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English is the most spoken language in the world with a mind-bending total of 1.348 billion speakers. So no language like it has ever dominated the world. The influence of English can be easily traced in the way its vocabulary has infiltrated so many other languages.

Researchers at the IULM University in Milan have noticed that, in the past 50 years, Italian syntax has shifted towards patterns that mimic English models, and that’s just one example. And thanks to the global influence of social media, younger generations from around the world are all speaking fluent English, mimicking insta-famous natives from across the sea like it's no big deal.

So it’s only fair to expect something from this language, right? For example, that it makes sense, is user-friendly and somewhat intuitive. And it kinda is, or is it? Well, you gotta draw your own conclusions after scrolling through some of the weirdest, most frustrating and pretty incredible English language quirks we collected below. From the cursed English pronunciation to the sentences that have 7 or more different meanings depending on the stressed word, this is a crazy class you wouldn’t like to have an exam in.

English, the universal language of this world, is somewhat of a tough nut to crack for anyone who just got on board. The reason for this is the fact that this language is full of unique quirks and incredible oddities that, although challenging at first, give it character. For example, think of the sentence “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long” by Mitch Hedberg, who created this paraprosdokian, a phrase that figuratively defeats your expectation. The listener or reader will have to reframe or reinterpret the earlier clause. Coming from the Greek ‘para’ meaning ‘against’ and ‘prosdokia’ meaning ‘expectation,’ a paraprosdokian leaves the reader somewhat baffled by the conclusion of the sentence.

#4

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

showerfeelings Report

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Tails
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will one up you. Every E in Mercedes is pronounced differently.

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#5

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

shadowwraiths Report

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XSpooky_Mint
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't kill your dog. I DIDN'T kill your dog. I didn't KILL your dog. I didn't kill YOUR dog. I didn't kill your DOG.

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#6

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

moist-grunge Report

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is considered one of the easier languages to learn - it gets much more complicated out there people

Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, agreed. I'm fluent in four, and I'm pretty convinced Slavic languages are amongst, if not THE most complicated ones of all the European languages.

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Angelar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try German. English was the easiest to learn from all my attempts at other languages.

Jagerzamo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to a German school from 5 to 18, worked in a lot of jobs that needed fluent German, one of them being a call center and I still f**k it up everytime I have to choose between den and dem....

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While learning English, you either sound like an idiot, and write well. or you spell like moron but talk well...have to learn much by experience, because the language is schizophrenic and doesn't know what it suppose to do at any given moment.

Tunder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is probably the easiest language i’ve ever learned, even easier than my mothertongue

Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this could be read as a poem because language rhymes with bridge lol

Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh? Not to brag, but I've learnt it as my third... *fixing my nails*

ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because I can't reply to buck naked below, learnt = did learn, learned = knows a lot (learn-edd)

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Alma Muminovic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is not that bad. When I came to this country I learned english in 6 months, granted I was 7 and absorbed everything quickly. I think if I ever tried to learn French it would destroy me.

Marilyn Ransberry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is from so many different sources and that is why spelling and pronunciation differs. Yes it is complicated and difficult to learn and why people who take offence at people who aren’t always speaking English in an English speaking country show a lack of understanding of the situation.

Béla Kun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard language (*laughs in Hungarian"), those are rookie numbers.

Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried but I cant even remember the basic numbers in Hungarian. I only know the first 4 :-) totally exotic and I am a Slovak. I know a few words though since we are neighbours but OMG it is so hard and it does not remind me of anything I have ever learnt in any other European language

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Mimi M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Basic English is pretty easy to learn. Fluent English is hard. Correct written English is nigh-unto impossible, unless you were taught by a native English speaker (teacher or parent) from young childhood onwards.

BasedWang
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i still read the first line "tare" and "te-er" so I guess F me right

Kobus Loots
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As somebody who speaks english as a second language, I can tell you there are some very confusing parts. One simple thing that has always confused me is the difference between turtle and tortoise, because in my language we only have one word for it.

ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

turtle = has fins/flippers. Tortoise = has legs. Americans call everything a turtle unless it has fins then allegedly it's a 'sea turtle'. Terrapin = tortoise that swims in rivers with flattened feet. I will die on this hill. PS. Skilpad.

