Join the Fun!

English Nonsense

Final score:

410points

POST

Lilli 5 years ago

*mind blown*

107points

To be fair, many linguists would easily find a logical answer to most of the problems presented in these messages, as English language has a lot of nuances (like words being borrowed from Latin and Greek, or the fact that some words had their origins lost or they ceased to be used in spoken language). However, that doesn't mean that they still don't fail to confuse people trying to learn the language, as even the most sound explanation might seem nonsensical when the original problem could be solved by, well... changing the language? Ah, let's leave this for the linguists to figure out and non-native speakers to be confused about, right?

English Nonsense

Final score:

406points

POST

HANS 5 years ago

You just ruined the ending for me!

100points

English Nonsense

Final score:

398points

POST

Chicken Pox 5 years ago

This is genius!

115points

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

385points

POST

PyroarRanger 5 years ago

Oh s**t.

195points

English Nonsense

Final score:

364points

POST

SykesDaMan 5 years ago

It took me a while to remember which one is positive and which one is negative between horriffic and terrfic...

67points

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

327points

POST

Lilli 5 years ago

I feel you dude

87points

English Nonsense

Final score:

326points

POST

Kaisu 5 years ago

This is definitely really interesting!

78points

English Nonsense

Final score:

323points

POST

Carson Skjerdal 5 years ago

That is incredible ha ha

69points

#10

English Nonsense

Final score:

322points

POST

So Dou 5 years ago

We have the exact same word in french and with the same meaning ... others meaning too ;)

57points

#11

English Nonsense

Final score:

293points

POST

Yoel Schvarcz 5 years ago

In french it's called Double-V

178points

#12

English Nonsense

Final score:

279points

POST

Kaisu 5 years ago

English pronunciation was invented by Satan

282points

#13

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

275points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

What profession is a handyman in then?

169points

#14

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

261points

POST

Artex Gorilla 5 years ago

Brits also use 'Quite' in a sarcastic manner if agreeing with someone (who they don't agree with).

100points

#15

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

244points

POST

Kaisu 5 years ago

This is my kind of pun

14points

#16

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

237points

POST

juice 5 years ago

no one knows

56points

#17

English Nonsense

Final score:

208points

POST

Eirik Johnsbråten 5 years ago

I sent a cent with a peculiar scent.

147points

#18

English Nonsense

Final score:

207points

POST

Sherbaan Naab 5 years ago

Two questions, same answer: because you don't wash properly.

16points

#19

English Nonsense

Final score:

206points

POST

PyroarRanger 5 years ago

America explain... I am confusion!!

110points

#20

English Nonsense

Final score:

203points

POST

Aileen 5 years ago (edited)

I’ve also heard, “I before E except when your feisty foreign neighbor Keith leisurely receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from caffeinated atheist weightlifters. Weird.”

23points

#21

English Nonsense

Final score:

202points

POST

Steven Cook 5 years ago

The last two lines may read incorrect until said...

7points

Blurryface 2 years ago

*gasps* the lead is terrible in flavor, but now you double as a paper maker…

0points

Lilli 5 years ago

is it bad that I actually understood this?

5points

Shadow 3 years ago

Nope!

0points

Tammy Ralph 5 years ago

That's it I'm out of here.

1point

mandy randall 5 years ago

Yeah they do. I read that it's dangerous to drink lead. I lead in my book club because of how fast I read.

1point

Monika Soffronow 5 years ago

Aaaand ... then you make wise choices while reading it out aloud. It is for fun!

0points

Tracey Berry 5 years ago

Well, you know, you say potato and I say potato...

1point

A B C 5 years ago

Lead and led are also pronounced the same, whereas lead and led are pronounced differently.

1point

Mats Iversen 3 years ago

Don’t you hate it when you read read as read when you meant to read read as read and not read so you have to reread it so you read it as read and not read?

