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30 Idealized Behaviors That Are Actually Toxic Traits, Pointed Out By TikTok Users

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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was acting inappropriate, but no one besides you didn’t seem to notice? And you didn’t say anything just because you felt as if it would just make everything worse? This TikTok user @nayaaford asked her followers to share what is something that people find normal or even idealised when it is an example of toxic behaviour. In her video that has 49.6k likes and almost 3.5k comments, she pointed out that one of the examples of toxic behaviour is wanting a “significant other” who is unfriendly and even mean to other people just because this would mean that they are not going to cheat.

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#1

Minimizing your own experience by saying “others have it way worse than you”. No. My feelings are valid regardless of how worse it could be.

jenny_jen_gwen Report

Final score:

270points

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It encouraged more people to share their examples of toxic behaviour in the comment section: overprotected partners who end up being control freaks, covering early abuse signs with “if someone is mean to you, it means they like you”, or blaming one’s bad behaviours or lack of responsibility to their zodiac sign. This endless list shows some ridiculous as well as serious problems that society faces but not really takes into consideration, instead they are simply normalised.

#2

Telling little girls "if hes being mean to you it means he likes you"... no.. just no

im.just.lex Report

Final score:

260points

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#3

Giving men glory for doing all the normal things women do..ie: cleaning, cooking, caring for their own kids, grocery shopping, etc

Final score:

257points

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The virality of the video and the number of comments of this TikTok video showed that people are actually aware of these toxic behaviours. But why then people get along with these situations? Most of them occur in the family and groups of friends. So not saying to your family member or a close friend that they are being unreasonable saves you from a fight that at first seems unnecessary because these people are close to you, so why would they want bad things for you?

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#4

People bragging that they are “brutally honest”. You can be honest without being Brutal.

ifemathis Report

Final score:

253points

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#5

Don't come at me but moms who excessively drink wine to put up with their kids. you'll never convince me it's ok .

stephaniesanders58 Report

Final score:

247points

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#6

OCD. It's not trendy it's an illness.

kirstenkay55 Report

Final score:

243points

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Later all these saved fights turn little annoying behaviours into normalised habits: spitting something upsetting and then calling yourself “brutally honest”, being abusive towards your son’s/daughter’s partner, or spreading toxic positivity when clearly this is not the way to solve an occurring problem.

Do you also find some other things that people say or do to be toxic, or maybe you know an effective way on how to stop this kind of behaviour? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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#7

Giving money to homeless on YouTube. Toxic. You don't need other people to see you doing charitable things for it to be worth doing.

chrislackey4 Report

Final score:

217points

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#8

Toxic positivity... let people feel

carlina013 Report

Final score:

207points

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#9

They use their zodiac sign to justify their actions and anger issues.

jessicag833 Report

Final score:

205points

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#10

Adhd- just because you were late a few times and got distracted by your friends in class doesn't mean you have it. It's not fun and quirky.

jinsglasses Report

Final score:

194points

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#11

Being each other's “everything”. Nah y'all both need lives, family, and friends

Final score:

168points

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#12

"Push yourself till it hurts” when it comes to work, school, physical activities. I don't get paid enough to go over my physical limits.

gracipla Report

Final score:

168points

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#13

Treating trauma/traumatic events as a competition.

melkylemon Report

Final score:

165points

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#14

When the current gfs hate their boyfriends ex's for no other reason but the fact they dated him.

toshaberry1 Report

Final score:

163points

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#15

Mother in law's being abusive towards their son mates it's normal in so many cultures and it's NEVER OKAY

kompletekunt Report

Final score:

161points

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#16

Men not taking care of their children because they have a new woman in their life

forbiddengoddess222 Report

Final score:

156points

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#17

The whole “respect your elders” where I agree, you should show respect but there is a lot of disrespectful elderly and people in general who don't

idothisfor_fun Report

Final score:

148points

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#18

But we got a baby together so we gotta stay together

ladyv5055 Report

Final score:

146points

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#19

Overprotective partners - your partner should trust your judgment enough to let you stand up for yourself or ask for their help when it's needed

kimfarrell19 Report

Final score:

136points

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#20

Hustle culture for me. Would rather have a good paying 9-5 than 3 entrepreneural "hustles"

tiffasar Report

Final score:

129points

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#21

People romanticise "being crazy" in relationships. "Yeah she's so crazy, she deleted every girl off my Facebook, she's so crazy I love her though

maddie_b_wraps Report

Final score:

129points

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#22

Friendzoning! setting boundaries in friendships should be okay. no one owes you getting into a relationship

childofjupiter Report

Final score:

129points

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#23

Going through your partners phone

kaylaween Report

Final score:

127points

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#24

Possessive partners

izzleoml Report

Final score:

118points

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#25

The ‘psycho' girlfriend. There's a difference between boundaries and control/abuse

autumnrose_tv Report

Final score:

116points

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#26

The concept of forgiveness nowadays is just "oh yeah they hurt you and u prob have trauma u will deal with forever but just forgive and move on" um no

berna.os Report

Final score:

115points

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#27

When people talk about beating there kids or scaring there kids

Final score:

110points

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#28

I don't know if this is toxic but people think that because two people have been together for years their relationship is perfect and healthy.

i_dont_even_know104 Report

Final score:

102points

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#29

Any beauty standards

liaisstoned Report

Final score:

101points

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#30

Couples that take pride in being each other's only friends and spend ALL their time together. It's good to be separate from your partner sometimes

vryan124 Report

Final score:

98points

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#31

For kids-he picks on her cause he likes her.

dwolf2001 Report

Final score:

45points

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#32

Hyper independence when really its just unaddressed childhood or other past trauma

26tiff_tiff Report

Final score:

