UK: We call it “Autumn”, from the French word “Automne”, and later, from the Latin “Autumnus.”

USA: We call it Fall because leaves fall down.

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hamptliz

hamptliz

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2 years ago

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Spoiler: Americans also call it autumn.

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My favorite part of autumn is walking through a hundred spider webs a day and screaming every single time.

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What did the ground say when fall came?

Well that’s a re-leaf.

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Why are trees so carefree and easy going?

Because every fall, they let loose.

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In Autumn, what did the skydiver say?

"I love the fall."

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What do farmers wear under their shirt when they’re cold?

A har-vest.

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What do you call a small pepper in late autumn?

A little chili.

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What do Jedi trees say to each other in the fall?

"May the forest be with you."

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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn so much?

Because he had a great fall.

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Why do trees hate going to school in the fall?

Because they’re easily stumped.

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Why can you trust leaves in the fall?

They speak from the b-autumn of their hearts.

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What is a rock star’s favorite month?

Rock-tober.

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What’s the best band to listen to in autumn?

The Spice Girls.

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What do the leaves say before they hibernate?

"Rake me up when September ends."

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What happens when winter arrives?

Autumn leaves.

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What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink?

Pumpkin spy-ced latte.

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What’s Voltaire's favorite dessert?

Candide apples.

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What kind of car do Brits drive at fall?

An autumn-atic.

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What do lumberjacks shout at the start of fall?

Sep-timberrrrrr!

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What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

Your teeth.

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What’s the saddest side dish?

Sweet potato cries.

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What is the cutest season?

Aww-tumn.

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Who lives in the scary Hundred Acre Wood?

Winnie the Boo.

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Why did the courgette, the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well?

They were gourd friends.

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What did the gardener do when he accidentally raked up a dead body?

Gasped in disbe-leaf.

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What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?

You’ll get autumn’y ache.

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I would tell you an autumn joke but you probably wouldn’t fall for it.

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Why was the tree annoyed with the children?

They wouldn’t leaf him alone.

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What did the leaf say to the other leaf?

"I’m falling for you."

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What is it called when a tree doesn’t think it’s autumn?

Disbe-leaf.

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What do you call the ghost of a chicken?

A poultry-geist.

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What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

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How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?

With your in-cider voice.

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Why did the apple pie cry?

Its peelings were hurt!

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What time of year do people get injured the most?

In the fall.

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What reads and lives in an apple?

A bookworm.

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What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

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What monster is red, round, and comes out in the fall?

Frankenapple.

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What did October say to August?

"Wake me up when September ends!"

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Why is Dracula so easy to fool?

Because he is a sucker!

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Who plays James Bond best in an autumn orchard?

Pears Brosnan.

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Why do people with vertigo hate autumn?

In case they have a bad fall.

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What do trees say when autumn comes?

"Don’t leaf me this way"

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Why was the autumn vegetable stew so valuable?

It contained 24 carat gourd.

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Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall?

They were autumn mated.

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How do people pray to Autumnal Gods?

“I’m feeling gratefall for these days.”

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Why should National Pride Day be on September 21?

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

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Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in Autumn, it’s because of nostalgia?

They’re trying to get back to their roots.

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Why shouldn’t you date a girl named Autumn?

Because she’ll leave you.

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Why do leaves change color in Autumn?

Because instead of chlorophyll, they chloro-empty.

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What did Summer say to Spring before Autumn?

"Help! I am going to fall."

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The four seasons were debating over who was the best.

Winter brags: “Well, you can make snowmen, and the snow is lovely. And then there’s Christmas!! Everyone enjoys the holiday season!”

Spring chuckles: “Sure, but everything is so fresh and new in the spring! It doesn’t get much better than all the new blooms!”

Summer says: “Yes, but I am without a doubt the best season overall! Girls in swimsuits, ice cream, and nice weather You can’t compete with it. What about you, Autumn? What can you offer?”

Autumn: leaves

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What if money grew on trees?

Autumn would be the best season ever.

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What’s the preacher’s favorite autumn song?

A-maize-ing Grace.

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What did one Almond tree say to another before Autumn?

"Hold onto your nuts; fall is here!"

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was chicken's day off.

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How can one tree contact another tree?

Through a teleafone.

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What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie?

Puff pastry.

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Why did the apple pie go to the dentist?

Because it needed a filling.

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What did the baker add to the apple pie to make it extra delicious?

Spice spice baby.

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What did the farmer say when his gourds went missing?

"There’s pumpkin strange going on around here."

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What’s an octopus’ favorite party?

Oktoperfest.

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How should you hunt wild boar in the fall?

With an autumn-atic rifle.

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Why did the conker get a sore throat?

Because it was a hoarse chestnut.

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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

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What happened when the turkey got in a fight?

The stuffing was knocked out of him.

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What is it called when a tree takes some time off?

