Join the Fun!

captainawesome1983 , ResoluteSupportMedia Report

an old man shaking hand to a military man I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong

Final score:

360points

POST

Verena Gitterle 3 years ago

That is a good one!

84points

a little metal ball on the ground Sharp as a marble, that one.

randolotapus , James Samsonow Report

Final score:

350points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

My Grandad used this all the time (fortunately not to me, well not to my face anyway)

71points

NostalgicPotat0 , Wikimedia Commons Report

What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?

Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.

There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
A few cards short of a full deck.
All foam, no beer.

However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:

Dunderheaded
Anserine
Addlepated
Blinkard
Obtuse
Nescient

And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.

close-up view of brain cells One of my personal favorites:

"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."

Final score:

334points

POST

MagicalUnicorn 3 years ago

i'm totally gonna use this one

87points

man standing in a yellow boots in the puddle Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

dusty-kat , supafly Report

Final score:

271points

POST

NoodleBear 3 years ago

That’s actually somewhat impressive

8points

Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.

MidnytStorme Report

Final score:

262points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

I've always liked this one!

63points

How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?

Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.

Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.

To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.

Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.

We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.

Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”

Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”

Mic drop!

Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.

people under umbrellas walking on the street In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella"

GSavvage , Charles Edward Miller Report

Final score:

260points

POST

María Hermida 3 years ago

When God was handing out brains you were queueing to get a nose

99points

man in a costume going with a basket and wooden spoons in his hands Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

BerenTheBold , Hans Splinter Report

Final score:

260points

POST

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

My gramps on the word "foolproof": "They ain't met the fools."

89points

colorful eggs lying on the grass You could hide your own Easter eggs.

bdiz78 , Eden, Janine and Jim Report

Final score:

248points

POST

Maddox Cole Glassner 3 years ago

Oof

49points

#10

man smiling with plastic eyes on his face I think I saw this one here previously “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”.

soalindie , Slimane Lalami Report

Final score:

234points

POST

Paul Budhram 3 years ago

ohno

33points

#11

glacier near water My teacher said I was as "quick as a glacier"...

Hairydoggie , Gareth Sloan Report

Final score:

225points

POST

Verena Gitterle 3 years ago

......but unstoppable

123points

Snugl-v301 , MACBA Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona Report

#12

basic equipment for interviews It's impossible to underestimate you

Final score:

215points

POST

Sarah Simons 3 years ago

Like if they're really dumb, they might not even see this as an insult

16points

#13

a red label with warning You're the reason we have warning labels.

igenus44 , Paul Fisher Report

Final score:

212points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

Love this one!

40points

#14

"If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid."

TedMeister88 Report

Final score:

206points

POST

ArhomR 3 years ago

Mean, but funny.

55points

#15

three runners running on the stadion He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

perstn , The U.S. Army Report

Final score:

200points

POST

J Rob 3 years ago

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

72points

#16

If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.

ACM_ONE Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Christian Bradshaw 3 years ago

Personal favorite of mine

36points

#17

A village somewhere is missing their idiot.

Too_Old_for_dis Report

Final score:

192points

POST

Paul Budhram 3 years ago

yas

37points

#18

a red carriage on the railways His train of thought is still boarding at the station.

Washjockey , elminium Report

Final score:

185points

POST

Chillace 3 years ago

is it just me or does the thing at the top of the train look like a face?

112points

#19

a hamster sitting in a pink wheel The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead.

lburton273 , frankieleon Report

Final score:

179points

POST

DramaDoc 3 years ago

This one is my favorite... Sadly, I use it more that I wish I had to.

46points

#20

He needs to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he's wasting

a95bar Report

Final score:

177points

POST

Sonya king 3 years ago

thatz "sOoOo" great !!!

34points

#21

I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you.

Stop_Screaming Report

Final score:

171points

POST

M O'Connell 3 years ago

A variation "I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you" has hung in my office for years :)

47points

FlipSchitz , Krishna Avanti School Report

#22

pupils sitting on the floor in the classroom and listening their teacher "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."

-Captain Malcom Reynolds

Final score:

166points

POST

White Paper Tsuru 3 years ago

Yaaaaasssss!!!

39points

#23

Unencumbered by the thought process.

OldPolishProverb Report

Final score:

155points

POST

ArhomR 3 years ago

This should be No. 1!!

34points

Juleigha Mills 3 years ago

Sadly, many people don't know what "unencumbered" means

4points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

Or as the Romans used to say, "Non impediti ratione cogitatonis".

