Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Former Prisoners, Their Friends And Family Share 25 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Incarcerated That They Had To Learn On Their Own
Prison is a bit of a surreal experience for those who have ended up there. They undergo a lot of adapting and learning, and usually it's getting used to an extreme and unorthodox way of living. One they often wish they’d known before they got there.
Former inmates, their friends and family on Reddit have been sharing things that nobody told them about being incarcerated, but that they had to learn all on their own. And while some things do make sense, others feel like they’re out of this world.
We’ve collected some of the best responses on the post and made a curated list below, so scroll down and vote as well as comment on the ones you found most interesting, or tell us some prison stories you know of in the comment section below!
Pst! We also have another prison list if you’re into that.
More Info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Been to a state prison in Ohio as a young skinny white dude... one of the most intimidating feelings I've ever felt walking into a large building with 3 wings each filled to the brim with some scary mother f@#$%^s. Bunk beds, no cells
I learned very quickly to keep to myself. As you can imagine there was always tension in the air, that imminent sense violence was hanging in the limbo. Grown men packed into a tight living quarters with only a couple things of commissary to your name breeds one hell of a hostile environment.
I had a short stint but found myself constantly being aware of who and what was going on around me. Tobacco wasn't allowed, but if you could get 1 pack of smokes in, it could be broken down into 3 roll ups from each cig, and each roll up sold for 5 bucks, meaning one pack could net you 300 bucks.
Gambling is every where and I saw most dudes get in trouble because they would start incurring debt and couldn't pay it off, that's when they would heat up tomato soup in the microwave and throw boiling sticky soup on someone while they slept (saw it twice).
Envelopes and soups (ramen packets) were currency and prison is strictly racially divided, if your there long enough you have to join. It was terrifying but at the same time I meet some really interesting people and faced one of my greatest fears in life and came out the other side all the while doing almost a social experiment as it unfolded.
And the last thing I'll say is this; they say it's a "rehabilitation" center, that's complete bull s@#t. I went in for having a large amount of herb, but while in there I learned the best methods to counterfeit money and how to B and E without getting caught... our incarceration system desperately needs change. This was just my experience.
angry_waffle 2 years ago
Currently, this is meant to punish, not at all to rehabilitate. Punishment breeds a cycle of violence, with no chance to redeem yourself.
#2
A friend of mine did some time. He had internet, PlayStation and a chef made breakfast and dinner every day. They had to make lunch themselves with access to a full complimentary kitchen. Knives, cutlery and so on was freely available.
They often want outside to shop groceries and some even went to work.
Basically, the only thing was to stay away from the sex offenders.
This was a medium security correctional facility in Norway.
Ludwig Michiel 2 years ago
Norway must have some of the most "luxurious" prisons in the world, yet they also have very low recedivism rates, so they must be doing something right.
#3
I don't think the outside world realizes how racial prison life is. Even if you go into it with the most non-racial outlook, you better change that immediately or your life is in danger. I did a stint in Chino (California) in 1999 and a black guy gave me a fish sandwich (I'm white by the way) and next thing I know I'm being dragged into the back and assaulted by three other white guys. You don't play cards, make deals that involve open food, pretty much anything when it comes to races outside of your own. I didn't grow up with a racial outlook so I didn't even see or notice these things but I had to quickly to adjust.
#4
Wear slippers in the shower.. and shower everyday.. not doing one of those gets you beat up here in California.
#5
For me, the loss of everything outside of my body was the biggest shock. You have nothing they don't want you to have when you first go in, so in a way it's like being born into a new world, but fully aware. It's a steep learning curve to be sure, but truthfully, it isn't always cutthroat with nobody to trust. Sure there are people to avoid, and if you have a decent celly, they'll point them out, somewhat like Shawshank.
I was in medium security for 6 months on credit card fraud, so I wasn't near any expected dangerous people anyway, but there were still the territorial guys you just were better off avoiding.
Other than that...a LOT of reading for me, learning some basic card tricks from my celly....stuff like that. Not at all a desirable place to be IMO.
