40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes

The term “toxic relationship” was first coined by Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert in 1995. She defined it as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Today, we hear of it more often than ever. You may wonder what on earth happened that so many of us struggle to have healthy relationships, but it’s always best to listen to those who have been in such situations and experienced what it’s like in the first place.

So when the Redditor SputtleBug posted a question “What is the most ridiculous thing a partner has asked you to change about yourself?” on r/AskWomen, it seems like it hit close to the bone for many women in the community. So they shared their genuinely disturbing experiences that show just how lethal and wrong some relationships are and remind everyone that we don’t ever have to put up with it.

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He wanted me to get rid of my pets, if I was reeeeaaally good though, he could be okay with me keeping my dog. Nope! Got rid of him instead.

Aouwi , Chewy Report

Final score:

417points

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KJ 2 years ago

The correct choice, I wish I could have pets again.

107points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes The amount of men that ask me to come off antidepressants because "don't I make you happy enough without the pills" Lord give me patience

PandaConspiracy4000 , Nastya Dulhiier Report

Final score:

344points

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Cecily Holland 2 years ago

That would be a deal breaker for me. One wanted me off meds that I need to stay alive. He was my ex the next day.

168points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes Said I used "too many big words" and he just wanted to be able to "relax" more. Criticized my tv and movie preferences as being too "cerebral." Also told me I was too "analytical" in how I liked to solve problems. Now I have an MA and JD, and married a tech millionaire with a Ph.D. in theoretical physics, so looks like my preference for cerebral entertainment and big words paid off.

FuzzyJury , Jonathan Daniels Report

Final score:

343points

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Brunettechameleon 2 years ago

Good for you. Success is the best revenge or something idk the whole quote you get it.

74points

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Bored Panda reached out to SputtleBug, the author of this thread on r/AskWomen who said that they feel like everyone males and females alike receive societal pressure but the reasons are different.

"In my experience, the standards for women are often focused on physical appearance and reproduction while the standards for men are mainly focused on other things like careers and behavior, there’s still a pretty strong expectation for men to be extremely masculine," SputtleBug commented.

She continued: "We no longer live in the 1950s but the expectations we had then for men and women remain relatively the same now. Although the standards may have been created by men it’s had to have been backed by many women which is the main reason they’ve been allowed to perpetuate. Granted this seems to have changed significantly in the last few years but the start to change, is in most cases, slow."

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My ex asked me to stop being depressed after we lost our daughter

Fairy-goddess999 , Rae Angela Report

Final score:

321points

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ZAPanda 2 years ago

that is disgusting.

164points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes Asked me to be more "agreeable" and not discuss feminist issues in his presence. This winner also told me I needed to lose about 40 pounds because women shouldn't weigh more than 120. For context, I'm 5'9" and at the time was wearing a size 6. I noped out of that relationship pretty quick.

lost_throwaway_3326 , NeONBRAND Report

Final score:

295points

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Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago

Good for you!

74points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes It wasn't a long term thing, we had been dating for a few months at the time. He didn't ask me to change specifically but he was upset when he found out I was born in Romania. I was adopted by an American family when I was two and have lived in the US for the vast majority of my life. I barely remember anything about Romania.

He couldn't see himself with someone like me because I wasn't actually white. So he broke up with me. It was pretty shocking, I had no idea he had this massively racist side to him. He did me a favor.

Admirable-Candy3294 , Naomi Suzuki Report

Final score:

275points

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Martha Meyer 2 years ago

On which planet are Romanians "not white"? This dude couldn't even get his racism right.

282points

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The author of this thread also said that while some of the responses she received were indeed surprising, other comments consisted of "things like losing weight, changing their aesthetic/clothing style, changing their personality that were the most common."

Sputtlebug believes that many people end up in toxic relationships and it's a common occurrence for all sexes but not one frequently talks about it.

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes I’m very pale, so pale that you can see the blue of my veins throughout most of my body. A boyfriend I had about ten years ago asked if there was “anything I could do to get rid of them?” I had to explain that no, I had a circulatory system and very much wanted to remain alive

calcitemerged , Coline Haslé Report

Final score:

274points

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Dill 2 years ago

Same. People say to me 'you're so pale!'. I often wonder if they think I'd not noticed? 🤔🤔🤔 I usually respond 'AM I???' in tones of utter shock and horror!

130points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes I'm mixed half Indian half German and he asked to suppress my Indian side and culture cuz he "only dated me cuz at least I'm half"

Successful-Painter87 , Deva Darshan Report

Final score:

253points

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XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago

I can't even begin to process this level of stupidity

150points

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He asked me to pretend I wasn’t in pain when I was.

I have endometriosis and if I’m dating you, you will have an up-close and personal seat into the life of someone with a chronic pain condition.