0points

Kate O'Brien 2 years ago

CC ant find his ass with both hands

0points

elfin 3 years ago

Describes our current political system perfectly.

0points

Alex Hamilton 3 years ago

No 1 = Deffo!! still chuckling.

0points

Strawberry Hellcat 3 years ago

Unharmed by the ravages of intelligence.

0points

#24

Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. I said "I believe if there was a harder way to do that you two would find it."

They didn't get it.

pollotergeist Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Max Thompson 3 years ago

Tòuche.

36points

#25

box of soup near the sockers Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

angrypunishment , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Paul Budhram 3 years ago

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

26points

#26

You could blow in their ear and they would say thanks for the refill.

Cooked_Bread Report

Final score:

138points

POST

Nudge 3 years ago

oh my gosh 😂😂

22points

#27

bottle of beer near the glass full of beer One of my all time favorites is "More foam than beer".

DoctorSalty , Bernt Rostad Report

Final score:

137points

POST

Ethan Serna 3 years ago

wow

23points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#28

man near the sign in the forest "At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note , Aaron Report

Final score:

114points

POST

Alexander Albon 3 years ago

*claps*

32points

#29

"Well pardon me, ma'am but what you don't know could fill a warehouse."

Courtesy of Bart Simpson.

kutuup1989 Report

Final score:

110points

POST

J Cole 3 years ago

This is actual very true and not only for idiots but everyone me including

55points

WilburWhateleystwin Report

#30

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

Final score:

110points

POST

Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago

Or "...to blow your nose."

65points

Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium

Unlimited content

Ad-free browsing

Dark mode

#31

How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs Useful as a chocolate teapot.

dd28064212 , DvYang Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Verena Gitterle 3 years ago

But yummy!

26points

#32

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

Dick_Ramsbottom Report

Final score:

39points

POST

ArhomR 3 years ago

Brilliant!

6points

StrykerSeven , Bernard Spragg. NZ Report

#33

How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs On a Canadian jobsite:

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

Final score:

38points

POST

Christopher Garman 3 years ago

I had an employee like that once... He was like working with a negative person. I literally had to assign someone else to the same tasks just to have them half-a**ed done. Unfortunately I couldn't let him go due to upper management diallowing it due to a hiring freeze... Thankfully I have moved on and have numerous ways to answer the age old question of why good employees move to greener pastures and why companies fight tooth and nail to keep the dredges.

8points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#34

Bless your heart is a common southern subtle slap.

eckswhy Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Stephanie Did It 3 years ago

It translates to "You poor thing, there's no hope for you"

14points

#35

Your train of thought is a replacement bus service, isn't it?

AnarchistGoose Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Leilani Ortiz 3 years ago

4points

#36

Not the brightest crayon in the box. There are 2 arabic ones that I abuse.... (اذكى اخواته) smartest of his siblings. )وقت ما وزعو الغباء عدى مرتين When stupidity was distributed, he came back for seconds.... I freaking love them

jigoiswatching Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Ian Smith 3 years ago

Maybe something is lost in translation ..

4points

#37

They would be out of their depth in a parking lot puddle

Bamboozled_Noodle Report

Final score:

34points

POST

ArhomR 3 years ago

Hahahaha!!!

3points

#38

A little too much chlorine in your gene pool.

Boraxo Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Piet Puk 3 years ago

"There's no "I" in "Genius"!

15points

#39

In French we sometime say "he/she doesn't have electricity at every floor".

FrogInACupOfTea Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

"Il / elle n'a pas la lumière à tous les étages". Because, in previous centuries, it was very expensive and only the few first floors usually had running water and electricity, because the higher your haussman apartment was, the cheaper it was. So, it basically means your brain is not functioning, not irrigated... well, you are an idiot.

6points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#40

The lights are on, but no ones in

shakeil123 Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Vasana Phong 3 years ago

Lol, so many ways with this one, like the elevator doesn’t go all the way up

4points

#41

lmao I had a teacher that would always say 'keep them guessing, don't open your mouth and prove them right'.

N-I_C-K Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Amanita muscaria 3 years ago

I love this one.

5points

#42

People who would "forget to breathe if their bodies didn't do it for them"

C0rl3x Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Sarah Simons 3 years ago

*Breathing switches to manual*

23points

Mountain_Situation89 Report

#43

I like letterkennys “you’re just spare parts, aren’t ya bud”.