#6
Your word is everything. Breaking your word puts you roughly on par with a sex offender. You give your word on something, it needs to be gospel. Someone gives you theirs, assume it is too. And be ready to go if it isn't. It's not just worth fighting over, it's essential that you do.
Everything is for sale, or at least has a market value.
Sustained eye contact means you're starting s@#t. Someone makes it with you, assume they're sizing you up.
Don't do anything for free, unless it's for someone you know.
#7
Because of Hollywood I thought that prison had s@#t food and that guys just worked out all the time because they had nothing to do.
But then my uncle got locked up for 6 years and gained 50lbs and got diabetes.
Robin Roper 2 years ago
He gained weight because the food was s@#t - carbs and carbs topped off with carbs.
#8
Not a long timer here, but show everyone respect. If you bump into someone it is critical to say "I'm sorry man, I wasn't paying attention." You never shake hands, you fist bump. You can't be nice to the guards, just polite. There are a LOT more illiterate people than I ever thought possible.
Wesley Lucas 2 years ago
My husband did 11 months in Philadelphia before we had our son. He still talks about meeting illiterate folks in jail and not believing that our country could fail those people so badly.
#9
I was in max security juvie. When I was getting screened they asked me "have you ever contemplated [taking your own life]?" Ever? Yeah, sure I've thought of it once or twice. Boom, [preventative] watch. No clothes, a tarp for a blanket and a tarp wrapped pillow. I was miserable and had to convince whoever was in charge that where was a misunderstanding. I wasn't in very long, but I'm pretty good with authority so my stint was fairly relaxed. Don't look at people, be respectful, and keep to yourself. I was 15 at the time.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
Suicide smocks. They look like quilted blankets that have velcro on the sides. Most suicides in jail/prison happen within the first 72 hours of intake and are overwhelmingly done by hanging. Very easy to turn a bedsheet/jumper into a noose if you're creative and really want to die. Only takes about 15 minutes and most would do it during shift change when officers are inbetween rounds.
#10
For the most part, it's not like you see in TV and Movies.
Don't start s@#t, but be willing able able to defend yourself, if need be.
Keep to yourself and don't stand out...in anyway. This also means don't be the "funny" guy that makes everyone laugh. You want to be as invisible as possible really.
Don't try to be nice and give people stuff. They will, at first, make it seem like it makes you cool with them, but it doesn't.
It's WAY louder ALL the time than you think it would be. There are always people who never seem to sleep.
Be prepared to lose privileges because of other idiots... will happen all the time.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
Older inmates will typically be quite annoyed with the younger ones who stir stuff up. One loudmouth can get a lot of people who are minding their own business into trouble.
#11
I know someone who works for Dept of Corrections (CA). He says drones are where it's at. All kinds of crazy s@#t is brought in via drone right now and prisons are busting a#@ trying to figure out how to make them drone-proof, but for the moment it's a huge problem and changes everything about prison rules and behavior.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
I could see a lot of facilities putting up mesh/wire nets over their rec yards in the near future.
#12
Summer vacations.
Friend of mine was recently locked up during summer months. Because guards take vacation at the same time as everyone else, 3 days a week were spent on lockdown, meaning that 1-2 hours of outside time didn't apply due to staff shortage.
He's out now, and very thankful for his freedom.
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
Even worse now in the U.S. - Bureau of Prisons is averaging staff shortages of 30%, meaning they have to use non-guards to fill in. That works about as well as you might expect.
#13
TheGrandPubar said:
Where to put your hands since you don't have pockets to put them in.
onceuponathrow replied:
Most prisoners just let them flail about in the air. Not having pockets really f@#%s you up man.
FalconTurbo also replied:
I'm imagining that and it feels so awkward just thinking about it. Must be crazy to go for months like that.
