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The comments sections of social media posts can sometimes be cesspools of negativity. But they can also be a comedy goldmine of witty remarks and clever banter between users.

Enter the Epic Top Comments 2.0 Facebook page. It’s an assortment of screenshots featuring post replies with self-deprecating humor, facetious one-liners, and quips that sting in the funniest way possible. With 340,000 followers keeping the content coming, there is no scarcity of laughs here. 

We’ve picked some of the best wisecracks about the 2024 Olympics, questionable condiment decisions, and traumatic employment experiences. If you want to be a bit naughty in the comment boxes, here are some examples you can emulate.

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Traveling Lady Railfan
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've recently learned that if a group or organization cannot exist without one person, it's not a group. It's not an organization. It's one person doing all the work and a whole bunch of other people just happened to be there.

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Deadpan humor makes these comments tolerable despite their slightly harsh tone. In a nutshell, deadpan humor is delivering a joke or witty remark with very minimal emotion. 

Deadpan humor seems more effective via text, where detecting the sentiment behind the delivery is more difficult.

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Ren Karlej
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband struggles with subtitles... he's dyslexic. As around one in ten people are, that's going to be a lot of people who struggle with subtitles for very good reasons. Though personally I like them, but then I'm a bit deaf!!

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Blue Bunny of Happiness
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank goodness we all find different people attractive. Chances are you’d die in the crush or die old and single otherwise. I’m still going down the old and single route anyway!

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Unlike slapstick or topical humor in sketch comedies, deadpan humor is about wit and wordplay. Through intellect and irony, it urges its viewers to think beyond the obvious. 

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Some famous names who have incorporated dry humor into their comedy acts are the late great Norm Macdonald, “Mr. Bean” Rowan Atkinson, Sarah Silverman, and Aubrey Plaza.

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Chicken Nugget
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at least half of all anxiety/depression is caused by not being financially stable

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Deadpan humor isn’t for everyone. According to an article by Tampa-based comedy club Side Splitters, it tends to appeal more to people with an intellectual and witty outlook.

These people are known to have a keen sense of irony and enjoy juxtaposing life’s mundanity with sharp-witted observations.

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However, the unique flavor that dry humor brings can also be the source of its potential risks. As the article points out, the subtlety of delivery and the irony may lead to confusion. Some people may even take offense.

Dry humor may also be overused, creating a disconnect with the audience. For this reason, veteran comedians vary the delivery of their jokes or switch up their comedy styles to preserve the effectiveness of their punchlines.

Let’s switch the conversation to you, readers. Which of these epic top comments were the funniest for you? Would you read through the comments section if these were the replies you’d find? We’d like to hear from you!

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UKGrandad
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking the joke to the next level: By using ticks as their weapon, the vegans are exploiting animals for their own agenda, thereby violating their own principals. The vegans are no longer vegans. Edit: violating principles, of course. Autocorrect thought that violating principals was the more likely option 🤔

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Melody
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t keep my phone on silent because I’ve just never been able to feel phones vibrating. But I do have it set to automatically turn on do not disturb when I should be in bed. Edit: Well, I’m stupid. Of course silent or vibrate are different. I wasn’t thinking at all. But yeah, still don’t use silent except when I actually need to because I want notifications???

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Schnitzel
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My experience is that women don't seem to notice them either so it's a tiebreaker.

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BC
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely LOVED seeing Snoop at the Olympics. Almost as much as watching the US news services putting a disclaimer saying that there were two ways to read the medal tally!!! 😂😂😂

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Karina
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To ve fair, i would probably have said that too, only I do have two 😅

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SM
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always wondered about that (if it was his given name). Talk about living up to your name!

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martin734
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Err I shave, I am naturally quite hairy and I don't like body hair. Shaving everything below my neck takes time.

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Jul Chv
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sincerly. Just doing the dishes on the reg and sharing chores equally will do...

Danielle
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner came home from work with a new flavour of KitKat that he thought I would like. Not to brag.

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Shark bait hoo haha
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not my dream. I hate the color pink! And unless we are having a popping contest with a huge cash prize, that is too many balloons! I would rather be surrounded by puppies or flowers I can plant in my garden.

Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her)
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either that first statement is hyperbole or I'm not a girl cause that does not look appealing to me at freaking ALL

Liz Butt
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My comment would be WTF!!!!!!!!! Get this s**t outta my house.

Su Boddie
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as you said "Every girl's dream" your statement was incorrect.

Breadcrumb.
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spoiler. He never cleaned the house after she left for a week. He bought these balloons to hide the fact.

Lori Jabi
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutly not. It's gonna be a pain to clean that up. And sooooooo much garbage.

B
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all know she will be the one cleaning all that up. No thanks

Isa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to think that I will have to clean all the mess after...no way...nightmare yes..dream? Not even close...