Now, I don’t complain a lot about it, it’s just a fact of my life, and I came to terms with it a long time ago. So when my ex-fiancé got “fed up” with me “being sick all the time,” I told him I can’t act healthy all the time when I’m sometimes in debilitating pain….and he said, “Can’t you fake it?”

schmicklebutt , Yuris Alhumaydy Report

Final score:

242points

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Brunettechameleon 2 years ago (edited)

“Can’t YOU fake being smart?”

142points

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Sputtlebug said that "it was definitely a learning experience, I didn’t really walk into this with any expectations in mind. It was a curious cat moment if that makes sense. Some of the comments made me laugh but a lot of the responses were demoralizing at best and heartbreaking at their worst."

"Overall I’m glad it was a moment for people to talk about something that maybe isn’t comfortable or okay for them to talk about with their friends and family," she concluded.

#10

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My former spouse asked me to move my period because it fell on his three day weekend and he refused to have sex with me when I was "broken" so that was a real bummer for him. I suggested that he ask one of the other guys to swap with him but he wouldn't even ask and I suspect it's because he knew noone liked him enough

tooterfish80 , Anthony Tran Report

Final score:

238points

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Roxy Eastland 2 years ago

Ha, for a moment I thought 'I suggested that he ask one of the other guys to swap with him' meant to have sex with her during a period and I thought that was a brilliant idea. I have literally zero time with men that can't cope with a normally functioning human body.

231points

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#11

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes To go off birth control. At 16. Not because he wanted to try getting me pregnant (we weren’t even having sex) but because “knowing that I wasn’t technically fertile made me seem less feminine.” Not to mention I was on it for debilitating cramps.

fliffers , Thought Catalog Report

Final score:

225points

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Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago

PSA: he totally wanted to get her pregnant.

158points

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#12

My ex didn’t necessarily ask me to change this because he knew it was impossible, but he had a serious problem with me being white. Said he was “betraying his culture” by being with me.

I can’t begin to understand the struggle of being a black person in the US, but it makes zero sense to pursue me so hard and then hate that I’m white. Not like that was something I kept hidden that came out later.

booksandarrows Report

Final score:

221points

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Tobias Rieper 2 years ago (edited)

that just makes zero sense to me its not like he found out she was a guy or that she was secretly 3 cats in a human suit or something like that like OP said its not something hidden

83points

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#13

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes I dye my hair a lot, this is something I’ve always taken pride in and I LOVE my hair. My ex, on the other hand told me I wouldn’t meet his parents until I got rid of the crazy colors. I never met the parents.

Clementinecutie13 , Tommy van Kessel Report

Final score:

214points

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Helenium 2 years ago

i know its a stock foto but i love that hair

107points

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#14

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes Me having Asperger’s, and he was a doctor too. When we started dating he was obsessed with how I was ‘the smartest person he’d ever met’ then he tried to get me off my meds because he didn’t believe in them and didn’t understand sensory meltdowns, then when we broke up he said “I tried to fix you but I failed’ lol ok ‘doctor’ good luck with that cure for autism

ariz0napi3z , Usman Yousaf Report

Final score:

211points

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Ross Warren 2 years ago

What kind of doctor doesn't believe in medication?

115points

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#15

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He wanted me to be shorter. I'm 5'1. He literally wanted me to hunch my shoulders and only wear f**king flats all the time. He was 5'3 and insecure

gator--wave , Apostolos Vamvouras Report

Final score:

207points

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KJ 2 years ago

Kick him in the nuts a few times and he might end up 5'4, problem solved.

150points

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#16

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My ex-bf wanted me to get tattoos, get gauges, pierce my nipples, and start doing a lot of drugs because iTd Be So hOt. He also wanted me to change my demeanor from upbeat to brooding and moody. That kind of happened naturally with him anyways because he was so soul-suckingly awful to be around.

petite-crevette , Jessica Christian Report

Final score:

200points

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whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago

Reminds me of my father trying to pressure me into being feminine and ladylike, telling me I'd actually be pretty if I wore dresses and makeup.

89points

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#17

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My ex told me I needed to start pretending I didn't understand things even when I did, bc "men like explaining things to women". The ex before him basically told me I was malfunctioning bc I didn't want to be a SAHM, and he asked me to never fart in front of him bc "women don't poop".

Lumpy_Constellation , Headway Report

Final score:

185points

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Brunettechameleon 2 years ago

🤦‍♀️

63points

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#18

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My religion. He verbally assaulted me when I said I didn’t want to convert to Islam. He did a lot worse, but that’s where the abuse began.

sarah-exalted , Abdullah Faraz Report

Final score:

179points

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Atero 2 years ago

Practicing religious individuals should be avoided like a plague. They are beyond reasoning and sooner or later they will try to push their personal delusions on everybody else. Good for you it's over...

