“What Did ‘That’ Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?” (30 Answers)

Parents are among the most important people in our lives; they're supposed to protect us from harm, give us comfort and love, and raise us to be great human beings. Sadly, our relationships with them are not always as great as they're supposed to be. Some people experience horrible childhoods and treatment from their parents, so much so that they decide to cut ties with them and never see or speak to them again.

This online user asked those people to share their stories and explain what happened — and let us warn you, these experiences are absolutely heartbreaking, ranging from sad to infuriating. The stories give us a glimpse into their lives, and the raw emotions they share can teach us to value the great relationships around us and inspire us to give up the toxic ones.

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"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My new drunken stepfather attacked me and tried to chock me out… my mother did nothing but watch and took his side.. 22 years later I still have never spoken to her since..

Lanto1471 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

151points

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Phoebe Bean 1 year ago

Sorry that your mother turned out to be worst than this awful stepfather.

48points

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We spoke to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he had some very interesting insights on the relationships of kids and parents: "One of the major mistakes parents often make while raising their children is failing to provide them with a balanced environment of support and independence. It's crucial to understand that children need to be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Overprotecting or micromanaging their lives can hinder their ability to develop essential problem-solving skills and resilience. Additionally, not acknowledging or validating their emotions can lead to emotional intelligence deficits in the future."

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Long story short. My brother got shot and was in ICU for a month. My brother's condition went south and my parents were MIA. A decision needed to be made wether or not we pull the plug. That decision fell on me. At 24, I had to make that choice with no parents in sight and I decided to pull the plug.

Soul_Traitor , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

145points

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Nina 1 year ago

I'm so sorry for you OP, that must've been a hell to go through

75points

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"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Well the last straw was when my father convinced my grandparents to get me kicked out of their house while I was finishing up university by telling them that the hookah I was partaking in every few weeks was an illegal drug. During finals which was pretty fun.

Oh and the part where he told me he hoped I died by getting in a motorcycle crash. Followed by weeks of incessant voice-mails of him drunkenly threatening me wanting to meet up for a fight.

There was also that time he beat the s**t out of me when I stood up for my mom during one of his drunken rages at a camping trip.

Oh and who can forget that one time he left me a voice-mail telling me "this is your fault" and then shooting his gun into the air making it seem he had just offed himself. But it was just a manipulation tactic. That was a fun one.

Nothing like some childhood trauma to make someone grow up quickly.

Edit: wow this got a lot of attention. For anyone wondering, yes, I did use this as a role model of what not to be as I got older. I haven't spoken with pretty much any of my family except my mother for the last decade. I'm in a loving relationship now getting married this year and do not plan on having any children. My dad's last name dies with me.

Walkman1080i , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

133points

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AxleMunshine001 1 year ago

You could always give your child your wife's last name

67points

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky shared his own run-ins with "bad" parenting: "In my experience, one of the most damaging things parents can do to their relationship with their children is to consistently prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their children. I've encountered situations where parents, due to their own ambitions or insecurities, have imposed their own dreams and aspirations on their children, disregarding the child's individual interests and abilities. This can lead to resentment and can significantly strain the parent-child relationship."

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) She knew I was being abused from age 3 onwards and let it happen. Multiple men. When the last one raised his hand to me (I was 24) I went completely NC. A few years later she got cancer, I let her back into my life, I invited her to my wedding, where she spent the entire day talking about how it was a shame I couldn’t lose more weight in time and insulting every aspect of the wedding quietly to my now-MIL who had helped with everything.

I sat her down a few days later (she was staying at my house as the wedding was far from her home) and asked for the comments about my weight to stop. I used all the language I learned in therapy, explaining how it made me feel, trying to not be accusatory but instead cooperative. She started scream crying and ran out of the room. I left to stay with my in laws. I haven’t seen her since. She won’t be meeting the baby I’m pregnant with and when she dies, I won’t be attending the funeral.

jonathantavares , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

127points

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Panda Kicki 1 year ago

You have been more then generous. So sorry you had to have that trauma. Glad you have a nice MIL, family dont mean blood.

49points

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"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My mom introduced my older brother to heroin. He passed away early last year from an overdose. I don’t think I can ever forgive her for taking the only family I’ve ever really cared about away from me

anon , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

121points

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jacqueline 1 year ago

I'm so sorry

24points

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The expert gave some tips for those who want to nurture a great relationship with their kids: "When aiming to foster a great relationship with your children, it's important to remember that respect is a two-way street. Just as we expect our children to respect us, we must also respect them. This includes respecting their individuality, their feelings, their opinions, and their space. It's also crucial to maintain open lines of communication, to listen actively when they speak, and to be honest yet age-appropriately tactful in our responses."

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Short and simple answer: He started treating my son the way he treated me when I was growing up. Ended up going NC before my daughter was born. No way in hell was I going to expose my kids to the trauma I endured as a child.

Thirteen13irds , PNW Production Report

Final score:

119points

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Phoebe Bean 1 year ago

No one should stay in a toxic environment.

37points

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"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) She hired a guy to shoot the girl I dated (and then later married)

L-saltshaker , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

113points

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Reyes 1 year ago

Is that even legal?

12points

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"If parents want to raise children who enjoy their company, they should strive to create a home environment that encourages open communication, mutual respect, and genuine interest in each other's lives. Spend quality time with your children, engage in activities that they enjoy, and show interest in their passions. Encourage their independence and decision-making skills, but also provide guidance and support when needed. Most importantly, be a role model for the values you wish to instill in them. Remember, children are more likely to learn from what they see you do than from what you tell them to," shared Dr. Gleb Tsipursky.

