When the government shut down over the border wall, it was the public service workers that got hit hard. Essential workers were told they must continue to come to work while “non-essential” workers, were told to stay home on furlough or temporary unpaid leave. Being called a “non-essential” worker when you are an integral cog in the machine of society was a slap in the face to many, but for some workers, this term is more than accurate.
Image credits: istolethetv (not the actual photo)
Someone on Quora asked the question “Have you ever had a job where you did nothing for years and nobody found out?” and while many users responded but one answer stood out
And user Shayne Wyatt responded with this ludicrous but true story about his former co-worker Bob:
“I once worked at a steel company and there used to be this guy with a clipboard and pen,
who would continually be in the stock area checking labels, boxes, pallets, shipping packages. His name was Bob and everyone liked him, he was personable, was into sports, just an all round nice guy who got along with everyone staff, managers, bosses, everyone. Bob had been with the company all of 15 years by then, and you have to understand, this was a large steel mill with a couple thousand people working throughout the three mills on the same property. Anyway, at a managers meeting a decision was made to have an employee look after a certain area of finished nails, screws, nuts and bolts. They were scratching their head about who had the brains to handle it. One of the managers said, “Why not Bob?”
Everyone knew right away who he was referring to and they all agreed he would probably be the best man for the job
The next question out of the manager’s mouth was “Okay, which one of you guys does he work for?” And no one said a word, but looked around the table at the other managers. “C’mon, he’s gotta work for someone here.” The manager said, and still there was no answer. Someone piped up, “Maybe he works for one of the office managers.”
Long story short Bob worked at the plant for over 15 years, collecting a paycheck each and every week
For the first five years he worked in a department that became obsolete and so people were moved around to other areas of the mill, except for Bob. He got lost in the shuffle and found himself floating here and there without supervision or anyone ever paying attention to him. He waited to see if he would still get a paycheck and when that happened he thought at the time, “Well, I wonder how long I can get away with this before someone notices?” How about 10 years folks of weekly paychecks coming in without ever having had to work a day in his life.
When this came out it was the talk of the whole operations and even reached the president of the company
who could only laugh at the whole situation. Nonetheless Bob was let go, but HR told them they had to offer him a good severance package because he was an employee after all for the full 15 years he was there, and it was not his fault he had nothing to do. Management should have caught it in the beginning. I’m 75 now and this happened when I was still a young man, and had pretty much forgotten about it all until I read the question and I could not hold back a big silly grin about a wonderfully silly memory of Bob.
Thanks for the memory.”
Other people in the thread had different but equally bizarre stories
what is a lot more common is for a worker to work hard and well from the heart with zeal for ten years, AND NOT GET NOTICED.
The really funny thing about the story of Bob is that when they found a job for him to do... they let him go.
One of my old work places was closed for the summer so I had an option to work with the cleaning staff for a month to get paid for the full summer. It was a huge vocational school with many buildings. The cleaning staff gave me some cleaning rags, liquid soap and a bucket and I had to wash all the lockers at the locker looms that the students and the staff used. I found plenty of ways to make that work really fast so I really used 10 minutes to clean and 20 minutes to play Bejeweled with my phone at every locker room. Still the cleaning staff thought that I was doing my job very well. :D
I worked at a ski mountain in the pro shop. Everyone was on cocaine, having sex in the bathroom, stealing product, etc.., I went to the owner to tell him He didn't care? So I started just going to work to punch in then I'd go snowboarding all-day and go punch out. Everyday. I didn't follow my schedule or anything. Just got paid to snowboard. All winter long. The best part was walking into work in my gear and punching in and out in front of my coworkers everyday and them being too dumb to realize what I was doing. My boss had to sign off on the payroll every week. And his drugged out mind didn't notice a thing wrong.
Western European people can teach you that too.
Load More Replies...At least 4 years at a global bank being paid very well to play games on my phone or read books on my Kindle. It got even better when I got to "work" from home full time. Then I was being paid to go the the gym and train for triathlons. When they finally eliminated the department by outsourcing it, I got a nice severance package. I feel no guilt. They're notorious for wasting money and dishonest practices.