0points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

When William Caxton got ahold of a printing press, he sent people all over England to find out how words were spelled. He ended up with a dozen lists that didn't agree with each other, so he picked and chose based on his personal whim or whatever.

0points

Marina 5 years ago (edited)

The letters started to look strange and upside down while I tried to read it for the 5th time while searching for differences between the words lol

0points

MN Free Spirit 5 years ago

As a Reading Tutor I have actually had to attempt to explain this to students...

0points

Susan L. Miller 5 years ago

If the plural of mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice, shouldn't the plural of house be hice, and the plural of spouse be......spice???

0points

Alex Noott 5 years ago

Bough and cough. One is when you sit on the bough of a tree, or bow down to someone. While the other can be a cough (coff) irritating you at night or a cough (cow) in a field. Depending which way you read (reed) or read (red) them.

0points

nala simba 5 years ago

Oh, so true!

0points

Cra-Z cat lady 5 years ago

Took me a second there

0points

Shelli Perez Lorton 5 years ago

Tweetsmarter is overthinking.

0points

ISAAC HARVEY 5 years ago

My mind was blown when I read this a second time.

0points

Slune 5 years ago

I got it until the middle,after I was thinking very hard:). Went for the next two lines...........but now I cannot take anymore! I need a dog!!!

0points

Bertha Garcia 5 years ago

I hate this

0points

Edgar Rops 5 years ago

So did I. And then stared blankly at the screen. It is weird, how come no-one noticed?

0points

#22

English Nonsense

Final score:

188points

POST

HANS 5 years ago

I'd rather not do either or do neither.

176points

#23

English Nonsense

Final score:

183points

POST

Emily Ashcraft 5 years ago

one is used by the people of sarcasm and one is used by regular people

8points

#24

English Nonsense

Final score:

177points

POST

Bleh 5 years ago

This made more sense than it should've

80points

#25

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

166points

POST

Aldhissla VargTimmen 5 years ago

There's a broadcasted spelling competition for the Dutch language as well ^^ Dutch is easier though, makes more sense :)

35points

#26

English Nonsense

Final score:

157points

POST

Tina Hugh 5 years ago

If this isn’t true, it should be

93points

#27

English Nonsense

Final score:

156points

POST

Kaisu 5 years ago

When I hear someone say "the other day", I assume it's something within a month. I never think someone would mean something they did like a year ago

85points

#28

English Nonsense

Final score:

156points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

I wonder if uncovered wagons were the first form of mass transportation so you literally were "on" it.

70points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#45

English Nonsense

Final score:

18points

POST

Dynein 5 years ago

Ever learned German? It doesn't just change the specific of the verb... it changes the whole meaning. "wenden" - to turn, "verwenden" - to use, "abwenden" - to avert, "zuwenden" - to give care/love/attention. That game can be played with pretty much any verb...

17points

#46

English Nonsense

Final score:

17points

POST

F. H. 5 years ago

I'm sorry to say, but in that case the proofreaders language skills were just lacking.

4points

#47

English Nonsense

Final score:

16points

POST

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago

But you can find two mistakes from proof reading!

2points

#48

English-Language-Logic-No-Sense

Final score:

16points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

It's weird the veil of this lie has reigned since ancient times. It's ageing well. Being that it's on my conscience, I'll ignore it's deficiencies and feign adherence to this insufficient and heinous rule.

17points

As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) Giedrė is an avid fan of cats, photography, and mysteries, and a keen observer of the Internet culture which is what she is most excited to write about. Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats).

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What do you think ?

POST

MonsterMum 5 years ago

I had a non English guest who wanted to see a dentist but all the ones he found were at Dental Practices - he didn't want to be practiced on, he wanted one who knew what they were doing

40points

Sri Hastuti 5 years ago

tell your guest practice makes perfect

7points

Chicken Pox 5 years ago

If the building is already built, why we still call building?

21points

Paul K. Johnson 5 years ago

What? You don't work in a built?

12points

Molly Universe 5 years ago

Something about root words blah blah blah. IDK.

