months ago
YES! And apologizing when you shouldn't have to be because it makes you look "cooperative."
#42
Cynicism.
It's just a defeated, uninspiring way to look at the world.
I get where it's coming from, but it will get you nowhere in life.
#43
Constant settling. Yes. It's true that you can't always get what you want, but so many people just accept sh*tty jobs, partners, homes, etc because "Grow up. Step into the real world. This is just how it is." The expectation of constant instant gratification is immature, but it's perfectly fine to pursue the things you want and have a firm, unchanging standard for what you will and won't accept. On the flip side, the concept of "going for the gold" is also false maturity. Maturity is realizing that it's ok to just want the bronze. The understanding of settling for less vs. having your own standard for achievement is true maturity.
#44
Wearing makeup. Girls, you’re in 6th grade. You’ve got your whole life to rock the black winged eyeliner. Now is not the time.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Back when I was in 7th grade, I got judged by my friends for not wearing makeup and skimpy outfits, eg veryyy short crop tops and shorts (not saying those are bad, just for a 7th grader???), also for wearing clothes that did not expose all of my skin eg hoodies. They used to call my dressing style “mum style”. It makes me comfy, idc 🤷♀️
Michelle C 3 years ago
That’s maturity. Go, girl (or lady, as you may be)! I was the same way and I don’t regret it.
Load More Replies... #45
Being stiff and ”mature“. Basically putting yourself above others due to their position in comparison to yourself. That just shows insecurity if anything
#46
Getting up early
#47
Being above humour and putting others down for joking around. When you are a true adult - you can also know how to be a child
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago
"As we journey through life, shedding baggage along the way, we must keep an iron grip, until the very end, on the capacity for silliness. It preserves the soul from desiccation." - Humphrey Lyttleton
#48
a beard. mine started to be full with 14 but i was still a fkn kid tho.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Yup. I worked with slightly older kids in a previous job and some of them had facial hair by the time they were 12 and 13 years old. OK; genetics are genetics and they’re not a reflection of maturity!
unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago
Lol I'm 36 and can barely grow a goatee and cannot grow sideburns, I save alot of money on razors though..
#49
Independence. It's a low bar and just means you can survive if left alone. Interdependence is key for societies to work. It means other people can rely on you and more importantly you know when you need to rely on other people. Edit: People, "living independently" and "independence" in the growth stages of dependence → independence → interdependence are two different things. At the same time interdependence and codependence are different as well.
squid eric Haney 4 months ago
Independence matters, and it is a great value to have, but it does contain some paradoxes. Many entrepreneurs lose everything they had and become dependent on services, support from friends and family, etc.
#51
The ability to drink alcohol is falsely seen as a sign of maturity.
#54
Having a high position in a hierarchical company
#56
Sex
Karen Lyon 3 years ago
I dated a guy who first had sex when he was something like 11 or 12, with a 13-year-old girl. So, um, yeah.
#57
Saying the "right" things. It doesn't mean they're speaking the truth, really believe in it, or practice what they preach.
#58
Saying complex words
ForThePeople 3 years ago (edited)
Indeed, an individual can be mature solely by uttering more complicated phrases.
#59
Using "adult" language
What do you think ?
Sardonyx_3 3 years ago
I was twelve when my Grandfather asked me if I had a Boyfriend. wtf. He is a preacher... -_-
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
I'm reminded of the biblical quote, cast not thy pearls before swine. In other words, don't waste your breath trying to impart some experience based knowledge when it won't be acceptable to the audience. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, fits too.
Dillon Brown 3 years ago
I'm judging you based on this comment 🧐 very low brow, yes, indeed
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Sardonyx_3 3 years ago
I was twelve when my Grandfather asked me if I had a Boyfriend. wtf. He is a preacher... -_-
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
I'm reminded of the biblical quote, cast not thy pearls before swine. In other words, don't waste your breath trying to impart some experience based knowledge when it won't be acceptable to the audience. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, fits too.
Dillon Brown 3 years ago
I'm judging you based on this comment 🧐 very low brow, yes, indeed
Load More Replies...
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