#14
DrMeowbutuSeseSeko said:
The guards just sat and watched YouTube all day and night. Seems like a dream job if you've got no soul.
foul_ol_ron replied:
Had an uncle who was a guard. Said it was the most soul destroying job he'd ever had. He also said that most of the time, he got along better with the prisoners than the other guards.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
The crappiest officers would just kill time however they could. Our facility had blocks on MOST of the computers so you usually couldn't do much with them unless you were "lucky." Engaging with the inmates you'd meet some really interesting characters. As long as you were careful to not show favoritism/get too personal with them you could have reasonably fulfilling days when things were going well. I'll never forget some of the people I met in there.
#15
I've been out for fifteen years or so, tobacco was the basic currency when I was there, but you can't smoke in Canadian prisons anymore. Been out of touch with any criminals too long to say for sure.
Any street clothes are always worth something, shoes especially, but not all joints let you have them. Walkmans and any game controller with rumble, because the motor could be used for a tattoo gun. Pigma pens, because the ink worked for tattooing, and a limited number of inmates could purchase them.
#16
No one tells you how hungry you're gonna be. The food sucks, not just sucks its absolutely not fit for human consumption. But you get hungry enough to eat it. They only serve 1200 calories a day in women's prison. At least mine. You'd better hope you have canteen coming. Better hope someone out there cares enough to send it to you. And hopefully they send you enough money, because women in prison have to use canteen money to buy shampoo, conditioner, hairbrushes, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, pads and tampons, any type of Tylenol or stomach medication, cause if you get headache or stomach ache it'll take a week to get seen. You need to buy everything, and even though you're hungry enough to not be able to sleep, you still need tampons.
buttonpusher 2 years ago
Yeah shocked at this, although probably shouldn't be. Something I never thought of and would've assumed pads and tampons were free.
Load More Replies... Sanguinius 2 years ago (edited)
https://sylviassisters.org/ Sylvia's Sisters is a charity that was founded by a woman who experienced how prevalent period poverty is in prisons, and went on to create this organization to try and get period products in the hands of those who need them. My partner writes their newsletter. It's run by a bunch of sweet old ladies and I've participated in a few of their events.
Parmeisan 2 years ago
1200 calories is below the safe limit for women. I was trying to lose weight and went to 1300 for a short period of time and my doctor told me not to go that low. 1400 absolute lowest, otherwise you can suffer long-term health effects. So yeah, that's just "awesome" that we've made that the standard for the most vulnerable group in society...
Mandi 2 years ago
Working in the kitchen you could read on the side of the boxes that our food came in "Zoo Animals ONLY!" "Not For Human Consumption!" @Neal Definitely no entitlement issues when "Paying for things" im prison is double and sometimes TRIPLE than real life. Depending on the product you were purchasing. Don't be a d**k! Especially when you ain't been there and know nothing of the situation!
#17
KronoakSCG said:
Guards get worried if you sleep all the time
Escobarhunter asked:
Why?
KronoakSCG
Well, they either think you're depressed or think you're dead. Neither one is good and they don't want you to be either.
#18
Current prisoner here, in The Philippines. Anything can be smuggled in if you pay the right guards. Money = power. You can get away with almost anything if you have enough money.
#19
Anyway, I know there's a huge difference between men's and women's jails, and a huge difference between jail and prison. But one thing that no one tells you is that it's going to be so boring. So endlessly boring. Luckily, for women and state prison, there are a lot of programs and jobs available to fill your time, but there's always a wait. And everything in jail takes forever. And you have to be in for a certain amount of time before you qualify for a lot of things. They don't tell you how hard it is to be that bored. You have to make the most of it, and while I didn't enjoy my stays there, I always ended up being able to make the most of it and have a good time.
Sinkvenice 2 years ago
In England it's just prison. What's the difference between jail and prison?
#20
I had to learn that it didn't matter if I got beat up as long as I still stood up for myself. I came in fearing the inevitable knockout (I'm 5'4 and 125 lbs and not a fighter but I'm also not a punk and I don't keep my mouth shut for nobody), but yea I eventually got my butt kicked. Out of the 8 fights while I was in there I lost 6 of them but even though I got beat up people ended up respecting me. And there is nothing worse than total isolation from everything. Yea, it might be calming for a day or two but after thirty days, you start to lose it... I also learned that it didn't matter if you started a fight or not—if you fight, you go to the hole if you get caught in Texas.
