User submission 1K 157.8K ParentingJul 09, 2021 Mom Wants To Be Included In This Father-Daughter Camping Trip, Ruins It By Making It About Her Liucija Adomaite and Austėja Akavickaitė Open list comments 75 Vote arrow up Vote arrow down 237 Open list comments 75 Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Checkmark Link copied! Share icon Share Modal close ADVERTISEMENT This incident comes from a 16-year-old teen who prepared the sweetest gift for her dad for Father’s Day—a camping trip for which she saved for months. And when her mom heard about their plans, she couldn’t miss a chance to participate, although normally, when she hears about “camping, her immediate reaction is ‘ew, no way.'” But sooner than the author of this post knew it, her mother was already doing the trip her own way, from foods only she liked to activities she would shut down because “it would inconvenience her.”As you can imagine, the vibe at the campsite was not the best, and the family drama escalated up to a boiling point when the mom just told the author to go and play with kids nearby. That’s when the daughter had enough and laid all that she thought out on the table.Now she’s asking the dear people of the internet if it was an overreaction, so let us know what you think in the comments! Share iconThe story comes from a teen who meticulously planned a father-daughter weekend trip but had her mom ruin it and make it all about herImage credits: Karoly Lorentey (not the actual photo)Share iconADVERTISEMENTShare iconShare icon Share iconShare iconShare iconShare iconADVERTISEMENTShare iconShare iconADVERTISEMENTShare iconThe author added that even though the mom isn’t her biological mother, she has been treating her like she wasShare iconAnd this is what people had to comment in response to the storyShare iconShare iconShare iconShare iconShare iconADVERTISEMENTShare iconShare icon Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 158Kviews Share on Facebook Liucija Adomaite Author, Community member View profile Read more » Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read less » Liucija Adomaite Author, Community member Read more » Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read less » View profile Austėja Akavickaitė Author, Community member View profile Follow Read more » Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. Read less » Austėja Akavickaitė Author, Community member Read more » Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. Read less » View profile Follow Show All Contributors Hide Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! What do you think ? Add photo comments POST iblowsheep iblowsheep Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I think mom is a narcissist, and dad should have stepped in on his daughter's behalf. He probably didn't because he has to suffer the consequences of his wife's narcissism too. likely his calling out his daughter's comments was more about self preservation than really thinking she was TA. But then again, maybe the girl has the situation distorted a bit being young and having a still developing brain it might not be too far fetched. Vote comment up 83 83points Vote comment down reply Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report You hit it right on the nose. This is my own family dynamic, except bio-mom and step-dad. She too turns on the tears when you tell her about herself and point out her wrongdoing. Totally turns it back around. Vote comment up 30 30points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Furious George Furious George Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I 100% agree with this. I'm assuming it was an exasperated response like "you shouldn't have upset your mother". That kind of nightmare personality always works out that way. Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply Grace and Lucy Grace and Lucy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Yes. I was thinking the same. The step-mom is a narcissist and that is not going to change. Do some reading about the traits of narcissism and that will help you to set your boundaries, especially as you get older. Narcissist don't change because they are without the ability to understand their motives and drives. Conflicts are the fault of others, never their mistake. Vote comment up 1 1point Vote comment down reply Jennifer Hanks Jennifer Hanks Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report First, what a thoughtful and loving daughter you are! A gift like that from one of my sons would make my YEAR! Secondly, if my husband said, "I want to go too" on my special Mother's Day trip, I would have gently suggested that we plan another trip for the whole family as I would understand my child's intention. In my view, your dad should have seen your desire to have this special trip with him, giving him what HE liked at great cost to you, and protected and cherished that time. You were generous to include her, even though it messed up your plans and your budget. I'm so sorry they didn't see that - parents mess up all the time, just like everybody else! You are a special young lady - keep being the lovely, giving young person you obviously are! Vote comment up 69 69points Vote comment down reply Paddling Panda Paddling Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Jennifer Hanks: YES!! To everything you've written here. <3 Vote comment up 11 11points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... kurisutofu kurisutofu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I would feel so betrayed by the dad. He's not even capable of understanding that she did that for him... That would be my last present for him, ever. Vote comment up 68 68points Vote comment down reply Casey B Casey B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report @John C you speak of "leveling" as if it's a positive parenting technique, it's not. Children are meant to be lifted up higher than ourselves. The dad's attempt at leveling would have brought his daughter down to the same selfish, immature level as his wife. Vote comment up 7 