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People tend to make a lot of assumptions. With so much information to process every single day, it’s hard not to. But generalizations can lead to misinformation and a warped sense of reality. All of us need a wake-up call to keep us grounded, from time to time.

Recently, the members of the massively popular r/AskMen shed some light on what it’s like to live as a guy. They shared some of their top facts about men that women might not be aware of. We’ve collected some of their best insights to share with you. Check them out as you keep scrolling.

#1

“After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That many of us don't want to hurt women or make them uncomfortable.

I spend so much mental effort and time monitoring myself so I don't make the women around me uncomfortable. I understand why women feel like this - it only takes 1 s****y man to change someone's life forever. So I get you have to be vigilant.

I know I'm not dangerous. But I also know women have to operate under the assumption I could be dangerous for their own safety.

I get it. I just want you to feel safe.

4greatscience , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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    #2

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe You can think someone is attractive without being attractED to them.

    Accel_Lex , KoolShooters Report

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    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman and I absolutely believe this. I see men all the time that I can see are attractive. I can see why other people find them attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. Off the top of my head: Jason Momoa. He's clearly an attractive man. I can see that. But I'm not attracted to him. He does nothing for me. It's no different than all the women I find attractive that I'm not attracted to because I'm straight. I still have eyes though and can appreciate why others might be attracted to them.

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    #3

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe The reason why so many men don't show emotion is because at one point in our lives, we opened up, and it was used against us to some degree. It's happened to almost every man at some point. We choose to be distant so we don't get hurt again.

    Vegetable-Mall-2329 , Tomé Louro Report

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    Kimberly Alison
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This happens to women over and over again. We’ve been hurt too. It’s still better to share who you are.

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    It’s no wonder that there’s some misinformation about any topic, including men, floating around on the World Wide Web. People are more likely to believe information that gets repeated more frequently. This is true for both real facts and gossip.

    This phenomenon is called the illusory truth effect. It’s a cognitive bias where individuals associate reliability and plausibility with repetition. Somewhat worryingly, it holds true even when someone starts off knowing that the information they’re hearing is false or if they’re suspicious of the source’s reliability.

    #4

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe Sometimes we aren't consciously staring at some part of your body, we're just zoned out thinking about something and you happen to be in the line of sight.

    Flatulatio , Chinmay Singh Report

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    David
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I am in thought, often I am looking through the person, not at them.

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    #5

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe We can talk with our male friends for hours, and not find out a damn thing about what’s going on with their lives.

    And we’re still cool with each other.

    Spektakles882 , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have known a guy for 5 years. Played D&D together and yet his name still eludes me. I know him by the nickname...

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    #6

    That some of us need an emotional connection to enjoy sex.

    penguinmanbat Report

    Psychology Today explains that the illusory truth effect was first established in 1977 with the help of a series of psychological studies. During those studies, researchers found that every time an untrue statement was repeated, people’s confidence in the validity of the information grew.

    While this can lead to the accidental spread of misinformation, others can deliberately use this cognitive bias to spread propaganda, especially related to political topics.

    #7

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe We don't care for the long gel acrylics or threaded eyebrows or pound of make up.

    not_a_cat_i_swear , freestocks.org Report

    #8

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That as much as you assume we know what you're thinking, we don't. We like directions, instructions, not assuming that we know what we have to do.

    Megaman2u , Vera Arsic Report

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    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This depends on what he means. I agree that communication is important. But if he's talking about things like household chores--then just no. I shouldn't have to direct and instruct another grown adult what needs to be done in the house. No one is directing and instructing me but I somehow know what needs to get done.

    winterwidow87
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely. And if you mess up/don't do something perfectly at first try it doesn't matter, next time you'll do better. Women aren't magically born good at chores, we learn with practice.

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    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The classic joke concerns the first woman astronaut: "Houston, we have a problem." "This is Houston - what is your problem?" "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!"

