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Ever wondered how to call someone stupid in a smart way so that you don’t step on any toes? We’ve all been there, faced with moments where roasting someone’s intellect seems like the only plausible response. But let’s be honest, calling someone outright stupid won’t make you the life of the party.
What you need are some intelligent insults—the smart way to suggest someone might need an intellectual boost. We’re not advocating for mean-spiritedness, but some situations demand hilarious comebacks and great insults. But make sure to balance your fancy insults with wit and charm so they don’t cause any emotional bruises.
A Reddit user u/lientubay asked the world, “What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?” Over 60,000 people had apparently pondered the same question, and the thread skyrocketed. People from all around the world shared various ways of how to insult someone politely by using both modern ingenuity and old folk proverbs.
So finally, instead of awkwardly using the same insult over and over again, like “so is your face,” you’ll have a list of things to say when encountering a stupid person. What a tough world for us—intelligent people—this is. Thanks for making our life bearable, Reddit!
Now, scroll down below to learn how to tell someone they’re dumb in a smart way. Got any intelligent insults of your own? Share them with us in the comments.
More Info: Reddit
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#1
In russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".
#2
I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong
#3
Sharp as a marble, that one.
JennyLaRue 3 years ago
My Grandad used this all the time (fortunately not to me, well not to my face anyway)
What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?
Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.
There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:
- Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
- One sandwich short of a picnic.
- A few cards short of a full deck.
- All foam, no beer.
However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:
- Dunderheaded
- Anserine
- Addlepated
- Blinkard
- Obtuse
- Nescient
And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.
#4
One of my personal favorites:
"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."
#5
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
#6
Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.
How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?
Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.
Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.
To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.
Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.
We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.
Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”
Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”
Mic drop!
Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.
#7
In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella"
#8
Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
#9
You could hide your own Easter eggs.
#10
I think I saw this one here previously “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”.
#12
It's impossible to underestimate you
Sarah Simons 3 years ago
Like if they're really dumb, they might not even see this as an insult
#13
You're the reason we have warning labels.
#14
"If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid."
#16
If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.
#17
A village somewhere is missing their idiot.
#20
He needs to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he's wasting
#21
I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you.
M O'Connell 3 years ago
A variation "I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you" has hung in my office for years :)
#22
"I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."
-Captain Malcom Reynolds
#24
Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. I said "I believe if there was a harder way to do that you two would find it."
They didn't get it.
#25
Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".
#26
You could blow in their ear and they would say thanks for the refill.
#27
One of my all time favorites is "More foam than beer".
#28
"At this point, you can only impress me."
#29
"Well pardon me, ma'am but what you don't know could fill a warehouse."
Courtesy of Bart Simpson.
#30
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
What do you think ?
judy baker 3 years ago
I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
ArhomR 3 years ago
My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.
Load More Replies...
Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago
My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
DBear 1 year ago
If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.
Load More Replies...
anonymous 3 years ago
i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.
Load More Replies... judy baker 3 years ago
I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
ArhomR 3 years ago
My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.
Load More Replies... Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago
My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
DBear 1 year ago
If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.
Load More Replies... anonymous 3 years ago
i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.
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