5points

Avital Pilpel 5 years ago

I'm not drunk, I'm still drinking

0points

CookieNeerrrrd 5 years ago

Why are we like this... I'm English and I still don't understand why we are like this ._.

13points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 years ago

From what I understand, it has to do with all the conquering that happened way back in the day. The people who eventually became English were very good about incorporating the conquerors' language in with their own, which is why there are so many words (double that of German) and so many nuances. **steps down from podium**

12points

nanashi 5 years ago

I've stopped trying to curse in English because once I said "how should we f**k this" instead of "how should we f*****g do this" and I was laughed at, thinking I did it in jest. I didn't. I really thought that was how you curse in English.

10points

Tina Hugh 5 years ago

No, non-native speakers should cuss frequently:-) It’s funny and it’s interesting because errors lay bare the underlying structure of the language, stuff one doesn’t normally notice if one’s a native speaker

10points

Florence Hastings 5 years ago

English is not a language, it’s a perpetrator that takes other languages down dark allies, beats them to a pulp and robs them. 😂

3points

Ale_Vidal23 5 years ago

i live in switzerland and it's quite frustrating that for words like "du", "dir", "dich", "Ihr", "Sie", "Ihnen", "euch", which are pronouns, in english you simply translate ALL OF THEM into the word "you"

3points

Lisa Shelton 5 years ago

What gets me is that "I'm gonna see if I can't catch that ball" and "I'm gonna see if I can catch that ball" mean the same thing.

3points

Laci 5 years ago

I like how some people actually answered the questions.

3points

Laura Lawson 5 years ago

The big problem is that English is a mishmash of other different languages that all have their own rules! You have Greek, Latin, French, Norse & Spanish roots, just to name a few, and they all have their own grammar, etc, as displayed above.

3points

An Honest Merchant 5 years ago

It's mostly german and french

0points

Angela 5 years ago

Gallagher and english language! YouTube it and laugh with me....

3points

Himanshu Raj 5 years ago

क्या चूतिया भाषा है !

2points

E A M 5 years ago

There, their, they're...

2points

John Louis 5 years ago

The worst aspect of the English language for writers is the lack of a gender neutral first person singular. Ex: A good employee knows that they have to be on time. NO! employee is singular they is plural Ex. A good employee knows he has to be on time. NO! This assumes the employee is male (unfounded sexism). Ex. A good employee knows that s/he has to bee on time. NO? Acceptable in some circles but still not perfect. Pity the poor writer who has to use English.

2points

Demi Zwaan 5 years ago

Singular 'they' does have a long history and should simply be accepted. There's also 'it' which is the true neutral first person singular. Some people prefer it. I don't, but it is an option.

0points

Chyppa Homer 5 years ago

It started out as a perfectly good Tuesday, then you people had to grammar all over it

2points

SurrealKit 5 years ago

The thing about English is it's a mess but at the same time it's kind of super flexible. So I can generally understand what people mean to say when they make technical errors. That's why people get called out with "You know what I meant." when they correct people. It takes a lot of errors to make a sentence that's completely incomprehensible and it's easy for two people to say the same thing and mean completely opposite things. That's just English.

2points

My O My 5 years ago

Here's a funny little story: my fist language as a toddler was english second one german. "Lost" a lot of the english as I am barely using it. BUT: I speak german with english melody

1point

Katarina Drvodelic 5 years ago

Don't get me started on Croatian

1point

Matthew Smith 5 years ago

Being an Englishman I really enjoyed this post, learned something too.

1point

SykesDaMan 5 years ago

I'll just leave this here: https://www.englishclub.com/esl-articles/199909.htm

1point

Foxxy 5 years ago

I recommend attempting The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenite, it really gets you thinking about the English language.

1point

Foxxy 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

Sulu Chewy 4 months ago

Like everything else that was stolen or taken, so was the language. So I wonder, what was the language like before the conquistadors conquered?