    Heffalump
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. I can still remember being in couples therapy and being told 'you should know'. Like HOW?

    winterwidow87
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Communication is key in every relationship. Never assume your partner can read your mind and talk to them, regardless of gender.

    similarly
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don't give me hints. I don't do "hints". Just communicate.

    fly on the wall
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so very true for all genders. Clear indications of what is desired at specific times. You don't have to like something ALL the time and taste change with different circumstances but clear indication of pleasure encourages better outcomes

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really believe narcissists think everyone should read their minds. My theory is that they get frustrated when having to casually communicate with others they think of as beneath them, or having to bother accommodate anyone's communication needs.

    Lee Stone
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm blown away by the comments. "Tell me what you want" but "don't tell me how to do it and just accept however I do it." Umm, if you need to be told what to do because you don't care about it as much as they do, then you've already shifted responsibility for the task to your partner and you've given them permission to also tell you how to do it. Or, alternatively, if you disagree on how it should be done, then don't expect them to read your mind. People out here don't want to take responsibility for a shared task, but also don't want someone telling them what to do. Makes no sense.

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    Dre Mosley
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're mad at us, just say why you're mad so that we can work on fixing it. Don't make us play the "Guess what you did wrong" game.

    Nick Scott
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my wife 24 years ago that I do not "read between the lines." She then said something, and I replied, "So, you want to give me a bj." She got it after that

    Alexia
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Communication AND common sense are both keys for a good relationship. I don't have to remind you about your part of the house chores; I don't have to know where you left your things, or what schedule you have tomorrow. My ex told me once "my mother did all the chores at home, and she also reminded me about this & that". Well, breaking news - I'm not your mommy. On the other hand, it's stupid for some women to believe that "if he loves me, he knows what I want" - no, he doesn't. Tell him.

    Mariotevez
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adults practice communication. WE can't magically deduce what you want/ is bothering you, anymore than you can...

    Jan Hyde
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Will you take the trash out?" - What the man hears "Will you take the trash out at some point today when you get a minute" What she thinks she said. "Take the trash our right now"

    Fire Singer
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I got married my dad gave me some advice. The one that really stuck with me was, "Men usually don't get subtlety so please just tell him or ask him for what you want. Don't make him guess." I don't always accomplish this but I do know I get far better results when I'm just blunt and say, "Hey I need you to do XYZ for me." 99 out of 100 times he does it. Not all men are like this but it works well for my husband if I don't try to be subtle.

    AppleInMyHeart
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    learnt this in my marriage. if i want something. ASK HIM. i want him to pamper me, want him to cuddle, if i am hurt and need him to apologise... direct to the point. it works and we are married 16 years. eldest daughter 15. we are getting our first grey hair and wrinkles,still honeymoom phase!

    Miki
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is more based on stupid thing people believe woman do- "guess". Only toxic person is doing that.

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    #9

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe Some of us don’t cheat. Some of us don’t like one night stands. I like to know my woman’s body. Easier to make them crazy about me.

    WadeFlavor , anait film Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like to think MOST of us don't cheat. I'm 44 and never cheated once in my life. When I'm into someone I'm all in and I don't see other women that way. Never could wrap my head around cheating.

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    A major issue with countering the illusory truth effect is that pushing back against misinformation relies on repeating the same lies that you’re trying to debunk. This, ironically, only works to solidify those very same false facts.

    One alternative solution is using the truth sandwich approach, as proposed by cognitive linguist George Lakoff. He suggested mentioning the truth, then the lie, and then describing the correct info. Lakoff suggests always repeating more truths than lies.

    #10

    We actually find you just as attractive without the makeup, my wife still doesn't believe me and gets confused when I compliment her makeup but she actually doesn't have any on. I really can't tell sometimes.

    Automatic-Plastic-53 Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some women have such low self-esteem about their natural appearance within themselves, no amount of compliments will convince them otherwise. They worn makeup so much as a part of their morning routine that they don't feel awake and presentable without the pastes, creams and powders slathered on their faces. To them, they would feel unrecognizable and naked, perhaps even scary looking. It's psychological and they need therapy to undo that warped, dysphoric mindset of themselves.