Saint Jimmy 2 years ago
Ngl, Texas is not a fun place if you aren't a high class 50+ white man
#21
I am not a prisoner and never have served time but for almost a year I teach in a prison full time, my office is in a minimum security prison so its extremely laid back, our currency here is not ramen though, its actually stamps, stamps are apparently used for currency to get other items from inmates, its like a legal tender here within the prison. The inmates here are all pretty much laid back, hard to get the younger guys to pay attention in class but the older guys have some wisdom for sure.
#22
Well, one my first night in prison, after lights out, one of the prisoners yelled "63!" The entire prison started laughing. I asked my cellmate what I was missing. He told me that they had all been in their so long that they had the same jokes. To save time, the just decided to number them. I asked if I could give it a whirl. I shouted "37!" The prison erupted into the most loud laughter I have ever heard. I ask my cellmate what joke I just told and he responded, "I don't know, I haven't heard that one before."
#23
rot117 said:
If there's a candy bar on your bed when you get there DO NOT eat or keep it give it to someone else.
munkipawse asked:
Why? You have me curious about the reason.
rot117 explained:
Cause if you eat or keep it whoever put it there will most likely make it seem like you owe him or you might get a bad surprise.
#24
I would say the most surprising to me is that the inmates all do the same things, almost like they train each other to be inmates. For example: when they hold cigarettes and smoke, they all do it facing away from the officers station, they all sit on the beds in the same pattern, etc. If they see an officer coming onto the wing, they all yell "one time" to warn their friends to hide their s@#t. A more experienced officer can even spot inmates with "roles", which (in simple examples) you could have two inmates come up to distract you, while another one does something they're not supposed to. Or you could have one being irritating and trying to get on your nerves, so that another inmate will come up and offer to get him to stop. If you agree, the one stopping him will begin to act very friendly, and could start asking you to smuggle phones, or allow him and his buddies special privileges.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
If someone you don't usually chat with comes up and starts acting especially friendly, they're covering something up. Often it will be tattooing, fighting, or f*cking. Those are the three I would always keep an eye out for. A smart officer will invite the inmate to continue conversing with him while he does a round so the guy won't run back to tell whoever he's covering for. If he doesn't follow, watch where he goes.
#25
My dad did time. Got kitchen duty. Was serving food. Dude said to my pops "you better put more on this plate" my dad new If he did he would be considered a b***ch. He dropped the dude right in line. Had to go to seg but when he got out was considered the man of the pod. My 5'11 glasses wearing white father. It makes me smile thinking about it.
What do you think ?
Brandon Marlowe 2 years ago
Our entire criminal justice system is a disgrace. Poorly trained, sometimes racist police who are not a part of the community they're supposed to be serving is a huge problem. Prosecutors who seek a conviction regardless of guilt instead of pursuing justice is just plain wrong. Draconian sentences handed down by politically needy judges are a travesty. And "for profit" prisons are a dismal shame.
Load More Replies...
Donkey boi 2 years ago
My cousin did 8 months inside a notorious prison in the UK. His cellmate as a white supremacist serving multiple life sentences for murder. This guy had Nazi insignia tattooed all over his massive body and a history of hospitalising his cell mates. My cousin lived in constant fear for 8 months (He got hit a few times and had his cheekbone broken). With his sentence done he was released. Fast forward 2 years and my other cousin (1st one's younger brother) gets 18 months for racially aggravated assault (a crime he didn't actually commit), and gets sent to the same prison and put in a cell with the Nazi hulk. Now, cousin 2 is a tiny, kind, sweet natured (if somewhat a little "different") young man. Putting him in a cell with that filth is akin to putting Bambi in the lions enclosure. The whole family was so worried about him (especially because he was innocent and didn't deserve to be there). At first visitation, his mother, almost too afraid to ask, wanted to know how things were. Cont..