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) After a childhood ripe with physical, emotional and psychological abuse followed by limited contact through my 20’s, I finally decided to confront my mother. She agreed to go to therapy with me. A couple days later she started asking questions about the cost to which I said I’d pay. A couple days after that she was asking about how often we had to go. A couple days after that she said she didn’t want to go because I’d “expose her.” I was then told that the abuse I endured was my fault because I had given up on being a good son.

This all happened 4 years ago and I went no contact immediately after. My life has gotten better since then.

PewpyDewpdyPantz , Alex Green Report

Final score:

108points

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Marcellus II 1 year ago

At least they've gotten clarity, "it's not me, it's you".

25points

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"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Had a mental health crisis and my parents cut me off from all my resources. Took my meds away, took car keys, canceled my phone plan, froze my bank account, and my mom even went in to my job and told them I was crazy, had me put off work indefinitely.

I was 28 and lived alone, they told people I had a drug problem, my mom even called the cops on me several times over the next couple weeks when I wouldn’t talk to her. I got assigned a case worker because I was considered “high risk for petty crimes” because cops had dozens of calls from my parents.

They’ve been manipulative and emotionally abusive my whole life but this was a new level of insanity. They ripped my whole life apart and I’m still working to rebuild it. We haven’t spoken at all in several months, had to file a police report recently because my mom started stalking me and my partner around town. Thankfully it’s been quiet since then

mizerybiscuits , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

103points

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kissmychakram 1 year ago

Bloody hell. Move as far away as you can. Heck, change your name if necessary.

56points

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We also managed to get an interview with the online user who asked the question: “I asked the question because I know it’s a prevalent issue that isn’t discussed enough or is often dismissed when discussed. I personally have had my fair share of experiences with my own family that made me feel alone, and I felt that fostering an environment that started a conversation about it among a diverse group would help myself and others who grapple with the issue.”

#10

My mom has been a s**t mom my whole life. She put me in a motel at 14(f) didn't believe that our land lord tried to r**e me, beat me for flushing her drugs at 8 years old, a bunch of horrible s**t that I got past. What did it for me was how she treated my lil brother.

He was her "do over" baby as she lost all three of her other kids. She gaslit him, manipulated him, pushed him to an eating disorder and ignored it when she found out. He came out as a lesbian at 12 and trans at 14. She constantly dead named him, told him he was going through a faze, and tried to isolate him.

We talked several times about how this could lead to her destroying her relationship with him at best him committing suicide at worst. She would play nice for a day or two and be right back at it. She kept this up through his highschool years. Not surprisingly he wanted to move out immediately at 18 and asked if he could stay with us. She got wind and decided she would move to a whole a*s different state with him and force him to stay with her. She threatened suicide if he left her, cut us off from communicating completely and started packing everything they owned so they could move right after he graduated.

As soon as he turned 18 I flew out and got him. He has been with me ever since. When I got him, he had the life skills of a 10 year old and the personality of a mouse. He said he was sorry for literally anything and everything, too scared to go outside by himself. Now he has a driver's license, a job, goes out on his own to explore. He is in therapy and making great strides. How my mother treated my brother was the straw that broke the camels back.

Buffybot420 Report

Final score:

99points

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Isaac Nemo 1 year ago

I'm glad this one has a happier ending. People, you can stop scrolling at any time, we don't have to do this to ourselves

35points

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#11

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My mother couldn't stand my wife. Twelve years after we got married my mother still referred to my wife as 'my roommate.' She was constantly trying to break us up.

After my father died I stopped contact with her completely. She passed away last year, twelve years after my father. She was such a spiteful woman . . .

Viker2000 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

93points

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Anne Jones 1 year ago

She sounds awful. I don’t blame you.

22points

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They continued sharing why they asked the question and shared some personal experiences: “My parents very much teetered on the edge of being physically abusive - they would tamper with dental tools, which resulted in my not being able to eat or talk due to pain. They would frequently put me down and tell me what was and wasn’t right, but not based on morals - rather what they wanted for me and what they regretted doing/not doing in their own childhoods. They would throw me in a psychiatric ward for minor reasons claiming that I was suicidal, whether or not that was the case. It was very alienating to walk on eggshells for so long - I forgot what was and wasn’t normal to others and had a hard time coming to terms with how irregular my upbringing was.”

#12

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) He screamed and beat me every day of my 15 years of childhood with him. I would get silent to try and get away, and that would throw him into a blind rage. A child sitting silent would set him off. His voice rings in my ears, his blood red face with his brilliant blue eyes in contrast, the spit all over my face. When I was little and he would throw me into the rocks outside. I was horrifically abused. Every. Day. Of. My. Life. I can not stress enough, this was every second of every day.

It got to the point where I trusted no one. Absolutely no one. I can't even look people in the eyes. Like a beaten dog in a cage; I would bite everyone's hand that tried to help. I had no one come to my aid. Including my mom. That was my stepfather, and she would watch, encourage, and join in against me.

For a while, he destroyed my humanity and left me a husk. I'm just beginning to find that humanity again. I've come an extremely long way. It was me who sought therapy.

matt____n , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

88points

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James016 1 year ago

They will die alone and no-one will care.

25points

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#13

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Well my dad died when I was 14, which kinds f****d that one up.