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    #11

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe Women would be surprised to know just how many of us have been SAed.

    savethebros , viresh studio Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS! It happened to me more than once. I was 21 years old when I was raped. I also used to date a woman who would get drunk on whiskey and beat me. It's far more common than people think.

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    #12

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe When I say “I don’t care” about something, I truly do not care. I don’t care if we go to visit your parents or go watch grass grow outside. I really want to do whatever makes you happy.

    Knautical_J , Allef Vinicius Report

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    Fran F
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t care, to most women implies either a lack of interest or a dismissal. So if you want fewer fights say “I’m good with whatever you want to do,” not “I don’t care.”

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    Another alternative is so-called prebunking or inoculation. In short, it involves first explaining how scientific information can be distorted and then moving on to the consensus on the subject.

    What false truths have you personally heard about men, Pandas? What misinterpretations do you wish would get corrected everywhere on the internet? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

    #13

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe It feels like many women are misinformed about what we find attractive.

    Relaxenjoyyourself:
    Very true. It seems to me that women get their idea of what a man finds attractive from other women and gay men. I think a lot of celebrity women are too thin and look sick.

    Haventyouheard3 , Alexander Mass Report

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    #14

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe The "Nothing Box"...we really do have the ability to think about nothing. Women have a hard trouble believing this. I refer to you the below comedian who explains it well....

    Like how so many men love fishing and women can't understand...just switch off and think about nothing.

    _VittuPerkele , Austin Neill Report

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    René Sauer
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wish I could do that. I am constantly thinking about hypothetical scenarios, like, what would I do if I win a couple million in the lottery? What kinda business would I open?

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    #15

    Men want to, need to and would love to be expressive and vulnerable around you, sometimes switching roles and being the one with the shoulder we need to cry on is ok. It doesn’t mean we are weak, it means we trust you like we trust our mother and would like to open up and build a bond where we both feel supported by each other.

    I’ve heard a lot of women complain that men don’t share or men aren’t emotional. Tbh if a man gets emotional, y’all either make fun of it, or dismiss him as a weakling, and then ask why we don’t get vulnerable around y’all. We just find it easier to share it with a guy friend (most of whom don’t know how to deal with their own emotional issues so supporting each other is out the window).

    And to the few women I’ve met who understand and support men while they’re being vulnerable, thank you.

    Bi_guy3 Report

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    Arkham Wohlfert
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, yes, this is a big one. I hate this part. Pick a side, either you want me to be vulnerable, or you don't. Playing both is harmful, confusing and frustrating.

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    #16

    That not all of us are misogynistic, domestic violence prone , controlling , anger issues having a******s . There are many of us who just want to be heard , asked about our interests, accompany you and die fighting for you .
    Oh yeah and we just wanna be held sometimes.

    Satirical98 Report

    #17

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe Women don’t know what men find attractive. A lot of women I know personally think men love playing mind games. Think playing hot or cold because “men love mystery”. One of the dumbest things I’ve heard in a long time.

    Vlad_The_Great_2 , Jasmine Carter Report

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    winterwidow87
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's being ingrained in them by romance novels/movies. The same type of novels/movies that tell the guy to keep chasing the girl after she said no because eventually she'll give in. Those things have done so much damage for straight relationships.

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    #18

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe 1) Sometimes erections happen and has nothing to do with what we're seeing or thinking about.

    2) We really don't get complimented ever. I've seen some women on here recently claim this isn't true.

    3) Women are just as responsible as men for men suppressing emotions.

    MartialBob , Jeremy Perkins Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think women just don't compliment men because we're worried it's not something men are comfortable with, or it's deemed as not masculine to give a compliment. Women may also feel like if we give a compliment we're inviting the interaction to go further than wanted.