45points

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#33

Alcoholism

clique_hole Report

Final score:

42points

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#34

Befriending the kid that's alone out of pity. Bruh sometimes they just don't like the environment or people

itstimetogobye Report

Final score:

39points

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#35

Being petty, people wear it as a badge of honor. You can have boundaries so people don't overstep but being petty is usually just extreme immaturity.

j_can_can Report

Final score:

37points

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#36

Anger issues

saratapai Report

Final score:

35points

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#37

Drinking because you are stressed or overwhelmed.

alyybotelho Report

Final score:

33points

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#38

Having no feelings and not wanting to admit when you actually care or when something is actually affecting you

sorrymio Report

Final score:

32points

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#39

People bragging about having no boundaries like how their bestfriends just show up in their rooms with no notice like some ppl need boundaries

user22222222848487383 Report

Final score:

28points

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#40

Standing by a partner when they are unwilling to better themselves and their life situation

alwaysatthemarina Report

Final score:

27points

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#41

Being a ride or die

stylemealiya Report

Final score:

26points

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#42

The idea your friends owe you so much more than they really do... let people be independent and live their lives. Be a good friend but don't be clingy

user22222222848487383 Report

Final score:

24points

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#43

Abuse in POC homes

valenciapari Report

Final score:

22points

POLARBEARLUVER 3 years ago

what is a POC home ?

13points

blue 3 years ago

poc is people of color, for example the stereotypes of "the abusive mexican mother" or "the violent asian parents when a kid gets a B in math"

13points

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A 3 years ago

It honestly makes me sad when I hear my friends (who are POC) say "Oh no! My mom would bring the belt and beat me if I did that!" No child should ever be hit by their parents, regardless of whether it is a POC home or not. Abuse is abuse.

3points

Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago

Abuse in ALL homes.

2points

pancake 3 years ago

this one right here ^^^^ basically every POC i've met have fond memories of getting hit by our parents

2points

Michelle M 3 years ago

I'm from an African family. No, my mum neither hurls abuses at us nor hits us with slippers

1point

Dawn Sardella-Ayres 3 years ago

It's been played for laughs in sitcoms for decades.

1point

Charlotte A. 3 years ago

Is it glamorised? and isn't abuse a bad thing in ALL homes? Seems an odd point to make...

0points

Batwench Premium 3 years ago

Abuse in any homes.

0points

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#44

Maladaptive Daydreaming- its not cute and fun, you miss out on ur life and become extremely dependent on it. you also can't turn it off its alwys on

raccoonjoe2 Report

Final score:

21points

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#45

Not texting people back that you like

richputa420 Report

Final score:

21points

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#46

Having multiple partners /cheating

dischargespecialist Report

Final score:

18points

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#47

Not texting people back that you like

richputa420 Report

Final score:

-21points

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Lukas Garnelis

Lukas is a photo editor at Bored Panda. 4th year in Vilnius Gediminas Technical University as a graphic designer. Can do whatever he sets his mind to.

Lukas is a photo editor at Bored Panda. 4th year in Vilnius Gediminas Technical University as a graphic designer. Can do whatever he sets his mind to.

Konstancija Gasaitytė

Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking.

Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking.

What do you think ?

Murple 3 years ago (edited)

Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.

27points

juice 3 years ago

it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.

17points

Load More Replies...

Anonymous Bunny 3 years ago

when i was SIX my dad made me record a video saying that i wouldn't get a boyfriend until i'm 18. i'm just now realizing how messed up that is

3points

Murple 3 years ago

https://twitter.com/thesarahyork/status/1376709684699099137 not my twitter, but I found a picture of this exact thing. Also wouldnt let me put the pic in the original comment. stopplayin...a756b8.jpg

1point

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

My dad wasn't joking was the problem....

0points

Don't Look 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Oliver Parker 3 years ago

I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.

15points

juice 3 years ago

mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles

10points

Load More Replies...

Draco Malfoy 3 years ago

Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.

13points

Lea S. 3 years ago

Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.

8points

HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago (edited)

Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder

5points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....

1point

Load More Replies...

Don't Look 3 years ago

started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".

3points

Emiri-chan 3 years ago

Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car

2points

Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago

Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?

2points

Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago

Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.

0points

CeeJay 3 years ago

So... it's taken years for this to be put out there and as usual it has to be "on trend" to make it the truth for you to be taken serious! I have said OCD is serious along with mental health for decades! Social media has power no joke! It's not a TREND!

0points

Steve 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Brett Connor 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Murple 3 years ago (edited)

Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.

27points

juice 3 years ago

it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.

17points

Load More Replies...

Anonymous Bunny 3 years ago

when i was SIX my dad made me record a video saying that i wouldn't get a boyfriend until i'm 18. i'm just now realizing how messed up that is

3points

Murple 3 years ago

https://twitter.com/thesarahyork/status/1376709684699099137 not my twitter, but I found a picture of this exact thing. Also wouldnt let me put the pic in the original comment. stopplayin...a756b8.jpg

1point

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

My dad wasn't joking was the problem....

0points

Don't Look 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Oliver Parker 3 years ago

I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.

15points

juice 3 years ago

mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles

10points

Load More Replies...

Draco Malfoy 3 years ago

Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.

13points

Lea S. 3 years ago

Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.

8points

HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago (edited)

Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder

5points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....

1point

Load More Replies...

Don't Look 3 years ago

started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".

3points

Emiri-chan 3 years ago

Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car

2points

Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago

Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?

2points

Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago

Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.

0points

CeeJay 3 years ago

So... it's taken years for this to be put out there and as usual it has to be "on trend" to make it the truth for you to be taken serious! I have said OCD is serious along with mental health for decades! Social media has power no joke! It's not a TREND!

0points

Steve 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Brett Connor 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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