Planning a wedding can be a real headache. With so much to take care of, it’s usually difficult enough as it is, yet it gets even harder when family members have special requests.

The soon-to-be-wed redditor tigerlily47 opened up to the ‘Wedding Shaming’ online community about how she had to deal with her cousin’s demands. The relative requested specific seating arrangements, and things to do and eat for her kids, for what was supposed to be a child-free wedding. Needless to say, the bride didn’t appreciate the added stress.

A bride planning her wedding spoke about an entitled cousin’s requests

Image credits: ametov41 (not the actual photo)

The couple couldn’t welcome all the relatives so they decided to invite some of them, but without the children

A cousin made assumptions about being invited and bringing her kids before she even got the save-the-date

Image credits: Lana_M (not the actual photo)

The bride was taken aback by their relative’s sense of entitlement

Image credits: Dimaberlin (not the actual photo)

Image credits: tigerlily47

Similarly to the cousin in the story, some relatives feel entitled to certain things just because of blood ties. However, sharing the same family tree does not automatically mean having a close relationship. Some studies even suggest that, in the long run, friends can be equally as—if not more—important to one’s well-being as family members. The idea that blood is thicker than water isn’t always correct.

Another study revealed that the larger part (nearly 59%) of an average personal network consists of non-family members. It shows that it’s not genealogy that determines the strength of the connection. Especially if there has hardly been any communication in the family in the recent years—five, to be exact, in the OP’s case. This is what makes the cousin’s requests not only egotistical but unfounded as well.

Image credits: Anntua (not the actual photo)

The fact that the wedding should be all about the newlyweds does not bother such entitled people the slightest bit. They put their needs alongside the desires of the happy couple, who have enough things on their plate as it is. Arranging every detail, bearing the financial load, determining the guestlist—none of these are an easy task to do. According to The Knot, working out the budget and the invitation list are two of the main headaches when it comes to wedding planning (with 47% and 36% respondents respectively stating so).

To make matters worse, the two are very closely intertwined—the size of the wedding fund is very likely to affect the number on the guestlist. That might lead to having to cross people off it or have a child-free wedding, for instance. Such decisions don’t sound that crazy, considering that the cost per person in a wedding has gone over $250 in recent years. Due to the rising prices, as much as 39% of couples narrow down their guest lists by 25 people on average. The financial aspect might also be one of the reasons more than half of couples are considering eloping.

Image credits: Omelnickiy (not the actual photo)

A wedding ceremony is not the time to put yourself in the spotlight, unless you’re the happy couple standing at the altar. That’s why it’s important to respect the requests on the save-the-date. It is also crucial to wait for an invite before assuming you’re expected at the wedding. The OP’s example showed that such expectations, not to mention the presumptuous requests, only cause unnecessary stress and do nothing to change the course of the wedding planning. Most importantly, it surely doesn’t improve the relationship between the two relatives.

The post started a discussion in the comments, where the OP shared some more of her story

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