What's that Lassie? Timmy fell down a well!?

Holy smoke

I just tried and it works. Police said they are fine. Or fining me. On of these.

It might be moving directly away from you, but better not take the 50/50 chances.

Unless you have outstanding warrants for your arrest 😂 in which case you can a) pull over and be arrested or b) drive it like you stole it and escape 😀

mental note: stop biting my nails...just in case...

For any given value of "simply".

If you smell gas and electrical devices are *on* do not turn them off - the same logic applies. The current is already flowing and there are no additional sparks to worry about.

One can only hope.

Except parrots

Never leave you drink unintended...ever!

my godchild had Retinoblastoma and had his right eye removed with just a few months old. The Doctors first didn't believed that there's something wrong with him, just a little crossed eyed, but after the diagnosis and looking at pictures of that time, you could see the Retina not reflecting red with the flash light on, but a white milky appearance. So when you feel like there's something wrong with your child, I can advice to take a few pictures with the flash on and take a closer look. My godchild lost his eye, but the fast diagnosis saved his other eye and could be treated with radiation. he is living a happy life :-)

And then you will be a popsicle for the bear...how nice of you!!

Note: Apply pressure AROUND the wound -- ideally, above and below it. Do not apply pressure to the knife.

If I ever saw square waves in the ocean I would wonder who the hell dosed me with acid.

Unless you wandered into her territory (aka there may be cubs around), don't back up at all. Yell. Be loud. Put your arms up to appear larger than you are. If you're at home, grab a pot and a spoon or anything loud and bang them together. Absolutely positively, do not run. (Source: I used to live near mountain lion country, and sometimes they'd wander down the mountain and into yards in the winter.)

Show 'em who's boss

I worked as a technician at a bowling alley, I can confirm that the deck that holds / picks up the pins will indeed crush you, it’s extremely heavy, it’s controlled by a computer that doesn’t care if you are in the way and it will drop towards the lane without warning. I’ve no idea why you would think it was a good idea to slide underneath the deck, the sweep and the deck are both clearly very tough bits of kit, you aren’t! We had double safety locking systems on the power supply and physical stops inside them on our pinsetters so that when were working on them there was zero chance of them operating, They will chew you up and spit you out. Your coffin will be wide and flat.

This works for cats too. I saw it on a pet rescue where they thought (or knew) a cat had been poisoned with antifreeze. They lived through the worse hang over ever!

Any electrical engineers care to chime in on the voracity of this statement? This would be life saving information to have if true.

If you survive the car crash you mean...

No it isn't, you should lay on top of a fat person.

Or there’s a child with a balloon above you, it’s up to you to judge which is more likely….

Unless it’s projectile vomit, in which case this does not work. It does make the others in the house curious about what’s happening in the bathroom though

Then punch the shark it was planning to share you with in the nose and casually swim back to shore giving the "what's up?" shrug to any other thug beasts thinking about joining in. I got it now: Alligator = finger in nose. Shark = punch nose.

Why haven’t the zebras and wildebeest figured this one out?

That seems awfully nosy.

Geez, people, consider staying out of dangerous water!

Tiger - Scold very harshly!

I heard of a story about a guy who got his arm caught in a crocodile or gator mouth and was beeing pulled down. He tried pushing his thumb into it's eye until he thought his thumb would break but no luck. Then he put is other arm in the croc/gator mouth to open some flap to make water pour down it's throat and then it let go of him. I sure would prefer trying the nose first before putting my other arm in it's mouth

Absolutely disgusting, but because it’s either that or death, I’ll chose it.

If you can reach or compos mentus to remember !!

Must remember this as you're being rolled over and over, held under water and having either your body or a limb already in it's mouth.

I'll be sure to remember that as I die from panic

Better still, whatever part of your body is in their mouth, try and get an arm/hand/leg to the back of their throat. They have a large flap that prevents water going in their lungs so they can kill prey underwater. If you can get that flap and water starts gushing into their breathing apparatus, they will let go quickly. You can also try poking eyes.

✌️➡️🐊