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Dandelion Girl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly yeah, imagine looking at the word “yacht” and not just giving up

Patrick Ganly
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry to inform you, But English is only the 2nd most widely used language in the world. Population of Manderin speaking Chinese in China is over 1.439 billion with 50 million living in other countries outside of China. So Manderin is the most widely spoken language in the world and not English!!

fyrsel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, that's cool. German native speaker here. English is my fifth language and the other three are worse :D

Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's like kanji characters in Japanese, two can have different meanings but they're pronounced the same.

Hanna Sofia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

idk, english is my third language and i speak it fluently. i guess that might be cus i started learning it when i was like 3-4, but still

Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And somehow, in Swedish "De" is pronounced "Dom" and there's historical reason for it, but it breaks all of their own pronunciation rules anyway. English isn't the only one with broken language XD

Natalia A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is p*ss easy. No gendered nouns for a start, versus two or three genders in other languages which means verb endings in all tenses change depending on who is performing the action. Not to mention different pronouns. I say that as someone who learned English as a second language and who is currently trying to learn Spanish.

ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nah I just saw a horror above which makes this look like child's play. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vExjnn_3ep4

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Loty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm learning french now and let me tell you english is a piece of cake in comparison.

ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

French spelling is more consistent but the grammar and gender thing is tricky.

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Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again, English has more than five vowels with only five letters to display them.

Anne Spoonhour
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your ID jumps off a bridge, will your ego and superego go with it?

Susan Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The language is only difficult when it comes to idioms and slang. For example, "wanna" is now the accepted version of "want to".

Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See that's the thing tho. We do learn English between 4-9 years old learning to read.

Clandestine Shimmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a native English speaker and have always struggled learning another language (took 4 years of Spanish, 1 year of French, and 1 year of ASL, but still don't know any of them). I just always thought English was easy to learn. Then I had kids. Teaching them to read made me realize no language is easy if you're not immersed in it constantly.

moose toes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what hurts even more is that my brain noticed the difference and i pronounced them differently in my thoughts

Summer Woodsong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the main problems is that 'English' contains words from many other languages. We who were immersed in it and grew up with its idiosyncrasies only trip over the unusual. This has lead me to believe I'd never figure out any other language to any degree of proficency at my age. Much too late!

Harold Sink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, Italian or Korean would be easier to learn than English, and I grew up speaking English. I discover new words in the English language weekly.

Aikie Marais
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I grew up is South Africa in the time before TV and for us little "boertjies" English was our Nemesis. We murdered it in primary school and hurt it badly in secondary school for the simple reason that we were not exposed to speaking it. These days my grand children already speak it to one another and to me because we are exposed to it a lot more.

Vee Dub
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you can try German with three different articles depending on gender ... der die or das instead of the the or the :-)

Rumple Schleppskin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tare and Tear are pronounced the same. For this is maybe the ONLY reason why we had such a Man known as Rip Torn.

Tina Harnish
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read a comment that a teacher of ESL was teaching things like freeze- froze, a student cracked her up when the student came out with snoze. (From sneeze)

Shushadei
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not a problem really! Context is everything! And I'm german... dealing with an irregular language daily...;-)

Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tear and tier are NOT pronounced the same. Tier has two syllables.

Rebecca Flanagan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I haven't already READ the book, I will READ it tomorrow. Come on‽

Claire Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of the messages I've had on eBay from Chinese sellers have totally blown my mind. A polishing stone I received arrived broken in half, they told me they must not have used enough "bubbles" in the package, hoping they meant bubble WRAP. Another item didn't arrive and I was informed that the carrier pigeon must have got lost (?), another item that took far longer to arrive than stated was coming from "Backland China". I think I cried at every one of those but most especially at the "bubbles".

Myra Perez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still working on my pronunciation... I'm this close 👌 to jump off a bridge...i really felt this

Maggie Dinzler Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I forgot. In the UK, it is proper not to capitalize the E in English as we do in the US? We capitalize the first letter of all languages.

ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's if you're using it as a noun/adjective. The English Language is very english.

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June
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a French I gave up on pronunciation years ago (hence the awkward accent) aaaaaaaand also on some grammar (but I never liked it either in french) 🤷‍♀️

Hayar Said
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In our English class' (I'm not from England or US) I just sit aside and just try to contain my laughter lol

Hayar Said
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends try to learn it in school (they're first language isn't English) and I just sit there looking at them hardly containing my laughter

Christina Hvurchilova
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Much easier to learn than to figure out different spelling if it's your native tongue

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read the first, “tear,” as in tearing paper. Took me a second. 🤣

Big Blue Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes they are. Tear (water in your eyes) and tier (layer) are spelled the same. But tear (again water is your eyes) and tear (to rip paper or smth) is spelled differently.