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    #19

    That we are ready to bang anytime. First of all, I can't get aroused about a woman I don't respect. Don't care how bouncy your figure is if you talk down to the help.

    SwearToSaintBatman Report

    #20

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe It hurts when you invalidate our feelings or tell us we are bad at things.

    Always_Choose_Chaos , cottonbro studio Report

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    juni
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah. Of course.Everybody wants to be taken seriously. Men and women. I don't quite understand how that seems to be something some people don't seems to understand.

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    #21

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe Sometimes we don't feel like talking doesn't mean there is anything wrong. We just need time in our own heads sometimes.

    Sufficient-Produce83 , Mike Greer Report

    #22

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe I gave up dating and chasing women years ago. I was never any good at it and never found it was worth the effort. I'm perfectly fine single so I just can't muster the enthusiasm to bother putting the effort in any more.

    My female friends and family flat out refuse to believe I haven't been on a date or hooked up with anyone in about 5 years. They view all guys as desperate, s*x crazed maniacs and the notion that as a single, straight, apparently reasonably attractive man I'm not out trying to hook up with women constantly just does not compute with them and they refuse to believe it.

    They think I'm lying or I'm hiding some secret harem of women somewhere, and I've even had some of them try to test if I'm actually gay and hiding it. When I've explained my issues with dating to them in the past they just scoff at it and say 'why don't you just go to a bar and hook up with someone or download a dating app', as if that's all I have to do and I'll have women lining up to get with me. They're baffled when I say it's not that easy for some guys.

    chadgalaxy , Pixabay Report

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    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this dude was around too many people who care about the physical more than the emotional. Also Hot = lots of sex. That is all they see... That is very f****d up regardless of gender.

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    #23

    Many women believe we don’t care about emotional connection as much as they do, but in reality, we often value it deeply but might express it differently.

    Future-World-4024 Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I blame "gender roles". Strong men are supposed to be stoic and strong. Utter BS. We aren't that different.

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    #24

    There are many of us who can work full-time, raise kids, and maintain a household perfectly fine.

    izzzy12k Report

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    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which just makes me more irritated at the "weaponized incompetence" bastards who make the rest of us look bad.

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    #25

    That we can find women who look very different attractive at the same time.

    IrregularBastard Report

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    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women do this too. I have pretty equal crushes on both Keanu Reeves and Chris Farley, and was crazy about Donald Sutherland.

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    #26

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe We don’t want our girl to be like the girl I like on my instagram feed.

    IkramAli007 , Nathan Dumlao Report

    #27

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe We can go months without ever receiving any attention from the opposite sex.

    Agreeable-Many7054 , Zen Chung Report

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    Christopher Crockett
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s been close to a decade. My own fault really, I just stopped dating when I felt I had nothing left to offer. I miss being with someone that way, but if there isn’t any connection, I just can’t abide. I’m just scenery for other peoples stories now. Not complaining, just stating what is.

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    #28

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That we don't just care about s*x, and that some of us actually care very little about it at all.

    orlybatman , cottonbro studio Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's that whole myth that men think about sex every 12 seconds. It's simply not true.

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    #29

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe We really dont talk s**t or sex about you.

    Can't remember the last time a bud has talked about their sex life or drama life, we just don't talk about that.

    Ta-veren- , Helena Lopes Report

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    Arkham Wohlfert
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok yeah, this one is just false. When I began "passing" as male after being on hormones to transition from female to male, one of the top 2 major differences I noticed right away was that when men didn't know i was trans they would just randomly start talking super inappropriately about women in their lives, or even just some woman that just left the room. When they know i am, it's rare but still happens. It's either "that b***h is crazy" or something about their bodies and what they do or don't want to do with them. It's far worse than I expected, actually.

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    #30

    The likelihood that we will be over 6 foot, have a good family life, can travel anywhere at the drop of a hat _and_ making 6 figure income is extremely small.