51points

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#19

My job. He didn't want me working around a "bunch of dudes just trying to f**k you" I'm a welder still 10 years later lol

thegurlearl Report

Final score:

176points

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Susie Elle 2 years ago

This just shows what he thought of his female coworkers

111points

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#20

Told me I was too anxious and depressed, and I just needed to be “happy” lol I was on birth control for him too (refused to wear a condom) which caused a lot of these mental health issues. After breaking up, got off the pill + the lack of his presence in my life made me significantly happier. Also, he told me I couldn’t take a joke even though his “jokes” were degrading and humiliating me in front of his friends.

lunarhoe411 Report

Final score:

175points

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Debbie Barnes 2 years ago

The fact that you became 'significantly happier' after breaking up, showed you who was to blame for your insecurities. Good on you for having the courage to walk away.

84points

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#21

I have long, thick, dark brown hair, great condition, I have never dyed it and it's probably my favourite feature. I get a lot of compliments on it.

My ex would always suggest I dye it blonde.

If you like blondes, date a blonde. Dumba**

caffeinatedsince97 Report

Final score:

175points

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Yeah, you heard 2 years ago

My ex had exactly the same request of me. I never dyed it. He was a dickhead

42points

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#22

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes The way I walk (I "walk too loudly") and the way my face looks when I read books. Apparently, I was supposed to smile all the time.

Just having a nice smile reading All Quiet on the Western Front.

chickpeaze , Siora Photography Report

Final score:

172points

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Jaekry 2 years ago

This is a new low. Walk to loudly? Have a testing smile face? Makes me wonder what a twat he was.

46points

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#23

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He wanted me to distance myself from my family mainly because he wasn't close to his family and didn't have that kind of support.

He picked me up on Thanksgiving to have lunch with his mom. He promised we would go together to my family's Thanksgiving at dinner. Evening rolled around and he proclaimed he was too tired to go and refused to drive me the whole 25 minutes to my grandpa's house. When I didn't show up my family freaked out and my siblings came to get me. My brother asked my boyfriend what happened and he couldn't come up with an answer other than he was tired. Later he posted online my brother tried to fight him haha. Dumped him that night! I would have left him sooner, but I was young and dumb!

wandwish , krakenimages Report

Final score:

161points

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Mimi La Souris 2 years ago

and the whole family then pushed a secret Aaaaaaah of relief

58points

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#24

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He didn’t want me to cry. Ever. “The women in my family would never cry unless their arm was being sawed off at the time.” Twenty some years later I realized he should have married his sister

sqqueen , Luis Galvez Report

Final score:

157points

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Marcellus II 2 years ago

The men in his family however, a hissy fit at nothing.

79points

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#25

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes Him: You shouldn't wear makeup;

Me: Why, what's the problem? Lots of women wear makeup;

Him: My mom doesn't

sof-i-a , pure julia Report

Final score:

153points

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Nor 2 years ago

Then let him date his mom

132points

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#26

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My college boyfriend said I could "stand to lose a few". I wish he could see me now..I am so much fatter lol. No, but really I looked great and he was a dweeb.

yournationaltreasure , Siora Photography Report

Final score:

150points

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Ren Karlej 2 years ago

I worked with a very lonely but seemingly nice enough man. There was a lovely friendly woman where we worked who was a little overweight and I suggested he ask her out (I was in a long term relationship to a man I since married). He said 'I don't like fat women'. Yeah - ignore how kind and funny she is... 🙄 (She was also far from ugly but that's beside the point). She is married with children and he is... still alone. Surprise!! Though he has spent years stalking me so I've no sympathy.

75points

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#27

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes "You're too nice, you need to stop that." Said every time I gave money or food to a panhandler or charity, any time I expressed compassion for someone who wasn't him, and especially when we were watching George W Bush's invasion of Iraq and I was horrified at all the Iraqi people dying.

insertcaffeine , Jon Tyson Report

Final score:

150points

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ZAPanda 2 years ago (edited)

sorry but you need to use the following opening line when dating: republican, nazi, or maga-hat? -> if yes, kick to the kerb.

45points

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#28

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He thought my laugh could be more "ladylike," because as long as I had a witch cackle he wouldn't "be able to take me anywhere high-class."

He was flat broke at the time and I was paying for everything. I also sound different depending on how hard I'm laughing, so it's not like I had to break out the witch laugh at all these imaginary restaurants and balls we were totally going to attend. Didn't matter, he wanted me to train myself out of it anyway

mylatestphase , Victoria Quirk Report

Final score:

142points

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Monday 2 years ago

Please tell me your response was to let out the loudest cackle you've ever done in your life

91points

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#29

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My last partner tried to make me change my willingness to be cheated on. She thought I should be "open to the idea"

coolaira16 , OSPAN ALI Report

Final score:

141points

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BlackestDawn 2 years ago

I could understand if they asked for being open to a polyamorous, polygamous, or open relationship but not open to the idea of being cheated on. Cheating is never ok regardless of the relationship type.

84points

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#30

My body.

I'm 5'5 and naturally thin, but I didn't have muscle at the time. I had been looking to start going to the gym though, so I agreed to go with her. I'd always played sports so I looked forward to being active again. I wanted to gain strength.