But my mother is a steaming pile of human garbage how kicked me out of home because I wasn't being loving, friendly and supportive of my brother. He had moved back home while waiting for the court system to put him in jail for being a pedophile.

He showed no remorse. He victim blamed. He minimised his actions. He acted like he had never done anything wrong.

I get that she had to support him. I understand that she is the one who needs to house him and do the jail visits and all that. But to tell me that I need to be his f*****g friend during all of that. For trying to say that some of his actions were because of my previous issues with him. For trying to say that a 2 year old led him on, or actively participated. For trying to blame the child's mum and extended family on that side. She can go and get in f*****g bed with that scum, and the day she is finally dead the world will be a better place for it.

And that was only the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

DingusMcFuckstain , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

85points

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BetterBitterButter 1 year ago

A sicko is blaming the victim? Victim who were kids? Poor kids! And I hope he went to jail for life.OP was right to go NC with mom.

54points

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They shared what is important to keep in mind to have a good relationship with your kids: “I believe the most important thing is to hold on to your own childhood memories: How isolating was it to completely disagree with a parent? How hard was it to tell said parents your secrets or fears? How much difference do you feel about controversial topics as a new adult?"

#14

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My girlfriend died, my cat died, my car got stolen—that’s not even the whole list but it all happened so fast.

I called mom for some love and support. She told me, “just remember: everything bad that happens to you is YOUR fault.”

Thanks for the pep talk, ma.

levieleven , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

84points

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Karma Black 1 year ago

My "mother" would say the same, but with different words. "Everything that's happened to you, you've brought upon yourself." That includes SA at 10 years old, and getting beaten nearly to death by total strangers who didn't like that I was Goth at 16.

43points

Invisigoth (xe/xem) 1 year ago

sending interwebz hugs

17points

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Cyber Returns 1 year ago

As my mom would say, "Objects can be replaced. Lives and love hurt the most. Someone steals something? Call the police or buy a new one. Something breaks your heart? That takes time, and you need the support of friends and family" She would then take care of you until you felt better. I do miss my mom

6points

Settled for Infamy 1 year ago

I had pretty much an identical experience and when I cried, my mother got me committed, lying I was suicidal. 1 month at the mercy of my nasty next of kin, pumped full of drugs that scared the daylights out of me. All my fault. I'll NEVER be the same after the horror I endured, when all I wanted was a Hug. So sorry you've had such an experience OP ❤️

5points

Piper 1 year ago (edited)

Wow. What a great mom. Hope she never faces adversity! (Sarcasm)

5points

Anne Jones 1 year ago

She’s totally wrong! Bad things happen to good people. It’s not your fault!

4points

Nightshade1972 1 year ago

I was stalked in college, by a former friend who had mental health issues. When I called my parents to ask them to take me to the local police station to file a report, they literally told me, "We knew he was bad news from the moment you introduced him to us. We told you to stay away from him. Because you didn't, everything that happened afterwards is your fault, and we're not helping you." I went LC with them for years after that. My (so called) mother passed away three years ago, and my father and brother have barely spoken to me since. Good riddance.

3points

tabithapaquette98 1 year ago

What a f***ing b***h!

2points

Trish 1 year ago

Some Mothers are the absolute worst.

1point

James Heinle 1 year ago

Almost sounds like a country song except for Mama's lack of love.

0points

DarkViolet 1 year ago

If ever going no contact was justified.....

0points

SheHulk 1 year ago

Ah yes, "The Secret"! 🤮One of Oprah's promotional efforts.

0points

Michael Largey 1 year ago

Dangle her out a four-story window, and ask her "This is your fault, right Mom?"

-3points

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#15

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) I feel like there are so many points where she is dead to me but she managed to keep making it worst.

1) Murdering my cat and her kittens to punish me at 12 Yr old

2) Beating me whenever she is in a bad mood as a kid to teenager

3) After slapping the s**t out of me infront of her coworkers in her own office, she attempted to murder me by dragging me up a building and trying to push me over, forcing me to jump down telling if I wanted her to be happy, I would jump when I was 17. I was rescued by her coworkers who dragged her away from me.

For context, I was working for her and my mom left a cheque on my table to pass to her employee. I picked up and look at the cheque and placed it face up on my table because I was busy going back to typing. Her employee complained to her about that and this was her over reaction towards me.

4)When I was married, she told me that she prayed everyday that my husband would cheat on me and dump me.

5) In my near second marriage, she went to my ex fiance to thrash talk me, saying I would make a terrible mother for his child. Basically my ex fiance asked me what did I do to make my mom hate me so much and I dump him for that as I can't marry a man who pretty much got convinced by my mom I am the problem.

Can all this really ever be forgiven?

When confronting her, her excuse is that I am her daughter, she gave birth to me so she has the right to do whatever she wants to me.

condemned02 , Alex Green Report

Final score:

80points

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Hans Georg 1 year ago

Children are not their parents property. They are their responsibility. And never their retirement plan.

50points

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"Just remember what it feels like to be in their shoes. Even when you think they may be going down the wrong path, approach it like a friend, be kind and patient, and don’t force them into your lifestyle. Gentle parenting truly fosters trust and a feeling of safety. It is 100% the best way to ‘get your way’ over the harsh ‘live as if you’re an extension of me’ parenting. Your child will not agree with you on everything, but with time and patience, they will start to understand your perspective more and more (if you let them), and THAT is what gives them the tools to make those important decisions.”

#16

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My somewhat estranged father insulted my amazing wife. So I didn't talk to him for years.