    Harms88 Report

    #31

    1. erections are involuntary. Sometimes a response to mental or physical stimulation, but sometimes you can find yourself having an erection you don't want, and everyone thinks you're horny when you're not.
    2. we have a stitchline on our balls from when the labia fused in the womb to create what then became the ballsack.
    3. we all have a shoebox of old wires, adapters, connectors, and cables.
    4. sometimes we slam doors and break things, not because we're angry or anything like that, but it can be hard to control your strength sometimes, so you might slam a door and then instantly recoil like "oh f**k oh f**k oh f**k" because you realized you shut it too hard - this is also why some men might be averse/scared to choke or slap girls in bed who ask for it; we don't want to cause actual harm, and it's very easy to accidentally go too hard.
    5. I don't know anything about, nor talk about, my friends' partners. I care about my friends, but I don't ever think to ask about their partners. whether it's a person they're dating, or one they're set to marry.
    6. A lot of guys can be satisfied with a mattress on the floor, a tv and a fridge with only basic supplies. Anything else is nice-to-have, but not necessary for us to want to spend our entire weekend at home just lounging around.
    7. and of course, we spend years trying different positions to optimize our fart-sounds.

    Crusty_Dingleberries Report

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    #32

    We feel sadness after a break up.

    MikeyBGeek Report

    #33

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That it’s entirely possible to be a perfectly decent guy with social skills and a good heart, yet still struggle to find love.

    I’ve found that, as a man, if you ever say you’re struggling with dating, YOU by default are the problem and people will turn into private investigators trying to find out what’s wrong with you. Maybe you’re unhygienic, or you just don’t groom yourself, or you’re secretly a misogynist. It has to be *something*

    No, that’s not necessarily true. That is called the Just World Fallacy. If you can’t get a date, people will often give you nothing advice like “just take a shower,” assuming that if dating is a struggle for you then you must genuinely be that clueless. There are scores of well put together men that just aren’t finding love for any number of reasons that are out of their control and insinuating that they always must be doing something wrong perpetuates the stigma against people who are single in adulthood. The stigma that they’re single because something is wrong with them.

    I don’t doubt a lot of men have some ridiculous blind spots in the dating world, but based on dating discourse I’ve seen on here, it seems a lot of women think all a man has to do is be a good and fun human being and he’ll be snatched up immediately.

    NawfSideNative , LexScope Report

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    John Cole
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true. Its a lot of pressure to think its always something you are doing wrong. The older I get, the more I think formal dates are quite weird anyway. My wife of 10 years, the best thing when we first met was how little pressure there was. We just hung out and had fun with no judgement, that's how we knew! Every other date I'd been on was just so dang exhausting.

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    #34

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe When we say we're fine we mean it... Alternatively if we say we aren't thinking about anything.

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    #35

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That almost all the s****y things that happen to women at work also happen to men. We get talked over, talked down to, excluded, "mansplained" too, and underpaid as well. The number of times I've heard women complain about this stuff as if it only happens to women is unreal. Maybe it happens more to women, I don't know, but some women seem to believe it literally never happens to men.

    There actually isn't a "boys club" where all the men get together smoke cigars, drink brandy, and discuss how we're going to keep the womenfolk down and rate their b**bs.

    ghostofkilgore , Antoni Shkraba Report

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    #36

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That we don’t care about our appearance. Many of us do and put effort into looking good.

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    #37

    Not all men are obsessed with sports or video games. Many have diverse interests!

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    #38

    That men actually have feelings.

    That men want women to be accountable.

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    #39

    When we say that your makeup looks fine and you spend another 20 minutes applying stuff, we really mean it.

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    Terry Rex
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I say I prefer a woman without makeup I actually MEAN it.

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    #40

    That men aren’t affected by relationship issues as much as women.

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    #41

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe That having a hard on doesn't always mean I want s*x. After 21 years together, my wife still can't get her head around that.

    crimsonavenger77 , MART PRODUCTION Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of us get an erection when we have a full bladder. It makes things really complicated.

