It’s a privilege to get invited to a wedding. Your presence is a testament to the bond you share with the couple, and a chance to show your support for their commitment to each other.

However, when Reddit user Clear_Skye_ was getting married, her mother, instead of celebrating the new chapter in her daughter’s life, tried to make the moment about herself.

In a post on the subreddit ‘Entitled Parents,’ Clear_Skye_ explained that the disruptive behavior led to a regrettable family rift that deeply saddened her.

This woman was having a magical wedding, but her mother ruined it

Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)

While trying to make the moment about herself

Image credits: Toàn Đỗ Công / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Clear_Skye_

Despite the woman’s effort to communicate with her mom, it seems that the lady just isn’t getting the message

We managed to get in touch with Clear_Skye_ and she was kind enough to have a chat with us. “The relationship I had with my mom before the wedding was a pretty normal one, I guess,” the Redditor told Bored Panda. “She was a bit frustrating at times but nothing too serious.”

Which is something her partner couldn’t agree to. “The relationship between my wife and my mom was always very strained, though, and neither of us could really ever work out why.”

“We think there is a strong chance that my mom could not fight the underlying resentment for my wife ‘taking me from her,'” she added.

Because of that, Clear_Skye_ has had a hunch that the wedding might have prompted her to act out. “We paid for her to be included in getting her nails done, etc. with the bridal party just to try and make her feel more included. It didn’t feel very appreciated, though,” the woman explained. “While I expected some level of annoyance, but still, what actually happened was way beyond anything we could have imagined.”

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Landis Bejar, a licensed New York State Mental Health Counselor and owner of AisleTalk, a company that provides therapy and counseling services specifically to brides and their families, says there’s s a difference between a family member being annoying versus simply unbearable.

“A person or a relationship is toxic when he or she causes you serious harm or emotional pain on a regular or recurring basis,” Bejar explains. “It’s usually not that the person is toxic, but rather, the relationship between you is toxic. Or their behavior is. Or both.”

If a person finds themselves dealing with negativity from family, step one is to address it directly.

So kudos to Clear_Skye_ for trying to talk to her mom about the whole ordeal afterward. However, even though some people are clueless about the impact they have on others, it sounds like pointing things out didn’t solve this particular problem.

“If they minimize your experience, get defensive about their behavior, or manipulate the conversation to change the topic or ‘play the victim,’ this is a result of (more) toxic behavior,” says Bejar. “It is an indicator that you should set firmer boundaries.”

This doesn’t necessarily mean shutting them out of your life or cutting them off completely; the main objective is to create distance.

Clear_Skye thinks her mom isn’t hostile: “She’s just very narcissistic. She makes me sad or frustrated (or both) every time I see her, so it’s reaching a point where I just… don’t want to see her or talk to her anymore because it just hurts every time I do.”

“My mom doesn’t have the emotional maturity to acknowledge any issues with the relationship, she just tries to pretend everything is cool,” the woman added. “It has worked in the past and I would crumble, because I do miss her but this time feels different.”

Clear_Skye_ said it’s been “longer than ever” but she’s feeling better for not having to deal with her emotions being damaged regularly. “I am not sure how this will change over the coming months and years. At the moment, I am happier with some distance between us.”

High emotions, free-flowing alcohol, and certain seating arrangements can trigger Game of Thrones-level animosity. But in this case, the issues appear to stem from deeper interpersonal dynamics within the family.

As difficult as this can be, at least the woman has a strong support cast around her.

As her story went viral, the original poster (OP) joined the discussion in the comments

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