Far from every relationship is going to end up being healthy, happy, and long-lasting—people break up all the time and continue searching for someone whom they love, can fully trust, and who has similar values as they do. But it doesn’t mean that you have to be at war with your exes. It’s perfectly possible to stay civil, as you move on with your lives.
However, some folks are beyond entitled. They believe that even if the relationships are over, their exes still owe them something, whether that’s continued access to their Netflix or car rides. Bored Panda has collected some of the most bratty and petty messages that people have ever gotten from their exes, as shared on Reddit. Scroll down to see the best of the worst.
Bored Panda reached out to dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, who shed some light on what to keep in mind when breaking up with someone and the importance of clarity and boundaries after the breakup. Read on for our interview with him.
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Oh, Well That Makes It All Better
We were curious about what someone should keep in mind when breaking up with their partner in order to end things as civilly as possible. Dan, the founder of The Modern Man project, was kind enough to share his take.
"Say something positive about the person (e.g. you're loyal, supportive, can be a lot of fun to be around) and then add in that you don't believe the relationship will work in the long run and as a result, you don't want to lead them on any more," he told Bored Panda.
"For you, the feelings you really wanted to experience in the relationship just weren't there. Then, wish them the best and say that you're sure they will find the right person for them."
Friend Of My Ex Has Been Using My Netflix Details Without My Knowledge For Years. Calls Me Cheap
My Ex Messaged Me On Her Cosmetic Profile At 7 AM To Tell Me I Threatened Her Friend In A Bar... 3500 Miles Away
The dating expert noted that the person being broken up with will usually end up saying something to the tune of, "But, you are the right person for me. Please just give me a chance."
"You can then say, 'I understand that you feel that way, but I don’t want to give you the impression that I will change my mind about this. It's over between us and I'm going to move on now because the feelings I really wanted to experience never happened in the relationship. I hope you can respect my decision to move on and then begin to move on when you are ready."
Meanwhile, we were curious about what someone might do if their ex continues to badger them after the breakup, expecting preferential treatment or simply having a hard time letting go.
Asking Her Partner’s Ex-Wife For Her Child’s Designer Clothes, Proceeds To Call Her A Silly Goose And Throw A Strop When She Doesn’t Get What She Wants
My Homie's Ex Hit Him Up. Yikes
The Ex-Girlfriend Of One Of My Buds Has Been Making Quite A Few Indirects Lately, Including This
"After a breakup, it's important to politely set and maintain boundaries to ensure that you're not sending mixed messages, or giving false hope," the expert said.
"For example: If an ex is asking you to give them a ride somewhere, or come as a plus one to a wedding, a polite response like this will usually help send the right message, 'You know I would have happily done that for you if we were a couple. Yet, we are broken up now, so it's no longer something I am available for. Thanks for understanding. All the best,'" the founder of The Modern Man told Bored Panda.
Rebecca Hendrix, a psychotherapist in New York City, told Glamour magazine that one thing that you should do is talk to your partner about the doubts you’re having about the relationship before you actually break up with them.
“I've seen people do ‘surprise breakups' where you think everything is amazing and then the person is like, I'm leaving today,” Hendrix explained that this sort of situation can be traumatizing and very hard to get over. Instead, by sharing your concerns and being honest about the situation, the break-up can be ‘cleaner’ or the relationship can actually end up being saved.
Her Broke Baby Daddy/Ex-Boyfriend Is Absolutely Floored That She Changed Her Netflix Password
My Coworker Asked His Ex About Her Birthday. I Never Could Have Imagined How Selfish Some People Can Be. Her Sister Is Fine By The Way
My Ex Asking Me To Take Her To Pick Up Her Boyfriend From Jail And Her Response When I Said No
Meanwhile, New York Times bestselling author Mark Manson notes that you should always try to break up in person. “Yeah, it’s harder. But suck it up. And if possible, don’t do it in public. Being in public makes people feel limited in what they can express, whether it be final words they’d like to say to you, or dishes they’d like to break,” he writes.
