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148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom

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For some, their English teacher was the reason they fell in love with English literature and linguistics. For others, their English professor was precisely why they dedicated their lives to the field of natural sciences instead. We bet the very first English jokes for teachers came from the second group of people.

Whichever the case might be, good or bad, hilarious or not, we should all be grateful to our English teachers for guiding us on the extensive learning journey of the language spoken by over 1.5 billion people worldwide.

However, there’s one more thing that we should be grateful to our English tutors for. And that’s all the English jokes for teachers and puns worth getting an F for. Isn’t it ironic that we use the language they taught against them to make funny English teacher jokes? Oh, how the tables have turned. You better believe our English teachers would be proud of us for using this idiom!

However, don’t take these funny teacher jokes too seriously, but as tongue-in-cheek or light-hearted humor instead. And it’s very likely that the English professors themselves would have a good giggle at these puns for teachers.

Below, we’ve compiled a list of funny jokes for teachers that will surely bring a bit of fun into the classroom or the mysterious place no student has ever stepped foot in, aka the teachers’ room. Whether it was a bad teacher experience or a hilarious mistake in the class, we bet you’ll find something relatable.

Do you know any more jokes for teachers and students? Let us know! And also, make sure to upvote your favorite from 148 funny jokes about teachers!

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#1

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I bumped into my old English teacher that I fancied. ‘What’s new?’ she asked. I said, ‘An adjective.’”

49points

Vanessa Seijas Pacheco 2 years ago

The word "new" is an adjective

3points

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#2

What do you say when your English teacher is crying?

"There, their, they're."

48points

Stormy 2 years ago

❤️ 🤣

6points

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#3

"My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel. I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me."

43points

Valentin Stanescu 2 years ago

Pute stand-up comedy gold. 🤭

6points

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#4

"My english teacher told me that the file I sent her was corrupt, and that she couldn't open it. I suggested bribing it."

40points

Stormy 2 years ago

😏 🤣

7points

#5

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher? A programmar.”

39points

Kristin T-K 2 years ago

Only if they're paid for it. Otherwise it's an amateur grammar.

5points

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#6

To the English teacher that stole my calendar. "Your days are numbered. Mark my words."

38points

M. R. 2 years ago

It should be “who” stole my calendar.

10points

#7

The English teacher wished the class good luck before the poetry test. She said, "Metaphors be with you!"

37points

Lady in the Water 2 years ago

And all the students knew that this was the chosen master - who would take them from being simple poetdawans to Jediwritery success one day...

0points

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#8

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know why.”

36points

Stormy 2 years ago (edited)

🤣 Run-on sentence. Replace comma with a semicolon. 😏

10points

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#9

What does English teachers do on Reddit?

Edit grammar.

35points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

What DO English teachers do on Reddit? They eddit.

11points

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#10

"My English teacher constantly makes fun of me, because I confuse my prepositions. He's always rubbing it out."

32points

Emily V 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣

3points

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#11

A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"

"You mean history."

"Don't change the subject!"

29points

debora shuger 2 years ago

I think "geography" is a predicate nominative, not a subject. And, yes, I am an English teacher.

4points

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#12

"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."

29points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Oh please, don't tell me it was all centered!

5points

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#13

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “English teacher: ‘Give me the opposite of this sentence: Children in the dark make mistakes.’

Student: ‘Mistakes in the dark make children.’

Teacher: ‘Get out.’”

28points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

I mean... 'getting out' would definitely help one of those two situations.... Too far? 😅

3points

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#14

What does an English teacher eat for breakfast?

Synonym rolls.

26points

mike ratzlaff 2 years ago

Just like my grammar used to make

8points

#15

Did you hear about the English teacher who went to prison for so long she went through menopause?

She was most upset that there would be no period at the end of her sentence.

26points

Lori Rommel 2 years ago

You should've left off that last period

2points

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#16

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction? Instagrammar.”

24points

Stormy 2 years ago

🤣❤️

2points

#17

Teacher: "This class is so bad! All dumb people stand up!"

A student stands up.

Teacher: "Shohag, are you dumb?"

Student: "No sir, but I felt bad seeing you stand alone."

