Do you have any siblings, pandas? Apparently, about 82% of us do, which means you likely know the experience of having to share everything while growing up. You might remember getting picked on by an older brother or sister, or perhaps doing the "picking" yourself, if you happen to be the oldest. Sibling relationships are often rocky while we’re young and growing up, as we can be competitive with one another or frustrated when it feels like we don't all receive the same treatment. But especially by the time we reach adulthood, our siblings can become our best friends. They were our first friends anyway, so why not nurture that relationship for the rest of our lives?

Your brothers and sisters can understand you in a way that even your closest friends may not, as they grew up in the same household and shared similar experiences. But unfortunately, the sibling to best friend pipeline doesn’t work for everyone. And sometimes becoming adults leads to an even greater wedge forming between brothers and sisters. This list features some shockingly egregious examples of sibling behavior that might inspire you to send a quick text to your brothers or sisters letting you know that you love them. And you appreciate them for never demanding money from you… 

If you and your siblings can’t seem to be in the same room together for more than an hour without getting under one another’s skin, know that you’re not alone. Sadly, it’s quite common to have to deal with conflicts between siblings, even as adults, so Kristin McCarthy wrote a piece for Love to Know discussing this topic. Kristin notes that it can first be helpful to get to the bottom of where this conflict is stemming from. 

It might be because you and your sibling have different relationships with your fellow family members, such as being much closer to your parents or another sibling. Or perhaps the conflict is rooted in competition between the two of you or an ongoing sibling rivalry that never seems to end. Whatever the cause may be, it’s best to identify it to work on resolving it.

Kristin goes on to write that, if you and your sibling are able to sit down and attempt to work through your issues, try to confront the conflict head-on. “While you may have stress and anxiety over sitting down with them, it is important that this initial step be made so you can move towards a place where you are comfortable in close proximity, despite differences. If you decide to meet up, pick a location that is comfortable for everyone, yet also neutral. You'll want to be on as even ground as possible for this.”

When it comes to resolving conflicts with a sibling, Kristin recommends following a few basic guidelines: present your problems, use “I” statements to avoid playing the blame game, remain calm, practice active listening, offer possible solutions, and check back in later. Issues don’t usually disappear overnight, but with some effort on both sides, wounds can be healed. 

Then it’s best to work on preventing any future conflicts. To do so, Kristin notes that it can be helpful to focus on preparing yourself before the next interaction you have with this sibling. “Consider all the possibilities surrounding the meeting. This mental preparation will help you calm your anxiety beforehand,” she writes. Then, remember to avoid confrontational conversation. If certain topics always lead to an argument, just skip them altogether. If a situation becomes uncomfortable, try to shut it down before it escalates, and if it comes down to it, simply limit your interactions with one another altogether. 

If the issue at hand does happen to be a sibling rivalry, Dr. Elizabeth Scott wrote an article discussing how to handle the accompanying stress of sibling rivalries for VeryWell Mind. She first notes that instead of immediately jumping to frustration with your sibling, it might be helpful to understand where the rivalry started. They often come from parental favoritism, which can cause lasting impacts on children. If the rivalry began in adulthood, however, it might have been caused by geographical proximity, shared personality features, or other factors such as personal views. 

Wherever the rivalry stems from, however, Dr. Scott urges readers to try not to take it personally. “Understand that your parent may not ‘love’ the other sibling more, they just feel closer or more invested in their lives, for whatever reason,” she writes. “They may not even be aware of it, and most likely are not doing it to hurt your feelings.” 

But if you’re having trouble coping with an adult sibling rivalry, Dr. Scott recommends finding support elsewhere in your life, such as among friends or other family members who make you feel loved unconditionally. And resist the urge to perpetuate your sibling rivalry. Don’t go out of your way to compete or blame them for being favored. “You’ll also feel better if you accept that you may not get as much support and approval from parents as you want, and that’s okay,” Dr. Scott notes. “If you don’t come at them from a place of need, you will actually have more personal power.” Finally, remember to focus on what’s most important: your own family and nurturing the relationships that are most meaningful to you. 

The examples on this list are mainly siblings who have exhibited extremely entitled behavior, but all sorts of issues can cause rifts in sibling relationships. If you need some advice for how to get along well with your adult siblings, here are some tips from Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University in Boston. She first recommends making time to see one another outside of your familial obligations, like going to mom and dad’s for holidays. She also recommends resisting the urge to assume you know things about your sibling just because you grew up together. Allow them to tell and show you who they are now and have honest conversations about how you remember growing up and how things have changed. 

Kramer also reminds that siblings must remember to stop comparing themselves to one another. “Just as when your younger brother got a bigger slice of cake, it might not seem fair that, as an adult, they end up with a better job or bigger house,” Katie Hunt writes for CNN Health. “But these are old feelings that don’t stand up to honest scrutiny. We all make different choices, and there’s no innate reason your path should be similar to your sibling’s.”

Despite the fact that you share about 50% of your DNA with your siblings, you don’t always need to maintain relationships with them. If you’ve worked hard for years attempting to mend your relationship to no avail, it might be healthier for you to just stop trying. “When or how a person might know it’s time to cut ties completely depends on the individual situation and comfort level. If there’s persistent emotional manipulation, physical abuse, or other unhealthy or destructive behaviors that are causing harm, then it may be best to end the relationship,” says Kalley Hartman, clinical director at Ocean Recovery in Newport Beach, California. “If they’re not good for you emotionally, psychologically, or physically, it’s better to have a chosen family with friends, rather than sibling relationships chosen for us — especially if nothing’s going to change in that sibling dynamic.”

I genuinely hope that you pandas cannot relate to the posts on this list, but if you can, remember that it’s totally fine to set boundaries with your brothers and sisters. Just because you grew up together doesn’t mean that they’re entitled to treat you however they like. Keep upvoting the pictures that you find most appalling, and then let us know in the comments below if you have any personal stories of sibling entitlement to share. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring relatives who don’t understand boundaries or manners, you can find more “choosing beggars” right here!