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Bobby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We south Asian have less bridges, that's why we are still Populated.

Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me too! and I'm sure there would be no one to catch me! Say did I get the there right?

Brenda Spagnola
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is actually the most difficult language to learn and to master (use correctly). We are the only language that literally has an exception for every single rule. EX: I before E, except after C. Plus, we have words that sound the same, but are spelled differently AND words that are spelled the same, but are pronounced the differently. ,English is loads of fun

Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm SO Glad that English is my first language. I can read Lewis Carroll (The Rev Dodgson) in the original, and Shakespeare in the original, and Charles Darwin AND Charles Dickens in the originals!

Patrick Ganly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Manderin is the most widely spoken language. English only comes 2nd! Na na ne naa naa!!

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Another confusing thing in the English language may be syntactic ambiguity. Here is an example: “I’m happy I’m a tennis player, and so is Albert.” It can mean four things: “I am happy Albert and I are both tennis players,” “I’m glad I'm a tennis player, and Albert is also a tennis player,” “Albert and I are both glad I’m a tennis player,” or “I am glad I’m a tennis player and Albert is also glad to be a tennis player.”

#8

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Rose the Cook
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both are rarely heard outside America except from people who think Americanisms are trendy.

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Geronyms, brand names used to mean an everyday item, are also common in the English language. These terms have seeped into the general psyche and are used more often than their technical counterparts. We almost always ‘Google’ something instead of doing an ‘online search.’ In the US especially, for example, people often refer to cotton swabs as ‘Q-Tips’ after their brand name. Increasingly more popular nowadays is the process of ‘Photoshopping’ an image, after Adobe’s software of the same name.

Auto-antonyms are words with multiple meanings, two of which are antonyms of one another. Some are used in everyday language without our realizing it: the word ‘off’ is guilty of this. We can turn something off, meaning it will cease to be on. Conversely, the alarm can go off, meaning it has—rather bizarrely—just turned on. In more technical terms, a ‘strike’ can, in baseball terminology, mean a hit or a miss.

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#12

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English has more than five vowels but only five letters to display them.

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#13

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

egberts Report

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Gay_Forg
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ THIS CORRECTLY AND UNDERSTAND IT

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#15

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

lisaquestions Report

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when ask to use ones own words. I go; "emjuju wata wata majojo" because those are my own words.

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#18

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Cactus McCoy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Easy. As an English/American native speaker go for german words like "Streichholzschachtel".

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#19

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Serial pacifist
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if a person from Poland is a Pole, then shouldn't a person from Holland be a Hole?

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#20

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "if" throws me. "You all would have" all contract in previously accepted ways. Same with "I would have". I have never seen "if" contracted into anything before. It would have been recognisable as Y'all'd've if I'd've. (Because I'd also like to point out that the apostrophe around I'd was in the wrong place)

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#24

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Ian Milne
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pony Bologna only rhymes if you pronounce Bologna incorrectly

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#26

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about anyone else, bt seeing "nineth" makes me want to say it as nin-eth with two syllables. Maybe that is why ninth eventually beat nineth, for a time both versions were correct.

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#28

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh...TIL that intimate was also a verb. Thank you random sentences.

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#29

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Allan Breum
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kowtow is technically not an English word, its an anglicized version of a Chinese words.

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#31

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Summer Mason
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trying to teach my daughter to read and write is hard. She has to sound out her words when reading. But the sounds the words make are not the same as spelling them on paper. 🙃

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English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Different words developing the same spelling over time. Bass (base) is from Mediaeval Latin, bass (fish) is from a Germanic root.

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#34

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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Rebecca Bailey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arkansas and Kansas didnt come from English. Arkansas is a French corruption of the pronunciation of a Quapaw word meaning "The Down River People" Kansas is named after the Kansa people. Almost all of the states names came from native words, or French or Spanish corruptions of those native words.

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#35

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it relates to gratitude, not greatitude? (Very much a guess, I haven't had a brew yet)

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#37

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A B C
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's to distinguish the bomb before from the boom afterwards.

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