30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today

Researchers have found that embarrassment is adaptive. We feel it more when we make mistakes in front of people who are close to us and less in front of outsiders.

(This is because we identify with our social groups and value their opinions over others, which allows embarrassment to elicit forgiveness and advertise trustworthiness, ultimately helping us repair relationships.)

So to learn about human nature, Reddit user Jotazepp decided to utilize the anonymity of the internet and asked everyone else on the platform to share the most sheepish things the world would find out if they were to suddenly pass away.

Let the discussion be a reminder to clear your browsing history!

This post may include affiliate links.

I'm 71, when I die the surprise is: I spent all the money.

State_Dear Report

Final score:

155points

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I subscribe to a hedgehog rehab charity

wazbang , Pixabay Report

Final score:

152points

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We contacted Jotazepp, and the Redditor was kind enough to have a little chat with us.

"I got the idea for the post when I was watching some crime content (I don't remember the exact case, but this applies to many of them) where a significant other discovers the body of their loved one," Jotazepp told Bored Panda.

"So I thought, 'My bathroom is so filthy, what if I die and someone encounters this mess? How embarrassing!'"

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I'm female, and a male ex of mine loves dressing up in women's clothes, especially lacy underwear, silky nighties etc. He was really scared he was going to die and his family would find all this stuff. So he keeps it in an old suitcase of mine with my name, flight tags and address on it. So it looks like I've left it at his house. I personally think they'll still be surprised as I don't wear anything fancy (just jeans, black t shirts, etc), but it keeps him happy.

Cold_Hamster_1041 , Max Vakhtbovycn Report

Final score:

140points

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today That I write romance books under a pen name and they sell LOL.

WestGotIt1967 Report

Final score:

139points

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today To do lists from when I've been depressed with stuff like "take a shower" and "go outside" and mostly not crossed off.

go_eat_worms , Suzy Hazelwood Report

Final score:

137points

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After getting familiar with the discussion, Jotazepp said, "A lot of people seem to be afraid of someone finding their kinky stuff (taste in pornography, sex toys, etc). Also, a recurring answer with which I agree was 'My search history.'"

Personally, the Redditor isn't fond of the emotion. "I think embarrassment is a negative feeling because it makes me feel uncomfortable."

And it's understandable. Who wouldn't prefer all of our social interactions to proceed smoothly? We don't want to offend our colleagues or look like oafs to our crushes.

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I still play with G.I. Joe’s and ninja turtles in the bathtub and I’m 42 years old.

MC_Sepsmegistus-Jr , ragnarxx Report

Final score:

137points

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How much I’m lacking money on my bank account… And how terrible I’ve considered myself all my life 😂

Oh and… my darkest habit maybe, I always hated injustice. So sometimes I’m tracking crazy people that are seeking for children on the internet

Making them lose their time, go to false rendez-vous, and scare them so they actually aren’t meeting anyone, except their darkes fear 🤭.

lBlaze42 Report

Final score:

128points

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today The hello kitty tattoo on my butt... I'm a guy

Delightfulboi , infpkarolinka Report

Final score:

126points

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today My 71-year-old single, never married aunt passed away last month. Upon her death, we discovered she was a hoarder. Her house was so cluttered with stuff that there was barely a narrow pathway to walk anywhere inside it.

Had this been discovered while she was alive, it would've been extremely embarrassing for her.

More information: My aunt wouldn't allow anyone in the family in her home during her last 10 years. Her home wasn't always like that. She wasn't found dead in her home. She was taken to the hospital when her sister (my Mom) hadn't heard from her for four days which hadn't happened before. My Mom called the police to check on her and that's when she was found on the floor of her bedroom unable to move and unable to reach her cellphone. Once in the hospital, she refused to allow anyone to retrieve her cellphone from her house. Out of respect for her privacy, no one retrieved it until she passed.

My aunt was loved by everyone who knew her. She was a kind, thoughtful, and generous person. Her secret once exposed did not diminish our love for her one bit.

thx1138guy , bayfarm Report

Final score:

121points

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#10

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I smoke weed. I’m an old lady now. I’ve smoked for 52 years.