23points

Neon 1 month ago

Oldie but goldie :) (or goodie.... )

0points

#18

"When my teacher asked what I want to do during the vacation, I said, "Go to Italy, Rome around and pasta time." I am one of her favorite students now."

21points

C Cat 2 years ago

An Oxford comma would make this understandable

3points

#19

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘Tell me the longest sentence you can think of.’

Student: ‘Life imprisonment?’”

21points

#20

My teacher always says, "Double negatives are a big no-no."

20points

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#21

“My english teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say: ‘You shall not pass.’”

19points

Tsunami_The_Seawing 2 years ago

Epic.

2points

#22

"I think my English teacher is a dinosaur, because he said he is a walking thesaurus."

19points

#23

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘I’ll always encourage you to follow your dreams!’ Student: ‘But you never let us sleep in class!’”

19points

#24

Teacher: "Where is your essay about your dog?"

Student: "Here you go." (Hands teacher his paper.)

Teacher: "This is exactly like your brother’s essay!"

Student: "Sir, it’s because we have the same dog."

19points

Stormy 2 years ago

🤣

2points

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#25

What is an english teacher’s favorite Radiohead song?

Comma Police.

18points

#26

Teacher: "Where is your homework?"

Student: "I made the paper into a paper plane, then somebody highjacked it!"

18points

Stormy 2 years ago

🤣

1point

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#27

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘We will get rid of global poverty by 2050. What tense is this sentence in?’

Student: ‘Future impossible tense.’”

18points

Stormy 2 years ago

🤣

1point

#28

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain’t had no fun all summer." "Now Paul," she began, "What shall I do to correct this?" "Get a boyfriend?" Paul replied.

18points

Iyono Paul 2 years ago

😊

1point

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#29

Teacher: "Make a sentence with the words “defense, detail and defeat”."

Student: "When a horse jumps over the fence, the feet go before the tail."

17points

Stormy 2 years ago

🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

2points

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#30

Why did Jeffrey Epstein's English teacher fail him?

Because he never finished his sentences...

16points

Stormy 2 years ago

😏

2points

#31

Why do teachers keep an apple on their desk?

Because they are poor and hungry.

16points

Sheila Cobb 2 years ago

To throw it at a student when they act up!!

1point

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#32

"My English teacher told me I had no complete sentences. Then I asked her how she knew I broke out of prison twice."

15points

#33

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “My English teacher asked if I could explain brevity better. Short answer, no. Long answer, yes.”

15points

#34

"My English teacher asked me what I knew about syntax. I never knew part of my earnings were dedicated to wrongdoings."

15points

Mrmanxyz 2 years ago

😂

0points

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#35

Why was the English teacher arrested?

She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.

15points

Jessica Bo 6 months ago

It should be "practised".

-1point

#36

What insect do English teachers love the most?

The spelling bee.

15points

#37

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do you call a parent-teacher conference where the teacher is invisible? A transparent teacher conference.”

15points

#38

What does an English teacher call Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses.

14points

#39

"I forgot who wrote The Great Gatsby so I asked my English teacher... what did Scott Fitzgerald ever do to him?"

14points

Cassi Lyris 2 years ago

*badumtiss*

4points

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#40

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I once dated an English teacher. But when she saw my dangling participle, she was afraid I would split her infinitive.”

14points

Jody Whitmarsh 2 years ago

Oh my

4points

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#41

My English teacher told this one to my whole class. So a guide in an university does a quick tour of the campus with new male students. She shows the science department, the arts and sports departments, and then she stops at the women’s dormitory: “You guys are not allowed to go there, the first time we catch you in the women’s dormitory, the fine is 25$. The second time is 50$, the third time is 100$ and so on.” This is when a guy in the back raises his hand to ask a question: “How much for the season pass?”

13points

Jessica Bo 6 months ago

An university???

0points

#42

"My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: 'BE MINE.' The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: 'Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.'"

13points

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#43

A teacher walks into a bar and says "Can I have a beer?" The barman says "I don't know, CAN YOU?"

13points

Rebecca Byles 2 years ago

My mum used to correct me all the time as a child. I ended up saying "please may can I have......"

0points

#44

The teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good grief!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."

13points

Tessa Nkandi 2 years ago

Oh nooo, 😂😂

0points

#45

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I just saw my high-school English teacher the other day and she didn’t remember me. I was homeschooled.”