He got back together with my former stepmom (lovely lady) who told him to smarten the f**k up - losing out on his son, grandkids, etc.

I was hesitant when he called (he had broader issues). Went gingerly until he took a soft shot at my wife. Told him he had two choices - apologize and we will move forward, or I'm done. He took another shot, I said we are done and hung up.

He proceeded to take shots online about me, his ex, my mom. But, he died alone, unfound for a month. I had his online presence wiped.

DrMichaelHfuhruhurr , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

78points

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Nitka Tsar 1 year ago

Sound like his girlfriend dumped him too. Nice

4points

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#17

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Trauma dump...sorry in advance.
SA at 7 by a teen we went to church with while his and my parents watched TV in the other room with my little sister. The most they did was tell me it didn't happen and to move on. Continued to drag me to that house for movie nights. Had blocked it out for years until I could afford my own therapy. Which brought back some of those memories. Apparently things that hit hard enough, your body sorta forces you to forget them, black them out. I confronted them about it and they told me "yeah but that was so long ago. It doesn't matter anymore"

They also played favorites. To where the favoritism became a joke between lil sis and I. She hates feeling like an investment to them and we both hate the blatant "golden child" situation. Grandmother had passed and left money for my sis and I for college. They took it all to pay for sis'. (We are 2 years apart). I saved up and got my car, they bought her two. I saved and bought my first house. They bought her one 20k pricier and down the road from me.

Needless to say....it took far longer than it needed to for me to say "okay. It's time to end this". And years and years of healing. Daily I'm scared I'll never get my confidence back , I'll never like who I am etc. It sucks. And at this point it's up to me to heal and move on, because they brush off any attempt of closure, understanding, or sympathy

Tldr: both parents failed to be a secure place for me.
The world started out cruel and continued to be so for most my life. Realising Im never going to be able to address or fix the issues with them..and decide to move past it on my own. Was the best and hardest decision

Sorry again for the dump. Omg. Felt better to get it out though..and sorry for typos.. it's late and I'm on mobile.

SociallyIneptUnicorn , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

70points

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Spencer's slave 1 year ago

Have a genuine Mum hug across the ether xo

38points

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The user also gave some tips for parents: “Treat them with the respect you would show another adult because even if they’re your child, you need to earn that respect. Love comes easily, but respect takes action over words. Show them that you see them as an equal, and they will do the same!”

#18

Welp, story time I guess.

I have reached *this* status with both of my biological parents. I'm a 35m, and am gay. Both of my parents are religious to an extreme. I came out rather early in teen years. I didn't really have a deep relationship with my dad, but I knew to draw the line when he basically came to the conclusion that my homosexuality was because I was possessed by Satan and his demons. After I went no contact I think he just disowned me. Haven't spoken with him since my early to mid 20's.

My mom on the other hand... Well, that was more emotionally messy. I won't go too much into details, but it was probably a combination of things.

I had recently moved back in with her. That was definitely where I first f*cked up. My mom, and her family are what I would call "traditional Catholic". And she is very devoted. I think she was hoping that my moving back in meant I was moving back into the faith. I had, and still have, no intention of being part of a religion that has the ***literal*** definition of homosexuality in their catechism as "*being intrinsically disordered."* and *"incapable of love in the way that God intended it."* We've had many disagreements over the years, but honestly, I think it just finally sank in. It all went down on Jan 30th, 2020, just before the pandemic hit. It was around 2am in the morning on a Saturday night going into Sunday morning. I was coming home from work, and came home to find the locks on the house had been changed, there were two suitcases outside the door with my insulin (I'm a type 1 diabetic) in one and some clothes shoved in another. Mind you, this was over the weekend, and in the city we were in the homeless shelter closed at 7pm Friday. And if you weren't in, you weren't in. So I had no where to go. I tried calling my mom, but she wouldn't answer any of my calls. She then called the cops because I wouldn't leave. I was on foot without a car. She then proceeded to file a restraining order on me. Thankfully, I was able to find a sheltered place to sleep for that night, but that was the start of my journey as being homeless for the next 2 years.

I lost pretty much everything that night. I had never felt so abandoned. And what's f-ed up is that even to this day, I don't know what happened to tip her over the edge.

Things are better now. I'm in a different city about 2 hours away from all that. I am still trying to get back on my feet. But this city's homeless programs are far better then where I came from. I have a small studio apartment, I'm seeking therapy for complex PTSD, truama, and depression. I've been seeing a psychiatrist, and am working with a case worker who is helping to make sure I get all that need. But where I drew the line with my mom came 6 months after the first restraining order.

She. Renewed. The. Restraining. Order.

After I had clearly moved 2 hours away. While I was living in a WHOLE OTHER TOWN! All after I reached out to her through a third party (staff member at the shelter I was staying at) when the pandemic hit because I wanted to make sure she was okay. That was the moment my desire for any kind of relationship with her died. I have accepted it, and am working on bettering myself and my life.

Anyway, sorry for the long story. But thank you for this post, it was actually really cathartic. And encouraging, thinking back at how far I've come. I hope and "pray" we all get safely to where we are going. Be kind to yourselves all. <3

Philathius_Eventide Report

Final score:

69points

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Deborah Rubin 1 year ago

Pray isn't only for organized religion. It can simply mean a hope a wish a simply talking to the universe and not expecting an answer.

19points

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#19

It was “his weekend” and I needed tampons. He took me to Walgreens and tried to drop me at the door and I said “I don’t have any money” so he gave me cash and said I could pay him back. I was 12. He wasn’t kidding. Never respected my dad again after that. I told my mom and she offered to send me with money but I told her I didn’t want to go there anymore after that.