She had a gym addiction and her type was pretty much strictly fit people. She's straight up said she wouldn't date an overweight/fat person because they wouldn't be "healthy" (disgusting mindset). She was pretty much trying to mold me to fit her "type" exactly. Including down to my diet which I had to tell her outright to shut the f**k up about what I ate (You can pry ice cream out of my cold, dead hands).

That relationship did not last long. But I feel very vindicated in the fact that I reached her fitness goals in half the time she did just because I genuinely enjoy working out. It helps my mood and ADHD symptoms.

I couldn't care less what I look like as long as my body feels healthy and strong. I have a 4 pack of abs and hella strength now. And my current beautiful, thick, strong af girlfriend very much loves my body for what it is regardless of whether it's "fit" or not.

lynn378 Report

Final score:

140points

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ShriSha Kamboj 2 years ago

v need to learn to accept people the way they r...n not mold them like clay into the shape we want.......

29points

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#31

My first bf had a problem with me wearing super trendy colourful clothes. "why can't you just wear jeans and a black tee? Why can't you just wear black clothes?"

It annoyed him that people would look at me when we went to malls. It got to a point where if he was picking me up, he'd call and ask "are you ready? Send me a pic of what you're wearing. If it's pink or orange, change into black. If it's a skirt, wear jeans". He made me promise not to wear my favorite deep purple corduroys. He didn't realise that it wasn't the clothes that people looked at me for. I was a loud, outgoing teen with a bubbly personality. THAT'S what made me attract a bit of attention. He hated when people looked at me at all. Even older women who have stopped me to compliment my style or hair.

He's changed in the 10 years since and we're still good friends. He agrees he'd been the jealous type and hated all my friends and hated how much attention I got. He's grown now. And is a much better human being and an amazing friend.

reddit Report

Final score:

137points

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Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago

I'm rather glad to hear he has grown and turned into a great friend.

100points

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#32

My ex boyfriend was very worried about the hair on my upper lip. Now that I’m years out of that relationship, I realize I don’t have an extremely hair upper lip and the memory of his obsession over that makes me so mad. One time when we were kissing, I thought we were having a nice moment, but he pulled away and ran his finger over my upper lip and said “you need to get that fixed.” When I went to the salon to have it waxed, the esthetician told me, unprompted, that she thought I was wasting my money getting my upper lip waxed because it wasn’t hairy. I really just think he just wanted to make me feel bad about myself.

MeanLawLady Report

Final score:

130points

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Yoga Kitty 2 years ago

Reminds me of the "body odour" post here on Bored Panda - another guy who was taught by his daddy to keep the woman small and insecure so that she will not leave him?

100points

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#33

My life goals. Before I realized I was playing for the other team, the dude just decided, on his own, that we were going to have children and I was going to be his somehow always scantily clad housewife, despite me saying several times I'm never, * ever * having children, and I'll be doing bare necessities housework because I got s**t to do before I go to the grave.

BrainForSale_Unused Report

Final score:

125points

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Susie Elle 2 years ago (edited)

Sounds like the dude in his head was living in a bad porno

49points

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#34

He had a time limit for conversations. But it only applied when I was speaking or the subject had to do with me.

Did not matter if I was happy, sad, upset, worried, excited. Time limit on it.

And I am talking minutes for me to share things.

Communication was a joke, yet he repeatedly bragged about what a great communicator he was

ShadesOfCerulean Report

Final score:

123points

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Billie Templeton 2 years ago

Have you met my ex?

32points

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#35

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My whole personality. This dude (admittedly very shallow looking back but I was so naive then) told me straight up that I was cute but I’d be better off without the personality because “it’s a bit much.” He didn’t like that I liked to laugh and joke around and such. He basically wanted me to just become an accessory. Shut up and look pretty. Yeah nah I got tf outta there

hauntedmilktea , Toa Heftiba Report

Final score:

118points

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Paula Marowsky 2 years ago

Bet HE really looks better when he shut up

46points

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#36

An ex asked me to stop saying sorry all the time. I'm sorry, but I'm Canadian and I cannot help it.

ParallelPerson8790 Report

Final score:

115points

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Debbie Barnes 2 years ago

If he can't accept you for traits you have, then he's not the one for you. Our traits and personalities make us who we are and I've spent way too many years not being me, to please others.. Dump him and wait for the person who loves you entirely. :)

23points

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#37

He told me my taste in music was awful, and that I should only listen to the most talented musicians in styles I was learning. He trained me to listen to music only for work, never for fun, and would turn off the stereo if I was listening to something like pop music for fun in the car. We're both professional musicians. You'd think it would be impossible to ruin music for a musician. That was 10 years ago, and I still have intense anxiety about choosing music, and listening to music around other people.

rubusursinus Report

Final score:

115points

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Kristy Nelson 2 years ago

That is awful!

52points

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#38

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes Her words exactly “You need to stop being bi sexual! I understand it’s who you are but it doesn’t work for me and I really want to be with you” total cringe!! Needless to say, we aren’t together anymore.