According to Manson, the person who broke up with their partner shouldn’t try to make them feel better. “Once the relationship is severed, the other person’s emotions are no longer your responsibility. And not only is it no longer your responsibility to help them cope, but comforting them will likely make them feel worse. It can also backfire in that it will just make them resent you more for being so nice (while dumping them),” he explains.
Broke Ex Wants Food After Really Bad Breakup, Complains Free Food Was Not What He Wanted
My Ex That I Haven’t Talked To In 6 Months Had To Audacity To Ask To Renew My Netflix Account So She Can Use It
My 36-Year-Old Ex-Husband
There’s a huge range of reasons why someone might break up, even if the relationship seems picture-perfect from an outsider’s perspective. The couple might have very different goals in life, for instance. If one partner wants to move halfway across the world to pursue a career in art while the other wants to stay and take over the family business, things are bound to get rocky. Long-distance isn’t something that works for everyone.
And you need to be realistic and practical about whether or not you can make it work. Do you have the time and finances to travel and visit your partner? Are you going to be able to handle the loneliness? How are you going to juggle your calls when you live in radically different time zones?
Called Out By An Ex-Lover
My Ex-Fiancé Likes To Slide Into My Texts Every 6 Months Or So
I feel like it’s important to share that I’m 28 and we broke up 7 years ago. I’m married to someone else now, and his mom passed away about 6 months ago.
An Actual Text Between A Friend Of Mine And His Ex
Or the couple might disagree about some of the more important questions in life, like whether or not they want to get married and have kids. If you’re not on the same page regarding these things, odds are that there’s not much of a future for the two of you. At some point, you'll have to choose either your principles or the person you love.
I Haven’t Spoken To My Ex-Husband In 2 Years. Looks Like He Should’ve Included “Access To HBO” In The Divorce Proceedings
My Ex's Mom Sent This To Me After Asking For Percocet And I Said No
Partner's Ex Wanted Me To Do A Free Professional Photoshoot For Her Birthday
You might have amazing chemistry, but unless one of you radically changes your values, it’s going to be tough moving forward. People can and do change their minds about building a family, but neither partner should feel like they have to pressure the other to conform to their choices. That’ll only lead to frustration and resentment.
My Sister Got This Message From My Ex. We Haven’t Spoken To Her In Over 5 Years
Guy Washes Clothes For His Ex-Wife Because She Doesn't Have A Washer Or Dryer. She Posts This Online Because He Didn't Fold Them For Her As Well
Choosing Beggar Ex-GF Is Willing To Give Me Another Chance After She Spent 2 Months Lying And Manipulating Me For $50
Other couples might break up because one or both partners are no longer attracted to each other. Some people end up cheating, whether because they simply had the opportunity to do so or because they needed emotional and physical closeness—something they might not have gotten at home.
My Ex-Girlfriend. Self Explanatory To Get A Cheaper Cutting Board
Coworker’s Ex Just Can’t Understand Why She Should Have To Pay For Her Own Spotify
That Time My Ex Asked Me To Use My Veteran's Benefits To Buy Him A House. He Can't Even Get An Apartment
Mutual attraction and trust are essential to long-lasting relationships. As are proper communication and setting boundaries. Many relationship issues can be traced back to a lack of open and honest communication—some folks simply assume that their partner should be able to pick up on what they’re doing ‘wrong’ all on their own. And while being perceptive is an amazing skill to have, the fact of the matter is that people can’t read minds.
3 Years Ago, My Ex-Wife Was Concerned About Losing Her Alimony If She Remarried. At The Time Said I’d Pay It For At Least Another Year. That Was Forgotten Until This Morning
Ex Hit Me With This Gem 6 Months After Not Having Any Kind Of Physical Or Verbal Contact With Her
My Ex-Boyfriend Of 8 Months
If there’s a problem, you need to speak up about it. And this applies to all issues, whether it has something to do with that pile of unwashed dishes stinking up the sink, the garage that hasn’t been tidied up in years (as was promised), or a lack of physical intimacy in recent months. If being subtle doesn’t help, try to be more direct. But remember—you’re supposed to be on the same team, so don’t attack your partner; stay calm, and be willing to hear out their side of the story, too.
