If you haven't seen the shenanigans of The Museum of English Rural Life on Twitter, then you've missed a lot, but you can still catch up on their tweets here. And if you're up to date with their perfect sense of humor, here's what they've recently came up with. For #NationalDogDay on August 26th the MERL, whose mission is to "explore the English countryside, its history, and its people," asked readers to submit bios of their funny dogs who were bred for practical purposes but now fills their days doing nothing of any useful purpose and primarily spending their days as couch potatoes.
As you might know, dog breeds differ not only by looks but also by a job the dog is supposed to do or be good at. For example, a Labrador Retriever is a working dog who was bred to retrieve shot game, a Bernese Mountain was bred to be a guard dog, and Foxhound, well, to hunt foxes. Despite careful breeding and being perfect specimens of their dog types all the doggies from the MERL's challenge have failed their duties so bad that it became absolutely uproarious.
Scroll down below to read the hilarious dog fails about pooches who will not be retrieving fowl, digging holes or guarding their families any time soon. A funny dog meme always makes the day better!
This British museum asked people to submit bios of their dogs for #NationalDogDay
Here are the hilarious submissions
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Being surporised by own farts is a dog feature in general :D My mini snauzer made really nasty silent killers. And then he looked around super confused and surprised by what on earth stinks so much!
Mine has some serious "silent but deadly farts", which she doesn't bother to notice, mostly because she's asleep with her back side pointed toward me!! But if she's sitting on the ground when one that makes a noise (I think that's the key, the noise) hits her. She looks at her butt, then stands up to smell the spot, because obviously it wasn't her!! Between the frogs, worms, tons of grass (seriously, her poop is usually green!), and of course OPP (other people's poop), I can't imagine why she'd have some gas. Sigh.
Load More Replies...I WAANNTT one!!!! I've wanted one ever since I was a kid. Some day..... he's gorgeous!
Guide dogs that don't make the grade really do make excellent pets. Our neighbours had one and she was fantastic.
My dog Bob loved people so I took her for the Therapy dog tryout at a nursing home-She spent the whole time she sniffing the floor for dropped cookie crumbs and wasn't interested in being petted. 12027724_1...67d7e0.jpg
So this dog weighs 120 lbs??? Anyone else find that a tad hard to believe?? 80 at most
Bernese mountain dogs were mainly bred to pull milk carts
Aaron Kara, No. just no. Either bark or "bork" can be used. (But I gotta admit, bork sounds cuter!)
Load More Replies...I bark at my clock too, every morning in fact, when it rudely wakes me out of my sleep. So, I get it Archie ;)
My cocker spaniel follows her shadow and barks at visitors AFTER they leave. I still love her to bits. She turns 13 on 9/23.
Cockers have very soft silky hair that Mats super easy even with daily brushing. I keep my cocker spaniels hair short too. My dogs roll around a lot, especially if they find something they think smells good. I tried the long hair thing and it was a nightmare!
Load More Replies...He is DEFINITELY pointing!!! (at the ceiling...but he IS pointing!)
gee sounds like my blue heeler sleeps on the couch wakes up barks at nothing and goes back to sleep
Ma'am, have you tried shooting whatever he's chasing? Working as intended. Won't fix. Close ticket.
William looks as though he has a bit of schnauzer in his family tree...
I think he's a wire haired dachshund. They have mustaches!
Load More Replies...William the dog can u dig it William the dog no I cant bob the builder
HE'S neat! Never seen a dachshund with a beard! I bet you're glad he doesn't dig though. :)
i had a Aussie terrier who used to chase rabbits only thing the rabbit would turn the other way and Bobby would just carry on his way to nowhere
Indeed. It's his way to try to get you to buy him some sheep.
Load More Replies...I had a friend with a herd dog. Whenever she had a party the dog would try to herd everyone. He was really good at herding groups of small children too lol
I once watched 2 Border Collies herd a Standard Poodle at a dog park "Guys, I'm one of you!" "Nice try, sheep boy."
Load More Replies...a foot warmer is a very important job. newton has a new calling in life.
why retrieve, when you can look fabulous? Tilly has that part down pat.
Well, you can't possibly want him to retrieve something - he'd ruin that luscious coat! Besides, that's what staff are for.
It's not easy to always be there for the end of everybody's naps! It's not like those pesky humans keep to a nice, organized nap schedule!
Load More Replies...Just keep him away from the zoo, just in case. Do you know how much a lion costs?
Ridgebacks were not bred to kill Lions, they were bred to keep them at bay
Stoic charlie..."I've seen a lot of s**t in my day, ate quite a bit too"
Let's see, run my butt off after a bunch of stinky sheep or lounge in this chair? Wise choice, Charlie.