Visual_Blackberry_24 , Teddy Österblom Report

Final score:

114points

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H Edwards 2 years ago

Bisexual people really have to put up with a lot of sh*t. Either it's people not believing that they are really bi (like, pick a side kind of thing), or it's being rejected by both gay and straight people because they don't want to date someone who is bi.

74points

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#39

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes How much time it took me to have an orgasm lol. Like as if it's in my control.

Thin-Commercial-2380 , Kinga Cichewicz Report

Final score:

113points

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Roxy Eastland 2 years ago

There are many men out there that enjoy the journey, no need to stick around with one that finds it a chore.

91points

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#40

My past. He was appalled to find out an ex of mine was Jewish.

PeacefulTofu Report

Final score:

113points

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ZAPanda 2 years ago

So many nazis on this post, quite incredible.

72points

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#41

He told me if we ever got married and had kids I would have to be the stay at home parent… the person who went through 6 years of higher education, had a stable well paying career, and bomb a** health insurance…. He was a photographer.

4inAM_2atNoon_3inPM Report

Final score:

51points

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Cecily Holland 2 years ago

Byeeeee

20points

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#42

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes My now ex, told me I peed too loudly when I first woke up in the morning and it disgusted him

little_splinters , 99.films Report

Final score:

49points

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ZAPanda 2 years ago

tell him his voice disgusts you.

21points

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#43

He said he couldn’t support my decision to go to nursing school because his ex was a nurse and she struggled a lot through school. Plus he also wanted to travel.

I dumped him during that conversation. Became a nurse and I’ve traveled more than he has.

apickledcucumber Report

Final score:

49points

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Skitty 2 years ago

Guess what, now you got 2 ex’s that are nurses.

11points

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#44

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes He wanted me to get bigger boobs. I’m happy with my B cup thank you a**hole. I dumped his a**.

Egyptianqueen123 , Giulia Bertelli Report

Final score:

48points

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Shanaaia 2 years ago

NEVER change yor body for somebody else!

24points

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#45

He kept insisting that I socialize more with strangers. Like we would be ordering drinks in a beach bar and he would insist that I make small talk with these two random girls who were also ordering. Like idgaf about small talk with strangers, stop forcing me! Ugh

I-am-L Report

Final score:

48points

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Helen Haley 2 years ago

There's a guy angling long-term for a threesome.

40points

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#46

I once had a guy who I wasn’t even dating ask me if I shaved down there. We had exchanged numbers and were “talking” but this question still threw me off. I answered honestly and told him I shave, but I don’t shave it all off and he was appalled and said, “Oh I don’t know if I’d like going down on you if you weren’t completely bare.” Ummmm who said you were ever going to see my vagina? Needless to say, he never did!

Natsouppy Report

Final score:

46points

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Helen Haley 2 years ago

Apparently, men have no idea just how uncomfortable pubic hair maintenance can be. Ingrown hairs, razor or wax burns, the list goes one. All in an area with constant rubbing that you're expected to sit on. They either don't know or don't care.

34points

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#47

My ex husband told me that I wasn't a real women because I didn't wear heels or style my hair or wear make up or dress up.

Emptyplates Report

Final score:

45points

POST

whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago

My father has said things like this to me.

13points

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#48

Dated a girl who wanted me to be “more masculine” cos she thought I looked more attractive that way. Got rid of her. Dated a trans man who wanted me to be “more feminine.” Got rid of him too. I’m non-binary and how I choose to dress is for me and not them.

tiredofyobulls**t Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Cecily Holland 2 years ago

Jerkism knows no boundaries

18points

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#49

To stop being a vegetarian because it wasn’t fair to him (still not clear on how my dietary choices had any impact on him) or to get off anti-depressants because it made my feelings “inauthentic”.

ASortaFairytale1013 Report

Final score:

40points

POST

jammer 2 years ago

Yeah, that’s not how anti-depressants work. At all.

11points

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#50

I got told I was needy and possessive because I am monogamous and would also like my partners to be. Same guy also took me to Pizza Hut once, waved the salad menu in my face and said "I think you're better off looking at this!" so yeah I also basically got told to lose weight.

PlayedThisGame Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Mobey Drunk 2 years ago

You should have waved your finger and told him it's bigger.

0points

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#51

My long hair. They said it was fine mid-back, but if it grew past my waist, that was (and I quote) "a deal-breaker." My only regret about cutting them out of my life so fast was that they weren't around to see my hair reach my butt or to hear the constant compliments I get on it

sequinseeeds Report

Final score:

36points

POST

Biba Little 2 years ago

I had one of those too. He actually wanted me to cut my hair short, constantly praising short hair in girls and saying how long hair is "messy". I didn't cut my hair for him.

13points

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#52

A guy started a big fight with me for eating scrambled eggs from a bowl instead of a plate. To this day I still don’t get why it was such a big deal.

apickledcucumber Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Kanuli 2 years ago

O m g. We can argue if eating out of the pan, with the spatula would be overboard.