7points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Paradise Paradise Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report John C: nope Vote comment up 2 2points Vote comment down reply John C John C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report As a father of 2 daughters (and someone very familiar with being the only male in a house of females), let me clue you in: her gift was not lost on him. I see him as employing the same tactic I do: leveling. Everything is a compromise and I call it as I see it. Yes, the mom horned in on the weekend, but given the situation for what it was in that moment, there's no excuse to act like that to mom. It's vitally important for parents to present a united front, even when you don't necessarily agree. These are some lessons I've learned as a husband and father. Vote comment up -46 -46points Vote comment down reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report It's vital to stick up for your kids when a parent is flat out wrong. Parents need to apologize to their children when they are flat out shitty parents. Mom for being an entitled asshole and dad for letting it happen. Wtf. Your girls know you're keeping the peace instead of standing up for what's right. That's spineless and not a lesson you should be teaching especially to girls that their feelings do not matter as long as the adults say so. You are not 100% right always bc you're the parent and I can see this just from your comment. Can't imagine what your kids see. This is coming from a 50yr old mother of two teen girls. Empathy needs to be taught especially by example. Vote comment up 38 38points Vote comment down reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And to call your girls females is frigging weird. You sound like a cop and you're talking about a suspect. Emotionless. That's what I see. Therapy would help you so much. Poor young girls to have this as an example. They'll never be able to deal w their emotions bc you can't. I'm sure they aren't allowed to have difficult feelings bc you can't deal w them. Talk about passing on generational trauma. Men have emotions too just as many as women. At your age and being a father you should know this by now Vote comment up 18 18points Vote comment down reply kurisutofu kurisutofu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Oh I see! Thanks for the perspective! So if your wife starts burning cigarettes on your kid's face, you should present a united front and help her burn them! I never thought of it like that! Now I understand the stories of spouses that help their husband rape girls, thanks for enlightening us! Now, I'll stop with sarcasm and say that I hope your daughters never realize that their father is not capable of assessing a situation fairly and be on their side when needed. I pity them. Vote comment up 15 15points Vote comment down reply Bear42212 Bear42212 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report That's the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. That's nowhere near what he said. She wasn't being abused. You're taking about physical abuse. You seriously are beyond ridiculous. Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply BRAD MATSON BRAD MATSON Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And THAT is how you lose your kids trust in you and why they hide things. That gap widens to a chasm over the years. Vote comment up 13 13points Vote comment down reply Potato Potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report "I call it as I see it" -- well, if that's the case, why not call out mom's bs? Compromise must come from mom as well. And what does being the only male around a bunch of females have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that your actions would be different if you had sons? That's so wrong; men and women aren't that different. Much of our differences originate from our upbringing. Vote comment up 9 9points Vote comment down reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report So, John were this ONE of your daughter's excursions to the nail salon with mom and you horned in and changed the outcome of the event, that's cool too? Nope yourself out and be the bigger parent, because this was a childish thing to do to over ride the trip that was not funded by you. Vote comment up 5 5points Vote comment down reply Load More Comments POST iblowsheep iblowsheep Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I think mom is a narcissist, and dad should have stepped in on his daughter's behalf. He probably didn't because he has to suffer the consequences of his wife's narcissism too. likely his calling out his daughter's comments was more about self preservation than really thinking she was TA. But then again, maybe the girl has the situation distorted a bit being young and having a still developing brain it might not be too far fetched. Vote comment up 83 83points Vote comment down reply Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report You hit it right on the nose. This is my own family dynamic, except bio-mom and step-dad. She too turns on the tears when you tell her about herself and point out her wrongdoing. Totally turns it back around. Vote comment up 30 30points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Furious George Furious George Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I 100% agree with this. I'm assuming it was an exasperated response like "you shouldn't have upset your mother". That kind of nightmare personality always works out that way. Vote comment up 8 8points Vote comment down reply Grace and Lucy Grace and Lucy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Yes. I was thinking the same. The step-mom is a narcissist and that is not going to change. Do some reading about the traits of narcissism and that will help you to set your boundaries, especially as you get older. Narcissist don't change because they are without the ability to understand their motives and drives. Conflicts are the fault of others, never their mistake. Vote comment up 1 1point Vote comment down reply Jennifer