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For some, their English teacher was the reason they fell in love with English literature and linguistics. For others, their English professor was precisely why they dedicated their lives to the field of natural sciences instead. We bet the very first English jokes for teachers came from the second group of people.
Whichever the case might be, good or bad, hilarious or not, we should all be grateful to our English teachers for guiding us on the extensive learning journey of the language spoken by over 1.5 billion people worldwide.
However, there’s one more thing that we should be grateful to our English tutors for. And that’s all the English jokes for teachers and puns worth getting an F for. Isn’t it ironic that we use the language they taught against them to make funny English teacher jokes? Oh, how the tables have turned. You better believe our English teachers would be proud of us for using this idiom!
However, don’t take these funny teacher jokes too seriously, but as tongue-in-cheek or light-hearted humor instead. And it’s very likely that the English professors themselves would have a good giggle at these puns for teachers.
Below, we’ve compiled a list of funny jokes for teachers that will surely bring a bit of fun into the classroom or the mysterious place no student has ever stepped foot in, aka the teachers’ room. Whether it was a bad teacher experience or a hilarious mistake in the class, we bet you’ll find something relatable.
Do you know any more jokes for teachers and students? Let us know! And also, make sure to upvote your favorite from 148 funny jokes about teachers!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
“I bumped into my old English teacher that I fancied. ‘What’s new?’ she asked. I said, ‘An adjective.’”
RELATED:
#2
What do you say when your English teacher is crying?
"There, their, they're."
#3
"My English teacher said I had to write 1000 words on the new Margaret Atwood novel. I managed about 50 before the librarian snatched it back off me."
#4
"My english teacher told me that the file I sent her was corrupt, and that she couldn't open it. I suggested bribing it."
#5
“What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher? A programmar.”
#6
To the English teacher that stole my calendar. "Your days are numbered. Mark my words."
#7
The English teacher wished the class good luck before the poetry test. She said, "Metaphors be with you!"
Lady in the Water 2 years ago
And all the students knew that this was the chosen master - who would take them from being simple poetdawans to Jediwritery success one day...
#10
"My English teacher constantly makes fun of me, because I confuse my prepositions. He's always rubbing it out."
#11
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
debora shuger 2 years ago
I think "geography" is a predicate nominative, not a subject. And, yes, I am an English teacher.
#12
"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."
#13
“English teacher: ‘Give me the opposite of this sentence: Children in the dark make mistakes.’
Student: ‘Mistakes in the dark make children.’
Teacher: ‘Get out.’”
Jack Harris 2 years ago
I mean... 'getting out' would definitely help one of those two situations.... Too far? 😅
#14
What does an English teacher eat for breakfast?
Synonym rolls.
#15
Did you hear about the English teacher who went to prison for so long she went through menopause?
She was most upset that there would be no period at the end of her sentence.
#16
“What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction? Instagrammar.”
#17
Teacher: "This class is so bad! All dumb people stand up!"
A student stands up.
Teacher: "Shohag, are you dumb?"
Student: "No sir, but I felt bad seeing you stand alone."
#19
"When my teacher asked what I want to do during the vacation, I said, "Go to Italy, Rome around and pasta time." I am one of her favorite students now."
#22
Teacher: "Where is your essay about your dog?"
Student: "Here you go." (Hands teacher his paper.)
Teacher: "This is exactly like your brother’s essay!"
Student: "Sir, it’s because we have the same dog."
#23
“My english teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say: ‘You shall not pass.’”
#25
“Teacher: ‘I’ll always encourage you to follow your dreams!’ Student: ‘But you never let us sleep in class!’”
#26
Teacher: "Where is your homework?"
Student: "I made the paper into a paper plane, then somebody highjacked it!"
#27
“Teacher: ‘We will get rid of global poverty by 2050. What tense is this sentence in?’
Student: ‘Future impossible tense.’”
#28
Teacher: "Make a sentence with the words “defense, detail and defeat”."
Student: "When a horse jumps over the fence, the feet go before the tail."
#29
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain’t had no fun all summer." "Now Paul," she began, "What shall I do to correct this?" "Get a boyfriend?" Paul replied.
#30
Why do teachers keep an apple on their desk?
Because they are poor and hungry.
#31
Why did Jeffrey Epstein's English teacher fail him?
Because he never finished his sentences...
#32
"My English teacher told me I had no complete sentences. Then I asked her how she knew I broke out of prison twice."
#33
“My English teacher asked if I could explain brevity better. Short answer, no. Long answer, yes.”
#34
"My English teacher asked me what I knew about syntax. I never knew part of my earnings were dedicated to wrongdoings."
#35
Why was the English teacher arrested?
She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.
#37
“What do you call a parent-teacher conference where the teacher is invisible? A transparent teacher conference.”
#39
"I forgot who wrote The Great Gatsby so I asked my English teacher... what did Scott Fitzgerald ever do to him?"
#40
“I once dated an English teacher. But when she saw my dangling participle, she was afraid I would split her infinitive.”
#41
"My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: 'BE MINE.' The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: 'Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.'"
#42
A teacher walks into a bar and says "Can I have a beer?" The barman says "I don't know, CAN YOU?"
Rebecca Byles 2 years ago
My mum used to correct me all the time as a child. I ended up saying "please may can I have......"
#43
My English teacher told this one to my whole class. So a guide in an university does a quick tour of the campus with new male students. She shows the science department, the arts and sports departments, and then she stops at the women’s dormitory: “You guys are not allowed to go there, the first time we catch you in the women’s dormitory, the fine is 25$. The second time is 50$, the third time is 100$ and so on.” This is when a guy in the back raises his hand to ask a question: “How much for the season pass?”
#44
The teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good grief!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
#45
“I just saw my high-school English teacher the other day and she didn’t remember me. I was homeschooled.”
#46
This guy's an English teacher, and he still can't think of a synonym for 'market'! It's bazaar.
#47
How do you tell the difference between a math teacher and an English teacher?
Ask them to define “hyperbolic”.
Emily Secrest 2 years ago
How to tell the difference between the history and chemistry teachers? Ask them to say "unionized"
#48
The English Teacher in India.
Teacher: "Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"."
Student: "I is the...."
Teacher: "Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I"."
Student: "OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
#49
“Teacher: ‘What is the longest word in the English language?’
Student: ‘Smiles."
Teacher: ‘Why?’
Student: ‘Because there is a ‘mile’ before the first and the last letter.’”
#50
Teacher: "I know you are bad at spelling. That’s why I told you to copy the sentence 10 times! But you only wrote it down 4 times. Why?"
Student: "Sir, looks like my counting is also bad."
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