PrettyGoodOldBaby , Los Muertos Crew Report

Final score:

104points

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#11

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I'm kind of known as a geeky academic person in my family and friends. However I write romance stories on one of the online platforms with fake name and have a good following.

They all will be surprised.

Strange-Principle-60 , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:

97points

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#12

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I'm a heterosexual female. My search history would not indicate that.

helicopterdong , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

93points

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#13

For years, I've cultivated an idea for a business. It's a joke idea, but my friends and I have had so many funny conversations about it that it suddenly feels like a legit idea.

The business: "Skeletons in Your Closet". You wear a Fitbit-like device, and when you die, I get an alert. I rush to your house and erase all evidence of anything that would embarrass you. By the time your family gets there, your secrets will be safe!

I got this idea when a couple we hang out with jokingly asked me to dispose of their sex toys if they were to die unexpectedly.

SpanishLearnerUSA Report

Final score:

86points

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#14

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today That I've been conducting a covert mission to document and rate every public restroom I've ever visited, complete with cleanliness scores and ambiance evaluations.

LunaaCakez , Tim Mossholder Report

Final score:

83points

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#15

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today Honestly nothing. I’m that boring. In the autopsy they’d see I have hemorrhoids but besides that not much else.

mte87 , Brett Sayles Report

Final score:

82points

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#16

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today We have some *ahem* interesting proclivities in the bedroom, so we already have a pact with each other to get rid of the evidence if one of us goes first. We have a friend who promised to take care of it if we go at the same time.

Carrots-1975 , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

81points

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#17

To quote Seinfeld…

**JERRY:** Can't you at least die with a little dignity?

**GEORGE:** No I can't. I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?

FiK-SiR Report

Final score:

74points

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#18

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today Diary-entry-like random notes where I’m venting about certain people / situations. Writing has always been a helpful way for me to process more intense/confusing emotions, but I do worry that if I suddenly die those notes will be found and people who I genuinely cared about in life may then think that this one random journal entry represented “the real way” I actually secretly thought about them in totality. When really it was just a moment and not representative of my whole relationship with them.

LaughingOwl4 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

73points

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#19

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I think I’m scared of anybody reading my diary. For my family (husband, kids, parents) , friends and coworkers I’m a smily and active person. But in reality I’m ALWAYS afraid of life, full of depressive thoughts, constantly fighting to not let my anxiety get the control of my mind knowing most of my life anxiety will win. If someone read what I write they will know that I was actually acting to be a good person when actually I’m a psychiatric case with no solution.

No_No_ahMY , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

73points

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#20

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today If you’re reading this worried about someone finding something out- I had a friend who died accidentally from choking himself while pleasuring himself. In an effort to press upon people it wasn’t intentional and in her grief- his mom didn’t care who she told. Nobody else cared either. That’s not what we bring up about him. We’re all just sad he’s gone. Please be careful if that’s your thing, you guys.

littlebluebird555 , Eli Solitas Report

Final score:

69points

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#21

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today If I had died a year ago or so, people would find like 400 photos I took of someone I like doing an online video presentation... I just thought they looked lovely and inspiring and wanted to draw them later, so I needed some references. (The presentation was long and the person did a lot of interesting poses and expressions, so I took many photos.) But if someone found the photos without the context, they'd probably think I'm a crazy stalker.

anon , Christina Morillo Report

Final score:

69points

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#22

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today If they root around my room they're gonna find an entire collection of onesie pajamas, including a Charmander suit, strategically hidden away.

anon , nephanator Report

Final score:

63points

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#23

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today My messy house.

Content_Structure118 , Jessica Hume Report

Final score:

59points

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#24

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I have a sketchbook that I draw sexual stuff in and they are all drawings of me.