13points

#46

This guy's an English teacher, and he still can't think of a synonym for 'market'! It's bazaar.

12points

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#47

How do you tell the difference between a math teacher and an English teacher?

Ask them to define “hyperbolic”.

12points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

How to tell the difference between the history and chemistry teachers? Ask them to say "unionized"

3points

#48

The English Teacher in India.

Teacher: "Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"."

Student: "I is the...."

Teacher: "Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I"."

Student: "OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

12points

#49

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘What is the longest word in the English language?’

Student: ‘Smiles."

Teacher: ‘Why?’

Student: ‘Because there is a ‘mile’ before the first and the last letter.’”

12points

Lori Rommel 2 years ago

Slightyears!

4points

#50

Teacher: "I know you are bad at spelling. That’s why I told you to copy the sentence 10 times! But you only wrote it down 4 times. Why?"

Student: "Sir, looks like my counting is also bad."

12points

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#51

Why did the teacher write on the window?

Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!

12points

#52

The past, present, and the future walked into a bar where teachers were drinking. Everyone tensed!

12points

#53

"My English teacher asked to “define money”. I responded “something you don’t have”."

12points

#54

"I'm an English teacher and I'm obsessed with staying clean. I hope there isn't any literature house."

11points

Kristin T-K 2 years ago

Took a while... "literature house" = "litter at your house..." ... out of curiosity, how many of these 148 are actually funny?

3points

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#55

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies.”

11points

Selma Ferris 2 years ago

And? English teacher . . . someone forgot to proofread.

1point

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#56

Teacher: "Whoever gets my next question right may go home."

Student throws book to the front of the class.

Teacher: "Who threw that??"

Student: "Me! I’m going home now." (And the student leaves class.)

11points

#57

A English teacher asked the class... "Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence." The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed, "De Cheetah is fastah dandelion?"

11points

#58

What are the two types of people who love the words "Who, what, when, where and why?"

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients.

11points

SN 2 years ago

Three. Small children. Source: me, who has 5 kids. 😂

2points

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#59

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do English teacher and Coke dealers have in common? Focus on the last line.”

10points

Percyjacksonfan 2 years ago

Huh?

0points

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#60

"In high school I knew we had an alcoholic Mexican English teacher. When she had us read Tequila Mockingbird."

10points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Where's the English teacher to call this one out? Not to mention a bit racist, anyone can appreciate tequila mockingbirds

1point

#61

A new student arrives at class so the english teacher asks him some questions.

Teacher: "What’s your name?"

Student: "Shohag."

Teacher: "What does your father do?"

Student: "Whatever my mom says."

10points

#62

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Student: ‘Sir! I think we need a new teacher.’

Teacher: ‘Why??’

Student: ‘Because you always ask us for the answers.’”

10points

#63

What is a teacher’s favorite nation?

The Expla-nation.

10points

#64

I asked my English teacher whether I should pronounce "either" as "ee-ther" or "eye-ther". He said, "You can say either."

10points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Whichever.

0points

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#65

"Last semester I had an English teacher names Mrs. Gaye. She was a huge homophone."

10points

#66

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense.’

Student: ‘In future tense, you will go to jail.’”

10points

#67

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. 5 minutes before the bell, Bob handed in a blank sheet of paper. "Bob!" yelled the teacher. "You've done nothing. Why?" "Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do."

9points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Sadly, nowadays a million dollars doesn't go so far as to permit idleness for very long.

0points

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#68

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed. Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon.

9points

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#69

"My English teacher started called me over to his desk for an idiom test... I wasn't prepared so I had to beat around and push."

9points

#70

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

2 kilo mockingbird.

9points

#71

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Student is rubbing his head.

Teacher: ‘Shohag, what’s wrong?’

Student: ‘Yesterday a book fell on my head.’

Teacher: ‘Well, you only have your shelf to blame.’”

9points

#72

Teacher: "How do you spell crocodile?"

Student: "KROKODAIL."

Teacher: "No, that is wrong!"

Student: "It might be wrong but you asked me how “I” spell it!"

9points

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#73

Teacher: "What is the definition of a lecturer?"

Student: "Someone with the bad habit of talking while other people are sleeping!"

