I’m sure you’re all familiar with the idea of a “bridezilla”. This term was coined by Boston Globe writer Diane White in 1995 when she was writing an article about difficult brides, and the name just stuck. By 2003, a show called Manhattan Brides, which was later renamed Bridezillas, began filming, and they’ve appeared in popular culture ever since. Movies like Bride Wars (2009) depict women planning their weddings as selfish and ruthless, but we all know that most brides-to-be aren’t actually anywhere near that unreasonable. Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, and it’s understandable to want things to be perfect.

Unfortunately, however, there are some brides out there who seem to have tunnel vision when planning their big days and have no problem steamrolling all of their loved ones along the way. So to learn more about how common it is for brides to become extremely demanding when wedding planning, we reached out to Shay Yellin, Editor in Chief of Bespoke Bride. Bespoke Bride has been voted ‘Best for Bridal’ by Cosmopolitan Magazine and listed as one of the UK’s top 10 wedding blogs, and lucky for us, Shay was happy to answer some of our burning bridal questions. 

According to Shay, it’s extremely common for brides to be particular when wedding planning. “Many of the brides we've worked with at Bespoke Bride were extremely demanding,” she told Bored Panda. “We actually think it's quite normal and reasonable for brides to become unreasonably demanding. Let's face it, it's the BIGGEST day in life for many brides. They have very specific dreams of how this day will look, so if it's not perfect - they can easily get unreasonable.”

We also asked Shay if she could share any experiences of working with particularly difficult brides. “On our Bespoke Bride shop - we sell lots of DIY wedding accessories that can easily be downloaded and printed at home,” she told Bored Panda. “These are very affordable items ranging from $4 to $6. Once we had a client bride that wanted us to re-design the entire item according to her very specific demands. We tried to help and do a few edits, but the more we did, the more she wanted us to edit again. We did a LOT of work for $6!”

When it comes to dealing with challenging brides, Shay says, “You have to be extremely calm and supportive of ‘unreasonable’ brides, even if it's tough and can sometimes make you sick. When you understand the basic psychology behind it - that this is the BIGGEST day in their lives, it makes it easier to deal with. If there are items or things that you really cannot provide - you must come up with a smart answer that details all the reasons why you cannot provide them with the item or service. And most importantly - do it diplomatically, with lots of ‘I'm so sorry!’”

Shay also provided some words of wisdom for brides who are in over their heads when wedding planning. “We totally get the brides who become overwhelmed with stress when planning their weddings, even the most ‘unreasonable’ brides,” she says. “We know how stressful it can get, but you need to always look at the other side as well. Wedding vendors will do their utmost to provide you with your wish, but it's not always possible to get EXACTLY what you want. You need to accept that and find creative ways to change your dream just a little bit.”

If you’d like more wedding planning insight and tips from the experts, be sure to visit Bespoke Bride’s website right here! 

This isn’t the first time we’ve covered brides with extreme demands here at Bored Panda, so we looked back at a previous interview with Amber Peterson, Community Manager of Planner’s Lounge, to gain more insight on the topic. When it comes to what brides are allowed to ask of their guests, Amber says, “I think brides can ask whatever they want from their guests, but do not be surprised if that means they opt out of your celebration. Asking for a specific colored attire might mean that guests have to buy something they will never wear again, and for some people, dressing in a way that makes them feel bad about their appearance.”

In reference to a bride who wanted all of her wedding guests to wear the color yellow and stay silent, Amber previously told Bored Panda, “Some couples don’t care if their guests look bad, but they will be in your wedding pictures for the rest of your life, so I would prefer that everyone looked and felt their best! Dictating how loud they can speak is not only unrealistic, but insulting! Most people know how to behave at a wedding, and if there are specific guests you are concerned about acting out, maybe do not invite those guests.”

“While the wedding is about the commitment you are making to one another, it is also about the gathering of your friends and family, and you should consider their fun and comfort,” Amber went on to explain. “Your wedding is only one day, and you do not want to make the people you love miserable in order to celebrate with you and your partner. If you are unbearable during your wedding, people will remember that for YEARS to come. Be considerate.”

Amber also says it’s important to keep your guests in mind when wedding-planning. “A wedding is a large-scale party you are hosting to celebrate your love, and your guests are invited to celebrate with you. Guests should be treated with the same respect and love you expect them to give to you as the engaged couple,” she noted. “This means making sure they are having fun, and are comfortable and at ease. This is the first event you are hosting as a married couple, so be gracious and welcoming!”

I usually love attending weddings, but this list is making me hesitant to attend any more any time soon… I don’t want to be belatedly charged for eating cake! Keep upvoting the pics you find most shocking, and feel free to share any personal experiences you’ve ever had with bridezillas in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’d like to check out another article featuring outrageous bridezilla stories, look no further than right here!