AnitaVodkasoda Report

Final score:

57points

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- 1 year ago

"Pay me back" - the father was asking his 12-year-old for child support money???

34points

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They also shared their opinion on some major mistakes parents make with their kids: “I think sheltering your kids too much creates adults that are totally unequipped for the real world. They lack critical thinking skills and will question their every move. Every word you say to a kid sticks with them, some more than most, so teach them right from wrong but also that gray area of life, so they can feel confident in their abilities to be independent. Obviously as well, don’t just fully let them do their own thing with no guidance. Find a balance and stick with it, be consistent. I’m sure there are countless other important factors, but the above was huge for me. I moved out and was just so lost, doubtful of myself, and truly had no idea how to operate in this difficult world on my own. I jumped from relationship to relationship, just trying to find validation in myself. I had no clue how to function for a long time. Thankfully, I’ve found my way, but my peers were way ahead of me in so many ways because my parents did so much for me in the wrong ways - ways that prevented me from learning my own critical life skills.”

#20

I used to be my dads favorite child because I was the youngest. It’s as the more I grew a conscious and saw the s****y things he did like beat my mom, the less I wanted to be associated with him. I remember I was a good student in school, mostly straight A’s and he would ask me why I didn’t wake up at 6am, and study 12 hours that day. I remember one day I was on a laptop reading a sports article and he got upset that I wasn’t reading educational stuff and ripped the laptop away from me by the screen and threw it (This is the what I mostly tried to use to do my schoolwork). The more I list it, the more it sounds worse tbh and it sucked cause I couldn’t tell anyone how dead I felt inside. With mostly straight A’s, I remember he told me it wasn’t good enough and it was s**t and I needed to be studying 12 hours a day and like the next day u remember he got in a fight with my mom and put his hands on her and I got involved and he told he wished I was dead and never born and I kind of wanted to commit suicide suicide after all of this cause I just felt neglected by everyone and felt like no one really gave a s**t. I don’t know how I made it through alive in my teen years. I mostly don’t talk to him anymore but now I just feel emotionally dead inside and anything resembling fun is not allowed because I feel guilty cause I was having fun. To anyone who reads this, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. There’s so much more that happened in between those years but I’ll leave it at that.

Illustrious-Slice-91 Report

Final score:

56points

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PandaGoPanda 1 year ago

Go ahead and have fun - it's making up for lost time. And take your mom with you if you can.

19points

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#21

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) My mother often said, "Your sorry daddy never cared enough about you to pay child support," but I found out later, he had money order receipts. He was a career Navy man so he'd have been forced to pay.

She stole two of my paychecks when I was a single mother, signing them over to herself in her sweeping left handwriting, I'm right-handed.

The final thing that made her my EX-mom was when she let two drug addicted so-called caregivers steal liquid morphine which was meant for her dying fourth husband. He died in miserable pain at home without relief. She disowned my adult sister, who confronted her about it. Mom always said, "I can stand anything except a liar or a thief," but she was both.

Grattytood , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

51points

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Inga Paškevičiūtė 1 year ago

She can't stand it, but has no problem doing this to other people. Double standards everywhere

14points

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#22

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) When my parents were in the middle of their divorce, my mom moved out and went to live with her parents. They had a camper in the yard where she was staying, but she would still be in and out of the house multiple times a day, so it's not like they never saw her.

One night around 1am she texts me and tells me she's in the hospital, and has been there for three days. I ask what's wrong, and she tells me she's been diagnosed with "broken heart syndrome" and her cardiologist says that she only has six months to live, unless my dad calls off the divorce.

She's obviously insane, so I play along. I ask what her cardiologists name is, what hospital she's at, her room number, etc. I immediately call the hospital she claims to be staying at.

First I ask for the patient switchboard. Tell them her name, and what room she's in, and lo and behold, "we don't have anyone in that room by that name"

So at this point, I explain what my mother has told me, and I ask if there's a Dr. Blank that works in cardiology there. "No, I don't think we have any doctors here by that name." Thank you, I assumed you would say that, sorry to bother you.

In the morning I call my grandmother. "Hey, is mum okay?" Of course she is, she went to work this morning. "Really? Because she told me she's dying in the hospital." My grandmother called her at work to confront her, and this idiot hangs up, goes to her car, and just sits there pretending to be passed out until one of her coworkers finds her and calls 911. When paramedics arrive and she "comes to" she tells them she took a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt. They rush her in, the hospital calls me, and my grandmother and I rush in to meet her.

She's "unconscious" when we arrive, but very much living, and the doctor obviously knows this, so he pulls us into another room to talk to us where she can't listen in.

He tells us they've run several blood tests and she absolutely did not take any pills. If she took anything at all, it wasn't enough to show up in her bloodwork. He basically tells us he's diagnosing her a liar and sends us all home, with a mandatory therapy session booked for her. She did go to her session, but only the one. She learned a couple deep breaths and decided she never needed to go back.

This isn't even the craziest thing she's done or said to me, but it was the thing that made me never speak to her again

GlassPeepo , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

50points

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Piper 1 year ago

Sounds like borderline personality disorder. It’s so rough to love someone who suffers from this at times.