12points

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#53

I used to have the side of my head shaved (buzzed, not shaved bald.) I loved it. My ex asked me to stop cutting it and let it grow out. I said “Why? I like it.” He said “Because I don’t like my girlfriend having shorter hair than me.” Sounds like it’s time to shave your head then, buddy.

radioactive-sperm Report

Final score:

34points

POST

My Name Is Mars 2 years ago

What a jackass. I shave my head bald and my boyfriend loves it. He also loves it when I have a mohawk. And an undercut. And a pixie cut. And a bob. What I'm getting at is he loves me no matter what I look like.

17points

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#54

Basically my personality. I am a very quiet and gentle person. I can be very diligent and passionate about something but in quiet way and with the freedom to do so. My ex led me to believe that there was something wrong with my because I was not firely passionate about my goals. I felt like there was something wrong with my very being. Thankfully, we are no longer together, and guess what, I'm going after my goals!

confidelight Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Piet Puk 2 years ago

The exteovert ideal..

8points

#55

How I sleep. Like, do I have to sleep facing his direction?

culps001 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Cecily Holland 2 years ago

We don’t sleep in the same bed and haven’t in 18 years. Problem solved

19points

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#56

My clothes, he inspected my long skirt carefully, and said it was transparent and told me not to wear it. It was hardly transparent and I had leggings on underneath. I laughed at him and we ended up breaking up a week or two later. He was a clown

arigato-cheburashka Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Kanuli 2 years ago

Looool. Yes you should be aware if something is see-through. But anything after that is totally up to you. If you are ok with people seeing your nipples, bra, shirt, panties, leggins, who else should care? It’s your choice.

10points

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#57

One time on a dating app a man messaged me and asked if I could change my name because he didn't like unisex names

ParticularCheetah857 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

ShriSha Kamboj 2 years ago

ask him to change his IQ......it's giving me too much of a headache

21points

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#58

This one boyfriend I had when I was 16 asked me to get colored contacts because he wanted me to have brown eyes and not green eyes. Said I'd be his "dream girl" if I did that.

HermittCrabby Report

Final score:

33points

POST

qwerty 2 years ago

Who cares? They all taste the same.

33points

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#59

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes In high school, my then-bf told me I wasn’t allowed to wear clothes from Forever 21 or Ross because that was “ghetto” and he wanted me to wear A&F, Hollister, and AEO….as if I had the money, took me a couple of years to realize what a [friggin] loser he was

Crownedone21 , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Pungent Sauce 2 years ago

Pretty sure I’m going to enjoy your company more if you want to hit up the thrift/secondhand stores with me instead of the mall.

13points

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#60

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes To not have more tattoos than him at any point. So when I wanted my second and he only had the one, he expected me to wait until he got a second tattoo first.

I'm guessing it had something to with his weird hang up on masculinity. I didn't listen and got my second while we were dating. He didn't say or do anything about it.

Shallow-ishPuddle , Julia Giacomini Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Pena Perkele 2 years ago

My ex got pissy because I went to an actual tattoo artist to get a tattoo without telling him about it in advance. I didn't tell because I knew he'd get pissed off, and tbh I already knew that I wanted the relationship to end. All of his tattoos were made by him and his friends and they were absolutely horrible. The quality was super bad, but I was willing to overlook that. His body, his choice. I just wouldn't want bad tattoos on my skin.

12points

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#61

Mine wanted me to drink more because it wasn’t fun having a girlfriend who barely drank. He had the audacity to tell people afterwards that I was an alcoholic. Glad he dumped me!

nothankyou3000 Report

Final score:

29points

POST

#62

I was told not to shake people’s hands when I meet new people because it’s too intimidating.

lawcapellas Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Nandina 2 years ago

You know, I don't care what it is. STOP trying to f**king change another person to fit your narrative. Grow up and be your own person!

7points

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#63

He started telling people I had a different job title than I actually do, because it “sounded better”. Now I’m more successful than he is, so he can suck it.

honeyllama Report

Final score:

29points

POST

#64

To stop swirling wine when I drink it at his dad's house, "because it comes off as if you are the mistress of the house." I told him it's not my fault he wasn't raised knowing the proper way of drinking wine.

We were 19-20, I just immigrated to the US from a country where my dad has been teaching me about wine for a few years, and bf's dad and stepmom (from my region) had good wine culture and had no issue with it, but not his mom's side.

PeskyRat Report

Final score:

29points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

wow, talk about insecure.

9points

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#65

He told me I had to become okay with him messing around with other women, and be okay with my partners doing that in general if we broke up, because I was never going to be validating enough to him or any other man so they would always need to seek it elsewhere.

We are not together anymore. I’m plenty validating to any guy who isn’t a bottomless pit of insecurity.