Final score:

27points

POST

John Otruba 3 years ago

ROFLMAO I laughed so hard!! I have a younger brother who is a master at any heavy equipment.. I just pictured him with a trainee!!!DAMN

2points

#44

My grampa told me a few times "son you need lemons to make lemonade and you ain't got no lemons". I laugh every time.

Huck4108 Report

Final score:

26points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Translated: You need brains to think. But you haven't got a brain.

2points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#45

"You must have ironed your brain"

Angel_OfSolitude Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Two Silly Pups 3 years ago

an equivalent to 'and you ain't pretty, either'

2points

#46

"You're a brick short of a sandwich" or "Are you professional idiot, or just a gifted amateur?"

The_Boar_Shark Report

Final score:

25points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

I've only ever heard "a sandwich short of a picnic" before, but now I'm picturing house bricks making a sandwich!

9points

#47

I wouldn't trust you to sit the right way on the toilet seat!

From Rowan Atkinson Live

Zem_42 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Robert Baldwin 3 years ago

"The kind of person people emigrate to avoid"

4points

#48

About as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

PissSphincter Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago

‘Bout as useful as udders on a bull (that’s the clean version).

4points

#49

He has different talents.

Satures Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Deborah B 3 years ago

...as yet undiscovered.

15points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

Damanjeet is passionate about cycling and fascinated by sci-fi movies. When not writing, you can find her conducting silly science experiments with her 5-year-old.

Damanjeet is passionate about cycling and fascinated by sci-fi movies. When not writing, you can find her conducting silly science experiments with her 5-year-old.

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

What do you think ?

POST

judy baker 3 years ago

I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

34points

ArhomR 3 years ago

My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.

15points

Phil Boswell 3 years ago

Also from GC: "think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

2points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

...or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench.

0points

Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago

Very true,we see this over and over again. However,I have seen also some malicious comments below that I would rate as Bullying.It is easy to make fun of people who are less intelligent,have had fewer oportunities or the means to study. In the olden times there was not a country that did not have a region or group of peoples that were considered inferior/rustic/dumb and stories would circulate at dinner-tables and every-one would have a great big guffard at their expense. Just a few examples...Hill-billies..Molbo-stories (in Denmark) the Alentejanos (Portugal) etc.Actually,years back when I was studying Anthropology I took up this subject and found out that most of these stories came from the same source.During the 100 years war the soldiers hired by the various Kings of Europe would travel up through the countries,meet up and swap stories when sitting around the camp-fires.

0points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

"A person is smart. People are stupid." (IIRC, that's from "Yes, Prime Minister")

0points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

This explains the outcome of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and the raid on the Capitol on 6 January 2021.

-1point

Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago

My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

31points

DBear 1 year ago

If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.

2points

anonymous 3 years ago

i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"

17points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.

8points

John Baker 3 years ago

Seems to me that's saying someone is ugly more than he's stupid.

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Lame.

-2points

Colin Matthews 3 years ago

The New Zealand prime minister once remarked that people who leave NZ for Australia raise the average IQ of both countries...

14points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago

I’ve often heard something similar in the US when someone moved from one state to another “both states were better off”.

4points

Kaori Panda 3 years ago

I like ''Your elevator doesn't quite go all the way to the top, does it?''

10points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

In my country we say something similar: is the top floor uninhabited??

1point

GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago

My mom would always say, "Use your head for something besides a hat rack!"

7points

Logic and Reason 3 years ago

My personal favorite is “I expect nothing from you, and yet you never fail to disappoint me.”

6points

tomruns12 3 years ago

"smooth brained primate"

6points

Debra Robinson 3 years ago (edited)

Brain of an atom-heehee!

2points

NgatiDreadz 3 years ago

Well my father once told me when I was 12 I did something stupid and he said "you make me f*****g wonder sometimes boy that I should've shot you on the sheets" never knew what that meant until I was a man

5points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Ew!

4points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago (edited)

I’ve heard “the best part of you ran down your mother’s leg”. Not directed at me, fortunately.

2points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

I could add dozens to this list! His jogging trail doesn't go all the way around the retention pond His clutch has only two gears - park and neutral A few bats shy of a belfry A few clowns shy of a circus A few sandwiches shy of a picnic A couple tacos shy of a combo platter A few puppies shy of a humane society A few semis shy of a convoy A ramp shy of a cloverleaf A few little green men shy of a flying saucer All wall cloud and no tornado Couldn't organize an orgy in a brothel

0points

Sandra Pandra 3 years ago

This one: Totally not hinderwd by any form of knowledge.