He looks like he should be sitting in front of a fire and smoking a cigar.
Beagles were bred mostly for bigger animals, their goal is to tire the prey by following it again and again, their howl is made for the hunters to know where they are.
Thought I'd read that they were bred for hunting hares mainly.
Load More Replies...Excuse my ignorance, but is this breed really called a "Latvian Sausagehound?" Because if so, that's amazing.
Hahaha... Do the older, weaker loaves of bread grow in the garden in Kampala, or do they just lurk there?
There you go, he's culling the herd. Now only healthy loaves of bread will survive and reproduce, providing you with a happy, stable bread population. Just be sure not to import any French rolls, they're an invasive species and they might upset the fragile ecological balance.
Helping you stick to your diet, it’s not about what you want, it’s about what you need. lol My good girl keeps her distance and lets me eat what I want, she knows not to beg for food because I’ve never given her any. When I’m done eating she comes back over to me. Then she makes sure I haven’t left any crumbs... 😂
my dog is also very good at hearing us unwrap a slice of cheese!! IMG_201801...ed3df7.jpg
Yeah, those chesses can be really dangerous, especially the moldy ones. *Shudders*
I have a Border Terrier Mix too and she often sleeps in until 10am or later. But she does like to hike!
Yep, I get this one. Here's my water dog "swimming": Maggie-5b9...c229ad.jpg
I once had a Newf just like this girl. Bella was afraid of water altogether - she never received the memo that she was a water rescue dog...
I bet if you fell into that pool and started to drowned Cara would be more than happy to shoved you out of her pool.
Our annual Christmas parade has a whole trolley full of Newfoundlands & their owners. I've never seen anything so big be so cute!
We'll you can't drown if he's already hogging all the water, so he's got you covered!
Yep, five naps a day sounds about right. Four hours each, on average, I'm guessing? 😁
i <3 him! my dane has almost caught a chipmunk once. mom told her to let it go, and being the good gurl she is, she let it go. she then proceeded to look at mom like "but i almost had it, mom!!"
Indeed. And since I've seen cats chase bears, this makes perfect sense - dog chases bear, both are chased by cat. Cat reigns supreme and will now accept offerings.
Load More Replies...German Shepherds hold a special place in my heart. I had a German Shepherd for 10 years. Her name was Maya and she passed away last year from cancer. She was an incredible dog. I miss her everyday.
My GSD Charlie gave up trying to wake me up early on my days off. Now he gets up with the husband, goes pre then rushes back up to our room and hops in next to me for an after pre nap.
Our GSD Charlie gave up trying to wake me up early on my days off. Now he gets up with the husband, goes pee then rushes back up to our room and hops in next to me for an after pre nap.
Agreed!! Just dumped when they are no longer able to run fast enough. Dreadful.
Load More Replies...Do dogs really like being dressed up? Or do we just like to think they do?
For this dog, it's not so much about being dressed up as it is about keeping warm. Greyhounds don't tolerate the cold all that well.
Load More Replies...My Boston Terrier is also deathly afraid of trash bags! What's up with that?
Yeah, I understand about the farting. My dog's an after dinner farter. Like clockwork. Silent but deadlies. Sleeps through them. He's a Terrier-Pomeranian-Whippet mix (we had his DNA tested), who also has a nub of a tail, and does little but beg for everything we're eating, sleep through his farts, and bark at nothing, which you know is a real threat... For all his weirdness of appearance and personality, he does love us and our 3 cats, and is very much loved in return.
OMG! Where did you get his DNA tested? I have 2 mutts and would love to know if my guesses about their origin are right! :) I call them my little multidogs
Load More Replies...Well, I mean Shakespeare never wrote Three Sheeps of Verona or Romehhheo and Juliet, did he?
I've had my dog 3 years and I've never put together that she's "tunneling" under the blankets!! She does try to go after the moles in the yard, but about a quarter of the was into her tunnel (which would only need to be 2-3 inches) she gives up to go chase a bug or eat a "stinky flower to give her stinky farts"(5 year old nephew). Who knows what other strange things she might find or do. I can tell you, she can outrun every last adult and child on this property (which is moving closer and closer to a compound!!)
I forgot to add: she's dachshund-papillon, and way overweight for either, at 20 pounds. I try putting her on a diet but she gives me the sad eyes and a little cry and I'm done for!! Even if I'm having salad, she want part of that, with or without dressing. She just loves most all food.
Load More Replies...Oh___sorry, you're sleeping. Like you do. 19 hours a day. Sorry to bother you.
