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30 Idealized Behaviors That Are Actually Toxic Traits, Pointed Out By TikTok Users
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was acting inappropriate, but no one besides you didn’t seem to notice? And you didn’t say anything just because you felt as if it would just make everything worse? This TikTok user @nayaaford asked her followers to share what is something that people find normal or even idealised when it is an example of toxic behaviour. In her video that has 49.6k likes and almost 3.5k comments, she pointed out that one of the examples of toxic behaviour is wanting a “significant other” who is unfriendly and even mean to other people just because this would mean that they are not going to cheat.
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#1
Minimizing your own experience by saying “others have it way worse than you”. No. My feelings are valid regardless of how worse it could be.
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
There's a balance here, though; you need to feel like your feelings are valid, but you also need perspective. too much either way is bad.
It encouraged more people to share their examples of toxic behaviour in the comment section: overprotected partners who end up being control freaks, covering early abuse signs with “if someone is mean to you, it means they like you”, or blaming one’s bad behaviours or lack of responsibility to their zodiac sign. This endless list shows some ridiculous as well as serious problems that society faces but not really takes into consideration, instead they are simply normalised.
#2
Telling little girls "if hes being mean to you it means he likes you"... no.. just no
#3
Giving men glory for doing all the normal things women do..ie: cleaning, cooking, caring for their own kids, grocery shopping, etc
kennedy1209 3 years ago
I realize I am in the minority here - But I actually hate that it is assumed that my wife does all of those things and gets all the glory, when I am the one who does them all.
The virality of the video and the number of comments of this TikTok video showed that people are actually aware of these toxic behaviours. But why then people get along with these situations? Most of them occur in the family and groups of friends. So not saying to your family member or a close friend that they are being unreasonable saves you from a fight that at first seems unnecessary because these people are close to you, so why would they want bad things for you?
#4
People bragging that they are “brutally honest”. You can be honest without being Brutal.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
most of the time, they just want to be brutal. the honesty is just coincidental
#5
Don't come at me but moms who excessively drink wine to put up with their kids. you'll never convince me it's ok .
#6
OCD. It's not trendy it's an illness.
Later all these saved fights turn little annoying behaviours into normalised habits: spitting something upsetting and then calling yourself “brutally honest”, being abusive towards your son’s/daughter’s partner, or spreading toxic positivity when clearly this is not the way to solve an occurring problem.
Do you also find some other things that people say or do to be toxic, or maybe you know an effective way on how to stop this kind of behaviour? Share your thoughts in the comments!
#7
Giving money to homeless on YouTube. Toxic. You don't need other people to see you doing charitable things for it to be worth doing.
#8
Toxic positivity... let people feel
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
people who are upbeat and positive all the time tend to irritate me
#9
They use their zodiac sign to justify their actions and anger issues.
#10
Adhd- just because you were late a few times and got distracted by your friends in class doesn't mean you have it. It's not fun and quirky.
Bird lover 3 years ago
YES don't just self-diagnose because you daydream. Tell me once a professional diagnoses you bitch
#11
Being each other's “everything”. Nah y'all both need lives, family, and friends
#12
"Push yourself till it hurts” when it comes to work, school, physical activities. I don't get paid enough to go over my physical limits.
#13
Treating trauma/traumatic events as a competition.
#14
When the current gfs hate their boyfriends ex's for no other reason but the fact they dated him.
#15
Mother in law's being abusive towards their son mates it's normal in so many cultures and it's NEVER OKAY
#16
Men not taking care of their children because they have a new woman in their life
#17
The whole “respect your elders” where I agree, you should show respect but there is a lot of disrespectful elderly and people in general who don't
#19
Overprotective partners - your partner should trust your judgment enough to let you stand up for yourself or ask for their help when it's needed
#20
Hustle culture for me. Would rather have a good paying 9-5 than 3 entrepreneural "hustles"
#21
People romanticise "being crazy" in relationships. "Yeah she's so crazy, she deleted every girl off my Facebook, she's so crazy I love her though
#22
Friendzoning! setting boundaries in friendships should be okay. no one owes you getting into a relationship
#23
Going through your partners phone
cookie panda 3 years ago
this is actually rlly disrespectful and disgusting. m8, if they let you use their phone its bc they trust you. don't exploit that.
Thay 3 years ago
I find it incredibly disrespectful to every contact in that persons phone. I have a sibling who has an SO that thinks this is acceptable relationship standards but its seriously gross. I dont like texting my sibling, I always call. I have even warned family to be careful of what they text too because this person is reading all of these private conversations like they are theirs
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denzoren 3 years ago
There is literally nothing incriminating on my phone...just games, pics of animals, pics of my car, messages from my friends and a lot of memes. Lol. I wouldn't like for it to be investigated though, that'll cause trust issues. I'll openly show you wants on there if you want.
Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
I forgot who said, "If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve" but that's spot on
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Hetal Vyas 3 years ago
My ex would do this, to see how many guys I'm friends with and who I spoke to. I never should have been with him.
Masen Silas 3 years ago
I really think this depends. Husband and I go through everything together, his phone, my tablet but were pretty boring people and in open relationships so shrug
Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
This gets back to those who put up with possessiveness, co dependence and abuse and think it means "but they LOVE me!" On the other hand, if you have to snoop and look at phone calls and texts then there's a lot more going on than you'll fix by looking at the phone or texts. It's not a game, it's a trust issue.
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Susan Widomski 3 years ago
You are asking for trouble if you invade another's privacy no matter the instance. Whether mail or media, you may find something that damages your relationship forever. Don't do it.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
My parents check my phone so I am really guarded around my phone. Everyone thinks it's because I have something to hide, I don't, it's just that I value my privacy. I trust my girlfriend with my phone though, she's one of the only people whos allowed to touch it.
bxttery_bxby 3 years ago
I mean, I'm all about trusting people in a relationship and whatever, but if you can trust me enough to the point where you have to worry about what's on my phone, sorry but things are over.
#25
The ‘psycho' girlfriend. There's a difference between boundaries and control/abuse
#26
The concept of forgiveness nowadays is just "oh yeah they hurt you and u prob have trauma u will deal with forever but just forgive and move on" um no
beavis 3 years ago
Yeah like my ex friends beat me up ( I had bruises) I got horrible anxiety that they would stab me while I was outside bc my mum asked me to go to the store, after the weekend one of them ( didn't even apologise) asked if we could be friends again and I said no bc they beat me caused me pain and anxiety and made me scared to go outside
#27
When people talk about beating there kids or scaring there kids
#28
I don't know if this is toxic but people think that because two people have been together for years their relationship is perfect and healthy.
#29
Any beauty standards
#30
Couples that take pride in being each other's only friends and spend ALL their time together. It's good to be separate from your partner sometimes
What do you think ?
Murple 3 years ago (edited)
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
juice 3 years ago
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
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Oliver Parker 3 years ago
I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
juice 3 years ago
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
Load More Replies...
Draco Malfoy 3 years ago
Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Lea S. 3 years ago
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago (edited)
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
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Don't Look 3 years ago
started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Emiri-chan 3 years ago
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.
Murple 3 years ago (edited)
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
juice 3 years ago
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
Load More Replies... Oliver Parker 3 years ago
I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
juice 3 years ago
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
Load More Replies... Draco Malfoy 3 years ago
Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Lea S. 3 years ago
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago (edited)
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
Load More Replies... Don't Look 3 years ago
started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Emiri-chan 3 years ago
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.
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