0points

Michael Sternberg 4 months ago

I live in Israel and one of my neighbors has a good point he’s trying to learn English and noticed that in all Hebrew English or English Hebrew dictionaries there are pronunciation guides for Hebrew even though Hebrew has almost no exceptions to the pronunciation rules but none for the English

0points

Marie-Ève Girard-Dubreuil 3 years ago

I have a question for the frenchies out there. Why do we translate some places like New Mexico, New Orleans, New England but not New York or New Hampshire? I want to know!!

0points

Rike Renz 5 years ago

I'm always searching for an English ambivalent to the German word "Doch!", like: Kid: "I'm not gonna do my homework!" Parents in Germany: "Doch!" Parents in english: "You will do!" 🤷🏼‍♀️

0points

Avital Pilpel 5 years ago

Some languages borrow words from other languages. English hits other languages over the head in a dark alley and steals all their vocabulary. No wonder English has words spelled according to Greek, Latin, German, French, Spanish, Arabic, Hebrew, and Hindi rules - to name jut a few. "Stephan (greek) and (German) Peter (Latin) saw (german) Satan (Hebrew) flaunting (french) his pyjamas (Himdu) like a maniac (greek) samurai (japanese) jihadi (arabic)." Suspicous, in more ways than one.

0points

Edwin Quantrall 5 years ago

Why can I wear a windbreaker -- but I can't say that it breaks wind? (Also, I'm surprised that the contributor found *ONLY* 40 examples...)

0points

Laura Osborne 5 years ago

There was a photo on Facebook a while ago of a ship shipping shipping ship shipping shipping ships! Say that a few times while drunk 😀

0points

Allison Reina Cellura 5 years ago

Phonetics is spelt with a "ph." The English language makes no sense!

0points

Carol McClellan 5 years ago

Mine is the fact that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway. Also the fact that what we call football uses hands more than feet.

0points

Mark CM 5 years ago

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

0points

Gemma Lees 5 years ago (edited)

When I was doing my PGDE in post-compulsory adult literacy, we would often share stories about our learners. A classmate of mine was teaching at an ESOL, (English for Speakers of Other Languages), centre and one of her learners approached her and asked why "quite a bit" and "quite a lot" meant the same thing. She explained that the English language was ridiculous.

0points

Jaybird3939 5 years ago

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

0points

Lily dL 5 years ago

AUSTRALIA: 3 different pronunciations of the same vowel.

0points

Dan West 5 years ago

Try explaining to a foreign friend why, in America, we park on a driveway and drive on parkway.

0points

bill marsano 5 years ago

So many of these people are unnecessarily upset over minor complications and contradictions. How will they face the vagaries of real life?

0points

gonzo 5 years ago

Sometimes words can help with the meaning by appearing as a symbol, instead of how you pronounce it. There could be a lot of meanings for Q but just 1 meaning for Queue (at least in English) : )

0points

Jo Choto 5 years ago

These are some of the many reasons I find joy in being a linguist!

0points

Lomion 5 years ago

Let's remember Pacific Ocean which has three "c" in it pronounced differently!

0points

Trainluvr NYC 5 years ago

English is a lousy language. Whom may we scold for using it?

0points

Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago

Gideon and pigeon... just droppin that on in there.

0points

Monday 5 years ago

English is definitely not a hard language to learn in comparison to other languages...but damn does it have quirks.

0points

Anthony J Cornish 5 years ago

English is an easy language to learn for rudimentary understanding but to speak British English really well is very difficult as there are too many words that we know mean almost the same thing.....but not quite.

0points

S. 5 years ago

The answer to all of these is . . . it’s all for the aesthetic.

0points

Bob Beltcher 5 years ago

All of this is because the English language is comprised of multiple other languages and not just one.

0points

Lance LaRocque 5 years ago

Just to mess them up more introduce these English words borrowed from the French language: garçon, café, façade, coup d'état, coup de théâtre, and coup de grâce. The list does go on.