Space Invader
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And every girl's nightmare is having to clean it up afterwards because the boy believes to have contributed enough for this year by arranging this surprise....

justagirl
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

na man. not a fan of balloons. maybe with family and some friends, and replace all the balloons with fluffy things. oh and my dogs. definitely my dogs.

BC
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Umm no. I have a phobia of balloons. I would genuinely be punching my way out of this horror.

J J
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine all those popping and displacing all the oxygen.

Jenny Mason
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would get pretty angry about the unnecessary use of balloons. All that stuff is going to landfills where it will take way too long to degrade and probably end up in the gullets of wild animals.

Lea S.
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yah, this isn't every girls dream. I can't stress enough to my partner that I don't want this. Please, babe, don't get me this.

Paloma Vita
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not my dream either... besides all the waste, way too much pink!

Lene
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So.... it appears that my dream is to have that sort of surprise? I hate surprises that I haven't had a chance to prepare for mentally (gifts at birthday and Christmas is ok. Gifts at random occasions... not so much). And standing in a room filled with ugly balloons (pink ain't my colour), hearing a lot of familiar voices screaming "SURPRIIIIIIIIISE!" And not being able to see them because of said balloons.... nah, I'd be crying. Are we sure the woman on the picture is not crying with anxiety? 🤔

xolitaire
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every girls nightmare is having to clean this bullsh*t up

Lena Flising
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like pink, and I don't like surprises. Perhaps because I'm a woman, not a girl...

Anonymous
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

* fails uncomfortably as balloons static cling to my hair * No, the f**k, it is NOT!

Niki A
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cannot stress this enough.... I do not want this. Too messy.

Lady Miss Pie
Community Member
Premium
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? No it’s not. I hate this kind of stuff and always have. You know what I like? When my fella cleans the apartment as a present. That’s good stuff.

David Beaulieu
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, this is like $45 of balloons and a cake. This seems doable.

Show Thyself
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too much pink. Too many balloons. Not enough cake. No drinks. That surprise sucks.

CanadianDimes
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who is afraid of balloons, this is only my dream in the sense that it's a nightmare

Michael Fernandez
Community Member
3 months ago

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DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have had one surprise birthday in my life. A lovely gesture by an elderly lady I was living with at the time.......... but as an autistic who struggles with no planning AND being around people......that had been my worst birthday. I wasn't even allowed to withdraw into the safety of my room. (I hardly even knew the people). Every birthday since then, I have just kept it a secret from everyone.

Nadine Debard
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who's gonna clean this plastic nightmare? And the confetti ballons always explode. I hate them.

Hphizzle
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Balloons like these freak me out (the potential for them to pop. Loud sudden noises scare me. Yay ADHD). This is a panic inducing situation. Surprise me with my favorite rom com, favorite food, and chilling on the couch.

Florapocalypse
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a phobia of balloons. That picture is freaking me the f**k out! I mean, I suppose a nightmare is a dream...

Blue Sky
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone sitting here going I wouldn't want this, you know you're lying to yourself. You wish someone would go to this much effort for you. Instead you lie to yourself and say oh the cleanup, oh the environment.

Mike Rodrick
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good luck with that. It's also what they believe marriage is like.

Riley Quinn
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really bad idea. I loathe surprises to the extent that I'll just do a U-turn and question the relationship. I like balloons though.

Alex Kennedy
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it a surprise? She is literally surrounded by balloons. Did someone inflate them while she was asleep in that elegant evening dress?

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Corwin 02
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Henry Ford attributes all evil to Jews or to the Jewish capitalists," . "The Jews caused the war (WW1), the Jews caused the outbreak of thieving and robbery all over the country, the Jews caused the inefficiency of the navy" Such a nice guy.....

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Kalevra
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats because bro wont let you spoon him at the beach. smh.

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Wang Zhuang
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the yellow one should be Selena Slowmez, but maybe that's just me

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DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can do stupid better.....As a kid, I used to watch prehistoric programmes (walking with dinasours/monsters etc) and actually thought the cameramen figured out how to go back in time to film them.

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The Scout
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I detest him, he takes his stunts seriously. When they made MIssion Impossible 4, it is said that they had a perfect copy of the top of the Burj Kalifa tower ready in the studio for a scene, when Tom Cruise suddenly insisted on filming on location and doing the stunts on the actual building.

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NapQueen
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And we'll need to know the expiry date and the CVV as well!

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Chicken Nugget
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

whoever can afford to buy a house tall enough to house a giraffe can afford a giraffe as well

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Chihuahua Mama
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't help but read it in my head in Lil Wayne's voice (he says basically the same line in the song Down)

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DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I look like trash either way.......but atleast I don't hide behind make up or image filters

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