22points

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#23

Soooo much trauma from a narc Mum. After a suicide attempt because I had miscarried my baby, she sat in the family conference and said she's not surprised because my Dad also has mental health issues. My brother (we were adults at the time and he was living with me due to being homeless and no job) pushed me through an internal glass door, he has anger issues and untreated ODD, he also beat my dog because he stepped on her while she was sleeping and she snapped at him. My Mum came home and when I told her what happened she took my brothers side, told me I'm a b***h like my Dad (they were divorced). So I don't speak to either of them, it's been 10 years. It's difficult to come to terms with cutting toxic people from your life, especially family. But your mental health and wellbeing shouldn't suffer because of anyone.

kina_farts Report

Final score:

47points

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Nightshade1972 1 year ago

Just because you're biologically related to them doesn't make them "family." I wouldn't feel any guilt about cutting them out.

21points

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#24

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Cheated on my mom after 35 years together. Agreed to go to counseling but wanted to sweep the whole thing under the rug. Called me to explain his actions and "take responsibility" but negated the whole conversation by ending with "but it wasn't my fault."

They divorced. He remarried quickly while my mom will be all alone as the demographics are not in her favor.

As we were growing up, he developed a chemical imbalance and it was like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When called out on his s****y behavior, he'd hide behind "I have depression and that's a disability." OK, but it's not a license to be an a*****e to everyone around you.

KellyAnn3106 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

40points

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GlitterPanda 1 year ago

"OK, but it's not a license to be an a*****e to everyone around you." This is so true!!!

22points

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#25

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Oddly, she showed me she was capable of being kind- however disingenuous. She just wasn’t capable of being kind to me.

Evening_Run_1595 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

40points

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- 1 year ago

Sometimes, people show crumbs of potential decency, but it's just a crumb. It's not characteristic of them.

10points

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#26

my dad was driving and i was in the front seat and we were arguing about some petty s**t that is typical of immigrants raising kids that were born in the country they immigrated to - culture shock can be a b***h. he proceeded to say he was going to crash the car into the jackknife trailer ahead and went to 80 mph only to stop short.

but the real feather on the camels back was coming to my graduation ceremony from grad school (12 years after the above) only to complain about me posting stuff about graduating from a reputable business school was me being too much of a show-off.

i acknowledge his presence when i see him, but i have no interest in anything about him.

w0ke_brrr_4444 Report

Final score:

40points

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tabithapaquette98 1 year ago

Like all these sick a** "parents, you should go NC with him. He is toxic.

5points

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#27

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Force fed me and my sister awful tasting mix of cold syrups whenever we didn't meet his expectations when we were kids

GoneElviss , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

35points

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Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago

Pretty sure that counts as attempted poisoning.

15points

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#28

I had begun the process of 'burying the living ' with him. He was became such a loser but he dragged my brother down with him. Encouraged him to do drugs that didn't agree with him. I kept a relationship with him to stay close to my family. Then I got a phone call that my brother had died. My dad had 'restrained' him and he had a heart attack. The prescribed anti anxieties he was taking to counter act all the negative effects from the drugs my dad encouraged him to take have this side effect. He just banged on a door and my dad chocked him out. My dad is dead to me but I talk to my brother every day.

The_Libra_man Report

Final score:

34points

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Yeet_girl360 1 year ago

So the dad choked the brother out? shouldn't the dad be in prison?

9points

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#29

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) They never actually cared about me. The both of them.

Careless-Ad-1341 , Liza Summer Report

Final score:

33points

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no 1 year ago

I’m sorry, they’re terrible parents

1point

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#30

My mother and her life time of verbal abuse, worst one is back when I was suffering from the darkest depression of my life took my mother 1 year to notice something was wrong and instead of being a caring parent she straight up told me I should kill myself. Hearing that killed the relationship with her. I’m Only around from time to time because she is my mother but I don’t really care for her

Odd_Imagination_6617 Report

Final score:

32points

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Vicki Cunningham 1 year ago

Just because she's your mother in no way means you need to be around from time to time.

18points

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#31

Emotional and psychological abuse. It wasnt one event it was more of a realization that the cycle of abuse was going to continue to repeat itself. One of the last times I was in the cycle of being the "bad kid" in the family and I was hurt and upset my boyfriend (now husband) said 'why did you think it would be any different? If you someone keeps punching you in the face and you keep getting within arms reach, what do you expect will happen?'' And it was the first time anyone had ever pointed that I had a choice to not allow it. It was 15 years ago. The healthier I got the sicker I realized they were.

I would never campaign for people to cut family off for something that can be worked out but I totally advocate for cutting all ties with toxic people. Toxic will always be toxic until they do work to heal themselves.

Solid-Question-3952 Report

Final score:

15points

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Karen Lyon 1 year ago (edited)

That's very similar to the conversation between someone I know and her hubby. After every call with her mother, my friend would be in tears. Her hubs simply asked why she was putting in the effort when it wasn't getting her anywhere. I think he had to say it more than once, but however often he did, it got through to her. This woman's mother has grown grandchildren and school aged great-grandchildren she's never met because of the BS she pulls without remorse. "Mommy Dearest" thinks she has the last laugh in this general family estrangement, since she and the second husband are filthy rich. His kids from his first marriage (plus grandkids) will get all her money. She doesn't seem to grasp that her daughters, son, and all of that part of the family honestly don't give a flying f**k. Their attitude is that no amount of money would make up for how she's treated them or induce them to put up with anything like it any more. They're thriving without it.

