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There’s nothing like engineers. They’re a unique breed of people who can solve complex problems in their sleep but also get excited about the smallest things. They see the world through an analytical lens that most people don’t have, which makes them great problem solvers. I mean, that’s the whole point of being an engineer!
Engineers have been humanity’s backbone since the dawn of time. They created bridges, roads, buildings, dams, rockets, and basically anything we see around us that is not a gift from Mother Nature. They see solving problems as a necessity and use creativity to project a solution from scratch. And don’t let me get started about what happens when you combine a bunch of engineers! I have tons of friends who all graduated from the same engineering university. Their conversations are one of a kind, even if they admit that sometimes they also don’t know what they’re supposed to do either.
Engineering is, no doubt, one of the most critical jobs in the world, but it can be pretty dull or indecipherable for the rest of us! How about we spice it up a little bit with some humor and puns? We selected the best engineering jokes for your fun and pleasure!
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#1
Three engineers were riding in a car, went down a hill, and crashed. The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the brakes. Let me check 'em out." The electrical engineer said, "I think it was something in the electrical system. Let me check it out." The software engineer said, "Let's push it back up the hill and run it again."
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#2
"A programmer’s wife asks him, 'Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.' The programmer goes to the store and returns home with 12 loaves of bread. 'They had eggs,' he explained."
#3
Engineers like to solve problems but... If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
#5
The optimist says: “The glass is half full.” The pessimist says: “The glass is half empty.” The engineer says: “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
#6
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are attempting to hit a target 400 feet away with a cannon. They physicist says, "This is easy!". He does the calculations and fires but falls 100 feet short. The engineer tells him he forgot to factor in imperfections and error. He calculates, and overshoots by 100 feet. The statistician then declares, "We hit it!"
#7
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a hardware issue.
#8
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
#9
Three engineering students were gathered together to discuss the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
#10
How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? Tell them it’s “impossible.”
#11
Engineer No. 1: “I bet you can’t name two structures that can hold water.” Engineer No. 2: “Well, dam.”
#12
"When I wrote this code, only me and God knew how it works. Now only God knows..."
#13
An old engineer retires. A year or so later, the firm calls him up. They are having a technical issue with a machine he designed. No one else in the company can figure out what's wrong and they want him to help. He aggrees and comes in. He walks up to the machine, opens a panel, and stares into the workings. After a while, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket and scribes an "X" on one particular component. He says, "There's your problem." and leaves. Sure enough, the firm replaces that part and everything is working fine. A few days later, the firm receives a bill from the retired engineer for $100,000. They call him, asking why the bill is so outrageous. He replies, itemizing the bill, "It's $1 for chalk and $99,999 for knowing where to put it."
Kiryn Silverwing 2 years ago
Most variations of this I've heard are with a screw. Ask him to itemize his bill. 10 cents for the screw, the rest of the very large bill is knowing which screw needed replacing.
#14
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
#15
What is the definition of an engineer? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
#16
How do you drive an engineer insane? Make them watch as you fold up a road map the wrong way.
#17
You know I hate engineer students sometimes. For example, I hate it when engineer students call themselves engineers like you don’t hear med students calling themselves doctors or art students calling themselves unemployed.
#18
Conventional wisdom: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Mechanical Engineer: If it ain’t broke, consider adding more features.
#19
The engineer installed a motor too powerful in the moving stairway. It escalated very quickly.
#20
What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
#21
You might be an engineer if... If you've used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
Party Poison 2 years ago
What do you mean, the duct tape I used for shutting those kids in my basement up doesn't count?
#22
Proof: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time. And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, it is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
#23
What’s the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when he’s talking to you. An extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when he’s talking to you.
B_Sirius 2 years ago
Nah. An extroverted engineer will explain the science, design, math, etc for everyday objects to everyone in every situation: date, family gathering, funeral, happy hour, theater. Soon you feel like you're looking at the world through Iron Man's mask with Jarvis explaining everything.
#24
Me: “You’re an engineer, why are you so dumb about technology?” Spouse: “I just design it, I don’t use it.”
#25
An engineer is a person who measures with a micrometer, marks it with a crayon, and cuts it with an ax.
#26
You might be an engineer if… You destroy things just to see how they work.
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
As a kid I took apart my father's typewriter. When I put it back together it didn't work right. I got in trouble for that, but it was worth it!
#27
An engineer walks into a pub and demands, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
The bartender hands out another beer but is visibly concerned as the engineer seems in some sort of pain.
As the engineer finished his 6th beer the bartender asks, “When are you going to start paying for these beers?”
The engineer exclaims, “Now the problems start!”
#28
Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?" Wind turbine 2: "I'm a big metal fan"
#29
A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
#30
The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
#31
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
#32
I can’t believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it! I guess he just wasn’t a very good conductor.
harry Henderson 2 years ago
I am down voting this joke because it's an engineering joke not an engineering joke
#33
So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors. The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.
#34
Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other’s new bike. He asked, “Where did you get such a wonderful bike?” The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, “Take whatever you’d like to have.” The first student says, “Good call, I’ll bet her clothes wouldn’t have fit either of us.”
#35
Overheard in a bar: “I wonder if the person who invented the drawing board got it right first time.”
#36
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
#37
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? "That hertz."
#38
My calculator stopped working mid-way through my engineering exam. I can’t count on it anymore.
#39
You might be an engineer if... You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
#40
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
#41
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago
I know the first 100 digits of Pi! [Asapscience's song taught me]
#42
Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe.
Annika Sonnleitner 2 years ago (edited)
I can live with 2 as long as i dont do a while loop (I write weird while loops in c++)
#43
What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? A doctor kills people one at a time.
Sierra Tim 2 years ago
The way I heard it was, "Doctors bury their mistakes, engineers have to fix theirs."
#44
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper into the printer but the display kept saying it just can’t get enough… The engineer said "Ah yes…. it’s stuck in Depeche Mode"
#45
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
#46
An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
Florimon van Putte 2 years ago
Two atoms walk into a bar. Says one to the other, "hang on, I think I've lost an electron!" Says the other, "are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
#47
Managed to get some engineering calculations wrong by using the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2B.
#48
What did the sound engineer say on his last day of work? Audios.
#49
An old country gentleman sent his son off to engineering school. Four years later, upon his son’s return, he asked him what he had learned at college. The son replied, “Pi r square.” The dad exclaimed, “You didn’t learn nothin’, boy! Pie are round; bread’s square.”
#50
You might be an engineer if... Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
What do you think ?
William Clark 2 years ago
I am both proud and embarrassed to understand all of these (I am still in HS)
*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago
I loved this! I may have commented a lot but at least I was enjoying myself!
Scarlett Barbee 2 years ago
Abt Nerdic: North Germanic people (Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway) are called Norse men = nordic, as they lived in the northermost part of germanic lands. It is a play on this or more a portmanteau of Nordic & Nerd = Nerdic
Load More Replies... William Clark 2 years ago
I am both proud and embarrassed to understand all of these (I am still in HS)
*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago
I loved this! I may have commented a lot but at least I was enjoying myself!
Scarlett Barbee 2 years ago
Abt Nerdic: North Germanic people (Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway) are called Norse men = nordic, as they lived in the northermost part of germanic lands. It is a play on this or more a portmanteau of Nordic & Nerd = Nerdic
Load More Replies... You May Like 100 Funny Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust Knock-Knock Yourself Out With These Hilarious, Punny Jokes Whatever Your Name Is, We Have Collected Name Jokes For Everyone
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