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    #42

    We walk around late at night feeling completely safe and carefree.

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wouldn't say that, we just have to fear different things happening to us - Personally I think chances that I'm getting SA'ed are way lower than getting stabbed

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    #43

    Men suffer from domestic abuse at roughly an equal rate to women. They're just much less likely to report it and / or be taken seriously when they do.

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    Heffalump
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there evidence for the 'equal rate'. It's certainly under-reported, but I've never heard anyone seriously claim the numbers are roughly equal, and I don't believe they are.

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    #44

    The idea that men don’t need to talk about their feelings.

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    #45

    Not noticing beauty takes conscious work. I can not help my brain wanting to notice (not stare at, just notice) an attractive woman. I hate that my mind gravitates to that. I'd love to just work out at the gym completely, entirely focused on my workout, or just walk to the next shop in the mall with my next purchase in mind, but if an attractive woman walks past, my damn brain says, "Look real quick. Notice." I don't know if it has to do with a subconscious trait to look for threats that turns into interest or if the unconscious brain is constantly looking to "spread my genes," but I wish I could just look out for threats then focus on what I'm doing.

    Now that the women I hang out with are older (40s), I have had women tell me that they do notice men more, and some are even noticing women, and they can't seem to turn it off. I tell them that's what it's been like for me since I first realized I liked girls.

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    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women have been like this since they started being attracted to people too. This isn't a guy thing.

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    #46

    I feel like I'm always in a position where I'm expected to be the one that should be proving my love to women. Never the other way around. As if women were some kind of reward/trophy.

    I've observed that nearly everywhere. Men have the pressure to actually do something beneficial to the relationship, women don't have that pressure. Women get away with being the "passive" one very often.

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    clairebear
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many men just aren't worth making the effort for, women have been burned. They put everything into a relationship and their reward it either to be taken for granted or cheated on. or both. and in worst cases abused. So yeah, you gotta prove yourself, thank other men for that.

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    #47

    That we are only into our own sexual pleasure. I get so turned on by turning on my wife, especially when she hits the big O.

    That’s been a challenge since our boy was born and my wife had 2nd degree tearing and has since had to start on antidepressants.

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a mental trauma that effects lack of sexual desire after birth, too. It's hard to think of your body like you did pre-birth or even pre-pregnancy. You get scared of re-injuring yourself and becoming pregnant again. Knowing how much destruction birth has wrecked havoc on the body is horrifying and you just don't feel attractive and sexy. You feel like your body is for a child, and children are symbols of innocence and in need of nurturing, and in your mind you don't want to confuse the feeling of sexual pleasure with feeding your baby. It may or may not get better. PPD is also a big part.

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    #48

    Some women do not ask about “what is on your mind”. I know this because I have waited for my wife to say it to use it to say something raunchy.

    # We have been together for NINE years. She has asked me ZERO times “what is on your mind”.

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    #49

    “After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe The dating playing field is not level, it’s just not. Women have the better odds and it doesn’t seem close.

    fridgemanosteel , Good Faces Agency Report

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    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am speaking in generalities here. The best explanation i got for people being frustrated with dating is the following. The Men feel like they don't have options no matter what they try. The women feel like they only have BAD options no matter what they try. They key is to keep a flexible mind and not devolve into negative thinking not matter how many bad examples you got. Because it is more likely that you just got unlucky or have been dating in a toxic place than the whole world being full of toxic ppl. When you devolve into negative thoughts and gender wars that is all you will see. Then it becomes your reality... that women are gold digging cows and men are assaulting bears. if you became one of those people then that is all you will attract too... Since everyone else will move out of the way to more positive things. Sorry for preaching. I mean thanks for attending my ted talk.

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    #50

    I’ve been with my wife for 14 years and just last week I mentioned blue balls and she defiantly exclaimed “blue balls is a myth!”.