5points

JessG 3 years ago

Just heard a good one: "I could eat a dictionary and crap out more sense than you make"

4points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

"If you leave the country, the national IQ will go up ten points" ----- my mother liked this one in her day.

4points

mcborge1 3 years ago

One of my favourits is a quote from Blackadder the third: "Your brain for example, is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit."

3points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

Love Blackadder.

1point

Peppermallow 3 years ago

Someone said to me ‘You are smarter than you look’. I replied ‘Are you jealous?’

3points

Aunt Messy 3 years ago

If you had a brain, you'd be on the floor playing with it.

3points

DBear 1 year ago

I once described a coworker who was prone to dispensing bad advice and wrong answers as a "minefield of information".

2points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

One of my favourites:- If he had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

2points

Samuel Holmström 3 years ago

One of my favorites is "She is nuttier then squirrel poo" comes from Harry Potter. in Swedish we say that somone has "Goblins on the atic" or the "light is on but no one is home " you can also say "not the shapes knife in the drawer". A good one for bad drivers are "you don't have all the horses in the stable"

2points

Nadine Debard 3 years ago

*not the sharpest knife in the drawer*. I like this one!

1point

Marianne Contrino 3 years ago

Unfortunately, I don't know any other good ones for intelligence, but I once heard someone refer to an unattractive person as having, "a face that takes some getting used to", and I still smile when I think about it.

2points

Nat Jones 3 years ago

"Face like a Bulldog chewin' on a Wasp!" 😄🐾🐝

1point

Debra Robinson 3 years ago

Heard on Saved By the Bell, "We both know you're as deep as a Frizbee", and I"f the two of you are sharing a brain, at least find one that works!" I don't remember who said these but still funny. Ok, for the Frizbee, I'd say way less deep. And the brain, maybe doubtful.

2points

nala simba 3 years ago (edited)

He must have gone to university for stupidity. It must take a lot of talent to be that thick !

2points

TheHappyBookCat 3 years ago

Hello! Can someone tell me how to add to it? (Or if you even can) because I have one whopper of an insult. Shower thoughts, am I right?

2points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

You can add yours right here! I look forward to seeing them.

0points

Heather Williams 3 years ago

Reminds me of the brilliant book: never play leapfrog with a unicorn (https://ontheroadbooks.co.za/products/never-play-leapfrog-with-a-unicorn-arthur-goldstuck-and-william-ramwell). So many brilliant insults in that book like: has his solar panels pointed at the moon.

2points

Liz Reece 2 years ago

Common sense is so uncommon, it might as well be a super power!

1point

LolaInTheDesert 3 years ago (edited)

My brother used to say, “If your brains were gas, you wouldn’t have enough sense to drive a pissant’s motorcycle half a lap around a Cheerio.”

1point

Marie-Stephane Art 3 years ago

a good one from a french humorist: "I am wearing black because I am mourning your brain"

1point

Enlee Jones 3 years ago

My favorite: If you were any dumber you’d have to watered twice a day.

1point

Dee Stern 3 years ago

I refer to these people as candidates for Darwin Awards.

1point

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

Scott "Dilbert" Adams once remarked that the world is full of 6 billion idiots. But because they outnumber the rest of us, we don't call them idiots to their face. Instead we say "In-DUH-viduals."

1point

Laugh or not 3 years ago

An IQ at room temperature - in Celsius.

1point

Donna Leske 3 years ago

Love Maxine 170321590_...370271.jpg

1point

Bama Cordes 3 years ago

Never argue with an idiot- they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

1point

cybermerlin2000 3 years ago

My personal favourites are... If your brains were made of chocolate you wouldn't have enough to fill a Smartie (UK)! And You are proof that light is faster than sound. You look bright until you open your mouth. Then there's, So stupid he could not spell A and So dumb he would count his fingers on both hands twice and come up with 11 and 9. Finally, there's: So stupid he has his name written in his underwear, so he does not forget who he is

1point

Vadim Mikhnevych 3 years ago

Also an old one: "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and s**t out a smarter statement than that..."

1point

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

My favorite comes from the play Cyrano De Bergerac. "These, my dear sir, are things you might have said, had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse. But wit? Not so, you never had an atom. And of letters, you need but three to write you down: A, S, S. Ass!"

1point

Daniel Marsh 3 years ago

My personal favorite creations: "Not playing with a full deck? If he ever gets a pair, shoot him!" "Flakier than a box of potatoes."