My Iggie is terrified of everything. She is glued to my side whenever possible, and will howl the entire time I'm gone, even if she can see me through the window taking the bins out to the sidewalk. She exists in 2 states - quivering abject terror while hiding behind Mom or exhausted nightmare filled sleep while hiding under the covers next to Mom. I love her, am her emotional support human, but she'd never make it a second as a working dog. She'd pass out from the panic of having to be more than a foot away from me.
Poor Iggie! Can the vets help with the anxiety at all? Glad you are there for her as some people wouldn't bother.
Load More Replies...If the Golden Retriever is not retrieving... he's just Golden... and that's enough. :)
He is adorable, isnt it enough that he has to live out his life in Edmonton ????
We had a St. Bernard when our kids were little, he was constantly used as step to get on the sofa by the kids when they were toddlers (he loved them snuggling him too) lol Whenever we took a him for a walk, he'd get tired and just lie down wherever we happened to be at the time resulting hubby having to go get the car & lift him in on several occasions ha ha ha - he was an amazing dog RIP Ardal
The most determined spooner dogs I've met have been Dachshunds.
Load More Replies...Chimney Demon? I'm wondering if it's the noise of wind in the flue or the fire itself he doesn't like.
One of my dogs is ecstatic when she gets hold of a piece of paper. She is tiny so she has to hold her head up really high if she gets her paws on something the size of a typical envelope - and still trips up. Also really rubbish at hiding so we can always find her tearing her 'prize' to pieces.
Watch out! That make may look sweet, but she's a real nasty customer come fall. Redheads, you know.
The chin rest must be a GSD thing, both of our GSD's do it. Especially when bread is involved, they LOVE bread.
Poodles are so lovely - especially when the don't have the stupid haircuts.
Funnily, the haircut was for protection originally! Poodles fur was cut short so they can swim easier, but the puffs was a measure to protect their joints from the cold water! :)
Load More Replies...They are running together again. They will greet you on the other side when it is your time to cross. So sorry for your loss and heart pain.
I'm so sorry. Losing both in that short amount of time....I don't want to imagine.
AKA Rat Terrier. I have one and he truly is the sweetest dog on the planet.
I've always been told sheepdogs are smart. Now I have hard evidence of it.
Especially border collies, which are the world's smartest dog!
Load More Replies...Australian Shepherds are smart, so this one knows how to avoid hard work!
American* Not Australian, Phoebe Bean. But I do agree, Ammies (American Shepherds) are quite smart.
Load More Replies...Don't you worry about the dark, Georges, you can always cuddle right up to your favorite people. They'll protect you.
He's being as much Cocker Spaniel as he can be, considering the circumstances.
he just watched a lot of you tube makeup tutorials (dog has more skills than me haha)
Load More Replies...I used to have a Keeshond best mouser around. I miss my Fuzzbutt!
my son had a shepherd that would not let anyone he new go swimming and if you got past him well he was on to it and would drag you out by arm. head whatever part of your body was closest boy lots of tears but a good dog
It looks like he´s not really looking forward to it! "I´m so comfy here"
I wish I could find a BC like her. My girl Lucy passed 4 years ago. I am unable to be as active as most BC's require, so this attitude would be perfect!
go for an older doggo as they are hopefully past the come on lets go time of life and will enjoy just company
Load More Replies...Love Cairns, my boy max is def a lazy one. https://www.boredpanda.com/my-lazy-dog/?utm_source=iosapp&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=iosapp
Our GSD Charlie once turned my McDonald's Grand Mac into a regular old Big Mac in one fell nosh! I was so looking forward to that extra burger
"Why do I bother if there is no reindeer in sight?". Bellis, you are right.
The time might be inconvenient for her but the place for sure isn't inconvenient for him.
Sadly you aren't supposed to feed apple cores to dogs. There isn't much cyanide in the pips but over time it can accumulate. You can give a dog a small slice of the apple - not too much as it can cause belly ache and the trots.
Saw a poster about this last time I took my dog to the vet.
Load More Replies...Thank you for letting the dog do what it has been bred to do for a few hundred years even if part-time-yah! Dogs are happiest doing a 'job' that reflects the breed. So many, many of the dogson this thread look sad and bored! People- get your arses out and get into some sort of activity that your dog is bred for or likes. Being a bored housedog is not giving your best to your friend! Owning a dog(s) is hard work!! Good job 'the merl'!
Agreed. If you're going to get a working dog, you need to make sure to give that dog a good workout every day. They get bored & restless without a job, so they need lots of vigorous exercise. Do your research!
Load More Replies...That wasn't the type of croc I thought you meant at first!
Load More Replies...I had a "lazy" Border Collie. She was still smart as could be, though!
Would really appreciate it if you would please turn the lights off and lower the shades.