Donkey boi 2 years ago
This poor, fragile, sweet, innocent young man said, 'Oh my GOD, It's soo much fun! He's reeaally good at "I-spy", he can think of load of things. Ooo! And we were playing hide and seek this morning, and he took forever to find me. I was under my blanket!'. It turns out that my little cousin had this Neo-Nazi, brick shithouse, murderer playing hide and seek in a tiny cell, where there really was no place to hide, and they pretended they couldn't find eachother, walking around going 'Hmmm, well he's behind the toilet.... and he's not in the tobacco tin... I wonder here he could be...'. By the end of my little cousins term, The Godzilla of Nazis had expressed a wish to have his tattoos removed and had changed (some of) his views. It would appear that even the worst people in the world cannot stand up to the innocence of my cousin.
Load More Replies...
Uber Mensch 2 years ago (edited)
The U.S. has 5% of the world population ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population ) but *25%* of the world's inmates ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_incarceration_rate ). We aren't rehabilitating offenders, just warehousing them. As I heard one inmate express it "I'm not reformed, I'm just PISSED!"
ZAPanda 2 years ago
Interesting, thanks. What fascinates me is how society assumes this is even necessary. Sure, for violent guys who really are out of control - people who pose physical threats - but really? There are plenty of crimes which are trivial and need to be dealt with using preventative measures. Shoplifting, drug possession, financial crimes - all of these are preventable and do not directly kill anyone. Look for example how Portugal handles the drug issue.
Moezzzz 2 years ago
I spent a night in jail. It was probably the worst experience of my life. I was jailed as a scare tactic, but honestly I had no idea what or who they wanted from me. Told me I better write some names in blood while I spent the night locked up. I was terrified. So, at one point I had an issue with opiates. I had legitimate prescriptions, but had an ex that was hell bent on destroying my life, & convinced his cop buddies that I was selling or buying drugs (he was a fire captain- WAS). I was taking more than I should have, but wasn't doing anything illegal. So, eventually everything was thrown out of court, but it was awful. For the most part, the women were nice, but a few were waaaay too comfortable being there, there were 3 ELDERLY ladies there and the guards were straight up assholes. I cried all night long. Literally. What this ex didn't know was that I was friends with the Assistant District Attorney in the next city & he had me out the next morning. Ended up moving to get away-
Moezzzz 2 years ago
From him, but yeah. I should have left him a long time ago. I've since stopped taking those meds, even though I have a spinal stimulator implant and brittle bones, just bc I tended to take a few more than I should have when I was with that guy JUST to be able to deal with his crap (severe alcoholic and abusive; which is how he lost his job, too). So, now I chose to deal with pain in my own way, as holistically as possible. But yeah, that one night inspired me to NEVER be put in a situation like that again.
Load More Replies...
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I'd like to know how prisons in countries other than the USA work. I think the Norwegian post was the only non-American post.
Monica 2 years ago (edited)
A friend did five years in a dormitory style prison (one big room w/ multiple beds). What stuck with him was just how disgusting it was: roaches, moldy food etc. Between the cramped conditions and the general grossness of the facility, personal hygiene is huge. Prisoners who lack in their hygiene or are messy are going to have problems. Also learned what a Fifi is.
Brandon Marlowe 2 years ago
Our entire criminal justice system is a disgrace. Poorly trained, sometimes racist police who are not a part of the community they're supposed to be serving is a huge problem. Prosecutors who seek a conviction regardless of guilt instead of pursuing justice is just plain wrong. Draconian sentences handed down by politically needy judges are a travesty. And "for profit" prisons are a dismal shame.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 2 years ago
My cousin did 8 months inside a notorious prison in the UK. His cellmate as a white supremacist serving multiple life sentences for murder. This guy had Nazi insignia tattooed all over his massive body and a history of hospitalising his cell mates. My cousin lived in constant fear for 8 months (He got hit a few times and had his cheekbone broken). With his sentence done he was released. Fast forward 2 years and my other cousin (1st one's younger brother) gets 18 months for racially aggravated assault (a crime he didn't actually commit), and gets sent to the same prison and put in a cell with the Nazi hulk. Now, cousin 2 is a tiny, kind, sweet natured (if somewhat a little "different") young man. Putting him in a cell with that filth is akin to putting Bambi in the lions enclosure. The whole family was so worried about him (especially because he was innocent and didn't deserve to be there). At first visitation, his mother, almost too afraid to ask, wanted to know how things were. Cont..