1point

MERMONKEY34 3 years ago

OMG, I WAS AT CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT YESTERDAY! <3

1point

Ann-ette Wages 3 years ago

Who else read this in the voice of Dowager Countess of Grantham? 🤣

1point

Virgil Sanders 3 years ago

i love these! i'll have to remember them for when people are annoying me

1point

M O'Connell 3 years ago

Ask them if they came in a box marked 'dim bulbs and dull blades'

1point

Charlotte 5 months ago

The bar was so low it was in hell but you just played limbo with the devil.

0points

Miz Lil 11 months ago

'If you tried to throw yourself to the ground, you'd miss'.

0points

Jennifer Hollands 11 months ago

The lights are on but no one's home

0points

Mingo Contraventum 1 year ago

He's an unfinished drawing.

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

I love these! Thank you BP.

0points

David Jeffery 1 year ago

I've always liked the insult "Aspro" Because Aspro (or Asprin if you aren't Australian) is a slow acting dope

0points

Ronnie Cutshall 1 year ago

Well good sir and/or madam I care not to trade insult with inferior being.

0points

Heavy Metal Librarian 2 years ago

My grandfather used to say "he's just as happy as if he had good sense." I've always liked that one.

0points

James Arvidson 2 years ago

Dumber than a bag of hammers, window licker, crayon eater, mouth breather. Just a few off the top of my head I've heard and used.

0points

Alison Kennedy 2 years ago

If a little bit of knowledge is dangerous then you are the most lethal person on the planet.

0points

Bob a job 2 years ago

There's wiser eating grass

0points

Amy Taylor 2 years ago

Some gems from my grandfather: "No grain in the silo" "His dipstick isn't touching his oil"

0points

Himory TheDreamer 2 years ago

I always say "such a genius with a j" because this sort of misspelling is very common in my country.

0points

Donna Younan 2 years ago

I like “Do I need to bring out the hand puppets?”

0points

Jessica Low 2 years ago

We would always say, "well, bless your little heart!"... trying to be nice.. i think.

0points

Courtney Fitzsimons 2 years ago

There she goes. The body that won't quit, and the brain that won't start.

0points

Courtney Fitzsimons 2 years ago

My favorite; you have a terminal case of cranial rectal insertion.

0points

nicehar 2 years ago

I once heard a radio talk show host tell one of his callers that he was suffering from 'Ignoramous embecelitis'

0points

nicehar 2 years ago

"You're good and kind...... good for nothing and kind of stupid."

0points

Jojo Strange 2 years ago

"If you like, I can write it out in crayon for you. I'll use big letters and little words.

0points

Dianne Kuciemba Wauters 2 years ago

My Momma would always say, “When God was giving out brains, you thought he said trains, and you missed yours.”

0points

Dan Murray 3 years ago

The result of pouring a gallon of education into a teacup of a brain.

0points

Nat Jones 3 years ago

Biff from BttF:. "Why don't you make like a tree & get outta here!". 😄🙄🌲🌲

0points

Laura Nicole 3 years ago

When I was younger I thought it was "you're not the brightest tool in the shed" ....... I guess it meant I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed after all...... My big brother used to blow air into one ear and pretend to feel it coming out of the other ear. Siblings are fun *eye roll*

0points

John Baker 3 years ago

One I've always liked: "He/she could come in second in a one-horse race."

0points

Colin Matthews 3 years ago

Ive always liked "are you quite sure you're allowed out on your own?"

0points

Theodore Wolner 3 years ago

Smart like rock, quick life tree.

0points

Theodore Wolner 3 years ago

Quick like tree.

0points

Pearlkp 3 years ago

The lights are on, but there's nobody home.

0points

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 3 years ago

A bit different in the meaning, but the same kind (heard in a movie) : "he's so annoying that when he leaves, he looks like he's coming back".

0points

TiaMa 3 years ago

- "Nejsi zrovna nejostřejší pastelka v penálu." → "You're not exactly the sharpest crayon (/pencil) in the pencil case." - "Není nejostřejším nožem v šuplíku..." → "They're not the sharpesst knife in the drawer." - "Je blbý jak tágo." → "He's dumb like a cue stick."

0points

Leslie Burleson 3 years ago

Does anyone else feel like these are all sayings Dr. Phil uses?

0points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

They could all be said about Dr. Phil.

2points

Deep One 3 years ago

That boy is numb as a pounded thumb. He's sharp as a bowling ball. He's be safe in a Zombie Apocalypse. Or That boy's zombie-proof.