My brother in law is a radar technician. He had a job maintaining a computer that coordinated air traffic control across Europe. Pretty essential stuff. If it ever went down he had to fix it in a matter of minutes or else all hell might break loose in the skies. Thing is it never once broke. He spent his entire time on that job playing Xbox games or sleeping on a camping bed he moved into the room next door.
Although this is hilarious, it's loaded with consequences. When every product and service is measured in value per dollar, think about all of the Bobs yin your company as they start to downsize, outsource, or simply lose business to a competitor and shut the doors. Also, if you work with a Bob and he gets found out, it sends a shockwave of distrust though management - how many other Bobs work for me? Did everyone know about this and laugh behind my back? What else will I find if I change from a trust system to full CCTV surveillance? All it takes is one bad apple to ruin it for the rest!
I remember being a kid and a friend of the family worked for the council in parks maintenance, he used to get rostered on on the weekend and go in, punch in mow the lawn in an hour, go home and have a BBQ with the family and friends and then drive back in the evening and punch out, still got paid the full day. They also did pay in envelopes, Manager would send the info to whomever did the pays, the envelopes would come back and the two or three extras would be pocketed by the Manager. Before tax file numbers and the like, there were a lot of phantom employees in many council jobs.
what is a lot more common is for a worker to work hard and well from the heart with zeal for ten years, AND NOT GET NOTICED.
The really funny thing about the story of Bob is that when they found a job for him to do... they let him go.
One of my old work places was closed for the summer so I had an option to work with the cleaning staff for a month to get paid for the full summer. It was a huge vocational school with many buildings. The cleaning staff gave me some cleaning rags, liquid soap and a bucket and I had to wash all the lockers at the locker looms that the students and the staff used. I found plenty of ways to make that work really fast so I really used 10 minutes to clean and 20 minutes to play Bejeweled with my phone at every locker room. Still the cleaning staff thought that I was doing my job very well. :D
I worked at a ski mountain in the pro shop. Everyone was on cocaine, having sex in the bathroom, stealing product, etc.., I went to the owner to tell him He didn't care? So I started just going to work to punch in then I'd go snowboarding all-day and go punch out. Everyday. I didn't follow my schedule or anything. Just got paid to snowboard. All winter long. The best part was walking into work in my gear and punching in and out in front of my coworkers everyday and them being too dumb to realize what I was doing. My boss had to sign off on the payroll every week. And his drugged out mind didn't notice a thing wrong.
Western European people can teach you that too.
Load More Replies...At least 4 years at a global bank being paid very well to play games on my phone or read books on my Kindle. It got even better when I got to "work" from home full time. Then I was being paid to go the the gym and train for triathlons. When they finally eliminated the department by outsourcing it, I got a nice severance package. I feel no guilt. They're notorious for wasting money and dishonest practices.
My brother in law is a radar technician. He had a job maintaining a computer that coordinated air traffic control across Europe. Pretty essential stuff. If it ever went down he had to fix it in a matter of minutes or else all hell might break loose in the skies. Thing is it never once broke. He spent his entire time on that job playing Xbox games or sleeping on a camping bed he moved into the room next door.
Although this is hilarious, it's loaded with consequences. When every product and service is measured in value per dollar, think about all of the Bobs yin your company as they start to downsize, outsource, or simply lose business to a competitor and shut the doors. Also, if you work with a Bob and he gets found out, it sends a shockwave of distrust though management - how many other Bobs work for me? Did everyone know about this and laugh behind my back? What else will I find if I change from a trust system to full CCTV surveillance? All it takes is one bad apple to ruin it for the rest!
I remember being a kid and a friend of the family worked for the council in parks maintenance, he used to get rostered on on the weekend and go in, punch in mow the lawn in an hour, go home and have a BBQ with the family and friends and then drive back in the evening and punch out, still got paid the full day. They also did pay in envelopes, Manager would send the info to whomever did the pays, the envelopes would come back and the two or three extras would be pocketed by the Manager. Before tax file numbers and the like, there were a lot of phantom employees in many council jobs.






















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