I had a husky who was terrified of snow. Refused to go out if there was even a trace of it on the ground. Had to return her to the rescue people after she became super aggressive towards me.
Oh that's terrible! I'm so sorry that happened but there is no way you could keep an agressive husky around.
Load More Replies...My friend had a purebred Labrador Retriever named Pepper. Pepper never figured out how to retrieve or play with toys. She hated water, too. But she was the best dog ever...she had diarrhea all over the house one day, making her mom late for work. It was on 9/11/01 and mom worked in the North Tower of the World Trade Center and lost many coworkers. Mom never made it to work because of Pepper and Pepper never again had diarrhea.
Whoa, God Bless Pepper! Wondering, how did your mom feel about it?
Load More Replies...Love these! My dogs are both purebred, a Standard Poodle and a Great Dane. They work perfectly and once, they caught a bird. We only found the head and wings... it was weird.
This is Horton, the Great Dane. Originally bred in Germany for the purpose of hunting the European wild boar, which at the time was the most savage of all game on the Continent. (Savage beast... drooling over the pizza in my hand. Since he's afraid of the deer in the backyard pretty sure that's a no on the wild boar) :D Horton-5c8...c2d769.jpg
Boxers are loyal and fathful guardians. They will guard you from your sofa and your bed. After some thought they will also guard you from the neighbour's cat They are highly intelligent and a pair make a great Tag-Team - one barks out of the window, when you pop into the next room for 20 seconds to check the greedy one hoovers up the 4 chicken breasts from the counter.
My Buster was a German shorthaired pointer, an amalgam breed created to be the perfect hunting dog, a waterdog / gundog, so on and so on. He hated water (except for ice cubes) and was scared of loud noises. Loved cuddles and teasing his chow chow brother Ceaser.
I have a red Pomeranian named Scarlett who was bred to do not much if anything. She spends her days alternating mooching food and passing out from the effort. Every night she licks her paws and washes her face like a cat and she is a first class attention hog. Oh, also, she owns me.
Cute dogs.. But out of 186 dogs, no Cavalier King Charles Spaniels? WHY?!!
Hmm - I believe that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels were bred to be companion animals so that was their only job. Maybe they just do it too well so couldn't make this list...????
Load More Replies...Miyuri does an ok job as an Akita, all things considered. She does snarl at strangers outside the door if they're talking too much too close, and there's no game to be hunt but she sneaks up on the small birds and mice at the park. A for effort, I'd say.
My friend had a purebred Labrador Retriever named Pepper. Pepper never figured out how to retrieve or play with toys. She hated water, too. But she was the best dog ever...she had diarrhea all over the house one day, making her mom late for work. It was on 9/11/01 and mom worked in the North Tower of the World Trade Center and lost many coworkers. Mom never made it to work because of Pepper and Pepper never again had diarrhea.
Whoa, God Bless Pepper! Wondering, how did your mom feel about it?
Load More Replies...Love these! My dogs are both purebred, a Standard Poodle and a Great Dane. They work perfectly and once, they caught a bird. We only found the head and wings... it was weird.
This is Horton, the Great Dane. Originally bred in Germany for the purpose of hunting the European wild boar, which at the time was the most savage of all game on the Continent. (Savage beast... drooling over the pizza in my hand. Since he's afraid of the deer in the backyard pretty sure that's a no on the wild boar) :D Horton-5c8...c2d769.jpg
Boxers are loyal and fathful guardians. They will guard you from your sofa and your bed. After some thought they will also guard you from the neighbour's cat They are highly intelligent and a pair make a great Tag-Team - one barks out of the window, when you pop into the next room for 20 seconds to check the greedy one hoovers up the 4 chicken breasts from the counter.
My Buster was a German shorthaired pointer, an amalgam breed created to be the perfect hunting dog, a waterdog / gundog, so on and so on. He hated water (except for ice cubes) and was scared of loud noises. Loved cuddles and teasing his chow chow brother Ceaser.
I have a red Pomeranian named Scarlett who was bred to do not much if anything. She spends her days alternating mooching food and passing out from the effort. Every night she licks her paws and washes her face like a cat and she is a first class attention hog. Oh, also, she owns me.
Cute dogs.. But out of 186 dogs, no Cavalier King Charles Spaniels? WHY?!!
Hmm - I believe that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels were bred to be companion animals so that was their only job. Maybe they just do it too well so couldn't make this list...????
Load More Replies...Miyuri does an ok job as an Akita, all things considered. She does snarl at strangers outside the door if they're talking too much too close, and there's no game to be hunt but she sneaks up on the small birds and mice at the park. A for effort, I'd say.