31divorceddads , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

58points

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#25

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I told all my friends that if I die before them they should turn my memorial service into a total roast. Be merciless, I told them…..someone’s getting embarrassed. Just not me.

anon , Rhodi Lopez Report

Final score:

54points

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#26

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I have a list of secrets that my sister is in charge of. She is supposed to open it at my funeral and spill all the beans. I'm talking every dark secret between everyone that includes me. I'm hoping everyone leaves happy I'm dead. And the simple fact she still speaks to me is more than enough proof, I know she hasn't opened it yet.

ThatsANiceSauce , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

41points

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#27

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today My web history of fanfics I have been reading

Geekwalker374 , Liza Summer Report

Final score:

41points

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#28

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I am a boring accountant. In my dresser I have one drawer filled with weed gummies. In my underwear drawer I have 2 pair of panties from girls I dated and a set of handcuffs.

vpkumswalla , DANIEL BLAJ Report

Final score:

39points

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#29

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I’ve got an old Playboy magazine under my bed that shows boobs.

MC_Sepsmegistus-Jr , Alexander F Ungerer Report

Final score:

36points

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#30

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today The lack of funds currently in my bank account lol.

anon , Pixabay Report

Final score:

32points

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#31

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today My tattered underwear.

medical-girly , Fahad Waseem Report

Final score:

22points

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#32

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today I'm dead, I don't care that they find a full deepfreezer in the cellar.

SuperJefe1965 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

21points

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#33

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today That my Spotify will show..... that I listen to.... ugh. The black eyed peas.

noir_cherry , Garley Gibson Report

Final score:

20points

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#34

That I choose to be single for 12 years to show my loyalty for a certain lady who straight out says "I don't want you".

No_Night_7823 Report

Final score:

20points

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#35

When I die the people around me had better have the decency to not look through my laptop/phone or they're going to find my fanfiction page and all the weird s**t I have bookmarked on it. I'd better pray there's no afterlife or ghost life because I might just die of embarrassment a second time.

LevelAd5898 Report

Final score:

19points

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#36

30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today They're gonna find a lot of clothes from the opposite gender.

PeggingForMercy , Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 Report

Final score:

18points

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#37

How boring and non embarrassing my life is 🤣.

JovialJargon Report

Final score:

18points

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#38

I watched, and enjoyed, all 20 seasons of Grey's Anatomy .

knuck_figures_ Report

Final score:

16points

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#39

I've got computer backups that span 1996-current day. When I die, someone is going to probably grab my rig and start looking through the files. Embarrassing teenaged poetry, dark relationship secrets, my entire photo collection, every text-based argument I've had via mobile phone and email... it's just an immense treasure trove of humiliation, really.

I really need to set up some kind of self destruct device on my computer, so it can go out Mission: Impossible style.

anda3rd Report

Final score:

14points

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#40

They would find the gold flatware I have, hidden under my bed and cash in.

HumbleAd1317 Report

Final score:

14points

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#41

NOTES APP.

yxmir- Report

Final score:

13points

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What do you think ?

StumblingThroughLife 5 months ago (edited)

This year, since I'm getting to be an olld bird, I've been decluttering my house. As time goes on, things that I held onto that weren't sentimental or any use to anyone, has been thrown out or taken to charity shops. I also spent two days deeply scratching all optical disk copies of files, etc, that are no longer looked at, but some with personal/bank/PW, etc files, and have formatted old HDDs that had content "I may need one day" lol. Also clothes I know will NEVER fit me again 😂 Must admit, I feel quite proud of the clutter I'd cleared.

Salty_Sasquatch 5 months ago

And so you should be!

5points

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Jack Burton 5 months ago

Looks like pretty regular stuff...

Dumb teenager 5 months ago

You’d be nuts to post anything else publicly without being anonymous

2points

Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago

I think most of these people didn't understand the assignment. Most of these things aren't embarrassing. They are a little depressing, but not embarrassing. To the person asking his/her sister to keep a whole bunch of family secrets.....get them out and stop making your sister do all your dirty work when you're dead. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that burden.

10points

I hope she reads it just before the funeral and throws it away when thinking how upset she herself had been on reading it, and refuses to upset everyone else..

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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today

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