0points

Magpie 5 years ago

How do I add a post to the thread ?. I have TEN ways to say the letter O. ___________ one ( wu ) . won. ( u). Woman women ( woo / wi ) _______ Go to top. Form. cow. word.

0points

Magpie 5 years ago

NONE OF THEM RHYME!!!!!

2points

C. Peirce Terry 5 years ago

The people that figured these out are are very smart. They have dissected lots of words.

0points

Scott Critchley 5 years ago

#34 - English might not have a plural form of you, but Aussie/Kiwi do (yous) and so do southern Americans (y'all)!

0points

Sasy 5 years ago

Australians try very hard not to use yous, it is a horrible sounding word

-1point

Melody Shanahan-Kluth 5 years ago

In Lincolnshire (UK) Old Boy can mean both a young lad or a very old man :) I love the English language, it keeps everyone on their toes!

-1point

Kiss Army Premium 5 years ago

Tell someone "Time stands still when I look at you." ... Now tell them "You're face could stop a clock."

-1point

Melanie Peapell 5 years ago

This post just broke my brain!!

-1point

Jirka Kubeš - soukromý 5 years ago

Anybody wandered what THERAPIST does?

-2points

Anthony J Cornish 5 years ago

OUR QUEER LANGUAGE I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW OF TOUGH AND BOUGH AND COUGH AND DOUGH OTHERS MAY STUMBLE BUT NOT YOU WITH THOROUGH AND THROUGH WELL DONE ! AND NOW YOU WISH, PERHAPS TO LEARN OF LESS FAMILIAR TRAPS ? BEWARE OF HEARD, A DREADFUL WORD THAT LOOKS LIKE BEARD AND SOUNDS LIKE BIRD. AND DEAD, ITS SAID LIKE BED, NOT BEAD – FOR GOODNESS SAKE DON’T CALL IT DEED ! WATCH OUT FOR MEAT AND GREAT AND THREAT – THEY RHYME WITH SUITE AND STRAIGHT AND DEBT A MOTH IS NOT A MOTH IN MOTHER NOR BOTH IN BOTHER OR IN BROTHER AND HERE IS NOT A MATCH FOR THERE NOR DEAR AND FEAR FOR BEAR AND PEAR AND THERE’S DOSE AND ROSE AND LOSE – JUST LOOK THEM UP – AND GOOSE AND CHOOSE. AND CORK AND WORK AND CARD AND WARD AND FONT AND FRONT AND WORD AND SWORD AND DO AND GO AND THWART AND CART – COME, COME I’VE HARDLY MADE A START ! A DREADFUL LANGUAGE ? MAN ALIVE I’D MASTERED IT WHEN I WAS FIVE !

-3points

Molly Universe 5 years ago

Are you ok?

1point

POST

MonsterMum 5 years ago

I had a non English guest who wanted to see a dentist but all the ones he found were at Dental Practices - he didn't want to be practiced on, he wanted one who knew what they were doing

40points

Sri Hastuti 5 years ago

tell your guest practice makes perfect

7points

Chicken Pox 5 years ago

If the building is already built, why we still call building?

21points

Paul K. Johnson 5 years ago

What? You don't work in a built?

12points

Molly Universe 5 years ago

Something about root words blah blah blah. IDK.

5points

Avital Pilpel 5 years ago

I'm not drunk, I'm still drinking

0points

CookieNeerrrrd 5 years ago

Why are we like this... I'm English and I still don't understand why we are like this ._.

13points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 years ago

12points

nanashi 5 years ago

10points

Tina Hugh 5 years ago

10points

Florence Hastings 5 years ago

English is not a language, it’s a perpetrator that takes other languages down dark allies, beats them to a pulp and robs them. 😂

3points

Ale_Vidal23 5 years ago

3points

Lisa Shelton 5 years ago

What gets me is that "I'm gonna see if I can't catch that ball" and "I'm gonna see if I can catch that ball" mean the same thing.