SlippyNippyN00ps Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Katherine Boag 2 years ago

More like a bottomless pit of abuse

4points

#66

My voice. I can project, I come from a family of loud talkers. He's super shy, we've been together 16 yrs, he still cringes if I open my mouth outside in the 167 townhome complex we live in because "someone might hear me".

heatherm70 Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Oopsydaisy 2 years ago

I have a loud voice, and I totally get this. I embarrass myself sometimes, and I cannot work in an open plan office!

14points

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#67

“Stop being dramatic” after triggering a panic attack by throwing/breaking my stuff

beeegmec Report

Final score:

26points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

report him for abuse. request a restraining order.

22points

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#68

My ex didn’t like me wearing skirts. Not because they were short or provocative or anything, he didn't like skirts. F**k that guy.

msstark Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Steïcy Gaya 2 years ago

I had a psycho ex who would not let me into my house (where he was crashing at the time) because, I quote "I had evil eyes on me from guys who have been looking at me because I like to wear cute dresses (which for him was an indication that I am open for flirting... A dress!!!)".. According to him, when a girl is in a relationship, she should dress as modestly as possible so that no other man can look at her. He would also offer me clothes that were unflaterring (brown, dark and no shape) and way too large for me. The situation got to the point where he would start doing some type of rituals to get rid of the "evil eyes". Didnt take me long to end the relationship!!! It was years back but I still cringe like it was yesterday!!!

17points

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#69

The way I hold a fork....I hold a fork like a regular human ! I think but he started yelling and saying it is embarrassing him.....I was in his bedroom at his moms house eating on a paper plate while he had gta on.

Swimming-Can610 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Leodavinci 2 years ago

Was he losing at GTA?

5points

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#70

My art. I painted sort of fantastical Pre-raphaelite type stuff, perhaps a little dark, and my ex wanted me to switch to landscapes and such because they would be more appealing to sell

ChinaCatSunflower9 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Steph Harrison 2 years ago

Sounds like my type of art, you keep creating what makes you happy <3

13points

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#71

40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes I had a partner ask me to gauge my ears so that I could “fit his aesthetic more”. Safe to say that relationship was short lived.

Bubblegum_B-tch , Kilian Seiler Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Pungent Sauce 2 years ago

Hate to admit I’m too old to get this one, but I don’t really see the value of a carabiner attachment point on the side of my head. And there’s no way that’s going to hold my weight.

18points

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#72

Asking any personal questions he said was arguing. So I was not allowed to get to know him.

alisoncarey Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Kona Pake 2 years ago

Who wants to talk about their 10 year prison sentence?

15points

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#73

He said my body was amazing but my cheeks were chubby. He asked me to google facial exercises to get rid of my cheek fat

themightylife Report

Final score:

22points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

ask him to google vows of silence.

19points

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#74

They wanted me to be the person I was before my best friend unexpectedly died.

CaffeineHamster Report

Final score:

21points

POST

ShriSha Kamboj 2 years ago

omg....that is just sad.....losing a bff and then another person who v wanted to share things with.......hope u dumped them and found urself and what is best for u\

11points

#75

My ex is an ex for a reason. He didn’t believe me when I told him that I get way too overstimulated with lots of noises/crowded places. I’ve always been like that. One time we had gone to his little brother’s bar mitzvah because he turned the big 13. After his bar mitzvah, everyone from there went to Olive Garden and I had thought it was going to be my boyfriend and I, his immediate family, and his aunt with her kids. We got there and EVERYONE was there. We had the back room all to ourselves, and with the crashing of dishes to the bathroom doors constantly seining open and close to the cars on the street outside to everyone chatting, I excused myself from the table twice in the almost 2 hours we had been there. The second time I texted my then boyfriend saying that I didn’t think I could stay much longer because I was getting overwhelmed and was feeling claustrophobic. He texted me saying he was going to tell his family that I didn’t feel good because he didn’t want them knowing about my overstimulation because he thought it was a silly thing that I could “overcome.” We got to the car and he was actually upset with me for leaving about 30 or so minutes before everyone else. He also had said that it was his brother's birthday and I should’ve “held out longer” because of it.

Panorainian Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Ellie Rosser 2 years ago

She DID feel unwell. Why would an upset stomach be ok but an upset mind not be?

13points

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#76

Said I need to stop wearing jackets in the house because he hates it.

Fapertures Report

Final score:

20points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

tell him he needs to stop talking in the house because you hate it.

12points

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#77

Asked me to gain 40+ lbs because he wanted me to have a huge ass.

pebbles412 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

As if you can dictate where the fat goes? He's doubly stupid.

13points

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#78

I was dating this girl who wished she could change me into a guy, like a whole a** different gender because it would “make it easier on her family”.

handsomeshay Report

Final score:

19points

POST

XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago

Ya sure she wasn't straight?

10points

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#79

Change who I chose to hang out with and call my friends. They had him figured out and he didn’t like that.

pickinrhubarb Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

The instant someone tries to distance you from your family and/or friends, run. Run fast.