9points

#74

Teacher: "Shohag! Why are you sleeping? You should sleep for 8 hours every day."

Student: "Sir, that’s impossible?"

Teacher: "Why? How is it impossible?"

Student: "Because school is only 6 hours a day!"

9points

#75

Teacher: "Where’s your homework?"

Student: "I ate it."

Teacher: "Why did you eat your homework?"

Student: "Because I don’t have a dog."

9points

#76

Teacher: "Shohag, please wake up your friend next to you."

Student: "Sir, you put him to sleep so you can wake him up."

9points

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#77

Teacher: "Did your parents help you with your homework?"

Student: "No sir. I got them wrong all by myself."

9points

#78

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences.”

9points

#79

What is the best thing about English grammar teachers?

They never write the students off.

9points

#80

Student: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so I was centimeter."
Teacher: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please."

Student: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"

9points

Melissa Smith 2 years ago

That is funny!

1point

#81

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense.”

9points

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#82

"My English teacher banned me from using apostrophies. She doesn't want me to contract the C'rona Virus."

9points

Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago

*apostrophes

6points

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#83

"Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including "y"?"

"Unquestionablely!"

9points

Kate Adams 2 years ago

Please tell.me that's a typo

2points

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#84

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.”

9points

#85

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

8points

#86

How does an English teacher laugh?

Ha(d) ha(d).

8points

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#87

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “How did the english teacher know his student was pregnant? She started missing periods.”

8points

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

He must have been a pervert how did he know she'd missed her period unless he was the problem

0points

#88

"I had an awkward moment with my english teacher. Apparently pathetic fallacy has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction."

8points

#89

Student: "Teacher, you wouldn’t punish me for something I didn’t do, right?"

Teacher: "Of course not."

Student: "Good! Because I didn’t do my homework."

8points

#90

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Student: ‘Teacher, I don’t think I deserve 0% on this test.’

Teacher: ‘I agree, but that is the lowest grade I can give you.’”

8points

#91

Student: "Teacher, I’m not feeling well today?"

Teacher: "Where don’t you feel well?"

Student: "I don’t feel well at school."

8points

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#92

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘Shohag, this note from your father looks like your handwriting.’

Student: ‘Well, yes. He borrowed my pen.’”

8points

#93

"As I struggled in the class with a half pencil, my teacher looked at me and said, 'Writing with a broken pencil is pointless, my child.'"

8points

Mrmanxyz 2 years ago

Huh?

0points

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#94

"My teacher avoids cliches like the plague!"

8points

#95

"My classmate was late for class, and he said, "It was raining cats and dogs." To which our teacher smiled and asked him, "Did you step in a poodle, then?" He was truly startled."

8points

#96

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says to spit our gum out, a train says choo choo choo.”

8points

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#97

A teacher is quizzing her class.

Teacher: "You use forest for?"

Students: "Getting wood."

Teacher: "Fertile lands for?"

Students: "Growing food.

Teacher: "Sea for?"

Quiet kid: "Explosions."

8points

#98

Why couldn’t the teacher fart in front of her class?

Because she was a private tutor.

8points

#99

"When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my French" after a swear word... I'll never forget that day at school when the teacher asked if we knew any French."

8points

#100

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I used to have a teacher called Miss Aisle. If you upset her even slightly, she would go ballistic.”

8points

#101

An English teacher asked their students: "Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?" A student responded, "Noah, because he has the largest story Ark."

8points

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#102

"Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom."

8points

#103

"My English teacher only left one comment on my entire essay. "Vague"."

8points

#104

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method? Shoot nine of them.”

8points

Jody Whitmarsh 2 years ago

Given the amount of mass shootings around the world, but especially the US, I find this in poor taste

7points

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#105

Teacher: "Why are you late?"

Ramu: "Because of the sign."

Teacher: "What sign?"

Ramu: "The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'"

8points

#106

Teacher: "Billy, name two pronouns."

Billy: "Who, me?"

Teacher: "Very good!"

8points

#107

"I teach in a rough neighborhood. I asked my students what comes at the end of a sentence and they said "an appeal"."

8points

Kristin T-K 2 years ago

Well, actually at the end of the sentence would be the release from custody, wouldn't it? The end of the sentenc*ing* (hearing) is a different thing entirely.