4points

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#32

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Dad left us when I was super young, like 2, mom remarried (another abusive a*****e) and dad would come around sporadically. When I was 12 I saw him once then he left and didn’t see him again for decades. About 13 years ago I stumbled upon him in the state prison system database across the country, made contact, he seemed to be changed, he was old, previously meth addicted, lots of chronic health s**t. I bought him a prepaid cell to keep in touch. He went back to the streets but stayed clean. Eventually moved in with some random long lost family member. We kept in touch by phone, I helped him get some of his health shot figured out. We were cordial. I got pregnant unexpectedly, it was in the 5 year plan but not the right now plan but whatever, here we are, no reason not to do this thing other than lack of mental preparedness. So. I go through this pregnancy, it was horrible in every way, physically uncomfortable, illness, bed rest, all the s**t. He called me one day and told me he was going to go to the beach to celebrate his 20 year anniversary of moving to the coast. He’d never let himself enjoy the beach before and today was that day. What I heard was that he was going to the beach to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of abandoning his child, me. And I had these kids in my belly that I sometimes didn’t want, didn’t plan for, but would’ve murdered for and I didn’t even know who they were, didn’t know if they were boys or girls, no names, no personalities, just feet in my ribs and pelvis constantly, and yet I would have died for them. And this m**********r is celebrating the day he left me. I never called him again, my kids are almost 10. He’s called me plenty, I don’t answer. I reply in text at times, briefly. I’ve sent Christmas cards to the family member he stays with and to him with pictures and I’ve politely explained the above and he just doesn’t get it.

tobmom , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

13points

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#33

Mentally and physically abusive our whole lives, mother had to leave the country when i was around 16.. 2 brothers 6 and 12, sister 17, left us with him... couldnt handle taking care of us so he pretty much up and left haha... been on our own since then..raised my youngest brother myself... he is now going into his senior year in highschool... i would say i did pretty good for myself and us .. f**k.him

juniorboo239 Report

Final score:

13points

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Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 1 year ago

Thank you for taking on the responsibility of raising your brother. No one should ever have to give up their childhood or young adult years to care for a child in those kind of circumstances. But I guarantee your brother is better off than he would've been if he had been put in foster care.

0points

#34

I was 19 and pregnant. My boyfriend and I had just met a few months prior and I had gotten pregnant quickly. Not ideal circumstances, but it was what it was and we got on with it.
While on vacation, my dad, who had fairly recently become an alcoholic, got drunk and hit me and started raging through the house, trying to break down the doors after I locked him out because he was insane.
I called the cops and when they dragged him out from where he was hiding outside, in front of the police officers, my mom, and our neighbor, he screamed (about me) “SHE F****D HIM! SHE F****D HIM ON THE FIRST DATE! SHE F****D HIM!” Over and over and over and over for 20 minutes, I’ve never felt such shame and embarrassment in my life. Hitting me, cornering me and screaming incoherently while he foamed at the mouth, and chasing me through the house like a scene from a horror movie while I was 5 months pregnant, was bad enough. Screaming about my sex life to the entire neighborhood with such hatred and disdain for me was worse.

Bighawklittlehawk Report

Final score:

13points

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Pyla 1 year ago

Women's sexuality has been historically under lock and key by men in many cultures. Horrific.

5points

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#35

Not my parent, but the father of my ex wife killed himself on an anti psychotic (the same one I now take, not gonna linger on that) to punish his daughters (five of them) for cutting him out of their lives.
He had a lot of mental health issues, and refused treatment for most of them, but died horrifically in a suicide that he knew would haunt them forever. He was sick, and needed help I will grant, but his daughters couldnt offer it due to his abusive nature, and his church (I wont name the specific Utah residing church) wouldn't offer ti because he wasn't up to date on his tithes.

Asthaloth Report

Final score:

12points

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Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)

There comes a time when the death of people like this, either by natural causes or suicide, or any other way to die, comes as a relief threat they’re finally GONE! It’s over, and the healing can ramp up because they’re no longer there to f**k it all up for you. Don’t let the a*****e make you feel guilty. You have no guilt, you were their victim. They’re dead, good riddance to bad rubbish. Believe me, with them out of the world, it can be the most freeing experience of your life. Breathe easy. Your tormentor is right where they belong, burning in hell sucking the s**t out of Beelzebub’s a*s (I’m not even religious, I just like the imagery).

4points

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#36

Day before my first job, he went to prison. Found out he was a rapist and sold child pornography. He lied to me about everything. Bought me a lot of nice gifts with the money he got from exploiting children. Convinced me my own mother was a psychopath (shes not). Gave me life long trust issues with anyone. And an untold amount of rage and hate against rapists and pedos.

GabeStop42 Report

Final score:

12points

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Nay Wilson 1 year ago

I’m with you there. Rapists and paedophiles are the lowest kind of scumbags. There’s no forgiving someone who harms a child like that

14points

#37

"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers) Needed him to take me to meet up with my mom so i could go home and help her with something. Said he was okay with it and he'd do it. Day of, he claimed that we had never asked him to do it and that it was totally unreasonable. The original exchange was over text, so that didn't really hold up. Basically he didn't actually want to do it and thought he could get out of it by throwing a big fit. (No it wasn't a custody thing, this was when i was in college)

I stopped talking to him once he started blowing up my phone insulting my mom for inconveniencing him and then realized that i actually had no desire to talk to him again. There had been other problems with him that he never took accountability for, so this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He was an addict and it made him unpredictable. He would treat me badly and make me not tell my mom so he "wouldn't get in trouble". He would "forget" the various insults he threw at me, but then when he got mad he'd say something like "this is why I said (thing he claimed he forgot about)". He also cheated on my mom, but i didn't find that out until later.