14points

#80

Get LASIK because glasses don’t look good on me.

dbtee Report

Final score:

17points

POST

ShriSha Kamboj 2 years ago

i actually wonder where do these ppl get the audacity to ask someone to change their anatomy for some bs person like themselves

9points

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#81

He wanted me to read more non-fiction instead of fiction.

I read plenty but apparently fiction wasn't good enough for him.

madeofknives Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Katherine Boag 2 years ago

Read Why Does He Do That?

0points

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#82

My ex told me that I tell him “I love you” too much. Unsurprisingly he broke up with me a few weeks later.

Sus_Hibiscus Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Yeah, you heard 2 years ago

I got sick of my ex saying it too much. He would say it every 5-10 minutes, in the middle of conversations. I always had to reply I loved him too. He'd count how many times I spontaneously said it, and how many times he spontaneously said it, and they had to be equal to one another at the end of each day. When it got to evening, he'd tell me the "scores" so far and encourage me to catch him up if I was lagging.

19points

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#83

“Stop worrying” “stop thinking so much” yeah of it were that easy, I wouldn’t be doing it!

HersheysWellmade Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#84

He made me read lots of psychology books so I could manipulate his friends into liking me more??

What a catch.

corazon769 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

jammer 2 years ago

You found the chapter about him yet?

7points

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#85

To stop sleeping with earbuds/ earplugs in. It made him feel disconnected from me.

god-of_tits-and_wine Report

Final score:

15points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

well you are risking an ear infection so there is a legit reason to think about this.

8points

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#86

To post more pictures of ourselves doing corny s**t so we can be Tumblr famous together lol

limeblue31 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Yeah, you heard 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

#87

My family name

Express-Competition4 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Suzy the observer 2 years ago

No reason whatsoever for women to change names upon marrying.

6points

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#88

He wanted me to wear a SKORT.

Zahnburste Report

Final score:

12points

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

wow that's really not a big deal? what is the issue exactly?

0points

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#89

To start trimming all hair off of my toes

Elliejq88 Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Kona Pake 2 years ago

Did Frodo shave his toes?

4points

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#90

I had an atheist girlfriend that told me to not bring my bible into her apartment because "she didn't want that s**t in her house".

ThePurpleMister Report

Final score:

-9points

POST

Helen Haley 2 years ago

Kinda split on this one. On one hand, I'm an atheist and it wouldn't bother me any more than any other book he brought. On the other, my guess is her objection wasn't the book, it was him pushing his religion. I'm guessing this because I've dated over-zealous religious men, and it was the trying to convert me constantly that drove me nuts and she probably doesn't want the stress of the hard sell in her house. I would've just broken up with him.

34points

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What do you think ?

Beth Sito 2 years ago (edited)

As a mother of a 21 year old son, I can assure you that women can with alarming regularity be just as toxic as men. He once had a girlfriend that would "accidentally" hit him in the junk... the same girl got mad that he dare choose playing a game with his stepbrother one night instead of spending time with her on the phone so she logged into his PlayStation account and locked him out by changing the password. I was SO thankful when he finally got away from that abusive gremlin.

I agree, I've heard some toxic stuff coming from male friends about their (ex)girlfriends as well.

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N L 2 years ago (edited)

Men are more frequently toxic against women and to a more aggressive extent. There are more reports of murder, rape, sexual harassment of men/boys against women/girls than the other way around.

Ozacoter 2 years ago (edited)

Yes. Both sexes can be toxic and abusive and can be abused. But it is not a competition. This article was about WOMEN with abusive exes. Do you go to fibromalgia support groups telling them how terrible cancer is?

Wendy Boustani 2 years ago

This is not a revelation. You're just feeling anxious because you're not being centered. Let things exist without needing your input.

Rachael Sampson 2 years ago

Yes we are aware that women can be bad too. But this article isn't about women, it's about men. I feel you're just trying to take the conversation away with the whole "what about women too?!" We get it. 🙄

1point

Beth Sito 2 years ago

Yes I am aware that this is an article about women, I can read. I have been that woman, however I have noticed that hardly no one ever mentions the guys that go through this. I was trying to be helpful.

Leticia de la Lanza 2 years ago

I don't even know where to begin. After he cheated on my he justified it because, 1, he don't like the way I cleaned the house (mind you, I worked full time, made more money than him, took care of my girls, cooked, did laundry, and he mowed the lawn once a week and worked 24 hours a week, 2, having my 2nd child was a mistake, and 3, I had out on weight (my baby was 4 months at the time). After I divorced him, he called me everything in the book, made fun of me for being Latin, lazy, "too perfect", and of course, his biggest insult was to end every discussion with, of course, you are only a woman. WTF?!?

JessRS 2 years ago

You are only a woman, but honey, he's barely a man.

Stefan Gruber 2 years ago

As a man I really have to apologize for those many stupidos. Please be aware that not all of us are blessed with such borderless idiocism...

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40 Ridiculous And Toxic Requests These Women Received From Their Exes

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