Paid leaf.

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What’s the biggest fall phenomenon in Australia?

The Great Barrier Leaf.

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What do turkeys eat for dessert?

Peach gobbler.

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Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in October?

They fall for anything.

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Why is autumn the proudest season?

It’s fall of it.

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What do short-sighted ghouls wear?

Spooktacles.

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How do leaves get from place to place?

Autumn-mobiles.

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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body.

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What room are ghosts not allowed to enter?

The living room.

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What should you do when you witness a crime in the forest?

Report it to the leaf of police.

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What is the best book to read in autumn?

Gourd of the Rings.

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What did the tree say to fall in their fight?

"I can’t do this anymore; I’m leafing."

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What did the squash with an identity crisis say?

I’m A–Corn!

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What’s the best kind of weather for growing guns and roses?

November rain.

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Why did the squirrel call the tree a liar?

He couldn’t be-leaf a word he said.

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Why did no one laugh at the oak tree?

He kept telling acorn-y jokes.

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Why should you always eat mushrooms in the morning?

It’s the breakfast of champignons.

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What did the farmer tell the crying apple orchard keeper to do?

Grow a pear.

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Why did the tree worry that he would never get his leaves back after autumn?

He didn’t be-leaf in himself.

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Did you hear about the tree that deserted the forest at the end of fall?

He was absent without leaves.

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How did the tree get a new job?

He had the right qua-leaf-ications.

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What is the best pickup line in Autumn?

"Hey, girl are you a cool autumn breeze because you make me wanna jacket."

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Why are girls named Autumn not good at pranking?

Because nobody falls for it.

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How did Grandma know it was autumn?

She had a fall sensor.

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Why wasn’t autumn included in the list of seasons?

Because somebody had to take the fall.

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Why do trees take a break every year in Autumn?

Annual Leave.

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What is the biggest problem with Autumn jokes?

No one falls for it.

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Which is the most gourd-geous season of them all?

With all the pumpkins around, autumn.

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What did the farmer kid say to another while picking up apples during Autumn?

Fall is a-maize-ing.

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What do the trees say when they start getting their leaves back in spring?

What a re-leaf!

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What did the leaf feel when he first saw his long-lost nephew?

He was so g-leaf-ul.

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Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy fall days?

Because their kids have to play inside!

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Where do apples like to go hiking?

Mount Fuji.

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Why is fall the best time of the year to go on vacation?

The weather is un-be-leaf-able!

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What did the squash say to the pumpkin?

"Life is gourd, isn’t it?"

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Why was Cinderella not any good at softball?

Because her coach was a pumpkin!

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What do tuna fish love to drink in fall?

Mulled brine.

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How many books do you read at fall?

I usually leaf through a couple of them.

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Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match?

He let his gourd down.

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What’s Prince’s favorite vegetable?

A little red courgette.

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Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes?

She wanted to branch out.

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What did the apple say to the pie baker?

Use cherries instead.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half of a worm!

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What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable?

Squash.

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What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?

Little BOO Peep.

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What’s a strangler’s favorite soup?

Garrot and coriander.

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Why was the man shopping for Reynolds Wrap?

He thought his wife wanted to see fall foilage.

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Where does Neil Young put his cornflakes?

On his harvest spoon.

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Why was nobody scared of the tree?

His bark was worse than his bite.

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What do cars eat in the fall?

Chestnuts roasting on an open tire.

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Which emperor do skeletons love the most?

Napoleon Bone-aparte.

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What did autumn say to summer?

“Make like a tree and leave!”

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Autumn is better than summer.

Nope, that’s a fall-acy.

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Why did the tree have to go to work every day this fall?

Because he couldn’t get any autumn leaves.

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What did the blades of grass say to the tree at the start of autumn?

"Please don’t leaf us again!”

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What does a spaceship wear in autumn?

A hullover.

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If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?

Poultree.

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Why do birds fly south for the fall?

It beats walking.

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What does a school book do in the fall?

It puts on a jacket.

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How do gourds get so strong?

By pumpkin iron.

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What did the pumpkin football coach tell his team before the big game?

"Gourd big or gourd home!"

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What did the pumpkin tell his girlfriend on their date?

"Hey pumpkin, you’re looking boo-tiful!"

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Why do you never see deer hiding in trees?

Because they’re really good at it.

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Why did the Jack-o’-lantern look after the pie?

They were pump-kin.

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Why are apples so bad in interrogations?

They always crumble.

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Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road when they go to school?

The traffic gourd!

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What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

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What part did the turkeys play in the Thanksgiving Day parade?

They played their drumsticks.

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Why does the guy like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves, whenever Autumn comes around?

He is a street sweeper.

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What band do autumn vandals listen to?

The Smashing Pumpkins.

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I’ll leaf you alone now, as there’s not mushroom for more people to contreebute.

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Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They don’t have any hands to knock on the door.

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