My Ex-Wife Complains About Our Cat But Doesn’t Want To Do Anything About It
My Ex-Boyfriend Has Been Sending Me Texts Nonstop. I Sent A Message Explaining That Me Moving Out And Us Breaking Up Is For The Best, And This Was His Response
Ex Owes Me $500, Gets Sassy When I Consider Taking My iPhone Back
You're the reason why this world is so f****d up.
Load More Replies...Which of these message screenshots did you feel were the pettiest and most entitled, dear Pandas? Have you ever had to deal with a bratty ex before? Do you think that people can genuinely stay friends after they break up or should they move on with their lives? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section at the bottom of this list.
My Boyfriend’s Ex Was Wild
Ex Asks For More Money After Breaking Up. Already Gave $150 To Him For An "Emergency"
Got This Text From My Ex. I See Now I Definitely Deserve Better. I Was Shaking And Crying And My Mom Called Him
More Fun Texts From The Darling Ex-Husband
My Ex-Girlfriend Lied To Me About Breaking Up With Me For Her Mental Health. She Got With Someone A Few Days Later
Today she asked for the Christmas gift she gave me while we were dating.
Absolutely Not
Sure, My Ex Totally Didn't Mean To Send Me A Selfie With Her Marriage Certificate
Had My Ex Disappointed I Wouldn't Do Free Work For "Up-And-Comming-Rapper" Friend. Apparently I'm A Bad Example For My Kids
My Ex Who Owes Me Close To 30k. Last Texts To Me Before Blocking Me Completely
Ex-Girlfriend Texts Me At Around 11:30 For A Hookup. She's Married And Her Army Husband Is Deployed
Ex Says It Was An Accident Three Different Times When She Blocked Me. Called To See What The Hell She Wanted. Didn’t Answer Obviously
Should the first name be covered when I want to prove it’s her in both.
We Love Abusive Ex Texts
Jack's Ex-GF Is Back And Still Demanding Boosts On WOW
Some Texts From A Psycho Ex-Boyfriend From A Little Over A Year Ago. By The Way, He Was Never On Meds He Refused Them, And Therapy
My Ex-Wife's Response To Why She Could Be Trusted Not To Have Another Affair
Friend's Ex-Wife Is Ungrateful For His Continued Post-Relationship Financial Support
Someone That Gets Engaged To Another Person Just To Piss Of Their Ex Is A Really Trashy Human Being
Savage
Seems To Be Going Well
Ex Tries To Get Me To Give Her Some Of My DVDs I Lent Out And My Violin. This Is About A Week Before Christmas (Via A Friend Because I Blocked Her Number A While Ago)
I don't understand why after 3, 6, 9 months; a year, 2 years, 3 years...etc... these people are STILL LETTING THEIR EXES BE IN CONTACT WITH THEM. I was married to my now-ex for 20 years and after we divorced (and since the kids were grown) I blocked him on everything and my kids know not to give him my info. His drama was the reason for the divorce (drugs, prison, lying, cheating) WHY would I want to keep dealing with it AFTER the divorce? Block, block, block. Blocking is your friend! As for the ones using animals for guilt trips: If you don't care enough about your pets to give them a healthy and happy life then DON'T HAVE PETS! They're not pawns for your sick little guilt trips to your exes! Rant over...carry on...
I don't understand why after 3, 6, 9 months; a year, 2 years, 3 years...etc... these people are STILL LETTING THEIR EXES BE IN CONTACT WITH THEM. I was married to my now-ex for 20 years and after we divorced (and since the kids were grown) I blocked him on everything and my kids know not to give him my info. His drama was the reason for the divorce (drugs, prison, lying, cheating) WHY would I want to keep dealing with it AFTER the divorce? Block, block, block. Blocking is your friend! As for the ones using animals for guilt trips: If you don't care enough about your pets to give them a healthy and happy life then DON'T HAVE PETS! They're not pawns for your sick little guilt trips to your exes! Rant over...carry on...