Donkey boi 2 years ago
This poor, fragile, sweet, innocent young man said, 'Oh my GOD, It's soo much fun! He's reeaally good at "I-spy", he can think of load of things. Ooo! And we were playing hide and seek this morning, and he took forever to find me. I was under my blanket!'. It turns out that my little cousin had this Neo-Nazi, brick shithouse, murderer playing hide and seek in a tiny cell, where there really was no place to hide, and they pretended they couldn't find eachother, walking around going 'Hmmm, well he's behind the toilet.... and he's not in the tobacco tin... I wonder here he could be...'. By the end of my little cousins term, The Godzilla of Nazis had expressed a wish to have his tattoos removed and had changed (some of) his views. It would appear that even the worst people in the world cannot stand up to the innocence of my cousin.
Load More Replies... Uber Mensch 2 years ago (edited)
The U.S. has 5% of the world population ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population ) but *25%* of the world's inmates ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_incarceration_rate ). We aren't rehabilitating offenders, just warehousing them. As I heard one inmate express it "I'm not reformed, I'm just PISSED!"
ZAPanda 2 years ago
Interesting, thanks. What fascinates me is how society assumes this is even necessary. Sure, for violent guys who really are out of control - people who pose physical threats - but really? There are plenty of crimes which are trivial and need to be dealt with using preventative measures. Shoplifting, drug possession, financial crimes - all of these are preventable and do not directly kill anyone. Look for example how Portugal handles the drug issue.
Moezzzz 2 years ago
I spent a night in jail. It was probably the worst experience of my life. I was jailed as a scare tactic, but honestly I had no idea what or who they wanted from me. Told me I better write some names in blood while I spent the night locked up. I was terrified. So, at one point I had an issue with opiates. I had legitimate prescriptions, but had an ex that was hell bent on destroying my life, & convinced his cop buddies that I was selling or buying drugs (he was a fire captain- WAS). I was taking more than I should have, but wasn't doing anything illegal. So, eventually everything was thrown out of court, but it was awful. For the most part, the women were nice, but a few were waaaay too comfortable being there, there were 3 ELDERLY ladies there and the guards were straight up assholes. I cried all night long. Literally. What this ex didn't know was that I was friends with the Assistant District Attorney in the next city & he had me out the next morning. Ended up moving to get away-
Moezzzz 2 years ago
From him, but yeah. I should have left him a long time ago. I've since stopped taking those meds, even though I have a spinal stimulator implant and brittle bones, just bc I tended to take a few more than I should have when I was with that guy JUST to be able to deal with his crap (severe alcoholic and abusive; which is how he lost his job, too). So, now I chose to deal with pain in my own way, as holistically as possible. But yeah, that one night inspired me to NEVER be put in a situation like that again.
Load More Replies... CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I'd like to know how prisons in countries other than the USA work. I think the Norwegian post was the only non-American post.
Monica 2 years ago (edited)
A friend did five years in a dormitory style prison (one big room w/ multiple beds). What stuck with him was just how disgusting it was: roaches, moldy food etc. Between the cramped conditions and the general grossness of the facility, personal hygiene is huge. Prisoners who lack in their hygiene or are messy are going to have problems. Also learned what a Fifi is.
You May Like Raging Woman Demands Two-Year-Old “Man” Be Thrown Out Of Bathroom, Regrets It 29YO Just Assumes Her 19YO Sis Is A Pro-Bono Babysitter, Shocked To Receive A Flat-Out Refusal
Gabija Palšytė
Denis Krotovas
Related on Bored Panda
