Perfect. 😂😂😂

hahahahahahahahahahhaha billionare

Yes! Do as little as you can to get your pay.

Wise.

My husband struggles with subtitles... he's dyslexic. As around one in ten people are, that's going to be a lot of people who struggle with subtitles for very good reasons. Though personally I like them, but then I'm a bit deaf!!

Thank goodness we all find different people attractive. Chances are you’d die in the crush or die old and single otherwise. I’m still going down the old and single route anyway!

get into a large cardboard box and ship yourself to the seychelles, duh

at least half of all anxiety/depression is caused by not being financially stable

That's why one should not take their teenage crush/love seriously

Truth.

I would rather party outside than clean the house

Cat's still going to hog 98.5% of the bed.

As a teacher, I can confirm.

i dont need money, just a few thousand kilograms of solid gold thanks

That’s quite sweet.

Taking the joke to the next level: By using ticks as their weapon, the vegans are exploiting animals for their own agenda, thereby violating their own principals. The vegans are no longer vegans. Edit: violating principles, of course. Autocorrect thought that violating principals was the more likely option 🤔

I don’t keep my phone on silent because I’ve just never been able to feel phones vibrating. But I do have it set to automatically turn on do not disturb when I should be in bed. Edit: Well, I’m stupid. Of course silent or vibrate are different. I wasn’t thinking at all. But yeah, still don’t use silent except when I actually need to because I want notifications???

My experience is that women don't seem to notice them either so it's a tiebreaker.

Thank heavens it wasn’t a child. 🤔

she must be driving a delorean.

im bored. ooh, found some mints! want one?

I love Imagine Dragons!

It's a trap.

Can there be a third option where you push your ex down the stairs as a distraction? 🤔

Absolutely LOVED seeing Snoop at the Olympics. Almost as much as watching the US news services putting a disclaimer saying that there were two ways to read the medal tally!!! 😂😂😂

Resent your parents not the little siblings then

I literally said "oof" out loud when I read this.... That's rough.

I am never unthinking this…

ross: I'm FiIiiIIIIiiiNnnnNNeeEEEee

Geese.

Same!

To ve fair, i would probably have said that too, only I do have two 😅

Me too!

Watch the movie 'The Legacy' with Sam Elliott and Katharine Ross.

to be petty

ah s**t, here we go again...

I always wondered about that (if it was his given name). Talk about living up to your name!

Amen to that! And also I don’t like most people.

That's gin, not water

You're... embarrassed because you're *checks notes* "hungry?"

Window needs a good clean.....

Elon Musk, you are BROKE. Dirt poor broke. Prove otherwise.

Single by choice. Just not mine.

ill remove one piece of rice

Err I shave, I am naturally quite hairy and I don't like body hair. Shaving everything below my neck takes time.

*gasp* People spend time with their friends doing things they enjoy?? /s

he looks like an octopus who just had an anvil dropped on its tail

I hope his confidence goes up before he meets his lover

No, definitely not a dream of mine. What a waste of plastic and helium.