3points

Laci 5 years ago

I like how some people actually answered the questions.

3points

Laura Lawson 5 years ago

3points

An Honest Merchant 5 years ago

It's mostly german and french

0points

Angela 5 years ago

Gallagher and english language! YouTube it and laugh with me....

3points

Himanshu Raj 5 years ago

क्या चूतिया भाषा है !

2points

E A M 5 years ago

There, their, they're...

2points

John Louis 5 years ago

2points

Demi Zwaan 5 years ago

Singular 'they' does have a long history and should simply be accepted. There's also 'it' which is the true neutral first person singular. Some people prefer it. I don't, but it is an option.

0points

Chyppa Homer 5 years ago

It started out as a perfectly good Tuesday, then you people had to grammar all over it

2points

SurrealKit 5 years ago

2points

My O My 5 years ago

Here's a funny little story: my fist language as a toddler was english second one german. "Lost" a lot of the english as I am barely using it. BUT: I speak german with english melody

1point

Katarina Drvodelic 5 years ago

Don't get me started on Croatian

1point

Matthew Smith 5 years ago

Being an Englishman I really enjoyed this post, learned something too.

1point

SykesDaMan 5 years ago

I'll just leave this here: https://www.englishclub.com/esl-articles/199909.htm

1point

Foxxy 5 years ago

I recommend attempting The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenite, it really gets you thinking about the English language.

1point

Foxxy 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

Sulu Chewy 4 months ago

Like everything else that was stolen or taken, so was the language. So I wonder, what was the language like before the conquistadors conquered?

0points

Michael Sternberg 4 months ago

0points

Marie-Ève Girard-Dubreuil 3 years ago

I have a question for the frenchies out there. Why do we translate some places like New Mexico, New Orleans, New England but not New York or New Hampshire? I want to know!!

0points

Rike Renz 5 years ago

I'm always searching for an English ambivalent to the German word "Doch!", like: Kid: "I'm not gonna do my homework!" Parents in Germany: "Doch!" Parents in english: "You will do!" 🤷🏼‍♀️

0points

Avital Pilpel 5 years ago

0points

Edwin Quantrall 5 years ago

Why can I wear a windbreaker -- but I can't say that it breaks wind? (Also, I'm surprised that the contributor found *ONLY* 40 examples...)

0points

Laura Osborne 5 years ago

There was a photo on Facebook a while ago of a ship shipping shipping ship shipping shipping ships! Say that a few times while drunk 😀

0points

Allison Reina Cellura 5 years ago

Phonetics is spelt with a "ph." The English language makes no sense!

0points

Carol McClellan 5 years ago

Mine is the fact that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway. Also the fact that what we call football uses hands more than feet.

0points

Mark CM 5 years ago

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

0points

Gemma Lees 5 years ago (edited)

0points

Jaybird3939 5 years ago

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

0points

Lily dL 5 years ago

AUSTRALIA: 3 different pronunciations of the same vowel.

0points

Dan West 5 years ago

Try explaining to a foreign friend why, in America, we park on a driveway and drive on parkway.

0points

bill marsano 5 years ago

So many of these people are unnecessarily upset over minor complications and contradictions. How will they face the vagaries of real life?

0points

gonzo 5 years ago

Sometimes words can help with the meaning by appearing as a symbol, instead of how you pronounce it. There could be a lot of meanings for Q but just 1 meaning for Queue (at least in English) : )

0points

Jo Choto 5 years ago

These are some of the many reasons I find joy in being a linguist!

0points

Lomion 5 years ago

Let's remember Pacific Ocean which has three "c" in it pronounced differently!

0points

Trainluvr NYC 5 years ago

English is a lousy language. Whom may we scold for using it?

0points

Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago

Gideon and pigeon... just droppin that on in there.

0points

Monday 5 years ago

English is definitely not a hard language to learn in comparison to other languages...but damn does it have quirks.

0points

Anthony J Cornish 5 years ago

0points