0points

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“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#108

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What does an English teacher say when taking a group picture? Simile.”

7points

#109

"My English teacher said you can’t make a sentence with only nouns. Wheel sea."

7points

#110

"My English teacher told me that using a colon in a sentence can really change its meaning. For example, Jane ate her friend's sandwich. Becomes, Jane ate her friend's colon."

7points

#111

A English teacher has been sentenced to life without parole. The ex-teacher, seemingly unaware, asked the judge if that really was his sentence. The judge questioned why he would ask such a ridiculous question. “Well you see,” The English teacher explained. “Life without parole’ is a phrase.”

7points

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#112

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Our English teacher said that in English, using double negatives implies a positive, and in other languages, using double negatives implies a negative. But, in no languages does a double positive imply a negative. I said, ‘Yeah, right.’”

7points

#113

"I changed my career as an English teacher to beekeeping. Got sick and tired of explaning the difference between am is are was were etc. But man, there's still too many bees."

7points

#114

So there's an American English Teacher that went to Germany… He went to a school to teach children how to speak English. One the first day, he taught them all words that began with the letter A. On the second day, he taught them words that started with B. On the the third day, which was words with C, he thought to himself, "How are they gonna handle D-Day?"

7points

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#115

Teacher: "Let’s review some tenses. I am handsome. What tense is that?"

Student: "Obviously the past tense!"

7points

#116

Teacher: "Who is the best teacher?"

Student: (quietly) "Not you."

Teacher: "Time is the best teacher."

Student: "Unfortunately time also kills all Its students."

7points

#117

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘Well done Shohag! You got 100% on your test.’ Student: ‘Thank you sir! I hope you will print the question papers at my uncle’s printing shop again!’”

7points

#118

Teacher: "Shohag, did you copy Danika’s exam paper?"

Student: "How did you find out?"

Teacher: "Because when she said “I don’t know”. You said “me neither”."

7points

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#119

English teachers are always write!

7points

#120

What is an English teacher's favorite kind of tea?

Punctuali-tea.

7points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Only the best quali-tea

0points

#121

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “A woman stands on the edge of a bridge about to commit suicide. An English teacher spots her, ‘Don’t jump!’ He cries, ‘You have so much for which to live!’”

7points

#122

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Rubber-band, because it streches.

7points

#123

Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Student: "A teacher!"

7points

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#124

Father: "Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams."

Son: "No father I'll score 100% marks."

Father: "Why are you kidding?"

Son: "Who started?"

7points

#125

So a baseball coach and an English teacher are watching a game in a bar. The coach gets up to go to the bathroom. He comes back 10 minutes later and sits next to his friend. He squints at the TV and says, "Bases are loaded, but who's on first?" The English teacher sighs and says, "I'm not getting into that tired old joke with you. And it's 'whom', not 'who'." The coach rolls his eyes and says, "How are you an English teacher?" The teacher says, "Why do you ask?" And the coach responds, "Because, joke aside, that's not even remotely the correct usage for 'whom'." The teacher rolls his eyes this time and says, "How are you a baseball coach?" The coach, of course, responds with, "Why do you ask?" The teacher says, "Because we're watching tennis."

6points

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#126

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I used to date an English teacher, but she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.”

6points

#127

"My English teacher said that nothing rhymes with orange. 'There was a young man who had nothing, until one day he happened upon an orange.' That rhymes?"

6points

#128

An English teacher pulls his student aside after class and goes off on him. "Every time you forget to properly punctuate your work. Please, it's the hundredth time I've asked you, can't you get it through your thick skull? Seriously, it's not that hard. The last time I told you off was what, a day ago? Every time it's the same thing, the same mistakes. It's not a hard thing to learn. No one else in the class struggles with this."

6points

Begum Sumiya 2 years ago

I don't get it.

2points

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#129

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Where did the English teacher and the student fight? In the MLA boxing ring.”

6points

#130

Teacher: (Picks up the telephone) "Hello, Eric speaking."

Student: "Hello, Shohag can’t come to school today."

Teacher: "How are you related to Shohag?"

Student: "This is my father speaking."

Teacher: "Shohag!"

6points

#131

Teacher: "Does anyone have a question?"

Student: "Is Bubbles a good name for a hamster?"