Hanks Jennifer Hanks Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report First, what a thoughtful and loving daughter you are! A gift like that from one of my sons would make my YEAR! Secondly, if my husband said, "I want to go too" on my special Mother's Day trip, I would have gently suggested that we plan another trip for the whole family as I would understand my child's intention. In my view, your dad should have seen your desire to have this special trip with him, giving him what HE liked at great cost to you, and protected and cherished that time. You were generous to include her, even though it messed up your plans and your budget. I'm so sorry they didn't see that - parents mess up all the time, just like everybody else! You are a special young lady - keep being the lovely, giving young person you obviously are! Vote comment up 69 69points Vote comment down reply Paddling Panda Paddling Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Jennifer Hanks: YES!! To everything you've written here. <3 Vote comment up 11 11points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... kurisutofu kurisutofu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report I would feel so betrayed by the dad. He's not even capable of understanding that she did that for him... That would be my last present for him, ever. Vote comment up 68 68points Vote comment down reply Casey B Casey B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report @John C you speak of "leveling" as if it's a positive parenting technique, it's not. Children are meant to be lifted up higher than ourselves. The dad's attempt at leveling would have brought his daughter down to the same selfish, immature level as his wife. Vote comment up 7 7points Vote comment down reply Load More Replies... Paradise Paradise Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report John C: nope Vote comment up 2 2points Vote comment down reply John C John C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report As a father of 2 daughters (and someone very familiar with being the only male in a house of females), let me clue you in: her gift was not lost on him. I see him as employing the same tactic I do: leveling. Everything is a compromise and I call it as I see it. Yes, the mom horned in on the weekend, but given the situation for what it was in that moment, there's no excuse to act like that to mom. It's vitally important for parents to present a united front, even when you don't necessarily agree. These are some lessons I've learned as a husband and father. Vote comment up -46 -46points Vote comment down reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report It's vital to stick up for your kids when a parent is flat out wrong. Parents need to apologize to their children when they are flat out shitty parents. Mom for being an entitled asshole and dad for letting it happen. Wtf. Your girls know you're keeping the peace instead of standing up for what's right. That's spineless and not a lesson you should be teaching especially to girls that their feelings do not matter as long as the adults say so. You are not 100% right always bc you're the parent and I can see this just from your comment. Can't imagine what your kids see. This is coming from a 50yr old mother of two teen girls. Empathy needs to be taught especially by example. Vote comment up 38 38points Vote comment down reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And to call your girls females is frigging weird. You sound like a cop and you're talking about a suspect. Emotionless. That's what I see. Therapy would help you so much. Poor young girls to have this as an example. They'll never be able to deal w their emotions bc you can't. I'm sure they aren't allowed to have difficult feelings bc you can't deal w them. Talk about passing on generational trauma. Men have emotions too just as many as women. At your age and being a father you should know this by now Vote comment up 18 18points Vote comment down reply kurisutofu kurisutofu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report Oh I see! Thanks for the perspective! So if your wife starts burning cigarettes on your kid's face, you should present a united front and help her burn them! I never thought of it like that! Now I understand the stories of spouses that help their husband rape girls, thanks for enlightening us! Now, I'll stop with sarcasm and say that I hope your daughters never realize that their father is not capable of assessing a situation fairly and be on their side when needed. I pity them. Vote comment up 15 15points Vote comment down reply Bear42212 Bear42212 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report That's the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. That's nowhere near what he said. She wasn't being abused. You're taking about physical abuse. You seriously are beyond ridiculous. Vote comment up 0 0points Vote comment down reply BRAD MATSON BRAD MATSON Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report And THAT is how you lose your kids trust in you and why they hide things. That gap widens to a chasm over the years. Vote comment up 13 13points Vote comment down reply Potato Potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report "I call it as I see it" -- well, if that's the case, why not call out mom's bs? Compromise must come from mom as well. And what does being the only male around a bunch of females have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that your actions would be different if you had sons? That's so wrong; men and women aren't that different. Much of our differences originate from our upbringing. Vote comment up 9 9points Vote comment down reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report So, John were this ONE of your daughter's excursions to the nail salon with mom and you horned in and changed the outcome of the event, that's cool too? Nope yourself out and be the bigger parent, because this was a childish thing to do to over ride the trip that was not funded by you. 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