    My guess is she learned in school that blue balls isn’t a valid reason for a guy to use as an excuse for sexual acts and she conflated that to meaning blue balls isn’t real at all.

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    #51

    We don't think our differences mean we are "better".

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    #52

    That we are less harmful than a bear.

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    Paula MV
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This statement suggests a misunderstanding of the bear analogy. We know we are in danger with a bear. We can't be sure if we are in danger with men. Unfortunately for many of us, men have assaulted us and often they were men we trusted.

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    #53

    Surprisingly morning wood.

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just the daily check of body functions - and the most annoying one, too

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    #54

    I do not express my emotions the same way as women. Don’t expect me to and don’t get mad when I behave like a man. I live in a house full of women. Just leave me alone.

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd like a bit more info about what op means when he says 'behave like a man'? Because as a man that grew up in a house full of women, I learned to use my words.

    #55

    The Man cold.

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had someone from head office accuse me of having 'Man flu', via the company messaging system. I just replied 'That's a bit sexist.' All of a sudden I've got messages from HR apologising for the 'hurtful comments' I received. A fecking company wide memo has been sent out, sensitivity training invites have gone out... FFS! I wasn't trying to change the world, I just wanted to point out the absurdity of the term. For the record, it was my first sick day in 7 years (I stupidly got covid when the practice was closed, so didn't get to use and sick days).

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    #56

    We can go #1 and #2 at the same time.

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    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that's just relaxing your pelvic floor - but also, we can go #1 and #2 and #3 all at the at the same time. 😜

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    #57

    That we are more privileged than them and that our lives are easier.

    I'm sorry, but no. Them deciding that we have it easier when they haven't lived a minute in our shoes doesn't fly with me.

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    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, but doesn't that mean it works in reverse too which means you can't actually say it's not true?

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    #58

    Men are the most romantic creatures.

    We wrote the most romantic poems, books, songs, movies and anything and everything in between.

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    Heffalump
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We ran the publishing houses that published only male authors, and books by women were by 'a lady' or under a male pseudonym, e.g. George Eliot. Jane Austin is one hell of an outlier.

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    #59

    I wouldn’t say women think this is a lie, but I’ve never met a woman who has a full understanding of the fact that the male orgasm is a biological imperative. That is, if we never have sex and never touch ourselves, our bodies will force us to have an orgasm anyway, in our sleep, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

    No amount of just taking a cold shower and thinking pure thoughts will make our biological imperative go away. When men talk about being horny or needing s*x… this is what we mean. That orgasm is going to happen one way or another. It’s not our “fault.” It’s not because we’re “creeps.” It’s not because “all we think about is s*x.” It’s because our bodies are built this way, and if women find that frustrating or off-putting, they can take it up with the Great Watchmaker.

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    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just isn't true. First of all--having an orgasm in one's sleep is not isolated to males. Women do it too. It is simply a typical part of being a human. Second--it has nothing to do with how much sex someone is or isn't having. There is no proven correlation between masturbating or having sex and how often one will orgasm in their sleep. And even if there were proof that was true--you NEEDING sex is a YOU problem. If your partner isn't in the mood then you have a hand. Your partner does not need to be present for that orgasm that is going to "happen one way or another." This person absolutely sounds like a creep.

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    #60

    Something women believe is a lie, but is actually true. Men are not complicated. We are simple creatures. When we aren't listening, it means we aren't listening. When we are horny, we are horny and you can either be a part of it or we'll take care of it ourselves. We will cuddle after sex for you, not for us.

    If a man doesn't text you as fast as you think is appropriate, it's because we're busy and don't wish to lose focus. Getting annoyed with our lack of communication will only male us not want to communicate.

    Anything we do for a woman is for one goal. Sex. Quid pro quo. I do something for you, I'm expecting something sexual in return.

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    Heffalump
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last para is flat out wrong for most men. What we do for a women is normally for the joy of making her happy. Nothing makes a man feel more manly than 'made mah woman smile'

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