0points

H05 3 years ago

Grandma: "He doesn't have the sense God promised a Billy goat"

0points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

“...not the brightest candle on the altar.”

0points

Mtownmick 3 years ago

A sandwich short of a picnic. One beer short of a six pack.

0points

Jessica Hollinghead Marcus 3 years ago

I generally say about myself "I have two good brain cells currently fighting for dominance. Spoiler alert...nobody wins." Good times...

0points

Ayia Grace 3 years ago

I see a lot of he/him, say there isn't they/their.

0points

Jyri Hakola 3 years ago

He`s not the sharpest pencil in the pencil holder, he has not all of the bats in the bell tower, he has not all of the indians in the canoe, he has not a of the moomins in the moomin walley, he`s not the brightest candle..

0points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

Of all the sperm cells you had to be the winner

0points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

"He has a few loose wires, and those connected are often crossed"

0points

... 3 years ago

In Finland we say: "He doesn't have all Moomins in the valley" (the Moomins is a popular children's book series and Moomins live in Moominvalley), "have bats in the bell tower/attic", "lights are on but nobody's home", "not the sharpest pencil in the case", "only things movimg in his head are eyes", "doesn't have both oars in the boat", "you can't ask him to give with ladle if he's only been given with spoon", "His paddle doesn't quite reach the water" and thousands of variations.

0points

MermaidsAndDragons 3 years ago

I love it.

0points

Sakuhana 3 years ago (edited)

In France, my 2 favorites are "They're not the half of an idiot" and "There's no/They don't have light in every floor". Oh, there's also "Good at nothing, Bad at everything". A classic

0points

Sakuhana 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

My personal favorite is "Dumber than a bag of hammers".

0points

Bjarne McDonald 3 years ago

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...

0points

Tahsintutul 3 years ago

Deep sleep music https://youtu.be/Y9CUpH3WlIk

0points

Uber Mensch 3 years ago

(S)he's the poster child for Planned Parenthood. Also, people like that are why they invented birth control.

0points

ArhomR 3 years ago

Retroactive birth control.

0points

Y T 3 years ago

In Sweden we have a saying: He doesn't have all his horses in the barn. :)

0points

Y T 3 years ago

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

0points

Pille P 3 years ago

You forgot your brain home again?

0points

Gizzywig 3 years ago

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed - Sir Edmund Blackadder

0points

Gizzywig 3 years ago

*Lord Edmund Blackadder

0points

MistyCat 3 years ago

I have a good one. "Chucklefucked rancid chicken nugget."

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

That isn’t a good one, that’s corny.

0points

Chewie Baron 3 years ago

Could t organise a piss up in a brewery, and Couldn't fight they're way out of a wet paper bag.

-1point

Chewie Baron 3 years ago

Bollocks, I used the wrong their!!M

0points

POST

judy baker 3 years ago

I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

34points

ArhomR 3 years ago

My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.

15points

Phil Boswell 3 years ago

Also from GC: "think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

2points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

...or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench.

0points

Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago

0points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

"A person is smart. People are stupid." (IIRC, that's from "Yes, Prime Minister")

0points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

This explains the outcome of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and the raid on the Capitol on 6 January 2021.

-1point

Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago

My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

31points

DBear 1 year ago

If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.

2points

anonymous 3 years ago

i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"

17points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.

8points

John Baker 3 years ago

Seems to me that's saying someone is ugly more than he's stupid.

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Lame.

-2points

Colin Matthews 3 years ago

The New Zealand prime minister once remarked that people who leave NZ for Australia raise the average IQ of both countries...

14points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago

I’ve often heard something similar in the US when someone moved from one state to another “both states were better off”.

4points

Kaori Panda 3 years ago

I like ''Your elevator doesn't quite go all the way to the top, does it?''

10points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

In my country we say something similar: is the top floor uninhabited??

1point

GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago

My mom would always say, "Use your head for something besides a hat rack!"

7points

Logic and Reason 3 years ago

My personal favorite is “I expect nothing from you, and yet you never fail to disappoint me.”

6points

tomruns12 3 years ago

"smooth brained primate"

6points

Debra Robinson 3 years ago (edited)

Brain of an atom-heehee!

2points

NgatiDreadz 3 years ago

5points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Ew!

4points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago (edited)

I’ve heard “the best part of you ran down your mother’s leg”. Not directed at me, fortunately.

2points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

0points

Sandra Pandra 3 years ago

This one: Totally not hinderwd by any form of knowledge.