Oh and also when my mom died he came to her house and stole some stuff. Sent me pictures of the stuff he stole. Tried to intimidate me by saying that if i got a restraining order we'd have to be in the same room together. Got the restraining order anyway (Jokes on him, it was a zoom call). I've been doing good, life is better than i thought possible. Part of me feels bad for the guy, but i just can't have him in my life anymore.

MurdererOfAxes , Nicola Barts Report

Final score:

10points

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#38

not no contact but very limited and selective what i tell her.
there a dozen of examples but last year i wanted to have my birthday celebration at my grandmas house cause she has a garden and my mom only a flat and i wanted to grill instead of ordering pizza or go to a restaurant. well she did not like that and after some back and forth and me just repeating i want to grill and its summer and we can sit outside at granmas she told me "well go do it at grandmas then nobody wants to talk to you anyway"
lets just say i said "yeah right" and left.
guess what we had my birthday at grandmas

it was my 25th bday btw

gfddssoh Report

Final score:

10points

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#39

Cheating on my mom for 5years

the_one_walnoot Report

Final score:

10points

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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CandyMan 1 year ago

My mom's side of the family, and my "dads" side, are nothing but abusers, addicts, abusers, pedos, alcoholics, and narcissistic liars. Only my mom, my sibling, and I are decent human beings. I have big dogs in my yard to ensure those freaks stay away from my house. My mom put my name on her house to make sure a certain relative will get nothing when she dies.

10points

GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

Yikes. Wishing you luck that sounds scary.

3points

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Ray Arani 1 year ago (edited)

I went temporarily NC with my mom after she suggested (and was uncomfortablly pushy about it) that she take my son (and the child support of course) when I was struggling with healing from an injury, but was providing for and caring for him just fine. After she'd spent most of my childhood neglecting me while letting her husband abuse me? She was divorced and single but even if I'd needed someone to take my kid, which I did not, she'd have been the last option. I was paranoid she'd try to take him legally so I went NC for over a year. Also went NC with my dad for three years starting when I was pregnant, I mentioned I wasn't planning on circumcising and he flat out told me (serious) he'd kidnap my son to take him to have it done. After not getting to meet his only grandkid for three years, I gave him another chance, letting him know of he tried anything my son would be raised by my bestie while I published my books from prison, serving for patricide. Also dead serious. Permanent NC from my adoptive father when he and my mom finally divorced and my half siblings were either grown or out of his house. I'd have gone NC at 13 the first time he locked me out had it not been for wanting to look out for my mom and siblings, (11 and 13 years younger than me).

8points

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 1 year ago

BLOOD DOES NOT EQUAL FAMILY. I understand it's hard for kids to get away from their parents when they live with them. But as an adult we can choose our family. My closest family doesn't share a drop of blood with me, and I'm better off because of it. Stay strong and seek the help you deserve. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Rememner, your kidney is your blood too, but if it harms you, you remove it.

7points

LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 year ago

My racist, misogynistic sperm donor told me his greatest fear was that I would bring home a POC as a partner. Not that I might be assaulted (twice by partners), raped (once), or kidnapped (narrowly missed that one by running away from the van full of men in the opposite direction).

5points

naksaystheduck 1 year ago

My mom turned into a heavy drinker after my dad filed for divorce, she lost custody, I grew up with my paternal grandparents from age 6 on. They still tried to include her in my life and I visited her regularly. She seemed to get better in between, but then met her new husband (abusive addict), got pregnant with twins, lost custody of them too, when they were around 4 years old (I was 15 back then and cut all contact, only had one long call with her 20 years later after my father died). I couldn't keep on being part of her tragic life, it just hurt too much. But it seems as if she got better again (new guy, this time a nice one and she is also drinking way less than before).

5points

Nightshade1972 1 year ago

My (alleged) mother used to love to tell me, "You're such a stupid, selfish, worthless b***h, it's no wonder you don't have any friends. It's no wonder you can't find/keep a boyfriend or a husband (I'm not straight). The only reason we put up with you is because we have to, we're related to you. Nobody else would want you!" Why would she tell me that, you ask? Usually because she'd just discovered there was no cold Coke (or no Coke at all) in the house for her to drink, which was obviously my fault. *Eyeroll* I went LC with her after I moved out. She died of cancer three years ago, and my father and brother have barely spoken to me since. Good riddance.

5points

Heather Rowland 1 year ago

My parents had their oldest daughter run a full and complete criminal and background check including his credit. THEN, they contacted his exes asking their opinions about him. THEN, tried to stage an intervention with me IN MY OWN HOME while he was at work. They even had police with them and a uhaul truck. THEN, when we had our daughter they tried to get my husband kicked out of recovery to be with "their daughter and her child." Called him selfish when the head nurse and doctor refused them entry. THEN, while pregnant with our son said coming to the hospital was a "waste of their time since I found out the gender." THEN, called me a whore among other names. The list goes on and on. I blocked the last straw when I went NC but I was literally screaming at them over the phone. I was 31 and second marriage when we married. We were engaged and pregnant. They were like this my entire life. 45 years old and I finally grew the strength to go NC and not feel guilty.

4points

GV Martinez-Williams 1 year ago

I had to stop reading these post because they were breaking my heart. I'm so sorry for all of you. Tomorrow I'll be calling my parents (who got divorced when I was around 6 but still manage to be friends and never had custody fights) and tell how much I love them.

4points