Teacher: "Your topic is Mexico. So please keep your questions to the topic!"

Student: "Is Bubbles a good name for a hamster in Mexico?"

6points

#132

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Teacher: ‘Everyone, take a seat.’

Student: ‘Where would you like me to take it?’”

6points

Kristin T-K 2 years ago

Ok, Spicoli...

0points

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#133

Teacher: "In some words we ignore the pronunciation of certain letters. For example, in honor and hour we don’t say the “h”. We call those, silent letters. Shohag, can you go to the cafeteria and heat up my lunch?"

The student goes to the cafeteria. When he returns, the teachers lunch is all gone.

Teacher: "Why did you eat my lunch?"

Student: "I thought the “h” was silent."

6points

#134

Teacher: "How do you feel about coming to school?"

Student: "The coming part is fine, the going part is also good, it’s the part in between that I don’t like."

6points

#135

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright!”

6points

#136

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before?" "Of course miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?" "Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up."

6points

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#137

Have you ever heard a grammar teacher tell a story?

It's always intense!

6points

#138

"I finally slept with my English teacher. Home-school is great!"

6points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

... And this one's worse!

1point

#139

An English teacher has volunteered to educate prisoners at a local prison. Teahcer: "Can you tell me please, what comes after every sentence?" One of the prisoners then responds with, "That's easy. Parole."

5points

#140

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “My English teacher assigned me 10 stories to go through... so I went sky diving. I went through 10 stories in 2 seconds!”

5points

#141

"While in prison, I started a relationship with an English teacher and I wanted to marry her when I got out... but apparently she wouldn't let me end a sentence with a proposition."

5points

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#142

An English teacher goes into a butcher shop. As the butcher puts the meat on the scale he asks the teacher "Can you tell me what the scale says?" The English teacher says "A scale cannot say anything, a scale can be read, you would say that the scale reads." The butcher cant help but agree as he packs up the teachers meat and sends him on his way. The next week the teacher comes back in for more meat, and as the butcher is putting it on the scale he asks the teacher "Can you tell me what the scale reads?" The English teachers face lit up, "Romance novels."

5points

#143

When English majors get married, the pastor says, "I now pronouns you, he and she."

5points

#144

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “What do you call a teacher without pupils? Blind.”

5points

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#145

Children, you have to write an essay that ends with the sentence "Mother, there is only one." One child presents his essay about the time his mother saved his puppy from being run over and killed: "And that's why I say that mother, there is only one." Another child presents his essay about the time he was sick, with fever, and his mother did not leave his side: "And that is why I say that mother, there is only one." And then it was Timmy’s turn." Let's see, Timmy, what have you written." "Once some of my mother's friends came home and she told me "Timmy, go to the fridge and bring 8 beers", and I came back and said "Mother, there is only one"."

5points

#146

"I had to stop going to school after being hit on by my teacher. The bad news is I’m homeschooled so my teacher just followed me."

5points

Emily Secrest 2 years ago

Being hit on by the homeschool teacher? That's wrong on SO MANY levels!

-1point

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#147

148 English Teacher Jokes To Bring A Bit Of Fun To The Classroom “I just met my high school English teacher the other day and she didn’t remember who I was and it made me sad, because I was her favorite student and was homeschooled.”

4points

Norma Nelson 2 years ago

Mom must have hated him

0points

#148

Teacher: "What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?"

Student: "What sir?"

Teacher: "A train goes 'chew chew' and a teacher goes 'Spit that gum out!'"

4points

Eligijus Sinkunas

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

Violeta Lyskoit

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Franka Dervishi

Meet Franka, a night-owl Panda! After graduating in Economics, she realized the only numbers she wanted to deal with were rankings on Google. She's been an analytical Copywriter ever since. In her free time, she is probably meditating, drafting a new chapter in her third fiction novel, or watching stand-up comedies.

Meet Franka, a night-owl Panda! After graduating in Economics, she realized the only numbers she wanted to deal with were rankings on Google. She's been an analytical Copywriter ever since. In her free time, she is probably meditating, drafting a new chapter in her third fiction novel, or watching stand-up comedies.

What do you think ?

anshikaghalawat12 2 years ago

So cool

0points

anshikaghalawat12 2 years ago

So cool

0points

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