5points

JessG 3 years ago

Just heard a good one: "I could eat a dictionary and crap out more sense than you make"

4points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

"If you leave the country, the national IQ will go up ten points" ----- my mother liked this one in her day.

4points

mcborge1 3 years ago

3points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

Love Blackadder.

1point

Peppermallow 3 years ago

Someone said to me ‘You are smarter than you look’. I replied ‘Are you jealous?’

3points

Aunt Messy 3 years ago

If you had a brain, you'd be on the floor playing with it.

3points

DBear 1 year ago

I once described a coworker who was prone to dispensing bad advice and wrong answers as a "minefield of information".

2points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

One of my favourites:- If he had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

2points

Samuel Holmström 3 years ago

2points

Nadine Debard 3 years ago

*not the sharpest knife in the drawer*. I like this one!

1point

Marianne Contrino 3 years ago

2points

Nat Jones 3 years ago

"Face like a Bulldog chewin' on a Wasp!" 😄🐾🐝

1point

Debra Robinson 3 years ago

2points

nala simba 3 years ago (edited)

He must have gone to university for stupidity. It must take a lot of talent to be that thick !

2points

TheHappyBookCat 3 years ago

Hello! Can someone tell me how to add to it? (Or if you even can) because I have one whopper of an insult. Shower thoughts, am I right?

2points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

You can add yours right here! I look forward to seeing them.

0points

Heather Williams 3 years ago

2points

Liz Reece 2 years ago

Common sense is so uncommon, it might as well be a super power!

1point

LolaInTheDesert 3 years ago (edited)

My brother used to say, “If your brains were gas, you wouldn’t have enough sense to drive a pissant’s motorcycle half a lap around a Cheerio.”

1point

Marie-Stephane Art 3 years ago

a good one from a french humorist: "I am wearing black because I am mourning your brain"

1point

Enlee Jones 3 years ago

My favorite: If you were any dumber you’d have to watered twice a day.

1point

Dee Stern 3 years ago

I refer to these people as candidates for Darwin Awards.

1point

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

Scott "Dilbert" Adams once remarked that the world is full of 6 billion idiots. But because they outnumber the rest of us, we don't call them idiots to their face. Instead we say "In-DUH-viduals."

1point

Laugh or not 3 years ago

An IQ at room temperature - in Celsius.

1point

Donna Leske 3 years ago

Love Maxine 170321590_...370271.jpg

1point

Bama Cordes 3 years ago

Never argue with an idiot- they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

1point

cybermerlin2000 3 years ago

1point

Vadim Mikhnevych 3 years ago

Also an old one: "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and s**t out a smarter statement than that..."

1point

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

1point

Daniel Marsh 3 years ago

My personal favorite creations: "Not playing with a full deck? If he ever gets a pair, shoot him!" "Flakier than a box of potatoes."

1point

MERMONKEY34 3 years ago

OMG, I WAS AT CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT YESTERDAY! <3

1point

Ann-ette Wages 3 years ago

Who else read this in the voice of Dowager Countess of Grantham? 🤣

1point

Virgil Sanders 3 years ago

i love these! i'll have to remember them for when people are annoying me

1point

M O'Connell 3 years ago

Ask them if they came in a box marked 'dim bulbs and dull blades'

1point

Charlotte 5 months ago

The bar was so low it was in hell but you just played limbo with the devil.

0points

Miz Lil 11 months ago

'If you tried to throw yourself to the ground, you'd miss'.

0points

Jennifer Hollands 11 months ago

The lights are on but no one's home

0points

Mingo Contraventum 1 year ago

He's an unfinished drawing.

0points

Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

I love these! Thank you BP.

0points

David Jeffery 1 year ago

I've always liked the insult "Aspro" Because Aspro (or Asprin if you aren't Australian) is a slow acting dope

0points

Ronnie Cutshall 1 year ago

Well good sir and/or madam I care not to trade insult with inferior being.

0points

Heavy Metal Librarian 2 years ago

My grandfather used to say "he's just as happy as if he had good sense." I've always liked that one.

0points

James Arvidson 2 years ago

Dumber than a bag of hammers, window licker, crayon eater, mouth breather. Just a few off the top of my head I've heard and used.

0points

Alison Kennedy 2 years ago

If a little bit of knowledge is dangerous then you are the most lethal person on the planet.

0points

Bob a job 2 years ago

There's wiser eating grass

0points

Amy Taylor 2 years ago

Some gems from my grandfather: "No grain in the silo" "His dipstick isn't touching his oil"

0points

Himory TheDreamer 2 years ago

I always say "such a genius with a j" because this sort of misspelling is very common in my country.

0points

Donna Younan 2 years ago

I like “Do I need to bring out the hand puppets?”

0points

Jessica Low 2 years ago

We would always say, "well, bless your little heart!"... trying to be nice.. i think.

0points

Courtney Fitzsimons 2 years ago

There she goes. The body that won't quit, and the brain that won't start.

0points

Courtney Fitzsimons 2 years ago

My favorite; you have a terminal case of cranial rectal insertion.

0points

nicehar 2 years ago

I once heard a radio talk show host tell one of his callers that he was suffering from 'Ignoramous embecelitis'

0points

nicehar 2 years ago

"You're good and kind...... good for nothing and kind of stupid."

0points

Jojo Strange 2 years ago

"If you like, I can write it out in crayon for you. I'll use big letters and little words.

0points

Dianne Kuciemba Wauters 2 years ago

My Momma would always say, “When God was giving out brains, you thought he said trains, and you missed yours.”

0points

Dan Murray 3 years ago

The result of pouring a gallon of education into a teacup of a brain.

0points

Nat Jones 3 years ago

Biff from BttF:. "Why don't you make like a tree & get outta here!". 😄🙄🌲🌲

0points

Laura Nicole 3 years ago

0points

John Baker 3 years ago

One I've always liked: "He/she could come in second in a one-horse race."

0points

Colin Matthews 3 years ago

Ive always liked "are you quite sure you're allowed out on your own?"

0points

Theodore Wolner 3 years ago

Smart like rock, quick life tree.

0points

Theodore Wolner 3 years ago

Quick like tree.

0points

Pearlkp 3 years ago

The lights are on, but there's nobody home.

0points

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 3 years ago

A bit different in the meaning, but the same kind (heard in a movie) : "he's so annoying that when he leaves, he looks like he's coming back".

0points

TiaMa 3 years ago

0points

Leslie Burleson 3 years ago

Does anyone else feel like these are all sayings Dr. Phil uses?

0points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

They could all be said about Dr. Phil.

2points

Deep One 3 years ago

That boy is numb as a pounded thumb. He's sharp as a bowling ball. He's be safe in a Zombie Apocalypse. Or That boy's zombie-proof.

0points

H05 3 years ago

Grandma: "He doesn't have the sense God promised a Billy goat"

0points

Lunar Bicycle 3 years ago

“...not the brightest candle on the altar.”

0points

Mtownmick 3 years ago

A sandwich short of a picnic. One beer short of a six pack.

0points

Jessica Hollinghead Marcus 3 years ago

I generally say about myself "I have two good brain cells currently fighting for dominance. Spoiler alert...nobody wins." Good times...

0points

Ayia Grace 3 years ago

I see a lot of he/him, say there isn't they/their.

0points

Jyri Hakola 3 years ago

0points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

Of all the sperm cells you had to be the winner

0points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

"He has a few loose wires, and those connected are often crossed"

0points

... 3 years ago

0points

MermaidsAndDragons 3 years ago

I love it.

0points

Sakuhana 3 years ago (edited)

In France, my 2 favorites are "They're not the half of an idiot" and "There's no/They don't have light in every floor". Oh, there's also "Good at nothing, Bad at everything". A classic

0points

Sakuhana 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

My personal favorite is "Dumber than a bag of hammers".

0points

Bjarne McDonald 3 years ago

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...

0points

Tahsintutul 3 years ago

Deep sleep music https://youtu.be/Y9CUpH3WlIk

0points

Uber Mensch 3 years ago

(S)he's the poster child for Planned Parenthood. Also, people like that are why they invented birth control.

0points

ArhomR 3 years ago

Retroactive birth control.

0points

Y T 3 years ago

In Sweden we have a saying: He doesn't have all his horses in the barn. :)

0points

Y T 3 years ago

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

0points

Pille P 3 years ago

You forgot your brain home again?

0points

Gizzywig 3 years ago

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed - Sir Edmund Blackadder

0points

Gizzywig 3 years ago

*Lord Edmund Blackadder

0points

MistyCat 3 years ago

I have a good one. "Chucklefucked rancid chicken nugget."

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

That isn’t a good one, that’s corny.

0points

Chewie Baron 3 years ago

Could t organise a piss up in a brewery, and Couldn't fight they're way out of a wet paper bag.

-1point

Chewie Baron 3 years ago

Bollocks, I used the wrong their!!M

0points